If It Fits - 4. Chapter 4

April 4, 1995

I lay in the bed, panting, exhausted, and drained. Lou smiled down at me. “I cannot believe how much fun you are. I cannot believe it.” I felt my sexual ego soaring.

“Yes, well you have completely worn me out. Remind me never to sleep with someone 21 years younger than me,” I teased, at the same time exposing my base insecurities.

“Lovemaking skills are ageless,” he said. God, he was cute. “Besides, everyone needs a guide. Remember that Luke Skywalker had Yoda.”

“You are telling me that I look like an ancient alien with huge, pointed ears?” I asked.

“No, you are so beautiful.” He shook his head.

“What?” I demanded.

“I have been on the circuit for years, done things I cannot even describe, yet you can rock my world like none of those guys did.” Was that sincerity in his eyes?

“You are good for my ego,” I told him. “You make me feel young, desirable, and alive. I did not think I would feel that way ever again, much less so soon after Greg died.”

He read my mind. “Do not feel guilty about that. If Greg could see you, he would be cheering you on, sharing each orgasm with you.”

I laughed. “So we are having a ménage-a-trois, only our third party is a ghost?”

He looked thoughtful. “I have never had sex with a ghost before.” I smacked him playfully.

“Come on, I have to take a shower and get going.”

He stopped me and pulled me back to him. “Where are you going?”

“I'm going back to St. Thomas to get Greg's ship and sail back here with it.”

He studied me, sadly at first, then more animated. “Good. I will go with you.”

I stared at him, and thought about arguing. How advisable was it to run off with a man young enough to be my son? One who had already proven himself to be untrustworthy? But he would be fun to have around. Man would he be fun. And maybe getting him off the circuit and into forced isolation would be good for him. “OK,” I said.

“OK?” he asked, looking at me oddly.

“Yes. OK. Did you want to argue instead?” He laughed and kissed me, and then his kiss got more passionate. I pushed him away. “Stop. We will have plenty of time for that when we get to the boat.”

He grinned at me playfully. “Or on the plane.” We took a shower together and I blew him, discovering that I really liked the way he tasted. Marcel had once told me that everything about him was perfect: his looks, his tastes, his smells. The rot was on the inside. Maybe that could change. I headed downstairs, determined not to get my hopes up, determined to just enjoy it.

Brad was waiting for me with a sheaf of papers. He stopped and stared at me. “You fucked him.”

“Well, actually he fucked me. Several times as a matter of fact,” I told him, grinning. I saw him trying to be OK with this, to not be judgmental. I sat across from him and looked directly at him. “Bradley, he is a lot of fun, and he is a lot like me. When he is with me, I do not hurt. I am taking him with me on my voyage home.”

I saw Brad smile feebly. “Maybe it will be good for him too.”

“You are suggesting that I would not be good?” I teased.

“Now that is something no one has ever said about you,” he shot back. Lou came strolling in, looking amazing.

“Damn Lou, you still look fucking hot as hell,” Brad said to him, smiling.

Lou smiled back, hiding his surprise. “I look even hotter when I am fucking.” More laughter. “I will take good care of him.”

That last comment was said quite seriously. “Thanks Lou,” Brad said. We said our goodbyes then and headed to the plane. I nagged poor Lou all the way, making sure he had all his stuff and his passport.

As soon as we were on the plane he dragged me back to the sleeping quarters I'd set up. “It has been a long time since we last made love,” he said. “Almost three hours.” I laughed at him and slowly undressed him, taking time to appreciate every aspect, every part of his physique. Then I pushed him back on the bed and started kissing his lips, then his neck, his shoulders, his arms, his armpits (even his body odor was an aphrodisiac), his chest, his stomach, and worked my way down to his perfect cock.

I blew him, working him up, then stopped and moved lower, sucking on his balls, inhaling his unique smell. It fueled me on to his taint, where his odor was even more intense and more erotic, and then to his hole. I rimmed him, probed him, licked him, using all of my tricks, and then slowly inserted my index finger inside of him. He was tight, really tight, and I felt him cringe with even that small digit in him. I worked on his cock to take his mind off it, and using my mouth and my finger, I brought him off in one amazing orgasm.

He pulled me up and kissed me. “It is your turn now.”

“No Lou, I will take my turn later,” I said leering at him. “I cannot meet you orgasm for orgasm. You are simply too much of a stud.” And so much younger than me, I thought. We just lay there peacefully then.

“Thank you for taking me with you,” he said.

“I should be thanking you,” I told him with a leer. He chuckled. “You are a top. I hope my finger did not hurt.”

