Gone Away, Gone Ahead - 26. In the Infirmary

The infirmary was never a pleasant place to begin, especially directly after Threadfall. D’gar went back to his weyr first and soaked in the hot water, hoping it might make his shoulder feel better. It helped a little, although as he dressed, he realised he was still going to need some treatment. Oh well, at least some time had passed, so they’d have finished with the minor scores. Besides, he needed to check on J’rud, so he could get it seen to while he was there.

Herebeth flew him across and he slid carefully to the ground, trying not to jar the shoulder yet again. He spotted Zurinth outside the dragon healers weyr. Her colour was dimmed to a sad grey-green and her eyes also echoed her distress. A large score had burned a trail down her left shoulder and also part of her wing. Herebeth went over and nuzzled her for reassurance. They’d always been close, having hatched at the same time.

‘How is she?’ he asked the nearest healer.

‘We’ve cleaned and numbed it. There’s some damage to the wing, but it didn’t stop her flying. She’ll heal fast. Not so sure about her rider, though.’

His heart sank. ‘I’m going inside to see him now.’

‘They might still be working on him. It was fairly bad.’

The worst cases had already been moved away from the entrance. It was nowhere near as hectic as the day he’d been to get his own score looked at. He remembered how H’rek had run in to check he was all right. That wasn’t about to happen today.

Seeing the aftermath of Threadfall close up always affected him. Just a few hours ago, the people lying in these beds had been healthy, fit and sound, convinced that they’d get through it unscathed. For some of them, the injuries would prove to be life-changing; becoming accustomed to loss of a limb, or an eye was never easy. He scanned the beds, trying to spot J’rud without spending too much time actually looking at the occupants.

‘Can I help you?’ One of the healers had come over.

‘Yes. I’m looking for my wingmate. His name’s J’rud. Green rider. From Fort Weyr,’ he added, for ease of identification.

‘Ah. I think they may have finished, but he’s probably still unconscious from the fellis. This way.’

She led him down the wide aisle between the beds. The worst cases were always kept furthest from the doorway, so they wouldn’t be disturbed by folk passing to and fro. It was a sure sign of recovery when you were moved closer to the outside world.

J’rud had been placed about as far from the door as you could get. In this part of the cavern, most of the patients were lying still; drugged with fellis to help them sleep and to dull the pain of their injuries. D’gar identified him firstly by his light brown hair. At least his face looked untouched, he thought, with a certain degree of relief.

‘How long before he wakes?’ he asked.

She shrugged. ‘An hour, maybe two. You can wait if you like.’

‘Thanks. I… er, need to get my shoulder looked at. It’s not serious. Something hit me.’

‘Something?’ She raised her eyebrows.

‘Well, a dragon. Got a bit close during Fall.’

‘Sit down.’ She pointed to a nearby chair. ‘Take your shirt off and I’ll have a quick look now.’

‘Thanks.’ Pulling his shirt over his head was uncomfortable enough, but when she started manipulating his arm to see how much movement there was the discomfort turned rapidly to pain. He gritted his teeth against it.

‘Any numbness?’

‘My arm was, when it first happened. Fingers still are, a bit.’

‘The good news is there’s nothing broken. But you’ll have some heavy bruising. The impact probably pinched a nerve.’ She moved round behind him, prodded some more. ‘Oh, you’re the rider whose dragon pulled him out of the lake. Those cuts have healed nicely.’

‘Yes.’

‘Accident prone, aren’t you? You should try to rest for the next few days.’

‘There’s another Fall in two days. I have to be all right by then.’

‘Your choice.’ She sounded disapproving. ‘But I’d not advise it.’

‘We’re a man down already. I can’t afford to be out of action.’

‘Better to sit out one Fall than to push yourself and end up worse. Stay there. I’ll get you a sling and some numbweed.’

While she was away, he watched J’rud. He seemed peaceful enough, but that would be due to the fellis. D’gar remembered him in the dining hall at breakfast, joking as usual. Now, here he was, unmoving and pale. Still at least he was alive. At least he’d made it back to the Weyr.

‘Here you go.’ The healer returned and busied herself with applying numbweed to his shoulder.

