Clovers End - 21. Sympathy

James P.O.V

The silence is deafening. It offers no solace. I wonder why she intends to go about it this way. Why she felt she needed to go behind everyone’s back?

“I know you must not have the greatest opinion of me at the moment James but sometimes it's not easy to get things done according to the decorum. I assure you that this was not done with mal-intent. Firstly, I promise to explain myself fully but would you mind telling me how much you know?” The Elder questions her voice coming out just louder than a hoarse whisper.

I inhale deeply. “ When Aria approached me she told me about your plans to evacuate Alex and I to the Sister village should anything happen at the mating ritual like getting attacked by the Clovers.”

“Seriously.” Rachel sputters “ Why would you keep something like this from us?”

“Calm down child. It's not what you think. It's been almost 20 years since we were last confronted by the Clovers. We struggled to beat them then. There is no guarantee we could now. We have no idea what kinds of weapons or tools they have developed that could give them an advantage this time around”

“So you're sacrificing the village just to give Alex and I a chance to escape?” I contest “ You know I would never let that happen. As the head alpha, I could never turn my back on my people.”

“I have no intention of using our people as cannon fodder!” She yells with a burst of anger. She stands up in one swift motion. Both Rachel and I stare at her with a shocked expressions. I have never seen her act this way. She is normally the most calm and collected out of all of the elders.

“Sorry.” she says as she sighs. She finds a moment to compose herself and gradually sits back down again. She clears her throat and continues to talk. “ I know you wouldn't. We'll give them everything we've got but the reality is that we might not be able to fend them off. I want you to understand how important you and Alex are to the survival of our kind and those alike. If we lose the guardian and the descendant we lose our chance of survival and who knows what that would do to the hope of our people. While Alex being here is a controversial topic, some in the village have found the re-emergence of the descendant to be a good omen, others can't get past the fact he was born to a non-lupin father. Revealing information like this could really stir the crucible. I'd rather allow the pack to rest soundly while I make moves to try and protect our future from the shadows. In fact, I'm currently making preparations to have the children evacuated when the time comes too. This is why I had to keep it a secret from the two of you, the other elders and especially the pack. They would not agree to this, considering their doubts about Alex but I believe he will be the harbinger of great change. I can feel it in my heart and by Kitaaih's grace, I won't be wrong.”

“ Isn't that a lot of responsibility for any one person to shoulder alone?” I ask tentatively.

“I'll be fine but Alex needs you. I can't have you be reckless and risk both his and your lives unnecessarily. I know this is a lot to internalise so I'll bring this conversation to an end for now. Get something to eat and get some rest.” She undoes the rune and heads back to the house, leaving Rachel and I to ourselves. The silence between is loud and yet the was a shared frustration congealed in the space that could be cut with a knife.

“It's not fair.” Rachel asserts. I turn to look at her. Her fists clenched so tightly that her nails began to draw blood. She tries to hide her pained expression. “ Is this what Diana had to go through too? Being born only to be burdened with expectations that do not seem possible to fulfil? I can't imagine how poor Alex would react when he finds out. At least Diana knew what was expected of her when she was chosen. Even so, she still ran away from her calling and had a kid with Alatar. I think I understand now. She just wanted to live a normal, happy life”

“ I guess that's what anyone hopes for.” I state, pulling her into a comforting embrace.

“Hey, James?” she asks as she hides her face in my chest. My shirt getting damp with tears.

“Yeah?” I whisper, stroking her head.

“I don't think I've ever told you this but I regret not being involved enough with my sister. Lately, I've been thinking back and I genuinely want to beat my younger self for being so self-involved and jealous of her. I remember the three of us used to be really close when we were younger. I can't think of a time we weren’t happy or laughing. What happened?”

“We grew up. We had to become the people we were expected to be.”

“Do you think,” she sniffs “ Diana was happy with her life before she passed away?”

“Personally I'd like to think that she did but who's to say? She had a chance to start a family with someone she loved and she had a great kid like Alex. I think to some extent she lived how she wanted and that sounds like a pretty good life to me.”