Castle Dark - 1. Castle Dark

Castle Dark

Good Intentions - Fall 2018 Theme

Monte got up from his desk and headed back to the break room for another cup of coffee. He shouldn’t have anymore this late in the afternoon, he checked his watch, no it was evening, but he could barely keep his eyes open. There were just two more pages to write, adding to the presentation, and he wanted to get those finished up.

After pouring more of the burnt, oily java into his mug, he headed back to his desk. It was eerie as he walked amongst the empty partitions and desks in the empty office. Sometimes this was his favorite part of the day, without another soul to bother him as he worked in the darkening space as night fell.

Turning around the corner of his own cubicle, he saw the light blinking on his office phone. It pierced the darkness of his little place in the room with an accusatory red blink. On and off, on and off, the bright red light demanded his attention, yet he couldn’t face it. Without thinking, Monte hit a button, turning off the light. The machine now believed the message had been listened to. It eased the stress and the pain, the ache to his heart.

Looking down at his own cell phone, he saw missed calls. He’d turned off the ringer two hours ago, and then the vibration notification an hour ago. More angry messages awaited to scold him and berate him. He took his phone and deleted each message without hearing the words. He knew what the words would say, and he just couldn’t take it any longer.

Bathed in the light of the monitor, Monte opened up his presentation and added a table. He carefully centered it just right, selected a special icon to supplement, and a title. He keyed it carefully, deliberately, and as slowly as he could. With each passing minute, he would avoid hearing the words that ripped his soul jaggedly and wore out his heart.

After another hour, Monte stood up and wriggled into his coat. By now, there would be silence instead of rancor.

***

Monte closed the door to their little house as quietly as he could. The cat meowed and greeted him warmly, the only thing that did in this place now. He hung up his jacket and reached down to stroke the orange-marmalade feline. The purring was loud, too loud, and Monte feared it would cause his silent house to explode with fury.

After giving Ginger some food, he opened the fridge. Leftover pot roast in a clear glass vessel was on the middle shelf; a little warmth still clung to it. He could see potatoes and carrots nestled in the vessel as well. A small, closed plastic container sitting atop was also not too cold. Monte pulled up a corner and sniffed. It was rich, unctuous gravy. He pulled out the pot roast and the gravy and made a plate. Dane could cook. There was no argument with that.

Putting it in the microwave, the man waited for the ding. He watched the kitchen door, afraid it would open and hoping it remained closed and quiet. After his food was warmed, he grabbed a fork, popped open a beer and headed into the living room.

The room was empty, though a lamp was still lit. A book sat next to one chair, its spine facing up. The cover depicted a romance; a rugged, dashing captain of an old wooden sailing ship and an apple-cheeked younger, smaller man dressed as a first mate. Both men were embracing and looking off into the distance.

Monte snorted and turned on the television. It was loud at first, and he frantically hit the remote, quieting the blaring noise to a whisper. Taking a bite of his food, he nervously watched the opening into the hallway. It remained dark and empty. After a few moments, he breathed a sigh of relief. That relief was fleeting as he kept watch on the empty doorway.

He ate his dinner and watched a little news, which was depressing as usual. Finally, he finished his beer, picked up his plate, and walked to the kitchen.

“Where have you been?”

The light above the sink was on, and it was shining down upon the scowling face of his husband. Dane’s mouth was set into a grimace, an expression that was almost pained.

“I had to work late,” Monte said. He took a step closer to the sink. The other man stepped to the side. It was only then he had the space to move past Dane. Monte approached the sink, keeping his distance, and rinsed off the plate. “I’m sorry.”

Dane sighed. It wasn’t one of anger or frustration, not that Monte would have been surprised. Instead, it was resigned, and almost complacent.

“I thought we were going to try.”

That simple statement was like a gut punch. Monte looked up and saw Dane was watching him carefully, sadly.

“I’m trying,” Monte said, bending down to place the plate in the dishwasher. “Like I said, I was at work finishing a presentation.”

“You didn’t answer your phone,” Dane said, his voice cracking with the effort. “Where were you really?”

“At work,” Monte barked. “Listen, I’m tired, so can we do this later? You do this all the time to me.”

