My Very Own Secret Santa - 1. Story

“God I hate these damn things!” I growled to myself as I glared at the reminder on my online calendar. “Who in the hell decided it would be a good idea to have the office party on Christmas Eve? What the fuck is there to be merry about?”

“Someone’s channeling their inner Scrooge,” Liz teased as she walked into my office. “What’s got your Santa hat in a bunch?” she continued, grinning at me as she sat down in one of my guest chairs.

I glared at her irritably knowing she was right and I was being irrational. “Office parties should be against the law,” I grumbled, knowing I wouldn’t get a drop of sympathy from her. Liz is one of my closest friends, but she can be brutal with her honesty and I figured I was about to get a healthy dose of said honest shortly. “And who decided we had to have a stupid Secret Santa? How am I supposed to buy something for somebody I don’t even know?”

“You are supposed to be a Secret Santa, Gary. Not the Grinch who stole Christmas,” Liz replied laughing at me. “We do this every year so you should be used to it by now. Who did you end up getting?”

“Amanda …. Somebody,” I answered frowning, attempting to recollect anything about her. “I can’t remember her last name,” I ranted, dredging my memory for the elusive name. “I don’t even know who that is or what department she works in!”

Liz rolled her eyes at me. “Amanda works in the Accounting department Gary. You give her your expense reports every month,” she continued drilling into me. “Maybe if you actually talked to people you would know who they are.”

“That’s not fair,” I half whined, looking into Liz’s eyes hoping for some sympathy and not finding any. I sighed, signaling defeat. “I know,” I grumbled. “I’m too much of an introvert. But these social things drive me crazy. I’m uncomfortable doing the whole small talk, get to know you thing. You know that.”

“I do,” Liz answered smiling gently at me. “This is why I always make sure you go to these things – I’m trying to help you. If I didn’t, you’d end up being a hermit in a cave. Or a crazy cat lady. Or both!”

I couldn’t help laughing at the image that pulled up in my mind. “Oh please!” I shot back. “You aren’t trying to help. You get off on torturing me!”

“That’s just a bonus,” Liz promptly responded making us both laugh. “So what did you end up getting for Amanda? Please tell me you didn’t wimp out and get a gift card.”

“No, I got her a nice bottle of wine,” I answered pointing towards the gift bag near the door. “Even if she doesn’t drink, the vintage is nice enough she can always re-gift it.”

“Not bad, considering,” Liz half complimented me as she stood up and walked around to my side of the desk. “Now put on your happy face and get your butt out there! Put on your Santa hat and at least pretend you’re having a good time,” Liz scolded as she placed one of the Santa hat decorations on my head.

“Yes ma’am,” I answered, rolling my eyes and reaching up to pull the ridiculous hat off my head.

“Leave that alone,” Liz snapped, slapping my hands away from the hat. “It makes you look festive.” Liz finally took pity on me and smiled sympathetically. “You won’t have to suffer too long. The forecast calls for snow tonight so the party should end fairly early.”

“It’s a Christmas Miracle!” I exclaimed with mock enthusiasm. “I knew I wanted a White Christmas for some reason,” I mused sarcastically and earned a chuckle from Liz. “You know, these stupid social things wouldn’t be so bad if I had a boyfriend I could bring.”

“You will never get a boyfriend if you don’t actually socialize once in a while,” Liz scolded me again. “What do you think they are going to do? Knock on your door and jump in your arms?”

I rolled my eyes again and then grinned at her. “Well, maybe my boyfriend can be Santa and he can just come down my chimney!”

Liz groaned as she punched my arm. “I’m not even touching that one!” she said, picking up my double entendre immediately. “Now get your butt in there. And smile!”

“Yes ma’am,” I said again, sighing as I allowed her to lead me to the company lobby that had briefly been changed into some perverted version of a winter wonderland. Even with the weather cutting the festivities short, I had a feeling this was going to be a long night. There’s nothing like attending a party to drive home the sad fact that you are going to spend yet another Christmas alone.

A couple of hours later, and after what felt like several thousand painful conversations about the weather, I finally saw light at the end of the tunnel. The party started winding down as various staff members left trying to beat the coming snow, and I finally felt it appropriate to make a graceful exit. I figured not even Liz could scold me since I had manfully stayed till only a few die-hards remained. In fact, I even spied Liz preparing to leave so I figured she couldn’t say too much if I made my own escape.

I embarked on the slow rounds of saying good night, wishing people a happy holiday – got to remember to be politically correct after all – and of course the obligatory drive safe. Blah, blah, blah – small talk is just painful! I collected my Secret Santa gift in its oh so festive and bright paper – we were under strict orders not to open till Christmas since Santa was watching (gag!) – and then went to collect my coat from my office. Finally I could just go home and try and forget this was supposed to be some kind of happy holiday. Those people at Hallmark and all the other marketing people who shove Christmas Spirit down everyone’s throat just suck!

That final thought made me start laughing. Liz was right. I am a Grinch with hints of Scrooge thrown in for good measure.

I decided to make my escape and limit my chances of bumping into any other party goers by taking the back steps. Cowardly I know, but I just couldn’t face another bright Seasons Greeting wish. I figured it far better to be cowardly than to turn homicidal. After all, Santa was watching right?

A flurry of snow greeted me as I opened the door to the parking lot and I spied several inches of the white stuff already covering the ground. Apparently even Mother Nature decided to pick on me tonight! Her thoughtful little gift meant I’d get to drive the thirty miles or so home on slicked up roads. Just fucking fantastic.

“Gary!” I heard Liz yell my name and turned to find her rushing towards me. “Oh good you haven’t left yet,” she continued breathlessly and nearly bowling me over. “Do you have jumper cables? And do you know how to jump start a car?” she asked, her voice filled with concern.

“You having car problems Liz,” I asked, and then realized the stupidity of that question. I felt fairly sure she wasn’t just asking me rhetorical questions. Liz can be a little random at times, but even she wouldn’t be so random as to decide to quiz me on my mechanical abilities in the middle of a snow storm.

“Not me,” Liz answered anxiously, leading me towards the mostly empty lot. “It’s Adam. He can’t get his car started. And just about everyone else has already left.”

“Yeah, and the poor guy probably has about zero chance of getting anyone to look at his car on Christmas Eve,” I replied. “Uh, which one is Adam?” I asked, hoping Liz would be too preoccupied, or at least out of breath, to scold me for not knowing.

“Oh good lord!” Liz stormed, spinning around to glare at me with her hands on her hips. “Do you know anyone in that building besides me? One of these days you really need to get your head out of your ass!”

“Chill Liz!” I grumped, a bit defensively I’ll admit. “You know I’m bad at putting names to faces. And yelling at me still doesn’t let me know who he is.”

“Adam works in the IT department,” Liz growled. “Which you should know since he was the one who updated your computer just yesterday. He only spent twenty minutes in your office, but I’m sure you were too busy to even notice.”

“Oh,” I managed to mutter feeling more than a little stupid. “Uh, yeah,” I mumbled as I dredged my memory. “Blonde guy, right? Kinda tall?” The last was safe since it seemed everyone was taller than me. “He seemed nice,” I mumbled, feeling like an abashed school boy.

