What kind of wolf am I? - 9. Chapter 9

Sasha

Pacing. I needed to stop pacing. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t relax. This whole situation had twisted itself into a knot that I could not untwine. I promptly stopped and flopped down on the ground. I immediately regretted it. I’d barely hit the ground before yelping and grunting surrounded me. The two white pups were so full of energy. They climbed up on my back, pulled my ears, my tail. And every attempt I made to warn them of lasted for all of three seconds before they were at it again. How did the female survive this? I couldn’t help the grunt from escaping. I got back up and returned to my pacing, the pups now hunting my hamstrings as I moved. Alpha, how could I be an alpha? I was an alpha, proposedly mates with another alpha, alpha of my own pack, who was now at the mercy of said alpha mate. How the fuck was I going to deal with all this shit. I needed to talk to Tristan; of that, I was sure. But to do so, I would have to shift, a task easier said than done, since I could feel a full force panic attack would hit the moment I did. So my instincts had taken over, stubbornly trapping me in my wolf form. The female stood from where she'd been laying in the shadows and came closer. I could tell from her posture that she wanted to comfort me, but she was not helping, only making the feeling worse. I silently raised my lips, showing her my teeth, warning her to keep her distance. She obliged and sat down as I kept pacing. Suddenly she huffed, letting me know we weren’t alone.

Just at the border of the area, we had been granted a lone wolf stood, staring at the pups. When she noticed me watching her, she lowered her head and trotted on. Nadine. There had been nothing hostile about her posture – Curiosity perhaps. But her presence was odd. She had pointedly avoided my pack and me since the first day. If she was here, it was because she had no other choice. After a minute, I trotted off, in the same direction, Nadine had vanished. More of the council members entered the packhouse just as the entrance came into view. The curiosity having avoided my panic attack for the moment, I managed to shift and followed the others into the house.

“I want to send out patrols scouting the borders, I also want scouts beyond the border, I wanna know where those wolfs came from. If their territory presses up against ours's, we need to figure out how to deal with that problem.”

“But alpha,” said one of the elderly males. “Shouldn’t we deal with the problem closest at hand? What are we to do about the alpha?” I’d stopped in the door, spying on the meeting taking place at the broad dining table. I saw Tristan flashing his teeth at the old man, but Nadine flew to her feet before he could respond.

“Before that, shouldn’t we deal with that insolent pup, coming here claiming territory where he has no right?” the old man too raised to his feet also.

“The female is an alpha female; she poses a risk to the pack if her mate comes looking for her!” I couldn’t help the growl from escaping my throat.

“You do not get to threaten my pack," I growled, stepping up to the old man.

“Enough!” Tristan roared. The old man and Nadine sat back down as Tristan closed the distance between us. “Be careful, Pup; you are treading thin ice.”

“My pack poses no threat to your council, alpha female or not.” I hissed, trying not to be affected by the anger emitting off of him. I met his gaze, and a tremor ran through my body. Mate! A voice in me whispered. It took a great deal of self-control not to melt into pudding and roll over in submission.

“We will discuss whatever issues your pack might pose later. Go to my room and wait for me; we'll discuss it in private before figuring out which actions to take.” There he went again, ordering me. Before the scowl could finish forming on my face, he added with a sigh, “Please?” a wave of pleasure ran down my spine, and my knees almost turned into jelly. I opened my mouth to answer but couldn't get the words out. Instead, I lowered my gaze submissively with a blushed. “Thank you.” Tristan stepped back, and I hurried past him, heading towards my alphas private wing.

***

The following 45 minutes felt like days. I was pacing again, the panic attack starting to creep back up. Tristan had said they would not take any action before he and I had talked thing out, but the council held great power after all. What if they forced Tristan to act? No, he was the alpha; they couldn't force him to do anything. Would he want to talk about our mating bond too? Would I have to decide everything now… what if… The door opened, interrupting my mental downward spiral. I turned and locked eyes with Tristan as he entered – away went all of my issues. No, I had to deal with this, so I mentally dug in my heels and watched him in silence.

“I’m sorry to make you wait for so long,” Tristan said, rubbing a hand over his face as he went over to flop down onto the couch opposite from where I was standing.

“Was there made any decisions regarding my pack?" I managed, Hating that my voice was trembling.

“No. My main issue isn’t the female and her pups. The pack that was after her, however, is. Their boldness is concerning – I wish to keep them off my territory.” I did my best to keep my face neutral, but apparently, I failed to do so cause Tristan scoffed. “Did you think I would go back on my word on consulting you concerning your pack? You wound me.”