Dane didn’t answer. Monte listened to the other man’s bare feet patter slowly as he retreated away from him. At one time, he’d have chased after him. He’d have begged for forgiveness for his callousness and his selfish behavior. They’d have fought, resolved, and made up by making love feverishly. So, why didn’t he chase him? What had changed? He knew the answer, and for a year it’d been getting worse.

What was the saying? That was then and this is now.

Monte felt his rapidly beating heart begin to slow, to calm.

He’d never get to sleep now, though. It was such a benign confrontation, yet it wounded him. Why couldn’t they just do what they had been doing? It had worked. They had worked, but now things were changing, or, had changed, for no good reason.

The look on Dane’s face, his sandy blond hair ruffled by sleep, and the accusing eyes had taken a toll. Monte grabbed another beer out of the fridge and returned to the living room. He channel-surfed until he found a movie, a comedy, and he watched it without seeing it.

All he could think about was their meeting for the first time.

“Monte, there’s a table requesting you,” Sam said. She was carrying a bus tub that was too big for her.

“Here. Let me help with that,” he said, taking it by the handles. A dirty plate teetering on top of a stack of other plates slid towards him, slipping red sauce on him. “Fucking A,” he swore.

“Shit,” his coworker said, picking up the plate and dumping the remnants of lasagna onto his shirt. “I swear I had it.”

“No, it would’ve spilled on you,” Monte said, laughing. They both chuckled at the foible.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” she said and grabbed a damp rag. Monte heaved the heavy load of dishes onto the stainless-steel counter. He looked down, and his chest was splotched with red, like he’d been shot or something.

“Here,” Sam said, rubbing most of the sauce off along with some strings of cheese. “It’s not too bad now.”
Monte saw it was more of a dull pink stain instead of a red blob. “I should’ve brought another shirt. This one looks awful.”

“Go on. You work at an Italian restaurant. We all have sauce stains on our shirts. No one will notice.”

Monte nodded and grabbing a small tray, headed for the kitchen doors. Pausing, he asked, “What table was asking for me?”

“B-10,” Sam answered without turning. “And they’re cute.”

Monte smiled and headed back into the dining room. He headed towards Sam’s section where the table was located and saw three guys seated. The man directly opposite him looked up, and he recognized his friend Tony immediately. A smile popped up on his face. Tony was new to his life, and the only guy who knew he was gay, at least openly.

The man to Tony’s left was tall; Monte could tell even with the guy seated. He towered over the other two. His eyes followed the line of Tony’s gaze and turned to see the waiter approach. They were kind and sort of gray-colored, with a hint of blue.

“Tony, what a surprise,” Monte said as he neared them. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I was hanging out with Matt and Dane and they wanted a bite to eat. This is Matt,” Tony said, pointing to the tall guy already looking at him. He was classically handsome, with an easy smile, and those amazing, twinkling eyes.

“And this is Dane,” Tony said, gesturing at the sandy-haired blond man with his back to the waiter. The man turned in his seat, and Monte almost gasped. The guy was gorgeous, model attractive with a chiseled face, dreamy blue eyes, and a dazzling smile.

“Nice to meet you,” the man said, holding out his hand. It was tan and lovely, smooth and glowing. Monte put the tray he was carrying under his arm and reached out. They touched. Monte’s heart began beating so hard, he could hear it. The blond’s smile faltered a bit and he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing in this throat.

“Good to meet you as well,” Monte said, or rather croaked. “Tony’s got great things to say about you.”

Dane scrunched his face up in the most adorable way, and snickered. “Tony is a flirt.”

“Dane was telling me about a trip he’s taking to California. He’s thinking of moving out there next year,” Tony said, and Monte felt his head get light. His stomach did flips. This beautiful, perfect man was thinking of leaving here, and by extension him.

“You can’t leave,” Monte said quickly. “I mean, why are you going?”

“Job prospect. The company I work for has a new position opening in the Bay Area, so I’m considering it.”

“It’s not for over a year,” the tall man said. “My brother’s just very excited about it.”

“I bet,” Monte said. “What can I get for you to drink?” He didn’t know what else to say. Tony smiled, and he ordered a beer as did Matt.

“I’ll have a gin and tonic,” Dane said.

“A man after my own heart,” Monte responded. “I mean—”

“Monte’s a gin guy too,” Tony said. All three men laughed, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was warm and genuine.

“Maybe we could have a drink together sometime and compare notes,” Dane said, his face red and shining.