Liz rolled her eyes and started to storm off. Her exit would have been perfect, very dramatic even, except Liz forgot the snow in her huff and started to slip. She would have fallen on her ass, but fortunately I caught her before she hit the ground. No mean feat since truthfully I’m not much taller than Liz. I figured my little bit of chivalry would get me off the hook, but no such luck. Liz was irritated at me and I wasn’t going to get off easy just because I saved her from bruising her posterior.

“Adam is very nice, you ass,” Liz continued scolding me as we approached a vehicle with the hood up. “Unlike some people I could mention, he is sweet and will do just about anything to help when he can. Everyone just loves him. He can be a little geeky, but he really does have a heart of gold and is the cutest guy ever.” I could vaguely make out a hunched form leaning over the engine, but I couldn’t really make out any details. Though the way Liz extolled his virtues I half expected to see a halo shining over Adam’s head. “He’s a little shy so be nice,” Liz hissed quietly at me just before we reached his car.

“Hey Adam,” I greeted hoping that it sounded like I remembered him. “Liz says you’re having some car problems. Is the engine turning over at all?” Adam unfolded from over the engine and looked over at us, a shy smile spreading across his face. I still couldn’t make out too many details of how he looked under his bulky coat, but I did have to admit he did have a nice smile, although I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Liz had called him the cutest guy ever. His face was pleasant, even handsome, but I didn’t really think GQ would be knocking down his door anytime soon.

“Uh, hey Gary,” Adam said quietly, seeming to almost duck into his coat shyly and even in the darkness I swear I could see his face flush in embarrassment. “Uhm, yeah, I don’t really know too much about cars. I can’t get it to start. It’s not really making any noise at all. Just some clicking when I turn the key,” Adam finished giving me a hopeful little glance.

I couldn’t help sighing even as my heart went out to the poor guy. I knew he had to be frustrated and more than a little embarrassed he had to ask for help. His description of the troubles didn’t give me much hope though. I had a distinct feeling his car needed more than just a jump. “Why don’t you try starting it so I can give it a listen?” I asked, trying to make my voice sound cheerful but not really succeeding.

I could tell Adam caught my unvoiced reservations because he seemed to shrink even more into himself as he obediently made his way to the driver’s seat. I watched as he winced and then turned the key. Not surprisingly, the engine failed to turn over, nor did it even make the clicking noise he had described earlier.

“Buddy, I hate to tell you this, but I think you’re going to need more than just a jump,” I told him quietly, hating that I had to give him the bad news. “We’re probably going to have to get your car towed to a garage, but I really doubt we can get anyone out here tonight. “ With each word I spoke it seemed I could see a little of the light fade from Adam’s eyes and I knew this had to be one sucky Christmas Eve for the poor guy.

“There shouldn’t be a problem with just leaving your car here for the next day or so Adam,” Liz chimed in helpfully, trying to lift the poor guy’s spirits. “No one will bother it since we have security cameras on the lot. We just need to get you a ride home tonight and we’ll figure the rest out later.”

“Uhm, yeah, ok,” Adam mumbled in a disheartened voice. “I guess I’ll go back inside. I’m probably going to have to make a couple of calls to find someone to come all the way in town to get me.” Adam heaved a discouraged sigh as he grabbed a wrapped package I assumed he had received from his Secret Santa. He heaved another small sigh as he locked up his car. “This kinda sucks,” he muttered so quietly I’m sure he didn’t mean for anyone to hear.

“I can probably get you home,” I heard myself offering before I even realized it. I’m sure my offer surprised both of them; I know it sure as hell surprised me. Something about the poor guy just had me wanting to lend a hand.

“Oh Gary that would be really nice of you,” Liz said quickly, the surprise in her voice almost making me laugh. “Adam lives only a few miles from your house, so it wouldn’t be too big of a detour.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Adam chimed in almost before Liz finished. “I’m sure you have plans and I don’t want to disrupt your Christmas Eve.” The look of unexpected gratitude and the note of surprise in his voice made me feel a little ashamed of the reputation I had apparently gained. Maybe helping this poor guy would help balance my karma; I seemingly needed it.

“No worries,” I brushed off Adam’s concerns. “My only plan for tonight was to sack out on the couch and fall asleep watching old movies. I’m pretty sure the couch will wait for me,” I joked bringing a slight smile to his face. “Let’s throw your stuff in my car and get out of her. I’m freezing my balls off!”

“Oh Gary!” Liz admonished me while shaking her head amusedly. “But in this case I happen to agree with you. It’s too fucking cold out here!” she said shocking me a little with her use of profanity. “Drive safe and Merry Christmas,” Liz said as she gave me a slight kiss on the cheek. “You too Adam,” she finished, kissing Adam on the cheek too and bringing a blush to his face.

Adam and I made our way to my car, taking our time not only to avoid slipping in the snow but also to make sure Liz made it safely to her own car. I absently used my key fob to unlock the doors so Adam could get in, but I waited the few moments it took Liz to start her car and make her slow way out of the parking lot. When I turned I was surprised to see that Adam had nearly finished cleaning the snow off my windows.

“Hey, you didn’t have to do that!” I told him gratefully. “But thanks, I appreciate it. God knows I hate scraping the windows.”

“No problem,” Adam answered smiling at me. “I figured it was the least I could do since you are giving me a lift home,” he said as he climbed into the passenger seat.

“Speaking of, where do you live?” I asked curiously as I started the car and immediately flipped on the seat warmers. How did we ever live before seat warmers? “I know Liz said you live pretty close to me, but that isn’t the most precise directions,” I joked bringing another of those smiles to his face. I was really beginning to develop a passion for those cute smiles he sported.

“Just off the highway, right before you get into town,” Adam answered. “A mile or so down Old Oak Road,” he finished as I pulled out of the lot and started towards the highway.

“In that new subdivision?” I asked, glancing at him and seeing him nod yes. “Wow!” I said a little surprised at just how close we lived to each other. “Liz was right; we are practically neighbors. I actually live in town, but I pass by your turn every day.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen you,” Adam answered and then promptly blushed. “Uh, I mean, I’ve seen you pass by on your way to work sometimes,” he finished ducking his head a little. “I wasn’t like stalking you or anything,” he followed up nervously. I found that nervous, shy thing of his pretty damn cute and I hid my smile to keep form embarrassing him even more.

“Damn! I always wanted a stalker of my very own,” I joked, making him laugh. “Guess I’ll just have to be content with my nosy neighbor spying on me,” I continued in a fake wistful voice making Adam laugh even harder.

Privately I had to admit that the idea of Adam stalking me did intrigue me just a bit, in a lewd, erotic daydream sort of way. I wouldn’t wish the horror of a real stalker on my worst enemy, but the fantasy Adam-stalker idea, that provoked a whole set of fantasies that I probably shouldn’t entertain while in the car with him. But I had to admit, it would be nice to think someone as cute as Adam would be interested in me.

A slight cough from Adam made me suddenly realize I had let my daydreams go on for a bit too long and the long stretch of silence might just be a tad uncomfortable. I was eternally grateful for the lack of illumination in my car since I knew I had to be blushing just a bit. Not to mention the lack of light made it more difficult to see the start of the pup tent in my pants. I really needed to get my imagination under control before I made a complete fool of myself.

“You have big plans for Christmas,” I asked lamely, hoping to fill some of that uneasy silence and maybe give my overactive libido something else to focus on. “Hopefully the car troubles won’t cause you too much grief with any travel plans.”