D’gar knew he had to ask the question. ‘How badly scored is he?’

He couldn’t see her expression, but her voice was solemn. ‘His left leg caught the worst of it. We had to amputate what was left of the foot.’

That was bad.

‘Now, we just have to keep it clean and hope it doesn’t get infected.’ Her tone changed as she finished treating him. ‘Put your shirt back on and I’ll adjust that sling for you. Try to keep it on as much as possible. Do you have someone who can help with your dragon?’

‘I did, but they’ve sent him down south.’ Would H’rek have forgiven him by now? He hoped so. It had been such a silly argument.

‘Well, maybe get one of your wingmates to help rather than struggle to do it yourself and make things worse. I know what you riders are like.’ She gave him a small smile. ‘You can stay here. Wait until he wakes. He might be a little confused…’

‘From the fellis. I know.’

‘And he obviously doesn’t know about…’ she glanced toward where his foot should be. ‘He won’t be able to feel anything, with his leg numbed.’

‘Should I tell him?’

‘If he asks, yes. Best to get used to it as soon as possible. You probably know him better than we do so it might be easier coming from you.’

After she’d left, D’gar sat there in the half-light. He wondered how Zurinth was coping with her rider still being unconscious and sent a query to Herebeth.

She is worried about him.

Tell her he should wake up in an hour or two. I’m going to stay here, so you do what feels right.

I will keep Zurinth company.

Good. Can you please let Piroth know that he’s going to be in here for a while. That would give R’feem a chance to think about how he was going to fill the position. If he’d be able to, that is. There was such a shortage of greens at Benden. Maybe they could bring someone in from another Weyr?

J’rud was still sleeping deeply. If he wasn’t going to wake any time soon, maybe there was time to grab something from the dining hall. His stomach had settled now Fall was over and was reminding him he’d not really eaten all day. ‘Back soon,’ he said to J’rud. They did say that even when someone was unconscious they could hear voices.

As he made his way out, he considered the simple act of walking. One foot in front of the other. You didn’t even have to think about it. J’rud was going to have to learn all over again. He wondered if they’d give him some kind of false foot. One of the older riders at Fort had lost his leg above the knee and the Smithcrafthall had made him a metal replacement, with a knee that even hinged as he walked. If they could do that four hundred Turns ago, surely they’d be able to fabricate something even better by now.

On his way toward the door, deep in thought, someone called his name.

It was Gr’lon, sitting in a chair next to his bed. ‘What have you done to yourself this time?’ The bandages had gone, revealing livid scars on his face.

‘Oh, nothing much. How about you?’

‘Good news. They’re letting me out in the next day or so. I’ll be able to go back to my own weyr.’

D’gar remembered that he’d worried about his vision. The eye on the scored side didn’t look much different from the other one, at this distance. ‘How’s the…?’ he pointed at his own eye.

‘Vision’s a bit blurry, so far. Better than I’d hoped. Can you stop for a chat?’

‘I’d love to. I’m just going to fetch something to eat. Do you want any?’

‘A klah would go down well. Maybe a sweet roll if there’s any going.’

‘I’ll see what I can do.’ It was good to see him looking so much better.

In the dining hall he had to fend off a few enquiries about J’rud. Some of his wingmates wanted to visit him, but D’gar managed to persuade them to leave it until tomorrow. He’d need a bit of peace and quiet once he woke, to come to terms with what had happened. He didn’t tell them anything about the injuries, of course. That was up to J’rud, in his own time.

He ate a couple of meat rolls right there, then grabbed two mugs of klah and put a few extra titbits in a bowl to carry back.

Gr’lon had a visitor. D’gar recognised R’gul from his build and the Wingleader’s knots on his shoulder. Well, he’d not interrupt them. At least R’gul was visiting his injured Wingsecond, so that had to be a good thing.

‘Excuse me.’ He passed the klah to Gr’lon and put the bowl down on his bed. ‘I’ll come back later,’ he said.

‘No, stay.’ Gr’lon said quickly. ‘I was just telling the Wingleader that I should be fine to fly soon.’

R’gul didn’t seem as pleased by this as D’gar thought he should. ‘Yes, great news.’

