If It Fits - 21. Chapter 21

August 9, 1995

“You have such a nice ship,” Jenny said. “I was worried I'd be seasick, but it's been smooth as silk.”

“If we did this in December, when the weather is rough, you may feel differently,” I said.

She seemed to be gazing off, deep in thought, and then she turned to me. She just stared, wanting to ask me a question, but unsure if she should. “Do you think Casey is too young to be in a serious relationship? To be so active sexually?”

“No,” I said. “Most guys his age are thinking of girlfriends, or they have one. It is no different. And as for being sexually active, this is a blessing.”

“A blessing?”

“Yes,” I told her as I watched the Golden Gate Bridge come into view. “Young men will have sex whenever they can. They are crazed. It is hormonal. Together, they have a release. Alone, they would have to find one.” I stopped to point out Fort Point. “Most boys masturbate a lot, several times a day, but they will still look for an outlet. Casey and Alejandro do not need to, they have each other. That is much safer.”

“You mean AIDS,” she said nervously.

“Not only AIDS, although that is a big danger. There are people out there, men, who will prey on young guys like them. Not pedophiles, per se, but older guys who like teens. Those relationships can be exploitive, usually are. I am relieved that I do not have to worry about that.”

“Surely they wouldn't go sleep with some gross old man,” she said.

I laughed. “Alejandro was willing to sleep with me and JP to escape from his own hell.”

“You are not gross old men,” she said.

“You would not say that if we were sleeping with Casey,” I said. She thought about that and nodded.

“I just worry that they are so young, that they will get hurt.”

“Your older son is straight, no?” I asked.

“He is.”

“He had girlfriends, and they hurt him, no?”

“A few did,” she said.

“Does that mean he should not have fallen in love? Should not have dated?” I asked.

“I see your point. So you are telling me that I should encourage them, their relationship?”

“I do not know that you have to encourage it, I think the best thing to do is to stay out of the way. Brad and Robbie dated throughout their senior year of high school, and they had their share of problems. I found it best to be a friend and surrogate parent to both of them, and to remain neutral in their relationship.”

“That's probably good advice,” she said. Then she was absorbed as we passed under the bridge and the whole City came into view. Casey and Alejandro joined us on the deck to stare at this, the most beautiful city in the US.

“Wow,” Casey said. Alejandro walked over and put his arm around him in an affectionate yet possessive manner. They were so cute together. Alejandro had a natural boldness that elevated his beauty to the level of charisma. Casey, once so pudgy and dorky, had transformed himself in the last month. With coaching from Cody, he’d dropped at least 15 pounds and gotten fitter, converting even more fat weight to muscle mass. He'd never be skinny, he was naturally beefy, not unlike Jeff and Robbie, but he was very masculine and very attractive. His deep tan had lessened the stark impact of his freckles, and his new hair and clothes gave him almost a big man on campus air.

Alejandro had said that Casey fucked him and he loved it, but that Casey didn't like bottoming. That may have something to do with penis size, something I pointed out to him. Alejandro had a good sized dick, but from what he said, Casey was pretty small. I wondered if Alejandro would collect on his bet with Cody on his 18th birthday. If he did, he was in for a whole new experience, I thought with a smile.

I felt an arm around my waist and turned to see JP looking at me. “They're cute aren't they,” he said, nodding his head toward Alejandro and Casey.

“You make them sound like puppies,” I teased.

“In a way, they are like puppies.”

“Do you think they will last?” I asked him.

“It could happen.”

“They are only 15, almost 16. That is so young to fall in love and find your life partner,” I said.

“You think? Seems to me that you were just a little older than them when we first hooked up,” he observed sagely. “You're my life partner, right?”

“You get so smug when you are right,” I said petulantly, but smiled. “You are my life partner.” We stood there, arms around each other, and watched San Francisco pass us by.

August 15, 1995

“You definitely have the market cornered on cool ways to travel,” Jenny said as my plane touched down in LA.

“Being as rich as God has its advantages,” JP said. I gave him a dirty look. We taxied up to the waiting limo and hopped out of the plane and into the car. It was that simple, and Jenny was impressed.

I sat in the back, facing forward, with Jenny on one side and JP on the other, while the two boys sat across from us, facing backward.

“It's 5:00pm. There will be traffic,” I said. “This will take a while.”

“That is good. I want to talk to you,” Alejandro said.

“So talk,” I said, knowing what was coming.

“As much as I love being with you, and as nice as Palo Alto is, we want to stay in Malibu,” Alejandro said. And that was exactly what I was expecting, with one exception. The word, ‘we’.

“We?” I asked.

“Casey and I want to stay in Malibu,” Alejandro said assertively. Casey was looking at his mother.

“You want to stay in Malibu?” I asked Casey before Jenny could jump in.

