The Wink - 2. Chapter 2

2.1 In Church . . . Sunday

‘. . . it’s clear in the Holy Bible, that marriage is between a man and a woman. It can never be a union between persons of the same sex. As I speak, yes as I speak, there are those who want to change, no . . . more, to destroy the word of god, as set out in the Holy Bible. These creatures, called homosexuals, challenge our Christian way of life, seeking to extend the virtue of our faith to include their disgusting behavior. To cloak their sordid habits, they’ve corrupted a beautiful word in our language. I’m talking about the term ‘gay’ which used to mean happiness, but now shrouds their evil existence. BEWARE! (slamming his down for effect) . . .’

The congregation flinched at the unexpected sound. At the back a baby started to cry. In the family pew in front of the congregation, Jason cringed,

Bloody hell, he’s on a role. Why suddenly is he targeting gay people? Does he suspect someone, or is it just something he needs to rant about? I feel bloody uncomfortable, but because I’m family, I’ll have to make sure I don’t reveal my feelings. I wonder where this is going . . .

‘. . . (stridently) Beware! The issue isn’t whether same-sex couples can . . . ‘

. . . shit! He can’t even use the word gay or homosexual!

‘. . . get married, it’s more to do with whether we Christians accept their wicked lifestyle. NEVER! (Pause, as he stared down at the congregation) Never, I say to you, will we accept their sinful way of life and disgusting practices. NEVER! (glaring) Many of you have sons and daughters who are in danger of corruption by these evil creatures. The danger becomes critical with the role of social media in our lives today. PORNOGRAPHY! (again, slamming his hand down on the pulpit rail) These people use the evil of pornography to advertise their corruption; to solicit our youth to their ways, debasing the beauty of sex, given by the creator himself, so that we can survive as a species. . .’

. Out of nowhere a sense of dread consumed Jason. Suddenly he felt anxious. His heart-rate soared, and he had trouble breathing. Old emotions and memories he’d long suppressed escaped from his subconscious into the here and now. His mind in turmoil, he began to sweat, and an intense feeling of claustrophobia overcame him.

Oh please, please go away. I don’t want to have these feelings. I thought I’d conquered the wickedness when I got married. Why, why, now? It’s almost as if my dad’s words awakened old desires and passions I’d had growing up. I remember the craving and the sense of shame. More the sense of isolation. I had no-one to talk to; all alone and desperate. Dear God please help me. It can’t . . .

Now a new sensation gripped Jason. He had the uncanny perception of someone watching him. Initially he just shrugged the sensation aside, but it just grew more persistent. Eventually he looked about until . . .

. . . eyes, eyes watching me, beautiful brown eyes. My god he’s looking straight at me. He . . . he’s beautiful . . . those lips . . . cupids bow, so, so kissable . . . he, he has the face of an angel . . . oh my god . . .

The angel winked.

Jason just stared back, totally mesmerized by the gesture. A gentle smile radiated out of the other boy’s face but Jason sat powerless not knowing what to do. After what seemed an hour, in reality, about thirty seconds, the boy looked away and back towards the pulpit.

To still his elevated heart rate, Jason took deep breaths and willed his heart to go back to its normal rhythm. Beside him Kathy sensed his discomfort and frowning, gave Jason’s hand a gentle squeeze. He hardly noticed.

The rest of his father’s sermon passed without Jason registering anything. Feeling spiritually as well as physically weak, Jason managed to get up and file out of the church into the bright sunshine.

Several churchgoers joined the family as his father accepted congratulations on a fine sermon. His sister Rhonda quickly disappeared leaving Jason and Kathy to socialize with parishioners. The general consensus being that Pastor Peeter had delivered a profound and timely sermon. Once again they avoided using such adjectives of ‘gay’ or ‘homosexual’.’ A particularly obnoxious man started to use the harsh words of ‘poofter’ and ‘queer.’ No-one corrected him.

As Jason socialized, he didn’t realize that Rhonda had re-joined the group.

‘Father, mother, I’d like you to meet my new friend, Karl.’

Jason didn’t react to the sound of Rhonda’s voice engrossed as he was with a parishioner talking about the previous evening’s anniversary dinner. He knew his dad basked in the afterglow of the event, which made this morning’s strident sermon on gay people more puzzling. It sort of came out of the blue; as far as he knew nothing had happened to precipitate the outburst. He dutifully nodded at the old lady enthusing about his father as Pastor and the need for sermons denouncing wickedness in its many forms.

