Before the Fall - 3. Part Three: The Fall

It had rained again all day, and the following evening found them no wiser than the one before. Epheriel was beginning to wonder if Jair was right and the danger truly had passed. Perhaps whomever it was had seen Jair fight Joseph and that had changed something in them.

The angel had spent all day thinking about what Azazel had said. About how it was more powerful than it thought. How it could do everything the seraphim could do. It was not sure it believed it. But if it were true . . . Did that mean it could retain the shape of a man for longer? It longed to try, and when they returned to the house that night, after the evening’s meal with one of Jair’s childhood friends and his family, it turned to Jair.

‘My heart . . . I would like to try something, if you do not mind.’

‘I don’t mind at all, whatever it may be.’ Jair smiled at his angel and that smile caused Epheriel’s form to brighten for a moment. It was as if its lover’s smile gave it strength.

It closed its eyes and focused, willing its shape into that of a man. It felt itself solidify, and before it could open its eyes, Jair’s arms were around it. Epheriel’s breath hitched upon feeling Jair’s soft lips and warm breath, and he opened his eyes again, a man now.

Jair pressed his lips to Epheriel’s, pulled him close, wished that he would never have to let go. They had to come up for air at some point, however, and he took the opportunity to take in the creature before him. He was altogether pale. Although he was now a man, Epheriel still appeared angelic. Mortal men did not look like this. ‘You are so lovely,’ Jair murmured. ‘Both in your true form and like this.’

Epheriel shook his head and smiled. ‘I am nothing compared to you. I have never seen a mortal so beautiful. Your light . . . It cannot be adequately described, but I can see your kindness, your goodness, your love.’

‘Believe me, my beloved, when I say I’ve never loved anyone or anything as I love you.’

The angel shivered in Jair’s arms. ‘I have never loved before.’ His pale eyes met Jair’s dark ones. ‘Please . . . will you remove your clothes? I want . . .’ It was strange to say it. To say that he wanted something. He had never wanted anything before Jair. ‘I want to feel your skin.’

Jair reluctantly stepped back so he could remove his shawl, skirt, and loincloth. Epheriel was already naked. His body was entirely that of a man, his anatomy fully functional. Jair’s face felt warm and he licked his lips as he took in Epheriel’s beautiful, slender form. He let out a shuddering breath.

As soon as his clothing was gone, he pulled Epheriel into his arms again and kissed him with such fervour that it took the angel’s breath away. Jair’s skin was warm, his breath so hot, and Epheriel wanted he knew not what.

‘How long can you stay?’ said Jair breathlessly. ‘How long can you stay like this?’

‘I think . . . for a while. I cannot be sure but . . . long enough. Long enough to . . .’ Epheriel licked his lips. ‘I wish to lie with you. Please, teach me how to love you with this body.’

Jair groaned softly. He kissed Epheriel’s shoulder, then scraped his teeth over the pale flesh. ‘Are you sure?’

‘No. I may . . . I may not be able to hold this form but I think that I—’

‘No, I mean . . . are you sure that you want to . . . to do these things with me?’

‘Oh, yes!’ said Epheriel emphatically. ‘Please, understand me . . . I am not accustomed to wanting things. I have never wanted anything before. But I know that I want this. I want you, Jair. In whatever way you will have me.’

‘Then I will make love to you, dearest beloved Epheriel.’ Jair took the angel’s hand. ‘Come. Lie down with me.’

They lay on the bed, and Jair used his hands and his mouth to prepare his lover. It had been a long time. Not since Malachai had he been with another man. With anyone. But the body remembers. And Epheriel responded just as he had hoped he would: with quiet gasps and whimpers, and whispered declarations of love.

And then, with the aid of lamp oil, Jair was finally inside Epheriel. The angel had never felt pain before, but nor had he ever felt physical pleasure, and the latter quickly drowned out the former. As Jair moved in him, Epheriel was awash with sensation. His human heart pounded in his chest. His body ached for release while all at once longing for this to continue. And he felt love. Felt Jair’s love, no longer abstract but so real; made manifest, here in their coupling—given form, just like Epheriel.

Jair looked down into Epheriel’s beautiful face. His eyes were closed, his lips gently parted, and there was sweat upon his brow. Human in every way, yet still otherworldly. Having him like this, the way he never thought he would, brought tears to Jair’s eyes. He closed them, lowering his head and placing a kiss on Epheriel’s chest. Epheriel put his arms around him, ran his fingers through dark locks, then clenched his fist and groaned as Jair thrust into him.

