Jamie - The Journey Begins - 36. Chapter 36 Journeys End

Heading out of our room - cleaned up, but in the same clothes - we headed out the back door a few seconds apart. Lucas turned around and looked between us both, pointing. "Wow don't y’all look freshly fucked."

Hailey's head almost snapped off sideways as she hit him in the arm. “Lucas, your mouth.”

Her eyes were about to sprout lasers or something and burn clean through him. He jumped to his feet. “And that’s my signal to get us all some drinks before I die! This is all your fault, Jamie” he said, pointing at me. “So, you can help.” Now he was giving me the attitude look.

I shook my head in total innocence and looked to Ben for reassurance that I hadn’t said something. “What did I do? I said nothing.”

“I liked what you did, Jamie!”

That reply from Ben cracked Hailey up. I was totally confused. It just took the piss out of me.

“Go on … get me a soda,” Hailey suggested. “One of those that Jamie likes,” she remarked, trying to still look pissed at Lucas even though she wasn’t.

“Ben, you want a LLB too?” I guess he didn’t want to chance pissing both our partners off at the same time. ‘When I grow up I wanna be smart like Lucas.’

“Thanks… yes. I’m so glad you got six boxes shipped over. I fell in love with these in Australia last year - remember Hailey?” He continued, “Yes,” pointing straight at me, “the one mixed in half measures of vodka too. What did he call it?”

“Dirty LLB.”

Ben smiled.

“That’s right ,,, a dirty LLB. First chance I get, your husband is going to make me a whole mess of them.” Hailey replied as she rubbed her awesome baby bump.

..o0o..

“So,” Ben turned toward Dillon, “how are you guys going? Still a little sore from last week? We heard y’all DISCUSSING about taking it easy today.” Dillon’s face went bright red. Ben, seeing his discomfort, dropped his hand on his arm to calm him.

Ben smiled. “You know it’s good that you guys are talking about it. Right, It’s super healthy …” The few calming words from Ben had Ryan and Dillon smiling at each other.

“Yeah” Ryan offered in a hushed voice. “The physical injuries were healing, but the emotional/psychological will take longer.” At that he kissed Dillon on the cheek, both of their hands intertwined.

“Ben, I’ve never seen you and Jamie argue. The most anyone has seen is the occasional angry looks shared. That’s about it - how do y’all do it?”. Dillon’s face was etched with a longing, trying to understand how …

Taking a deep breath, I replied “He - Jamie - won’t argue with me, ever!”
With a neutral look, “we had a …. misunderstanding when we started going out. It blew up bad-” Memories came flooding back. I felt my heartbeat pickup and a dry feeling in my throat for a moment - at least my reaction to those memories is a little more subdued now.
Subconsciously I had put my hand to my mouth for a moment: sometimes now even, those dark and powerful memories had not faded completely. They’d lessened for sure over the years, but it was still a little painful. “-we were both idiots. That turned into, well, not talking – not explaining what each other felt. It was a big lesson to learn - and learn we did! I swear communication - talking to your partner - is the most important thing you can do. We learned that thoughts unspoken, not shared, can go pretty badly.”

Remembering back to that - the call with Jamie, Ben continued, “He, Jamie, tried in his own clumsy, mind- muddled way to explain what had happened, back in Australia,” pausing for a moment, taking a steadying breath. “Hmmm … Sam. Jamie was really deeply upset and was trying his best to explain what had happened. He went over there on that call. It didn’t go anything like what he expected it to. I was crushed.”

My heart ached for a moment, remembering both the incident, but also Jamie’s heartfelt apologies. I don’t think he truly forgave himself for years. I was just as hard on myself too.

“Anyways, after that, Jamie swore that he never wanted to make me feel like that again, that he’d never keep anything from me, or be so obviously stupid and naïve. He’s been true to his word…” I could feel the emotion wrap around me. I hadn’t really spoken about this for some time. I guess it took me a little unawares.

Dillon placed his arm on mine, offering a sweet and genuine, “Are you ok, Ben?”

I paused, facing him. “Yeah, I’m ok – just, it was some of the hardest days of my life. To be honest, I had no intention of going back there – in my mind - again. It just… slipped out, I guess.”

Ben took a breath which helped drive away those feelings. “Anyway, when we finally got ourselves sorted out – with the help of Lucas, Daniel and Hailey…” I smiled … “Jamie promised that we’d never fight - he’d never fight or be the cause of one with me again, because he couldn’t – wouldn’t risk losing me again.”

Dillon was silent for a moment, his eyes a little watery, “Ben, that has to be the most beautiful thing I’ve heard. Not the breaking up bit, but Jamie’s commitment to you guys. Umm… you can see it written all over his face at times.” He reassuringly touched Ben. “But wow, that’s just… so what happens now? He just agrees to everything? Isn’t that worse? I can’t see Jamie just … giving in all the time?”

