MageCrafter - 14. Chapter 14

Within one of the many private dining quarters of the Bertolde Estate, two Noble teens were enjoying one of the most decadent and alluring meals they had experienced in a long while. The idea had struck Lord Baldric after he had noticed his poor little Lynxian was still having a quite hard time processing everything he had heard from the lesson plan he had given. This was perfectly understandable considering everything he had learned within that class session.

Kotik had seen the true horrors of the Dark Age Wars as it was recounted by the sea dwellers that were around at the time. A period of history where six armies led by truly evil Warlord MageCrafters each brought an apocalyptic threat into the world with their armies. Any one of them would have been considered an apocalypse, yet the Dark Age Wars had all of them happening at the same time.

Hoards of Zombies infecting citizens and screeching across the land. Legions of vampires who feasted on entire cities and flooded the skies with their winged forces. Ghosts that overran parts of the surface world and possessed any who were unfortunate enough to fall into their clutches. Mutated undead creatures in still other parts of the world with horrifying bodies that were suicide to fight head on with conventional weaponry. Babica Preja’s own Legion of living abominations and werewolves which spilled out of Preja Bog joined into this fray as well. All these horrors and more were present during the Dark Age Wars, and civilization itself crumbled because of their overwhelming numbers.

These armies of true horror created such a fever pitch of chaos and bloodlust upon the surface world that even with the valiant efforts of the heroes of old, the gods had to intervene by stripping the realm of an entire school of magic known as Necromancy. Necromancy which was the school responsible for allowing for interaction and communication with the dead and spirits. Spirits which included the Heralds of the Greater Pantheon that were used for direct communication with the various Deities. This had effectively cut off all direct contact between this realm of existence and the greater Pantheon.

What was worse, the Kingdom of Silbel was either wittingly or unwittingly setting the stage for a potential repeat of the Dark Age Wars thanks to their centralization of power by collaring all Magic Users and MageCrafters, which could result in a worst case scenario of The Greater Pantheon deciding this realm of existence was a lost cause and bringing armageddon upon it. Even the slightly less harsh outcomes such as the complete removal of all magic, and thus the authority of the gods upon the world which would leave the realm utterly forsaken and magicless was a scenario one would want to avoid at all cost.

All these heavy thoughts visibly overwhelmed his sweet Kotik, who not that long ago was only concerned with hunting wild game for his beloved Old Man’s Tavern. Or performing his duties as a server there with a smile and pride beaming from his every interaction with customers. As smart and full of potential as his lovely cat boy was, he was still one to be overwhelmed with fear and indecisiveness.

Which is why he was currently using his lovely Lynxian as a living food platter.
One might think such an idea would be a complete non sequitur, but when the Young Lord’s goals were to snap his little Lynxian out of his ever spiralling thoughts, Eat a meal with his lovely cat boy and his friend Count Raudh, and have some personal enjoyment at his favorite lynxian’s expense, employing such a tactic truly was the only course of action available to the young lord.

How else would one distract Kotik? Truly no other idea could possibly be posited!

Which is why Kotik was currently restrained in a completely ridgid position on a glittering and beautifully clear table of ice that had a thin yet quite strong lacework of restraints that covered him from head to toe, allowing for a perfect view of his slender body while restricting his lovely lynxian’s movements, even down to interlacing restraints between his adorable toes and fingers.

His body was currently covered in a splendidly colorful assortment of meats, fruits, and vegetables, each one strategically placed and lovingly displayed in alluring patterns by his personal harem. The boys knew how to set up such a boy platter quite well considering they had each had plenty of experience being one for the young lord as well as their fellow friends in the harem at one point or another. They had been so effective at their task that they had set up Kotik and had left the room long before Lord Baldric had returned with the Count.

Count Raudh had not been informed that he would be enjoying such a sight when he was invited to eat with Lord Baldric personally. His friend had simply said he wanted Raudh to join him and Kotik in having some lunch. Raudh had readily agreed, more than happy to spend time with the Lovely and Fairest of Lynxians again.

When he had opened the door to the dining quarters, he was utterly gobsmacked and aroused by the sight before him. That dainty beauty of a Giant blooded lad was upon a beautifully clear table of ice that shimmered in the sunlight that peered through the open windows. Adorning his body was the most scrumptious assortment of food items that Lord Baldric had given an extra dash of powdered ice to make each and every brightly colored food item sparkle and gleam like they were made of the finest of Gemstones. The flushed look on the currently gagged Kotik, who’s Beautiful blue eyes stared at the Young Count with the vaguest hints of water in his eyes was enough to awaken Count Raudh’s loins to full mast on the spot.