“I’d like that,” Monte said. “I’ll get your drinks. I’ll be back and give you my number.”

“Perfect,” Dane said, beaming happily.

Monte woke up on the couch where he’d been dozing. The TV was playing an infomercial, and looking at his watch, he saw it was after four a.m.

He pulled off his shoes, struggled out of his pants, and pulled an afghan over him. Monte snuggled into the couch and fell back asleep. He lied to himself that he didn’t want to wake Dane. It was better for him to stay here and not disturb his husband. Deep down, though, he didn’t want to touch him.

The next morning, Monte awoke to the sounds of coffee percolating through the drip machine and the refrigerator door opening and closing. He sat up and winced at his tight back. The couch had done him no favors.

As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he thought about the memory of when he and Dane met. It warmed his heart, and he vowed that today he’d try harder. If they remembered the past and their shared history, perhaps it would bring something back for him. This feeling of dread and emptiness was so awful.

Monte stood up and walked to the kitchen. “Good morning,” he said as happily as he could.

Dane looked up from the bowl he was eating from and nodded. His eyes were downcast as was his mouth.

“Having a little breakfast?” Monte asked, grabbing a mug and filling it from the pot. “Do you have coffee already?”

“Yeah,” Dane answered quietly.

Monte watched as his husband slowly ate cereal, pointedly looking straight ahead, freezing him out.

“I was thinking about the day we met,” Monte said abruptly.

“When was that?” Dane asked without inflection.

“Last night when I fell asleep on the couch.”

“I noticed you weren’t in bed again this morning.”

Monte sighed and walked over to the table. He sat down and tried to catch Dane’s eye. His face was sullen and guarded.

“Do you remember what I said that first time at the restaurant?”

“You said, ‘You’re a man after my own heart,” Dane said. “Or something like that.”

“You do remember,” Monte said as upbeat as he could.

“I remember everything about that day,” Dane continued. “I remember the stain on your chest, on that threadbare white shirt. I can see you fidgeting and stuttering. It was so cute.” Dane said, looking up and smiling now. “Your hair had this strange curl in it, lying across your forehead. I wanted to brush it back into your bangs.”

Dane stopped talking and looked away from Monte pursing his lips.

Monte said, “I’m sorry about last night.”

“If you had to work, you had to work,” Dane said. “I’ve got plans this morning. I’ll be gone after I take a shower.”

“Did you want to do something together?” Monte asked. In his heart, he hoped Dane would say no. He was trying though. He really was, so he added, “We could go to a movie or something.”

“I’ve got plans with my mom. She’s buying a dress for a work event with my dad.” Dane paused and said, again without looking at Monte. “Maybe we could talk tonight.”

“We should,” Monte said. “I’ll make dinner.”

Dane nodded and finished his cereal.

When he got ready to leave a little later, Monte was at the computer. He wanted to give his husband a kiss, but didn’t really feel it. Dane walked out the door without saying a word.

***

His mother was trying on a dress when the thought came to him. Maybe it was her excited chatter to him about the congratulatory dinner his parents were attending. Perhaps it was a reminder their anniversary was coming up.

Sitting outside the changing rooms, he recalled his and Monte’s first date in public, around people. Monte and he had been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, and it was fantastic. The sex was amazing and they were so in sync with one another. It made him remember back when things were good.

There was a dance at the Unitarian and Universalist Church. The dances were held every three months on the third Friday. It was the only place in their small city for gays and lesbians to actually come together, play some music, and talk about life. Dane had been to several of these dances, it was also a bit of a meat market, not that he minded, because there was no gay bar in town. There was an adult bookstore situated on the edge of a small town twenty miles away and it was the only other venue to meet men, but that was too seedy and dangerous to consider.

It was so much easier to be gay in a bigger city, but he’d resisted the allure. Minneapolis was especially more accommodating, with a neighborhood called Loring Park adjacent to downtown. When he and friends had driven north from Winchester to ‘stretch their gay wings’, as Noel called it, they’d ended up partying in Loring. First, they’d go to one of the many gay bars on Hennepin: the Gay 90s, the Saloon, Cloud 9, and the old Brass Rail.

