Jump to content
  • Join For Free and Get Notified of New Chapters!

    Are you enjoying a great story and want to get an alert or email when a new chapter is posted? Join now for free and follow your favorite stories and authors!  You can even choose to get daily or weekly digest emails instead of getting flooded with an email for each story you follow. 

     

Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.

Luke Hanson's Mind & Punishment: A Teen in Despair - 23. Chapter 23 - Starting Some Resolutions

Thursday 5:08pm - Luke


 

ONE WEEK LATER....

One week on. One week and one day - that's how long it had been since I left Leander and his Brother Clyde deal with Ben Flowers, my stalker and had driven off home. I'd not heard anything, so I assumed it had been sorted. Yes okay, I was checking the local newspaper Derek read at work for any major headlines about bodies being found in woodland and stuff related. But really I knew deep down Leander would not let his family really kill someone... like actually for real. The physical state Ben might have left in is another matter, but as I was told... don't ask, don't look and don't think about it. The latter was easier said than done as I've just explained.

The thing is, Leander was consuming me hour by hour though, and although my brain had given me the pleasure of not having to deal so much with the anxiety through this past week, I was becoming more upset with how Leander and I just fizzled out. I wanted him so bad. 

As usual I questioned my deserving of him. My mind was telling me that everything in my life usually goes wrong so Leander staying with me was just another example of Luke Hanson's Mind and Punishment. I really was in despair sometimes and wondered how many more years I would endure that feeling of complete and utter hopelessness. It sucked you dry I can tell you that.

Don't be filthy!

 

_____________________

 

"Right, Derek, everything is done; I'm off," I said, smiling.

"Hey, Luke? Before you go? I've been debating whether or not to get involved, but your Dad has called me several times this week asking about you. He's saying you're ignoring his calls, is that right?"

I sighed. "I'm not ready to see him, Derek. I've got too much in my head going on at the moment. I'm not ready to deal with him and Morticia Addams on top."

"Want my advice, Son?"

"Well, it's normally good, so go on then."

"This stuff? In your head? Perhaps it could be better dealt with, with your Dad's support. I'd say patching up your relationship with him might benefit you and help with the rest of your problems."

I winked at Derek to say thanks. "I'll bear that in mind. See ya later, Derek. I'll grab iced coffee for the morning. Oh, by the way, how is Lee. I haven't heard from him in ages."

Derek Laughed. "Nor have I," he replied. "He's in love, Luke. what do you expect?"

"Tell him to call me, yeah? And tell him if I get one more missed call, I am disowning him," I said with a grin.

"I'll be sure to do that."

I walked out of Saunders and around the side to collect my car, which had been sitting in the heat all day. I opened the driverside door, turned on the ignition and let down all the windows.
As I leaned against the bonnet to wait for the heat to dissipate, my phone dings.

I grab it from my pocket.

[17:12] Leander: Can I see you?
[17:13] Me: I keep telling you, no. 
[17:13] Leander: Luke the fair leaves in 4 days. Can we at least say goodbye?
[17:14] Me: I know when the fair leaves, there's been nothing else on my mind but why cause more pain? It's you who decided to end us. 
[17:15] Leander: Please!

I stood there looking at the last message. Please? Please, for what? What more could be said. Why would I put myself through the pain of hearing his voice again... seeing his beautiful face again. For what, to say goodbye again. For me to humiliate myself again? Beg again? No! I needed to put myself first. 

But haven't you done that all along? My stupid brain thought as I got in my car. But have I?

______________________________

I pulled into Taz's driveway and switched off the engine. I saw Edith walking towards her house with a loaded shopping bag. She glanced over and stopped.

"Moved in, have you?" she asked. "Bloody gays!"

"Hello Edith, what have I done now?" I asked. "Nice to see you in person. Usually, you are spying on me from behind those nets," I said, chuckling—more to myself. 

Stupid old bag!

"That place is haunted, you know. I'd get out now!"

"What, like the Amityville? Edith, have you stopped taking your medication?

She started to cross the road, walking directly towards me. She was a creepy old woman who made you feel you should run away from her. But this was interesting. So I stood where I was, waiting, just as Taz came out.