Kotik’s heart was thumping like mad at this new form of play that had never crossed his mind in his wildest of dreams. Having the two older teens pull up chairs around him in order to indulge in the meal that adorned his currently nude body that was so helplessly restrained had excited his small boyhood into aching attention. His tail was currently inserted through the table and pleasingly wrapped around the central pole that held it up, with the clear ice restraints only being visible by how the sunlight played off them.

“Fairest of Lynxians,” The count began with some excitement in his voice. His emerald eyes and his deeply tanned face looked longingly at Kotik, gazing upon Kotik’s compromised body with his mouth positively watering. “Your beauty is only magnified even further by this truly divine display before me! Never has a boy so thoroughly excited my loins as you have these past two days. I do believe that your splendidly alluring self might even crest over Lord Baldric in your ability to swoon the hearts of any noble lad who should lay eyes on you! For truly, no red blooded noble lad would be able to enter this dining hall and see one such as yourself in such a state and not be truly excited beyond words!”

Lord Baldric enjoyed the flush that grew on his Kotik’s face hearing those genuinely expressed words from the Count. Though Lord Baldric had chosen to leave this certain observation out when he had given his stern lecture to his adorable Lynxian; Baldric was able to glean during the fight in the Garden between the two giant blooded lads one of the hidden reasons why Kotik had attacked Count Raudh. Namely, the Lynxian found him so aggravating in part because he felt guilty about finding the ruby haired and deeply tanned muscular lad attractive.

He didn’t want to ‘cheat’ on Lord Baldric, which was one of the many complex items at play that had driven his Lynxian to attempt to flatten the Count where he stood. It was what had prompted Lord Baldric to ask Kotik if he found the Count ‘hot,’ and Kotik’s subsequent responses only confirmed his theory.

Now that Lord Baldric had so thoroughly given Kotik the go ahead to have such feelings since he was in an open relationship however, suddenly the Counts eloquent speech patterns were doing quite a number on his little Lynxian. So much so that Kotik was having a hard time forming words or thoughts after Lord Baldric had free’d his mouth. He remained like that for the first few minutes of their oh so enjoyable meal.

Kotik’s face was only blushing harder as the two nobles took turns slowly feeding the Lynxian when they weren’t eating themselves, taking the time to insert their fingers into the boys mouth who delightfully sucked on the proffered digits almost instinctively. Kotik was even more flustered as Lord Baldric engaged the Count in casual conversation on what he had been up too lately while barely looking down at the boy platter. Lord Baldric could do such a thing since he had vapor scrying items which were monitoring the scene from above and below, filling his noble ring with so many different perspectives of his sweet Kotik that he could afford to keep his attention on the Count.

The idea of being treated like a mere dinner plate however, some table to display food for nobles; Kotik’s brain was practically overheated with how this was working his brain up and playing into his long repressed desire to be shackled and helpless to someone who wouldn’t use that power to whip him.

“My father, Marquiss Eachaidh, recently held his seasonal Tournament Of Physical Prowess.” The young count excitedly told his friend while he slowly inserted a banana like fruit into Kotik’s mouth for him to enjoy, “A tournament I have, with great pride I might add, finally earned several bronze medals this time around! Including a silver medal for marathon running! Truly it was quite a stiff competition among my various siblings and cousins, but I had managed to eek out a third place finish in most of the challenges. Though some of them were dreadfully close and nearly caused sparring matches over who the actual winner was.”

Kotik looked at the young count with some interest in his gaze as he finally found a voice to speak through his embarrassed arousal at his current compromised position.

“You have siblings that are stronger than you?” The young Lynxian said, looking up at the Count with some surprise as he voiced those words. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met though! I’ve never had anything handle my punches or kicks like you did before! Normally they just crumple when I get a clean hit in on them. unless I’m fighting something like a Troll or a Chimera, I’ve usually only needed one good blow to kill something, and even then the tougher creatures tend to go down pretty quick if I have a weapon on hand like a hunter’s knife.”

“You have fought Trolls and Chimeras fairest Kotik?” Count Raudh said with much interest in his tone, leaning into the clear table as he looked down at Kotik. The cat boy flushed, but he nodded as best as he could in how he was situated.

“Oh yeah, lots of times! Chimeras are actually really delicious if you prepare their meat properly and get rid of all the poisonous stuff. Especially if you prepare them with some nicely minced and seasoned Potatoes, it’s actually quite good!”

