Caught in a Desert - 1. Caught in a Desert

The darkness under my eyelids tempted me to go back to sleep. I wanted nothing more than to give in to the impulse, but the grittiness in my mouth was disturbing. The grains tasted like sand floating in my mouth, almost as if they were alive. It was quite unnerving. Moving my tongue around, the sensation dissipated. Lifting myself to a sitting position, I felt groggy but perfectly rested. How was that possible? I blinked rapidly as my mind and body tried to process my surroundings. Where was I, and how did I get here?

I was surrounded by white and blue blobs with a red banner separating them. I could tell there were words everywhere, but they were blurry. Was I disoriented? Maybe a little. Was I dreaming? It remained a possibility, considering I had no freaking clue where I was!

My head didn’t hurt, and neither did my body. I waved my arm to check my coordination, and it seemed fine. Panic constricted my heart. I remembered seeing a hooded wizard bursting out of my new Chromebook as I was watching a movie. He grabbed me by the neck and pulled me through the screen. I know I screamed when I crossed the threshold, but that’s when I blacked out. My body immediately felt lighter, as if I didn’t weigh anything! It didn’t make any sense, though. I should have hit my screen, right? Right?

Nope. Just a big, white flash and here I was. Just where the hell was I? I needed to evaluate my surroundings immediately! No sense in panicking. That would lead to more trouble, I just knew it.

Different square bubbles with random gibberish outlined my vision. My sight was so blurry I couldn't read what they said. No matter how close I got to them, they never cleared up. Turning around, I saw nothing but white! I ventured out and was only walking into a vast wasteland of nothingness. Retreating, I tried to make sense of the blurry blobs.

Patting my face, I realized my problem. My glasses! Where were my glasses? I was so close to quoting Velma for a second, but yeah, I couldn’t see a damned thing without my glasses. I took a cautious step and hit solid ground. A familiar panic crept inside me. Why was I so thirsty? Was it because of the sand? Why was it moving in my mouth?

I started to wander, mostly to calm myself. Part of me was frightened I would fall into a hole or the strange wizard might come back and throw me somewhere else. I was obviously not in Kentucky anymore. Looking to the right, I saw a sea of white. No motion or texture--just white. Nothing was out there. The banner kept my attention, as it contrasted from the white and blue. Walking closer, I could read the red bar if I squinted.

Forums. Stories. Blogs.

The rest wasn't needed. I knew where I was. I was inside a website.

With a forum.

People!

There were bound to be people! Maybe I can find a way out of here!

"Try again."

My heart kicked into overdrive. I wasn’t alone! The voice sounded like it came from the heavens. "Uh, hello?"

"Good! You can hear me."

Hesitant, I thought of how to proceed with the new conversation. "I, uh, yeah! Can... can you tell me where I am?"

"You're in my website."

Alright, so the site belonged to him. "And what am I doing here?"

"I needed a beta tester. Feel free to roam, click on anything you want. Nothing bad will happen to you."

"Can I see you?"

"Do you see me now?"

"No."

"Then that answers your question. Look around, click on things, type some stuff. See if there are any broken links or misspellings."

"Wait, wait!"

There was no response. My old Boy Scout training was kicking in. Survival. How would I survive here? I had no trees or a pocket knife. Maybe I needed to play along. It was obvious I was the hostage here and my captors were the wizard and the voice in the skies.

“Might have helped if he could get my glasses….” Stepping closer to the red bar, I sorted through my options. So, I was a beta tester. Click on things; see if stuff’s broken.

It wasn’t my first time as a tester. Well, not in this sense. After finding a few bugs on my college’s website, the IT guy in the library asked me to help out. Little did he know I was an asshole.

I still am, at least in my opinion. I put on a good face for the hordes of shoppers at my job, but that’s because I can’t tell people to quit buying ice cream on their food-stamp cards. By all means, though, all the other cashiers come to me when they need help on the registers. Even the supervisors ask how to void a payment tender in the middle of a transaction. I swear, no one is adventurous enough to push a damned button!

“That’s why I picked you.”

Jerking my head upward, I scanned the white skies, searching for the mysterious and booming voice. “You can read my mind or something?”

“Thoughts are translated into coding here, so technically, yes.”

I wanted to speak, but I forced myself to hush. No thoughts meant no code. Standing firm, I crossed my arms and tried to look intimidating. “Got some sort of code to get my glasses?”

“Oh. Those didn’t materialize? Interesting. I programmed the software to include your clothes, but I guess it didn’t register glasses as a clothing item. Hang on a sec.”

Silence filled the space. An intense strain hit the back of my eyes. I fell to my knees and gasped from the pain. It vanished almost instantly. I looked down and saw my hands clearly. Holy crap! I… I could see! Without my glasses?

“Did that work?”

