The Wink - 14. Chapter 14

14.1 Karl

. Rhonda caught Karl at lunch and suggested they have coffee down in Mount Eliza after school. Now they sat playing with their cups of steaming coffee.

‘Have you heard from Jason? Do you know how he’s coping at that place?

‘No, I haven’t heard. Of course, I’m not exactly popular with dear pater right now, so I doubt if he’ll tell me anything about Jason. (looking at Karl) How do you really feel about my brother? I still remember that first time you came to Sunday lunch. He heavied you unnecessarily. I thought you’d be sworn enemies forever.’

‘Yeah, he certainly had me guessing. Looking back, I reckon it was a camouflage job to hide his true feelings. I mean I think he felt attracted to me and went on the attack to cover up. At least that’s my theory. Since then we’ve become closer. One day at the beach he sat with me and the conversation became complex. We danced around until I eventually asked what he would do if I kissed him.’

‘(Laughing) You what? You asked my brother what he’d do if you kissed him? Cool! What did he say?’

‘That he’d kiss me back.’

‘My brother said he’d kiss you back, on the beach, out in the open? Wow!’

‘So, there it was. We both knew where we stood. (Embarrassed) Then I had that interlude with Billy and unfortunately Jason sorta faded away a little. I’ve thought about Billy lately. I liked him a lot, but it were only sex, no real emotion. He did me a favour messing with that other boy. He and I could never have lasted. It crushed me when I walked in on Billy and the other bloke. Absolutely stunned, I turned around and fled up to the main terrace. To my surprise Jason joined me. He could tell I wasn’t in a good place so he comforted by wrapping me in a cuddle. I really needed that. Something magic happened that night; we could both feel the electricity flowing between us.’

‘This is almost romantic. How love blossoms amid tragedy, then the couple get married and live happily ever after. Wow!’

‘What about you Rhonda? Are you seeing anyone?’

‘Nah, I don’t want to get serious, I’m too young and still at school. I got a coupla fellas I got regular, but that’s all. I’m OK, don’t worry about me. I’m more concerned about home. The relationship between my mother and father is deteriorating. Mum won’t hear a bad word about Jason and every time my dad starts to rant, she savage’s him. It’s his fault, he just won‘t accept Jason’s gay, and I think he’s gonna split the family apart. I’m so frustrated because there’s nothing I can do. It’s awful to watch your family break up. But enough of that; what’s gonna happen when Jason comes home. Will you see him?’

‘Of course, if I can. But what’s he gonna be like after going to that place? I just hope he’s not harmed; I’ve heard some nasty stories about places like that. I just hope they don’t damage him. We’ll just have to wait and see.’

‘Yes, it’s the great unknown. But Jason’s always been strong and can look after himself. I can’t see him putting up with any shit. Would you like to have a relationship with him?’

‘(Emphatic) Bloody oath! If he wants me, he can have me.’

‘What about if he’s carrying a lot of baggage like a wife and child. Could you cope with that?’

‘Nothings perfect. I care so much that I’d enjoy helping him through the rough spots.’

‘Well, we’ve only got another ten days before he come home.’

14.2 Tony gets moved from room

After lunch Jason returned to his room to find Tony gone. No explanation. Shortly after, Ernie entered and asked Jason if they could talk. Although the prospect of being alone narked him, he’d also miss Tony’s company. He took it personally and now put Ernie on the spot because he was a little pissed off.

‘Did you have to move Tony out of my room? Am I such an ogre that you think I’ll corrupt other? Seems a bit drastic to me. I need an explanation . . . so why?’

‘Well you’ve only got yourself to blame, haven’t you? Your attitude since you came has been to defy myself and Ava, and you do so in front of others. You’re a natural leader Jason; people look up to you. If you were being positive about what we’re trying to teach, it wouldn’t be a problem. As you insist on being negative, we must isolate you. It’s that simple.’

