Gone Away, Gone Ahead - 40. Half the Story

D’gar sat on his usual bench overlooking the feeding grounds, watching as Herebeth took down his second ovine of the morning. H’rek was off helping fill firestone sacks for the next Fall. He’d need to work out the shifts for that one later. His Wing was scheduled for clean-up duty, so he also had to decide which of his Wingseconds and riders would be working on that. It should be fairly easy; pasture rather than forest, so good visibility and no problems moving around to help the ground crews deal with any burrows.

There was another task he had to do as well. He needed to go and see F’lar and tell him his decision. There was no point in putting it off any longer. He’d thought about it enough; considered all the pros and cons until they chased each other’s tails around his mind. However, even such a far-reaching decision regarding his future paled against what he now knew about F’drun. He’d spent a lot of the night thinking about that, while H’rek slept peacefully beside him.

He’d already known F’drun was ambitious and had schemed to become a Wingleader at High Reaches. Now he was befriending young, impressionable bronze riders and making them do his dirty work in order to climb even higher. Doubtless he’d promise them the Wingleaders positions they were unlikely to get any other way as a reward, just as in the story he’d told. S’fyn’s information that they were to start practising their blocking tactics by disrupting green flights worried him. It wasn’t just that dragons could be hurt, although that wasn’t a pleasant thought. No, it also tied in to the threat F’drun had made the last time they met. He’d bet a good few marks that F’drun intended to interfere with Rioth’s next mating flight, which was very likely to happen while she was next on duty in the south. If Herebeth chased her, he would almost certainly end up getting a battering from a couple of hefty Benden bronzes. His dragon needed to be warned about that, nearer the time. And he should warn H’rek as well. But then H’rek would be even more concerned about the forthcoming flight than he already was. Even without any interference, it wasn’t certain Herebeth would catch Rioth again. He’d tried to prepare H’rek for that possibility, but he didn’t seem to want to listen.

Herebeth tore at the ovine’s flesh, his muzzle red with the animal’s blood. D’gar visualised it as F’drun and had a moment’s satisfaction from the thought. As he watched, a shadow passed overhead. He caught a glimpse of golden hide as Ramoth descended and Lessa slid down carefully. As her dragon flew off to feed she made her way over to join him.

‘Ramoth’s hungry again,’ she said, by way of greeting. ‘Although she’s full of eggs, so it’s not surprising.’

‘How are you getting on with…?’ He glanced toward her belly, which didn’t look much rounder yet. Mind you, Lessa was so tiny she’d probably not get very large until quite late in her pregnancy.

‘Still nauseous. I’m used to it by now.’ She sighed. ‘At least there’s something to look forward to at the end of it all.’

‘That’s true.’ He kicked at the dusty ground, not wanting to meet her eyes. Lessa had a way of looking at you that made you think she could see inside your head. He didn’t need that, right now.

‘So, have you made up your mind yet?’

Obviously, she would know about the offer. ‘More or less. I was going to go and see the Weyrleader later on, once Herebeth’s done here.’

Ramoth neatly broke the neck of a large herdbeast, then settled to eat. D’gar tried to think of something to talk about that wasn’t to do with the job offer or F’drun. It took a while, but at last he found it. ‘Those two lads from Bitra seem to be settling in.’

‘I’m glad.’ Lessa said. ‘It’s good to know folk can find refuge here. Who knows, they might be standing for Ramoth’s clutch in a couple of months.’

He’d not thought of that. ‘Are they old enough?’

‘Both fourteen Turns, I’m told. They look younger through malnutrition. Manora will soon put that right.’

‘We weren’t allowed to stand until we were fifteen,’ he commented.

‘Really? F’lar and F’nor were both younger than that when they Impressed. F’nor was only ten Turns.’

That was far too young, D’gar thought. But of course, it had been during an Interval, when there might be a long wait between clutches, especially with only one queen dragon at Benden. ‘Well, we couldn’t join a Wing until we were sixteen, so if you had very young lads Impressing, they’d have to be held back a long time. Waste of resources.’