“Y-yeah! Yeah, it did! You cured me? My optometrist said I’d go blind by 50.”

“I just used the magnification tool. Editing it into the code for your existence wasn’t hard.”

Whoa, whoa! “Existence? Code? Is that how I’m here? I’m just a sequence of commands?”

“Well, duh. You’re in a website. I thought you were brighter than this.”

I was starting to get irritated with this random voice. “That’s a two-way street, bud! You dropped me in here without providing a tutorial.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me!” Damn being a hostage. If I was to do a job for what I assume to be my survival or the privilege of being sent home, I could use a little training. “I got hands, but no mouse and keyboard. You’re the one with the tools, but I don’t see a lend-a-tool program. How about throwing me a bone?”

Met with the still quiet, I huffed and turned towards the red bar. Guess I’ll be figuring sh—

A sleek, black keyboard appeared in front of me. It hovered magically, and frankly, I was speechless.

“For a wise ass, you have a point. There’s a keyboard you can use, but the mouse is out of the question, at least until I figure out the proper coding. For now, you can walk up to a link and palm it. You’ll be sent to the corresponding screen. The board will follow you, and you can adjust it to whatever position you need. Just don’t break it.”

“Uh, thanks? So… beta testing? Anywhere you want me to start?”

“Profile completion. Make a profile, fictitious or real, I don’t care. Look for misspellings and overall professionalism. You can pull up a notepad window by doing that stupid thing with both index fingers and thumbs. You know, like you’re pretending to take a picture?”

With the floating keyboard at my hip, I felt more confident in starting. Moving it up to my waist, I play-typed, making sure my arms and fingers would be comfortable. As I slid my hand across the device, shivers went down my spine. The voice in the sky could summon objects and found a way to bring a human into a digital world through coding. If I wasn’t the victim of such technological poppycock, I’d have called it that—nonsense!

Nevertheless, here I was. I had to play along. There was no other option! He brought me here, so it makes sense he can do much more terrible things.

Shakily, I sighed. “Alright, let’s make a profile!” I scanned the top of the site. Existing user…Sign in…Sign up! There we go!

On my way to the right-hand corner, I marveled at the floating keyboard. As the voice promised, it stayed in position when adjusted. Passing the bubbles of recommended stories and club postings, I silently read them. The dates threw me off. They’re all from several years ago! What kind of site is this? I curiously poked the recommended window, but it was solid as a rock.

Contemplating on how to proceed, I reached for the proper link but halted as a faint circle appeared. Dropping my hand caused it to fade away. When I pointed, the shape reappeared. Moving my finger, the circle followed without a fault. Is this my mouse? The voice said he had to make some code for one, but I think I can use this. Landing the cursor on my target, I kept my hand still and lowered my index finger.

The circle glowed blue. Hot dog! Is it this simple? I raised my digit, and the circle responded by filling itself.

Everything around me darkened. What just happen—

A large, white, pop-up screen came down from the bleak heavens. I barely noticed it in my peripherals. Display name, email address…. Recalling the voice from before, the best option was to create a fictitious profile. I don’t need him knowing my real name.

“Smart, but I already know your name, Jake.”

I held my breath. How did he know? Was this part of him writing my existence code?

“Partly, yes. Not to be a creep, but I’ve been keeping an eye on you for a month now.”

Great, I’ve been stalked!

“I’m sorry, but you try finding worthy beta testers.” The voice’s tone was lined with sarcasm, but I felt he was being sincere.

“You…think I’m worthy?”

“Yes. You’ve made enough social-media posts about your incompetent coworkers and rants on productivity in the workplace to sink a battleship. Throw in the spotless punctuation, your IT Bachelor’s, and a few other odds and ends, and you grabbed my attention.”

With my life being read back to me, I shook my head in disbelief. “That’s nice. You know me, Mr. Voice in the Sky, but I don’t know who you, or that crazy wizard, are!”

“Now, now. I take offense to that.” The voice’s laugh echoed from above. “I’m the wizard, wise ass, and I’m not crazy.”

“Okay, but that still doesn’t tell me who you are.”

“And I won’t tell you.”

Irritated, I crossed my arms. “And why not? I’m not doing a damned thing until you tell me something!”

“Nope, Rule Thirteen.”

“I… what?” Did he just spout a rule number at me? Was this guy an ‘NCIS’ fan?

“I’ve seen my fair share of it, but no. Rule Thirteen: I will feel secure in my superiority. You have no way of being stronger than me, but I’ll just remind you about your existence code.”

My initial survival instincts came flooding back. Yeah, hostage. Well, more like a prisoner, or indentured servant, but he’s right. He can delete me anytime he wants. “Even if I say please?”

“No.”

Asshole.

“Sticks and stones, but I’m not going to be a complete dick about this. I’m here to help guide you if you have any…site-related questions.”

