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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Endings - 5. Chapter 5 Invitations

No harm in trying...

                                                                                                                                                                                ***

 

Chapter 5

 

 

“Hi, it’s me.”

“Yes, I know, Chase. What’s up? Ah… how are you?”

Hank’s polite question seemed forced, but Chase refused to let it throw him. He was on a mission. “Actually, I’m doing all right. Better than the last time you saw me. How about you?”

“The same.”

“Listen, I was considering coming over tomorrow after work to pick up more of my stuff, and I thought maybe—”

Hank cut him off brusquely. “Sure. Whenever you want.”

“Okay… great. It’s not like there’s much. It’s mostly Mom’s paintings and a few dishes, I think.”

“And your bathroom stuff. I packed that up for you.”

“Right, thanks, I appreciate that.”

“No big deal,” Hank said in a flat tone.

The weird formality of their conversation was a reminder of the distance Chase had created between them, and it made him nervous as he worked up the courage to continue. “Look, any chance you want to go for dinner, or a coffee or something? I’d really like to have a talk and try to explain—”

“Thanks for the offer, but I won’t be here tomorrow.”

“Another time then? Maybe Saturday… or Sunday?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Chase paused, a sudden surge of anguish taking his breath away. Nothing more came from the other side, until he spoke again. “I get it. Okay, well, I’ll try to get the rest out tomorrow.”

“It’s all boxed up, so it should be easy.”

“All of it? Even my mom’s dishes? That’s—”

“I was careful.”

Why did the man have to sound so curt? “I’m sure you were.”

“I divvied up the photos, and packed your office stuff too… gave you half the sheets, blankets and towels… you’ll see. Take whatever else you want,” he added in the same emotionless tone.

“All right.” Chase did his best to keep his voice neutral, but, for the first time since this all began, he felt a flicker of anger at the man. “I guess that’s it then. We should discuss Rex sometime.”

“There’s not much to discuss. You can take him whenever you want, and we can try to keep it equal if that works for you.”

“That would be the best… only if it’s okay with you,” he said, with some bitterness seeping out.

“It’s fine with me. He’s your dog too, and he shouldn’t have to pay for any of this.”

Chase felt the directed stab of his words, finally hearing some emotion in the man’s voice, but he carried on because Hank was right. “No, he shouldn’t. Since I haven’t got my own place yet—ah—I’ll let you know when I do. We can work out some kind of schedule and see how he handles it.”

“He’ll be fine with whatever,” Hank said dismissively. “Sorry, I have to go now.”

“Didn’t mean to keep you. Bye, Hank.”

The sudden click left him shaking. He had no right to be angry at his ex, but the man’s coldness hurt. He’d always treated Chase so lovingly in the past. He’d never seen or heard this Hank before, not towards him, but he got the message loud and clear: he didn’t want to see him in person. What happened to trying to be friends? A ball formed in the pit of his stomach, and he walked down the hall to his bedroom.

He was frustrated, wanting to talk about all the stuff he’d figured out, but the guy didn’t want to hear anything from him. Was he overreacting? Maybe Hank really did have plans for the entire weekend. But his tone… there was no mistaking that.

The desire to crawl into bed, pull the blankets over his head and let himself go numb, was overpowering, but he knew the consequences of giving in to it. He’d made a promise to himself, and to Cindy. He would never move on that way. Instead, he went back out to the living room, searched for apartments online, and worked on getting used to being by himself.

His mind wandered before eventually settling on his dad, and he wrote him a spur of the moment email asking where he was and how the trip was going. He stared at it without sending, and thought about his family. His mother had been the glue, but she was gone, and after his session with Dr. Chorney, he had a better understanding of his father’s retreat from his children. It was time for the threads to be pulled back together, and someone had to take the first step.

Deleting the polite, rather impersonal email, he started fresh. Opening up was difficult at first, but he thought about how his dad used to be—so easy to talk to—and it let him begin a much needed conversation.

“Hi, Dad. I know this trip is an escape for you, but we are still family, and we have to start talking again. I mean, really talking, like in the old days. Don’t you agree? Mom is gone, and that isn’t going to change, and we—you, me, and Cindy—are all we have. We need you, and I think you need us. I’m not so sure we are coping all that well. I want you to have a good time while you’re away, and I hope you are. Just know we love you, and when you do get back, whenever that might be, I want us to try to become a close family again. Cindy wants the same thing, and you know that’s what Mom would want.

