Dead Ringer - 1. Dead Ringer

“Thanks for doing this, Trev. You’re my best friend and the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have, so yes, standing up for me means everything.”

Trevor reached across the table and held his friend’s hand. He knew what Cameron was going through and how close he had come to losing the woman he was planning to ask to be his wife.

“You know Jen loves you, Cam. She worked through your issues together and she’s still here. She’ll say yes, and you will live happily ever after.”

“I know that, but it’s good to hear. Especially from someone who knows me the way you do.”

Their server came to the table before Trevor could say anything else and leaned in.

“I don’t want to alarm you, and I can’t be sure, but I think that guy at the bar is taking pictures or recording you.” She inclined her head to the left before topping off their water. “We are pretty gay-friendly here, but there’s always an asshole looking for trouble. Just be alert.”

Cameron looked up at her in confusion, until Trevor squeezed the hand he still held in his. Then Cam’s confusion cleared.

“Oh, we...this isn’t....” Then he shut up because he and Trevor had never had boundary issues before, and he would be damned if he felt bad about being shown affection by his friend. “Okay, thanks.”

“Weird, right? This is New York. I still forget this shit happens.” Trevor shook his head.

The men went back to their lunch, talking and laughing animatedly, forgetting about the stranger supposedly taking snapshots of them.

Moments later, a shadow fell across their table, and Cam looked up sharply. An irritated Trevor asked calmly, “Can we help you, man?”

Ignoring Trevor, the guy stepped closer to Cam and snarled. “How could you?” Then he tipped the water glass, causing Cam to jump to his feet. He left as quickly as he came, sending a dirty look Trevor’s way.

“Are you okay?” Their concerned server had rushed over.

“Yeah, thanks. Crazy, shitty, people.”

“Let’s get the check, give the jerk a few minutes to be gone, and get the hell out of here.”

They left the restaurant and walked around the city for a while before it was time for Cameron to catch the train home.

“Enjoy your vacation. I’ll see you when you get back with your fiancée.” Trevor pulled Cameron to him, and they hugged goodbye. Neither was aware of the man with the phone focused on them.

◊◊◊◊

Two days later, an excited Cameron and Jen threaded through a busy JFK airport. After suffering the long TSA lines, they finally sat at their gate waiting to board the four-hour flight to St. Lucia.

“Oh, man! I can’t believe I ran into you here!” A young man with a deep voice halted in front of Cameron and Jen, almost tripping over a carry-on. “Y’all’s concert was dope, and dude, your guitar skills. Envy, man, envy.”

Cam stood quickly, and put a hand on the shorter guy’s shoulder to stem his fluid arm movements and hopefully stop his loud chatter. Looking around, he was embarrassed at how many people were paying attention, most of whom seemed amused as they looked on.

“Look.” Cameron stared the younger man down. “I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m not them. You got me mixed up with someone else.”

“Ohh,” the kid drawled, and gave Cameron a conspiratorial wink. “I get it; say no more.” He mimed zipping his lips before adding “I never saw you either, or your girlfriend,” making air quotes for girlfriend, and nodding to Jen, who was falling over herself, giggling.

“Can I have a selfie for my Instagram though? No one’s gonna believe this.”

Before Cameron could form any response, the kid had him grabbed around the shoulders and manipulated into a pic. With an effusive thanks, he fast-walked through the crowd, with a fist pump to the air.

“What just happened?”

“I don’t know,” said Jen, curling into her boyfriend. “But he’s going to be so disappointed when he realizes you’re not his guitar idol or really, any idol.” She dissolved into laughter again.

“Hey,” said Cameron, with pretended affront.

“Oh, baby, you’re my idol. You planned this whole romantic trip, and when we get to the resort, I plan on worshiping you.”

“Shut up.” Cameron laughed, his cheeks pinking just a bit at the thought.

