Luke Hanson's Mind & Punishment: A Teen in Despair - 18. Chapter 18 - A Night of Surprises

Tuesday 7:23pm - Luke

"So, my little loved-up Brother from another Mother, tell me everything?" Taz asked excitedly as I took my sneakers off and climbed on his bed.

I lay on his grey duvet and shoved a pillow over my head. I felt much younger tonight, like a silly fifteen-year-old with his first secondary school sweetheart.

My God, it was sad!

I lifted the pillow off my face and let my head fall to the side in the direction of Taz. "It was fucking A man!"

Taz laughed and cupped my face. "See, with a little patience you can be happy!"

"I know, I know. Jesus I fucking know," I shouted, my body excited to be telling Taz about this."

"So did you... well, you know?"

"Man, no way! I can't."

"What?"

"Listen if I tell you, you have to not laugh or tell a soul."

"Okay," Taz replied, his expression turning back to normal. As in, being a good friend kinda look.

"Sex, okay? It's a massive issue for me. Don't ask me to explain it because I can't. My screwed-up head makes me so scared that he will want it soon, and I won't be ready. At fucking eighteen, I have to tell him I ain't ready... that I don't do sex. Fuck Taz, I am such a loser!"

"Chill you don't know that! And remember, you've only been seeing each other a short time, Luke. Maybe sex isn't on his mind at all. Perhaps he's at the exact same stage as you."

"Maybe," was all I said, unconvincingly.

Taz sat back against his headboard and sucked in some air. "I suppose I should ask, what do you think the issue is when you get to that stage in your mind?"

"I don't know! It's strange because I love cuddles and kissing and affection. I know I have a decent body that I'm not ashamed of. It's just the thought of someone touching me in places that only I've touched, you know?"

"So just to be clear, you're okay down in that department, and you... well empty the tanks on a regular basis?"

I looked at Taz and had a sudden fit of laughter. "Sorry, I told you not to laugh, and I did instead. Taz, why didn't you say, can I get hard and do I wank my pole? We do seem to be in a 'no limits' friendship."

Taz went a little red and cleared his throat. "Well it's out there now so there we are. The message has been understood."

"Anyway, yes is the answer. I have no issues in both those areas."

Taz nodded, grinning. "Anyway, Luke, we have spent far too long on this subject. I am still yet to know how the evening went."

"Ahh, well, as I said, it went really well, and it was amazing spending quality time with him."

"Is there a but coming. I feel there is?" Taz put his hands behind his head, waiting for me to answer.

"Well, the night's start was a bit deep, and we got a little frustrated with each other. Hmm, maybe not him so much. Okay, so I did get a little annoyed that he won't admit to his family that we were at least friends. But I dropped it, and the rest of the night was amazing. We kissed for ages in the car. I felt most of his body, apart from down there, and he is built amazingly. I was like, oh my fucking God. I mean, for someone quite small, he is really fit."

Taz was smiling and nodding. "You really gave me a gay image then. I processed Leander's wonderful body in my head. Yeah, he was naked. I can't take that back now. But you know what, Luke. I'm over it. It came in and went out."

Taz was such a funny guy sometimes. Not all the time, but when he said this sort of stuff, it was so him. Some nights he had me crying with laughter. The amount of coke that has gone down the wrong hole when he's said something funny while I am mid-way through swallowing.

"Hey, one strange thing happened, though," I said, pulling myself up beside him on the bed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, a drink arrived for me. At my table. A bottle of Becks lager. Just out of nowhere, the waitress brought it over and said someone at the bar had paid for it and left."

"Really? And Leander?"

"Nope, he didn't get one. Just me."

"And the person who paid for it?" Taz followed up.

"Walked out, never to be seen again. I asked, of course. I mean the staff, if anyone recognised him."

"That's crazy."

"Yeah, it is. Lee thinks it must have been a mistake."

"Lee?" Taz asked, raising a brow.

"You know, Leander. His name is not right on the tongue. I prefer Bear, but that's his private name. So I'm not supposed to share it. But Lee, I can do."

"Bear?"

"Long story, Taz. Anyway, what's going on with you. What did your Mum and Dad have to say?"

"Ooh. They've decided to divorce. Yeah, I forgot to tell you." Taz replied, almost non-caring.

"WHAT?!" I shouted. "Are you joking? Come on?"