“I am, and no it did not hurt. It was hot as hell,” he said. “Marcel has been the only guy whom I've let fuck me, at least that I can remember. I would let you though, if you want to.”

I kissed him. “That's fine Lou. I am happy with you just the way you are.”

“I wish I were happy with me,” he said sadly.

“You can be,” I said, playing the psychoanalyst. “Would you like some friendly advice?”

“Why not,” he said, resigning himself to a lecture.

“Enjoy this cruise with me. Fuck me until you wear us both out. And think about what you might like to do with your life.” I kissed him after I said that.

“That was not what I was expecting you to say,” he said.

“What were you expecting?”

He sighed. “I was expecting you to be like Marcel, or Brad, where you reminded me of how I've totally fucked up and wasted my life, and how you tell me how I need to get my shit together and stop letting people down. Marcel is worse, because I have fucked him over so badly, so he usually interjects examples of some of the bad things I have done to him.”

“That is guilt, and it is not helpful. We will not think about the mistakes that we have made, either of us, on this voyage. It will be our voyage to only look forward. Deal?”

He gave me that smile, that multi-million dollar smile, and nodded. “There is one thing though,” I said, wiping the smile off his face. “When we get back, I think you should see a psychologist to help you deal with your self-destructive behavior.”

That pissed him off. I knew it would. However, I wanted to plant the seed before we got on the boat, and our cruise began. “You must think I'm really fucked up.”

“No, I think you are in a lot of pain, and I think that a professional may help you find some relief.” He stared at me and just nodded, then pulled me to him, hugging me tightly.

We landed and a car was waiting to take us to the marina. We pulled up to the ship and Lou's mouth dropped. “That is our boat? What happened to the other one?”

“Greg wanted one that was bigger, so we could cruise around and relax, see the world.” I heard the pain in my voice, and I know he did too.

“Stefan, remember our rule. Looking back, we only see happy things,” he told me.

The captain was waiting for us, along with the crew. “We're so sorry for your loss Mr. Schluter,” he said. I was suddenly intensely embarrassed, showing up on my partner's yacht with a new boy toy shortly after he died. I put on my game face.

“Thank you. It has been very hard. This is my old friend Louis-Charles, but you can call him Lou, no?” I said, asking Lou.

“That is correct. It is nice to meet all of you.” He poured on the charm as he introduced himself to the crew. I saw two of the crewmen, really cute young guys, stare at him with unconcealed lust, and that almost made me giggle.

“I am sure you are all nervous about this,” I said, addressing the crew. “This boat was Greg's toy, not mine. But I promise you that I will make sure you have your jobs until I sell it, and if the new owner will not hire you, I will give you a substantial severance payment.”

“Well thank you sir,” said the captain. “It is our job to convince you that you still need a yacht.”

“Well you can all start by calling me Stefan or Stef. If you call me sir, then I will assume you have handcuffs and you are planning something kinky.” The two young guys giggled, the rest of the crew just smiled.

“Do we have handcuffs on board?” Lou asked, joking.

“We can get some for you,” the captain said. I laughed with them. “Where to, uh, Stef.”

“Very good Captain,” I told him.

“If I call you Stef, you have to call me Skip,” he said. Was he flirting? Too cute.

“It is a deal, Skip. I want to go to St. Barts. You know a good beach?”

He smiled. “I do. Gouvernors Beach. As long as you don't mind clothing optional.”

“Not at all. Maybe you can get some shore leave there,” I said, winking at him, making him blush. I showed Lou around the ship and he was dutifully impressed. It was funny though. Things like this, luxury items, used to really thrill him. He didn't seem that excited this time.

“So this is our cabin?” he asked with a smile.

“You can have your own, in case you want privacy,” I told him.

“I don't want privacy. I want to fuck you.” And then I was in his arms, his mouth on mine, and he took me down the path to sexual nirvana like the skilled lover that he was.

April 6, 1995

“Those two cabin boys have a massive crush on you,” I told him as I played with the hair on his abdomen.

“I have no energy left for them. You keep me fully satisfied.” I beamed up at him.

“That is sweet of you to say, but if you want to fuck them, you can.” I tried to say this with conviction.

He looked at me. “You would be jealous if I did. You are just saying this because you do not want another relationship, at least not so soon.”

I stared at him, stunned that he could read my mind. “You are right, but I would not be too jealous. I guess I know I am not ready for a commitment, and I want you to know that too.”

“It is alright Stef. I may fuck them. Maybe together. Maybe even with you. But right now, I do not want to. And if you want to fuck the captain, you should go ahead. I will not mind. Well, not too much.”