“Yeah,” he said definitively.

“With him?” JP joked. “Really?” Alejandro kicked him playfully.

“Yeah. I love him. I want to stay here with him,” Casey said, not to me, not to JP, but to Jenny.

“That's impossible,” she said. “We have already imposed on Mr. Schluter's hospitality enough this summer. You belong at home, baby.”

Casey and Alejandro looked at me, pulling me into the decision quite abruptly. “This is a decision that is between Casey and his parents,” I said. I saw Alejandro about to jump down my throat but I willed him to silence with a look. Later on I'd have to ponder how well that worked. “But, if they decide that Casey should stay here, he is more than welcome.”

“Really?” Casey asked.

“Stef, that is impossible,” Jenny began. For the first time since I'd met her, she was pissed at me.

“It most certainly is not. And the offer to stay is open to you as well,” I told her.

They looked at me confused, all except JP, who sat there pretending he wasn't even in the car. “What are you saying?” Jenny asked.

“Casey wants to stay, you like it here, stay with him. You can help Cody and Brad, not to mention Robbie and Jeanine, keep an eye on these two hellions, and then I will not have to worry about them while I'm up in Palo Alto.”

“That would be awesome, Mom!” Casey said enthusiastically, pushing the issue.

“I don't know. Let me talk to Mike,” she said, stalling.

“Well, I will leave it to the two of you to work out,” I said to Casey and Jenny. “As for you,” I said to Alejandro, “you can stay in Malibu, but that is contingent on your good behavior.”

“If Casey goes back to Chicago, I don't care where I am. I can be miserable anywhere,” Alejandro said pouting.

“Yes, but if you come to Palo Alto you will make me miserable, and I would much rather have you here bothering Cody,” I said with a smile. JP chuckled, while Alejandro just frowned back at me.

“It's gonna be really cold in Chicago soon,” Casey said to his mother with a grin.

“I said I'll think about it,” she said, irritated. “I'm really not sure what Mike will say, and I'm not sure that my living out here will do much to repair our marriage.”

I could see the conflict on Casey's face. He wanted to stay here in paradise with his boyfriend, and he wanted his mom around too, but he didn't want to ruin their marriage. “Mom, I'll be fine here without you,” he said. “Really. We'll do great.”

“I guess that's a good incentive for you to get excellent grades?” she asked, striking the bargain.

The next day she and Mike caved to the inevitable, so now Alejandro and Casey would be able to stay together, in Malibu, and with Cody and maybe Jenny there to keep an eye on them, I could leave them behind without worrying. Freedom is a wonderful thing.

September 4, 1995

The mountains were beautiful, not the beautiful green they'd be after the winter rain, but the beautiful golden color that coats Northern California hills like a beautiful carpet. I sat in JP's Mercedes, annoyed that he was driving this big tank like Mario Andretti.

“This car does not handle like your Acura, so slow down,” I bitched.

“You are complaining about my driving now?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “We really are like an old married couple. I guess that makes you the wife.”

“And how glad are you that that is not always true,” I teased. “When we get back to Escorial, we have to move into one of the other rooms.”

“Why?” he asked.

“I'm going to redecorate our bedroom,” I told him.

“I like it the way it is,” he said, coming awfully close to a whine.

“It looks like an old English study. It is dark and dreary, and you’ve not re-done it in years. The bathroom is way too small, there are not even close to enough closets, and it's musty,” I said, enumerating its flaws.

“Oh,” he said. He looked sideways at me, irritated, and then smiled. “I guess since you're living up here, you should be able to remodel the bedroom.”

“How ironic,” I said. “That is exactly what I was thinking.” I pulled out the plans I'd sketched while lounging around in Santa Cruz. We'd had a family weekend on the beach, a good time for everyone except Cass. She looked as if the child she was pregnant with would pierce through her stomach like that creature in ‘Alien’. “Would you like to see my plans?”

“I can't look while I'm driving,” he said. “Besides, nothing I say will change your plans anyway, so just do it and surprise me.”

“But what if you hate it?” I asked, concerned.

“How could I hate it? It could be the ugliest room in the world, as long as you're there, I'm happy,” he said.

“Since when did you become so, uh, human?” I teased.

“You like the old repressed me better?”

“No, I like this new improved JP. I will not bother you about that again,” I said hastily. The phone rang, interrupting ‘Take it Easy’ by the Eagles. JP liked to listen to “oldies,” something I found amusing. He pushed a button and a voice came through.

“Hello,” JP said formally.

“Dad? It's Ace. Cass just went into labor, so we're heading straight to the hospital,” we heard.

“That's fantastic,” JP said.

“How exciting!” I chimed in. Speaker phones were wonderful.

“I'll give you a call and let you know how things are going. It could take a while,” Ace said.