‘You said that there were men with one eye flying in some of your Wings, didn’t you?’

‘Well, yes.’ Where was this going, he wondered?

‘You see,’ Gr’lon said to R’gul.

‘Yes, but you don’t. I’m not having anyone flying with me who isn’t one hundred percent.’

D’gar didn’t even try to stifle his laugh. ‘Then you’ll not have much of a Wing left after a few Turns. Everyone’s going to get injured sooner or later. Even you.’

R’gul gave him the kind of dirty look that probably worked fairly well to shut up those in his Wing. ‘It’s nothing to do with you.’

‘No, of course not. But if you don’t want to believe me, then ask R’feem or W’lir. They’ll tell you the same. And to be fair, he’s not got only one eye. The injured one just isn’t quite as good as the other one, isn’t that so, Gr’lon?’

‘I’ve told him that already.’

‘Well, there you go, then. Now, I’m going to sit with my rider who’s got half his leg missing, but I bet he’ll be riding Fall again as soon as it’s healed enough for him to go between. And we won’t mind, because we’re a working Wing, not just all spit and polish and show.’ It came out a bit sharper than he’d intended, but he didn’t really care. R’gul needed to realise times had changed.

J’rud still hadn’t moved. In the semi-darkness it was hard to tell if he was even breathing, so D’gar leaned closer, just to reassure himself that he was. Having established that everything was all right, he sat back down and sipped his klah. The lack of light and post-Fall tiredness meant that he soon dozed off. He was awakened by a hand on his good shoulder.

It was always confusing when you were woken. For a moment he forgot where - when - he was. ’S’brin?’

‘No, lad. R’feem.’ The Wingleader stood beside him.

‘Oh, sorry.’ He glanced over to J’rud, remembering why he was here as his senses returned fully.

‘What have you done to yourself?’

‘Slight mid-air collision. Nothing broken. I’ll be fine. The healer insisted on this.’ He held up the arm in the sling and winced involuntarily.

‘I bumped into R’gul on the way here. He didn’t seem too happy with you. Said you’d been putting notions into his rider’s head.’

‘Oh, that. His Wingsecond doesn’t have perfect vision anymore, so R’gul told him he’d not be able to fly in his Wing. I may have been a bit short with him.’

‘Ah.’ R’feem seemed to understand. He glanced at J’rud, who looked to be stirring slightly. ‘Do you want me to give him the bad news?’

‘I can do it. That’s why I stayed here.’

‘Well, I’ll stay as well. Keep you company.’ He pulled up another chair from beside the nearest empty bed. ‘Comfy, these. No wonder you dropped off.’

D’gar thought of the number of times R’feem must have had to keep vigil like this, waiting for someone to wake. The other visits, too, when someone had lost a son, brother or weyrmate. ‘We were clutchmates,’ he said, in case R’feem didn’t remember, or thought he was overstepping his duties.

‘I know. Four of you joined “C” Wing at the same time. J’rud, T’kes, S’brin and you.’

‘There was T’mudra as well, but he was transferred in later.’

‘Ah, yes. T’mudra. He wasn’t with us long, was he?’

‘No. Caught a load of Thread over Ruatha.’ He’d not been fond of T’mudra, but it had still been a shock when he’d not come back out of between after getting hit. T’kes was still alive, but blue Neyrenth had been so badly scored on one Wing he wasn’t fit to fly again.

R’feem sighed. ‘Anyone know how it happened to J’rud?’

‘I didn’t see it. Herebeth told me.’

‘He should be able to tell us himself soon.’

J’rud was definitely coming back to consciousness, in that half-aware way of someone who’d been well dosed with fellis.

He’s waking now, D’gar sent to Herebeth. Might be a bit confused, so let Zurinth know she isn’t to worry.

He moved closer to the bed. ‘J’rud,’ he said. ‘It’s all right. You’re in the infirmary at Benden Weyr.’

‘Eh? What?’ He opened his eyes and blinked a few times. ‘Zurinth…?'

‘She’s just outside,’ R’feem said. ‘Unfortunately, the doors aren’t big enough for even a green dragon to get in here.’

‘I have to go to her. She got scored.’ He tried to sit up.

