40 Souls to Keep - 11. Chapter 11

Hot and thirsty after the walk back to the condo, Lucas made for the kitchen, bending his head to drink right from the tap. By some miracle, they’d avoided seeing any of the neighbors yet. Or maybe not so amazing at all; maybe there were none.

He dipped his head under the spigot after drinking his fill, drenching his head and hair, then mopped himself off with a tea towel. Only then did he wonder why nobody had come to meet him.

“Hello?” he called, and Jase answered from the kids’ bedroom.

“In here, Lucas.”

Lucas backtracked to the front door and turned right into the small bedroom that was tucked in next to the laundry area. Two girls had lived here before, younger than Macy, but not by much. Their toys appealed to her, at any rate.

She wasn’t playing, but crying in Jase’s arms. Lucas tossed the towel behind him in the direction of the washer and dryer. “What happened?”

“Another nightmare,” Jase said, but the innocuous words didn’t match his drawn features.

“Same as before?” Moving slowly, he came to sit on the bed beside them, pushing aside a small army of Polly Pockets to do so. Macy’s hair, so neatly groomed that morning, was once more a tangled mess around her puffy, tear-streaked face.

“Sort of,” she answered, her voice a soft mewl.

Lucas met Jase’s eyes. Somebody was lying, and he doubted it was Macy.

“You got this?” he asked Jase, easing away.

“I think she’ll go back to sleep,” he said, ducking to inspect her face. “Crazy. She just got up a few hours ago. She said she was going to play. I hadn’t even realized until she started screaming that she’d fallen asleep.”

Post-traumatic stress with a sprinkling of depression and a side of grief. Lucas would be sleeping too if he were her. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” Because they had some talking to do, and not all of it was about lucky-to-have-him Detective Swift.

Matlock reruns proved a decent distraction until Jase reappeared. He stared at where Lucas was sitting on the couch, hands folded behind his head, remote between his legs. “She fell back asleep. I left the door closed so we don’t disturb her.”

That could mean a host of things, not the least of which involved fewer pieces of clothing. Tempting, but not until Jase came clean about the nightmare. “What really happened in there?”

To his credit, Jase didn’t circle the question. “It was the same dream as last night, to a certain extent. Today, she remembered more details. They—” He swiped a hand over his lips. “They were unsettling.”

If something unsettled Jase, then Lucas would probably need a straitjacket and a syringe of happy juice. He didn’t begrudge that the guy was hard to rattle, but it had the embarrassing side effect of making him look the coward. He braced himself. “Okay, shoot. I assume it’s nothing good.”

“I don’t know what the hell it is.” Jase joined him on the sofa, muting Matlock. “Today she dreamed of alligators again, but I don’t think that’s the part that scared her the most.”

“Alien alligators?” Lucas ventured.

Jase rewarded his effort with a half-smile, but it only lasted a moment. “She said the world was out of hope, and that happiness was—this is exactly what she said—that happiness was being ground under the boots of our greed.”

Lucas whistled. “Macy’s a poet.”

“You don’t find that unnerving?”

It was hardly news. Greed made the world go ’round. Lucas thought Jase would be the first to jump on that bandwagon. “Yeah, I guess. It sounds like something she heard on TV.”

Jase shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. It felt more like...a prophecy.”

Lucas didn’t even try to temper his disbelief. “A prophecy? Really, Obi-Wan?”

“It’s not a joke.”

The hell it wasn’t. Lucas snapped his fingers. “Maybe Macy’s the one who will bring balance to the Force.”

A flash of anger darkened Jase’s eyes, which, strangely, Lucas found satisfying. About time. What did it take to get him riled up, anyway?

“After everything, I was hoping for a little less skepticism from you, Lucas.”

Damn, he was going to lose this battle before it even started. What man could stand firm in the face of such regal emotional angst? Backpedaling, Lucas said, “Sorry. Can you just try to see things from my point of view here?”

Shockingly, Jase backed off as well. Less than two feet separated their bodies. Emotionally, an ocean flowed between them. Lucas cursed himself for wanting to narrow the gap. “I really am sorry. The conversation with Swift freaked me out. And I burned the shit out of myself.” He held up his throbbing hand.

Jase’s demeanor morphed from insulted lover to concerned doctor in two heartbeats. Muttering under his breath, he took off for the kitchen. It wasn’t so far away that his movements were a mystery. Lucas heard the tinkling of ice cubes falling into a bag, and then Jase was back, pressing a towel-wrapped ice pack to the pink skin. “You don’t mess around with burns, Lucas.”

“I know that,” he retorted, feeling like a five-year-old who’d been caught poking a hornet’s nest. “I’m dating an EMT. He’s full of fun medical facts.”

He’d said it to get a rise out of Jase, but the reaction disappointed on every level.

“You should call him,” Jase said, holding the ice pack steady. “Let him know you’re okay.”

That’s not your line, Lucas almost snapped, but they’d abandoned the script the moment they’d laid eyes on each other. Nothing was for sure. Even Jase’s magical future rescue of little Macy. “Have you ever—” Lucas rolled the awkward question around his mouth a few times, but failed to make it less contentious. “Have you ever failed? Not saved a person you were meant to?”