It was the count's turn to flush as his heart quickened at what he had just heard. “You mean to tell me you not only hunt these beasts, you hunt them so regularly you have recipes for their meat?”

“Oh yeah! When I worked at the old man’s tavern I would hunt all kinds of monsters cause the other hunters didn’t want to touch them for some reason, and I figured out with The Old Man how to make them taste really good! Would you like to go hunting with me sometime?”

“It would be an honor to follow a beautiful lad such as yourself into battle against such creatures! Such a thought excites my Giants Blood quite a lot.”

“I uh...I’ve been meaning to ask.” Kotik said, now in the conversation so thoroughly he had completely edited out of his mind how he was currently situated before the two older teens. “What exactly do you mean by Giant Blooded? I’ve heard you say that a couple times now but I have no idea what it means. It doesn’t mean someone has Giant ancestry in their family right? Cause I’ve seen two giants now and I’m pretty sure there is no way whatever they have between their legs would fit.”

“You have been in the presence of two actual Giants fair Kotik?!” Count Raudh said with some alarm and amazement in his voice.

“Not exactly. Lord Baldric showed me two he's met through illusions. Babica Preja and the King Morcant of Triton.”

Kotik looked at Lord Baldric with some alarm, hoping he hadn’t spilled any secrets by accident, but Lord baldric sent him a message through his collar that only saying that much is fine and won’t compromise anything.

“Those are truly old giants, so I can understand where you would believe they would be incompatible with other humanoid races.’

Lord Baldric chimed in, inserting some fruit into the cat boy’s mouth as he asked the following question. “What exactly do you know about Giants My sweet Kotik?”

Kotik chewed on the fruit as he thought, enjoying the hands that caressed his body and looked for more food on his increasingly exposed flesh as he formulated his answer. He even let out some mild giggles when the hands touched some rather sensitive spots in his ribs, which the two teens noted with great interest while not exploring just yet.

“I know they are one of the races of humanoid that lives a long time. I’m pretty sure only the High Elves have longer lifespans, with one hundred years being equivalent to a single year of aging to a human.” Kotik took some strange red colored meat from Lord Baldric and cleaned the juices off of the older teen’s fingers before he went on talking, “ I also know there are different types of Giant, though I’m not sure of all the types myself. I do know some are much bigger than others. I’m actually pretty sure now that I’ve seen King Morcant that Babica Preja is probably one of the shorter types of Giant.”

Lord Baldric noted with great delight that his friend the Ruby haired count was exceedingly aroused by how Kotik had grown accustomed to being situated as he was, and Kotik had become so engrossed in the conversation that he barely noticed even with his Lynxian Ears no doubt picking up at least some of what Raudh was putting out there.

“There are actually two main types of Giant, Kotik. There are the giant races that were originally created by the various pantheons in charge of creating life, and then there are the giants who are the children of Deities who created an Avatar on this world mated with someone, which ended up having them bear a child by accident, as they are not supposed to have kids in this realm like that according to Greater Pantheon Internal Laws and Regulations. Babica Preja is a natural giant, King Morcant is the Child of a Water Deity descended from the Goddess Muirenn who mated with one of the citizens of Triton.”

“Wait what?! I thought he said he wasn’t a god!?” Kotik said, sticking his head up in some bafflement towards Lord Baldric and actually breaking some of the restraints holding his head in place. Count Raudh became even more aroused at this, as it revealed that Kotik could quite literally get up whenever he wanted with his strength, and that the restraints were more to control unintentional squirming and not deliberate attempts to get free.

Kotik was willingly choosing to be that lunch platter, but was playing into the idea of being restrained for the fun of it. The Young Count squirmed in his seat in excitement at the very thought.

“He’s not,” Lord Baldric said with a nod, enjoying the revelation that played on the Counts features on the other side of Kotik while not outwardly acknowledging it. “He is a type of Giant called a Gigantes, or a child of a deity who is bound to this realm of existence due to being born to one mortal parent and an Avatar of a Deity, usually one of the sex crazed male gods of the Greater Pantheon.”

Both Kotik and Count Raudh shot Lord Baldric with very flat and judgemental looks, though for the life of him he could not possibly figure out why! The thoroughly innocent Lord Baldric continued as if he had not noticed their truly warrantless looks of judgement at his description of certain deities! These are false and salacious charges, your honor!

“They usually bear the trappings of their earth parent while possessing some of the power and authority of the deity who sired them in a gifting of Attunement slots outside of the ones one would receive in a MageCrafter or Magic User title. That is why King Morcant looked like his fellow citizens of Triton while being so much larger than they were.”