'Jason . . . bro, I’d like you to meet my friend Karl.’

The parishioner rambled on and Jason longed for a diversion. When he heard Rhonda, he gave thanks and, excusing himself, politely turned towards the sound of his sister’s voice.

‘Hi . . . glad to meet . . . ‘

He stopped and for several seconds stared into two beautiful brown eyes and cupid’s bow lips.

It’s him! . . . Oh shit, it’s him! . . . that face . . . an angel’s face topped with a shock of brown wavy hair . . . those lips, those kissable lips . . . he’s so handsome, no . . . no, just cute. Careful Jason or you’ll make an idiot of yourself.

Jason shook the proffered hand and managed a welcoming smile. A subtle pressure indicated the handshake was more than just social. The boy named Karl returned the smile showing white teeth in a pleasantly tanned face. Still holding Jason’s hand, he spoke,

‘Glad to meet you sir, Rhonda is a huge fan of her brother and I’m pleased to finally meet you. I must say you‘re taller than expected.’

‘Thank you . . .?

‘Karl.’

‘Thank you, Karl. I used to be shortish, but during my late teens had a growth spurt. It’s stopped now . . . hopefully. I haven’t seen you around before; are you new to our neighborhood?’

‘Yes, we’ve just moved in from the country. My dad’s a bank manager and recently promoted to the city. I’ve just been enrolled at Rhonda’s school for my final year.’

‘(Laughing) It’s always good to know a Bank Manager; you never know when you may need advice or a loan. I assume you live locally?’

‘Yes sir . . .’

‘Oh please . . . it’s Jason. Please call me Jason. ‘Sir’ makes me feel ancient when I’m just a bit older than you.’

‘(Smiling) Thank you . . .Jason. Yes, we live in Mount Eliza on (mentioning street name). Whilst I miss the country, I like where we live because it’s semi-rural and, at the same time, handy to the city. Not that I’ve got any reason to go into the city proper.’

‘Yep Karl, we . . . say, I’m rude; have you met my wife Kathy?’

With the formal introductions made, Jason had a chance to screen Karl.

Wow he’s not just a good-looking kid. He obviously plays sport because his body looks honed to perfection. Man, that satiny skin. I suspect from his name he comes from a Latin Germanic background and being well-known for their smooth skin. Fuck, I’d love to see him stripped buck-naked. Now I’m starting to feel uncomfortable because he’s sending out subtle vibes, or at least I think he is. Is it him or is it me? Jesus, what a morning. What a confusing morning with my dad’s rant against gay people and now this kid giving out confused signals. Maybe it’s just my imagination . . . I bloody-well hope so.

‘Hey big brother, can I drag Karl away for a minute. (Turning to Karl) Mum’s asked if you’d like to have Sunday lunch with us; we always cook too much on Sundays because we send stuff to the local soup kitchen as an offering. You’d be no trouble . . . I promise. Give us a chance to become better acquainted because we don’t get much time at school. Please say yes . . . please.’

‘(Enthusiastic) Hey, I’d love that! Excuse me while I go ask mum if it’s OK. I’m sure it is but I have to ask anyway.’

Jason and Kathy rode back to his parents’ home in silence. Conflicting emotions warred within Jason as he drove. Although being pleased Rhonda had found a good-looking new friend, he felt threatened by the vibes from Karl. At some point he decided to forget his reaction and just enjoy the traditional Sunday lunch with his folks.

2.2 Lunch at Parents . . . Sunday

. Arriving just behind his dad’s car, Jason and Kathy settled in the family room with his father, whilst Gloria went to prepare lunch. Sunday was a day of rest not only from physical exertion, but all matters theological. Jason was curious why his father had selected the gay theme for his sermon but decided not to raise the issue. If there was a specific reason, they would find out in due course. In any case the wonderful aromas coming from the kitchen focused thoughts on stomach; not matters scriptural.

After about fifteen minutes the doorbell rang, prompting Rhonda to call out,

‘It’s Karl, I’ll get it.’

Accompanied by a proud Rhonda., the boy rather self-consciously advanced into the room. He’d changed from church formal clothes to a ‘sporty’ look – tasty blue shorts, long white socks, and a pale blue tight shirt. If ever there was an image of a healthy young male, Karl certainly looked the part. Rhonda couldn’t keep her hands off him - and neither could Jason’s eyes.