"Wanna talk about you and Leander again?" Taz put a finger up to his eye.

"Taz, what's happened? Are you okay?" Taz's body began to jolt as he began to sob quietly. I turned to my side and put my arms around him, and his crying became more prevalent. "Ooh, man, I am so sorry. You weren't joking, were you? Jesus, I thought they were fine."

Taz sat up and wiped his eyes. "It's what we thought. It's always been what we thought. I think money was a cover story for me, but now I'm eighteen, they decided to call it a day as I don't need them in the same way I did as a child. I can make my own choices now, they said."

"When you mean, it's what we thought. Do you mean he's finally admitted it?"

"He told Mum two weeks ago, apparently. She said she'd been trying to process it without it blowing up into anything. They seem quite chilled out about it all."

"Are you okay, though?"

"Not really. I can't imagine my parents not together. They have always been together."

"And your Mum?"

"I think she was devastated at first. I mean, it's bad enough that people want to end their marriage, but when you've got your husband telling you he likes his Dinkle Doris Day serviced by men in his spare time? Well, it ain't fun reading, is it?"

"And now?" I asked, trying not to let a giggle escape my mouth because of Taz's description of his father's phallus. I held it well.

"And now? Well, she looks okay. Seems in control. Dad is a little sheepish, but they are talking like adults, and I think Mum has gone a long way to accepting this is real. He's gay. That's it."

"And is he leaving your house?"

"Mum said he can stay as long as he likes, but he must be actively looking for another place to live. I think he wants that too."

"Do you think he's cheated on her with another guy?" I asked. It was not a clever thing to ask at this time. But I only realised that after I had said it. Taz didn't seem to mind by the look on his face.

"He'll never admit that even if he did. He's quite a gutless creature."

I sighed and stroked Taz's leg. "Don; be too hard on him. He's probably been fighting this for years."

"And hurting my Mum."

"Hey, now stop that. Like me, you have to have absolutely no doubt that he loves your Mum and still does and always has, right? They have some good memories. Some, I'm even included in. So this thought that he somehow did this to inflict pain on her? Well, it's not true."

"But how can he change and be into men. I thought you were born the way you are, surely."

I sat up and got a little more comfortable. "Look, no one has yet explained bisexuality to me in a way that I can understand. So I've read that many bisexual men are just gay but don't quite dare to come out. I think some Bi announcements are a testing area to see the reaction of people they tell. I happen to think your Dad is not bisexual. I think he was always gay but did what any good Son should: get married, buy a house and have a kid. It was kinda like, 'by all means, be gay, but do those things'. That's how I learned it was done back then?"

"Bloody hell, I can't believe you are counselling me! This feels so wrong," Taz said before laying back down again. "Hey, I got an idea!"

"Oh God, what?"

"As your trusted friend, you gotta say yes before I reveal what it is."

"Okay, yes, fine. Let's hear it?" I demanded, waiting in ernest to see what he'd come up with.

_____________________________________

"Taz, no, really, I can't! I have work tomorrow."

Taz looked at me unimpressed. "Uh, duh? So do I! Look, I need to drown my sorrows, and you need to celebrate you didn't fuck up your first date."

"Fine, but we stop at midnight."

"Scouts honour!"

"So whadda we got to do."

"Here, take these scissors and stab the bottom of the can."

"But if I do, that lager will go all over me."

"No, look, I'll show you. Okay, so you get the can near your mouth and stab the bottom of it. Then, you quickly place the hole in your mouth and suck out the contents."

"The reason being?"

"I dunno. I just watched it on Youtube, and they said you could get merry on one can due to the extra oxygen being released. Or was it going in? Or maybe that ain't even true."

"Okay, then let's do this!" I demanded, feeling bullish all of a sudden.

Taz turned this radio up on some dance music station. Okay... get ready to suck and swallow as much as possible!"

I looked at Taz and squinted my eyes at him. All while he was now on his back laughing. "I've had the most horrible image of swallowing cum. But, Arrrrggghhh don't; I'm gonna... Rrrruuupp... oh my God, I can't stop thinking... rrruuupp! Jesus. Oh my God, that was discusti... rrruuuppp!"

Taz was silent on the bed in tears while I was retching over that... Ooooh shit, never mind... Rrrruuupp!

"Oooh, don't, my stomach... man, my stomach muscles hurt."

