If It Fits - 10. Chapter 10

May 13, 1995

Cody led me to the stairs, his arm around me. I felt like shit, absolute shit. I felt like my whole relationship with Greg had been a lie. Well, that's not fair, just the last six months had been a lie. I was so pissed at him, so fucking pissed. How could he do that to me? How could he fuck around like that and leave me there, pining away, trying so hard to save us, and trying so hard to save him? And then the son of a bitch goes and dies and leaves me here to find out. The least he could have done was told me, let me get mad at him, and then let me forgive him. But he was gone, and the cycle couldn't complete itself. I was stuck in emotional limbo. How the fuck was I going to work this out?

I felt Cody pick me up, his muscles hardly straining at all with my 160 pounds, toss me over his shoulder, and carry me up the stairs. I giggled then, amazed at this surreal existence of mine, where I was laughing on the outside and crying on the inside. He threw me on the bed and started taking his clothes off in a really sexy way, making sure I was paying attention, making sure I was appreciating every facet of his fabulous body. Then he was naked and hard, a more erotic sight would be tough to find, and he was taking my clothes off seductively. First my tie, then jacket, tossing them across the room playfully. He unbuttoned my shirt, licking at my chest as he did, then my abdomen. He unbuttoned my pants, and then lowered my zipper with his mouth, all the while grinning up at me. When he got to my feet he pulled off my socks with his teeth, and then started tickling them. I laughed and writhed, trying to get away from him, but he gripped my feet and just continued tickling me. When I thought I could take no more, he moved up my body, kissing along the way, until he got to my mouth.

His lips met mine, and despite the fire in his eyes his kiss was gentle. As he thrust against me, his big dick pressing and rubbing against mine, the kisses became more passionate. I wrapped myself around him, my whole body, my arms and legs clinging to him like he was a life raft, enjoying the feel of his body, of his powerful muscles, as he undulated against me. I was totally at his mercy, totally in his grasp, willing to do whatever he asked, anything.

He grabbed for the lube and I pulled up my legs, but he didn't lube my ass, he lubed my cock. “Condom,” I said breathlessly.

“Nope. Not this time,” he ordered. He lowered his ass down onto my dick gingerly, panting as he did it, the pain obvious in his face.

“Baby,” I said, “you do not have to do this.”

“I want to Stef. I want to. Just be patient, OK?” He was so cute, even now, with his dick partially limp, trying to spear himself on my cock.

“I've got all the time in the world,” I said, and stroked his face. Then I ran my hands lovingly over his body, worshiping him and his physique. He was justly proud of his body, he liked that, and it showed as his cock got harder. I was so focused on him; I was surprised when my dick pierced his ring. He gave out a little cry. “You feel so good Cody. You are so tight,” I said, urging him on.

He sat on me then, a cry of pain emerging from his mouth, and he held his body still, adjusting to my presence inside him. I just stroked his body, his arms, feeling his bulging biceps. I took his hand and pulled his fingers to my mouth, sucking on each of them. He grinned at me and moved a little bit. Then a little bit more. Then he stopped again to catch his breath. And then it dawned on me: He was a virgin. This magnificent young man, this man who had shown me he was an expert as a top, had never been fucked before. I felt the raw emotion swell inside me, the love I felt for him at giving me this gift when I needed it most. I didn't want to tell him with words because I knew I'd get it wrong, so I told him with my eyes. He leaned forward and kissed me, and I felt his ass begin to slide up and down on my cock ever so slowly.

The slow steady movement seemed to help him get into it, and he picked up his pace. He spread my arms to my side, pinning them down with his strong hands, totally dominating me, and then he started to really fuck me with his ass, using the same movements as a bottom he used when he topped me. “Stef, you feel so good inside me, so fucking good,” he said in my ear in his deep husky voice. “You are my first, you know that don't you? The first guy inside me?”

I moaned incoherently now, thrusting up to meet his movements, thrusting up to chase his tight little hole, to get more of him. I felt my orgasm surge inside of me and I thought about slowing him down, about making this last, but I sensed this wasn't about the ultimate, long lovemaking experience. For him it was about coupling, about the symbolism, about giving himself to me. “You're gonna make me cum,” I said shrilly.

“Oh yeah, baby, that's it. Fill me up. Come on, Stef. Blow!”