◊◊◊◊

Beep! Aus, it’s Matt. Things have been weird; your stalker-ex is stirring up trouble. He called my work asking, and I quote, how it feels now that the not-so-great, talentless, Austin Conley dropped me. He was hinting that you were out with someone that was so obviously not your type; that you might have actually done us both a favour by dumping our asses. I won’t add all the nasty shit he said either. Aus, he thinks you’re in NY and either cheating on me or plan to dump me. I didn’t tell him I knew where you were, I just hung up, but I hate that he’s back in our lives again. Why? I really thought when he’d moved to NY he’d stay gone. What could have possibly set him off again.

---

Beep! Babe, now I know for sure he’s up to no good. He called again taunting me about not being good enough for you. Then he said that obviously you had a problem with commitment. Said he was going to take care of you for me. He really believes you left me. It’s crazy. He’s crazy.

---

Beep! It has been a long week. I miss you. Sucks that you, Chloe and Eric decide to go away at the same time. Sorry. I’m losing my shit. Your stalker ex keeps calling. I called Dale and told him what was going on. This is Matt, by the way…still remember me?

---

Beep! Matt again. Dale said you’re due to check in. He’s going to make some calls so the police can check on your ex and swing by the house to check on me. I’m only worried because your ex is a loose cannon and he was angry at me when we got together, and now he thinks we should join forces against you. I just don’t know how big a threat he is yet.

◊◊◊◊

Matt and Eric texted.

Eric: Why did Austin say he had to leave town again?

Matt: Why ask? I’m feeling sort of petty about him leaving like that, especially now.

Eric: Sorry, it’s important. What do you mean especailly now?

Matt: They had to focus on the work ahead of them. They need to be isolated. It’s what they always do when they work on music for a new album. Its more important now because they have a great label and want to headline their own tour. I get it; I’m not really mad.

Matt: Remember his lunatic stalker-ex? I think he’s trying to cause trouble for us. Again!

Matt: Its been a week. He’ll check in in a day or so. I miss him like crazy. What’s going on.

Eric: He’s here. Austin. I’m looking at him from the bar.

Eric: What kind of trouble?

Matt: lol. How drunk are you? I trust you with my sister. You’re supposed to be the responsible one. Explain ‘here,’ though you know you’re in St.Lucia, right? lol

Click! Snap! Send. Snap! Send.

Eric: So sorry, Matt. I can’t be that drunk.

Matt: This can’t be real?

Eric: They’re two tables away

Matt: But… It can’t be. He’s kissing a woman, Eric! How? None of this makes sense. First his ex, now this? Is everyone off their rocker?

Eric: The pic speaks for itself. I never thought he would do this to you. Did u know he was bi?

Matt: He’s not. He didn’t do anything. This is stupid. Where’s Chloe. Did she see him? Go talk to him.

Eric: She did now. Fuuck. I’ll call you.

---

“You, dirty, two-timing, cheating, son of a bitch!”

That was all the warning Cameron had before a pitcher of ice-cold beer was dumped in his lap. It was followed by a stinging slap to his cheek.

“Chloe! Chloe, stop.”

The woman – Chloe – was being grabbed around the waist and pulled by a rather tall, broad-shouldered and scary looking man, one whom Cameron had never before seen is his life. He chanced a look over at Jennifer, and she wore the same expression of stunned shock as he did.

The man turned to Cameron, but instead of an apology or explanation for Chloe’s outlandish behavior, he growled.

“You’re lucky she got to you first, you bastard!” With that, he pulled the reluctant woman through the bar’s exit, onto the dark street.

“Who the hell was that?” Jennifer asked quietly.

“Damned if I know.”

“She seemed pretty upset for someone you don’t know.”

Cam looked up at Jen, pausing from mopping beer off of his soaked shirt. “She did,” he agreed slowly, “but I don’t know her, or the guy she was with, and they were quite obviously drunk.” Jen’s eyes narrowed. “C’mon, Jen.”

“She called you a cheater, Cam. Not like it would be the first time.”

“Seriously. I thought we worked through that. It was one time, Jen. One time! Two years ago. And it’s not cheating if we were broken up.”

“For three weeks.” Jen fired back. It was an old argument. “I don’t know, Cam. It just seems strange. “

“Of course it is! Not everday perfect strangers walk up to me and attack me without provocation, or take my picture for no reason; call me names.” He waved his hand for a waiter, and noticed practically the whole bar, populated with locals, was focused on him. Jennifer stood. “Jen,” he pleaded.