A glimmer of hope trickled in my mind. He’s not leaving me completely stranded. The plan of being subservient was solidified. I’m not in control here, and I’m not sure when I will be.

“Can you tell me more about this site? Its purpose, your goals for it, and…well, anything you want to share.”

***

Gay Authors. Founded in 2002, a site for aspiring authors and hobbyists to create, publish, and share stories. Compared to other story sites, this one wanted to stray away from sex and focus on plot-based writing.

I can actually appreciate this.

“Thanks.”

Rolling my eyes, I soaked in the wizard’s tale while filling out my fake profile. “Yeah, yeah. I’m just saying I’m glad this isn’t a sex-filled site. Just tell me I don’t have to read any of the stories.”

“Is that a problem?”

“Well, if I come across two dudes porking each other, I might need you to digitize a bucket.”

A brief silence filled the air as I read over a few lines, making a mental note about a grammatical error. “Hey, I was just jokin’ about the bucket!”

“Oh, I almost have the code ready for you. You aren’t serious though, right?”

“What? About the gay stuff? I’m fine with gay people, but I—”

“You’re straight?” The voice boomed throughout the website. I swear I saw my textbox shake.

Scratching my head, I finished typing and selected the ‘next’ button. “Well, yeah. Didn’t you figure that out when you were stalking me?”

“You’re fucking with me! All your social-media accounts didn’t have a relationship status or preference. That’s a flashing signal for closeted gay guy!”

Huh? I should probably change that.

“Yeah, no shit! Damn…I thought you’d be a good tester.”

Wait! Thought? Not good? Delete? “Hey, whoa! Before this goes any further, I need to know if you plan on getting rid of me.”

The ethereal voice huffed. “Yeah, I kidnapped you. I’m not an idiot.”

It took everything I had to remain on my feet. Scared stiff, I stammered, “O… okay, let’s take it easy. I’m still here, remember? Making the best use of your time and resources. I’m not into the whole bum-bumping thing, but I can still do some work.”

Another silence. Clenching my eyes shut, I prayed for salvation. I want to live! I’ll do anything to get out of this!

“You’ve got a point.”

I almost sobbed. I had made my case, and the wizard deemed me worthy yet again.

“I’ll keep you away from the Stories part of the site unless you go there of your own free will. Focus on profile completion and forum interaction for the time being.”

Hearing the assignment sent my mind adrift.

Forum interaction. My initial beacon of hope. The wizard’s site had a forum filled with responses from people across the world. It was my key to letting someone know I was here.

Too bad this was the test server.

The wizard was no fool, and I should have realized this when he mentioned my entire existence could be transmitted into code! He mirrored the actual website several years ago and made a fake version of Gay Authors.

This was his playground, and I’m nothing but a gerbil.

But I’d rather be a gerbil than a dead man.

***

How much time has passed? I surveyed the profile-creation system, writing a few grammatical suggestions along the way. There were a few awkward moments, especially when he had a blue information box stating, “Welcome”, with neither a period nor exclamation point, only for the first word in the body of the paragraph to say, “Welcome.” For a guy running a website, he doesn’t proofread a lot.

Silence. He was away, either sleeping or not paying attention to me. I tried to formulate a schedule for when the wizard was not around. So far, I only noticed three long breaks for when I wasn’t talked to.

The only problem was I couldn't tell time. I didn’t have a clock available, and if I were to guess, I had been there for a day. What confused me more was my lack of sleep. I wasn’t tired. Is this part of my existence coding? I didn’t need to sleep or rest?

Am…am I even human anymore? Shaking off the psychological theories, I continued the work. I needed to make some progress. My survival mindset came back with a vengeance. What if I test everything? He was willing to get rid of me just because I’m straight. If I ran out of things to test, I’m a goner!

With the profile completion prompts and menus done, I took some time to make a list of everything that could be meddled with. Every tab, widget, and drop-down bar became of interest to me.

My heart soared when I moved to the FAQ page. So many articles! I wonder if he’s kept them the same as his active site?

“I have.”

Hearing his voice startled me. Before I could ask myself how long he had been listening, I froze my thoughts. I couldn’t have them relayed. “Morning. Profile-completion menu is completed, and I have a document ready with the suggested changes.”

“Really? You have a couple of files already made in your drive. You made a list?”

“Yeah, you weren’t around when I got done to direct me, so I started poking around. With the number of errors the profile-creation process had, I assumed the rest of the site needed editing.”

I waited for a response, but a green bubble popped up on the suggestions text file. “I see. I’ll get these errors fixed, then I’ll have you go through it again.”

Again? My desire to grin was palpable. I could go through the process again, gaining me more time. “Got it. So, you don’t have a problem with the list?”

“Make it longer if you want. I won’t stop you from working harder.”