‘Welcome Karl, here have a seat. Lunch is almost ready.’

‘Thanks Pastor, I must admit the aromas coming from the kitchen have got my juices flowing.’

Rhonda pulled Karl down to sit beside her on a three-seater lounge, almost opposite Kathy and Jason, the latter deciding to just watch and listen to the conversation.

'How are you finding school, Karl; is it any different from your previous?'

‘Well Pastor from what I’ve seen, the teachers seem OK. However, it’s far better equipped with learning stuff such as computers and tablets. Also, the sporting equipment is far superior and this pleases me as I’m keen on sports.’

‘Oh, what then is your main sporting interest, Karl?’

‘(Turning towards Kathy) Mostly athletics, Kathy. I also love swimming and of course, footy.’

(Laughing, mimicking)’ Of course footy! . . . You men and your football. The world can be going to pieces, but you’ll still argue about your team. Well now, I know I’m going to kick myself, but who do you support?’

(grinning) 'Why the mighty Bulldogs for sure. I played in our local team which had the same red, white, and blue of the AFL team. (pause, addressing Jason) Hey man, who do you support?’

Hearing his name jolted Jason out of his fixation on Karl’s bare knees.

‘Huh? (Kathy gave Jason a nudge)’

‘Wake up husband, Karl’s asking which footy team you support. (turning to Karl). He’s a fanatic fan of . . . ‘

‘Gimme a break, I can speak you know. (Turning to Karl). The bloods, umm . . . I mean the Sydney Swans.’

‘That’s strange, or were you a South Melbourne supporter before they moved to Sydney?’

‘I was. I still have a soft spot for the Red and Whites.’

This is boring shit. Why do people have to have these inane conversations just to fill an empty void . . . and that little bastard, he could have worn long pants but purposely put on a pair of short shorts. Man, this is all fucked-up. He’s got tanned, muscled legs and he knows it . . . and shows it. (Groan) I gotta admit I’m attracted to him and it’s killing me. Why is this happening now? Kathy’s prego with our first kid and suddenly I’m attracted to an 18 y.o spunk. Well, I’m just gonna ignore him and devote myself to Kathy. I’ll beat this! . . . please God.

Reprieve! Just then Gloria called that lunch was ready, and they filed into the separate dining room. Kathy and Jason sat opposite Rhonda and Karl, whilst the parents sat at each end of the table.

Peeter Anderson insisted no discussion take place on church matters or the subject of religion, during Sunday lunch. The conversation became normal banter about local issues, current affairs, and coming events. Enjoying the delicious food, Karl concentrated on eating, only responding when asked a question.

At some point, the elder Anderson exclaimed,

‘Well then, let’s let the ladies clear up and we males adjourn outside.’

Immediately,

‘Oh no you don’t father. That’s going back to last century when convention required women to leave the table, whist men languished behind with cigars and Port wine to converse on matters too complex for us poor females to comprehend. If Kathy and mum want treatment like this that’s up to them, but I’m coming with you outside; and that’s that!’

‘No, you’re not young lady! Mind your manners. I’ll have none of your radical feminism in my home, especially when we have a guest. If anything, Kathy should come with us whilst you help your mother. Kathy?’

‘No that’s OK Pastor. I’ll stay and help. I don’t mind if Rhonda . . .’

‘Well I do. Rhonda you’ll come and help me, and I’ll have none of your flippancy. You’ll do as I say, young lady and let that be an end to it.’

So, then the three males adjourned to the back porch leaving the ladies to clean up. They sat in individual chairs around a small low coffee table. The Anderson’s back yard impressed with freshly mowed grass, a small Jacuzzi surrounded by flower beds, and clumps of fruit trees. It was a beautiful day with soft afternoon sunshine.

Jason sat almost opposite Karl and the feeling of discomfort intensified. As he sat down, Karl’s shorts rode higher up his leg exposing more of his muscled thigh. Jason tried to keep his eyes neutral - with some difficulty.

‘There sit you down Karl. I don’t know about you, but I think I’ve eaten too much. My wife loves cooking and we (turning to Jason who nodded) love to eat her food. Unfortunately, I don’t get enough exercise to compensate for the calories consumed.’