D’gar stopped him. ‘You don’t have to. She’s been numbed and patched up. Just like you have. What you need is to rest.’

J’rud flicked his eyes from one to the other of them. ‘If you’re both here, then something bad must have happened.’

‘Well, I came here to get myself treated.’ D’gar pointed to his sling. ‘Then R’feem came along to find me. We were just having a bit of a chat while you were asleep.’

‘How much do you remember?’ R’feem asked J’rud.

J’rud screwed up his eyes. ‘Not a lot. It was all really quick. We’d taken out a clump, then come back into line. There was a lot of cloud…’

D’gar nodded. ‘The visibility wasn’t great today.’

J’rud carried on. ’We hit something. Thread, obviously. I didn’t even see it. Zurinth did, but too late. Then there was pain. I wasn’t sure if it was me, or her. She got us between, then back to the Weyr. Everything’s all jumbled up after that.’ he looked uncertain. ‘Why am I in here?’

D’gar exchanged glances with R’feem, who gave him a small nod. He’d already gone through a number of different ways he could say what he needed to, but when it came down to it, J’rud’s own jokey tone came to mind. ‘Good news is you’ll definitely be missing a few Falls. You might even get to lounge on a southern beach while you’re both recovering.’

J’rud looked straight at him. ‘And the bad news?’

‘There’s no easy way to say this. You’ve lost your left foot.’ He paused, to give time for it to sink in.

J’rud made an odd sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. ‘I thought it was the whole leg they were taking off. I can’t feel anything that side.’

‘That’s probably the numbweed.’

R’feem patted J’rud on the shoulder. ‘You’ll both need some time to get over this. But I’ve no doubt you’ll be flying with us again. You’re a good pair, you and Zurinth.’

‘Are we? Look at the state of me now. And Zurinth’s scored too.’

‘Don’t blame yourself for that. Conditions were bad. It was an accident.’

‘Could have happened to anyone,’ D’gar added. ‘I had some close calls myself today.’

R’feem turned to him. ‘Can you stay here a while? I’d better get back for the Wing meeting.’

‘If J’rud wants me to.’

He nodded. ‘Can someone tell Sh’ran?’

‘I’ll make sure of it.’ R’feem ran a hand through his hair. ‘Some of the other riders will probably want to come and visit too. Do you want me to put them off?’

J’rud shook his head slowly. ‘I’d like them to know I’m all right. Well, what’s left of me, anyway. They’re going to have to know sooner or later. Just… not all of them at once.’

‘I’ll sort that out. See you both later.’ He left.

D’gar pulled his chair closer. ‘You want me to get you anything? Klah? Food?’

‘Just a drink of water will do for now. I feel a bit sick.’

That was understandable given the circumstances. ‘I’ll go and fetch some.’ There was a pitcher of water and cups in one of the niches just the other side of the cavern. He poured it carefully and brought it back. ‘There you go.’ He waited until J’rud had drunk it, then put the cup down on the ledge next to his bed. ‘So, are you and Sh’ran…?’

J’rud fiddled with the bed furs. ‘We’ve been seeing each other. I like him. Don’t know how he’s going to cope with… this?’

‘If he feels the same way about you, he’ll understand. Anyway, there are worse body parts to be missing than a foot.’

His comment raised a smile. ‘That sounds like the sort of thing S’brin used to say.’

‘It does, doesn’t it. Think I picked up some of his sense of humour over the Turns.’

J’rud leaned back and shut his eyes. ‘Sharding awful, isn’t it? Thread. It takes the best of us. You ever think about all the clutchmates we’ve lost?’

He nodded.

‘We should have finished with all this.’

‘M’rell said much the same just the other day. But we can’t go back. We’re here now. Look on the bright side. If we hadn’t come forward, you’d not have met Sh’ran.’

‘And I’d still have all my limbs intact.’

There was no easy answer to that. Some folk might tell him to look on the bright side; to count his blessings, but D’gar knew exactly what he’d have replied if someone had said the same just after S’brin had died, so he didn’t. ‘How’s Zurinth now?’ he asked, to distract J’rud from his own misery.

‘Says she’s comfortable. Herebeth’s stayed with her.’