I screamed, literally screamed, as I shot my load into him. I don't know where it came from, I'd never done that before, but I literally screamed at the top of my lungs. I found myself overcome with lust and rage. He let my arms go and I slammed the sides my fists into him as I shot my load, slamming into him hard. Or at least hard for me. For him it must have been like a tap. But he picked up on my mood and put his weight on my pelvis, making me work hard to thrust into him, making me really push to keep the sensation going. I heard myself yelling and felt my fists pounding on his rock solid chest, felt my dick blasting into him, and then, as violently as it started, my orgasm ended. He sat there on top of me, my dick buried in his ass, pinning me down, smiling down at me. And then I started crying. Sobbing.

Cody didn't miss a beat. He pulled himself up and let me plop out of him, and then he lay down next to me and held me. “It's OK baby, it's OK. I'm here for you,” he said, over and over again. I turned away from him and he moved up behind me, shyly pulling back when his big cock stabbed me. I grabbed the lube and handed it to him.

I felt his fingers on my ass, probing me, and then his dick slid into me, that now familiar feeling, his whole length sliding in and out of me, only this time it was so slow and smooth, so loving, I felt myself melting completely. “God, Stef, you feel so good. I've never been with anyone so sexy, so satisfying,” he said. I leaned back into him, surrendering again, only this time to his penetrations. Normally after I cum, getting fucked is not my favorite thing, but not this time. This time, he could fuck me forever and it would be just fine with me, the feeling of him inside me, of how much he cared, eclipsed all the other emotions I felt in him, even lust, even the surge of lust as he blasted into me.

He pulled out of me and I collapsed on my back. He rolled over so half of his body was on top of me, making me feel his strength without crushing me, while his mouth, his face, nuzzled against my neck. I felt his breath in my ear, and it made my whole body tingle. I turned my face and kissed him. “Why?” I asked simply.

“Because you needed me, and I really care about you. You're way more to me than just a sugar daddy,” he said. I could see him cringe a little when he said the last part.

“Please do not talk about us like that,” I said. “I'm not your sugar daddy, I'm your friend. And you are mine.” He kissed me again. Was that a tear in his eye?

“This is the first relationship I've been in where I felt I could give more than just a fuck,” he said. “Although I guess that's what I just did.”

“That was way more than just a fuck,” I told him, “and you know it. I am amazed that a handsome man like you, at 23 years old, had never been fucked.”

“I'm a top. Most guys recognize that, that's what they want, and I give it to them. They really don't think about fucking me,” he said. It was actually very sad. He was like a piece of meat, used for what his partner needed. “Besides, I've never been with a guy that I wanted to, you know, let in.”

“I feel bad. I could have made it easier, better for you, if I would have known,” I said, gently stroking his cheek.

“No. I liked it the way it was. I got to do it the way I wanted to, staying in control.”

“I'm sorry I hit you,” I said.

“You fucking kidding me? That was hot as hell. Your whole body was a big ball of rage, and you just exploded. Man, I'll be thinking about that when I jack off for years.” He kissed my neck. “Besides, baby, you don't hit very hard.”

I punched him again and he just looked at me, and we both laughed.

“Why did you not let me use a condom?” I asked nervously.

“I wanted you to know that I trust you. You said you only have safe sex, I know I have, so I figured we'd be OK. That and it was my first time, so I wanted to feel your naked skin, and feel you shoot inside me.” I kissed him again then. He would be easy to fall in love with.

May 14, 1995

“Good morning!” I said to Brad and Robbie as I walked into the kitchen. They both stared at me, their mouths wide open, totally unprepared for me to be this chipper. Cody came strolling in behind me and wrapped his arms around me and sucked on my neck. “Stop it. No hickeys.” He laughed.

“You seem awfully happy this morning,” Brad said, and got a dirty look from Robbie for maybe jinxing my good mood.

“Cody let me fuck him last night. I was his first,” I said proudly. I giggled then as Cody blushed three shades of red.

Brad laughed. “You think he's ready for me?” Cody looked at me quizzically.

“Brad is hung like a fucking horse,” Robbie said. “That's why I walk funny sometimes.” I watched Cody relax, adapting himself to this environment where gay men could talk about fucking like they were talking about the weather.