‘I’m with you there Pastor, I thoroughly enjoyed lunch. My mums not a great cook unfortunately, so I can appreciate good cooking. If I may be bold, how long have you and Mrs Anderson been married?’

“How old are you now Jason?’

‘Twenty-four.’

‘So, there it is young man. We met two years before we married, so you can say we’ve been together twenty-six years, twenty-six happy years. With the right woman marriage is a blessing and I’ve certainly been blessed. Now enough of that; I believe your dad’s a Bank Manager, eh? A very noble profession. Have you given yourself any thought to your own future? I mean what sort of career are you considering?’

‘No Pastor, I haven’t. I don’t believe I’d be comfortable with a desk career because I like being outside. (Turning to Jason) I guess you had to make that decision too, Jason?’

As he replied Jason looked into Karl’s eyes and found them warmly focused on him. They were friendly, not challenging, and Jason relaxed.

‘Oh yes. (meeting Karl’s gaze) I’d always loved working with my hands and most of my activities were outside. Books never had any appeal. I even had trouble with textbooks on mechanics during my study years. When I couldn’t . . .’

‘That’s so true. Every father wants their son to follow him in choice of career but from early on I could see that Jason wasn’t academically minded. Being a mechanic and working with your hands is a noble occupation. Why, wasn’t our Lord Jesus a humble carpenter enjoying the respect of friends and neighbors. Of course, every mother wants an academically-minded son so it took some time for Mrs Anderson to accept Jason’s choice.’

(Chuckling) I don’t think she ever accepted me being a mechanic, except, of course, when her car needs fixing.’

The Pastor turned towards Karl encouraging him to continue.

‘(Musing) I love working with wood so I could choose carpentry for a career but, and this will surprise, I’m more inclined to be a Vet because I love animals.’

‘That’s wonderful Karl. A wonderful choice. I’ve always had a deep respect of Veterinarians. In a way, (the sound of a telephone ringing inside) being an animal doctor is much harder and requires more patience than an ordinary doctor. As a vet your patients can’t talk, and you must have great empathy and patience to be able to treat illness. No, I applaud the . . .’

Just then Gloria Anderson called out,

‘Peeter, your wanted on the phone. It’s George, the Deacon. He needs to talk about something important.

A concerned frown appeared fleetingly on the Pastor’s face, and he hurried in to take the call.

Leaving . . .,

. . . the two boys alone face to face for the first time. Momentarily confused they just stared at each other wondering how they should proceed. Eventually Jason decided to play hard-ball to cover his inner struggle. The safer approach was to go on the attack.

‘(Abrasively) Well that was fascinating; I know my father was impressed. You certainly come across as an upstanding young man, virtuous and conscientious. You do it very well.’

He sounds harsh; have I done or said anything to antagonize the man?

‘I sense disapproval. If you think I have an ulterior motive then don’t – because I haven’t. I’ve just met your family and simply responded to a question. Why do you . . . ‘

‘(Still abrasively) What are your intentions towards my sister?’

Fuck! What’s going on? At first, I thought he ‘s friendly, but now he sounds like he’s chewing me out.

‘What! (Pause) Where did that come from? That’s so old-fashioned, almost offensive. I’ve just met your sister and as far as I know, we’re just friends. You sound like an old-fashioned big brother looking after his sister’s virginity. If you think I’m trying to fuck Rhonda then you’re mistaken. Maybe, maybe not! What will happen will happen, so back off.’

‘(Strident) Better not swear in front of my parents, they take offense easily. Of course, I’m concerned about my sister; I’ve been eighteen myself, so I know how young lads behave.’

‘(Heatedly) Well, don’t judge me by your standards. I might point out that what’s between Rhonda and myself is our business, not yours.’

(Severely) Wrong! Maybe I’m old-fashioned but I do care about my sister and will always strive to keep her out of harm’s way. If you had a sister, you’d understand me. By the way, do you have any siblings?’

‘No, my parents . . .’

‘Well, if you did you’d understand . . .’

‘Hey back off! It isn’t about you, it’s about Rhonda, and I take exception to you judging me by your sordid standards. You don’t know me . . .’

At that point Rhonda appeared,

‘Did I hear my name? If you’re talking about me, I want to hear you’re saying. So, Karl, what gives?’

‘Your brother thinks I have improper designs on your virginity.’

