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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Drew's Prompts - 2. Atop the Height

This is a part of the GA Newsletter Game. The game calls for writing a 300-500 word scene. So, be aware that this isn't a "complete" story.
My nouns are: height and grave.

Dean came stumbling out of the bedroom, fighting off an earsplitting headache and a rebellious stomach. He turned to his right, in the direction of his bathroom, in hopes of easing the pain wreaking havoc on his body. But, he was met by a wall, and Dean went crashing down with a curse.

A wall? No… that can’t be right.

He looked up, and sure enough there was a wall before him. A wall, when there should have been a hallway leading to the rest of his apartment.

Dean gave the wall a closer look, and saw that it was made of wooden paneling- something too rustic for his tastes. So, he wasn’t in his apartment. So then… where was he?

He got up quickly to take stock of his surroundings, but the sudden movement didn’t sit well with his headache, and he held his hands to his temple for a few moments, as he got on an even keel. When he did, Dean looked behind him, and saw he was in a hallway after all, but, unlike in his apartment, it led in the opposite direction. He began opening the doors on either side of the hall, the first was another bedroom, the second was a closet, and the third- jackpot!

Several minutes later, Dean was feeling better. He had emptied his stomach, and the ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet had been a godsend. He left the bathroom, and made his way to what he assumed would be the living area. Dean took it all in, the wood-paneled walls, the stone fireplace, and the bearskin rug on the floor- this was definitely not his modern apartment. The only thing that could be called modern in the room, was the flat screen TV mounted above the fireplace.

This may have not been his apartment, but… it looked familiar. He walked further into the room, towards the fireplace, and picked up one of the picture frames. It was of a smiling family, and in the middle of them all, was himself! And like that, he remembered where he was- his family’s summer cabin. He hadn’t been here in a long time, not since… no, he wouldn’t go there.

He had to get out of here.

With that in mind, Dean opened the front door and found himself before the Height. Dean stared, shocked, but then Dean remembered he had a grave to visit up there. He couldn’t take it, he closed the front door, and fell to his knees, overwhelmed by the memories washing over him. He had gotten shitfaced drunk last night, that is why he woke up with an unruly stomach and a piercing headache, he was hungover. And then the Height came back into his mind. It was his area’s highest cliff, and as a result, it was a popular place for hikers and climbers alike- he and his best friend included. His best friend... whose grave was atop the Height.

Copyright © 2017 Drew Espinosa; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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4 hours ago, Defiance19 said:

Drew, you did great. It was sad though.. It will be interesting to see where it goes if you do make it a longer piece.. Well done, son..

Ever since @Mikiesboy gave me a gentle nudge to write more on Dean, ideas have been floating around my head. :) 

 

Thanks Mama! :hug: 

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3 hours ago, Cia said:

Awww. I wasn't expecting the ending. I was thinking maybe a morning after/walk of shame vibe, but that's so much worse! Good twist, Drew.

Getting the Seal of Approval from one of GA's most gifted authors is an amazing feeling! :D Thank you, Cia!

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3 hours ago, LitLover said:

Well done, Drew. Sad scenes are tough to write, and you did very well with this.  You effectively showed us the pain your character felt and the self medicated he tried to use to ease it without actually 'telling' me. 

 

I think you should spread your wings with more of these short stories.  You do them quite well. 

I seriously did wonder if I would be able to pull off "showing" rather than "telling." So, your words mean a lot, Lit! :hug: 

 

As for more short stories... I'm definitely going to peruse the prompts, because this was fun! :D 

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3 hours ago, Headstall said:

Very interesting, Drew. I liked it. I like the abrupt realization at the end... well, the impact of it... it was quite sad, but effective... well done, buddy... cheers... Gary....

Gary, when it comes to writing, it's your approval I seek. :hug: Your writing is a standard I hold myself against, so to hear that you liked it, is an amazing feeling. :heart: 

 

Thanks Gary! :hug: 

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1 minute ago, Drew Espinosa said:

Gary, when it comes to writing, it's your approval I seek. :hug: Your writing is a standard I hold myself against, so to hear that you liked it, is an amazing feeling. :heart: 

 

Thanks Gary! :hug: 

:hug: 

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1 hour ago, ghanbrews said:

Awesome use of the words! I was really clever telling the story backwards and the big reveal took me by surprise too.

You gave me quite the challenge with the nouns you picked. :P But, I am glad I was able to create this scene with them, they really tested my ability as a writer. :) And to see the pay off in your comments is awesome! :D 

 

Thanks ghanbrews! :) 

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This is one heart breaking story ...  Would nothing ease Dean's pain ?  He was just drowning it in drink and that only worked for one night ...  

 

okay, now I need a drink to perk me up ... 

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Well, that was unexpected. And sad. First step of getting over something: get shit-faced. When sober, step two follows. Very good, Drew. 

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5 hours ago, hohochan657 said:

This is one heart breaking story ...  Would nothing ease Dean's pain ?  He was just drowning it in drink and that only worked for one night ...  

 

okay, now I need a drink to perk me up ... 

You nailed it perfectly, hoho. :)

 

Thank you hoho! :hug:

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2 hours ago, aditus said:

Well, that was unexpected. And sad. First step of getting over something: get shit-faced. When sober, step two follows. Very good, Drew. 

Getting shitfaced is sadly the only means of coping for many people, Dean included. As for step two... I am definitely exploring that in a possible follow up to this short. :)

 

Thank you, aditus!

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On 7/12/2017 at 3:24 PM, Albert1434 said:

This is very good cleanly written and seamless :hug:

I was so nervous when I posted this, I wasn't sure if I did a good job writing it. But, you and everyone else's reviews have gone a long way in erasing my worries. :hug: Thank you gorgeous.  :kiss: 

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