“I’m not mad, Cam. I promise. I just said yes to being your wife, so you have to know I believe you.” She smiled. “I just want to find that couple, see who they think you are. Maybe we can clear up this whole freaky week you’ve been having. Be right back.”

Cameron threw the napkin on the table right as the waitress arrived.

“Dis a small world we ah live in, boy. Cyah hide what we do for nuthin. Bad deeds, dem always come to light.”

“Oh, my God!” Cameron pushed a hand through his hair and rubbed at his neck. “Would you believe me if I said I have no idea who these people were? I am a quiet guy. I live a quiet, boring life in the suburbs of somewhere you’ve never heard of.”

The waitress folded her hands over her madras apron, twisted her mouth and stared at Cameron disbelievingly.

“I swear everyone has lost their shit.” He gestured at the table. “Sorry for the mess. Just bring me the check, please. Thank you.”

“Is always de quiet ones.” Hips swaying, she walked away chuckling.

Cameron shook his head and hoped Jen had managed to catch up with the couple.

◊◊◊◊

Beep! Matt, it’s Eric and Chloe again. You’re not picking up. Please call us back. Your sister is freaking out,bro.

---

Beep! Matt, I’m sorry Austin is such an asshole. Are you okay? Call me, please.

---

Beep! Matt, It’s Chloe. Okay, I’m sorry I slapped him, but you know how I get. Also, I might have had a little too much to drink, but I’m not sorry I dumped the beer in his lap. Call me, Matt. I need to know you’re okay. I love you.

---

Beep! Matt, buddy, we switched our flight to tomorrow. We’re coming home.

◊◊◊◊

Matt tried to be sorry that his sister and his best friend were cutting their trip short for him, but he wasn’t. After listening to their messages, he had tried calling them back when he processed what he had learnt, but it was too late. They would come straight to Matt’s place anyway, so he’d deal with it then. He had been so confused before, and was now beating himself up for even thinking that Austin’s ex might be telling the truth. This was so far from the Austin he knew, but then Eric sent those pictures and he’d faltered. The picture he was looking at looked like Austin, same hair, same grin, but it wasn’t Austin. Matt had been in contact with the band manager, and Dale took him seriously when it came to Austin’s ex. He had made sure that Matt was protected and was checking up on him. Those calls, and the possible threats, were real. But what he was seeing, and what he knew for sure were at odds with each other. It was only when Matt enlargened the first pic Eric sent of Austin and a woman kissing, did he realise how wrong they were.

◊◊◊◊

Beep! Austin? Where are you? You need to answer your phone or respond to texts.

---

Beep! Austin, this is Dale, your fucking manager. What the fuck, dude? Now is not the time for you guys to play games. It’s a full day past check in. TMZ is reporting all this crap, and you don’t pick up the phone? Call me. Today.

---

Beep! Aus, it’s Matt. You should really call Dale. There’s been a horrible mix-up. And babe, call me too, okay.

◊◊◊◊

“Yo, Austin, this is the best idea you had in a while. We needed this.”

Cheers of agreement and laughter sounded as the group of men crowded into the cabin they had rented.

“Here’s another one for you.” Austin opened up the drawer that held their cell phones, sought his out, and waved it at the group before powering it on. “I’ll check in with Dale. Somebody order some food, then we’ll watch some cheesey movie and get back to writing and practice tomor…. Whoa, whoa!”

Heads turned in Austin’s direction.

“What’s up with Dale? There’s all these texts, and voicemails. We’re only late a day.”

Sure enough, endles chimes of message alerts filled the room as the three other men turned their phones on.

Austin scrolled through his text messages first, his horror growing by degrees as he read them.

“Holy shit, Austin. You horndog.” Craig had opened up the laptop and was scrolling through TMZ’s site. “They’re saying you and Matt broke up, and calling you a serial dater, breaking the hearts of men and women.” He turned the laptop so Austin could see. “That’s you, holding hands with and then loving up on a guy, but like you’re here so you can’t be there. That’s at an airport looks like; and it’s a woman you’re kissing this time.” He tlited his head to the side. “Shit, she’s hot.”