“How could I not be worried? I don't really know you, after all,” I stated, but relieved I would get to have a say in the matter.

“But before we discuss any of that”, Tristan said and rose to his feet. “The two of us have a more pressing matter to discuss.”

“No! We need to discuss what will happen to us,” I growled as he came closer.

“I don’t know what to do with you until I know what to do with you.” He was looming over me: big, broad and powerful. His scent filled my nose, and my thoughts were scattered. “I am bewildered by you. You wish to submit to me, but I am not allowed to dominate you. What am I going to do with a mate I cannot control?” he stepped closer, so close I only needed to lean forward for my body to be flush against his. “What do you want from me?” he asked—his voice low.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, my voice raspy.

“Tell me what you were thinking out there on the field. Nadine meant no harm until you charged me.” I remembered the feeling of pure joy to see Tristan back on his feet, still alive. I’d been so afraid.

“You’d been hurt. Your council wanted my pack to leave, tried to chase them off the territory. I wanted them with me, and this is my home. Then you came out,” I choked. “I was so grateful to see you alive.”

“Why did you charge, Nadine.”

“She’s your first female, Tristan. She was getting too close.”

“She wasn’t closer to your pack than the rest of my council.”

“She was getting too close to you.” Tristan just stared at me. “I was protecting what was mine, but then you turned on me…" I choked on the last bit. "You chose her over me." I rumbled, anger rushing back into me. He was mine, she had no claim, but still, Tristan chose her. Tristan felt the shift in me and stepped back.

"She's my pack, Sasha. I was protecting her from…"

"So am I!" there was a rapid knock on the door, efficiently shutting down the fight about to erupt between us.

"What?" Tristan barked.

"Alpha, you must come. We have an issue at the hall that needs your attention." Tristan went to open the door, annoyance emanating from him.

"Issue?" he snapped, and the wolf on the other side took a step back.

"Uninvited guest," he whimpered. Tristan bypassed the poor guy, and I wasn't long to follow.

'uninvited' was not the right term. Since she'd received rights of passing, she was no threat.

"Stella!" I exclaimed and shoved my way past Tristan, who puffed out a breath in disapproval. I didn't care.

"Sahsa! Where the hell have you been?" The next series of events went so fast I was unsure of what really had happened. Asha entered the room, probably intrigued by the noise, locked eyes with Stella the second before I rushed to greet her. The next second I was shifting, protecting myself from the charging beta intending to kill me.

"Asha!" Tristan roared, and Stella screamed. I was fighting for my life. I might be alpha, but Asha wasn't my pack, and he was more experienced in battling. Growling, snarling, pain, blood dripping. Then we were finally separated. It had probably only lasted half a minute. Asha was standing protectively in front of Stella and Tristan between him and me, snarling at Asha. They stared each other down for what seemed like an eternity before Asha finally lowered his gaze and shifted to his much more vulnerable form. He didn't speak, but the fight had clearly left him. Me not so much. Adrenaline still rushed my blood, pain maintaining the ongoing infusion of it. Once Tristan was sure I was safe, he too shifted. For a moment, both Tristan and I looked between Asha and Stella. Realization dawned on me the same moment Tristan spoke.

"Are you fucking serious, Asha? Really?" Silence. "She's the daughter of the alpha. What are you thinking." Mates. Asha was Stella's mate? I looked at Stella, but she had only eyes for Asha. It felt like a loss, and I couldn't help the whine from escaping. All eyes fell to me for a second. "We are not done, Asha. Now go, and do not get any bright ideas. I don't have time nor patience to deal with your stupidity on top of everything else. Do you understand?" Asha mumbled a sheepish reply I didn't catch before the two of them scattered. "Now, let me tend to you. That cut is bleeding all over the floor." Tristan turned at reached out to me.

Still in defence mode, I automatically snapped my jaws at him, warning him to stay away. "Sasha, you're hurt. You need treatment!" He crouched in front of me, giving me a stern glare. I looked closely but found no trace of malice, only concern. With a sight, I shifted my weight and hobbled towards his room. Once there, I waited for him to open the door, and we entered. Exhausted, I flopped down onto a sunny spot on the clear hardwood so I wouldn't stain the carpet and waited. A minute later, Tristan kneeled next to me with what looked like a first-aid kit. "You know," he said. "This would be so much easier if you would shift." I sighed again. I would've liked to; however, the strain of the fight had triggered my instincts once more, leaving me yet again stuck in my wolf form. I probably could deal with the situation in human form anyway. I was so tired of thinking, of confusion, of uncertainty. So I just sighed again and closed my eyes while my alpha patched me back together.