‘It’s not simple as you say, in fact anything but. Shouldn’t the onus be upon you to convince people that pursuing a straight life-style is for the better. Where are the tools, the arguments and the process that’ll change people from gay to straight? Up till now, all I’ve heard is platitudes and nauseous preaching about how good it is to be straight. Ernie, these people are gay and you want then to be straight. OK? Well show me how it’s done. If I’m convinced then I’ll buy into the program. So, convince me.’

‘(Avoiding the issue) Jason I’ve already told you about my descent into hell. Before that night I whored my butt around everywhere and indulged in every sexual activity known. I had, like Tony remarked, a high sex drive. Had I not seen the light, had I not vowed to change, I daresay I might not be alive today. I’m totally cured and am thinking of an engagement to a lass I’ve been seeing for several months. I feel restored and re-established as a normal person. Now I’m not saying others will be as lucky as I am. I’m not saying that . . .’

‘Well what are you saying. I’m getting tired of these vague generalities.’

‘We have a successful program that requires dedication and while you’re talking negatives, we won’t have a chance to achieve the level of commitment necessary. I suggest you do some soul-searching because your own situation is dire. Your Dad has imposed severe conditions should you not graduate successfully. He’s very serious, Jason. I sat in on his meeting with Ava and his attitude frightened me. You’ve got a lot riding on getting out of here cleansed. If I were you, I wouldn’t be so negative. What about your wife and coming baby? Don’t you want to have a happy home life with a supportive wife and the blessing of children? Think carefully Jason. Think carefully.’

After Ernie left Jason sat musing.

So that’s the deal. Knuckle under and participate in the program or suffer the consequences. But what program? I’m gay . . . I know I’m gay and unless there’s been a major medical breakthrough, I’m always gonna be gay. (sigh) So I’m back to lying, pretending, and burying my true self. Shit-eh! I don’t wanna go back to pretending I’m straight. (grunt) I’ve been here two days now and yet to see anything constructive presented.

14.3 Second Group Session

‘OK let’s begin. Max I’d like you to tell us your story. (turning to group) Ava and I talked with Max yesterday and in our opinion it’s critical he overcomes his homosexuality. I could say it’s a life or death matter (Ava nodded). Just take it slow Max, remember we’re all friends here; you have nothing to fear. Please.’

‘(Timidly) I . . .I . . . can’t. I’m too ashamed. Please don’t ask me to tell things I talked about yesterday. Please Ernie, please.’

‘No one here is going to judge you Max. (Again, addressing the group) Max has had a poor start to life; much harder than most of us. I wonder (wink, obviously a signal) . . .’

‘Hey Maxie, why don’t you tell us where you live and how old you are?’

‘(Relieved) Thanks Tony, I come from Frankston and I’m 18. I passed my GED (General Education Diploma) last year.’

‘How did you go. What were your grades like?’

‘Umm, I can’t remember the number scale, but I passed with honours in every subject but Maths.’

‘Fuck me . . . so yer a brain then?’

‘Sandra, please refrain from offensive language. The English language is quite able to express itself without resorting to bad language.’

Sandra simply glared at Ava whilst someone chuckled. Then she continued,

‘(Bluntly) So have you come out, I mean just at home or the world at large?’

‘(Stammering) I . . . I . . . have . . . sorta, but . . . but . . . I didn’t have the guts to tell anyone. Y’see . . . (tears started to roll down Max’s face) I got (choke) caught.’

‘What d’yer mean, caught? Were you rooting a boy and someone saw ya?’

‘(Reluctantly) NO, no, it wasn’t like that.’

‘(Impatient) Well tell us how.’

‘Sandra give Max a chance. Don’t badger him.’

Just then Jason entered the discussion.

‘Max, let me tell you how I got caught. It might help. I’d been going to the Seaford sauna for some time. But the first time there I picked up a brochure showing opening times and the general facilities. Unfortunately, I stuck the bloody thing in an old ski jacket and forgot. Sometime later my wife did a clothes search and found the wretched thing, and . . . BOOM! Does that help?’