Adam coughed again and I could tell I had broached an uncomfortable topic for him which only heightened my sense of unease. Only I, with my vastly inept social skills, could pick the one topic of small talk that would make my passenger feel even tenser. Apparently it must be my superpower.

“Uh, no, it won’t cause any problems,” Adam answered quietly. “I don’t really have any plans for Christmas this year. My parents flew to Seattle to see my sister’s family since they haven’t seen her for a couple of years,” Adam continued. “Leaves little old me to do the Home Alone thing,” Adam finished, shrugging a little too nonchalantly.

“Why didn’t you go with them?” I asked without thinking that Adam might not want to talk about it. Inwardly I cringed, practically before the words escaped my mouth. My superpowers were working overtime tonight. One of these days I’m really going to have to see if I can buy a filter for my mouth since my brain does such a lousy job of it. I’d have to get an extra-large, super strength one though. “I’m sorry,” I tried to follow up quickly. “I don’t mean to be nosey. As you can probably tell, I don’t exactly excel at the social graces.”

Adam actually laughed at my display of well-deserved self-deprecation. “I don’t mind,” Adam assured, smiling at me. “It’s kind of nice finding someone even worse at small talk than me,” he teased making me laugh. “The travel plans were made several months ago and originally I had intended to spend Christmas with my boyfriend,” Adam continued explaining. “But that kind of blew up several weeks ago when we broke up and it was too late to try and get the time off or get tickets.”

“Oh that sucks,” I sympathized. And I did feel bad for the guy since I knew how depressing it could be to spend the holidays alone. But those sympathy feelings were on total auto pilot since my warped little brain had immediately frozen on that ‘my boyfriend’ phrase Adam had so casually thrown out. Those two words seemed to have given my imagination some of kind of lewd, erotic license to wander freely. Truthfully I began to wonder if someone had spiked my drink at the party or something. As a normal rule I usually don’t indulge in those kinds of thoughts about a guy I barely knew. Well, at least not in public.

Adam gave a half chuckle, thankfully breaking into my reverie as he replied. “Truthfully I don’t really mind not going,” he confided. “This way I got out of having to spend time with my sister’s hubby. He’s not exactly subtle about what he thinks about me. It’s one of the few things my sister and he fight about and I don’t really enjoy being the center of an argument.”

“Oh, sorry,” I answered lamely and feeling like a total idiot. “It’s nice that your sister stands up for you though.”

“Yeah, we always got along great,” Adam said smiling. “She was the first person I came out to. She just rolled her eyes at me and said ‘No shit Sherlock.’ Apparently I didn’t hide it very good from her,” Adam continued, laughing at himself. “I miss her like crazy, although she used to drive me crazy trying to set me up with any guy who had a pulse.” Adam paused and laughed. “Of course now I have Liz to fill in on the match maker thing.”

I couldn’t help chuckling. “Ahhh, so you are her latest victim,” I joked. “I wondered why she gave up on me. I wanted to ask her why I was getting so much peace, but I was too afraid to remind her I’m still single.”

“Thanks!” Adam responded sarcastically and we shared a laugh. “I haven’t known any peace since she caught me staring at a guy and I admitted I thought he was cute. She keeps pestering me to ask him out even though I keep telling her he is way out of my league.”

“Yeah, she can be a bit of a pest,” I chuckled my agreement with him. “But in this case I think you might be selling yourself short. You seem like a pretty attractive guy to me so I can’t imagine you are really out of the guy’s league.”

My comment had Adam blushing and he ducked his head again making him seem just that much cuter. “I’m just average,” he disagreed with me, stammering. “But thanks,” he finished, flashing me a quick, grateful look. “This guy is way better looking than me though,” he continued making me a little curious who had caught his eye. “Not to mention he’s got a great personality, he’s smart and funny and interesting and…” Adam trailed off and glanced at me, before ducking his head blushing again. “Uh, sorry. I get a little carried away whenever I start thinking about him. Liz always laughs at me when I start rambling on and on about him.”

“Eh,” I answered grinning at him. “What the fuck does Liz know?” I continued making a disgusted sound. “She’s a breeder so she obviously has no taste!” I finished getting a laugh out of Adam. “But if you tell her I said that I’m going to have to hurt you!” I jokingly threatened him.

Adam grinned at me. “Your secret is safe with me!” he promised, laughing. “Besides, she might try hitting me too if I tell her!” We both shared a laugh.

“Looks like we almost have you home,” I said pointing at the sign announcing the upcoming turn off. Truthfully I felt a little disappointed about that. Adam had turned into a good driving companion and I had to admit I found him very interesting. I’d much rather continue driving in the snow storm if it meant I got to spend more time with him than face going home alone.

“Yeah,” Adam replied and I almost thought I heard a wistful note in his voice. “Thanks again for getting me home.”

“No problem,” I answered, frowning a little as I slowed the car for the turn. “Although I haven’t actually got you home yet,” I continued distractedly, trying to see the cross road thru the snow. To make matters worse, a snow plow had gone thru recently and the piles of snow it left on the sides of the road made it very hard to find the turn off. “Where the hell is the turn?” I asked absently, not really expecting a reply and slowed to a crawl.

“It should be right here,” Adam answered, trying to peer thru the snow. “I think we are at the intersection now – we just can’t see it because of the piles of snow from the plow. Stop the car and I’ll get out and check.”

“Ok,” I answered, pulling over a little and checking the rearview mirror to make sure no one was behind us. As soon as I came to a stop Adam opened his door, pulled himself out of his seat and promptly vanished as his feet went out from under him. “Adam!” I yelled as I scrambled out of my seat and around the car to help him.

Adam was already pulling himself out of the ditch that was half full of a slushy water-icy snow mix. “Are you ok?” I asked, and I noticed a touch of frantic concern in my voice. I started towards him to help when he waved me back.

“Nothing hurt by my pride,” Adam answered in a self-deprecating voice. “Damn! This water is cold!” he continued, his teeth already starting to chatter. “Looks like my road got blocked by the snow plow though,” he continued. “No way can you get your car thru that pile. I can just hoof it from here though.”

“Get back in the car and turn the heater on full blast,” I commanded, overriding the start of his protest about getting my upholstery wet. “There is no way in hell I’m going to let you walk the rest of the way home in this cold and with you soaked to the skin. You’ll get frostbite for sure,” I scolded, still overriding his stream of halfhearted protests. “Do it for me,” I continued in a bantering tone. “You know Liz would never let me hear the end of it if I let you get frostbite,” I joked making him laugh, but it did get him to climb into the car.

“I was serious about not being able to get thru Gary,” Adam said as soon as I climbed into the driver’s seat. His teeth were chattering non-stop now and his skin had a slight blue tinge to it. “You’ll only get stuck if you try.”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to try to plow thru,” I assured him as I slowly pulled back onto the road. “I’ll take you back to my place before you turn into a popsicle,” I joked. “Looks like you’ll have the rare privilege of spending Christmas Eve with me and Rocky.”

“Rocky?” Adam asked quietly. “You have company? I don’t want to intrude,” he continued sounding a little sad. “I’m sure you and Rocky don’t need a third wheel. Why don’t you just take me to a hotel?”

“Well, the nearest hotel is thirty miles back the way we came,” I answered him turning onto my street. “And Rocky won’t mind you intruding as long as you don’t try and eat out of his food dish,” I continued light heartedly. The selfish part of me actually looked forward to having Adam as company. “Rocky is my dog,” I continued, answering the confused look he was giving me.