(Turning to Jason) What! Are you for real? How dare you! I don’t need you looking after me. C’mon Jason, what’s going on? I can look after myself thank you. I’ve never heard you talk about protecting me before. Why now?’

Why indeed. Shit . . . I’ve really backed myself into a corner. All through my inability to cope with my baser feelings. This is bullshit! I’m making a fool of myself . . . how do I change the subject?

‘(Uncomfortable) I’ve always had your well-being in mind. Just haven’t discussed it openly.’

‘(Angrily) BULLSHIT! Why choose now to pretend to protect me, and why raise the issue with Karl? Somethings not right here and I want to know what’s going on?’

(Raising his voice) OH SHUT UP! Just because you want something doesn’t mean that we’ll scramble to placate you. This feminist crap has turned you into a harpy, sister dear.’

(Spluttering) You . . . you . . .. bastard . . .’

‘Language little sister. We don’t want any gutter language here. Watch it!’

“NO, I WON’T! You’re really pissing me off Jason. You need to apologize to Karl for judging him by your own sordid standards. Go on – apologize. If you don’t . . .’

‘STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU! I could hear your raised voices and bad language back in the kitchen. Shame on you both! (Turning to Karl) I’m sorry Karl, my two children are behaving like common brats. I don’t know what’s been said or to whom, but it’s going to stop right now, you hear.’

‘It’s Jason mother, he’s accusing Karl . . .’

‘NO, I’m NOT! I’m not accusing anyone. I just said I always looked after my sister, protecting her from unwanted advances of hormone driven young lads. If I’ve offended you Karl, I do apologize sincerely.’

‘And what about me? (abrasive) Are you going to apologize for treating like I’m a baby? I’m eighteen not eight! You have absolutely no right to interfere in my sex life. I can look . . .’

‘RHONDA! . . . Please shut up. You go too far. Jason has apologized to Karl and as far as I’m concerned that should be the end of the matter. Is that satisfactory, Karl . . .’

‘(Whinging) Mother . . . why do you let Jason get away with a simple apology to Karl. He’s offended me as well. Golden boy here can do no wrong it seems!’

‘Excuse me, but it seems I’ve caused trouble and I feel terrible. Perhaps I should go . . .’

‘(Earnestly) Nonsense Karl . . . please, you don’t have to go over this. I’m mortified that my children have behaved in such a disgraceful manner. (Obviously emotional) For myself, I regard you as an honorable young man with impeccable manners. You will always be welcome in our house. I would also like to meet your parents but before that happens please let me have their phone number. I intend to apologize for the behavior of my children and congratulate them on raising such a well-mannered young man. You are a credit to them.’

‘(Embarrassed) That’s really unnecessary Mrs Anderson but thank you. The fault probably lies with me. I misunderstood a remark, that’s all. I’m sorry Jason, I know you didn’t mean anything, and I just misread your words. Perhaps because I don’t know you and this being the first time we’ve talked. I’d like to get to know you better if you’d let me.’

(Angry) Karl, you’re letting Jason of the hook. He doesn’t deserve to be let off; what he needs is a good thump . . .’

(Severely) ‘Rhonda, that’s enough! I want this matter finished and, if possible, finished. You’re trying to continue the argument and I won’t allow it. Stop young lady . . .stop right now!’

‘(Wheedling) But mother . . .’

‘WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I’m trying to hold an important discussion on church matters and at the same time hearing raised voices. Can I ask . . .’

‘Peeter dear, leave it for now. We’ve had enough disruption. I’ll fill you in later but for now we’re going to move on . . . alright people?’

‘I’m sorry sir, we just had a misunderstanding that’s been resolved. Now I should get going now; I’ve had a wonderful day and a superb lunch. My compliments Mrs Anderson for . . .’

‘Nonsense Karl you don’t have to go . . . and please call me Gloria. My mother’s called ‘Mrs Anderson’ and I’m not that old yet. Please stay as long as you want. I’ll . . .’

‘If the boy wants to go Gloria, then let him. How did you get here, Karl?’

‘Umm, my Dad drove me, but I can easily walk . . .’

‘I won’t hear of it! Rhonda you take my car and drive Karl home. I suspect it’s the least we can do. I’m impressed with you Karl; I sense you’ve had a fine upbringing and someday I’d like to compliment your parents.’

And that leaves me with egg over my face. How stupid I am, antagonizing the boy just to camouflage my feelings. I’m thoroughly ashamed of myself