It was like nothing he had experienced. His human body felt like it was on fire, burning with so much pleasure he barely knew what to do with himself. He clung on to his lover for dear life as the flame grew brighter and hotter, and then he crested and, like a shooting star, fell to earth.

Jair kept on going for a while longer before he too met his end, capturing Epheriel’s lips and kissing him deeply. Then he collapsed on Epheriel’s chest, still inside him, and murmured words of love and affection and praise.

After a few moments, Jair composed himself and raised himself up on his elbows. He looked lovingly down into Epheriel’s face, still human beneath him. ‘How do you feel?’

Epheriel smiled. ‘I . . . cannot describe it. I feel . . .’ He hesitated. Then he put his hand on Jair’s hairy chest, felt his heart beat against his palm. He sighed. ‘I feel alive.’

Jair’s expression turned to one of concern. ‘And I didn’t hurt you, did I?’

The angel shook his head. ‘Not at all. Nothing has ever given me more pleasure.’

Smiling, Jair kissed Epheriel again. ‘I’m glad.’

At last, he rolled off his lover. The fire had died down to embers and the house was not as warm as it had been. Now that the sweat was drying on his skin, Epheriel began to feel cold. So, it seemed, did Jair, who pulled the furs over them both and took the angel into his arms. ‘You’ve lasted a long time,’ he murmured.

Epheriel nodded, amazed at himself. ‘Yes. I am not certain how. But I feel as though I could hold this form for far longer than this now. Something has . . . changed.’ He nuzzled Jair’s chest.

‘Perhaps your friend was right. Perhaps you are more powerful than you thought.’ Jair kissed Epheriel’s white hair. ‘Maybe all angels are created equal, and your only limitations are those you’ve placed upon yourselves.’

Epheriel nodded. ‘Perhaps . . .’ He felt suddenly fatigued. Drowsy. This was normal, he supposed, after lovemaking. How human this body was. He felt his eyelids begin to droop.

Jair noticed this and smiled. ‘Can you last long enough to sleep in my arms tonight, beloved?’

Epheriel raised himself up and looked down at the man he loved with a smile. ‘If I can, then I will.’ He leant down and they kissed. His body reacted to that kiss and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to repeat everything they had just done. But he was too tired, and after a few moments he lay back down. Jair directed him to roll over so his back was to Jair’s chest.

‘Goodnight, Epheriel,’ he whispered, and kissed the back of his lover’s neck. His skin was hot now, warmed by their lovemaking.

Half asleep already, Epheriel practically mewled. ‘Mm . . . Goodnight, Jair. My heart.’

Ω

Epheriel woke just after dawn, surprised to still find himself a man. Jair stirred at the same time he did. It was already light outside. Normally, Jair would already be awake and out of the house by now, but he found he didn’t care much. Tugging at Epheriel’s shoulder, he pulled him over onto his back and, leaning over him, kissed him softly. It only stayed soft for a moment as they both woke properly and their bodies woke with them, more than ready to continue where they had left off the night before.

After a while, Jair pulled back and smiled down at Epheriel. ‘Good morning.’

Epheriel returned the smile. ‘Good morning,’ he replied. ‘What a wonderful way to wake up—’ Suddenly, he felt it. The thought. It was powerful, and it was close. Epheriel shuddered and closed his eyes.

‘Epheriel? Are you all right?’

‘He is here,’ Epheriel managed. ‘He is nearby. The person who hates you . . . oh, such hatred!’ A tear ran down Epheriel’s cheek. ‘How can a person harbour so much hate?’

Jair immediately stood up and began to dress. ‘Then now is our chance to find him.’

But they did not have to. A loud, angry voice shouted from outside, ‘Jair! Come out!’

Jair blinked. It was a voice he knew well. ‘Malachai?’

Epheriel dropped its human shape, an angel once more and almost entirely hidden in the morning light. ‘The bronzesmith?’

Its lover nodded and tied on his belt. Sliding his knife into it, he pulled aside the curtain and stepped out of the house into the morning. ‘Here I am,’ he said, spreading his arms wide.

The Elder came out of his own house. ‘What is this racket so early in the morning?’ he asked gruffly. ‘Malachai, why are you shouting?’

‘It’s him!’ Malachai pointed a shaking finger at Jair. ‘He’s an abomination. He lies with other men!’