“Gigantes end up getting significantly bigger than natural Giants over their lifespan,” Continued Lord Baldric, dipping something bright red into some delicious cream that was situated around Kotik’s stomach near his belly button, “as even the bigger Natural giants only crest at about one hundred twenty feet tall, while King Morcant is decidedly much larger than that.”

“There hasn’t been that type of giant in a long time however, not since the heroes of old,” Count Raudh chimed in. “However both types of Giant start out human sized during the first part of their life and get gradually bigger over time. Natural Giants cap out at their races' usual height limits, whereas Gigantes just keep getting bigger their entire life. Babica is a Hill Giant right Baldric?”

“We’ve taken to referring to her as a Hag Giant due to her Magic User Class being a Hag and her MageCrafter Dominion being what it is.” Lord Baldric said even as he fed his Lynxian some grapes on a vine a bit at a time. Count Raudh desperately wanted to be those grapes at that moment.

“However, yes,” Lord Baldric went on, draping the grapes across Kotik’s face sensually and letting the lad suck the ones he wanted into his mouth, “I do believe her actual race is Hill Giant. Her Magic User title of Hag and MageCrafter Dominion are what lead her to prefer her Bog Lair over where you’d normally find her kind however.”

“So I’d imagine Giant Blooded people would be born by young giants having sex with another race while they are still human sized early in life?”

“Correct my brilliant little Lynxian!” Lord Baldric praised, “during that relatively short time where they are human sized, there is a small window of opprotunity for Giants to mate with other races. Typically humans since we are the most numerous as well as the most sexually available of the races in this realm.”

“Human sex drives are quite legendary in that regard.” Count Raudh agreed with a nod, “It’s because both Giants and humans are so impulsive and emotion driven that we Giant Blooded do not tend to live all that long. The battle lust of both our races melded together just compels us to fight till we end up getting killed by something before we even get old enough to have offspring.”

Kotik nodded in immediate understanding at this, feeling like this answered questions about himself that he had only vaguely asked. Questions like why he enjoyed taking on such strong opponents as Trolls and Chimera and the like, or some of his actions as the Silbel Strangler.

“How has your family managed it?”

“We direct our battle lust into competition! As well as the training we received as practitioners of the sacred art of the Barbarian. But first… Fairest of Lynxians.” Count Raudh breathed out as he tried to painfully adjust his oh so erect shaft from where he was seated. He was getting excited to the point where he wasn’t sure if he could hold out much longer.

“I have a desperately worded request to ask of your splendid self this fine day,” He had an almost pleading look on his face as he looked down at the Lynxian, “for I’m in great need.”

“Sure,” Kotik said simply, “but only if you do me a favor first.” Kotik said this to the Count with something akin to a puppy dog expression. An expression that made the Noble lad flush redder and tremble harder than he ever had in his life. His knees were positively hopping underneath the clear table and made the floor shake in how turned on he was.

“Any request you would have of me will surely be granted with the greatest of haste oh most divine of Lynxians!” strangled out Count Raudh.

Kotik turned up the power of his puppy dog eyes while biting his lower lip, “Well, you see,” he said coyly, looking between the two Nobles with its full power on display, “I’ve had all this food but…” His voice took on a pleading tone, “ I’ve just had nothing to wash it down with.”

Lord Baldric went beet red at that.

He vaguely wondered what manner of Arch-Incubus he might have unwittingly unleashed upon the world. The Young Lord’s friend wasn’t faring much better, The count’s sweat was practically steaming with how beside himself he was with inflamed arousal.

“A-At once Fair Kotik!” The Ruby haired lad squeaked out, only too eager to hike his Kilt up and present his immense girth to his parched throat. Lord Baldric meanwhile immediately went down for his desert that was Kotik’s boyhood, taking him within his mouth balls and all. At the same time his Sweet Kotik was managing as best as he could from his position on the table to inhale the tip of Raudh’s immense girth in between his lips.

The Lunch had ended up becoming quite messy after that point, but there was not a lad within that dining chamber that didn’t enjoy themselves thoroughly after it was all said and done.

*** 

Years ago, back when Lord Baldric and Shahnaz had worked as the ill fated crime fighting duo the criminal world knew as The Faceless Wight, they had devised several magic non intensive methods of scrying called the SilverBugs. These Silverbugs, made of the tiniest drops of silver, fed information to an illusory orb as well as the Noble Ring of Lord Baldric and collar of Shahnaz.

