System of a Wolf - 20. Chapter 20

Water trickled over a series of smooth stones, running down into the larger pond. A weeping willow sat in the middle of the pond, on an island that was carefully designed to not interfere with the pumps.. Beneath a small bough, Erith sat silently, taking a series of deep breaths.

Meditation was pretty low on the elf’s list of favourite things to do. He wasn’t even sure it was supposed to help, but it did keep the outside world outside.

‘Urdya nights.’

He didn’t really care for himself. But Varen had plans, and Erith was trying his best to accommodate them without sacrificing his own body. It was a challenge. But there was nothing else Erith could do. One of them had to open the negotiations, and Varen seemed to think he was entitled to Erith’s body. There was no getting him to back down first, and Erith soon realized that he had to make the first concession.

So he offered one hour, same as he’d offered Lynn.

Not good enough. Three days.

That was not happening; he needed to work, and as he had pointed out before, Varen knew nothing about landscaping. Not to mention that Erith was pretty sure the other elf would still be grabbing the wheel if he thought Erith was getting triggered.

Back and forth they went, over an entire week. Erith had learned it was easier to try to ground himself before approaching the volatile elf. Which was why he was sitting in his newly created paradise Varya morning, trying to keep himself calm.

“Urdya nights are-”

‘The best nights for a single elf to go out on the town and get laid.’

Erith took a deep breath, staring into the depths of his eyelids as the pond trickled around him. In hindsight, he should have seen this coming. Even Lynn had suckered him into getting an hour a day, right before Gara got to run free. And now Varen was cutting into the wolf’s time too.

At least Varen was being blunt. He wanted to get fucked. At some point, Erith was going to wake up in bed with a stranger. And that thought made his gut twist.

‘Oh relax, I’m not going to get into any relationships or anything. Unless you find a way to patch things up with Blake.’

And the knife twisted deeper. He had no idea why Varen seemed to hate him. Resentment? The elf was holding nearly all his painful memories, but Erith had never asked him to do that.

‘Funny, I don’t remember asking to do it either.’

“Urdya nights are not good for me. Varya mornings would be better.”

‘Naturally, so we can stay in all night and all morning. Who wants to get laid on Varya morning?’

It was exceedingly hard to deceive the other elf, and trying was making Erith’s head hurt.

‘Your attempts to be subtle are surprisingly juvenile. Here I’m being honest in hopes of fostering a positive relationship, and you’re determined to do everything you can to distract me.’

At this point, he wasn’t sure whether the voice was Varen, or just his own thoughts mocking him. Either way, the insults just rolled right off him. He’d heard worse. Though he had to admit, the voice had a point. He could probably be a little more accommodating. And he probably would be, if they weren’t fighting over who got to control his body.

Erith cracked open an eye, glancing at his phone. Ten in the morning. He’d been at this for three hours already. It was time for breakfast. And to go back to ignoring the voice in his head.

‘Oh and we are out of time. Yeah yeah, do your self-care. You know it doesn’t work when you can still hear me right?’

The elf grunted as he stood up. Stretching briefly, he made his way over a short bridge, checking on the moss that was already creeping out of the trays at the bottom of the pond. He still needed to work on the plants around the sides of the pond, and get some actual fish in the water. That was today’s project.

He pulled out a sheet of paper from his notebook, a list of fish lining the page. Saifin Plecostamus, Silver Dollars, Oscar Cichlids, Firemouth Cichlids, Convict Cichlids… he really had no idea what any of these fish were, but they were the ones Blake had suggested, and he was going to stick with what the mage had said. With luck, someone at the pet store would let him know what he was getting himself into. And the fish wouldn’t be too expensive. He’d already spent nearly six gold on this project, and while the back yard was looking better than it ever had, Erith wasn’t sure how much more he could afford. He still had to figure out what plants to add to the yard, a yard now dominated by the pond. But that could come after the fish. The water was clean, clear, and he wanted to get some animal life into the pond.

Breakfast was eaten quickly, enough to keep him going until dinner and no more. He assumed that he would be eating a lot more in the near future, given the number of different people who would be using his body. Soon, Erith was settling back into his car, looking up the directions to his new favourite pet store.

Setting his phone on the dashboard, the elf pulled out of his drive. Ten minutes saw him to the car park, and he perked up slightly at a smell. Blake was here. Whether the mage wanted to speak to him or not was another story entirely.

A flash of silver dazzled Blake, fish darting around their small tank. He felt bad for them all; the tanks seemed way too small, even for babies. Tiny angelfish swam beside oscars and firemouths, their tanks separated by worryingly thin glass. He was afraid of the oscars ramming the edge of the tank as Val enjoyed doing. One good slam and it looked like the aquarium would fall into chaos. It was utterly irresponsible, done entirely to save money, and it was pissing the mage off.