‘A bit, thanks Jason. At a party I kissed a boy and unfortunately someone took a photo of us. They posted it online, and it went viral. One of my friend’s mothers saw the photo on her daughters mobile and, and . . . well, she told my parents. My parents were disgusted, and . . . and . . . (tears again began to flow)’

‘Max if you don’t mind me saying, you dress like a goth. All black clothes, dark glasses and being skinny. Why don’t you try and change yer appearance?’

‘C’mon Tony, we’re not here to question how the guy looks. Everyone’s appearance reflects their own individuality. I mean, I dress as butch as I can because I’m hiding who I am. There’s a reason for everything. When . . .’

‘Hey boys . . . can it! I want to hear from Max. What was yer home-life like Max? Did you have good relations with yer siblings and parents?’

Suddenly Max began to cry, deep racking sobs. He took everyone by surprise.

‘Max, I know this is very painful. You have every reason to be upset. Folks (addressing the group) Max has had a bad childhood. The family home didn’t give him a haven of security. Ava and I debated whether we’d ask Max to share with you all, but it’s necessary to face your demons before a person can change his life choices. (Addressing Max who still sat crying) C’mon mate, take the next 5 minutes to get all the horror off yer chest. I know you’ll feel better. Have patience people.’

Silence, then Jason,

‘Max, were you molested, mate?’

Max shuddered and started gasping for air. He began crying again, a little more intense than before. As he cried his head nodded in answer to Jason’s question. Then,

‘(Rushing) YES! Yes, they all buggered me! My brother and his mates kept fucking (Ava flinched, but said nothing) me anytime we were alone, then me Uncle would rape me, but the worst thing, I found out my dad knew about it all the time and took money from my uncle to fuck me.’

Complete silence followed Max’s statement. Everyone’s face registered sadness until anger came to the fore.

‘Oh, you poor bastard. It’s bad enough about yer brother but . . . but yer dad. That’s gross.’

People uttered sounds of support to Jason’s statement. A heavy painful atmosphere gripped the room. Max sat with shoulders heaving. Silent tears rolled down his face. His demeanour reflected a person who’d reached rock bottom. He seemed to sag in on himself. Did he have the energy to drag himself out of the mire? Jason thought no.

How could anyone do that to another human being? How could any father condone his son being used as a sex object? How could any father take money for services rendered? What about his mother; surely, she could’ve done something. And I thought my parents were cunts. But there’s a question that begs asking.

‘Max, something doesn’t add up. You said your folks were disgusted when they saw the photo but you also said your dad knew about the molesting. Surely he must’ve known you were gay?’

Max struggled to take control of his misery. He raised a teary face to Jason and,

‘Don’t you think I haven’t asked myself the same question . . . over, and over, and over. I don’t have an answer. All I know is he reacted badly when he found out I . . . I . . . was gay. If anyone has an answer . . .please . . . please.’

The room became silent, until,

‘Perhaps he knew all the time; as long as it stayed in the family you weren’t a problem, weren’t any embarrassment. But when outsiders found out, then that’s a different ball-game. Having an openly gay son reflected badly on him. A family secret suddenly became public humiliation, His adverse reaction wasn’t about you, but him.’

‘Charlie, I reckon you’re right. What you say makes sense. Max what . . . (Max nodded).’

‘Alright people, I think we’ve done enough today. I’m sure Max’s situation has touched us deeply. We want you to go away now by yourselves and study your Iceberg. Identify all the bad issues your recognised, and spend time in prayer. We want you to focus on how good it is to be normal. When sinful thoughts embrace you, such as same sex attraction, think only of the positives of being normal. Reject the bad, adopt the good.’

14.4 Jason talks to Charles

Leaving the meeting Jason grabbed Charles and drew him aside.

‘Just wanted to say how smart you were coming up with the suggestion about his dad. Spot on mate. Now I’m a bit concerned about Max; you’re his roomie and you need to watch him, I don’t like the way he looks or sounds. Has he said anything to you that might indicate his current mental condition?’