“Oh!” Adam answered happily and flashing me a grin that could have lit the night. “I didn’t know you had a dog,” he continued. “What kind?”

“A full-blooded mutt who stands about as high as my ankles,” I answered laughing as I pulled into my drive and hit the garage door remote. “But don’t tell Rocky that. Depending on his mood he either thinks he’s a Doberman attack dog or that he is a human and I’m his pet.” I pulled into the garage and hit the remote to close the door behind us. “I found him when he was just a pup and no bigger than the palm of my hand. I normally like big dogs, but he was just so damn cute and he already had a definite personality that I just had to keep him. Or he had to keep me. Whatever.”

Adam laughed as we got out of the car and he followed me into the house. I kicked my shoes off and peeled off my coat as soon as we entered and Adam followed suit. I noticed he didn’t seem to want to move out of the entrance way and I realized he didn’t want to track water thru my house. “Don’t worry about the water,” I assured him. “But let’s get you into the bathroom so you can take a shower and get warmed up. Follow me,” I commanded and he obediently followed me – the thought of a hot shower working its magic.

“God, I’m not sure I’ll ever get warmed back up,” Adam muttered as I showed him into the bathroom and the waiting shower. “I’m not sure I’m ever going to want to get out, but I’ll try not to run you out of hot water.”

“Take as long as you want,” I told him smiling. “I’ve got one of those tankless, instant-on hot water heaters so you can’t run out unless the whole damn town runs out of water,” I joked making his eyes light up appreciatively. “I’ll wrangle us up some food while you thaw out. That rabbit food they serve at our parties isn’t very filling,” I finished, getting another smile out of Adam.

On my way to the kitchen, I took a few minutes to change out of my office clothes and into some comfy sweats. I also took a few moments to mop up the water Adam had trailed in since I knew I’d probably have all kinds of time before Adam felt properly warmed. I normally hate any kind of cleaning, but I knew I had a big old silly grin on my face as I mopped up the puddles. For once I had someone to spend Christmas Eve with and even though I might wish for a boyfriend to share the holiday with, just having a friend over felt pretty damn good. I did feel a twinge or two of guilt that my company came at Adam’s expense, but I assuaged my conscious by telling myself that Adam didn’t have plans and would have been alone too.

After putting the mop away I wandered into the kitchen to put together some sandwiches. I had started a crockpot of soup heating before I had left that morning and had enough to feed twenty people let alone just two. I’m not the best cook in the world, but I figured fucking up sandwiches and soup would be difficult even for me.

I was busy rummaging around in my fridge for various condiments for our sandwiches when I heard Adam wander into the kitchen. “I think I got most of my blood thawed out,” he joked making me laugh and bump my head against one of the shelves in the fridge. “Something smells good. I hope you didn’t go to too much trouble.”

“It’s just cheese and potato soup and some sandwiches,” I answered as I pulled my head out of the fridge and turned to face him. The sight confronting me made me almost drop everything I held and I know my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. I was in no way prepared to be presented with an Adam wearing only a towel wrapped loosely around his waist and using another to dry his hair.

“Damn,” I muttered as I got my first good look at him without the usual camouflage of baggy office clothes he normally wore. My eyes wandered over Adam’s smooth, well defined pectorals that would have been the envy of any man alive. His stomach showed every ridge of his abdominal muscles that exhausted me just thinking about how many crunches it would take to become that defined. Those abs led my eyes to his belly button and the slight beginnings of a blonde treasure trail leading down to those areas so unfairly covered by that damn towel. It took just about every ounce of self-control I possessed to keep from drooling, or pouncing on him, or at the very least pulling that towel off of him.

“Sorry,” Adam muttered blushing. “I didn’t mean to run around your house half naked,” he continued, fortunately misunderstanding my lust filled look as simple surprise. “But I didn’t want to put those wet clothes back on. Uh, I don’t suppose you have something I can wear do you?”

I felt tempted to tell him no and that I would also need my towel back, but I figured that would be just a little obvious. I also sadly concluded that I better get him covered up before my poor little brain melted with lust. “Uh, well, I dunno,” I stammered demonstrating my vast powers of eloquence and getting a confused look from Adam. I really needed to get a grip here. “You’re quite a bit bigger than me,” I tried explaining and hopefully digging myself out of that hole I had sunk into. “I don’t know if I have anything that will fit you. Let’s go check my closet and see,” I finished lamely and headed towards my bedroom in a slight daze.

When we got to my bedroom I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and turned to face him. I gave him a quick scrutiny trying to determine what I had that wouldn’t strangle him trying to put it on. “How big are you anyway?” I muttered. I swear on a stack of bibles that it was just happenstance that my eyes were at his waist when I asked my question. Unfortunately Adam caught the direction of my gaze.

“Uh, I uh, I don’t know,” he stuttered turning bright red. “I’ve, uh, never measured,” he answered completely misunderstanding what I was asking.

The look I gave him must have been priceless since he turned even brighter red. “You don’t know what size you are?” I asked, confused as hell looking him straight in the eye. And then my brain finally caught up and I burst out laughing. “Oh Shit!” I managed to gasp around my laughter. “I meant what size clothes you wear, not how big your, well, uh you know…”I trailed off laughing so hard I almost had tears coming out of my eyes.

Adam looked mortified, but fortunately wasn’t so uptight he couldn’t laugh at himself, even in such an embarrassing situation as this. “Fuck me,” he muttered ducking his head a little in that way that I found cute as hell. “Uh, guess we know where my mind was at,” Adam laughed softly, blushing again. “Uh, ‘k, to answer your real question, I wear an extra-large shirt, but prefer double XL since I like my clothes baggy. And I have a thirty six inch waist.” He grinned at me. “And I really never have measured so shut up!” he jokingly growled at me.

“I’m sorry man,” I answered, still chuckling. “But that was funny as hell. I’ll admit to some natural curiosity along those lines since the rest of you is built like a fucking brick house,” I confessed bringing a light blushing grin to his face. “But I really was just trying to figure out what I had that we could get you into without cutting off your circulation,” I finished turning to begin rummaging thru my closet.

“Damn,” I muttered as I quickly sorted thru my clothes. “The largest shirt I own is a medium. And I’ve had a twenty eight inch waist since I graduated high school,” I grumbled. “Guess that will teach you to rely on a small, wimpy little shit like me to rescue you,” I complained.

“Oh stop it,” Adam admonished me, his voice holding a surprising tone of heat. “You may be smaller than me, but you are hardly a wimpy little shit. In fact I think you are a pretty great guy. Not everyone would go out of their way to try and help like you did.”

I gave Adam a quick, curious glance at the heat in his voice, but decided not to pursue it. I flipped thru several more items of clothes while he watched over my shoulder. I had almost reached the back of my closet when I came across a huge bathrobe. I knew he could easily fit in it, but I hesitated not sure how he would feel wearing only a robe.

“I could wear that,” Adam chimed in before I said a word. “It looks like it is just my size, not to mention like it will be very warm. Why did you get a robe so big?” he asked curiously.

“It was a present from my mom,” I answered pulling it out and handing it to him. “I think she still thinks I’m going to grow,” I joked making Adam grin. “Actually the woman has never bought me anything that fit me, but I never feel right about exchanging her gifts. She really tries to put a lot of thought into her gifts, but she has no sense of size.”

