Attempts at Poetry - 5. The Fog

Nice tanka! They are not my personal fav, too personal and I have difficulty writing them but yours was good.
tim

Love it, CM! I see a journey to the top of a rise... sucess... and you gaze upon that which gives you comfort... kind of like a sruggle to get home. I felt this one... well done... Cheers... Gary...

Living in a land of cold and fog and actually liking it, I felt your poem. The calm that comes with fog is soothing.

I can see the mist below, while your breathing recovers. Great poem!

Thanks for taking the poetry prompt challenge! As a Tanka, I think it's right there – in other words, the spirit is right, and so it the subjective POV of the poet. The use of the poet's voice in Tanka seems to hang up a lot of folks who approach it as if a Haiku.

I like the imagery a lot, for cold air 'biting' the lungs is feeling most people can relate to, and then there is mini victory in simply getting to the top. That's a great metaphor too, as 'the high ground,' or the 'vantage point' is something we should be working to obtain.

I hope you continue to explore the possibilities of the Tanka as a form. I think you'll do good things with it!

On 11/29/2015 03:30 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Nice tanka! They are not my personal fav, too personal and I have difficulty writing them but yours was good.

tim

Yeah, I've usually stuck with free form or rhyming. These poetry prompts are great for getting me to move out of my comfort zone a bit. I'm glad you liked it, Thanks!

On 11/29/2015 03:37 AM, Headstall said:

Love it, CM! I see a journey to the top of a rise... sucess... and you gaze upon that which gives you comfort... kind of like a sruggle to get home. I felt this one... well done... Cheers... Gary...

Thanks so much!

On 11/29/2015 03:43 AM, Puppilull said:

Living in a land of cold and fog and actually liking it, I felt your poem. The calm that comes with fog is soothing.

I've always felt fog was calming. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you!

On 11/29/2015 06:28 AM, Parker Owens said:

I can see the mist below, while your breathing recovers. Great poem!

Hiking early in the morning where you reach the top and you're above the fog still in the valley... just always one of my favorite moments growing up. Glad you liked it. Thanks!

On 11/30/2015 01:14 PM, AC Benus said:

Thanks for taking the poetry prompt challenge! As a Tanka, I think it's right there – in other words, the spirit is right, and so it the subjective POV of the poet. The use of the poet's voice in Tanka seems to hang up a lot of folks who approach it as if a Haiku.

 

I like the imagery a lot, for cold air 'biting' the lungs is feeling most people can relate to, and then there is mini victory in simply getting to the top. That's a great metaphor too, as 'the high ground,' or the 'vantage point' is something we should be working to obtain.

 

I hope you continue to explore the possibilities of the Tanka as a form. I think you'll do good things with it!

Thank you, AC! I have really enjoyed trying out new forms. I've never liked haikus that much, I really did like this one. Maybe because it's a little bit longer.