“That's not the only reason,” Brad said. He leaned over and kissed Robbie, then stroked his face seductively, only he did it with his hand in the shape of “the silent duck.” Robbie swallowed hard, and his eyes got that glazed look, the look of extreme lust.

“You guys are into fisting?” Cody asked. I laughed at that, at the fact that Brad had let his guard down and revealed their secret, and at the fact that Cody knew what the shape meant.

“Sometimes,” Robbie said, blushing. He looked ashamed and embarrassed.

“I bet that's fucking hot,” Cody said. “Damn.” All three of us looked at Cody with entirely different expressions. I looked at him, so proud of him for what a nice guy he was, at how sensitive he was to other people. Robbie had a look of appreciation, gratitude for not being scorned at having this most personal thing revealed. And Brad looked at him lustfully, which was the funniest of all, because Brad was a major exhibitionist.

“Have you done it before?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“Once. There was some guy that wanted me to, showed me how to do it, and talked me through it. Took for-fucking-ever.”

“Did you like it?” I asked, intensely curious.

“No, not really. It was, uh...”

While Cody was pausing, searching for the word, Robbie jumped in and completed his sentence for him. “Gross.”

“No, not at all. I mean, he really got into it. I just wasn't all that into him, the guy. Well, I guess I was pretty into him, fist and all,” Cody said, trying to joke. But then he sensed Robbie's insecurities. “It's a really intimate thing. I wouldn't want to do it unless it was with someone I really cared about.” If he hadn't won Brad and Robbie over before, that would have done it. But he wasn't done. Cody looked over at me. “I'd do it with you though, if you ever wanted to.”

“Now I understand why you're so happy this morning,” Brad said grinning. “I was expecting you to be all morose.”

“No,” I said honestly. “Greg is dead. This last year was shitty, even shittier than I first realized. But he is dead, saved me the trouble of killing him myself.” I tried to joke. “I said at his funeral that I wanted to forget all the bad times and only remember the good. And my new friend here helped me get back to that point.”

Cody grinned. “You sure you don't want me to kick Zach's ass?”

I slipped into my slutty persona. “I was thinking along entirely different lines. You into threesomes?” Brad and Robbie shook their heads, while Cody laughed.

“I'm up for anything,” he said.

“I'm still hungry,” I said.

“You want one of these muffins?” Brad said, passing me the tray.

“Not what I had in mind,” I said, as I seductively grabbed Cody's crotch. Then I took his hand and led him back upstairs and gave him one great blow job.

It was a beautiful day in Malibu. Robbie, Brad, Cody, and the three boys were all out in the surf. It was the perfect sea for everyone but Brad. It was the equivalent of a bunny slope for skiers. I just watched them while I gripped a bunch of papers in one hand and a joint in the other. I was just about to light it when I was interrupted.

“Mr. Stefan, there is a young man here to see you,” Rosa said.

I put the joint down. Fuck. “Show him out here, please,” I said. I knew who it would be without looking up. Zach.

“Hi,” he said sheepishly. “You probably don't want to see me at all, but I...” and his voice trailed off.

“I'm actually glad to see you Zach. Have a seat? Smoke?” I asked. He shrugged. I lit the joint then, took a big hit, and passed it to him. In the crowd that we ran in, pot was no big deal, more like a cocktail.

“I have all of these feelings inside me, and you're probably the only one who would understand them,” he said, sounding slightly philosophical as the pot impacted him.

“So talk to me,” I said.

“I'm so mad at Greg for lying to me about you, and I'm so pissed off at myself for hurting you. I'd be pissed if someone did that to me. But I, uh...”

“You miss him,” I said, finishing his sentence.

“Yeah. I do.”

“So do I. I promised myself when I closed his casket that I would only remember the good times. You gave me a shock yesterday, but I've dealt with it now.”

“Cody probably helped,” Zach said, smiling out into the surf at them. Then he saw Robbie. “Shit. I'll probably get fired on Monday.”

“No you will not. No one is mad at you. Now you fuck your new boss, and your life won't be worth a shit. Brad will make you vanish.” He laughed and I joined him, but it really wasn't funny. Brad was quite capable of doing it. He was just like JP. I saw Cody looking up on the deck, seeing me with Zach. He looked nervous, but I waved to reassure him. Still, I saw him talking to Brad and then he headed up to see us.