This prototype paired magic items design from so long ago had been rapidly developed and improved since its inception and the reach and breadth of its intelligence gathering abilities has only been upgraded exponentially since then.

Hidden in the air covering the breadth of the Bertolde estate and the leagues of land surrounding it are highly specialized, highly cloaked vapor magic items managed by innumerable parallel minds of Lord Baldric, which had developed far past the seven that Shahnaz had been gawking about back when they were mere children playing at being vigilantes. If the Silbel government had any inkling of the vast number of near invisible vapor magic items that teemed in the air for leagues around the Bertolde Estate, as well as within the undersea kingdoms with authorization from their various rulerships, they would almost certainly try to collar the young Noble, international scandal be damned.

More and more of these expansive resources have been dedicated to finding out more about one particular person. Yet the more they scry’d and gathered intelligence the more the parallel Baldrics were coming up with no substantive answers as to who this increasingly mysterious figure was.

He had no name to speak of. Not once was one ever uttered to anyone. The Parallel Baldrics even sent in illusory projections of nondescript travelers who had something of physical substance so they could do simple things like give a simple handshake without drawing attention to themselves. This despite the fact they were just some water vapor and some cleverly textured and softly pliant ice that mimicked skin. It worked well enough for people who weren’t really paying attention. All this in an effort to do some digging on who this elusive person was.

Still nothing substantive. The Central Baldric had quite literally got more out of just talking with Kotik about him than the increasing amount of resources he was putting into divining who this weirdly secretive figure was. He had learned that this person knew how to prepare Babica Preja’s monstrous creations into actually delicious food, even teaching Kotik how to remove the poison out of Babica’s Chimeras.

Perhaps he was an adventurer in the past? That didn’t explain how tight lipped he was about his name. Silbel Noble Rings were giving periodic updates on wanted criminals' appearances, and he wasn’t setting off any of those alarms from what brief glimpses he got of the illusive man.

Who is this guy? Who is The Old Man of Old Mans Tavern?

The utter lack of information that surrounded his identity was more alarming than the council of Parallel Minds that had been assigned to handle this investigation cared to admit. Each one of them tried their utmost to figure out where this Old Man’s hometown was, if he had kids, anything at all that could hint to him having a life outside of this seemingly normal Tavern.

Yet the more he looked into this old man, the more it seemed like he and his tavern had just showed up one day some time before Kotik had arrived in the area from his travels across Silbel. The building and the man just showed up one day and nobody seemed to question it. He was just The Old Man of the Old Man’s Tavern, and that’s all there was to it. Stop asking questions.

That is the general vibe surrounding his Old Man.

Stop asking Questions. Just accept that he is The Old Man of Old Mans Tavern and go about your business. Local and wandering travelers would just take this as a mildly eccentric grumpy old guy who didn’t like to socialize and just shrug it off. You could mention him all day and never get a questioning gaze out of anyone.

Anyone except Lord Baldric, who had begun to investigate this old man as soon as it had struck him as odd that even Kotik didn’t know his real name. Now he was certain there was something very strange about all of this.

Yet he wasn’t sure how to handle it either. How do you plan for an audience you know next to nothing about? When he worked in the Bavaram circus, Lord Tugast revealed to him that they sent scouts to towns before the Circus showed up, and those scouts would blend into the background and gather information on the locals and what their current events are. The scouts would bring back assessments on which acts would work well in those particular cities, which acts would be taken poorly due to local customs or opinions, and other crucial information to specially craft the Circus Performance to be the absolute best experience that town or city could ever have.

Lord Baldric had taken those lessons to heart in his time as the Faceless Wight, and continued to serve him very well as Lord Baldric Total Dominion MageCrafter of Water. His investigative prowess and being able to effectively assess his audience and what they would find entertaining in any aspect of life was honed to such a degree specifically because of his network of information gathering items and parallel minds that managed and processed that information before sending that refined into his Noble’s Ring for memorization and later use. It was how he figured out exactly what Kotik would enjoy and not enjoy in the bedroom and specially craft his love making experiences to be everything the Lynxian could dare to dream. That was just what effort he put into personal enjoyment. For he loved to entertain and will go to great lengths to make sure that he does it right.

So it is especially alarming to Lord Baldric’s parallel minds when they are gleaning next to nothing on this Old Man of Old Mans Tavern. It was so difficult to parcel out anything about this Old Man that he could only assume the lack of any information at all about him was intentional. It was the only explanation that made sense.

Which is why later that evening, one of the parallel mind Baldrics chose to use an illusory projection item made of vapor and ice warmed and textured like living flesh to infiltrate the old man’s tavern and figure out what was really going on.