“Why the captain?” I teased. “You are saying I should go for the older guy and not the young cabin boys?”

He laughed. “The cabin boys are cute little twinks. They are not your type, and they are both bottoms.” He held up his hand. “I just know. The captain is a man. Strong, handsome, with those Swedish looks of his.” I thought about Skip. Probably in his early 30s, with blond hair and pale blue eyes, he towered over me with his 6'5" of height. And he was big, big in a muscular way.

“I guess you are right. I feel bad. You have made me feel young and beautiful, and re-ignited my sex drive. I would feel like I was cheating if I seduced him.”

Lou really cracked up over that. “Stef, tomorrow I want you to go for it. If you do not, I will set you up.”

“Do not even think about it,” I said, horrified. “I can get into his pants all by myself.”

“I love you Stef, at a very deep level, but I am not in love with you. Do not worry about me. I am enjoying you, enjoying being with you, enjoying your body. I do not expect you to marry me.” He was so sincere, so deep.

“I love you too Lou. And I am very proud of how you, uh, how intuitive you are. And thank you for holding me close when I need it, and pushing me away when I need that too.” I gazed up at him, knowing that I meant it. It would not be hard to fall in love with him, but that was not in the cards. At least not now. I felt the ship maneuvering so we got up, pulled on some shorts, and headed up on deck.

“Good morning,” Skip said cheerfully. “That is Gouvernor's Beach. We'll take you over by Zodiac when you want to go.”

“I think I will go now,” Lou said, winking at me. “Meet me over there.”

One of the twinks, Eric, fired up the boat and took him over. I sat and ate breakfast, looking at the newssheet until I got bored. I saw a shadow and looked up to see Skip there. “Do you mind if we let some of the crew head over to the beach today?”

“Not at all,” I said. “In fact, I was going to see if you wanted to head over to the beach with me.”

“I was going to stay aboard,” he said. “The ship is like my child.”

“Well Skip, you have to leave your kids alone once in a while,” I said, teasing him.

“Let me see what I can do,” he said, and walked off. Everything about him was massive. A Swede, eh? I tried to block the memory of the other Swedish guy I'd dated all those years ago. Deke. He'd been hung like a horse. He'd also tried to kill me.

I finished eating and once again saw Skip standing over me. “I'll go over with you whenever you want.”

“I'm ready,” I said, getting up and grabbing my shirt. Eric shuttled us over. He was cute, with short brown hair and a skinny body. He had a big nose and a big Adam's apple, both of which made his appearance interesting, not ugly.

“Do you want to go to the left or right side of the beach?” Eric asked.

“The left side is more clothing optional, the right side is more family oriented,” Skip said.

“The left side,” I said, leering at both of them, and making Eric blush. The Zodiac pulled up into the surf and we jumped out. Skip carried a basket with food and water, plus towels and other supplies, over his head.

“This is a beautiful beach,” I told him. There weren't many people here. I guess Thursday isn't a big beach day. I found a spot up near the mangrove trees (or whatever they were) that lined the beach and took a towel from Skip. “Good spot?”

“Looks good to me,” he said. I pulled my shirt off, then my pants. We were both wearing sunglasses, but it was obvious that he was checking me out. He stripped down too. He had a hairy body, his blond hair making him seem even more masculine than before. I gazed at his groin, at his big dick that swung there like a snake. Damn. It had to be six inches long and it was still mostly limp. I lay on my stomach and he lay next to me.

I pulled out some sunscreen and handed it to him. “Do you mind?” He swallowed hard. He worked the lotion into my back and shoulders, massaging it in. “That feels so good,” I encouraged. He smiled but stopped when he got to my ass.

I looked up at him. “You do not mind do you?”

“Not if you don't,” he said, grinning. He began to rub the sunscreen on my ass, rubbing it in, squeezing my cheeks as he did it, letting his hand graze down my crack, slightly brushing across my hole. I sighed contentedly and spread my legs, giving him total access. He was face down too, hiding his dick, and I was sure he had an erection.

“Will you hand me a bottle of water?” I asked innocently. That meant he had to lean over me to get it. He moved to his side and I looked down to see his huge dick, fully engorged. It had to be between eight and nine inches long, and pretty thick too. I reached over and stroked it gently, shocking him at first. “Is this OK?” I asked.

“Yeah. It's just fine,” he said. His hand returned to my ass and began probing my hole. “This would be better.”

“You want to fuck me?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Really bad.”

“We should go back to the ship then,” I said.