Hearing the confirmation, I focused on the FAQ tab and waited patiently for the wizard to go away again.

***

My system was annoying, intentional, and almost flawless. My high-speed work ethic was no longer existent. Time was priceless, and I valued every second.

“Wizard?”

“Yes?”

“There is a themes drop-down at the bottom of the page with the current version being four-point-six. Do I need to test each one of these?”

“No, I took out the themes option for the main site.”

He was still there after four hours. In two more, he’ll be gone again. The break will be somewhere between three and six hours this time. Every hour, I found a reason to call for the wizard, just to confirm his presence.

When he was away, I kicked it into high gear. Finding more to test was a scavenger hunt. I was a fool and burned through half of the FAQ articles too quickly during the first session in which I was monitored. Those were valuable, and I didn’t realize it until the damage was done.

Out of desperation, I set foot into the Stories tab for the first time. I needed more to do unless I faced potential death. There were a lot of old accounts, even by the test server’s time date. Some of the authors hadn’t been active in a few years. Did they not like the site? Were they successful in their writing ventures? Is gay-romance fiction even a profitable market? Scrolling through the story tags, I found solace in the ‘no sex’ option.

Some of the stories weren’t bad. I clicked on a few titles and lost interest after the first few paragraphs. I don’t know when I realized it, but I was on the third chapter of a story! Did I get sucked into this one? I mean, it was a good concept. How often could I read about a shapeshifting jackalope? Poor guy was a social outcast in both the human and the animal world. It was much better than the first one I read! I don’t need to know how jacked the main character is or what his personality is like. Let me decide that! Remembering the title, I wrote it down and decided to come back to it. I didn’t need the wizard thinking I wasn't doing my job. Maybe I can return when he goes to bed.

Getting back on task, I recalled my process. Scan, evaluate, make suggestions, wait for the wizard to sleep, and tinker. Every so often, I explored my capabilities, just in case I was granted a new tool.

I had no command prompt, clock, or administrative power. There was no internet travel. I was confined to the test server. There was no way to communicate with the outside world from the tools I had. I couldn’t even have another tab of the server; anytime I needed to go to a different portion of the site, I had to leave and hope I remembered the proper information. This made certain areas of the FAQ difficult as there were some conflicting statements or policies in place.

All I possessed was my keyboard, a menu for generating documents and spreadsheets, and a filing system to organize them. No hidden buttons or keyboard shortcuts were available. It was the most primitive operating system I had ever worked with. Clean and efficient, but primitive.

The wizard was no idiot, either. My bargaining for more tools was almost always shot down. It was a fluke that I was granted the ability to create spreadsheets. I didn’t even offer him a reason; he assumed it would increase my speed. In turn, it gave me something else to tinker with, wasting more time. When asking about my existence code, I was ignored. Unlike anything I’ve ever seen on TV, the wizard was smart about not feeding others valuable information. It’s like he has his own code for being an evil overlord or something, and I was his prisoner.

Prisoner. The word broke my mental silence. I bit my lip. He was still around and probably heard me, but my new title was disheartening. I’m just a prisoner.

“Yes, but what I’ve given you isn’t exactly bad.”

I had to hear this explanation. “How so?”

“You’re code at this point. You don’t need water, food, sleep, or a bathroom. Aside from the code being altered or deleted, you’re immortal.”

“Im… immortal?” Before then, I hadn’t considered it. The lack of hunger, thirst, and sleep was obvious, but I never followed through on the benefits. But what’s the cost? I stay here, testing a website? No internet? My mind wandered to more desired experiences. No more food? I would miss Drake’s Mini Juicy Lucies.

It’s either this…or die.

The sad reality lowered like a spiked-ceiling trap. The wizard’s words from earlier echoed. He’d get rid of me when I’ve lost my usefulness. There’s no way he’d let me go back to humanity even if I swore myself to secrecy.

He’s not stupid.

I’m stuck here.

***

“Jake, I have a new task for you.”

My eyes fluttered open. A… a new task? He has a new task for me!

“The site will be updating to version seven-point-four in a few days. Monitor the bugs during the transition as I roll out the new Premium benefits.”

Yes, wizard! I waited a few moments, just in case he had more to say. After the silence, I traversed to the proper tab. A new task! I was bountiful with joy. It had been so long since I was asked to work. Anything for the wizard. Patiently, I stood, awaiting any abnormalities on the site.

The job will be done. I’ll make sure of it. I need to keep my end of the bargain. I do what the wizard asks of me, and he keeps me! Three versions of the site have come, and I tested them all. No one else, I am the only trusted one.

Running my tongue across the roof of my mouth, I felt the grains of sand. The wizard told me it was part of the existence code. I could feel them dancing around, and they reminded me of my purpose.

I am the beta tester. Forever and always.