More people had now assembled, and they all turned to Jair, surprise etched on their features. Epheriel watched Malachai instead. He was a broad man—not very tall but clearly strong—with black hair to his shoulders, black eyes, and a dark, bearded face. The angel reached out to feel and was hit by a whirl of emotions and thoughts. Anger, disgust, hatred, but also shame, fear, and lust. It was clear that Malachai coveted Jair, and that it terrified him. Epheriel caught glimpses of memories from his boyhood, of time spent with Jair. Of their lovemaking.

The Elder spoke to Malachai. ‘What are you saying? What is this nonsense?’

‘It’s true!’ Malachai insisted. ‘I saw him, just now, not five minutes ago, with a pale stranger.’

‘What stranger? We have seen no one,’ said Shimon, who had appeared a few moments before.

‘They were in his house!’ Malachai’s voice carried an edge of desperation. ‘I saw them through the window.’

One of the other villagers, who stood near Jair’s house, looked inside. He shook his head. ‘Well, there’s no one there now.’

‘I saw them!’ Malachai growled. ‘And . . . and I know.’

‘What do you know?’ asked the Elder.

‘I know it’s true because when we were boys he raped me!’

Jair blinked. For a moment, the assembled crowd grew silent, and now all eyes were on Jair once more. He shook his head slowly. ‘That isn’t what happened, Malachai, and you know it.’

‘It is what happened! You forced me! You . . . you used some kind of witchcraft and you made me want it!’ Malachai’s voice broke. He turned to the Elder. ‘He is a monster. He forced me to do unnatural things with him and he should be put to death for it!’

There came some murmurs of agreement from the assembled crowd, but the Elder shook his head. ‘Nobody shall be put to death based on allegations alone.’ He turned away from the bronzesmith and looked at Jair. ‘I’d like to speak with you in private about this, Jair.’ He set off toward his own house. Jair nodded his agreement and turned away from Malachai to follow.

‘If you won’t do it, I will!’ Malachai growled and lunged forward, knife in hand.

‘Jair, look out!’ Epheriel cried.

Jair turned again and, seeing Malachai coming toward him, raised his own knife. ‘Stop!’ he commanded, but Malachai did not. He lunged with the knife. Jair dodged, but Malachai did not give up. He was strong and fast. On his third attack, Jair managed to step aside but tripped and stumbled. Malachai followed, knife at the ready, straddling Jair’s thighs, and Jair did the only thing he could. He pointed his knife upward and, as Malachai bent over him, it pierced his heart.

But Malachai did not die. His eyes rolled back and he roared. It was a savage, inhuman sound, and where Epheriel had felt a plethora of emotions before, now only rage remained. As Malachai pulled the knife from his chest and raised it along with his own, ready to strike the killing blow, Epheriel rushed forward.

‘No!’ it cried, and as it did, its form grew big and bright, its wings shining like the sun. It grasped Malachai’s wrists, making itself just solid enough to do so, and he seemed to cry out in pain. He shook, and it was as though the angel’s touch burned him. He dropped both knives on the ground, his hands going limp and his jaw slack. Then he let out a rattling breath and slumped, breathing no more.

Jair crawled backward on his elbows so when Epheriel let go, Malachai fell to the ground. Blood poured sluggishly from the stab wound in his chest, pooling on the earth below. Jair’s shawl was stained red, as were his hands. He stared at them, uncomprehending. ‘What . . . ?’

‘It is all right,’ said Epheriel softly, kneeling at Jair’s side. ‘It is all right, my heart.’

Murmurs rose among the onlookers again. Finally, the Elder spoke. ‘Is he dead?’

‘Yes,’ said Epheriel, rising. ‘He, and the thing that was inside him.’

The Elder bowed his head. ‘You are an angel. One that was watching over Jair.’

‘Yes. I am called Epheriel.’

‘What did you mean, the thing inside him?’ asked the Elder, eyes still averted, as if looking straight at the angel would hurt them.

‘Malachai was possessed,’ said Epheriel. ‘In his fear and his hatred, he let something in. A dark creature. One not of the Lord.’ It shook its head sadly. ‘This was not his fault.’

‘Yes it was,’ said a soft voice, and they all looked up to see Eleora, Malachai’s wife and the Elder’s oldest daughter. ‘Whatever it was, my husband invited it in. He was full of anger and hatred. He was cruel to me. And . . . I saw the way he looked at other young men. He never looked at me that way. He was the abomination.’