"Fuck this," I said as I stabbed the can. It started spraying out its contents, and I plugged my mouth over it, sucking as hard as possible."

Taz stopped laughing and started to chant at me. "Drink, drink, drink. Keep going. almost there!"

I finished every drop and squeezed the can tight, crushing it in the middle to indicate I had smashed his idea like a pro.

"Your turn," I said, handing him the scissors.

______________________________

"Oh my God, I am soooo fucked,," I shouted, getting up from Taz's bed. "I need a pee, now."

"I'll go and find a few more cans," Taz slurred out, giggling.

"Aaaarrgghh, Taz, we've done five each. I am done, man. I can hardly see!"

Taz burst out laughing again, falling back on the bed. I continued off to the bathroom as quietly as I could. I didn't know where Taz's parents were as I hadn't thought to ask. His Mum was usually out gossiping with Lee's Mum, and I suddenly had a funny feeling that Taz's Dad was out with... well, someone.

In the bathroom, I peed like a racehorse, as the amount I had drunk was working its way through me quickly. I fell forward while standing at the toilet, putting my hand out and leaning against the wall.

"You okay in there," I heard Taz call.

"Yeah, princess, just a full bladder," I replied, getting the last drops out.

I pulled my shorts back up above my kit and went to the sink to wash my hands. My eyes were bloodshot, and my vision was a little blurred.

Stumbling back through the hallway and into Taz's bedroom, my body suddenly felt exhausted from the long day at Saunders, and because I had intoxicated myself to a level I think I have never done before.

"You staying here?" Taz asked, laying on his side, trying to focus on me... I think.

"Do you mind? I dunno if I can walk home."

"Sure, well, move out the way; let me make the bed. It's a mess."

Taz clumsily threw all the empty cans off his bed and over the floor. I moved out of the waywhile he picked up the duvet and flapped it several times before dropping it back down neatly on the mattress. He then chucked a pillow on either side and started to get undressed.

I turned out the light, making it pretty dark; but there was a full moon available, giving us a little light to work with. I pulled my t-shirt off and shorts, deciding to leave my sports socks on.

"Man, I am so dead tomorrow morning; I just know it."

"You want a pint of water?"

"I can't be arsed, and I'll only throw up. I always do if I drink loads of water.

Now undressed, Taz fell onto the bed in his boxers and pulled the covers up to his neck. I went over to the other side, stumbling, and fell on to the side I had.

"You okay?" He asked as I mirrored his actions with the duvet.

"Just about," I replied, turning on my side, the room spinning. Luckily I could cope with it and didn't feel sick."

"Hey?" Taz slurred.

"Yeah?"

"Turn over," he said in a throaty voice.

"I did as he asked, expecting he was going to start some conversation, but instead, he kissed me on the lips. I didn't pull back, which surprised me. Perhaps it was because I was too drunk. Or maybe I just wanted to go with it. But either way, I had to ask.

"What was that for?"

"I wanted to see what it was like." He said, with a stupid grin now on his face. "And because I love ya!"

"See what was like?" I equally found myself slurring involuntarily. "To kiss a boy?"

"Yeah, Is that okay?"

"Bit late to ask now you've done it," I retorted.

We both laughed, facing each other, each reeking of booze, both of us not bothering to clean our teeth. Then out of the blue, Taz hit me with another kiss, this time trying to put his tongue in my mouth.

"ooooh no, no no no... Taz, you're drunk... we're both drunk. Let's not do this, man."

"I'm feeling emotional tonight. I just wanted some affection," he said, his eyes looking kinda wet all of a sudden.

"This ain't right; we'll both regret it, just get some sleep."

"Mind if we spoon?"

"Sure, if you want." I turned over, back onto my side, facing away from Taz. He shifted towards me and placed his arm over my chest, pushing his midsection close to me. I didn't know what had gotten into him, but we both knew this was about as far as anything could go.

At least I did!

I knew in my mind that this was purely a drinking after-effect and that this would not be happening in normal circumstances.

"Good night, my bestest friend ever," Taz slurred out from behind my neck, his lips almost touching it. A waft of lager smell came over me, making me giggle a little because we were so out of it.

"Good night, my more bestest friend in the whole wide world and galaxy.

That must have been it; I was out of it. Until five a.m. when my phone went off. It was Leander.

Oh my fucking God!