“You should also know I’m staying at your place. I did something stupid, and Hank has ended things with us. Long story short—he proposed—I turned him down, which was a huge mistake on my part, and then I cheated. I got kind of drunk and kissed some guy at a club a few hours after the proposal, and had to pay the price for being so stupid.

“I don’t blame Hank. You know his mother’s history, and I was guilty of flirting, whether I wanted that kiss or not (which I didn’t). Anyway, I don’t want you to worry. I’m seeing Dr. Chorney again (two visits so far), and while I’m sad about what my life has become, I’m going to be okay. If I have to, I’ll go back on medication, but I don’t think it will be necessary.

“I’m in the process of looking for an apartment, and I found a few listings tonight that look promising, but it’s comforting to be here right now.

“If you could maybe send Cindy a longer email, and let her know how you are doing, I can assure you she would appreciate it. You know how she worries. But, be honest. If you’re not doing well, it’s okay to tell us. We don’t need protecting… we just need you. We are all guilty of saying we’re okay when we’re not. What would Mom think of that? I love you, Dad, and I miss you. Chase.”

He pushed send immediately, and then reread his words. It was the most he’d said to his dad at one time in years. It was both shocking and sad to realize that. He could pinpoint when everything changed. When the prognosis went from hopeful to terminal… It has spread againincurableshe might have a year… the end will be painful… we’ll try to make her comfortable.

They’d all been dumbfounded at the doctor’s words… she’d looked healthy at the time, having already beaten her cancer, or so they’d thought. After that day, he and his dad had never watched a hockey or baseball game together again. Oh, they’d tried, but that ritual between them had died, and unless they did something with their mother, like watch a movie in her room, they were seldom all together. The whole family would go to separate corners once out of sight of Christine, whose decline was slow, but steady and heart-wrenching. The doctor had been wrong. She’d lasted a year, five months, three weeks, and two days.

Exhausted, he closed the lid of his laptop and leaned back, wishing he could stop thinking. Staring at the ceiling, a few tears leaked out. When would this get easier?

An hour or so later, he brushed his teeth and went to bed. Sleeping alone was hard, but he had no desire to share his bed with anyone but Hank. Turning toward the empty side, he hugged the second pillow and drifted off.

 

Friday was a busy day at work, but it helped him come out of the funk of the previous evening. Despite Hank’s reticence to see him, Chase began to feel more like himself. During morning coffee, he was able to peruse the online apartment ads without feeling despair. He even found a couple that looked promising. They were on the other side of the park from Hank, and the location could be a good option for Rex. Less upheaval for the three year old rescue dog who’d had a terrible start to life.

His back story wasn’t a good one. He’d come from a northern community, found homeless, leery of human contact, and starving when Animal Rescue rounded him and a few others up. It’d been love at first sight when they’d finally got to meet the one year old, having been on a waiting list for months. They’d been warned about bonding issues with these kind of rescues, but one day was all it took to win his floppy-eared devotion. Chase wanted to protect that trust, although it suddenly occurred to him Hank might not want him living so close.

Lunch was interesting, for different reasons. Reluctantly giving in to Allan’s gentle urging, he joined the other members of the team at a popular nearby restaurant. Sitting in a group was uncomfortable for him at first, with everyone talking and laughing, but he soon began to participate, at least in the talking part. It didn’t take long to clue in that one of the new paid-interns, a good-looking guy named Dawson, showed interest whenever their eyes met. He definitely pinged Chase’s gaydar, and he had to admit those big doe eyes with their long lashes were beautiful. His quick erupting laugh was also appealing, and Chase found himself responding to his attempts at conversation. But, after a not so unpleasant hour, he returned to work with someone else on his mind. The intern was handsome and charming, but he was no Hank.

He was just wrapping up his day when Dawson showed up at the open door to his office. “Hey, boss man, you busy?”

“Oh, ah, no I’m not, but don’t call me boss man, okay? That’s Allan. It’s just Chase.” He leaned back in his chair and peered across his desk. Yeah, definitely another ping on his gaydar, and the man was also nervous. “So, what’s up? You need help with something?”

“No, that’s not why I’m here. I was wondering if… if maybe you’d like to get some dinner?”

“Dinner? Tonight?”

“Yeah, if….”

“Thanks, but no, I can’t.”

Dawson flushed with sudden color. “Okay, I understand. No harm in trying, is there?”