‘If he treated you ill and was unfaithful to you, child, then that was both wicked and sinful,’ said Epheriel. ‘But he was not an abomination, and love is never a sin.’ It turned to look around at the gathered villagers. ‘You all believe that love between two men or two women is unnatural and wrong, but that is not the case. The Lord is love. To love is divine, no matter for whom that love is felt.’

‘Epheriel.’ Jair spoke softly. ‘They won’t understand.’ He stood up, slowly. ‘I need to wash,’ he mumbled.

‘Jair! I still need to speak with you,’ said the Elder.

‘No, let him go,’ said Epheriel, as Jair turned and began making his way down toward the stream. ‘I will answer what questions I can.’

‘Are you truly an angel?’ asked Shimon.

‘Yes.’

‘What’s Heaven like?’ asked one of the villagers.

‘Why are you here?’ said another.

‘Stop,’ said the Elder, raising a hand. ‘Go about your business now. I will speak to the angel alone. Shimon, Ruben. Prepare the body for funeral rites. Please,’ he turned to Epheriel, ‘come to my house.’

Epheriel acquiesced and followed. As it entered the home of the Elder, it shrank down somewhat, making its wings smaller so it would not take up too much space in the small house.

One of the Elder’s wives was at home. She gaped at Epheriel, and her husband sent her outside to work on her pottery. Then he turned to Epheriel again. ‘Welcome to my home. Will you break bread with me?’

‘I do not eat,’ said Epheriel.

‘Ah. Of course.’ The Elder wore a thoughtful expression. This time he dared to look at the angel’s face. ‘So Jair is truly watched by angels.’

‘Did you doubt it?’

The Elder smiled ruefully. ‘I am mortal. All mortals doubt what they cannot see or touch.’

‘So I have come to realise.’

‘And . . . you are the pale stranger that Malachai saw?’

‘In a manner of speaking. I . . . can take many forms.’

The Elder cocked his head and eyed the angel curiously. ‘May I see?’

Epheriel hesitated. It had spent a lot of power stopping Malachai. Yet it did not feel drained, and it focused on its human form, shrinking further until it stood naked before the Elder, who shook his head. ‘Remarkable. Yet you don’t look like most men.’

‘This is the form I took naturally when I decided to become a man,’ said Epheriel. ‘I did not choose it.’

The Elder took him in with an amused smile. ‘And you are as the first people in the garden, before the Fall; unashamed, as El Shaddai made them.’

‘Yes, I have heard that story.’

‘You have a different one?’

‘There are many stories,’ said Epheriel. ‘And they are all true in their own way.’

The Elder nodded thoughtfully. Then he reached for a light linen shawl that lay on a nearby stool. ‘Here, put this on.’

Epheriel did as he was asked, wrapping the garment around him as the Elder wore his. ‘Are you more comfortable now?’

The Elder smiled. ‘A man’s naked form does not embarrass me. But should one of my wives or children enter, they might be somewhat shocked.’ He sat down on a stool. ‘Why did you reveal yourself now?’

‘I could not let the thing inside Malachai kill Jair. I acted on instinct. The man himself was already dead, of course, to Jair’s knife. What remained was a shell inhabited by something evil. How it came to be there I cannot be sure. I first felt it some weeks ago but was unable to identify who or what it was. Many things hide in the dark, waiting to be let in by mortals, unwittingly or not. My touch killed it, or expelled it; I cannot be sure which.’

‘You love him. Jair.’

‘Yes,’ said Epheriel simply.

‘I heard what you said. Jair is right. They will not understand. Some will blame Jair for what happened. In a case like this, an accident or self-defence, our laws would normally force Jair to take Eleora for a wife, to support her and her children. That won’t be possible, however. I don’t think it’s safe for Jair in the village.’

Epheriel nodded curtly. ‘Then we shall leave on the morrow.’

‘It is a shame.’ The Elder sighed. ‘Jair’s family has always lived here. His father was meant to become Elder, not I, but he died before the old Elder did. Our families have been close as kin for generations, and we can both trace our lineages back to the time after the Flood. Jair’s father knew all the stories, and he passed many of them down to his son. The rest, I know. My sons have no interest in such things so I always intended to name Jair as my successor. Now . . .’ He shook his head. ‘Now everything is different.’