“That’s sweet,” Adam replied smiling warmly at me. “You don’t mind if I wear it?” he asked hesitantly. “With it being a gift from your mom, well, I don’t want to…”

“Don’t worry,” I answered, cutting him off. “I’m glad it will finally get some use,” I continued grinning. “And now I’ll be able to tell mom that I used it without lying thru my teeth. Not my fault if I leave out that I used it by lending it to a friend.”

I figured Adam would go into the bathroom to change into the robe, but apparently my new friend had no qualms what so ever about changing in front of another guy. He did turn his back to me as he pulled off his towel in what I suppose was a mild sense of modesty. What Adam failed to notice was he now faced my mirror so I got the double pleasure of seeing both sides at once. And it was definitely a pleasure – God had apparently decided after going to the trouble of giving Adam such a great body it would be a shame not to be equally kind with his endowment too.

I couldn’t help staring for a couple of seconds, and then gulped and guiltily turned to straighten my closet a little. I felt a little awkward that I enjoyed the eye candy Adam so unwitting offered, but I also had to confess to a little jealousy too. Adam was cute, smart, funny, built like a Greek god, and now I found his blessings extended to the family jewels department too! Some guys have all the luck!

“I thought you said you had a dog,” Adam asked as he finished putting on the robe and coming up behind me. I turned and felt a small measure of relief that the object of my lust filled daydreams was at least somewhat covered. I firmly told myself I did not feel any disappointment he hadn’t left the robe open. Besides, the way Adam had the robe tied still left a good deal of his chest exposed. Enough to rev up the more pornographic portions of my imagination anyway.

“Uh, yeah, I do,” I answered pulling myself back to reality. “Rocky probably trapped himself in the basement again,” I finished shaking my head at my mutt as we headed towards the kitchen. “He loves it down there for whatever reason, and he figured out how to open the door from this side while still a puppy. He just can’t seem to figure out how to open it from the other side,” I finished getting another grin from Adam. “Brace yourself,” I warned as I prepared to open the basement door. “As soon as he notices you he’s going to bark his fool head off to let you know you are a stranger and he is a big scary watch dog,” I told Adam smiling.

As soon as I opened the basement door Rocky came tearing up the stairs, wagging his tail so hard it actually shook his hind end from side to side. My mutt might be a bit mental, but man, he sure knows how to make me feel appreciated! Had Rocky been any bigger he’d bowl me over with his enthusiastic greetings. As it is, he butts his head into my legs over and over, yipping joyfully to let me know he missed me. Every single time! It always brings the biggest, goofiest grin to my face no matter how crappy my day has been.

“You get stuck down there again Rock head?” I asked my terror of a terrier. Rocky promptly answered by sneezing disdainfully and then butting his head into me again. Only then did he noticed Adam standing there watching us. True to my prediction, Rocky immediately spun around placing himself between me and the ‘intruder,’ barking a mile a minute to let the world know he was ferocious and was going to protect me.

“Oh hush Rock,” I admonished and making him cock his head at me curiously. “That’s Adam. He’s a friend,” I told my would-be savior. Rocky looked at me questioningly, glanced at Adam to make sure he hadn’t moved, and then looked back at me, sneezing at me again to ask if I was sure. “Yes, I’m sure Rock,” I assured him. “Adam’s nice. Now go say hi.”

Rocky gave me a huff to let me know he thought I had lost my mind, but dutifully trotted over to Adam and lifted his paw to shake. Adam squatted down bemusedly to take Rocky’s paw and shook it for a second. “Good to meet you Rocky,” Adam said directly to my dog and then correctly held his hand out to let Rocky sniff him. Rocky sniffed Adam’s fingers for a couple of seconds and then surprising the hell out of me, licked them in the way he usually does to let people know he likes them.

“Well that’s a bit of a shock,” I told Adam bemusedly. “It normally takes a few visits before Rock-head decides he likes someone. You wearing kibble behind your ears or something?” I jokingly asked Adam.

“Nahh, Rocky obviously just has good taste is all,” Adam answered grinning and simultaneously ducking his head in that cute way of his. Rocky immediately huffed his agreement and then magnanimously consented to letting Adam rub his ears. One thing was for sure, Adam was definitely scoring points with my mutt.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I scoffed making Adam laugh. “All right Rocky, let Adam up so he can eat. He’ll rub your ears again later.” Rocky gave Adam’s fingers one last lick and then immediately trotted over to his food dish, looked at me, and huffed to get my attention.

“You’ve got food Rock,” I said without even looking and serving up a bowl of soup for Adam. Rocky gave me a whine and pawed insistently at his half full bowl. “You don’t need anything else. Eat what’s in your bowl,” I responded, giving the bemused Adam a grin and then winked at him. Rocky, of course, wasn’t anywhere near to being finished. He pawed at his bowl again, making the food rattle against the sides, and then sneezed followed by a little high pitched yelp.

I assumed a fierce expression before turning to face my insistent pest of dog. “You’re spoiled,” I told him to which he promptly huffed his denial. “You are too,” I answered walking over to his bowl, “but you aren’t going to give me any peace till I give in are you?” I asked and got a yip for an answer. “All right you crazy mutt,” I gave in and scooped out a small handful of food to add to his bowl.

“It’s part of our routine,” I informed Adam as he laughed at us. “Every single night when I sit down to eat Rocky thinks he has to eat too. And he just has to have new food in his bowl even when it is completely full. I just put a few new pieces in his bowl and he is satisfied.” I nodded towards Rocky. “You’ll notice he is waiting until I sit down before he starts eating.”

“That’s so cool,” Adam laughed, picking up his spoon and starting in on his soup. “How on earth did you teach him all that? Growing up I could barely get my dogs to learn to sit, let alone anything more complicated. This is really good by the way,” Adam added as an afterthought as he slurped down another spoonful.

I grinned my appreciation of the compliment. “Thanks,” I replied. “Eat as much as you want – I made a whole crock pot,” I told him spooning some into my own mouth. “And to answer your question, I didn’t actually teach Rocky anything. He’s the smartest dog I’ve ever had and I swear he understands English completely. He just picked up all the crap he does on his own.”

“You were right, he’s definitely got a personality,” Adam said as he continued eating while watching Rocky. Rocky had dutifully taken a few bites so he could eat with us, and then wandered over to lie at my feet. “How long have you had him?” Adam asked curiously as he started in on one of the sandwiches I had made.

“About six and half years,” I replied, looking down at the object of our conversation who was busy entertaining himself by sniffing and nipping at our toes. “I found him behind my back porch stairs,” I continued, nudging Rocky with my foot before his nibbling got out of hand. “I think his momma hid him there while she went off to do whatever dogs do. I’m just speculating on that since I never did see her. She either got herself picked up by the pound, or got hit by a car, or some other nasty ending. Rocky was just a little ball of fluff and had started crying either hungry or cold or both, which is why I even knew to look for him at all.”

“Oh, that’s sad about his mom,” Adam replied as he took the last bite of his sandwich. “But at least you were there to rescue him.” Adam reached down to rub Rocky’s ears again much to my dog’s delight. “I bet he had you charmed from the second you saw him,” Adam teased giving me a sly grin. “Didn’t you Rocky?” Adam asked getting an affirmative yip from Rocky.