‘Nah, he’s a bit weird; very quiet and keeps to himself. But yer right, he needs watching. I’ll keep an eye on him as much as I can.’

‘What about you? What brought you to this fiasco?’

‘Well, my folks are well off and I reckon I were raised spoilt. I mean I knew I were gay like you . . . real early. I tried to cover by becoming introverted and surly. Thing is I like sex and went hunting at several sleazy places. One night I was at my favourite beat and got sprung by the cops. My dad’s a bigwig financial bloke in one of Australia’s biggest companies, so image is really important. He chucked a biggie when the cops called and told him I’d been nabbed sucking someone’s cock. Jeessus he went vile. My mom’s a social climber and the thought of scandal terrified her. I didn’t have a choice; they just booked me in here and, as they say, the rest is history.’

‘What do you think so far?’

‘It sucks!’

14.5 Ava and Ernie

‘Ernie I’m concerned about young Max. The group seemed to focus on his mental condition instead of helping him cure his homosexuality. I believe he’s ready for some intrusive treatment. We can use his mental recovery to plant seeds in his mind to enable him to reject any same sex attraction.’

‘Hey, you’re talking about electric shock treatment, aren’t you? You don’t think it’ll be dangerous to him? Right now, he’s very fragile.’

‘Maybe, but at the same time we must try everything to help the boy. I think shock therapy is right for Max now. Let’s set him up tomorrow; you’ll give him a sedative beforehand as the treatment requires. I don’t believe it’ll have to be very strong, given his current condition. I’ll leave it in your hands.’

‘Fair enough, but what about the set-up? Who’s going to wire him up and connect the photo apparatus?’

‘Leave that to Gavin; he’s done this frequently and knows what to do. Any questions?’

‘Just we’ll follow established procedure, right? Gavin will apply the shocks whenever a male torso appears, like we did last time.’

‘Yes, why do you ask? Are you trying to suggest a change?’

‘No! No, not at all. Just not wanting any loose ends.’

14.6 Ava asks for prayer

At breakfast next morning Ava made an unexpected appearance. Usually breakfast allowed for lively general conversation avoiding anything so do with the program. With Ava present banter became stilted.

Finishing her food Ava tapped a glass with a spoon and asked for quiet.

‘This morning we want everyone in the chapel. We’d like you to ask God for help with your task. (She started to hand out notepads and pens to each person) Please write down what you view as the positives you’ll enjoy once you’ve converted to a normal opposite sex attraction. You have twenty minutes to do this and then go straight into the chapel. Once there commune with Jesus and ask his help to attain the positives that you’ve listed. This is a process that we find very successful and we urge you to follow these guidelines. Now any questions?’

As the room remained quiet Ava departed, leaving the assembled to start making a list.

14.7 Max’s ordeal

Max sat, stripped down to his underwear, at a small table in a darkened room. He felt a little drowsy. Connected to his genitals were several small wired clamps. He wasn’t uncomfortable or cold because the room was warm.

At breakfast he barely heard Ava’s comments and started to follow the group when Ernie stopped him.

‘Let’s sit for a moment mate. I hope you’re feeling better because yesterday must’ve been hard for you. It’s not easy to air our deepest secrets out loud. I think you’re amazing the way you handled yourself. I wish I had your courage my friend.’

‘I don’t understand Ernie, I thought I made a mess of meself. I couldn’t stop crying and I think I made everyone miserable. I’m ashamed.’

‘Don’t be. When I came here, I was a mess, a real basket-case. You see I’m a country boy and being the eldest they expected me to take over the property. A substantial property no less. Believe me when I found meself liking boys I got scared . . . real scared. My parents are good Christians and pillars of the community. The local town and surrounds isn’t large but the people regard my family as leaders. Having a gay son would’ve been intolerable for the family. Also, as the property boss, I wouldn’t have any authority in the community; they would just laugh at me. If that weren’t bad enough, my family made it clear they ‘d ostracize me if I lived a gay life-style. Not just my parents mind you, but all my siblings were hostile. I had to do something Max; my situation became unbearable. Just when . . .’