“No, no harm at all. Nothing personal, but my boyfriend and I just broke up, and I wouldn’t be good company. Sorry.”

“Yeah, I heard about that. It’s okay. Like I said, I understand.”

“You heard?” Chase asked, caught completely off guard. He hadn’t told any of his co-workers. “From where?”

“Krista. I kind of asked her about you. Sorry if I overstepped.”

Ah, Allan’s trusted assistant. Of course his boss would tell her. “You didn’t, Dawson, and I’m flattered. It’s just bad timing.”

“Oh… yeah… I know all about bad timing. You might even call me an expert.” He smiled, but those big, expressive eyes said something different, suddenly looked vulnerable. “If you ever just want to talk, I’m a good listener, no strings.”

“Thanks. Maybe some other time, okay?”

“Sure, well, have a good weekend then. See you Monday.”

“See you Monday.” He watched the man turn and leave. The invitation had been totally unexpected, and he really had no interest in starting something, but he couldn’t help feeling bad for Dawson. There was a story lurking behind that fleeting vulnerability. Chase had his own troubles, though. Sighing, he stood up. It was time to get the rest of his things from his old apartment. One trip should do it if he packed his SUV carefully. Texting Hank to confirm his plans, just in case, he waited, but got no response.

 

This time Rex was there, spinning in circles when Chase opened the door, and he melted into a puddle on the floor, right there in the entry. Falling backwards, he allowed the dog to have his way with him. It was nice to be so missed. There was nothing in this world like doggy kisses, and Rex was intent on setting a new record. Chase let him try, finally sitting up, giggling, and playing the ‘where’s my hand’ game with him until he calmed down. Knowing, with all the excitement, Rex would need to go out, he called an end to the love session and got up. He chuckled when Rex went over and sat under the hook that held his leash, his tail thumping wildly against the wall.

“Okay, boy. Let’s go. No, we’re not taking your ball. All right, you win, but we’re not staying out there all night, got it?”

His answer was a whine and a few more spins, making it a challenge to clip on the leash. His face was a constant target for sloppy tongue swipes as he leaned over Rex, held only barely still by the grip of Chase’s legs.

As always, the dog led the human to his favored spot in the adjoining park. After he did his business and Chase had disposed of it in one of the pails provided, he threw the ball into a stand of spruce trees for Rex to search out. As he awaited his return, his eyes swept the park, stopping at a solitary figure sitting at a picnic table on the far side of the big open field.

The man was hunched over, wearing a ball cap, and his back was to him, but Chase knew instantly who he was. His heart sank as he saw proof Hank had no plans for the evening. He was definitely avoiding him. Why else would he be sitting in the park without Rex? He’d obviously gotten Chase’s text. I won’t be here tomorrow. Those had been Hank’s exact words the day before.

A nudge to his knee got his attention, and he leaned down and clipped the leash before Rex could spot Hank. That would be way too awkward to deal with, and all he wanted to do was grab his stuff and leave.

He struggled to breathe—the world felt like it was closing in on him—but he forced himself to keep walking. Hank’s talk about being friends proved once again to be bullshit. His ex hated him because of what he’d done, and Chase had to accept it, along with the emotional turmoil that came with it.

Everything was packed neatly. Hank had even wrapped each of the eleven paintings in brown paper and marked which was which on the side. That would have taken some effort, and it confused Chase. He was convinced Hank hated him, but this was the act of someone who cared… wasn’t it? Or was he seeing something that wasn’t there?

Five medium-sized boxes were marked as well, but the only one Chase cared about was the one that said “Christine’s China.” It took half an hour to get everything to his car, and the whole time he wondered if Hank would appear. Part of him wanted him to, and part of him didn’t.

One last check around the apartment had him stepping into the bedroom. He wasn’t surprised to see only one pillow on the neatly made bed. It didn’t matter anymore. Someday, a different head would be on a new one.

Checking the closet one last time, he had the answer to what happened to his pillow. It was in the corner on the top shelf. At least it hadn’t been thrown away. With eyes burning, he put it under his arm and left the room. No more games. He was letting Hank know he accepted he no longer belonged here.

Hugging his dog, he told him how sorry he was for screwing up his life. Rex’s brown eyes held no judgement—just love, and Chase welcomed the gentle face washing that seemed to say he understood. Too bad Hank didn’t.