I snorted in mock denial. “Actually the little bugger scared the piss out of me,” I expanded, shaking my head at the memory. “As soon as I dug him out from behind my step and picked him up the little idiot promptly curled up in my hands and fell asleep,” I continued, smiling fondly at Rocky. “I thought I had hurt him or something and immediately rushed him to the vet’s office. Cost me a small fortune just to be told the only thing wrong with him was he was sleepy. So I told Rocky I was keeping him till he worked off his bill. He’s only got ten more years of hard labor to work off his debt,” I finished getting a laugh from Adam and a growl from my dog. Like I said, I swear he knows English!

“Do you want some more soup?” I asked Adam as I got up to put my bowl in the dishwasher. “Or another sandwich or anything?” I hadn’t been exaggerating when I described the food at the party as pretty dismal and I wanted to make sure Adam was full.

“No thanks,” Adam answered bringing me his bowl. “It tasted great, but I actually had a pretty late lunch.” Adam gave me another shy grin. “I’d ask for the recipe for that soup, but I’m hopeless in the kitchen. I can burn water!”

I laughed along with him as I put the rest of the food away. “Well, I wouldn’t call myself a chef, but it’s pretty hard to screw up when you use a crockpot. I’d have starved years ago without mine. Especially since Rocky wont share his food, will you Rock-head?” I teased and got a disdainful sneeze in reply. “C’mon,” I laughed. “Let’s go see if anything is worth watching on TV.”

“Can we watch Rudolph?” Adam teased in an excited little boy voice as he followed me into the family room. “Will Rocky protect me from the Monster Snowman?” he continued taking a seat on my couch. Hearing his name, Rocky promptly yipped and then jumped up to sprawl out on Adam.

“I think you’ve made a friend for life,” I teased smiling fondly at my traitorous hound and sinking into one of my oversized chairs across from Adam. “Or at least until you get tired of rubbing his ears,” I continued, absently scrolling thru the movie listings. “Anything grab your fancy?” I asked, not really caring what we watched.

“Well, if you really don’t mind,” Adam began hesitantly, his shyness coming to the fore. “Can we watch A Christmas Carol?” he asked, ducking his head in his trademark style. “Growing up, my family always used to watch it on Christmas Eve. It became a kind of tradition and it’s one of my favorite Christmas shows.”

“I’ve always liked that one too,” I replied flipping to the channel. “And believe it or not, I haven’t seen it yet this year so I think it’s definitely time to give it a viewing.” I reached over to dim the lights so we could see the show better and then I gave Adam a sly grin. “But you’ll have to bribe Rocky to protect you from the Ghosts!”

Adam laughed as he settled more comfortably in his seat and continued to pet Rocky absently. My little dog was going to be spoiled rotten after this visit! Not that I minded. I definitely enjoyed having Adam for company. And spoiling Rocky is always a favorite past time of mine.

We settled into a comfortable silence to enjoy the classic movie and it wasn’t long before I noticed Adam had lost himself completely to the timeless tale. I quickly found watching Adam and the emotions playing on his face much more fascinating than Dickens’ famous work. I grinned as I noticed Rocky taking insane advantage of Adam’s distraction, shamelessly wriggling and squirming anytime Adam paused in his petting. Invariably Adam would resume running his fingers thru my little scoundrel’s fur, probably without even realizing it. Even more fascinating, at least to me, was that every time Rocky squirmed against Adam it had the unintentional consequence of pulling and shifting Adam’s robe. It wasn’t long before Adam was displaying a good deal more of his body than he probably realized and I was treated to pretty much full frontal nudity. I felt a little guilty taking advantage of such appealing eye candy, but I made a mental note to get Rocky an extra special treat for being such a good dog.

Even as I enjoyed the near pornographic show on display in front of me, I realized I felt a little sad at the same time. I couldn’t deny I found Adam extremely attractive and I’d be lying thru my teeth if I claimed I hadn’t given thought to having a more intimate and physical relationship with him. But he had also quickly become a friend too. I found him interesting on so many more levels than just his physical attractiveness. So even if the possibility of an intimate relationship existed, I knew that I wanted something more than just a casual fling.

That created a problem of course. Adam admitted earlier he had his eye on someone already. And apparently that someone must be pretty spectacular since Adam considered himself just average in comparison. Also considering Adam’s personality, I just didn’t see him participating in some kind of friends with benefits relationship with me while he pursued another guy. So even if I could resign myself to that less than something more, I just couldn’t see Adam being a party to it.

The whole situation just about broke my heart. That of course made me feel pretty ridiculous. How could I be heartbroken over losing something I never had in the first place? Yet I felt it just the same.

Still, I figured even if I couldn’t have Adam as a boyfriend I could still have him as a friend. I could still find ways to spend time with him. For the time being he was still single and lived alone. Inviting him over to eat the occasional meal would allow both of us to have something of a social life. And Rocky would love having his overgrown playmate come spend time with us!

I could probably also use working out together as an excuse to spend time with Adam. Adam obviously took good care of himself and it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to tell him I’d like some exercise tips. I’m not a couch potato by any stretch of the imagination, but my workouts tended more towards cardio, like running or biking. The kinds of exercise that kept me lean and trim, but didn’t really lend to building bulging muscles. Truthfully I had always found weightlifting kind of boring. Picking up heavy objects and putting them back down again always seemed pretty tedious. But I could stand all kinds of tedious if it gave me a chance to be with Adam, not to mention it would probably give me ample chances to catch some Adam eye candy!

A big, happy sigh from Adam broke into my inner reverie and I realized the movie was nearing its end. Adam glanced over at me with his eyes sparkling. “I know it makes me a huge geek, but I love watching that show,” Adam admitted, grinning at me. I also couldn’t help notice that sometime during the movie he must have detected his open robe and fixed it. I briefly wondered if I could somehow get Rocky to pull it open again, but figured that might be a little hard to explain.

“Well, I think you have a lot of company if it makes you a geek,” I teasingly replied. “But us geeks need to stick together. Maybe we can form a club or something,” I joked.

Adam laughed at my cornball joke. “We can come up with a secret handshake!” he expanded. “And you can be the president and I’ll be the vice president. We’ll let Rocky be the club bouncer and enforcer,” Adam continued, rubbing Rocky’s ears and getting a yipping agreement.

“You are spoiling him rotten,” I laughed and got a huffing protest from my mutt. “You realize he will expect you to rub his ears for hours on end every time you come over now don’t you? You won’t get any peace until you indulge him now.”

“Works for me,” Adam replied smiling. “It reminds me of home and when I was little. I always loved rubbing my dog’s ears while I watched TV. This is almost like Christmas Eve with my family when I was a boy. Only thing missing is hot cocoa and getting to open a present,” Adam said looking up at me and grinning. “Mom would always let us open one on Christmas Eve. Probably just to get us to shut up!” he finished, laughing at the memory.

“That’s cool,” I answered, grinning at the thought of an excited little Adam opening up a present. “My family didn’t really have any set traditions, so I always like hearing what other families do. My parents would occasionally let us open a present or two the night before, but it wasn’t a tradition or anything.” I laughed as I thought about it. “Come to think of it, they also probably let us open a couple to shut us up too,” I said getting Adam laughing too. “I suppose we could open our Secret Santa gifts to keep the tradition alive,” I mused, smiling fondly at him.