He looked around then climbed over, lying on top of me, slathering my ass with sunscreen. “No, right here, right now.” He was really demanding, really in control, in complete charge. He stretched my ass with his fingers then lined up his dick with my hole.

“Condoms,” I said, breathlessly.

“Don't need one. Haven't fucked anyone in three years,” he said. Then he pushed into me. At first, it was painful until I adjusted to him, then it was uncomfortable, and then it was glorious. He lay over me, totally covering me up, so unless someone was right beside us, they wouldn't know he was fucking me. He moved in and out, slowly and deliberately, dominating me. “Good?” he asked.

“Fucking great,” I said. He thrust on and shot his load quickly, which was fine with me. This didn't need to be a long drawn out fuck, not here on the beach.

“That was really fun,” he said. “I need to get back to the ship.”

“Me too,” I said. We got up and I hid my erection long enough to get into the water and let his cum flow out of my ass into the ocean. I was pissed at myself for letting him fuck me without a condom. Really pissed at myself. I resolved again never to do that again, then let it go. Guilt would just make me unhappy.

Later, in bed with Lou, I told him about my encounter. He grinned at me. “So now you can handle my small size easily?”

“Size does not matter. You are a much better lover. But I'm pissed at myself.”

“Why? I told you not to feel guilty.”

I sighed. “He fucked me without a condom.”

He looked concerned. “Well, I will not lecture you. I am not one to talk. But we both know better.” I nodded. “I fucked Derek today.”

“Which one is Derek?” I asked.

“He's the one with black hair. He was cute, kind of fun, but nothing like you.” I rolled my eyes. “He says that Skip is like a monk. Never has sex. So maybe you're safe.”

“That's weird. He's on this ship with two cute twinks, both fuckable, and he does not have sex?”

Lou shrugged. “Who knows? They say he's obsessed with the ship. Maybe he fucks it.”

I laughed. “This may be a cooler ship than I thought if you can fuck it.”

April 11, 1995

“We will be at the Panama Canal tomorrow,” I told Lou as we lounged on the deck.

“What time?” he asked.

“I do not know. I will go find out.” I went up on the bridge but the captain wasn't there, his first mate had the watch. I wandered down to his cabin and knocked softly.

“Who is it?” I heard him ask.

“Stefan,” I said.

“Come in,” Skip said. I walked in and closed the door behind me. He was lying on his bunk, his cock out and hard as he stroked it while he watched a porno. A straight porno. I walked over to him and smiled, then replaced his hand with mine. I lowered my mouth down onto him, taking him as deep as I could, and then started to suck his dick like the expert cocksucker I am. Then, without warning, he blasted into my mouth, a huge load, so huge half of it dribbled out onto his pubes. He looked down at me nervously, a slight smile appearing, then vanishing.

“You're straight,” I said.

“Except for fucking you,” he said bitterly.

“That does not make you gay, that makes you horny,” I joked, and got a little smile. “Why did you fuck me if you were straight?”

“I wanted you to like me. I didn't want to lose my job. I love this ship.” I could see the fear and sadness in his eyes.

“Skip, even at my age I can get laid whenever I want. You do not have to fuck me for me to like you. I'm more concerned with how you captain this ship, and as far as I can tell, you do a hell of a job.” He nodded and swallowed.

“I love it, but it does get lonely.”

“Then why not find a woman?” I asked him.

“I don't know. Some people don't like that, they figure that a guy'll be so focused on his babe he'll ignore his duties.”

“Well, I do not feel that way,” I told him.

“Yeah, but you don't need or want a ship.” He swallowed again. “And that's a shame too, because I like working for you.”

“I guess I just do not think I'd use the ship all that much,” I said.

“We could do charters when you're not using it if you wanted,” he said.

That piqued my interest. “That's an idea. You know how that all works?”

“Yeah. Done it before. It's not hard. You just get a broker to help you lease your boat, make sure you do a good job, and you get a rep, then repeat business.”

“So do it,” I told him.

“What do you mean?” he asked, confused.

“I made a fortune by funding businesses, venture capital financing. That's what you're talking about. So you give me a plan, make it work, I'm with you.”

He stared at me. “I'm not sure how to do that.”

“Well then, when we get back to LA, I will have someone help you,” I told him, smiling. “Maybe make some more money that way too.”

He smiled at me and pulled me to him, his lips on mine, and his tongue in my mouth as he rolled me onto the bed and rolled on top of me. I just wrapped my legs and arms around him, enjoying his strength as he thrust against me. Then he rolled me over and ripped my shorts down halfway. I felt the lube on my ass and heard him open a condom packet, and then he was back on me, and in me.

