A Plethora of Prompts - 1. PT Prompts 1 and 2 - A Visit from a Friend

Drip

Drip

Drip

Plop

Drip

Drip

Drip

Plop

The steady rhythm of water droplets falling into what I assumed was a puddle was mesmerizing at first. Three drips to a louder plop. It eventually became annoying enough to make me give up on sleep and wonder where the hell it was coming from. Houses are not supposed to have drips and puddles on the inside. “Ugh… don’t tell me my stupid old pipes finally burst. How the fuck am I going to afford that?” I groused.

I opened my eyes and moved to stretch my arms over my head.

Thunk

My arms hit something solid above me. “What the fuck?” I tried to sit up and bashed my head on whatever was above me. “Ow! Shitfuckcrapfarts!” I moved my arm to rub the top of my head and jammed my elbow into something solid on the side of me. “What the fucking stupid bitchfuck fuck fuck?!”

Horror set in, as I realized I was trapped inside something. My claustrophobia kicked me into full-on panic attack mode, and I flailed all my limbs, screaming at the top of my lungs in a tantrum to rival any two-year-old’s.

“Get” pound “me” pound “out” pound “of” pound “here!” I managed to get out between whaling on the lid of whatever I was in.

“Entspann dich!”

Muted light crept in as someone moved the lid, grunting and groaning, then let it hit the ground with a resounding crash. I jumped over the side, tripping in my usual graceless style, and hit the floor with a loud splat. I pushed up from the puddle I landed in and stood, breathing heavily. “Eeew!” I wiped my hands on my jeans… uh… black stretchy pants that I hadn’t been wearing before.

“Schön dich endlich kennenzulernen!

I snapped around, eyes widening. Wherever I was, I wasn’t alone. A tall man with long, black hair stood, grinning at me. He wore tight leather pants, a frilly white shirt, and a long, black cape. Wire-rimmed glasses covered bright, hazel eyes with a tinge of… red? He looked like a vampire pirate.

“Addy?” I stared, incredulous.

“Genau!”

I raced over to him and threw my arms around him in the tightest hug I could manage. “What are you doing here?”

“Ich dachte, es wäre an der Zeit, dass wir uns treffen.”

“English, Wolfie. Mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut.”

“Sorry. I thought we should finally meet.”

I pulled back and held both of his hands. “I can’t believe you’re actually here! What? Why? How? When?”

He laughed. “One question at a time!”

A wave of dizziness washed over me, and I swayed on my feet. Addy gently guided me to a bench, and we both sat.

“Easy, my friend,” he stated in a low murmuring voice –a combination of a cat’s purr and wolf’s growl. “It will take a while for you to adjust.”

“Adjust?” My vision blurred. I felt hypoglycemic, but there was something else too. Insatiable hunger for… something.

“Here. This will help.” He handed me a metal goblet. “Trink. Uh… drink.”

I raised the cup to my lips and drank it down in several gulps. It was sweet and slightly thick. My vision instantly returned to normal. Too much to normal, since I could see perfectly clearly. “What the hell did I just drink?”

“Blutwein.”

“Blood wine?” I shrieked. “You gave me blood? I thought you were vegetarian!”

Addy rolled his eyes. “Duh. It’s synthetic.”

“Synthetic blood?” Why the hell would I need to drink any blood? My stomach roiled. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Nein! Not blood! Uh… wine! Glühwein. From Germany.” He handed me a bottle with a label with German writing and a picture of spices.

Glühwein? I could have sworn he said blutwein.

“Okay… well, that’s a relief. What’s up with the outfit? And why am I wearing different clothes?” I wasn’t just wearing new pants. We looked like vampire pirate twins. The look suited Addy perfectly. Me? Not so much. I looked around, finally realizing where we were. “Why the hell are we in a crypt?”

“You seriously haven’t guessed? Diarmad… Noel… my favorite stories….”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh c’mon. You’re no more a vampire than I am an actual Valkyrie.” My eyes widened. “Oh, shit!”

Addy laughed. “Now, you understand!”

“Well, I guess both of our secrets are out. It still doesn’t explain the clothes or how you got me into a freaking cemetery.”

“What do you remember about last night?”

I furrowed my brow. “I read the latest Ask An Author, edited an anthology story, then headed to Calgary to check on my penguin assassins and escort one of them to Valhalla. I was on the fence as to its worthiness, since it died eating an obviously-poisoned pizza, but Thor reminded me about the time it saved me from the putrid Zombie by dousing it with Pepsi.”

“And after that?”

“I came home, ate dinner, and fell asleep.”

Addy nodded. “You spilled chili on your pajamas, so that’s why you’re wearing different clothes. Sorry they’re so old, but the people in this crypt died in the seventeenth century.”

“Eeeww… I’m wearing dead peoples’ clothes?” I did a little dance in place, flailing my arms like Kermit the Frog. Like that was going to get rid of the death cooties.

“Relax! I keep extra on hand for just such an emergency. No gross dead people germs.”

I stood still and narrowed my eyes. “Okay, so that explains the clothes. Now tell me why you brought me to a tomb instead of visiting at my house like a normal person.”

Addy raised an eyebrow and looked at me expectantly.

I did my best imitation of a Captain Picard facepalm. “Because you’re not a normal person.”

He shook his head, smiling. “Any more than you are.”

“Touché. So how about we get the fuck out of this death house and stop by the stables? There’s a bunch of winged horses we can choose from for our flight to Arizona. That is where you want to go, right?”

“Natürlich, meine Freunde.”

“English! I’ll speak German next time I come to Germany.”

Addy hooked his arm with mine. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Allrighty then. Let’s go visit Cole!”

Addy started forward, but I stopped him by placing my hand on his chest. “By the way, if you ever put me in a coffin again while I’m alive, I’m going to skewer you with a stake to the heart!”

He shuddered. “Duly noted. Now, los geht’s. Uh.. let’s go!”

We marched out of the crypt, into the moonlit night.

German Translations:

Entspann dich – relax

Schön dich endlich kennenzulernen – Nice to finally meet you.

Genau – exactly

Ich dachte, es wäre an der Zeit, dass wir uns treffen. – I thought it was time we met.

Mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut – My German is not so good.

Natürlich, meine Freunde. – Of course, my friend.

This story is a combination of the first two Prompt Team prompts:

PT Prompt #1 - Technical

Halloween Onomatopeias - Write a story or vignette using as many words that sound like they mean like "splat", "plop", or "fizzle".

PT Prompt #2 – Creative

You wake up in a crypt on All Hallows Eve, your clothes ripped, bloody, definitely yours-- and from the seventeenth century.