Adam hesitated a few moments before replying. “I don’t know,” he answered slowly, a little frown crossing his face. “We weren’t supposed to open those till Christmas,” he expanded somewhat lamely making me wonder what thoughts were dancing in his head.

“We should be safe,” I answered, nodding towards the clock. “It’s just after midnight so technically it is Christmas.” I could still see the hesitation in my friend. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to Adam,” I told him, smiling gently. “I just thought you might want to continue with your tradition.”

Adam seemed to settle some kind of internal debate and suddenly relaxed. “Actually that does sound kind of nice,” he said, grinning boyishly. “Besides, I know Liz had my name and I’ve been dying to find out what twisted surprise she has in store for me!”

I laughed as I got up to grab our two gifts. “Well with Liz at least you know it will be nice even if she did decide to exercise her twisted wit. I don’t have a clue who had my name. I’ll probably end up with some hideously fugly sweater I’ll have to wear to the office at least once.”

Adam grinned mischievously as I handed him his gift and he practically bounced with only partially suppressed boyish excitement. “You go first,” I told him laughing. “If I make you wait much longer I think you’ll explode. How did your parents contain you when you were a boy?” I teased.

“Sorry,” Adam replied, snatching the present out of my hand and not sounding the least bit sorry. “I love the whole opening presents and being surprised thing,” he continued grinning from ear to ear. “And for the record, yes, I did drive my parents nuts which is why they always let me go first!”

I couldn’t help laughing as Adam tore the paper off his gift in less than a second, throwing the paper through the air much to Rocky’s delight. Rocky yipped joyously, bouncing around the room like some crazed jack in the box, and alternated catching the gift wrap and then tossing it back in the air. While my little dog demonstrated the proper way to make confetti, Adam had practically shredded the box holding his gift in his enthusiasm to find out what Liz had procured for him.

Finally getting the box open, Adam crowed with delight as he pulled out a set of binoculars and holding them up excitedly. “I can’t believe she remembered,” he shouted happily, his eyes twinkling. “I told her I wanted a pair back in July, and then only in passing,” he continued, blushing furiously. “She went way over the dollar limit though,” Adam fussed as he studied his gift, the smile on his face still lighting up the room.

I laughed, watching as Adam found a note Liz had attached to his gift and he started to blush even brighter as he read it. “You should know Liz by now,” I teased him, wondering what she had written that had my friend turning crimson. “She isn’t going to let some arbitrary rule stop her from doing what she wants, even if she was one of the people who came up with said rule.” I paused as Adam chuckled his agreement. “Do I even want to know what she wrote you?” I asked.

Adam wordlessly handed me the note, his cheeks remaining crimson. I chuckled at him as I spread open the note and spied Liz’s elegant writing.

Yes, I know I went over the limit. I don’t care! I wanted to get you something you really wanted. Just don’t become a stalker and use them to start spying on him, ok? I don’t want to have to bail you out of jail. Why don’t you just man-up and ask the guy out already? You’d make a really cute couple and if I have to watch you mope over him much longer I’m going to puke! He’s going to say yes - you’re too damn good looking for him to turn down.

Love and Merry Christmas,

Liz

When I finished and looked up I found Adam ducking his head in that little boy way I found so cute. “I was only joking when I told her I wanted them so I could watch, uh, well the guy I’ve been watching,” Adam mumbled, sounding embarrassed. “Well, mostly joking,” he admitted, glancing up at me, his cheeks going crimson again. “I really wanted them for the trip I’ve got planned to the Grand Canyon next summer.” He paused and then looked back up at me his eyes sparkling slyly. “But I guess they will come in handy for me to sneak better looks at some eye candy!”

I couldn’t help laughing at his shame-faced admission that revealed the oh-so-shocking truth that he was a normal horny guy. “By now you should know better than to give Liz ammunition,” I teased getting another blushing laugh from him. “I wonder what I got,” I mused as I started opening my gift. I’ve never been one to just tear into my gifts like Adam. Instead I like to take my time, I suppose to make the pleasure of the suspense last as long as possible.

Adam was only paying partial attention to me, I guess because I wasn’t tearing into the package in a frenzy like he did. Instead he divided his attention between examining his new binoculars and petting Rocky who had grown bored with chasing the gift wrap around the room. Of course Rocky might have gotten bored since he hadn’t left any pieces bigger than a quarter intact. My mutt had made one hell of a mess I’d have the pleasure of cleaning up. He’s thoughtful that way.

Eventually I got the gift wrap off and opened the box to reveal my own surprise. And what a surprise it turned out to be. Back in the day while growing up, Collier’s Encyclopedia Company had compiled a collection of classic tales and stories and had published them in a series of beautifully bound, hard cover books. My family had purchased the collection and I remembered spending many joyful hours perusing those books at length. Over the years, many of those books had been lost, misplaced, and in a few cases even accidently destroyed. As an adult I had scoured every bookstore I came across to re-create that collection and I proudly displayed them in my office at work. That is all except one volume I had never been able to locate. My Secret Santa had apparently found that missing book and presented me with a gift I’d truly treasure.

“How on earth did they know?” I whispered in awe still staring at the book in its box. “How did they find it? Who could have got this for me?” I asked rhetorically, still whispering.

“Cool,” Adam said from across the room making me look up. “That completes your collection doesn’t it,” he asked absently, still playing with Rocky’s ears and studying the various parts of his binoculars.

Adam’s response astonished me since I knew he couldn’t see the contents of my box. “How do you know that,” I asked, frowning at the mystery. “How do you even know what I got? Or that I’m missing this particular book?” I asked confused.

Adam looked up at me, looks of surprise and guilt alternating across his face. “Fuck me,” he muttered to himself, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment at being inadvertently caught. “Uhm,” Adam hesitantly began. “Uh, well, I’m your Secret Santa…” Adam admitted obviously uncomfortable with his revelation.

“But how did you know?” I persisted still confused. “How did you know I would want a book? How did you know I needed this particular book?” My mind reeled. Of all the possible gifts I could have received, very few would have meant as much to me as what Adam had given me.

“Shit,” Adam mumbled, ducking his head and staring intently at his lap. “Uh, well, I guess I’ve kind of being watching you. For a while now,” Adam continued quietly. “Uh…I mean…Uh…Trying to figure out what to get for you…” Adam trailed off, still refusing to look up.

“We only drew names last week,” I protested, still befuddled. And then, in the far reaches of my mind, something started to click. “You’ve been watching me?” I asked, staring intently at him and getting an answer in Adam’s overwhelming silence and the way he still refused to look up. “Am I the guy you have been interested in?” I asked, barely daring to hope. “The guy Liz wrote about in her note?”

Adam abruptly jumped up and started pacing back and forth, still refusing to look at me. I recognized the signs of nervous energy and figured I had to let him wear it off for a few minutes before he’d be ready to talk. After a few more laps around my living room, Adam turned, leaned back against the wall and sighed. The look he gave me seemed almost defeated, his shoulders slumped, and I had the impression that only the support of the wall he leaned against kept him on his feet.

“I didn’t mean for you to find out like this,” Adam finally murmured so quietly I could barely hear him. “You must think I’m a pathetic loser,” he continued, his face and eyes so very sad. “Yes, you are the guy Liz wrote about, the guy I’ve been watching and wanting,” Adam admitted. “I’ve been trying to work my courage up to ask you out for months. Leave it to me to let my big mouth fuck it up because I’m distracted by a new toy.”