Sighing as he stood up, he took one last look around the room, and left. Halfway up the hallway, he realized something. Turning around and walking back, he pushed his ring of apartment keys through the mail slot. An audible whine came from the other side of the door.

“I know, buddy… I feel the same way,” he muttered softly.

 

*

Thanks for reading, and thanks to my editor, Timothy. Does it seem to you that Chase is making headway? Is Hank being a jerk? Please leave a comment and share your thoughts if you can. Cheers!
Copyright © 2019 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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18 minutes ago, Danners said:

Hank’s lack of sympathy is indicative of how wounded he is — deeply wounded, as was mentioned in a previous chapter’s comment. He’s having to re-examine himself and his relationship with Chase in a way he never expected to and is unprepared for. In my opinion, he was also unprepared for what he found: unresolved issues stemming from his mother’s affair. 

The illness and death of Chase’s mom and Chase’s survivor’s guilt, his depression, are insidious and ongoing. Chase thought he was over them, then wham! — the proposal set him off.

In the same way, what Hank’s mom did to his family, but more importantly Hank himself, left the same type of lasting damage. Damage I feel he never got a chance to fully deal with. Hank had to be strong for his family, then for Chase’s family, and then for Chase. At no point was Hank able to resolve feeling abandoned and betrayed (and yes, depressed and angry) until wham! — the proposal set Chase off.

Don’t be too hard on Hank. I disliked him too until I realized something important: Chase hit rock bottom. Hank is on his way down.

Wow! A very perceptive and well thought out comment. I learned through past endeavors of mine that you can't make or expect readers to like all your characters, all the time. That is just unrealistic, and not true to life. I like exploring the imperfect... the flawed... the ones who struggle, like I do, to find their way. That said, I'm really happy you care about Hank at this moment. Will it last? Maybe... maybe not... but it's nice you are seeing he's as damaged as Chase is. Frankly, I don't know anyone who isn't carrying some baggage from their past. I think you'll find the next chapter quite interesting. :)  Thanks, buddy... loved this! :hug: 

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2 hours ago, Headstall said:

Wow! A very perceptive and well thought out comment. I learned through past endeavors of mine that you can't make or expect readers to like all your characters, all the time. That is just unrealistic, and not true to life. I like exploring the imperfect... the flawed... the ones who struggle, like I do, to find their way. That said, I'm really happy you care about Hank at this moment. Will it last? Maybe... maybe not... but it's nice you are seeing he's as damaged as Chase is. Frankly, I don't know anyone who isn't carrying some baggage from their past. I think you'll find the next chapter quite interesting. :)  Thanks, buddy... loved this! :hug: 

If it makes you feel better, Chase’s dad and Hank’s mom both fall under the “Do Not Like You!” list and we haven’t even met them. ;)
 

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3 minutes ago, Danners said:

If it makes you feel better, Chase’s dad and Hank’s mom both fall under the “Do Not Like You!” list and we haven’t even met them. ;)
 

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Well, maybe we'll meet one of them soon. :)   Or, maybe not. :X  At least we know Chase's dad used to be a good guy, and that he's had a tough time too. And, he's the only parent he has left. :(  

BTW... I loved Steel Magnolias. As sad as it was, there was some truly funny scenes in it. 

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Just now, Geron Kees said:

Sad chapter. Obviously, both Chase and Hank are in pain. Chase is further along in dealing with it, while Hank is still groping his way. It's unpleasant for both. But that they still love each other seems clear.

As always, you're doing a wonderful, sensitive job of telling this tale. Bravo!

Thank you so much, Geron. Posting this story was a little more nerve-wracking than normal for me, so your kind words are most welcome. I'm pleased you included 'sensitive' in them. :) 

I agree Chase seems further along, at least in his acceptance of the situation. Hank might seem the one in control to some, but is he really? We have to question his avoidance of Chase. It could be anger, and pain, but it also could be what you say... that he loves Chase, and he's trapped by the past, and powerless to figure this one out. :(  Either way, sad indeed. :hug:  

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It seemed positive that Chase didn't 'wobble' when typing what happened with Hank - perhaps suggesting he's broken the negative cycle in his mind, at least for now.

Hank is going to go back after, see the boxes gone, and the apartment will seem so empty.  Then perhaps he'll check the pillow closet.  And not seeing it there on the shelf will hurt.  Hopefully some Rex snuggles will help because that's a recipe for a loooong night of the soul...