"Hi, Edith," Taz said with a smile.

"Put a shirt on, Taz, young man. What is it with you men walking around with no clothes on in the street? In my day, that would have been arrestable."

"THE WAR IS OVER," Taz shouted sarcastically as if she was deaf.

"That house," she pointed. "That house is evil. You don't want to know what I see at that window in the small hours."

I rolled my eyes before turning to look at Taz. I think just by the look we gave each other, we both felt Edith was starting to lose her mind.

"What is it at the window then? Did you film it?"

"Don't judge me, young Taz; I knew what I saw. It's a face."

"A face?" I asked. "What sort of face? and who's?"

"It's just a face that looks wrong," Edith said quietly. "Comes late, around two in the morning, looks misty white. But, as I say, that house is evil. So do with that information what you will." With that, she turned away and walked across the road again towards her front gate. "Oh," she added, turning around once more. "Stop kicking that football over my wall. Don't think I don't see you both!"

"Okay, Edith, we're sorry," Taz called back to her.

"Taz?"

"I know, Luke."

"We haven't kicked that ball around since we were sixteen??!!"

"I just said... I know!"

"I feel sorry for her now. All alone in that house and slowly succumbing to dementia. It's sad, Taz. And we still make fun of her."

"Come on. Mum wants a word with you."

"Really? What have I done?"

"She wants to tell you. I'm not allowed."

I tutted. "What are we, kids or men?!"

____________________________________


I sat patiently in the kitchen for Sharon to get off her cell phone. She was in the next room, and I could hear muffled talking, but that was about it. It got louder and softer the more she moved around the room. I had to smile she did that... moved round i mean, because I was the same. If I was on the phone with a stranger, like a Doctor or a customer at work, I had to wander around the room. Give me someone I know? Well, I can lay, sit, and stand. But not move. Why am I telling you all this?

Oh yeah, I'm bored of waiting for Sharon!

After a clock counting eight minutes, she came out of the lounge and into the kitchen.

"Right, Luke. This spectacle with your Dad stops today. You are seeing him tonight. He's coming here at six. So you two are going to sit down and have this out."

The look of shock on my face right now was immense. Why is my life being lived for me? I thought, staring at Sharon.

"What the fuc..."

"Luke, baby, don't launch your BS at me. I've known you too long," she said sweetly. "Just man up and see your bloody Dad, okay?"

She then walked outside into the garden and started taking down the washing that had now dried to the touch in the hot early evening sun.

I Looked back at Taz, who was chuckling. 

"Can you believe that?" I asked, throwing my hands up in the air.

"You were about to mess with her, weren't you? You were about to see if it could be done, and she killed you stone dead like a Medusa. It looks like you're seeing your Dad then."

I grunted, went to the fridge and pulled out two cokes. "Gym is killing my legs," I announced, sitting down on a dining room chair and rubbing the back of them—my legs, not the chair.

"You really went for it on Saturday. I thought you were going to pass out at some points."

"'Yeah, well, trying to work the stress of the 'Leander situation' out of my head seemed like a good thing to do at the time."

"You seeing him?"

I raised my hand at Taz, swallowing a gulp of Coke. "Don't! Just don't, Taz. If one more person suggests who I should and shouldn't talk to, I might go insane."

"Erm, okay, but... but the fair does leave in a few days, and I just think that..."

"Don't think, Taz. I'm not interested in what he says anyways," I lied. 

Of course, I was interested; who was I kidding? Leander was all I thought about... day after day. I wondered what he was doing, what he was thinking and who he was thinking about. I'd been to the fair on Thursday night just to be near him. I kept out of sight but watched him from a distance operating a ride, seemingly unfazed by our breakup. But what did I expect? Did I expect him to wallow in a corner somewhere? Expect him to tell Clyde he was too heartbroken to work? What sort of face should be permanently worn by him while being upset about us. Life goes on, Luke. Life doesn't stop for your cry-baby antics and selfish feelings. It's not all about you!

Shut up, brain!

______________________________

I heard the distinctive sound of Dad's work van pulling up outside. I knew it was him because the van had a unique whining sound when it came to a stop. Dad says it's something to do with the gearbox. But it's great because if you're in the middle of having a wank, you can quickly stop before he walks through the door. Hey, a guy has needs, right?