‘Hmm.’ She seemed to think about that. ‘We Searched older lads for the last clutch, but that was because we needed them in a hurry. I can see your point, though. Ten is on the young side.’

‘Especially when their dragons mature so fast and start to mate. Not really fair on the boys, is it?’ He wondered if he should have mentioned that, but she was Weyrwoman, after all, not some delicate Holder lady.

Lessa watched her dragon feed for a while. ‘I was scared to death when Ramoth first rose,’ she said, quietly. ‘No-one had really told me anything, apart from not to let her gorge. It was… overwhelming.’

Of course. He’d heard the story of how the previous Weyrwoman had died before Lessa even Impressed. She’d had to adapt to Weyr life without much help. He didn’t imagine that R’gul had been a very sympathetic instructor.

‘A lot of youngsters don’t know much about it either,’ he said. ‘That’s the trouble with having Hold or Craftbred lads Impress. Especially if they end up with greens.’

‘Maybe if they had a good Weyrlingmaster they’d be better informed.’

He risked a quick glance and a smile. ‘I’d better go and talk to F’lar. Herebeth looks as if he’s eaten enough. He’ll want to go and sleep it off.’

‘I’ll join you in the council room as soon as Ramoth’s stuffed herself. He’s in there now, working on those charts again.’

D’gar made his way up the steps, feeling almost as nervous as he did before Fall. Lessa had been right. F’lar was concentrating hard on drawing straight lines across his chart with a rule. ‘Take a seat. I’ll be with you shortly.’ He finished carefully, blowing on the ink to dry it, then surveyed his handiwork. ‘If only there was a more efficient way to get things like this copied and sent around,’ he mused.

‘Is it nearly finished?’

‘As much as it can be, right now. I’ll have to fill in the rest of the southern continent as we explore it.’ He stretched, his joints popping. ‘Hurts my shoulders after a while.’

‘I’m not surprised.’

‘Klah?’

‘I never say no to klah. My mother taught me that. Never pass up the chance for a mug of klah or a piss, she used to say.’

F’lar laughed. ‘Well, one increases the need for the other.’ He stood and went over to the service shaft. ‘Pot of klah and some mugs, please,’ he called, his voice echoing. ‘So, have you made up your mind?’

D’gar nodded. ‘I talked it over with H’rek, thought about it quite a lot. Then I asked R’feem what he thought as well.’

The service shaft rumbled as the order was delivered. ‘And…?’ F’lar asked.

‘You’ve got yourself a Weyrlingmaster. Well, as long as T’ron agrees to my transfer.’

He carried the tray over. ‘I wouldn’t think there’ll be a problem. After all, you’d not be going back to Fort for a while, even if you were just staying with the Wing.’

‘No. They sent us here because we weren’t needed anyway.’ D’gar wondered if F’lar knew about Fort’s current opinion of Benden. Probably not. T’ron and Mardra would put on smiling faces when they met the other Weyrleaders. He stirred some sweetener into his klah. ‘I spent a couple of months at Telgar back in the past, but that was just a secondment rather than a transfer. I grew up at Fort Weyr. It feels odd to be leaving it.’

‘I’m sure. I grew up in this Weyr and I’ve never lived anywhere else.’

‘Well, you wouldn’t have been able to until recently. “Empty, open, dusty, dead. Why have all the weyrfolk fled?” ‘

F’lar groaned. ‘If I hear that Question Song once more it’ll be one too many times.’ He took a sip of klah. ‘When did you hear it? It wasn’t even written until after you came forward.’

‘I’ve been trying to learn some of the newer Teaching Ballads. Don’t want to end up teaching youngsters out-of-date information.’

There were footsteps on the stairs and Lessa appeared. ‘I thought I could smell fresh klah.’

‘Would you believe our new Weyrlingmaster has been studying already.’

She poured for herself. ‘So, you decided to accept? I’m glad.’