“Y’all finally finished spyin on mah place of business, whipper snapper?”

The parallel Baldric was disguised as an old woman, and he was the only other person within the tavern besides The Old Man. The fact the old man knew of his efforts when they had been so thoroughly and painstakingly hidden alarmed the Parallel Baldric enough that he tried to back out of the tavern.

Except the door wasn’t there anymore, and the Tavern had suddenly been sealed so tight that moisture could neither enter or escape.

“Oh don’t go yet boy.” Said the old man, still wiping down the table, “We haven’t even had a chance to chat yet.” The wood the Tavern was made of seemed to change subtly to a darker more menacing hue. “And ah so want to chat with you, Youngster.”

The parallel Baldric dropped his disguise as the old woman and turned around to look at the old man.

This was not good at all. He had no information on this old man at all, and he seemed to have all the cards in his hand. The Old Man finished wiping down that particular table and moved onto the next one, never looking directly at the illusory projection of the Parallel Baldric.

“Ah gotta hand it to ya boy, ya’ll at the very least got ah grasp on y’all’s shortcomin’s. Them scoldins y’all got from Muerinn’s Grandkid Morcant did ya’ll some good at least.”

The old man turned his gaze over his shoulder, revealing to the Parallel Baldric eyes that radiated green power quite similar to the way Morcant’s eyes look. The old man looked like a haggard retired adventurer with a scar running down the side of his face that led all the way into his tunic.

The Old Man flashed a menacing grin at the illusory youngster. “How did y’all say it to mah boy. ‘That thing between my legs gets me into more trouble than I care to admit.’ Ah had to laugh at that! Cause my boy, y’all were never more right than you were when you said that statement.”

The Old Man gave the Parralel Baldric a sarcastic wave as he moved on to the next table.

“Consider me the living embodiment of that trouble y’all mentioned. Cause that modestly sized cock got you into a world of Trouble, let me tell ya whipper snapper. Least it would have if y’all didn’t have so much Bureaucratic red tape round yer damn soul. Yer damn lucky you're a Vicar of a Sub-Pantheon I’m allied with. Cause trust me, ah got plenty of space in mah hell for the like’s of y’all.”

The parallel Baldric gulped, even though the illusory body didn’t require such an action. The mind just performed that action instinctively as he shook in the presence of This Old Man.

“Y-you’re an Avatar of a God.”

“Them Water deities told me y’all were smart!” The Old Man said in mock praise with a smirk playing on his face as he cleaned off the table. “Y’all got it in one boy. Ahm the God of Oak, sometimes known as the Antlered God, Old Man Green, Father of all Dryads, but to y’all, I’m just…”

The Tavern suddenly grew black as spikes of wood grew everywhere, surrounding the illusion and having their razor sharp points get JUST close enough to make his point clear.

“...Kotik’s Old Man.” He finished with his voice getting so much deeper than his usual raspy speaking voice he had been using up to that point.

Parallel Baldric’s eyes dilated in fright, even being an illusory projection as he was. This was in part due to him being forcibly connected with Central Baldric through some powerful use of magic, and he had a gut instinct that if this Deity wanted to he could smite Baldric right there on the spot.

As suddenly as it came the Tavern returned back to normal as he grabbed one of his Tavern’s chairs and sat on it backwards and looked at the Youngster with a smirk.

“What’s the matter, whipper snapper…” His grin only grew wider as the energy in his eyes flared up, “Ah thought y’all liked Big Reveals?”

“K-Kotik is a Gigantes, n-not giant blooded…”

A huge menacing grin played on the deeply shadowed Old Man’s face as his eyes glowed even brighter.

“Y’all just keep on figurin stuff out huh? Ah’d find it cute if y’all weren’t fuckin my boy.” His voice grew ever deeper and more menacing as his grin turned into a deep scowl.

Oh shit.

“Do y’all have any idea how hard it is to get an Avatar approved for anything other than a brief visit youngster?” the Old Man said in a deathly calm tone. “Let me tell y’all, the bureaucracy of the Greater Pantheon makes y’all backwards surface nations look downright permissive. Yet ah went through all the hemming and hawing to get an extended avatar visit. Do you want to know why whipper snapper?”

The old man got up and put the chair up like he was closing up shop for the day, and he proceeded to do that with other chairs as he kept talking.

“About thirteen years and nine months ago, give or take a few days, Ah spotted the hottest lynxian broad this realm had ever spat out. Ah’m tellin ya youngster, this Lynxian was the finest piece of Cat Gal Ass Ah done ever laid eyes on. Gorgeous blue eyes, Almond colored hair, a bangin body, she had it all boy.”