They’d danced and flirted. Dane’s oldest gay friend, Toby, was very hot, and he always had a few gentleman admirers crowding him. Noel would attract a couple of eager women to her side. Dane’s brother, Matt, was the life of the party, and would ingratiate himself into any group. Dane had always been a bit of a wallflower.

Inevitably, Toby would find a date. Matt would find a party, and Noel, her pick for the evening, and Dane would follow along off to that party. Those parties were almost always in an apartment near Loring Park. The parties were loud, drunken, and overtly sexual, but Dane always kept his distance, except once. He’d never been comfortable with those scenes, but it was a way for him to start getting to know who he was. What he liked and what he didn’t.

“What do you think?” his mom asked, interrupting his train of thought.

“It’s very nice,” Dane said, smiling at her. “It’s interesting, kind of over the top even for you, but attractive.”

“It’s a Betsey Johnson,” she said, making the flounce of the skirt swing back and forth. “Her clothes are made for dancing, you know.”

“I don’t know who Betsey Johnson is, but you’ll catch someone’s eye, hopefully Dad’s,” Dane said ruefully, hiding his smile from her gaze.

His mother leaned over and put her hands on his shoulders. “You should smile more often. I haven’t seen you smile in some time.”

Dane sighed, shrugging off her embrace. She stood, stepped back, and said, “So it’s that bad between you and Monte?”

Dane didn’t answer at first. He felt shame color his face and clog his throat. He nodded.

“Is he cheating on you?” she asked, sitting down carefully next to him.

Dane shook his head, then added, “I don’t think so.”

“Are you cheating on him?” she asked.

“Mother!” he barked. “How can you say that?”

“I’m just asking,” she said softly. “Are you fighting or what’s going on?”

“No. We don’t fight. We don’t really DO anything,” Dane answered, hearing the bitterness in his tone of voice. “The past few months have been so…empty, and we don’t even touch anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s hard.” His mother drew him into her arms. He let her hug him tightly, and in spite of himself, strangely enough, he felt better. Saying the words and admitting the problem had eased the pressure.

“I’m okay. We just need to do something together, like go on a vacation or a night out or something.”

His mom gave him one last hug and then got up, and smoothing the bouncy dress, went back into the fitting room. “You’ll figure it out. I know you love each other.”

As she left the room returning to the changing area, Dane considered her last comment. They did love each other. They had almost fifteen years together, and it had been special. It started out so well.

Dane’s thoughts returned to their first public outing; the dance at the church.

Monte was calling it their first date, though it wasn’t, not really. They’d been to movies and made dinner together. On the second Friday night, they’d tried their hand at homemade pizza, scorching the bottom black while the top was still raw. In the end, they ordered delivery.

“Nobody likes a soggy bottom!” they’d both laughed, giggling without control onto the floor. Then after the food arrived, they’d made love. It had been intense and satisfying. They had only dated a few weeks, and yet they were a couple, or were they?

They’d had intense, passionate expressions of their love for one another, yet they spent all their time alone, just the two of them. It felt like they were missing something.

Then, his friend Toby brought up the Unitarian gay dance. Were they going? Maybe it was time for Monte and Dane to ‘go public’ with their relationship. Dane knew it made Monte nervous because he was so newly out. But, in the end, they decided to go.

The dance had become a thing. A rite of passage, and it was something they needed to attend together. Toby called it their ‘wedding announcement’. He was joking. Sort of.

They’d never talked about it, but Dane and Monte both knew this was their first real date. It would be the first-time other people knew they were on a date, and not just two friends hanging out. Before then, it had been so secret, casual without any closeness. They sat across from one another and kept their hands to themselves. Guardedly, they looked at each other, not lingering too much, so no one else knew. The secrecy was both exciting and debilitating.

Monte picked Dane up at his front door that night. He almost grabbed him and kissed him right there in public, the man looked so good. They went to Monte’s beat up Chevette, climbed in, and drove to the other side of town to the church.

The parking lot was half-full, the outside lights weren’t on and it gave the impression of a place deserted and empty. One light beckoned though. It was a light over a side door, and in the darkening twilight of evening, it seemed to reach out and take hold of them, welcoming them.

They’d rushed to the door, eager to get inside. Dane knew Monte wanted the sanctuary of the church walls. Dane wanted to show off his new boyfriend. They’d glanced at each other and nodded.