‘I need to carry on leading the Wing until R’feem’s fit again.’ He thought he should make that clear.

‘Of course,’ F’lar said. ‘How long does he think it’ll be?’

‘Another few sevendays.’

Lessa nodded. ‘We can wait. Ramoth’s still a good month off laying her eggs. Once she’s done that, then we can see about finding enough candidates. Do you think some of the other Weyrs might send some over?’

‘Possibly. Although they’ll want to keep enough lads of the right age for their own clutches.’

‘Well, we can Search again if we have to.’

‘I think we should stick with the older boys,’ Lessa offered. ‘D’gar’s already given me some good reasons why. We’re in a Pass now and need them to be ready to start fighting Thread once the dragons are sufficiently mature.’

‘Sixteen was always the minimum age to join a Wing at Fort. Is it the same here?’ D’gar asked.

F’lar nodded. ‘Yes, we kept it at that even during the Interval. Although there were a few exceptions made if someone progressed quickly enough.’

‘I’d rather not do that, if it’s all right with you. It’s bad for Weyr morale to see too many young folk die.’ Those first few months in a Wing were the most dangerous. Young riders and dragons thought they were indestructible. All too often, they were proved wrong.

F’lar and Lessa glanced at each other. ‘I understand,’ the Weyrleader said. ‘That’s another reason we wanted you to take the job. We’ve seen the statistics in old records; you’ve lived through it.’

There was a slightly awkward pause, broken by Lessa. ‘You’ll probably want to take a look at the barracks,’ she said. ‘We had them tidied up before Ramoth laid her first clutch but they weren’t used for long before everyone got sent south. F’nor can show you around.’

‘Excellent.’

‘We’ll announce your appointment at dinner,’ F’lar said. ‘That should give you time to let your wing riders know what’s happening so it doesn’t come as a total surprise.’

‘Thank you. I’d like to try and make the transition as smooth as possible.’

‘We’ll contact T’ron and ask for your transfer to be approved. It shouldn’t take long before you can change the colour of those knots.’ F’lar gestured toward his shoulder. ‘That way, everyone will accept you as a Benden rider long before the Hatching.’

It would also mean he was bound by Benden rules. He wasn’t sure how they’d feel about him flying off to Southern Weyr every few days to see H’rek, or what would happen when Rioth rose to mate. ‘Um, one thing I wanted to ask about. I know H’rek’s going to be back down south shortly and Rioth’s probably going to rise while she’s there. Do I have permission to take time off when it happens? Threadfall permitting, naturally.’

‘Of course. He’s your weyrmate, after all.’ F’lar smiled. ‘Let’s hope your dragon catches her again.’

The well-meant remark reminded him of what was more likely to happen. Was there any way he could mention his concerns without implicating S’fyn?

Lessa must have caught the look on his face. ‘You seem worried.’

‘Isn’t everyone, before a mating flight.’ He tried to make light of it. ‘I mean, things can easily go wrong even without any interference.’

Lessa frowned. ‘Hmm. They almost did when Ramoth rose the first time.’ She caught F’lar’s eye again. ‘That was a close call.’

‘What happened?’ D’gar asked.

‘Someone tried to make sure Mnementh was out of the Weyr when it was time,’ she said.

‘Nearly succeeded, too,’ F’lar put in. ‘Things could have turned out very differently.’

Lessa turned to D’gar. ‘But surely no-one would want to do anything like that for a green flight? I don’t mean any disrespect, but it’s not as if there’s the leadership at stake.’ She held his gaze. ‘Do you foresee some kind of problem?’ she asked kindly.

All of a sudden, he felt an overwhelming urge to tell her. This was the Weyrwoman, after all. You couldn’t get any more trustworthy than that. It wouldn’t hurt just to give the bare details.

‘Lessa…’ F’lar said, a warning tone in his voice. ‘Don’t interfere.’

‘I’m not interfering,’ she said sweetly. ‘Just trying to help. Go on, D’gar. What were you about to say?’

‘Someone made a threat. He said he’d hurt H’rek.’ Just sharing his worry was a relief.