Hmm - Dawson - you prepping us for another story already..??  :P

 

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1 hour ago, Brokenbind said:

It seemed positive that Chase didn't 'wobble' when typing what happened with Hank - perhaps suggesting he's broken the negative cycle in his mind, at least for now.

Hank is going to go back after, see the boxes gone, and the apartment will seem so empty.  Then perhaps he'll check the pillow closet.  And not seeing it there on the shelf will hurt.  Hopefully some Rex snuggles will help because that's a recipe for a loooong night of the soul...

Hmm - Dawson - you prepping us for another story already..??  :P

 

Lol... funny you should ask... there's always another story percolating. :X 

Yeah, Chase was matter-of-fact about what happened with Hank in his email to his dad. I'm glad you picked up on the strength it showed. I don't think Chase has been the initiator  of anything over the past few years, yet here he is, starting to pull the threads of his broken family back together. Is he beginning to see himself differently? 

I expect Hank's sadness was probably present while he was sitting in the park, but it will definitely surge once he goes back home. He may have thought Chase's stuff being gone would make things easier, but I doubt that will be the case. And yeah, doggie snuggles make everything better. :)  Thanks for another great comment, buddy. :hug: 

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So many good comments and points to ponder.  I do believe Hank is on his way to hit bottom too.  I hope he finds someone to help him (perhaps Stacy?).  However, Chase is finally becoming more independent.  Depression will always be with him as a possibility, but he has learned tools to help him recognize and work through it.  Sometimes it is a moment by moment determination to not slip into a deep funk.  One must use will over emotion and allow the rational to be the guide.  It's easier said than done, but it is truly the only way forward.  Chase is doing just that.  I am looking forward to the successive chapters!

Tony

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If Hank can swallow his pride — and that’s a huge if — a role reversal with Chase might actually do him some good while beginning to repair their friendship, if not their relationship. Time for Chase to be the shoulder Hank leans on. I mean, if anyone understands depression and feeling betrayed/abandoned, it’s Chase . . . or Cindy, I suppose, but I’m playing favorites damnit!

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1 hour ago, pvtguy said:

So many good comments and points to ponder.  I do believe Hank is on his way to hit bottom too.  I hope he finds someone to help him (perhaps Stacy?).  However, Chase is finally becoming more independent.  Depression will always be with him as a possibility, but he has learned tools to help him recognize and work through it.  Sometimes it is a moment by moment determination to not slip into a deep funk.  One must use will over emotion and allow the rational to be the guide.  It's easier said than done, but it is truly the only way forward.  Chase is doing just that.  I am looking forward to the successive chapters!

Tony

Hey, Tony! Yeah, I'm loving the comments. Readers are really delving into this story and making some excellent points. :yes:  Hank is a bit of an enigma to us, but he is confusing to Chase too. For example, he acts like he doesn't want to be near him, yet he packs up Chase's stuff... even goes so far as to wrap all Christine's paintings. I think you have a good point... he's at the very least doing battle with himself. 

Chae, on the other hand, is facing his truths, and being honest with himself. I'm not sure Hank is letting himself do the same, but we'll see. You are so right that depression can be a moment to moment journey. It's kind of like the sun peaking from behind fast moving clouds. You can't count on seeing it for long, but if you're patient, you know it will come again. Some days, that has to be enough. I'm so pleased you are seeing the headway Chase is making. I think you'll find the next chapter interesting as well, for a number of reasons. Thanks, buddy... I'm really enjoying your input. :)  Cheers... G :hug: 

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1 hour ago, Danners said:

If Hank can swallow his pride — and that’s a huge if — a role reversal with Chase might actually do him some good while beginning to repair their friendship, if not their relationship. Time for Chase to be the shoulder Hank leans on. I mean, if anyone understands depression and feeling betrayed/abandoned, it’s Chase . . . or Cindy, I suppose, but I’m playing favorites damnit!

Yes, at this point, that seems a huge if. I think Hank is too angry... or at the very least, messed up, to move off his well of hurt. Sometimes we wrap that around us like a protective cloak. :( I agree a role reversal would be good for both, but I'm not sure Chase would be ready for it either. Lol. It's alright to play favorites... but I think Chase needs more time to find his strength... he's doing better, but he's still fragile. 