As Dane opened the door, Madonna greeted them. Well, Madonna didn’t, but ‘Like a Virgin’ was blaring from down the hallway, a bleak space that smelled of industrial cleaner and a little musty. The walls had a few pictures of scientists and philosophers in gilded frames with photos that were faded from the light. As they walked down the hallway, the dance became more real.

The music may have been loud and with the addition of the twinkling lights and disco ball it may have been a party, but the crowd was seated quietly at tables and chairs around the periphery of the empty center of the room. There were hushed murmurs, but no happy voices or laughter. The mood was almost somber, given the clamor and enthusiasm of the next song; Dire Straits bellowed with, ‘Money for nothing, and your chicks for free’.

“Come on, I love this song,” they heard a woman’s voice say. They looked for seats and saw someone flagging them over. It was Toby, and sprawled next to him was the lanky form of Dane’s brother Matt.

A large, beefy woman dragged a smaller one in a dress into the middle of the room onto the dance floor. The older woman was wearing blue overalls and a pink blouse. The smaller one was wearing a flowery-patterned number that swirled as she bounced and giggled. They looked so free, brave, being the first to take the stage.

“Sheila, of course, has to make the first move,” Toby said, nodding toward the dancing women. “That’s her new conquest. Rumor has it, the chick has a husband and two kids.”

“So, are you banging the husband?” Matt asked, perking up at their approach.

“I wish,” Toby answered immediately and then laughed.

The tension was slowly leaking from the room as Sheila and her possibly married girl danced awkwardly together while they were still alone in the center of the room.

More people were talking now. Toby thrust a flask at Dane and Monte, and they both sipped. It was whiskey, cheap stuff, but it coursed through them.

“Is your friend Tony coming?” Matt asked, sitting up in the chair.

“No, he moved back to his mom’s house. I think he is having problem coping.” Monte answered, biting his lip. The four men nodded, each with their own thoughts of what Tony may be experiencing.

Dane moved closer and hugged him. Monte looked down into the sandy-blond man’s eyes. Dane blinked his encouragement, and Monte anxiously kissed him. Dane could feel Monte’s body was shaking in fear, as they embraced. Dane grasped his face in both hands, and kissed him deeply, and he felt his boyfriend relax for the first time.

Dane now saw courage in Monte’s eyes. It was then he realized Monte had been scared of this moment until now. He’d wanted to come to the dance, but he feared it. Monte’s face was now shining with both excitement and confidence.

“Let’s dance,” Monte said, leading Dane onto the floor as Wham!’s ‘Careless Whisper’ wafted through the air. Embracing closely, they danced and danced.

“Are you ready to go?” Dane’s mother asked. “You’re looking better.”

“I’m feeling better,” Dane answered. He stood, squared his shoulders, and they left.

When Dane arrived home, he heard the television playing in the background. Supper and a long talk with his mother had helped immensely. Steeling himself, he walked into the living room to see Monte sprawled on the couch, bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and a couple of empty beer bottles sitting next to it. He was riveted to a hospital scene on the screen.

“What’re you watching?” he asked, sitting in the arm chair.

“Some old Doogie Houser episode. God, how Neil Patrick Harris has changed since then.”

Monte didn’t sound terribly interested in it anyway. He sounded down again.

Dane decided it was now or never. “Can we talk about something?”

Monte looked up and yawned. “It’s been a long day. Can we do this later?”

“I think we need to talk,” Dane said stubbornly.

“Fine,” Monte said, walking over to the television and hitting the power button. “What do you want to talk about?”

Monte’s tone was combative, almost challenging him.

“Things between us are…have…well,” Dane stuttered. “I’m worried about us.”

Monte sighed resignedly. It was long and drawn out. “Couples go through hard times. My work is tough now, and you’re busy with things and…” He didn’t finish.

“Remember when we went to the dances at the Unitarian church back in Winchester?” Dane asked.

Monte mused for a moment, then nodded. “I remember them fondly.” His voice now had a reflective, soft quality to it, almost amused by the sudden memory. “What about them?”

“We should do something like that. Go on a date or a vacation.”

Monte looked a little excited for a moment, then he stood up, his face becoming hard and stony. “I can’t take off from work right now. Maybe we could plan something for next summer.”

“How about a date night? Just you and me and dinner?” Dane begged.

Monte’s face softened. “Sure. How about tomorrow night? It’s Sunday, but we could make an early evening out of it.”

