Clovers End - 22. Blossom

Thank you for reading  and as always this is a work in progress so I hope you can bear with me while we both engage in the story's growth and development😄.  I hope you have a great day/night.
Love 
Wolf ❤️
P.S: Apologies for the staggered updates. My life is pretty hectic at the moment but I will try to get chapters out when I can  . 

James P.O.V

“You're welcome to go back to the house without me,” I murmur.

“You sure?” Rachel chimes at the door.

“Yeah. I kind of want to be by my lonesome for a bit if that's alright.”

“Of course” she asserts,” Don't stay out too late.”

“I won't”, I say with the most convincing smile I can muster. Sensing my unease, she gives my shoulder a squeeze before heading out. As the door closes behind her, my smile dissipates. I try my best but I struggle to keep in a whimper as warm tears trickle down my face. Fucks sake. I hate this. I hate being so weak. As time went by I thought I'd be able to face everything again but I can't. At times it feels like too much too soon. Ever since Alex arrived, my emotions have been haywire. He reminds me so much of her but I know they aren't the same. A small part of me wants to resent him but I can't. None of this was his fault. He's just an innocent casualty of Diana's actions. That's right. If she wasn't so self-centred then none of this would have been happening. Even then I can't be mad at her. She just wanted to love and be loved of her own volition. I can't hate the elders either. It feels selfish to drag Alex into this but they're doing it for the betterment of the community. However, I sometimes wonder if putting community before yourself is a good thing.

To a degree, I think he understands but I wonder how he feels about the situation and me. I love him but we've never even really formed a proper bond. I wonder if it works both ways, but how could it? If a descendant-guardian bond was reciprocal, I doubt Diana would've left the way she did. That does beg the questions, are my thoughts and feelings really my own? Do I actually love him for him or because it's ingrained in me like a cursed seed that blossoms at the mere thought of him? I wonder how the community would react if they knew what I was thinking and could see what it is really like behind closed doors. Would I be labelled a defector? Ostracised and looked down upon if I had to take action against tradition like Diana? Would it even be easy to do such because of the way I'm bound by the mate bond?

Ridiculous... Ludicrous, Sacrilegious of me to even dare think any of this but still, I'm not a sheep, I am an individual. Nevertheless, if we don't go through with it or if we do go through with the ritual it's still undeniable that it's a damned if we do, damned if we don't situation. The clovers will stop at nothing to eradicate our people, the ritual just gives us a bit more of a fighting chance. The word 'more' being debatable in this predicament. The ritual does not guarantee results and even if it awakens latent abilities, it's not like he'll be able to control or use them immediately.

Alex P.O.V

I wonder what they were discussing. The atmosphere suddenly became sombre and heavy. It was as if the air itself was holding its breath. I said nothing when Rachel and Nephritis returned without James. We sat quietly and ate. The only words passed were of them excusing themselves from the table. Feeling concerned, I figured I might stay up and wait till James returns. By that time he did, it was well into the depths of night. The howling of the wind outside had died down and not a soul stirred. I sat with a blanket staring into the dying embers of the fire in the living room. The flames frivolously danced before they too went out. At that point, I figured he wasn't coming home so I decided to head to bed when the front door clicked open. There stood a very disgruntled-looking James. His face was pale and the veins in his eyes were pronounced. It seemed as if he had been crying. When his eyes met mine, he seemed a bit surprised.

“You're still awake?” he asks.

“Yep,” I announced.

“Why? Were you waiting up for me?”

“Perhaps.”

“Oh,” he murmured as a tinge of pink rose to his cheeks.

He looked like he needed a hug so I leaned in and wrapped my arms around him, giving him the warmest embrace I could. “I don't know what’s going on nor is it my place to pry but I can tell that everyone’s been acting different so I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” I say. He seemed startled but doesn't make any attempt to move. After a while, he tentatively wraps his arms around me too. He sniffles and I can feel the wetness of what I presume are tears against my shoulder.

“Shhh. It's okay.” I whisper as I gently comb my fingers through his hair.

“Sorry, I'm not usually like this.” he whimpers, trailing off,” I'm not usually weak”

“ I don't think it's weak to let yourself feel your emotions. Besides, I'm sure whatever you're worried about will turn out fine in the end.”

“ I hope so,” he whispers.

”I have no doubt. Plus you've got the elder, Rachel and I to support you along the way.” He half smiles. I'm not sure if it gives him any reassurance. However, this was the first time I think I've seen him smile since we met. I can't help but smile back and for a moment, I feel warmth in my chest and a sense of ease wash over me. In a weird way, it kinda looks good on him. In fact, I'm not sure why I haven't noticed it before but he's kind of dashing in a strange sort of way. I rather not openly admit it so I look away and try to play it cool. Unfortunately, this must have drawn more attention.

“Are you okay?” he asks lifting a hand to my forehead which I smack away the minute it touches my skin “You're kind of warm”.

“I'm fine, I stammer.” grabbing a wash rag and thrusting it into his hands” Why don't you wash up while I warm up dinner? I'm sure you're hungry" I stare at the floor, still a bit too stunned to look his way.

“Starved.” He groans, walking past me to the washroom. The door clicks shut and I sigh heavily, trying to collect myself as I steal myself away to the kitchen to prepare him a meal.