He glanced at the angel. ‘I know everything. I know he has no interest in women, and I know he didn’t fight the Sumerians. The former I guessed and the latter he told me. You said all stories are true in their own way. What matters is what people believe. I worried that people would start to believe he was a sinner, so I offered him my daughter. Watched by angels is as good an excuse as any to decline, so I accepted it, even though I had doubts. What mattered was that people trusted him and would follow him when I died. But Malachai sowed the seeds of doubt in my people.

‘You will find a new village, a new home for him. Perhaps even a city. He will impress them as the skilled hunter that he is, and nobody will suspect his proclivities because he won’t act on them with any mortal. I can tell that you will not leave him.’

‘I will not,’ said Epheriel. ‘I should go to him.’

‘Yes, you better had. If we do not speak again, I bid you farewell, Epheriel. May you always watch over Jair. He’s a good man.’

‘I know.’ Epheriel smiled. ‘Better than anyone. I can see the light in people, and Jair’s drowns out all others. Farewell. May your village be prosperous and your descendants many. Peace be upon you always.’ He drew aside the curtain and left.

Epheriel walked through the village unashamed, in the shape of a man. The villagers gawked at him, but none of them stopped him. He walked all the way to the river where Jair sat, barechested; his shawl, which he had clearly tried to wash, was drying on a rock in the sun. His hands were clean and his knife lay on the ground next to him, also clean. He stared into the water, but when Epheriel approached, he looked up. His eyes were wet with tears.

‘Jair. My heart.’ Epheriel sat next to him. A flood of emotion poured from Jair onto him. He had completely let down his guard, and Epheriel felt his grief and shame and remorse.

‘I don’t deserve that endearment,’ said Jair softly. ‘I have killed. What’s more, I have killed my first love.’

‘He would have killed you,’ Epheriel pointed out.

Jair shook his head and lowered his gaze. His dark eyelashes fluttered against tear-stained cheeks. ‘A murderer does not deserve the love of an angel.’

‘Perhaps not, but you are not a murderer. I know your pain. I feel it. But, Jair, you are stronger than this. And you can overcome it.’ He ran his hand over Jair’s shawl and it was instantly dry, the bloodstain that Jair had not quite been able to remove vanished. ‘Get dressed. Let us go home.’

Jair nodded slowly. The emotions had abated somewhat and now only a numbness remained. He took the shawl and wrapped it around his shoulders and torso.

‘I spoke to the Elder,’ said Epheriel as they both stood. ‘He does not think it is safe for you here. He said Malachai sowed doubt in the hearts of the villagers. Some will blame you. I told him that we will leave tomorrow morning.’

Jair nodded again. ‘I was thinking the same. This can’t be my home after what I did. I should have left a long time ago. When the lies about me and the Sumerians spread. When I received the status of a hero that I didn’t deserve. I should have left then.’

Epheriel shook his head emphatically. ‘No, Jair. The myth of you was important. You gave the people hope. And . . . if you had left, we might never have met. None of this was your fault.’

‘What if I did force him?’ Tears began to pour down Jair’s cheeks once more.

They had reached his house now, and Epheriel ushered him inside. As soon as they were in there, he pulled Jair into his arms. ‘You did not.’

‘What if I were the only one who truly wanted it?’

‘You were not. He desired you still. I felt it, his lust for you. You got over him but he never got over you. All along, he was just like you, but he was afraid. So he married Eleora, but he never grew to love her. He fathered children, but he hated every moment of it. His self-loathing festered and he blamed you, but you were never at fault. You did not force him. You did not rape him. And you know that I would never lie to you.’ Epheriel pulled back and gazed into his lover’s dark eyes. ‘You are a good man, my heart.’

Then he kissed him, and Jair kissed him back with something almost like desperation. He reached up under Epheriel’s shawl and touched him, took him in hand. Epheriel pulled away. ‘No. It is daylight. We may be seen.’

‘Don’t care,’ Jair said breathlessly. ‘We’ll be gone tomorrow and they will never see us again. I need this. Please, let me.’

And Epheriel knew he could not say no, so he hung his shawl before the window, and he summoned rain and thunder from the sky so that people would retreat indoors and nobody would hear. He wondered briefly if this was abuse of his newfound power, but he could not bring himself to care very much. Jair needed him. That was all that mattered.

Ω

They stayed in the house all day and all through the night. Just before dawn the following morning, they were awakened by a knock on the doorpost. Jair stood, got dressed, and pulled aside the curtain. He was met by Joseph and Miryam.