‘I know. He and Zurinth always got along. Just wish we could do more.’ He sighed, having run out of things to say. ‘Anything else you need?’

‘Not really.’ He yawned widely. ‘I might have another nap.’

‘It’s the fellis. They’re a bit heavy handed with it, I’ve noticed. When I was in here after the lake incident, I slept most of the time.’

‘Come back later?’

‘Of course.’

He called in at the Wing meeting to let everyone know that J’rud would be happy to see them, but that he was having a rest right now. Afterwards, N’bras came over to apologise for what had happened.

‘Apart from nearly colliding with me, you didn’t do too badly. We need to work on your formation flying and keeping in position. It’s easier, most of the time, to let Thread come to you rather than chase it all over the sky.’

‘I’ll remember that.’

‘Now you’re here, could you give me a lift back to my weyr? Herebeth’s over with Zurinth, being protective.’

‘Sure.’

It felt strange to be getting on board a Benden blue. He’d already ridden Rioth, who was large for a green, but Genlorth wasn’t far off the same height from the ground as Herebeth. Climbing up with his arm in sling proved impossible, so he left it off for the short hop and slid down carefully once they’d reached his ledge. N’bras still looked downcast and D’gar felt suddenly sorry for him.

‘You want to come in for a drink?’ It would pass the time and would prove there were no hard feelings, despite everything.

N’bras hadn’t been inside the weyr before and looked around at the hangings and furniture. ‘Nice.’

‘That’s mostly down to H’rek and J’rud. They informed me I have absolutely no sense of how to furnish a place. Do you want klah or something stronger?’

‘Well, if you’ve got any wine…’

‘I haven’t, but I can get some. Think I need a drink after earlier.’ Seeing N’bras’s pained look, he quickly added, ‘It was a tough Fall today. And J’rud - the injured rider - is a good friend.’ He pulled aside the curtain and called down the service shaft. Shortly, the mechanism rumbled and a skin of wine appeared. D’gar unstoppered it and took a sniff. ‘They’ve given us the good stuff. There’s something that’s gone right today, anyway.’ He poured and handed N’bras a cup.

He took a sip. ‘That’s Benden,’ he said, sounding surprised.

‘I know.’ D’gar smiled. ‘They must think I’m a Wingleader or something, having this weyr. I’m not about to put them right on it.’ He sank back in the comfy chair and put his arm back in the sling. ‘Suppose I’d better use this as they’ve given it to me.’

‘Will you be all right?’

‘I expect so. I’ve had worse.’

‘Like when that rider tried to drown you?’

‘Please. Don’t mention that. It’s one of the more embarrassing incidents in my life. Dragons fighting…’ he shook his head.

‘Someone said…’ he paused. ‘I mean, I’d heard all sorts of things about you folk, but you don’t seem that different to everyone else.’

‘Hmm.’ He thought of some of the things H’rek had said. ‘We have a few opinions that don’t sit well with modern folk, I’ll admit, but that’s to be expected after four hundred Turns. Even without that, different weyrs have always had their own ways. You just have to adapt.’

N’bras sat back in his own chair and sighed. ‘It’s not just you. Some of us feel the same. I mean, you probably think of us all as Benden riders, but although I Impressed here, we were sent down to Southern more or less right away. We stayed there for nearly four Turns. Then we find only a few days had passed here. It messes with your mind, all that timing it.’

‘H’rek’s told me about that. And I’ve been to the south, briefly. Beautiful place.’

‘It is. But we were all half-asleep most of the time. Exhausted. No-one said it was because we’d been sent into the past, so we just thought it was down to the heat.’

D’gar remembered how sleepy he’d been the day he timed it back from Fort and tried to imagine feeling like that for so long. ‘That was tough on you all. Plus, not knowing what was going on back at the Weyr.’

‘Oh, I’m not Weyrbred. I barely got to know anyone here after we were Searched. Most of us were Hold or Craftbred, you know.’

‘Back at Fort, nearly everyone who stood as a candidate was Weyrbred.’ He wondered if that was another Benden peculiarity, or simply that they didn’t have sufficient boys to choose from when Ramoth laid so many eggs.