Frankly, the situation appears to be too big for either of them to handle well. It's hard to be rational in affairs of the heart at the best of times... and sometimes distance is what is needed. Maybe with a little more of that, they can try to build a friendship... Chase could use a friend right now. Thanks, buddy... I had to give this comment some thought. You're really good at making me think, even when it's my bedtime. :P  :hug: 

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5 hours ago, Headstall said:

Yes, at this point, that seems a huge if. I think Hank is too angry... or at the very least, messed up, to move off his well of hurt. Sometimes we wrap that around us like a protective cloak. :( I agree a role reversal would be good for both, but I'm not sure Chase would be ready for it either. Lol. It's alright to play favorites... but I think Chase needs more time to find his strength... he's doing better, but he's still fragile. 

Frankly, the situation appears to be too big for either of them to handle well. It's hard to be rational in affairs of the heart at the best of times... and sometimes distance is what is needed. Maybe with a little more of that, they can try to build a friendship... Chase could use a friend right now. Thanks, buddy... I had to give this comment some thought. You're really good at making me think, even when it's my bedtime. :P  :hug: 

Well, whoever can get through to a withdrawn and angry Hank would do well to draw a parallel between where he is emotionally now and where Chase was after his mom died and his dad abandoned ship. Hurt, angry, overwhelmed, mourning the loss of both a loved one and a relationship. Sure, it isn’t an exact match and it’ll be received as well as a case of the clap, but it’ll plant the thought where it’s needed — there for Hank to mull over when he’s not treading well water.

In fact, let’s hope it’s the same person who reminds Chase of that comparison. He needed time and someone to lean on and so does Hank. Even if it isn’t him.

I’m looking at you, Cindy, or Susie or Doctor!

Rest well, Gary!

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4 hours ago, Danners said:

Well, whoever can get through to a withdrawn and angry Hank would do well to draw a parallel between where he is emotionally now and where Chase was after his mom died and his dad abandoned ship. Hurt, angry, overwhelmed, mourning the loss of both a loved one and a relationship. Sure, it isn’t an exact match and it’ll be received as well as a case of the clap, but it’ll plant the thought where it’s needed — there for Hank to mull over when he’s not treading well water.

In fact, let’s hope it’s the same person who reminds Chase of that comparison. He needed time and someone to lean on and so does Hank. Even if it isn’t him.

I’m looking at you, Cindy, or Susie or Doctor!

Rest well, Gary!

I think Hank needs to do the self reflection Chase has done. It's really hard when you're in it, and at this point it feels like Hank has completely given up. Who knows, maybe the toll of dealing with Chase's grief , as well as his own, has been too much. I think he's shown he loves Chase, but sometimes that's not enough. Depression just doesn't affect the person in it... it makes victims of those around it too, especially those who try to help, but end up feeling like they failed. Your logic is perfectly sound, but I suspect logic has deserted Hank. That picture in his head of what he saw in the bathroom would he a hard one to dispel. So, I circle back to that feeling of failure. Hank may feel his efforts were moot, and that Chase needs to live more... without him. And in fairness, it is logical to conclude, after Chase's actions, he isn't ready for the relationship Hank wants. He probably sees accepting that as noble and right... we know it's a mistake, but we are the ones who are privy to Chase's thoughts. 

But yes, this is where sounding boards come into play. Both men need to have those... Chase has his sister and his doctor, and now Stacy... we don't know who that might be for Hank. Is he even ready to talk about his pain?  As I reread this, I'm feeling very sorry for Hank. Where will he go from here? Monday is near. :) 

Thanks, Dan... I did sleep well... cheers... G. :hug: 

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I liked this chapter very much.  It was good to see Chance take a step towards getting closer to his dad again.  I never put the dad on the "do not like" list, because the situation appears temporary to me.  He's trying to recover from a deep wound, and if he can't maintain the connection with his children in the process, it's not necessarily the end of the family.  After all, Chase did pretty much the same thing.  That's why it's good to see him reaching out again.  From the way the father has been portrayed, I'd expect him to respond eventually, if not right away.

What I don't enjoy seeing is Hank's passive-aggressive crap.  I thoroughly understand it, don't get me wrong--it's just that I grew up with that and got really good at that crap myself.  Even when you get over it, the habit can linger for a lifetime, and I find I'm still not as good as I'd like at being direct.  It's sad, as well, to see Hank sabotaging himself, instead of dealing directly with his pain.  He does have a right to lean on Chase the way Chase has leaned on him, and now that Chase is stronger, perhaps he could do that.  But I know from experience just how much relationships resist change, even when the change is for the better.