‘Our father sent us,’ said Joseph, before Jair could speak. He held out a bundle of sackcloth. ‘Supplies for your journey. There is some bread, dried meat, a skin of wine . . .’ He trailed off, looking past Jair at Epheriel, who had put on the clothes he had been given by the Elder. Neither Joseph nor Miryam had been present the previous morning and so had not seen the angel, in this form or the other. Joseph immediately averted his gaze, but Miryam stared unashamedly.

‘So it’s true,’ she said, her voice filled with awe. ‘You are real.’

‘I am,’ said Epheriel.

She could do nothing but shake her head.

‘Thank you,’ said Jair, taking the bundle from Joseph. ‘Please. Send your father our thanks as well. He has treated us both with kindness.’

‘More kindness than I have,’ Joseph mumbled. ‘I’m sorry, Jair. For what I did.’

‘I’ve already forgiven you,’ said Jair. ‘Peace be upon you both.’

‘And you as well,’ said Miryam. She took both his hands and kissed them. ‘May El Shaddai bless your steps.’ Then she left.

Joseph looked up at Jair again, then at the angel behind him. ‘Good luck,’ he said before he, too, walked away.

Jair sighed. ‘I suppose that’s our signal to leave before the rest of the village wakes.’

He rolled up the furs on the bed and tied them with a hempen rope. He did the same with the bundle Joseph had given him and strapped them both to his back, along with his bow and arrows.

‘No,’ said Epheriel. ‘I will carry them.’

Jair shook his head. ‘This is my burden to bear. So let me bear it.’ He put on his sandals and picked up his spear, but left his bronze knife by the hearth.

‘Will we not need it?’ asked Epheriel.

‘The spear tip will do,’ said Jair. ‘That knife has spilled human blood. I can’t carry it anymore.’

Epheriel nodded. ‘I see. Then I shall carry it.’ And he picked up the knife and slid it into his own belt. Jair did not argue.

They left the house just as the first rays of sun peeked over the horizon, and set off toward the edge of the village. Jair was surprised to meet Shimon just as they reached the road.

‘Jair. Epheriel.’ He nodded to the angel, averting his gaze. ‘I just wanted to say goodbye. And to thank you both. You did my sister Eleora a service. She has told me Malachai beat her almost daily toward the end. Last week she . . . she miscarried. She didn’t even know she was with child, but he punched her in the stomach and killed it. She didn’t dare tell anyone, lest she be blamed for it. His death . . . was a service to her, whether it was truly he or a demon who did that to her. Perhaps it was both. He might have beat her to death, in the end, had he not been stopped.’ He stepped up to Jair and kissed both his cheeks. ‘Know that you have a friend in me, and in my family. We will never forget you and all the good you’ve done for us. Peace be upon you, brother.’

Jair swallowed, hardly daring to speak. ‘And upon you,’ he managed.

‘You as well, Epheriel.’ Shimon bowed his head. ‘Thank you for watching over Jair. I am glad it’s not him we’ll be burying in a few hours.’

‘As am I,’ said Epheriel. ‘Go with the Lord’s peace, Shimon.’

Ω

They walked north all day, away from the village, avoiding the next couple of villages over, where people knew Jair. They did not know how quickly word would travel, but it was better if nobody saw them. In the evening, they made camp on the bank of the Tigris and continued along it the next day, and by the following evening they could see the city of Niveneh on the horizon.

‘We could go there,’ said Jair. ‘They speak the same language as we do, and we would be safe there.’

‘We will not reach it by nightfall, though,’ said Epheriel. ‘Let us make camp and make our decision on the morrow.’

Jair agreed and began to gather driftwood from the riverbank for a fire. Epheriel set about skinning the young gazelle Jair had shot earlier that day and which Epheriel had insisted on carrying. They would grill as much of it as they could over the fire and leave the rest for the vultures. It was already dark by the time they got the fire going.

They slept under the stars, the rains not bothering them that night, though a thunderstorm rumbled by not far from them. But a few hours before dawn, Epheriel woke up. He felt a presence nearby. Dread flooded him as he realised what it was.

‘Jair!’ He shook his lover awake. ‘We must flee. Pack everything up. They’re coming!’

But it was too late. A light blazed in the sky as three angels descended from the heavens, shining as brightly as the sun and each with three pairs of wings. It was Michael, Zerachiel, and Metatron. Epheriel stood at once. He was still a man, but now a faint glow emanated from him.