‘They wanted us older so we could fight Thread sooner.’

That made sense. Desperate measures and all that. D’gar found his cup was empty and poured himself another. His head had that pleasantly fuzzy feeling from the alcohol. He didn’t usually drink so much so fast.

N’bras accepted a refill too. ‘We weren’t allowed to visit home, not even when our dragons could fly,’ he continued. ‘No one at Southern was. So all that time my family never knew what had happened to me.’

‘That’s tough.’ It had been the same for H’rek, albeit slightly less time had passed in his case.

‘Although if my father knew about C’vash he’d disown me anyway.’

‘That’s one thing that’s not changed in four hundred Turns. Holders can be so… unforgiving. Luckily I’m Weyrbred, so my mum had no issues when I fell in love with another boy.’

‘Your wingmates told me all about him.’

‘I thought they probably would, along with all the other Threadfall stories.’

N’bras took another drink. ‘I don’t know how you could bear it. If C’vash had died, I don’t know what I’d have done.’

‘Kept on, for your dragon’s sake. It’s all you can do.’ Now that he was looking back on it, he didn’t really know how he’d got through those first few sevendays. ‘But he’s going to be all right, isn’t he?’

‘Yes. He should be back in our weyr soon. He was lucky, I guess. Lucky you were there, too and acted as quickly as you did.’

‘Well, sometimes luck’s on your side. Like today, with me. I’m not sure exactly what part of Genlorth hit me, but it sharding well hurt.’

‘He said it was his foreleg.’

D’gar smiled wryly. ‘I seem to have a knack for getting clobbered by dragons.’ He’d drunk enough that what had happened at the lake didn’t seem quite so awful now.

‘That one who half-drowned you. Isn’t he still in your Wing?’

‘Unfortunately, yes. Although his dragon’s recovering from mating flight injuries, so he’s not flying with us at the moment. But when he does come back, watch out for him. He’s a right bastard.’ He’d probably said too much, but that was the trouble with having a few drinks.

‘What’s his name?’

‘F’drun. Bronze Ryth.’

‘Oh. Isn’t he the one who Kylara took up with?’

‘The same. But she dropped him like a hot cake when Ryth failed to fly Prideth. Trouble is, he’s being sent down south to help clear the place. I worry about him being around with H’rek there as well.’

N’bras looked puzzled. ‘You think he’d hurt H’rek to get at you? Really?’

‘I don’t know for sure. But I’ve good reason to believe he might.’ He should definitely stop talking now. ‘Look, I’m going to get some food sent up. You want some?’

‘Please. If I’m not keeping you from working.’

He shook his head. ‘Admin can wait until tomorrow. All I’ve got planned for later is to visit J’rud again.’

‘And H’rek will be back, too.’

‘Well, yes. Don’t know if he’s forgiven me yet, though.’ He looked into his cup and found it empty again. ‘We had a bit of an argument yesterday. First one.’

‘Ah.’ N’bras paused. ‘I thought I saw Rioth on Telmoth’s ledge this morning.’

‘Who’s Telmoth’s rider?’

‘L’cal.’

One of his clutchmates, as he’d thought. ‘Green?’ he asked.

‘No, bronze. Holder’s son. Bit full of it, really. Although he gets away with a lot, being such a charmer. Good-looking, too.’

With every word, D’gar’s heart sank a little further. H’rek and L’cal would be working in close proximity, in the south. Who knows what might happen? To distract himself, he called down the service shaft for some food. While he waited for the order to be sent up, N’bras got up and started to look round the weyr more closely, peering at the tapestries and H’rek’s collection of sea shells, before finally getting as far as the pool. He dabbled a hand in the water. ‘Nice, having your own pool. I thought it was only Wingleaders who got that.’

‘Well, F’nor put in a good word for me with Manora.’ That had been down to his rescue of C’vash. Funny how everything connected.

The mechanism rumbled again - it was quieter than the one in R’feem’s weyr - and several bowls filled with a selection of spicy and sweet snacks came up. ‘Give us a hand with these.’

They carried them over to the table. D’gar ate two small savoury pies, then poured some more wine. N’bras was pretty good company, really. ‘So, tell me some more about this L’cal.’