I do wish, however, that Chase had gone over to Hank and called him on his crap.  I don't think he did himself or Hank a favor by leaving Hank alone.  Directness is always preferable to avoidance.  (Yes, I realize I am saying "do as I say and not as I do." 😁)  And why was Hank in the park in the first place?  If he really wanted to avoid Chase, he'd have been somewhere else completely.

Why is it so much easier to see this crap when others do it, and so hard to avoid doing it myself? ☹️

 

P.S.--My favorite line from "Steel Magnolias" is "You are evil and must be destroyed." 😁

Edited by BigBen
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3 hours ago, BigBen said:

I liked this chapter very much.  It was good to see Chance take a step towards getting closer to his dad again.  I never put the dad on the "do not like" list, because the situation appears temporary to me.  He's trying to recover from a deep wound, and if he can't maintain the connection with his children in the process, it's not necessarily the end of the family.  After all, Chase did pretty much the same thing.  That's why it's good to see him reaching out again.  From the way the father has been portrayed, I'd expect him to respond eventually, if not right away.

What I don't enjoy seeing is Hank's passive-aggressive crap.  I thoroughly understand it, don't get me wrong--it's just that I grew up with that and got really good at that crap myself.  Even when you get over it, the habit can linger for a lifetime, and I find I'm still not as good as I'd like at being direct.  It's sad, as well, to see Hank sabotaging himself, instead of dealing directly with his pain.  He does have a right to lean on Chase the way Chase has leaned on him, and now that Chase is stronger, perhaps he could do that.  But I know from experience just how much relationships resist change, even when the change is for the better.

I do wish, however, that Chase had gone over to Hank and called him on his crap.  I don't think he did himself or Hank a favor by leaving Hank alone.  Directness is always preferable to avoidance.  (Yes, I realize I am saying "do as I say and not as I do." 😁)  And why was Hank in the park in the first place?  If he really wanted to avoid Chase, he'd have been somewhere else completely.

Why is it so much easier to see this crap when others do it, and so hard to avoid doing it myself? ☹️

 

P.S.--My favorite line from "Steel Magnolias" is "You are evil and must be destroyed." 😁

Hey, Ben. I read this a few hours ago, but I had to get the next chapter ready for posting. :)  I'm pleased this chapter appealed to you. It should illuminate a few things. There is a lot of hurt in this story, but that means there is healing that needs doing. Chase took a big step towards that with his father. He understands him better now, and that is the biggest part of it. You're right... Chase did much the same thing... they all got in the habit of going to their separate corners. You'll see soon how this part of the story progresses. 

You make an excellent point about what Hank is doing... he is being passive aggressive, yet that doesn't sound like the Hank Chase used to know so well. Chase is on his way up... is Hank on his way down? As much as Chase doesn't recognize Hank, is Hank seeing Chase just as differently? ... which leads to your other excellent point about relationships resisting change. We're not in Hank's head, but it would appear he's scrambling. He does the loving act of packing up all Chase's stuff... including wrapping up the paintings, yet he doesn't want to face the man. Where is that coming from? And, does Hank even know what he's doing, or why? 

LOL. I give great advice... yet don't listen to my own, so I'm with you, buddy. Looking back, there are many times I wish I'd been more direct. :(  The thing is, whether Dr. Chorney is right, Chase seems terrified of pushing Hank further away. I suspect, at this point, the good doctor is probably right. I must warn you... just when you think you know the whole story... you don't. There is sooo much more to come. 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Ben... this was awesome... cheers... Gary....

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Thanks for being so kind in your responses, too, Gary.  I just read and commented on the next chapter, and you're right---things are getting interestinger and interestinger.  I'm not sure Chase needs to worry about Hank, and it might not be a bad thing if he does push him away, we'll just have to see.  This weekly updating thing is such a tease!  (Just saying 😊 )

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23 minutes ago, BigBen said:

Thanks for being so kind in your responses, too, Gary.  I just read and commented on the next chapter, and you're right---things are getting interestinger and interestinger.  I'm not sure Chase needs to worry about Hank, and it might not be a bad thing if he does push him away, we'll just have to see.  This weekly updating thing is such a tease!  (Just saying 😊 )

No need to thank me, but thanks. :)  I love the interaction with readers. I put a lot of thought into my characters and their stories, and it's beyond rewarding when readers respond in kind. As far as Chase worrying about Hank, he still loves the man, and he carries an overabundance of guilt for what he did. It's only natural, but in the end, we all have to protect ourselves. 