More chairs got stacked up on tables as The Old Man reminisced. “She was kinkier than a damn succubus too let me tell ya what. Mah boy gets all that from his mom, long with them looks of his.”

He went behind the bar and began to wipe down the counter. “Ah had an Avatar visit saved up, and ah thought, Fuck it, I’m randy, she’s down for anythin, lets get this party goin! Got my ass down there real quick with a handsome as hell avatar to woe the Lynxian off her feet and bed her right there.”

He leaned over the counter and clicked his tongue as he shook his head. “Ah thought maybe cause Ah made mah avatar a human ah wouldn’t have ta worry bout her gettin pregnant after. NOPE. This Old Man was packin some plantin seed that day and knocked that Lynxian right up.”

He glowered at the illusory Baldric. “Except ah didn’t know it at the time. There’s a reason there’s a whole greater pantheon, cause we all can’t have our eye on this realm all the damn time.”

The wood around the tavern grew increasingly dark and menacing now.

“Then when I found out I did have a kid with the Lynxian broad, I found out she had died cause mah boy came out the womb flailin about too damn hard for his own good cause of his old man’s strength. If that wasn’t bad enough, I come to find out this fuckin piece of shit country has been traumatizing my ME Damned boy since before he even fuckin knew how to walk! Treatin my boy, MY BOY, like some slave they could whip for their perverse amusement!”

His voice was pitched so dark and was so loud that it made the Tavern tremble with his unbridled rage.

“You best believe every son of a bitch my boy ever choked out is currently suffering an eternity of torment the likes of which you cannot possibly fathom whipper snapper.” The Tavern returned to normal as he poured himself some alcohol, “His Mom is being treated nice though, she didn’t deserve to go out like that, it was the least I could do.”

He knocked back a shot of alcohol and poured himself another glass as he kept talking, Ignoring the frightened look in Parallel Baldric’s gaze.

“So, ahm in the realm of wood, and Ahm feelin just guilty as fuck seein my poor boy sufferin like he be down here. So ah figured out where he was headen, and ah petitioned to have an avatar for an extended stay to try and give my boy some semblance of a reasonable childhood. The stipulation was Ah couldn’t reveal ah was his dad to him, had to keep that a secret. Ah got slick with them beurocrats tho, cause ah named this Avatar ‘The Old Man.’ so that way the boy would call me his Old Man without even realizin what he was sayin.”

He laughed at that as he took another swig of alcohol.

“The Lad, toughest spirit ah ever did see in him, would hear nothin about havin room and board fer free. Wanted employment like a fine upstanding lad he is. Ah gives it to him too. Ah teach him all sorts of things and let him have fun playin at bein a server. He was thumpin good at it too! Actually made quite a lot of coin with him workin there even though ah didn’t need it none.”

Another glass of alcohol was poured lazily into his shot glass as he stared into the far off wall. “While ahm down here, ah catch wind of some moves the Water Pantheon be makin against this Me Damned country, and they even went and spotted some human brat from a strategically good location in this governments hierarchy. A brat who had the drive and brains to actually pull off turnin this country round from the brink.”

His glowing green eyes pulsing with energy turned to the illusion of Parallel Baldric.

“The Goddess of illusion he was Subject to vouched for this brat as well, sayin he was one of the most creative subjects she ever did have under her rulership. Hell, even heard some good shit out of the God of Silver who felt bad as fuck for this starved Tiefling youngster the second he caught wind of her and arranged for her to be taken in by that same brat’s estate.”

He turned around and leaned the small of his back against the bar as he wiped out his shot glass with soapy water. “Ah’m thinkin, Fuck yeah lets get some things changed around here. Why ah got my youngin right here and he’s thumpin smart too. Maybe y’all would work well together. Turns out y’all are like two peas in a pod according to the angels we had to divine how your paths would look if you’d ever meet. Hell y’all even have a birthday a day apart from one another.”

He glowered at the far off wall as he continued. “Ah couldn’t get the rest of the wood pantheon on board though. They were already annoyed with me havin a damn kid in this realm and ah had twisted a lot of arms to get this extended stay with this avatar. Mah good graces were kinda in short supply among my fellows.”

His eyes flashed the brightest they had ever been up to this point and all light was sucked out of the room as a truly god like voice erupted within the confines of the Tavern, dropping the persona of the old man entirely as he did so.