Jase arched a brow. He shifted the ice pack to the back of Lucas’s wrist. “No.”

“What would happen, you think, if you did?”

“The world would end?” Jase laughed under his breath. “I have no idea. I’ve always helped when I was supposed to.”

Just shy of arrogant, that tone, which set Lucas’s stomach fluttering, and not in a good way. He found it hard to swallow that Jase had never considered failure, even with his impressive string of successes. “You’re more certain of yourself now than when you met Philip.”

Jase inspected Lucas’s hand. “I was a different person then.” The ice pack returned, numbing the discomfort. Lucas closed his eyes when Jase’s fingers began to trace his palm.

“You were an angrier person then,” Lucas said, regretting the words when the soft touches stopped. When Jase didn’t answer, Lucas opened his eyes to find Jase staring into space.

“Yeah, I guess I was,” he admitted.

Surely that couldn’t be a surprise. Time changed people, saviors and sanitation workers alike. Funny that Jase didn’t see it.

Jase cleared his throat, breaking the spell. “So what did Swift say?”

Next on the menu, classic redirection. Lucas let it go—Jase’s fingers were moving again, stroking over his skin, and that seemed more important at the moment. “He said to stay put and keep our heads down.”

Jase moved the ice pack restlessly, jaw clenched. Yeah, he liked that idea about as much as Lucas had. “He’s working on it, he said. But the media is going to catch wind of things soon, and he obviously thinks she’s going to be in even more danger then.” His voice dropped at the end.

Neither of them liked it, but what choice did they have?

* * *

An unseasonably warm day, the news said. Perfect. Lucas peeked through a shutter slat in the living room and nearly came up blind for his trouble. Most developers tried to orient the best views to a southern exposure, so that the setting sun didn’t radiate directly through the windows and bake whoever was unfortunate enough to be inside. Not so here. You got what you paid for.

The small screened lanai did have a nice view of the golf course, complete with water trap. He bet that was what the brochure had said. The truth—mosquito breeding ground—didn’t sell houses.

Jase cooked up a simple dinner of spaghetti, which Macy ate. Lucas had to admit his idea of baked chicken and broccoli wouldn’t have gone over as well. She never complained about staying cooped up inside. The only ones chafing at that were Jase and Lucas. Despite her late-morning nap, she asked to go to bed at eight o’clock.

Lucas smiled through his concern and tucked her into the big bed in the master bedroom. He still wasn’t comfortable having her too far away. “How are you feeling?”

“Sad,” she said straight off.

“That’s normal.”

“I know.”

“Are you scared?”

“Not really.”

Her denial sounded genuine, and she even smiled. It transformed her plain face, giving Lucas a hint of the stunning adult she’d become. If they kept her alive long enough.

“What about the nightmares? Do you want to talk about them?” What she really needed was a therapist trained to deal with trauma. Lucas knew some of the questions to ask, and a few of the better things to say, but he wasn’t a trained professional.

Macy shrugged and dropped her gaze. “They’re scary. I don’t like them.”

Lucas patted her leg. “But they’re just dreams. They’re not real. Jase told you that, didn’t he?”

She blinked wide, innocent eyes. “No.”

He unclenched his teeth to say, “Well, they’re not real. You keep that in mind, okay?”

She bit her lip, nodded and burrowed into the blankets.

The living room was dark but for two candles burning on the coffee table. Lucas didn’t mince words as he crossed to the couch. “You told Macy her dreams were real.”

Jase sat in Lucas’s spot from the night before, one leg pulled casually to his chest while he poked at the candle. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Lucas. I never told her that.”

Damn the man’s infuriating calm. “But you didn’t not say it. We’re not dealing with an adult here. She’s going to make inferences based on child’s logic. There’s very little gray area for someone her age.”

Jase dropped his gaze and tapped his finger along the edge of the melting wax. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

Like hell. “Do you—” Lucas swallowed the rest of the question. He didn’t really want the answer, did he? “You honestly think they mean something,” he said, taking a seat beside Jase.

“Beyond her own mind trying to sort through what’s happened to her? Because I’m sure that’s part of it. Yes, aside from that, I think they mean something.”

Here was Lucas’s opportunity to call Jase crazy, and cut and run. Not a jury in the world would blame him. Unfortunately, his conscience wouldn’t allow it. No matter how insane Jase sounded, Lucas trusted him. “I don’t understand,” he said, lowering himself onto the couch. “Why do you think that? Give me something to work with here. Please.”

Jase set his jaw in a hard line. “I don’t know if I can. It’s just a feeling.”

“Like...a psychic hotline feeling?” Lucas stammered, “Or a feeling based on experience?”

Jase gave a gruff laugh. “Believe it or not, I don’t have a lot of experience with this.”

They were all stumbling around in the dark. Lucas reached to touch Jase’s face, remembering belatedly he was supposed to be angry with him.

Jase turned into the touch. “Is she asleep?”

“Pretty sure.” The candles tonight were smaller, throwing only a fraction of last night’s light. Beyond the small flickering circle where they sat, blackness. Lucas shut his mouth on the rest of his doubts and waited.