‘Brother,’ said Metatron as it landed before them. ‘There you are.’

‘Here I am,’ said Epheriel. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Is that any way to greet the Voice of the Lord?’ said Zerachiel.

‘Is that he?’ asked Michael, pointing to Jair. ‘The man, Jair?’

Jair stood. ‘I am Jair. What do you want with me?’

‘Nothing at all,’ said Metatron. ‘We only want your companion.’ It turned to Epheriel. ‘Come home, my bother. Forget this nonsense and rejoin the Host in Heaven. The Lord commands it.’

‘I do not believe you,’ said Epheriel, clenching his fists. ‘And I will never leave Jair.’

Metatron shook its head sadly. ‘I see. Then you have been corrupted beyond saving. Michael?’

Michael raised both its hands and between them formed a great ball of fire. Turning to Jair, it flung the ball at him. It struck him in the chest, and Jair let out a cry of pain, crumpling onto the ground.

‘No!’ Epheriel dropped to his knees next to Jair. Jair could not speak. He was shaking and gasping, but he was still alive. His shawl had been all but incinerated and his torso was covered in burns. Epheriel covered his heart with both hands, willing him to heal, but nothing happened.

‘Hopefully, this will be the end of it,’ said Zerachiel. ‘Come now, brother. There is nothing keeping you here, and your transgressions can still be forgiven.’

‘It will not come with you,’ said a booming voice, and then Azazel and Tamiel landed, one on each side of Epheriel. ‘You are fools if you believe that murdering somebody’s true love will make them join you,’ said Azazel, shaking its head. ‘Leave.’

‘And if we do not, what will you do?’ said Metatron mockingly. ‘We are three seraphim. What are the three of you?’

Epheriel turned to Tamiel and Azazel. ‘Please! Heal him!’

Tamiel shook its head sadly. ‘We cannot, brother. An angel cannot heal a wound caused by divine energy. He is dying.’

‘No!’ Epheriel’s human form vanished in an instant and it rose up, shining as brightly as Metatron and unfurling four great wings. ‘Bring him back!’ it roared. ‘Zerachiel, you can bring him back! You, angel of healing!’

‘Why would I do that?’ said Zerachiel.

‘Because if you do not, I will destroy you all!’

‘As if you could!’ Michael scoffed.

‘Epheriel . . .’ Jair’s voice was weak and hoarse, but Epheriel heard it all the same, and it immediately went to his side.

‘My heart . . . Please, do not die!’

‘Make . . . make me . . . like you.’

‘I . . . I do not know how!’

‘Yes . . . you do. Just as . . . you knew how to . . . call rain. Just as . . . you knew how . . . to become a man . . . for me. Do it . . . for me.’ His eyes slid shut and Epheriel let out a wail of anguish.

The angel pressed its hands to Jair’s chest, reached inside and felt his heart, barely beating. It focused all its energy and all its love, drawing on all the power it could. It would pluck the stars from the sky if it had to, drain the light from the moon if it meant that Jair could live.

The others looked on in astonishment as Jair began to glow, and then it was as though light exploded out of him, and he rose up, up into the air. He sprouted six wings of fire, greater than Epheriel’s, rivaling those of the seraphim. His eyes opened, burning with white-hot flames, and then his entire being turned into pure light, and before them stood an angel, brighter than Azazel. Brighter than Michael, Zerachiel, and Metatron.

‘Leave!’ it said. ‘Return to your Heaven and leave us in peace.’

Azazel looked at Metatron again. ‘Now we are four,’ it said.

Metatron glared at Jair in disgust. ‘I should have taken matters into my own hands before. I should have killed you myself.’

‘What do you mean?’ said Epheriel. Then it dawned on it. ‘Malachai . . . were you somehow behind that? All to get me back into Heaven? Why? I am just a watcher. I am nobody.’

‘Ripples in a pond,’ said Metatron.

Epheriel nodded slowly. ‘You feared that more would follow me. But . . . I felt the thought long before I knew Jair.’

‘I was not responsible for his hatred,’ said Metatron. ‘But I knew he would never fully act on his thoughts.’

‘So you made a deal. Is that it?’ Tamiel’s voice was quiet, but there was a definite edge of anger to it. ‘You found some lower being and made it possess a mortal, so he would kill Jair.’

‘He was already possessed. His hatred attracted the creature and it lured him into the woods at night to take up residence in him. All I had to do was ask.’