“Really, Craig! Somebody else call Dale. I have to call Matt.”

“On it!”

Austin walked outside with the phone to his ear, his other hand rubbing a random spot over his chest. “Pick up, pick up, pick up.”

“Aus?”

“Matt, babe? Listen, okay? It’s like the world flipped and this really insane thing happened. There’s a photo…photos of me that TMZ got somehow, only, its not me. It had to be photoshopped or the guy just really looked like me. But it’s not me. I’m really here with the guys, working. No, actually we took a break yesterday and today to go hiking and start clean. But I would never cheat on you. I told you I was all in. I am. That’s not me. Matt? Say something.”

“Aus, if you slowed down for a second, you would have heard me say, I know. I know that’s not you in those pics.”

“You do? Did you see them? You sure?” Austin felt like he could breathe again, but just barely.

“Well, when Eric sent me his pics, I was taken back for a second. But unless you’ve suddenly become a fan of ink, there’s a treble clef on the back of your neck that wasn’t there before. Easy enough to miss.”

“What? No. Still no tats. And what do you mean about Eric? He leaked pics to TMZ, why?”

“He swears he didn’t send anyone but me pics. But says he really thought it was you at that bar in St. Lucia. He and Chloe are so embarassed. And Aus, get this, Chloe slapped this poor guy, and threw beer in his lap.”

Austin snorted. “That’s funny, she thought she was defending you from me. Thank you for not believing it though, we’ve not been together long, so I know it couldn’t have been easy.”

“Aus, Did you talk to Dale or see my texts about the other thing?”

“No, I called you first after seeing those pics. What other thing?”

“Well, your ex, he started calling me again, because he thought he saw you with another guy. We think that’s where TMZ got that photo, and maybe you, well, not you, got followed.”

“What? So there really is another guy? Are you okay? I’m so sorry Matt.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m okay, now. At least we know your obsessed ex is not coming after me like before. There really is someone out there who looks enough like you to set him off again. You should talk to Dale, he’s been handling it.”

Austin groaned. “How is this happening now? Matt, I really wish I was there. Can I call you back later, after I talk to Dale?

◊◊◊◊

“Jen! Is your TV on? Turn on your TV.”

“Mom, what is going on?”

“Just put your TV on ENews. You’re not going to believe it. You know how we thought Cameron was maybe someone’s double; you weren’t wrong. That guy is famous and on TV. Hurry.”

Jen grabbed the remote and changed the channel while Cameron protested. “Wait,” she said to him, before talking into the phone. “I’ll call you back, Mom.”

“Most of you must have heard about the mix-up involving the lead guitarist and songwriter for Velvet Crush. If you haven’t, here’s a rundown. Austin Conley and three members of his band went undergound a little over a month ago to write and make more great music for their fans. Then surfaced a viral video and photographs alledgedly of Austin, kissing and cuddling with an unknown woman at an airport, and then at a restaurant hugging and holding hands with a man who was not his boyfriend, Matt Crane. Then came the video of Matt’s sister and her husband, supposedly letting it loose on Austin at a bar on the tropical island of St. Lucia. We now know it was not, in fact, Austin in those snapshots or on vacation. They look alike though, and can you imagine what he must have felt like? We all want to know, and the real Austin wants to know too. There’s more to the story, but I’ll let him tell it. Here he is.”

Jen paused the broadcast. With the pitures frozen on the screen, she slowly turned to Cameron.

“He really does look like you. Exactly like you.” Jen spoke softly into the silence. “Cam, at the airport, remember that guy who came up to you? It’s so weird now, that someone actually thought you were this guitarist. They thought you were this Austin guy. Never even heard of him before. That also explains why that girl acted how she did.”

“That was me and Trev at lunch the day I told him was going to take you away and propose. I asked him to be my best man.” Cam’s hand found a spot on his chest and he rubbed at it in soothing circles as he spoke. “There was this guy who was mad we were holding hands, but I forgot about that. Shit.”

Reaching for his fingers, Jen gave a tight squeeze and pressed play.