“Then one night when mine own son was out adventuring with two humans, those vile men had the arrant gall to kidnap mine son and assay to sell mine child into slavery!” Lord Baldric’s Illusion trembled and fell to his knees as how bright the light out of the Deity’s eyes was as it ranted in an ancient dialect, “WORSE! They were mocking Mine Son, jeering at Mine Son and bidding him with Shame itself! The entire Pantheon of Wood known their words towards one of our own issue and the rage that sprang up from our realm was like nought we felt since Dark Ages past!”

The Tavern reverted to normal as The Old Man reverted to his persona of his current Avatar, “Needless to say youngster, we done approved mah boy quite expeditiously after the words that came out of those two’s mouths. We also through our full support into the Water Pantheons efforts into turning things around in Silbel before it gets real bad.”

The old man grinned, “Mah boy had other plans though. That thumpin smart youngin with them gifted ears of his figured out how to mask his presence from y’alls Maids, and Ah wasn’t bout to blow mah cover none. So ah let him hang about. Now mah boy was tight lipped about things about himself, but that Tiefling of yers was a crafty broad and she managed to get out of my boy that his birthday was comin up. Ah snatched on that real quick and tried to get one planned before y’all got him.”

The Illusion of baldric pressed his ice body up against the wall as the Deity suddenly appeared right before him and glowered at him right into his eyes with his own.

“But then y’all couldn’t wait even a few fuckin hours and let me give my damn boy his FIRST FUCKIN BIRTHDAY PARTY IN HIS ME-DAMN LIFE! Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN GREEDY AND GRABBED HIM BEFORE HE EVEN GOT A CHANCE! Y’ALL'S BUTLER EVEN JOKED ABOUT HIM BEIN YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT! I WANTED TO SMITE THE DAMNABLE LOT OF YOU ON THE FUCKING SPOT! BUT I’M THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED YOU LOT IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE TO THE WOOD PANTHEON! MADE ME FEEL LIKE A DAMNED IDIOT! I’M THE ONE WHO PUSHED THE ALLIANCE WITH THE WATER PANTHEON! ALL I FUCKIN WANTED WAS TO THROW MY DAMN BOY A BIRTHDAY PARTY ONE FUCKING TIME BEFORE YOU GOT HIM AND I HAD TO GO BACK, AND INSTEAD YOU END UP FUCKING HIM ON YOUR OWN ME DAMN BIRTHDAY INSTEAD!”

The Old Man slammed his palms on either side of the illusory Baldric, which he realized with some horror he couldn’t undo himself because the deity was keeping him there exactly as he was.

“Now, I will give you credit where credit is due boy.” He seethed into Parallel Baldric’s face as he stared him down. “Mah son likes y’all a whole lot, and y’all put a lot of time and effort into figuring out what the lad likes and doesn’t like. Ah can appreciate that. Ah’m not an unreasonable God.”

He whispered his next words in such a deep pitch that it made Central Baldric’s skin erupt in goosebumps, “And y’all will continue to make mah boy the happiest damn lynxian he can be with you too, cause if you break my boy’s heart I will make it my personal mission to see every right and privilege granted to you stripped away and let Muirenn’s grand-kid send you mah way. And trust ah will create a hell just for y’all. Now…”

He gripped the illusory Baldric by the throat, which caused the central Baldric to choke and float in the air back in his estate as he said these next words.

“Y’all are going to tell mah boy that y’all want to take him to The Old Man’s Tavern, and y’all’re going to tell him The Old Man and y’all planned a Birthday Party for him to make up for the one he missed because of y’all's impatient ass. Y’all’re going to make it sound like y'all've been planning this for awhile and y'all're going to act super Me Damn romantic about it. Y'all're going to do so because we both Love our Sweet Kotik very much.”

The Old Man got even closer.

“Y’all are also not going to breathe a fuckin syllable of mah true identity towards him. Y’all’re also going to get him a very thoughtful gift from the both of us because Y’all’re a fuckin rich brat and y’all will figure out what would be best nice and quick. Y’all will do so with every ounce of that showmanship training y’all love to brag about so much, and then y’all will continue to keep mah boy just as happy as he has been from now on.”

He patted the illusions cheek, which was felt by the Central Baldric.

“Welcome to the family son.” With a flick of his wrist, Baldric was sent flying across his room into a wall back into his estate, just hard enough to let him know that The Old Man could have done so much harder than he did. The illusion of baldric was banished from the Old Man’s tavern, and the rest of the magic items in the air around that tavern was pushed away with great force as the Tavern regrew its door and resumed its normal appearance.