I walked over to him slowly, not wanting to make him even more nervous. “I don’t think you fucked it up,” I whispered to him when I was just inches from him. I leaned in and just barely brushed my lips against his. Pulling back, I gave him a very gentle smile. “I don’t think you fucked it up at all,” I finished, leaning back in for another, more lingering kiss.

I felt Adam shiver slightly and then felt his hand tentatively reach up and rest against my chest as I continued to kiss him. His touch so gentle, so hesitant, that it sent shivers down my spine. I felt more than heard Adam groan as he pushed his lips firmly against mine with a need he barely contained. His taste intoxicated me and his scent shot sparks across my body that seemed to find their terminus in my loins. My need to touch him overwhelmed me and I reached up to run my hands across the exposed skin of his chest, my fingers roaming freely, pushing his robe open more and more as I explored his pecs.

After what seemed an eternity, and after every synapse of my brain was fried, Adam broke our fevered kiss, gasping as he came up for air. He shivered again, groaning slightly as he stared into my eyes. “Oh Fuck Me,” he breathed, his eyes dazed as his brain tried desperately to catch up. I couldn’t help laughing softly at his startled and inadvertent exclamation. “Oh shit!” Adam stuttered realizing his utterance could be taken as an invitation instead of just the expletive he had meant.

“I don’t mean I want you to fuck me,” Adam started, his eyes wide in shock. “I mean, uh, well I do want you to fuck me, but that’s not what I meant,” Adam rambled, his words falling over each other. “I mean, uh, I mean….I mean. FUCK!” Adam finally shouted in frustration.

I laughed gently at Adam, giving his lip another quick nipping kiss. “I know what you meant,” I assured him as I pulled back slightly. “It’s ok,” I continued. “This is just as overwhelming for me as it is you. And for the record, I want you to fuck me too,” I told him, grinning. I let my eyes roam down Adam’s body, and since my earlier exploration of his chest had pulled open his robe, I got to see the complete picture up close and personal. I looked back to his eyes and gave him a mischievous leer. “From the looks of things you’re kind of ready for that too.”

Adam glanced down at his body, only just then realizing his robe had completely opened putting him on full display and parts of him were standing at full attention. He blushed furiously and grabbed for his robe to pull it close, but I reached out and caught his hands to stop him. I had no intentions of giving up my extra present that easily. To distract him, I leaned in and kissed him, letting my teeth nibble on his sweet lips once again.

After a few minutes of exploring Adam’s mouth with my tongue, not to mention exploring his torso with my fingers, I pulled away getting an actual groan from Adam. I couldn’t help grinning to myself as I noticed he made no further attempt to pull his robe closed. Apparently his lust had fried his brain past the point of worrying about such trivial things.

Adam groaned again and his body shivered as he tried to gain control of his thoughts again. “Oh Fuck Gary,” Adam groaned more than spoke. He took a deep breath, and shook his head to clear his thoughts a little. “We better slow down,” he muttered with what seemed profound reluctance. “I don’t want to fuck this up, but I need to take this slow,” he said, his eyes pleading with me. “I don’t want to screw up the chance of a real relationship by jumping to sex too fast,” he continued, nearly forcing the words out over his protesting body. “Please tell me I didn’t just fuck up again,” he finished, pleading with me.

I felt myself smiling gently at him, realizing I wasn’t the only one who wanted a long term relationship in his life. “You didn’t just fuck up,” I assured him, giving him a gentle kiss. “And you’re right. We probably shouldn’t just screw each other silly on our first date. I think the rules say that is for the third date,” I continued in a light hearted voice making him grin. “Although I’m going to admit I’m going to have a serious case of blue balls now,” I finished making him laugh.

“Uh, yeah,” Adam agreed. “Me too. I’m probably going to have wet dreams now,” Adam said shame faced, his eyes still twinkling.

“It comes out in the wash,” I laughingly replied. “Trust me. I know this from many years of experience,” I continued making Adam laugh. “But speaking of dreams, I guess we should think about going to bed and getting some sleep. We’ve kept Rocky up past his bed time,” I joked getting another laugh from Adam and a growl from Rocky.

I stepped back from Adam, reluctantly I’ll admit, and I seemed to detect a little disappointment from him too. “Uh, I guess we should think about sleeping arrangements,” I said then, wondering how to phrase my next few sentences. “I can make up the couch if you want,” I continued. “Although I’ve got to tell you it’s not the most comfortable thing to sleep on. I always feel like I’ve gone thru some kind of torture when I fall asleep on it.”

I hesitated, unsure how to make my next statement not sound like some kind of proposition. “Uh, or you can sleep in my bed with me,” I stammered quickly. “My bed is plenty big enough. And I promise I’ll be good,” I assured him quickly, feeling my face flush. “I won’t try and feel you up or anything after you fall asleep,” I stupidly joked.

Adam chuckled at me and I felt even more awkward. I’ll concede I really wanted Adam to sleep with me, even if it was non-sexual. I could respect his wish to go slow – it made a lot of sense really. Frustrating, but still sensible. But I still wanted him to share my bed. To be able to feel his warmth next to me. To be able to smell his scent and know he was right there. To see his face first thing in the morning when I woke up. I felt like a total sap, but I still wanted it.

“Well, I dunno,” Adam drawled and I felt myself grinning stupidly as I realized half the battle was already won. “Wont Rocky be mad at me for taking his spot?” Adam asked grinning.

“No!” I assured Adam quickly, my blush deepening as I knew he was teasing me. “Rocky will jump into bed with me while I’m reading, but he always jumps down and curls up on his rug when I turn off the lights,” I explained. “I think he thinks the bed is too soft to sleep on. He doesn’t even sleep on it when I’m gone,” I finished.

“Hmmm,” Adam said thoughtfully and I felt my hopes rising. “Well, I guess we could try it, but I have some conditions,” he finished, a serious expression crossing his face.

“I promise I’ll be good,” I answered making him smile. I hoped I could keep my promise. Right now I knew I’d agree to almost anything and comply with any condition if it meant I’d get Adam to share my bed.

“Well, that’s good,” Adam answered playfully, “but that wasn’t my conditions. First, no hogging the covers,” he continued and I quickly nodded my agreement. “Second, I really need to sleep on the right side of the bed.” I didn’t find that a problem either and nodded again. “Finally, you have to sleep nude!” Adam laughed. “After all, you’ve got to see me naked; it’s only fair that I get to see you in all your glory too!”

“Well, I guess,” I answered, trying to sound reluctant but ended up grinning at him. “But don’t blame me if certain parts of me end up poking you every time we roll over!”

Adam laughed at me as we started walking towards my bedroom and I began shedding my clothes. I had reached my boxers by the time we got to my bed and Adam dutifully shed his robe and crawled under the covers. He grinned at me as I hesitated and then manfully pulled off my only remaining article of clothing. I paused a few seconds, letting him have a good look – after all he was right. Fair was fair. I felt an enormous gratification that Adam’s eyes seemed to get that lust filled look once again.

As I started to turn off the lights Adams voice stopped me. “Gary?” he asked and I paused, looking him curiously in the eye. “You know, if we counted fixing your computer the other day as a first date, and the office party as our second, then tonight would be our third date, and we could follow third date rules,” Adam stated, his look hopeful.

I couldn’t help grinning as I pounced on my very own Secret Santa.