“I should probably go,” Zach said nervously, as he saw Cody walking up to the house.

“He will not beat you up, Zach,” I said, smiling at him. He had dark brown hair and green eyes, both very similar to Brad.

Cody came bounding up to the deck; his wetsuit opened up and pulled down to display his upper body. He'd pushed it down low enough that you could see a hint of his carefully trimmed, blond pubic hair. The suit clung to his lower half like it was his own skin, accentuating each curve, each muscle. He looked more hot like that than he did when he was stark naked.

“Cody, this is Zach,” I said. Zach eyed Cody with unrestrained lust and fear. Cody smiled at me and took a hit off the joint, then another.

“We need to have a talk, you and I,” Cody said to him firmly. I saw Zach swallow hard. “Come on.”

“I really should be going,” Zach said, terrified.

“Follow me,” Cody ordered. Zach got up and followed him. Cody turned to me and winked, gesturing me to come along. Cody led him up to the guest room and got right into his face. “You've been bad, really bad. Now you have to pay for it.”

“I, uh, I...” Zach stammered.

“Don't fucking argue with me bitch,” Cody said, and slapped him hard. “Strip.” Zach looked at me, pleading, but I did nothing. I understood Cody now, knew his game. He was an expert at identifying people and their pain, and on fixing it.

Zach took off his clothes, showing me the body that I'd only seen a piece of last night. He had a nice chest, not even close to as muscular and ripped as Cody's, but nice anyway. It narrowed into his waist, just the hint of a “v”, to where his trimmed bush of dark brown pubic hair presided over his nice cock, even in its limp state.

“Take off my wetsuit,” he ordered. It was small on Cody, so Zach had to work to get it off. I smiled, noticing Zach was hard now. So was Cody. He took his big dick and slapped it across Zach's face. “Take off his clothes,” Cody ordered, pointing at me. “Using only your mouth.” Zach made to get up but Cody slapped the side of his head. “I didn't tell you you could stand up.”

Zach waddled over on his knees and undid my button with his mouth, then lowered my zipper with his teeth. He grabbed each leg of my shorts with his mouth, pulling them down until they were on the floor. Then he did the same thing with my boxers. I felt his tongue flick across my dick, and he looked up and winked at me, careful to avoid letting Cody see. His way of telling me he was OK with this. He turned to Cody, silently asking permission to stand up to take off my shirt. Cody nodded. Then he used his mouth to pull my Polo shirt over my head. I felt him nuzzle my armpits as he did, making me giggle.

“On the bed, on your knees,” Cody said. Zach almost ran to the bed and knelt there, doggie style. Cody walked up to him and ran his hand over Zach's ass. I looked at them, admiring the contrast. Cody's firm, muscular ass, and Zach's cute, soft one.

SMACK! Cody slapped Zach's ass hard, the sound making me jump. He caressed the spot that he'd just hit, and then smacked him again. Then Cody moved to the other cheek and did the same thing. He began to alternate, back and forth, until Zach's ass was bright red. Damn, that had to hurt.

“Come here Stef,” he ordered. I felt myself complying automatically. “Smack his ass. Smack it hard!” I slapped Zach’s ass hard, mimicking Cody’s motions, with him watching me. He was hard as a rock, but Zach was even harder still. There he was, on all fours, his ass bright red, tears pouring down his cheeks, while his dick poked toward the bed throbbing.

“Harder Stef,” Cody ordered. “He's been a bad boy. He has to be punished. You fucking slut,” Cody said to Zach with scorn. “Say it. Say ‘I'm a fucking slut’.”

“I'm a fucking slut,” Zach said softly.

“Louder bitch!” Cody ordered, and moved my hand away and used his own again, hitting Zach really hard. Zach cried in pain.

“I'm a fucking slut,” Zach said loudly.

Cody ran his hand down Zach's crack. Zach moaned involuntarily, which earned him another slap. “You moan when I tell you to moan. You move when I tell you to move!”

“Yes sir,” Zach said. Cody got the lube and jammed a finger into Zach's ass in an act that looked violent, but I could see how he was doing it, and where he was aiming it. I saw Zach try not to moan or move, but it was difficult. Cody knew how to work a man's ass. He stuck two fingers in, fucking Zach with them roughly. He handed me a condom.