‘One of my riders threatened you?’ F’lar asked sharply.

‘No, not a Benden rider. But I know he’ll do what he says. He’s proved it before.’

Lessa narrowed her eyes. ‘Was it the one who tried to drown you? Kylara’s latest fling?’

‘Yes,’ he admitted. ‘F’drun. He knows he can’t touch me now I’m Wingleader. So he said he’d send his dragon up after Rioth. He put a green rider in the infirmary for two days after a mating flight back at High Reaches.’

F’lar grimaced. ‘They can get a bit rough sometimes.’

Lessa glared at him. ‘That sounds more than just “a bit rough” to me.’

‘We all know tempers can flare during the heat of a flight,’ D’gar explained. ‘But this was deliberate.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I’ve not even told H’rek about it. Didn’t want to worry him.’

‘So you’ve been worrying yourself instead.’ Lessa shook her head. ‘That’s not good for you.’

D’gar couldn’t stop now. ‘H’rek’s scared of mating flights. Even when I’ve tried to warn him Herebeth might not always catch Rioth I can see it bothers him. If he knew there was someone intending to hurt him, I don’t know what might happen. He told me he nearly lost Rioth the first time she rose.’

‘What you said earlier about Holdbred lads wasn’t just a generalisation, then?’ Lessa said gently.

‘No. I…’ He couldn’t believe he’d just given away so much. ‘I probably shouldn’t have said all that. H’rek would be annoyed if he found out.’

F’lar gave him a wry smile. ‘Once Lessa gets going on you, you don’t stand a chance. So, what can we do about this?’

‘Not sure as you can, really. It’s just a green flight.’

‘I don’t want one of my riders getting injured if it’s avoidable. Mind you, even if F’drun’s dragon chases Rioth, that’s not to say he’ll catch her. She’s Benden bred, after all.’

In any other circumstances he’d agree. But knowing what he did, the chances of a fair flight were slim. It was best to say nothing, or it might raise more questions.

‘Did he get much warning last time she rose?’ F’lar prompted.

Stick to facts, he told himself. ‘Not really. You know how it is with young dragons. Bit of sunshine and they’re away. But we worked out her cycle and reckon it should happen about the second week they’re in the south.’

‘There might be a way round this,’ F’lar mused. ‘You’ll need to get everything ready here for the new candidates and lead your Wing in Threadfall too. You could probably use some help.’

‘Probably,’ D’gar agreed. There would be a lot to do in a fairly short time. His inexperience in the job would mean it took far longer, too.

‘Then what if H’rek stays here, at least until his dragon’s risen again? He can act as your assistant for the time being. They’ll not miss one rider at Southern. Most of the heavy work’s complete now.’

It was a good way to get around the immediate problem of F’drun setting Ryth after Rioth. ‘That would work.’

‘I’m still concerned about this F’drun,’ Lessa said, shaking her head. ‘First there was that incident at the lake, then he let his dragon chase Prideth when he knew it was a closed flight. Very irresponsible, both times. Do we really want someone like that in our Weyr?’

‘He’s not in our Weyr,’ F’lar pointed out. ‘He’s T’bor’s problem now. And he’s keeping Kylara quiet.’

Lessa gave him a dirty look. ‘Is that really fair? On T’bor or anyone else. Maybe we should see about getting him sent back to High Reaches.’

‘If you remember, we discussed that possibility,’ F’lar said. ‘Before his dragon was injured.’

D’gar thought it sounded like an excellent idea, although he didn’t think T’kul would be persuaded so easily. But then T’kul had probably never had to deal with someone like Lessa before.

‘Well then, after the next Fall, maybe we’ll take a trip over to High Reaches. I’d like to get to see some of the other Weyrs before Ramoth’s too egg-heavy to fly and I get too big to ride.’

D’gar doubted she would and even if she did, they’d probably not reveal too much to the Benden Weyrwoman. No one wanted their dirty laundry hung out in front of strangers.