Facing the music, I went downstairs into the lounge, letting Taz get the door. I sat in one of Taz's parents' large comfy brown chairs and crossed my legs like an interviewer might. Only, I didn't have a pen to rest in my mouth.

Dad walked in and stopped at the doorway. We looked into each other eyes. I held a mildly irritated expression while his face said he came in peace. I softened on seeing it.

"Hi, Son, you look well."

"It's only been just over a week, Dad."

"Uh, yeah, I guess it has. And how are you?"

"Living the dream Dad. I'm homeless, thanks to yours truly. Erm, what's next? Oh yeah, my new Boyfriend dumped me faster than a Britney Spears divorce, and erm... I almost got stabbed to death in the middle of nowhere. So yeah, I'm having a great time right now. In fact, the only thing about me which has been playing ball has been my anxiety levels. I don't think I have ever felt clearer about how I feel."

"Which is? And what do you mean you almost got stabbed to death, oh my gosh!"

It's not important, Dad. The guy holding a knife at me, my feelings... none of it is important. Being homeless is."

"I didn't know what else to do with you."

I got up and stepped forward, snarling. "You abandoned me! You abandoned me for that toothless, know it all Bitch, and I'm out on the street."

"Luke, don't be such a Diva, it is not becoming of you. You're not homeless. I knew Sharon and Mark would be okay with you staying here. Anyway, you were like a rabid animal that day I asked you to leave. As much as I hate seeing you in that state, you needed to take responsibility for your actions and..."

"So you basically took her side?"

"...And, if you let me finish... you need to know that there are consequences when you act like that. Luke, you're eighteen. The time for tantrums and fits left you fifteen years ago. I'm sorry you don't like Elaine. I truly am, but I'm here today because I want to make amends and put this debacle to bed. But I'm also here to let you know that Elaine is my partner. I deserve to be happy just as much as you do."

"Is she moving in?" I asked distrustfully.

"We're talking about it."

"She wants to, though, right? I mean, this is all her, right? I mean, it's you that's wrestling with her request?"

Dad shook his head. "Son, you're doing it again?"

I put my head down. "I'm sorry, it's just... There is so much of Mum in that house, and I feel... I feel..."

"You feel like she will come and erase it all?"

I looked up. "Exactly. And she will. She'll move in, and all Mum's photos will be taken down, and she'll wanna change the furniture, and God knows what she will have in its place. Probably a fucking gramophone, wall sized picture of her gormless Son and piano." I messed my hair up with my hands thinking about it.

Dad levelled his hands out at me as if telling me to calm down. "You're overthinking things again and coming up with a version of life that does not exist." Dad moved towards me and knelt by my chair. "There is one more reason why I'm here, Son."

I sat back and creased my head. "Which is?"

"I want you to see a therapist. Look, I haven't gone behind your back or anything, but I went to see your Doctor in the week to get some advice. I told him you'd been having some... well, some issues with anger and stuff. So he suggested I help you set up a meeting with Calvin."

I shook my head. "Nope, not Calvin. Absolutely not. I don't give a shit you did this, Dad, and I'm even open to the idea of seeing a therapist but not Calvin. He rinses me out; I can't deal with him. That hour we did, back then? I can't, Dad. I can't!"

"Luke, he's highly rated, and I am willing to pay for your sessions."

"That guy left me crying for two days."

"I think that was the idea, Luke; you got so much out in one hour that I think you ever got out in your whole life. But, look, I'll do you a deal, yes? You see, Calvin, and I will tell Elaine that moving in just yet will not be an option as you and I are trying to get you on an even keel again."

"So I can come home?" I asked, my eyes probably brighter.

Dad nodded. "You can come home, yes. But, you will need to get used to seeing Elaine at the house. Perhaps not living there, but there for periods."

"She stays out of my room?"

"I've already said that to her. She has not been in your room. No one has."

"Thanks," I said, unconvinced.

"So, you gonna give your old man and hug, or what?"

I leaned forward and put my arms around my father, and we both squeezed. "I'm sorry I was such a dick, Dad," I said, muffled, with my mouth on his shoulder.