“Roll over,” Cody ordered. Zach did as he was told, his cock twitching and leaking. He was really into this. “Fuck him Stef. Fuck him now.” I slipped the condom on, slicked on some extra lube, and just slammed into him. His ass was loose, especially compared to Cody's, but it was also soft and welcoming. I pounded my dick into him. Zach locked his eyes on mine, trying to tell me without words how good I felt inside him. Every time I slammed into him my pelvis hit his sore ass, combining pain and pleasure.

“Slut boy. Fucking slut boy. Only happy when you have a dick in your ass. Fucking whore,” Cody sneered, and spit on him. Then he spit on him again, right on Zach’s face. “Wipe it off and lick your hand clean,” he ordered. Zach did as he was told, even as I fucked him.

Cody knelt over him and lowered his ass onto Zach's face. “Eat my ass. I want to feel your tongue deep inside.” Cody was a little scary until he looked at me and smiled, then pulled me into a really deep kiss. I melted into him, his dominance such a turn on. I had to slow down to avoid cumming. Cody broke the kiss.

“Deeper you whore,” he ordered, and I could see Zach's neck strain as he tried to thrust his tongue up Cody's hole. Cody pulled off of him and stood behind me, pulling me out of Zach. “Make him eat your ass Stef,” he ordered, and then he put on a condom and slammed into Zach. I knelt over Zach and felt his tongue working my ass. God, it felt so good. I just knelt there, letting him rim me, letting him probe me. He worked me with an eagerness I'd rarely felt. Cody leaned over and started sucking on my dick, and that did it. I felt my balls rise, felt my load boiling up, and then Cody pulled off of me, and then pulled out of Zach. I felt him gasp at the loss of Cody's dick, but he kept on licking my hole with gusto. Cody stroked my cock and moved his pelvis forward, his big condom-clad cock flopping around. His hand moved on my cock like silk, and then I exploded all over Cody, all over his sexy abs, his trimmed pubes, and his shaved balls.

He kissed me lovingly, and then gently moved me off of Zach. “Lick me clean,” he ordered. “Eat his cum.” Zach knelt up and did just what Cody told him to do, running his tongue appreciatively over Cody's body, slurping up my load. He was like an energy dynamo, licking Cody's body with a frenzy.

“On your back slut,” Cody said, and spit on him again. Then he slammed his cock back into Zach. I watched as Zach's eyes rolled back into his head. “Beg Stef to suck your dick,” Cody ordered.

“Stef, please suck my dick,” Zach whined.

“Fucking slut. Want it!” Cody yelled, and pulled out of him and slapped his red ass again. I saw Zach cringe.

“God, Stef, please please please suck my dick. Please. I'm begging you. Suck me off. Please,” Zach begged convincingly.

“That's better,” Cody said, and slammed his dick back into Zach. I lowered my mouth onto Zach’s throbbing cock and started working him, feeling him undulate under me, feeling him move his hips with me.

Cody pulled my head off then and really slammed into him. Then Cody came, really cutting loose. I could hear the slapping as his hard pelvis slammed into Zach's soft, red, ass. Cody growled, roared, as he came, enjoying his orgasm. He pulled out of Zach when he was done and pulled the condom off carefully.

“Open your mouth,” he ordered. Zach opened his mouth and Cody dropped the condom in. “Drink my cum.” Zach didn't miss a beat, he sucked on the condom, trying to get Cody's load out. “Good boy. Now swallow it.” Zach nodded, and swallowed the condom. Zach lay there on his back, his cock throbbing. If I breathed on it, I think he would cum. I expected Cody to take care of him, but he didn't. “Go sit in that chair,” he said, pointing at one of my side chairs. “You don't move, you don't say anything.” Zach got up and headed over there, his ass still bright red.

Cody led me over to the bed and lay down, pulling me to his chest. “You OK baby?” he asked me gently.

“I am impressed,” I lied. “How do you know how to do this, how to be so authoritative?”

He shrugged. “I dated a guy who was into this shit. He hated himself, had all kinds of issues, and liked to be dominated. So I did what he wanted, what he liked.” He studied me. “You're looking at me like I'm a fucking hustler.”

“Were you?” I asked.

“Is that what you think?” he asked, his voice loud, pissed off.

“It is a question, not an accusation. You think it is such a horrible thing, for a man to have to sell his body for money?”