Lessa turned to him again. ‘Are you sure there’s nothing else we should know?’ she asked, giving him a shrewd look.

‘No. Nothing really.’ He knew she was trying to coax him to say more, but it wasn’t worth the risk to S’fyn. And even if he told them what the other riders had said about F’drun’s past misdemeanors they could all be brushed aside as Weyr gossip. It was even possible that S’fyn’s information might be regarded as nothing to be concerned about, although he hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

‘Well, thanks for coming along, D’gar,’ F’lar said. ‘And we’ll talk again soon about the details of the job. Don’t forget to ask F’nor to show you where everything is in the barracks.’

‘I will. Thanks again for giving me this opportunity. I’ll do my best.’

He left the weyr, feeling a strange mix of exhilaration and apprehension. It was a little bit like he’d felt on the day N’teren told his weyrling class they were about the learn how to fly between. Just as on that day, he knew the theory but had no practical experience to draw on. Still, the previous Weyrlingmaster would have left records. He could take a look at those over the next sevenday for a start.

H’rek is looking for you. Herebeth’s comment pulled him from his musing. Rioth is feeding. He is with her.

Thanks. I’ll take a walk over.

I can fly you if you want. I might be able to manage a small wherry.

Greedy-guts. Well then, if it won’t give you indigestion, it’ll save my boot leather.

His dragon glided down from the fire heights, his brown hide looking a little ashy.

I’ll have to keep you cleaner when we’re in charge of the weyrlings. Can’t have them seeing me with a grubby dragon.

I will set them an excellent example, Herebeth said. I shall go for a dip in the lake every day. Maybe some of them can help scrub me.

If you’re very lucky. But I think they’ll be kept busy enough scrubbing their own dragons. He climbed aboard, remembering the days when Herebeth seemed to grow almost overnight and his life consisted of feeding, bathing and oiling an ever expanding baby dragon. Soon, other lads would be doing the same and he would be in charge of them. It would be him they ran to when they panicked over every little thing. He’d be the one breaking up fights and assigning midden duty. They’d expect him to know everything. And he didn’t. Another wave of almost-panic went through his head. What was he letting himself in for?

H’rek was sitting watching Rioth hunt her prey as Herebeth dropped him off before ascending in a lazy fashion to join her. ‘Well?’ he asked.

‘I’ve done it. I’ve told them I’m accepting the job.’

H’rek gave a whoop and threw his arms around D’gar. ‘That’s brilliant.’

‘You’re the first to know, so keep it quiet until later. I’m going to tell the Wing before dinner, then F’lar will make it official.’

‘You’re going to be great at it.’

‘I hope so. Come on, sit down. I’ve some other news for you as well.’

H’rek looked at him expectantly.

‘You’re staying here with me for a while, to help get things ready for the candidates. That means you’ll be here at Benden when Rioth rises.’

H’rek embraced him again, then started to kiss him. It carried on for a while.

‘Steady on,’ D’gar said, at last. ‘You know what I’ve said before.’

‘That Herebeth might not catch her. I know. But at least if we’re both here there’s no chance you’ll miss it.’

And there’s no chance anyone will deliberately make us lose, he thought to himself.

‘Look at the pair of them.’ H’rek pointed to where Herebeth and Rioth were sharing a wherry. ‘I think our dragons are as much in love as we are. Like Ramoth and Mnementh.’

D’gar smiled, not wanting to dash his romantic dreams. Weyrbred folk understood that wasn’t necessarily how it worked out. If they had to Search a lot of candidates from Holds and Crafts, he needed to make sure all of those aspects were covered when they learned about mating flights. Shells, but that was going to be a difficult lecture.

‘You’re thinking again,’ H’rek chided.

‘I know. It’s going to be a busy few sevendays. There’s so much to get done and Thread won’t stop falling to give us any extra time.’

‘Well,’ H’rek said, looking once more toward the dragons. ‘Once those two have finished why don’t we take an afternoon to ourselves, in our weyr.’