"And I'm sorry I took such drastic measures with you. Whether I got that right or not will be down to the Gods, but I had to balance out my love for you and my new relationship and get you to a safe space in your head. And at home? Well, that was not the place you needed to be at the time."

"I understand, Dad; I can be a selfish Prick sometimes."

Dad shrugged. "Meh, most eighteen-year-old men are selfish pricks. I still love you!"

Copyright © 2022 James Matthews; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 18
  • Love 14
  • Wow 1
  • Fingers Crossed 2
  • Sad 2
  • Angry 1

Trying a different style and a couple of new things in this book and my only benchmark on how that is going is you, my loyal readers. So I have a small favour. Please do click a like if you're enjoying the story and please do recommend the book. If you have a thought or comment I'd be made up to hear what you think. All feedback is relished and of course I do love hearing your ideas, opinions and banter. Many thanks, folks! Now, let go forth on to the next chapter :) 

Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

I agree with @Etotsira. Luke needs to protect himself from himself, and if in doing so this makes him selfish, so be it. He invested a lot of his future happiness in a relationship with someone he barely knew, but it has happened, and he has to deal with it the best way he can. He is very self-aware, his internal conversations with himself and his acknowledgement to his father of his shortcomings, evidence thereof. I also observed a strong streak of perfectionism in Luke in this chapter, a characteristic which will only exacerbate his anxiety as he cannot possibly live up to his high expectations of himself (this is something I am all too familiar with). 

I don’t dislike Leander, I feel some sympathy for him as he is a product of his upbringing, however, he had the opportunity to have a relationship with Luke and decided he was not strong enough to overcome his family’s limited view of the world (I am trying to be kind and have refrained from saying what I really think about those fuckers). 

Len’s speculation Luke feared Elaine erasing all memories of his mother from the family home blindsided me. I had given much thought to why he was so vehemently opposed to her (apart from her obvious presumptuousness and insensitivity), and these fears did not even register on my radar. I think Len’s speculation and Luke’s acknowledgement of its accuracy, are testament to the close and nurturing father-son relationship they have. Much like Luke, Len has invested a lot in his relationship with Elaine, a woman he has apparently only known for a very short period of time too. I would be interested to learn of her personal financial circumstances. Does she own her own home, does she rent or live in a council flat? Not knowing the answer to any of these questions, I am very suspicious her motives may be financial as she has “made herself at home” rather quickly.

Now for the Edith puzzle. Is she suffering from some form of dementia? I don’t think she is necessarily an unlikeable person, she is perhaps just lonely. Luke’s expression of sympathy for her life and circumstances are indicative of his kind nature, much like his concern for the outcome of Ben’s “rendezvous” with Leander’s brothers.

Another well written, believable and intriguing chapter @James Matthews. I look forward to reading of any progress Luke can make in resolving his various dilemmas. He may be anxious, but his strong sense of self-awareness will I believe hold him in good stead to overcome it, or at least learn to manage it, which relatively speaking he is already doing.

Edited by Summerabbacat
  • Like 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment
9 hours ago, Summerabbacat said:

I agree with @Etotsira. Luke needs to protect himself from himself, and if in doing so this makes him selfish, so be it. He invested a lot of his future happiness in a relationship with someone he barely knew, but it has happened, and he has to deal with it the best way he can. He is very self-aware, his internal conversations with himself and his acknowledgement to his father of his shortcomings, evidence thereof. I also observed a strong streak of perfectionism in Luke in this chapter, a characteristic which will only exacerbate his anxiety as he cannot possibly live up to his high expectations of himself (this is something I am all too familiar with). 

I don’t dislike Leander, I feel some sympathy for him as he is a product of his upbringing, however, he had the opportunity to have a relationship with Luke and decided he was not strong enough to overcome his family’s limited view of the world (I am trying to be kind and have refrained from saying what I really think about those fuckers). 