“Yeah, I think it would be. To have to have sex with someone you didn't want to,” he said a little self-righteously.

“I was a hustler,” I told him. “Does that mean you think badly of me now?”

“You? You were a hustler?” He stared at me. There was a noise from the corner. Cody turned away from me and yelled at Zach. “You move again I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!”

“I'm sorry,” Zach said.

Cody turned back to me and smiled. He moved his mouth to my ear. “We're going to wait until we recharge, then fuck him again. This time, we'll let him get off. Then we have to treat him really well, to let him know that his punishment is over.” I kissed his cheek.

“Good.”

“I hustled,” he said. “I needed to pay my bills, and I liked nice things. Nice clothes. Drugs. Partying. Hustling helped pay for that shit.”

“Why did you not tell me that?” I asked.

“Because I did not want you to think that I was hustling you.” He swallowed. “I really like you, Stef.”

“I like you too,” I said, but I wasn't sure I entirely believed him. Was he hustling me? Was he playing me like he'd been playing with Zach? Was he just giving me what I needed? I thought about it and decided that even if he was, he had feelings for me. He'd given me his cherry after all.

“So you hustled?”

“I did. I was raised in the Paris slums. My mother was a common whore. When I was old enough, I did the same thing. It was the way I supported myself.”

“How did you...how did you do so well?” It was really the ultimate rags to riches story.

“Right before my mother died, she told me to go to the US and find my father's family. He fucked my mother during the war, and was killed shortly after that. His family was wealthy, and that got me an education, and some seed money. From there, it was simply smart investing.”

“Wow. You had to hustle to eat. I just did it for a new Gucci watch,” he said sadly. “My parents were relatively affluent. I grew up in a nice suburb of Milwaukee, Brookfield, out west. I just was never that smart. I tried the college thing, but it wasn't me. I feel so cheap, like scum.”

“That is stupid,” I told him. “We all do things for different reasons. If you make this a guilt thing, and you carry it with you, you will be as bad as your friend who taught you how to do this,” I said, pointing to Zach. Cody kissed me passionately, and I felt his hard dick. “Let's help Zach out.”

“Get over here!” Cody ordered. Zach ran back to the bed. “Suck my dick,” Cody ordered. Zach inhaled him, his cock hardening as he did. “You're a good cocksucker. Show Stefan how good you are.”

Zach moved over and latched onto my dick, and Cody was right, he was a good cocksucker. Cody moved over behind him, put on another condom, and slapped Zach’s sore ass a few more times. I felt Zach's mouth quiver in pain but he didn’t bite me. Then Cody slammed his cock into Zach, and I felt Zach's mouth flutter again. Cody began fucking him again. I pulled his head off my dick and slid underneath him until our faces were at the same level. I pulled his head to mine, letting our lips meet, our eyes lock, just like last night. I reached down and gently stroked him, softly, barely touching his cock. “I'm going to make him cum now,” I told Cody. Cody didn't care. He was focused on slamming into Zach. With the softest of touches I could manage, I nursed Zach toward his orgasm, and then he came, stifling his yells and moans because Cody hadn't given him permission, but that didn't matter. His facial contortions were reward enough. Then Cody growled again and blew his second load, filling up another condom.

Zach looked around, the spell broken, his lust sated, seeming almost disoriented, almost like someone who'd been hypnotized and had snapped out of it. Cody lay down on the bed on his back. “Come here, Zach,” he said gently. Zach moved over to him reluctantly. Cody reached out and pulled him in, against his side, and kissed him nicely while he stroked his back. I moved up to the other side and Cody put his arm around me too. I thought back to other times I'd been like this, with other guys. With Brad and Robbie, only with our clothes on. With JP and Sam. With JP and Jeff. This was nice, but not even close to those other times.

Cody kissed Zach gently, really being nice to him, so I leaned across and did the same thing. “You've been punished, it's over,” Cody said. Zach looked at me meaningfully.

“Now you are forgiven,” I said. Zach smiled at us.

“I probably should get going,” Zach said uncomfortably.

“You can go if you want to,” Cody said, “But it would be nice if you stayed.”

Zach looked to me, so I picked up the ball. “Seems you promised to fuck me anytime, anywhere, right?” He nodded with a smile. “Well I’ve not gotten to have your nice dick in my ass yet.”