‘Hmm,’ D’gar pretended to be considering the offer. ‘Is that entirely responsible?’

‘Probably not. But let’s enjoy it anyway.’

It was later - much later - when he woke up, still entwined with H’rek. He could tell by the shadows under the curtain that it was late afternoon. H’rek still slept, looking even younger than when he was awake, a slight smile on his face. Carefully, so as not to disturb him, D’gar reached down to the side of the bed and picked up his still half full cup of wine. He took a sip of the excellent Benden white. It had been a perfect afternoon, he reflected. ‘May we have many more,’ he said quietly, drinking to his own toast.

Canth asked me to ask you when you would like his rider to show you round the barracks, Herebeth said. You would not have wanted to be disturbed when he asked so I told him you were busy.

Thank you. I think we’d better leave it for another day. I still need to speak to the Wing. Could you ask Ondiath and Bitath to rustle them all up and tell them I’d like to meet them in the dining hall in around an hour. That should give them plenty of time to clean up. He still needed to sort out the details for tomorrow’s Fall; something he had intended to do earlier.

H’rek opened his eyes slowly and yawned. ‘Is it dinner yet?’

‘Not quite. But I think we should both get in the bath before then. And I really need to do some planning. I don’t think there’ll be any time later, once they find out the news.’

‘Are you going to get drunk?’

‘Not with Fall tomorrow. I need a clear head rather than a hangover. I might have to stop some of the riders from using it as an excuse to celebrate.’

‘What, celebrating getting rid of you?’

D’gar pretended to cuff him. ‘Cheeky brat.’

He let Rioth ferry them both down as Herebeth still felt too full to move. Most of the riders were already at their usual table. He felt a pang of regret, realising that it wouldn’t be his table for much longer. He’d be sitting with the weyrlings in the future.

A few of them looked puzzled, obviously wondering why he’d called a meeting now when Fall wasn’t due until early afternoon the following day.

‘What’s this about?’ M’rell called out.

‘I’m about to tell you if you give me a chance.’ He took his usual seat.

H’rek went over to the hearth to pour klah, not wanting it to seem as if he was listening in.

D’gar looked around the table, at all the familiar faces. His Wing, even though it was only temporary. ‘I’ve got some news that I wanted to share,’ he said. ‘I wanted you to hear it first, from me. I’ve been asked to stay here at Benden, to become their Weyrlingmaster and I’ve accepted.’

J’rud was the first to react, pounding the table. ‘Well done.’

‘You’ll be able to show ‘em how it’s done,’ G’reden called out.

M’rell stood up and did his impassion of N’teren at his most pompous. ‘Remember, lads, theory’s all very well but what you really need is…’

‘Practical experience!’ Most of the younger riders from Fort joined in as he spoke the last two words. They’d heard the phrase all too often during their training.

There were a few cheers and the table received a bit more punishment. Once they’d settled down slightly, B’lin shook his hand more formally. ‘Congratulations, Wingleader.’

V’vil stood and did the same. ‘I’m sure you’ll do an excellent job.’

‘Thank you. All of you. It’s a big move for me…’ he paused again as there were a few more chuckles at his choice of words - that had been the Fort nickname for the journey forward - before continuing. ‘I’ll still be leading this Wing until R’feem returns to active duty, so don’t think you’ll be rid of me so easily. That was all I wanted to say, really. The Weyrleader’s going to be announcing it to the rest of the Weyr over dinner.’

‘We’ll make sure to cheer extra loud,’ T’rai said. A few others nodded or mumbled assent.

‘Until then, meeting’s over.’ He stood and went over to join H’rek, who handed him a cup of klah.

‘They took that pretty well.’

‘Hopefully, there’ll be the same reaction from the Benden folk.’ He sipped his klah. ‘And even if there isn’t there’s nothing they can do about it.’

‘I can’t wait to see R’gul’s face,’ H’rek smiled. ‘Lessa loves it when he’s annoyed about something. Just you watch her expression and you’ll see what I mean.’