A wry smile formed. “Didn’t say he agreed with everything - not at all! - y’all have met Jamie! Can you see him just rolling over, agreeing with everything, right?” I couldn’t help but smile at that thought, though – Jamie just surrendering all the time. Not in this lifetime!!

“Ok,” I paused, “let me clear that up. Sure, he jokes a lot, but he does have a serious side. I guess y’all saw close up how he can be serious sometimes, right?” The corners of Dillon’s mouth turned up a little into a half smile, as he nodded in agreement. “He just goes a little quiet and normally says stuff like, ‘I’m not really comfortable about that. Please, can we talk?’ or he just goes super quiet till I ask. Then we talk it out.” I shook my head, a little. “I gotta say for the first year, it drove me insane, Who doesn’t like a good throwdown every now and then?” We all laughed.

“Surprised then? With the whole kickass thing he did, saving Ryan and me?” Dillon asked.

A hint of pride/surprise spread across my face. “Totally! He’s never, umm, ‘gone off,’ I think Jamie call’s it. I still get lost in some of the things he says. Australians speak English, but some of the slang terms he still uses - yeah I get lost” Chuckling a little, “I have to say, my favourite one is ‘yeah-nah’ – no - I’m sorry - I don’t mean to offend, or ‘nah-yeah’ – okay yes but I’m not so keen.

“Jamie hadn’t gone off like that for a long time – years, according to Lucas! It was a total surprise, bit of a shock really. Aiden, Lucas’ brother, explained how Jamie did the same thing years ago when a couple of guys were bullying him - Aiden.”

Dillon’s eyes searched the yard for Aiden, widening when he found him. “What! How big were those guys? Aiden’s a man-mountain! And Jamie jumped in? What, like all fight-scene from ‘Footloose’ or something?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “My boy loves that movie too - the old one from the 80’s. He gets up and starts dancing around. But yeah, pretty much,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, anyway, when Jamie was a sophomore, Aiden wasn’t the big guy he is now. Jamie was even smaller than Aiden. Didn’t stop him kicking butt - he jumped straight in.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Dillon remarked. “I didn’t see everything as I passed out at some point, but what I did see was your man there kicking some serious butt, taunting them an all. He was trying to focus their attention on him and not Ryan and me. I’m still in awe! That’s some ballsy stuff from your man.”

I realised that the conversation had drifted off and was probably taking Dillon back to memories he’d like to let fade. “Sorry, Dillon. I didn’t mean to… want to take you back there.”

Dillon held up his hand. “Nah, you’re all good. He was pretty amazing. Thankfully, he was there to save our asses.”

“Hmmm… ok… as long as y’all are ok, I don’t want to be the cause, you know… going back to memories, especially bad ones, right.” I laughed a little to myself. Must be the conversation for drifting back to old painful memories…

Dillon smiled, waving me away. We’re all good.” He stopped. His expression changed, more troubled looking for a moment. “Ben, I’m still nervous as when we’re out in public. Ryan feels it too, but not as much as me. That’s why we needed to, had to come today, so that we can I can - learn to trust the world outside our front door.”

I could clearly see that, while Dillon may have been saying they were ok, his face showed that they weren’t quite there yet. “It will take some time; you have to repair on the inside too. Y’all just need to take time, ease into it. Need anything, just ask.”

I tilted my head towards Ryan. “Ok, let’s go see what this fuss is about. I think my man is getting impatient with us, Dillon.”

“Ben, is it true?” Ryan asked, looking there like his mind had just been blown away.

“Which-what Ryan! God, y’all been working with my husband too long. Now you’re sounding like him.” I couldn’t help but smile at Ryan. “I’ll say the same thing I do to him - just back up a bit. What’s true?”

Ryan smiled. “Sorry, haha. Jamie has only been with the Forestry Service for a little over 5 years. Can it be? He’s so good at the job. I mean, he and/or boss Jack are like on the same page. When you hear them talking, he - Jamie - is one of the best superintendents in the forestry service. Even the guys on the west coast love him. And, trust me: they’re some hard ass sons of...”

“Jamie’s now a superintendent?” Dave joined the conversation while Gav sat there with a not overly surprised look on his face.

“Well guys, let me, please.” Dave was waving his hands like he was pulling us all into a huddle. “I’ve known Jamie, like Gav, since pre-k days. We’ve shared so many memories, good and bad, but as sure as I’m sitting here, there’s no doubt this - the fire service - is absolutely the career for our boy. He’s so much like his dad, Robert, God rest his soul.” The little group stopped for a second raising their drinks, shouting “Robert” in unison.

Dave continued. “Jamie inherited his dad’s firefighting skills and then some. Gav, you reckon?” He nodded. “Plus, his mom’s compassion. That’s why he so good at it. From an outside looking in, it’s more than just knowing how to put out a fire, or knowing fire behaviour: it’s the compassion he demonstrates for both his colleagues and also the people caught up in it all - those whose day or lives have been changed in a dramatic way – sometimes permanently.”

“Back home in Australia, he still is mentioned in promotion courses as one of the most successful recruits on promotion. If he’d stayed, most likely he would have been a Deputy or Assistant Chief Fire Officer by now.”