“That’s perfect,” Dane said, finally taking a breath.

***

They decided on a walk in the park near the Southdale Mall and then dinner at Steak and Ale. While in the park, Dane and Monte had enjoyed the comfortable silences between comments about the birds and changing leaves. Monte had even stolen his partner’s cap and Dane chased him down. It made both men grin, at first, then Dane put his hat back on and they continued walking.

At the restaurant, they ate their salads quietly and sipped on their matching gin and tonics.

“I like that sweater on you. The gray sets off the blue in your eyes,” Dane said.

“Thanks,” Monte answered, fidgeting with his napkin. “You look nice too.”

The arrival of their meals gave them a diversion.

Monte took a bite of his chicken and after carefully chewing it, he said, “Do you remember when we were trying to buy the new couch?”

“Yeah,” Dane answered, puzzled. “You mean when you wanted that butt ugly cream colored one with the brass buttons on it, and I wanted the charming black-leather one.”

Monte grinned and continued, “Exactly. You were so stubborn about it, and we got into a screaming match. I was so pissed at you.”

“If I remember correctly, you finally gave in,” Dane said pointing his fork at Monte.

“No, we compromised. We got the brown leather,” Monte said. “Then the cat scratched the hell out of it.”

“God, I was so mad at you.”

Monte nodded and set down his fork. “I know. I was upset, but then we made up. Do you remember that night?”

Dane blushed a little. “I do. That was twelve years ago, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” Monte agreed.

Dane took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about us. I--,”

Monte blurted “This isn’t working, is it?”

Dane opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it. Remembering their fight, the passion of their battle, and the thrill of their making up, was like it had never happened. They were events he’d witnessed and, in a distant way, had felt them. But those feeling were gone, erased, numbed in a way that made them unreal.

Dane felt tears sliding down his cheeks.

“Don’t cry,” Monte said, reaching over and taking Dane’s hand. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”

“I know,” Dane said, sniffling. “I’m afraid you’re right.”

Monte grasped Dane’s hands in his. “I will always love you, but I don’t think—”

“You don’t need to say it,” Dane said, breaking the connection. He wiped his cheeks and eyes with the back of his hand. “I guess I feel the same way.” All the fight drained out of him. Is this what the end feels lik?

“What happened to us?” Dane said, after a few moments of waiting for Monte to react.

“I don’t know. You have your things, I have mine. We just stopped being Monte and Dane I think.”

Dane looked up and saw his partner was looking at him intensely, concentrating on just the right words, and they were the right words. “Do you think we could make it work again?”

Dane shook his head before Monte could answer, instead saying, “No. We couldn’t. I’m sorry, but I lost my appetite.”

Monte stood up and walked over to the wait station. A couple of minutes later, he returned with two Styrofoam containers, and started shoveling his food into one. “Let’s go home and figure this out.”

Dane nodded numbly. However, another feeling began from his core. It was a strange sense of calm.

“In a way, I feel a little better,” Monte said, now urging Dane’s steak and mashed potatoes into a second container. “I’m relieved it isn’t just me.”

“No, I think you’re right. Maybe we’ve both been holding this in.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” All the fight was gone from both of them.

***

As they drove home, Monte remembered that dumb couch and how much trouble it caused. Dane had been adamant, and passionate, and yet in the struggle, they were engaged.

Then, he thought about a year ago.

Dane was fixated on a new set of plates. They were very garish with gaily articulated, gold-painted branches of pears and apples. When Dane showed him the picture in the catalog, it annoyed him. It was just like Dane to choose the most grandma-like china he could find.

After Dane handed him the catalog, Monte looked through and saw a nice, clean set of dishes with broad blue and yellow lines on a cream-colored base. He pointed them out to Dane.

Dane looked at the pattern and his face scrunched up. The look of disgust on his face was so powerful, Monte was taken aback. He quietly agreed to the garish china Dane favored. Proudly, his husband lined the buffet with the matching set. Every day, Monte walked past that cabinet and recoiled.

Every time he looked at those plates, it bothered him.

But he said nothing.

Looking over at Dane as they approached their house, he wanted to say something. He wanted to apologize or get angry, or something.

Dane sighed, and the sound of it annoyed him.

Monte parked the car, and they went inside without another word.