He pulled me onto my side as he rammed that huge dick in me and started stroking me off, just as he'd been doing to his own cock. “You have a sweet, sweet ass,” he grunted into my ear. “Like the tightest pussy I ever fucked.” I moaned and thrust back into him, and that set him free. He blasted another load into his condom. After he finished shooting his load, he stopped, confused.

“What about you?” he asked. I slipped off of him, turned around, and kissed him gently.

“Do not worry about me, I had a great time. Besides, I have to save something for Lou.” He chuckled. “I thought you were straight?”

“I am. Something about you though. Dunno what it is. I just wanna fuck your brains out.”

I laughed. “You're actually not the first straight boy to tell me that. I'm glad to be of service. You mind if I stop by and see you again?”

“Sure. Hell, you're fun as shit.” He was really cute in a rugged, masculine kind of way.

“So are you. You are all man,” I said, finding his sensitive ego spot and stroking it. “All man.”

“You know, I'm thinking that maybe next time you go on a cruise, you could come alone and stay in here,” he said. He was adorable.

“I might just do that.” I kissed him again, a big smile on my face, and headed back down to see Lou.

“So when are we going through the Canal?” Lou asked.

“I have no fucking idea,” I said. “Got a condom on you?”

“Yeah,” he said, looking at me strangely. We were out in the middle of the ocean, just us, here on the deck. I stripped off my pants and stood there in front of him, stark naked, hard as a rock.

“Good. Fuck me. Right here. Right now.” He got a huge grin, pulled off his own pants, and then brought me to one amazing orgasm on one of the deck loungers. I looked up afterward to see Eric watching us from inside the boat, his pants tenting as he rubbed his cock.

“We have an audience,” I said.

“I'll take care of him later,” Lou said, making me laugh.

April 12, 1995

We lay out on the deck as we went through the canal, enjoying the experience, being raised up through the locks then cruising through the Gaillard Cut with massive cargo and cruise ships. Lou stripped off his suit when a big Royal Caribbean ship went by, his cute little ass out in the open attracting a whole lot of attention from them and a whole lot of laughs from us.

“So did you give any thought to what you wanted to do?” I asked him.

“You know what looks interesting?” I shook my head. “Being a newscaster.”

I looked at him curiously. “Well, you have the looks for it; you're comfortable in front of a camera. The only thing that might screw you up is your accent.”

“Not if I was in a place like St. Barts, or Canada, where they need people who speak French,” he said.

“You should talk to your agent when you get back,” I said. “If you need some help, you know I will do my best to get you in the door.”

He smiled at me. “You know Stef; you've done more for me than anyone. I think back to when I was a kid and you gave my mom that money, and how here, when I'm down and out, you're the only one who has faith in me. I owe you so much. I will always be there for you.”

I kissed him. “You are, you were. Without your help, I would still be in LA pining away for Greg.” I paused. “This, his death, has been tough, but not unbearable, primarily because we were having problems.”

“Problems?” he asked.

“He was focused on his career and treated me like shit. I finally gave him an ultimatum. Quit, or lose me. He did quit, and then bought this boat, and we had two weeks of heaven. But he wanted to go back to see fucking Forrest Gump sweep the academy awards.” I heard the bitterness in my own voice.

“And he fell back into it, into the business?” I nodded. “It is not unlike drugs and parties.”

“He went to the office and saw Robbie had instituted changes that had done wonders for morale, but Greg could not see that. He went apeshit, and brought on his own heart attack. It was almost suicide.”

Lou nodded. “Perhaps I am not the only one who needs some therapy?”

I smiled at him. “Perhaps.” I stroked his beautiful hair. “How come you did not ask me how much money Greg left you?”

“I do not need it, I am freeloading off of you,” he teased. “I wanted to get some direction, get an idea of what I wanted first. I needed to be stable, or I would have been back in Dallas with people who pretend to be my friends so I will fuck them.”

I smiled at him. “Five million dollars.”

“That is a lot of money,” he said. “Would you do me a favor?”

“Sure Lou, what is it?”

“Give me a hundred thousand dollars of it, and hang on to the rest for me. I may need more, but you can invest half of it.”

This was a new Lou, a mature Lou. A Lou with a chance to find happiness in life. “You got it.”

“I feel so energized now Stef. I feel like I want to get started right now!”

“We can be in Acapulco in a few days. Go ahead and fly back from there. I will be fine now, thanks to you.”

He made love to me then, under the bright stars that seemed to blanket the skies. It was a special bonding, with Lou saying goodbye to me, and hello to the new him.