“You’re seeing someone?” Jase touched the tip of a match to the flame. It hissed as it flared.

Lucas had regretted the hasty remark since it had passed his lips. “It’s casual.”

“I don’t care.” Jase pinched out the match, shifting his body toward Lucas. “I wouldn’t care if it were serious. As long as you’re willing, I want you.” He cut off, breathing heavily. “Sometimes I think I haven’t changed at all.”

“You have.” Lucas drew him up onto the couch. “Swear to God, if we make it through this, I’m not letting you leave until we get one night in a proper bed.”

Their lovemaking went no further than it had the night before, but Lucas knew things now he hadn’t then—what made Jase’s breath hitch, what could carry him to the end in seconds, and what caresses drew the pleasure out into long, deep waves. Jase had learned just as much—too much—because he brought Lucas over too soon, and with little more than words and a soft touch.

“Mmm,” he said, nipping at Lucas’s throat while he caught his breath. Lazily, he eased Lucas’s briefs to his thighs and traced a finger over his damp stomach. “That’s quite a kink you have there.”

“Yeah,” Lucas panted. And he had a feeling Jase would be able to ride it further than anyone had before, maybe taking him all the way to orgasm with little more than whispered promises, instructions and desires.

Jase scratched blunt fingernails along Lucas’s thigh, rubbing himself along his hip in a broken rhythm. “More?”

“Absolutely.” And not only because Jase was obviously holding himself back by the thinnest measure of control. Already, Lucas’s body was stirring again, coaxed as much by Jase’s hands and words as by the thick press of his cock. He used the little room they had to scoot onto his back, pulling Jase on top of him while he tried to strip the other man’s underwear down and off.

Jase caught his wrist. “We shouldn’t.”

“Oh believe me, I know.” As a testament to how little of his brain was working, he insisted anyway. They grappled before Jase conceded; Lucas’s wandering hands probably helped.

“It’ll be okay,” Lucas said, catching the briefs with his foot to pull them completely free. Jase’s restless, naked body was carrying him higher by the second. “More” was definitely on the menu. Lucas stretched for the blanket and pulled it over them. “As long as we don’t take all night.”

Jase lifted up onto his arms and pressed down and forward, sliding them together through mingled perspiration and the remnants of Lucas’s first orgasm. A bolt of pleasure curled Lucas’s toes.

Jase gasped, thrusting again. “Okay. Taking too long’s not going to be a problem.”

Hardly. Lucas pulled him down, losing some of the gorgeous view but magnifying the sensation tenfold, and let Jase set the pace—a patient, steady rocking that built to crescendo quickly.

“Lucas,” Jase rasped at the end, shuddering.

It struck Lucas more deeply than any dirty talk could have. He opened his eyes when the candle sputtered and flickered, and tightened his embrace when Jase shifted restlessly.

“Lucas,” Jase whispered again.

“Yeah?”

Tender fingers sifted through his hair. “Never mind.”

* * *

Lucas surfaced from the dream, sweating, heart pounding. Now his subconscious had picked up on the alligator theme. Nothing fully formed, just damp smells, a sudden splash and the brush of scales against his legs. Shivering, he shifted enough to bury his face in Jase’s neck. The arm curled around his waist twitched and Jase’s graveled voice asked, “You okay?”

“Mmm.” Getting there, but the most vivid details were clinging to him, like the smell of the night in Naples. Whether it was warm or cold, the Everglades kicked up a dank odor, and the billions of insects never stopped singing to one another. He could hear their drone even now.

Wrong. That was wrong.

Lucas struggled upright, elbowing Jase in the cheek in his haste.

“Ow! Jesus, Lucas. What is it?”

He could hear the swamp. Worse, he could smell it. “Macy!” he yelled, kicking free of the blanket and thumping to the floor against the coffee table. The candles were out, burned down hours ago, which set him one step closer to panic, because without them the house should have been pitch-black, shutters closed tight against the bright moon. Yet light axed through the room, splashing across the pooled wax.

Macy’s door, which they’d pulled mostly closed for privacy, stood ajar. Lucas could see the shutters thrown wide and the window open.

Jase scrambled up and ran after Lucas into the room. “Macy!” he yelled, turning in a circle before ducking down the corridor to the bathroom. The lights over the twin vanities blazed to life. “Nothing,” he shouted.

Of course there was nothing, because she’d gone out the window. “Outside!” Lucas shouted, backtracking to the living room. He swept the coffee table clear, barely hearing the crash of the glass candlesticks hitting the tile, and sat on it to yank his shoes on.

In the doorway, Jase did the same, hopping on one foot while he donned his sneakers. “Which way?”

Rather than respond to the panic in his voice, Lucas answered with action, sliding the rolling shutters to the lanai open with a shove and disengaging the lock on the glass sliders. They burst onto the lanai, and Lucas ripped through the screened door in his haste to pull it open. He ran several steps into the dark before making himself stop. “Macy!” he called. “Macy!”

Behind him, Jase spoke low, under his breath. It took Lucas a moment to make out the words. “No. No. No. Shit. I can’t feel her,” Jase whispered, voice hoarse with fear. “I can’t feel her anywhere.”