LOL. I'm a teasemaster. ;)  I agree weekly postings are hard for readers, but there are good sides to it too. Sometimes we consume stories so quickly they disappear into the ether without much afterthought. Con't do that this way. :P  Cheers! :hug: 

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This was a healthy, gut punching chapter.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is that which is best for us but Chase did that and BRAVO to him.  He took steps to reach out to his father (no one will be able to say “but you never said/asked”) and he took his Hank detox medicine like a champ.  (As much as I loved him leaving the pillow the last time, I love even more that he took it this time.)

Hank is confused himself, which is understandable considering how deeply Chase hurt him;  When he said he wanted to be friends with Chase, he may have meant it....at the time.  There is a deep well of anger (I think some misdirected at Chase) among the hurt and he has a lot of sifting and sorting out to do, he is choosing to do it on his own or at least without Chase and that is his right but there is some passive aggressive motions on Hank’s part that is annoying.

I am proud as hell of Chase and have sympathy for Hank.  I’m on to see what the next chapter will bring (still scratching my head on how I missed this one, lol).

This was lovely, Gary.

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On 1/27/2020 at 12:15 PM, Wesley8890 said:

I am enjoying it, I just find it hard to comment on this story because some of the material hits me hard , as I've experienced some of what Chase has went through.

:hug:

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On 1/28/2020 at 3:37 PM, Danners said:

Hank’s lack of sympathy is indicative of how wounded he is — deeply wounded, as was mentioned in a previous chapter’s comment. He’s having to re-examine himself and his relationship with Chase in a way he never expected to and is unprepared for. In my opinion, he was also unprepared for what he found: unresolved issues stemming from his mother’s affair. 

The illness and death of Chase’s mom and Chase’s survivor’s guilt, his depression, are insidious and ongoing. Chase thought he was over them, then wham! — the proposal set him off.

In the same way, what Hank’s mom did to his family, but more importantly Hank himself, left the same type of lasting damage. Damage I feel he never got a chance to fully deal with. Hank had to be strong for his family, then for Chase’s family, and then for Chase. At no point was Hank able to resolve feeling abandoned and betrayed (and yes, depressed and angry) until wham! — the proposal set Chase off.

Don’t be too hard on Hank. I disliked him too until I realized something important: Chase hit rock bottom. Hank is on his way down.

👏 👏

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1 hour ago, FanLit said:

This was a healthy, gut punching chapter.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is that which is best for us but Chase did that and BRAVO to him.  He took steps to reach out to his father (no one will be able to say “but you never said/asked”) and he took his Hank detox medicine like a champ.  (As much as I loved him leaving the pillow the last time, I love even more that he took it this time.)

Hank is confused himself, which is understandable considering how deeply Chase hurt him;  When he said he wanted to be friends with Chase, he may have meant it....at the time.  There is a deep well of anger (I think some misdirected at Chase) among the hurt and he has a lot of sifting and sorting out to do, he is choosing to do it on his own or at least without Chase and that is his right but there is some passive aggressive motions on Hank’s part that is annoying.

I am proud as hell of Chase and have sympathy for Hank.  I’m on to see what the next chapter will bring (still scratching my head on how I missed this one, lol).

This was lovely, Gary.

Definitely gut punching... I know I felt it at the time I wrote it. That pillow has become somewhat symbolic, hasn't it? Sometimes one action can communicate better than hundreds of words. :)  Chase is doing a bunch of positive things, and reaching out to his dad is probably the most important. He needs him. He needs to know he still has a family... he deserves it--they all do, and his being proactive shows that he is changing for the better.

I do get Hank's confusion, and I'm glad you see it.  I do wonder if saying he wanted to be friends was his way of getting away form Chase's neediness at the time. Maybe it wasn't, but if we think back, Hank really did try not to hurt Chase. That, however, seems to have changed, and it almost seems as if he wants to punish Chase. :(  Passive aggressive is a good way to describe his actions. I think we readers might be underestimating Hank's anger, misguided or not. He was a hero before that fateful night... now he's more isolated than Chase was, because Chase always had him. That... is frigging sad. 

I'm pleased you have sympathy for Hank, but I fear he's pushing his luck. And you should be proud of Hank. He's doing the hard work. The next chapter should be eye opening, my friend. Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts... you rock! :hug: 

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