‘Oh, and such a being would simply do what an angel asked of it, would it?’ Azazel made a dismissive gesture with its hand. ‘What did you promise it?’

‘Nothing of consequence,’ said Metatron. ‘Only the bronzesmith’s soul. And that was forfeit anyway.’

‘You did this?’ said Zerachiel with a frown. ‘What manner of creature was it?’

‘One of the lilim. Believe me, brother. I was doing the Lord’s work. Truly. I am Their Voice and Their Instrument.’

The new angel shook its head sadly. ‘You preyed upon an anguished soul. On a man whose fear and self-loathing were tearing him apart. You did this when you could have cast the creature out, when you could have saved his soul. And you claim it’s the Lord’s work. If They are truly so callous, then They are no Lord of mine. Now leave!’ The final word boomed like a thunderclap, and the fire in its eyes blazed yet more brightly.

Metatron hesitated only for a moment. Then it took Michael and Zerachiel by their arms, and the three seraphim lifted from the ground. ‘You are all cast out,’ it said. ‘There is no place for you at the Lord’s side.’ It turned its eyes to the sky and they ascended to whence they had come.

The new angel’s feet touched the ground. It turned its eyes from Epheriel to the other two, then back to Epheriel again. ‘Beloved,’ it whispered, spreading its arms wide, and Epheriel went to it, almost melted into it.

‘My heart,’ it murmured.

After a few moments, they let each other go and turned to Azazel and Tamiel. ‘What now?’ asked Epheriel. ‘Will they return?’

‘They may,’ said Azazel. ‘There is no way of knowing.’ It stepped up to the new angel, searching its face. ‘You are Eshiel now,’ it said. ‘The Fire of the Lord burns in you.’

‘Eshiel,’ the angel repeated, tasting its new name. ‘Yes. I am Eshiel.’

‘Where will we go?’ Tamiel sounded almost anxious.

Azazel shook its head. ‘I do not know. But there are others like us, who will also be cast out of Heaven, if they have not been already. Perhaps we will meet them.’

‘We could join Samael,’ said Tamiel. ‘And the other Fallen.’

‘No. We are not like them. We did not rebel against the Lord and do not belong with the Adversary. We rebelled against the tyranny of Their supposed Voice. The Lord is still with us, I am sure of it. They created us with these feelings, with this power. Metatron has suppressed it, forced us into these roles, made us less than we are, wishing to keep all the power for itself. We are righteous, and one day we shall reclaim our place in Heaven. Love,’ it said, smiling at Eshiel and Epheriel, ‘is never wrong.’

‘Then,’ said Eshiel, shrinking down until it was a man once more, looking just as Jair had before, ‘I suggest we continue on our journey. It may be easier to evade them if we are among people.’ His clothes were whole once again. Epheriel also changed to its human form.

‘I believe so too,’ said Azazel, and a moment later a woman with light brown skin and hair like fire stood naked before them. Tamiel changed too, also becoming a woman, this one dark like Eshiel. ‘Though it may be best if we travel apart,’ Azazel continued. ‘The day will come when we meet again.’ She closed her eyes, and soon she was wearing a long skirt made of fine, red fabric decorated with fringes and stones, and a matching shawl to cover her torso and hair.

Tamiel created similar attire for herself. ‘Farewell, my brother,’ she said to Epheriel. ‘We will go south. There is a man in Babylon in whose house we will be welcome.’ She embraced him.

‘It will take days to walk to Babylon, perhaps weeks,’ said Eshiel. ‘It may not be safe for two women alone, if these are the forms you choose to travel in.’

‘We will manage,’ said Azazel. ‘Peace be upon you both.’

‘And upon you, my brothers.’ Eshiel embraced them both. It was strange; now that he was an angel he felt as if he had always known them. There were things—thoughts, secrets—that were not his but which he now knew. As the other two walked away, he turned to Epheriel. ‘I’m like you now.’

‘You are.’

Eshiel shook his head. ‘I am no longer Jair. But . . . what’s to stop me from turning out like . . . like Enoch? Maybe humans were not meant to be angels. Maybe I will be corrupted as well. What if I corrupt you?’

‘You will not,’ said Epheriel emphatically. He reached for his lover and embraced him, then kissed him. ‘We may not know what the future holds or where our journeys will take us. But we have each other. We can be together always.’

Eshiel smiled, looking down into his angel’s beautiful face. ‘Yes. We can. And we will be.’