He wanted to save them all, to give them all a better home. They didn’t deserve to be crammed in a tank they could barely swim in. But there was no way he could take them home. Val would eat them all. There was a reason Blake didn’t do live feedings. Well, except for that one pleco, but that was different. Val wasn’t supposed to try to eat a six inch long spiky boy. The oscar could be pretty dumb sometimes. Not that it was really his fault; Blake hadn’t known that the pleco needed to be bigger than Val to avoid being picked on in general. But it was a mistake he would never repeat.

A scent hit his nose, almost adding to the fishy smell of the aquarium. The werewolf’s nose lifted, sniffling at the heady scent. It was like a balm to his nerves, and he let out a happy sigh, feeling the anxiety rush out of his body. It was weird, he knew that smell…

In a rush, the anxiety was back.

He knew that smell.

“Blake, right?”

The murmur came from behind him, and he spun around, planting the fish tanks at his back for protection. Red hair, a smooth face filled with worry, he was… he was nervously staring at the mage?

“I… um… your father never told me your name. I… I found it online…”

Blake shivered as he stared at the man. He was a lot younger than Blake remembered, but it had been only eight years. To an eleven year old, the werewolf had seemed huge. His eyes travelled involuntarily to the man’s crotch, and he gulped at the memory.

“I’m sorry. I know that can’t change anything, fix anything, but I am so sorry Blake. I never meant to hurt you. And I just want you to know that.”

He remained silent, not trusting himself to speak, not even sure he could speak. Hands were covering him again as his eyes squeezed shut, holding him down, a burning pain entering his body, and the mage whimpered, hearing a sudden grunt. Blake fell to the ground, sitting against the fish tanks as he hugged his legs.

“Please, I’m not going to hurt you-”

His eyes shot open, and he saw the man pinned against another tank, an invisible weight holding him in place. Blake hadn’t even felt the energy leave him. Taking another deep breath of that fishy scent, the mage let the weight dissipate, and the werewolf dropped in surprise, catching himself just before he hit the ground.

“You always were good with your magic,” he chuckled nervously, and Blake experienced a strange thrill at the compliment.

The mage shook his head, trying to clear his chaotic thoughts. He had power here. Dr. Marin was searching for a new filter for Val; it would be easy to escape this man and retreat to the safety the older wolf provided. But Blake couldn’t bring himself to do that. The scent… it was too alluring, and that frightened him almost as much as the stirring in his groin.

“I knew this was a bad idea. I’m… I don’t know… I mean, you’ve been changed for a few years now… I don’t know…”

Blake gulped, staring up at the man.

“Why?” he demanded quietly.

“You… I don’t know Blake… They tell me I’m sick, but that’s not… it’s not why I did it. It was your smell… I kept telling people I was trying to save you, but no one believed me. I don’t think I believe it myself anymore…”

“You’re not my mate…” Blake whimpered. “You can’t be.”

“I tried to get you out of there. But then you vanished, and then your father was arrested and squealed like a stuck pig and… well… five years of therapy later…”

The man chuckled ruefully.

“He was going to kill me because of you.”

The man’s face fell, a shocked expression turning into anger that sent Blake back against the tanks again.

“I never thought he’d try to kill you. I just… I thought I let you escape. I believed I let you get free by changing you… Fuck, if I knew… I’m so sorry Blake.”

He reached for Blake, and a burst of energy sent him sliding backward.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Okay. I promise I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. I know… I know this is a lot to ask, but I’d like to find some way to make this up to you. I never meant to leave you.”

“Make up for months of…”

Massages, gentle fucking, cuddles that made him feel safe… fuck, he was so confused. This was a bad guy, he had raped Blake, and he needed to be far away. Blake needed to get away from him… but he couldn’t. The man looked so sad, so remorseful, and it broke Blake’s heart. He couldn’t be mean to him.

Whimpering, the mage stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the man.

“Don’t be sad… I’m happy now…”

His skin still crawled at the touch, but Blake was in control. And he made sure the man was aware of it. Blake could touch, but he wouldn’t be touched. Not yet.

“Adam. My name is Adam,” the man said quietly, his arms restrained by the mage. “And I want to take care of you. I want to claim you properly Blake. If you’ll have me. To take you, hold you, love you. We don’t have to touch each other down there. Never again if you don’t want. I just want you to be loved. It’s all I ever wanted. And I’m sorry for going about it the wrong way before.”

“I… I don’t know if I can,” Blake whispered, pulling away from the man. “Thank you, but I can’t just go with you.”

“Can I at least see you again some time?”

Blake thought for a moment, his eyes glancing toward where Dr. Marin. was still searching for a new filter. The man had said he needed to move on from Erith if the elf wasn’t going to talk to him any more. But going out with someone from his past?

“If… if Dr. Marin can go with us,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” Adam smiled. “I’d like that. I haven’t been able to talk to the doctor in years. How about tonight? Maybe around seven?”

“I’ll see what Dr. Marin says,” Blake said evasively, feeling his nerves bubbling over.

He hurried away from the man, his anxiety spiking to new heights with every step he took. Finding Dr. Marin, Blake grabbed the man’s sleeve, tugging it urgently.

“Can we go please?”