‘Ernie, why are you telling me this. Is there something you’re trying to say?’

‘I’m getting to that. I just wanted you to know that others come here with a load of baggage not unlike your situation. In the end this place cured me, but not without some specialised treatment. Being desperate, even after convening with God, I asked if they had any other treatment to help me cure my affliction. That’s when they mentioned invasive therapy . . .’

‘Invasive therapy?’

‘Not as bad as it sounds; in fact, quite the opposite. It works like this. They place clamps gently around your body and sit you at a table in a darkened room. On a screen they flash images of male and female body parts. When shown a male image, a gentle current tells your brain that this is wrong. You don’t feel anything. The net result is any arousal by a male person or male body parts will not occur. The process is a total cure. I went through the procedure and now I’m only attracted to females. How does that sound?’

‘Won’t it hurt? What if something goes wrong? It sounds dangerous. I’m not sure . . .’

‘Max, your life up till now has been miserable hasn’t it? (Max nodded) Your future prospects aren’t good. When you ask about hurt, think about how much you’re hurting now. I can guarantee all that will be in the past. You’ll start a new life, a life where you’re accepted by parents, family and friends as a normal person. You’ll be able to hold your head high at last. No more misery.’

Max sat thoughtfully after Ernie stopped. After a little while,

‘I’m not sure, I don’t like pain . . .’

‘Max think; what have you got to lose? Think about what you’ll gain. Respect, acceptance, love and a positive future. I must tell you if you don’t try, you’ll probably go back to your previous miserable existence. Just give it a try Max, you’ll be a winner.’

He’d agreed. Now he waited expectantly for something to happen.

The screen came to life and showed a pair of woman’s shoes. Next came a handbag and with each following screen, articles of daily female attire appeared. Suddenly a male hand appeared; Max felt a slight tingling in his groin. The next few screens showed more female attire; as nothing happened Max started to relax. Then a young male head appeared and again a slight tingling. With almost boring repetition articles of female attire would appear, followed by something masculine. With each male article the tingling sensation increased. Max wasn’t uncomfortable as the tingling sensations were minor.

A woman’s beast then lingered on the screen. Suddenly a male torso flashed and a severe surge of electricity jolted Max out of his relaxed state. Pain flowed from his toes to the top of his scalp. A momentary respite as two large female breasts appeared. Then just as the pain subsided a pair of male testicles appeared; the resulting burst of electricity caused Max’s body to double over. He cried out, gasping for breath and started to cry.

‘Ahhh . . . Please, . . . aahh . . . please, no more! Stop . . . it! . . . I can’t . . . ‘

Near screaming with pain, he didn’t see the naked vagina but, in a daze, watched a fully erect penis relace the vagina. Another pulse, a bigger pulse, a longer pulse and pain engulfed him; he doubled over again, vomited, and fell off the chair writhing on the ground making incoherent sounds.

Something went horribly wrong. Ernie turned to Gavin the attendant in a panic,

‘What happened Gavin, why were the charges set so high?’

‘Not my doing! Ava told me to increase the final surges by 50% as she wanted to see how the lad would respond. I didn’t know he’d react like this; I feel awful.’

‘It’s not your fault. I’ll talk to Ava. In the meantime, can you get the lad back to his room. I’ll catch up with you later, OK?’

14.8 Jason reflects.

Jason needed to work. He missed the atmosphere and challenge of the workshop: the grimy overalls, the smell of grease, the company, and getting satisfaction from a job well done. He also missed Karl. Memory flashes of Karl’s bronzed knees, the close feel of his body at Billy’s home, the suggestive bulge in his swim costume at the beach, all kept invading his thoughts. Absence may make the heart grow fonder; it also makes your cock harder.