“It could indeed. I have been through the process,” JP said. “Let me know if you need anything.” Ace mumbled something in response, and then JP pushed the button, “hanging up” the phone and bringing the Eagles back on. “Another grandchild,” he said to me, smiling.

“André would be so happy, and so proud,” I said, daring to bring up his former lover. “And he would be proudest of you, and how well you did raising Ace.”

“How do you know?” he asked me with a smile. “You never even met him.”

“Was he a complete idiot?” I asked.

“No,” JP said.

“Then he would be proud of you.” He just rolled his eyes at me.

“I have so much to do next week,” I said. “It is getting harder to stay organized.”

“Hire an assistant,” JP said. “Someone cute with a big dick, who likes older guys.”

“Very funny. I can take care of myself,” I groused, even as I considered his idea. “I made a list of things I have to do. Would you like to hear it?” I asked, knowing the answer in advance.

“No,” he said, predictably.

“Fine. Take me to Redwood City please,” I said.

“Redwood City?” he asked. “You want to go to your ship?”

“No. I want to go to that Porsche dealer. Carlsen, is it not? I want a new car.”

“You want to go buy a new car?” he asked.

“Yes. Why not? It is early, they are open, and I want a new car.” I loved doing this, throwing spontaneous things at him to screw up his schedule.

“We need to be around in case Ace calls,” he objected. Whenever he started voicing objections, I knew I'd win.

“It will be a while, and we were not going to hang around the hospital all night. You will make me take a cab?” I challenged.

“I will take you to Redwood City,” he grumbled.

“You will want a new car too,” I teased.

“I have my Acura. It's pretty new,” he objected.

“Then you will have to live vicariously through me,” I teased. I drove home that night with a brand new Porsche 911 Carrera 4 convertible. It was red, of course.

September 6, 1995

Yesterday I'd been preoccupied with my new, well, cousin. I actually considered all of JP's children, and their children, as nieces or nephews. I was “Uncle Stef” to them. That made me smile. And this latest baby was adorable, in a baby kind of way. A healthy girl, Courtney Clerreault, already hungry and loud. I laughed, remembering how Cass had initially been shy about breast feeding in front of us. Like I'd never seen boobs before. But that was yesterday, and we spent most of the day at the hospital, well, I did. JP got to escape to go teach his classes.

But not today. Today was the day I was determined to be productive again. I headed down the freeway to Los Altos and to the headquarters of the venture capital company I'd started in 1973 with Luke Carruthers. I'd let Brad and Luke run the show over the past few years, and they'd done great, but I needed something to do, and even they had to grudgingly admit that my judgment and instincts were normally quite good. I was worried that Luke would be nervous, apprehensive about this, about having me underfoot, about me interfering with his management, and I was resolved to avoid doing that. I thought about how Greg had been unable to transition power to Robbie, how he'd been unable to let go, and that dampened my mood until I drove into the parking lot. There was a parking space right out front next to Luke's with my name on it.

I smiled to myself. How nice of him to try and make me feel welcome. I'd only been living in Malibu for 20 years or so. I strolled into the lobby, done in a modern décor with lots of marble, and straight up to the receptionist. “Mr. Schluter! Welcome. We've been expecting you. Everyone is so excited you are here.” They were?

Almost instantly another young lady emerged and led me to my new office, a massive corner thing right across the hall from Luke. It was beautiful. There must have been some very angry people that got tossed out of here to make room for me. “Mr. Carruthers was hoping you'd stop in when you arrived,” she said diplomatically. I strode across the hall.

“Stef!” he said excitedly and got up to give me a big hug. “How awesome that you are here!”

“I do not think I have ever felt more welcome in my life,” I said honestly. It was all a little overwhelming.

“Don't be ridiculous. You have a cult following among our analysts. That Rapiddrive deal last year made us all a fortune. Remember how we were going to pass but you decided to back them? They think you have the Midas touch.” He was so genuinely enthused, it was incredibly pleasant.

“Well I must work hard not to blow my reputation,” I teased.

“Speaking of blowing,” he said, raising his eyebrow. “Any chance that I might get some extra fringe benefits?”

I laughed. “Luckily for you, my new relationship is much more flexible.” He went over and locked the door, and then, just like I'd done so many times before, I showed him another reason why he should be happy I was back in town.

September 29, 1995

“You have meetings at 10:00am, and a lunch meeting at noon. Then one of the analysts wants to meet with you at 1:30, and Luke wants to touch base at 4:00 before you leave,” Eloise said. She was incredibly efficient, and I was really happy with her but for one thing. She was there for my business needs, not my personal ones, and she'd made it clear that handling personal details, like my social calendar, did not fall within her job responsibilities.

“Then I will have to take these unfinished studies with me,” I said, looking at the mound of paperwork on my desk. “Did you take care of Alejandro's birthday present?” I asked.