“Hey, America, it’s Austin Conley. A lot of you won’t know me unless you follow our music. But everything Lara just said about the crazy mix-up is true. Crazier still, I think that guy in the photo and I are brothers. Yeah, I would have brushed it off like I’m sure he did, but my mom saw the pics, and honestly, it was like looking into a mirror, so we did some digging. I always knew I was adopted, but I didn’t know I was a twin. So, if anyone knows him, or recognises him, I’d really like it if you could tell him to contact me. Send a DM. I’m on Twitter, Instagram @Austin Conley, @Velvet Crush. Oh,we posted this same message on our social media too. And buddy, if you’re watching, by some miracle, I’m really sorry about the things that happened to you. I hope it didn’t mess up your life too much, but I’m not sorry I got to know about you. You live in New York, I’m in LA and there was probably never a chance we would see each other or even meet. I’m not nearly famous enough for the pap to be following me, but I’m glad they got it wrong this time. Contact me…you know…if that’s something you want. That’s it…. Uh, thanks.”

“Holy shit, Jen. This is surreal.”

Jennifer knowingly looked to her fiancé, who was sittng very still on the couch. “Hon? What are you thinking?”

“It has to be true, doesn’t it? He looks exactly like me. His hair, his eyes, his hands, his frikkin face, all mine. It would explain so much. Mom always said I looked like her father’s family, but never more than that. I knew, Jen. I knew I didn’t look like my family the way my cousins or their kids did. He…he could really be my brother.” Cameron choked on a sob, and let Jennifer soothe him for a time.

When he sat back up, he ran his hand through his hair, and settled it at his neck.

“Oh, my God, Cam. He does that too.”

“Does what?”

“That thing you do when you’re nervous or upset. You mess up your hair and grab your neck. Or rub at your chest. He did that too. ”

Cameron could not help it; he started to laugh, but there was no mirth in it.

“Oh, Cam. Honey, are you having a breakdown?”

Cameron sobered just as quickly. “I have to call Dad. He’ll tell me if this is true.”

Ten months later…

Austin stood in his kitchen watching his houseguests. His twin brother was chatting animatedly with Austin’s boyfriend, Matt, and Matt’s sister Chloe. Eric and Cam’s fiancée Jen were locked in a serious talk of some sort. It was the funniest re-introduction after the fiasco in the Caribbean, but all was forgiven and Chloe and Eric, Jen and Cam, all got along. Both sets of parents, and Austin’s bandmates, manager and Cameron’s best friend were also present.

Austin and Cam had long talks over the phone while they waited for DNA results to tell them what they already knew to be true. They’d talked frequently via skype before Austin flew to New York to meet Cam. Seeing one another in person had each man feeling like they were having an out of body experience. They were duplicates, and they fit together as if they’d known each other all their lives. After that initial meeting, Cam would spend his school break vacations in LA getting to know Austin and his family. Cam was a music teacher, so their shared love of music drew them closer. As much as the two looked alike, and had the a lot of the same mannerisms, the fun was in discovering all the ways in which they were dissimilar. That included arguments over food choices, Marvel versus DC, best rock bands, and on and on it went. Austin was surprisingly more reserved than Cameron, but the brothers were ecstatic with each revelation.

The mood was light and happy; laughter and the murmur of easy chatter filled the room. The aromatic mix of flavorsome food sent a pleasant and warm feeling through Austin. Hard to think less than a year ago he had no idea Cam exsisted, and now Austin could not imagine life without his brother and their extended family.

“Gather ‘round, people!” Dale yelled across the room. “Its about to start.”

The crowd shuffled into the large den and found seats. Austin and Cam stood next to each other, with Matt and Jen at their sides. The television was on.

“It will never not be weird, seeing the two of you side by side,” Dale commented. The group nodded in agreement as Austin and Cam grinned identical smiles at each other.

“Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a memorable, heartwarming, and incredible story of identical twins separated at birth, adopted into different families, and the bizarre, accidental way they found each other. One of the brothers you may know as the lead guitarist of the indie rock band Velvet Crush, Austin Conley. The other is a high school music teacher, Cameron Keaton. And it all started when Cameron got his photo snapped….”