Len’s speculation Luke feared Elaine erasing all memories of his mother from the family home blindsided me. I had given much thought to why he was so vehemently opposed to her (apart from her obvious presumptuousness and insensitivity), and these fears did not even register on my radar. I think Len’s speculation and Luke’s acknowledgement of its accuracy, are testament to the close and nurturing father-son relationship they have. Much like Luke, Len has invested a lot in his relationship with Elaine, a woman he has apparently only known for a very short period of time too. I would be interested to learn of her personal financial circumstances. Does she own her own home, does she rent or live in a council flat? Not knowing the answer to any of these questions, I am very suspicious her motives may be financial as she has “made herself at home” rather quickly.

Now for the Edith puzzle. Is she suffering from some form of dementia? I don’t think she is necessarily an unlikeable person, she is perhaps just lonely. Luke’s expression of sympathy for her life and circumstances are indicative of his kind nature, much like his concern for the outcome of Ben’s “rendezvous” with Leander’s brothers.

Another well written, believable and intriguing chapter @James Matthews. I look forward to reading of any progress Luke can make in resolving his various dilemmas. He may be anxious, but his strong sense of self-awareness will I believe hold him in good stead to overcome it, or at least learn to manage it, which relatively speaking he is already doing.

Wow, many opinions here and a lot to digest, you really took thi chapter apart. I loved reading what you thought. 

 

Thanks for you kind comments and for the encouragement. I'm so glad these characters are creating such great conversations. Plus I love how you have read each one an given an accurate description of their minds. This is almost ;like therapy for me! :D

James x

  • Love 3
Link to comment
6 hours ago, drsawzall said:

I think that @Summerabbacat for the most part has the gist of it, there are however several glaring inconsistencies that have yet to be dealt with.

For me and the most part this chapter was a major letdown. 

I understand Luke has mental health issues and needs to be in counseling and benefit from productive therapy.

I can easily understand his reluctance not to see Leander, I suspect despite his reluctance he will end up seeing Leander, tho I feel it will be Leander who takes that step to force a meeting, most likely at the most unexpected moment.

Is Edith having one of those moments of clarity, is she aware of something...Gasp...is it the malevolent spirit or ghost she see's at the window an avatar of Elaine's psychosis? 

While Len took the steps to have a heart to heart with Luke, thank you Sharon, Len has a blind spot of his own. As pointed out in the above comment, just what is Elaine's background, financial health, where is the father of her child, why isn't he around? What else is in  her past we should know about? I've said it before and will do so now...Elaine is a grifter...nuff said...

And then we've yet to honestly deal with the dynamic betwixt Elaine and Luke. If as it seems, the issues are Luke's to deal with, why isn't Elaine called to account for her confrontational manner towards Luke. Let's face it folks...she is as much at fault as anyone here...To think otherwise stuns me...

That everything now seems to be going assbackwards and spiraling downward to be a result of Luke's behavior is simply wrong, shortsighted, and bound to backfire...badly...Luke may be having his buttons/issues pushed, but let's take an honest look at just who is pushing those buttons...

Think of the midget as Elaine...

Batman Slapping Robin Meme Generator - Imgflip | Perry mason tv series ...

You make an excellent point about Elaine's financial situation and I am surprised other readers have taken so long to mention it. She could be a gold digging Bitch or a God fearing Christian. You just can't tell right now. 

As usual you find the BEST GiF's Doc! :D Love it!

  • Like 1
  • Love 4
Link to comment
8 hours ago, mansexlover said:

Am I the only one who feels sorry for Bear? He is in a very difficult situation with his family after coming out to them with the death of his father. I think we need to cut him some slack. Not an easy time for him.

Hey.... I feel sorry for Bear, I'm surprised more people don't. Next chapter might shed light on that. :D 

  • Love 4
Link to comment

I feel sympathy for Leander, but he has to decide who is in charge of his own life.  Right now, not him!  I have this chapter an angry emoji, due to Elaine getting away with murder (not literally, although we don't know what happened to her husband).  I'm mad at Len, for putting this bitch he just met ahead of his son.  Normally, I would just hope his character gets what he deserves, but that would also hurt Luke.  

  • Love 2
Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Newsletter

    You probably have a crazy and hectic schedule and find it hard to keep up with everything going on.  We get it, because we feel it too.  Signing up here is a great way to keep in touch and find something relaxing to read when you get a few moments to spare.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..