“I did,” she said, unable to hide her irritation. This relationship, she and I, was not going to work as it was currently configured. “Have you considered my recommendation to hire a personal assistant?”

“I have thought about it. What would such a person do?” I asked.

“If you think about it, Stefan, you have an awful lot of things to manage. You have a plane, a couple of houses, a boat, and some cars. Not to mention a lot of people to stay in contact with.” I looked at her, finally starting to understand where she was coming from.

“These things must have been quite a burden,” I said to her genuinely. I guess I did have a lot of crap I just dumped on her. “I am sorry for being so selfish.”

She smiled appreciatively. She just wanted hope, a prayer that things would get easier in the future. “I don't mind helping out, but you are such a dynamo, it is hard to keep up with all of your activities.”

You have no idea, I thought. “I understand now. I am due to leave for LA tonight. Do you think you can line up some candidates for me to interview next week? JP says to find a cute boy.”

She laughed at that. “You will have someone to interview on Monday.”

“You are that desperate?” I teased.

“You have no idea,” she said.

October 2, 1995

“Happy Birthday, Alejandro,” I said, giving him a big hug. JP and I had flown down to be here with him and Casey, who would celebrate his own birthday in four more days. It was nice to be back in Malibu with Brad and his family, and with Cody. That brought an involuntary smile.

“Why thank you,” he said. “I already got my present from Casey,” he said, and rubbed his ass.

“That is not what we had in mind for our gift to you,” I said sourly. “I figured a car would be more useful.”

“You got me a car?” he asked, a huge grin on his face. He was positively jumping up and down.

“You are 16. It is time,” I said acting like a sage, and handed him a box. He ripped it open furiously and pulled out a set of keys with the famous BMW propeller logo. He grabbed Casey's hand and tore out front where there were two brand new BMW M-3s. One was black, the other was blue.

Alejandro hit the key and the black car chirped. “I don't even have my license yet,” he whined.

“Well now you have an incentive.”

“Why are there two?” Alejandro asked.

“The other one is a lovely blue,” I said wistfully. JP smiled at my drama. “Is not blue the trademark color of the Chicago Cubs?” I asked. Casey looked at me, stunned and uncomprehending, until I pulled a second set of keys out of my pocket.

“For me?” he asked.

“There are no other Cubs fans here,” I teased. “At least none who would admit it.” The poor boy was overwhelmed, while his mother gave me a displeased look.

“You are spoiling my son,” she groused half-heartedly.

“He is a good son, and he deserves to be spoiled.” Casey and Alejandro both were doing well in school. “They cause you no major problems. Is that not worth a lot?”

She smiled. “I guess it is.”

We all went out to dinner at a local chic restaurant, a very fun and festive affair. Brad come rambling up to me, really excited. “Stef, you know how the jury is deliberating?” I stared at him blankly. “The OJ Simpson jury?”

“Ah yes. We must leave before they find him guilty and the locals burn the town down,” I said, then reproached myself. God, I sounded like a snob.

“There's a reporter here from the Times. He says they've already reached a verdict and it's going to be announced tomorrow.” He was so engrossed in this whole thing it was quite funny.

“Well then it seems I will be incinerated with the rest of you,” I teased.

“You assume he's guilty,” Brad said. “I bet he gets off.”

“You are serious?” I asked. “He did it. It is as plain as the nose on your face. And that is quite pronounced.”

“If it doesn't fit, you must acquit,” Brad said, quoting Johnny Cochran. “Beyond the shadow of a doubt, that's what they have to prove, and the defense has been amazing. That one line, that quip that sticks in your brain, that will do it.”

“I am not convinced that one line is significant enough to do it, but it was a good sound bite, I will grant you that.”

“What is a good sound bite?” JP asked, coming into the conversation a little late.

“If it does not fit, you must acquit,” I said.

“That reminds me of our relationship,” JP said.

“And how exactly does that remind you of us?” I asked petulantly.

“If it fits, you must never quit,” he said, mimicking Johnny Cochran but still sounding like a sage. Brad rolled his eyes, but I just gazed at JP, trying to convey all the love I felt for him in one glance. “This thing we have Stef, it is bigger than love.” I felt tears in my eyes, tears of joy, but there was really no rejoinder to that, so for once, I stood there speechless, arm in arm with the man I loved.

“Yes it is,” I said, then desperately needed to lighten the mood before I turned into a blob of Jell-O. “It is even strong enough to survive me re-decorating our room.”

He smiled at me, appreciating that I'd brought him back from the brink of emotionalism. “And when will that be done, exactly? I had a whole condo in Chicago built out in a couple of weeks.”

“Sometimes perfection takes time,” I chided.

“Just like our relationship,” he said. I gave him a nice kiss and told him that I loved him with my eyes.