Now back in his room he started to have more vivid imaginings. Karl’s beautiful body lay naked on the bed, his eyes clouded over in lust. Admiring his tanned muscled body, Jason’s desire became unbearable. Pulling his legs back almost to his ears, Karl offered himself. Gently Jason teased the exposed hole and watched as Karl gasped with pleasure. Increasing the torment, he slipped one finger inside and twisted it gently around. This made Karl squirm and plead for more with his eyes.

Now Jason inserted two fingers and to his surprise Karl grabbed his hand and stabbed himself. Jason’s own cock dripped copiously, so he used a little lubricant to make a three-finger penetration easier.

Now; it had to be now. Neither partner could wait any longer. Karl grabbed Jason’s shaft and positioned the head to his satisfaction. A slight push and the engorged pole slipped effortlessly into Karl who, unhesitatingly, impaled himself on the full length. Jason paused and locked eyes with his lover. If there was any discomfort it didn’t show. A nod from the lad encouraged Jason to start pumping his tool slowly in and out . . .

A knock on his door jolted him out of his erotic dream. A quick glance at the time showed 1:45 am. Making sure his arousal wouldn’t be noticed, he opened the door to find an obviously distressed Charles in his pyjamas.

‘Sorry Jason but I’m worried about Max. He hasn’t stopped crying since they brought him back to the room. It’s weird. He’s not actually crying; well, he is, but it’s more like wailing or keening and he keeps mumbling about how bad he is. I’ve tried to comfort him but without success. I thought you might have more success. Can you come?’

‘Sure, let me get my gown.’

It shocked Jason to see Max in such a terrible state. He lay in his bed facing the wall with the bedding pulled over his head. His crying – if you could call it crying - sounded like he’d reached the depths of despair. The only cohereant sound being a steady warble of No, No, No. Jason quietly sat on the bed and placed his hand on Max’s covered shoulder.

‘C’mon mate, it’s Jason. Something bad’s happened to you and I need you to tell me. I’m not leaving here until you unload. Trust me I can help, but first you gotta help me to understand.’

For several moments nothing happened. then the sobbing sound decreased and Max’s form under the bedclothes began to stir. When he emerged it shocked both Jason and Charles to see the abject misery writ large on Max’s face. Red-rimmed eyes peered out from a deathly white face. Jason let Max pull himself together before encouraging the boy to unload.

‘Something’s happened hasn’t it boyo? Look no one else’s around it’s only Charles and me here; and I might add I’m not leaving until you open up.’

A much more calmed Max stared at both Charles and Jason; they both had a no-nonsense facial expression. With a faltering voice and several stoppages to maintain some semblance of control, Max stammered out his experience in the darkened room. When he finished, all Jason could say were,

‘I can’t believe they did that to you. Jesus Max, they actually fried you and led you to believe it were for yer good. Bastards! The bloody rotten bastards! Wait till I find Ernie . . . and the witch Ava. Can you remember where the room is?’

‘Yes, I think . . . why?’

‘Because I want to see if it’s still set up for torture. I want you to come with me Charles so later on we can both attest to the set up. Are you with me?’

So, with the time by now nearing 2:30 am, the three lads set out very quietly. It didn’t take Max long to locate the room and, as luck would have it, the slide projector, that table and the wired clamps apparatus hadn’t been hidden away. Jason and Max simply stared in disbelief at the proof before their eyes. Unfortunately, confronted by the implements of his earlier nightmare, Max started to shake.

Saddened, disillusioned and angry. they made their way quietly back to Max’s room.

Max appeared to be pale and comatose. They got him into bed and Jason turned to leave.

‘Charles keep an eye on him will you. I don’t like the way he’s reacting, but I’m not a doctor, so I simply don’t know what to do.’

‘OK, will do; but what do we do now? Having seen and heard what they did to Max, we can’t just ignore . . .’

‘We won’t. Let’s get some sleep now, and discuss our plans in the morning. I want to tell Tony what’s happened if it’s allright with you?’