“But,” Gav took over looking at the circle of friends, “this guy right here, Ben,” he said while reaching over and ruffing up Ben’s hair, “is the love of his life. Without a doubt, Jamie absolutely worships the ground that this guy walks on – damn, not even walks over. Sometimes I’m sure Ben just has to look upon the land and Jamie loves it. It’s funny and cute at the same time, and so not the guy we knew growing up.”

“Hmm, I’m not so sure Gav,” Dave responded. “If you think about it, when Jamie was little - even when he was in his teens - you’d see that affection at times. It wasn’t on display often, but I can remember seeing it occasionally. No surprise though, when he finally got his shit together and popped the question to this man, it was a no-brainer - Jamie saying that he would move over here to be with Benny-boy,” Dave smiled.

“And didn’t he go all out with that one,” Gav cut in.

“Fuck yeah! Hey - Ben, Hot Air Balloons, Fire Trucks… the whole shooting match.” Dave laughed.

“Plus, these.” Ben held his hand out, showing their engagement and wedding bands locked together.

“Wow, I never really looked,” Ryan commented. “Jamie has tape over his at work. Cool! Where did he buy them?”

Ryan was taking in the detail when it jumped out: “They’re coupled together like a twin lug fitting!” He looked up at Ben’s face, totally amazed. Dillon looked closer now.

Ben smiled. “He designed them himself, had a family friend in Australia make them and send them over - even managed not to let his mom or the rest of us know what was going on the whole time.” Happy memories filled Ben’s mind and he couldn’t help but smile. “And then that moment when Jamie got down on one knee and proposed…” he laughed a little.

“Dang it! That’s just amazing, I’m like…” Ryan couldn’t shift his eyes from our rings.

“Speechless, Ryan? I was too when he asked me. For the first few seconds, all I could do was stare at those beautiful eyes of his and nod yes.”

“You’re right!” Daniel joined in, looking at his ‘little’ brother. “I couldn’t have asked for,” holding his drink up, “a better partner for my super smart bro here… “ he said, grabbing Ben and kissing his cheek, “or a better brother-in-law, friend and Pappa for my three cousins, than your Aussie mate.”

“Although,” Daniel added, “Jamie doesn’t do stuff by halves: just look at all of this,” he added while pointing to the house, yard, and people everywhere. “You and Skip have worked your butts off for all of this. But, it’s more than a nice house or yard: it says you guys everywhere. It’s your home. And, the guys got commitment right – moving country for the love of his life. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him complain, not once.”

Ben smiled at his brother, “Thanks, Dan. He’s never once complained or voiced regret, although I would have moved to Australia. Jamie just didn’t think the job opportunities for me were as available down under. I remember him saying, ‘It’s not hard to get a job as a firefighter. Skills are pretty easy: follow the smoke and put water on it.” They all laughed at that. It was Jamie’s favourite line. He was always discounting his skills We all know it’s a lot more than that, and my husband is very, very good at it.”

Dave interjected for a moment. “Hey, Ben,” he said in a low voice. Ben looked at Dave with the smile from the conversation still on his face.

“Yeah, Dave, what’s up?”

“You know that part of what I do involves high-level recruitment for Corporations and Governments internationally, right?”

Ben nodded.

“I wasn’t sure if I should mention this, but we’ve just started to head-hunt candidates for two roles back home.”

Ben nodded and leaned in closer. “What are they?”

Dave took a breath and smiled a little, knowing he was about to throw the cat amongst the birds. “A new director of trauma training for the Ambulance Service and a Deputy Chief officer for THE fire service.”

Ben’s face went still for a moment, somewhere between shock and total surprise. “Does Jamie know?”

“No. He’s said a few times before, when command roles have come up, that he’s not interested,” Dave shrugged his shoulders. “Just thought I should tell you though,” he added, smiling.

Ben smiled back. “Thanks, Dave. He can be stubborn at times, your mate.”

“You mean, your husband!” At that they both laughed.

“So, tell me more, Dave, about these jobs.”

..o0o..

“Hey guys. What’s happening?” Jamie wrapped his arm around Ben’s waist, kissing the soft skin on his neck. A small groan escaped Ben’s lips.

“Ryan was just surprised that you have only been with the forestry service five years,” Daniel offered.

“What can I say, Ry. I’m a fast learner, haha.” He kissed Ben’s neck again then rested his chin on his shoulder while wrapping his arms around Ben’s waist.

“See … what did I tell you?” Ben replied. “He’s always gonna downplay just how amazing this guy really is,” he proudly stated, accentuating the last bit. Jamie just shrugged his shoulders and hugged Ben a little tighter, causing Ben to smile and squeeze Jamie’s hand, placing his hand on his and rubbing Jamie’s wedding band under his finger without thought.

Breaking the conversation for a moment, four very excited and happy children weaved in and out of the adults, Ava and Archer were being pursued by Lucas and Hailey’s two kids as the four then disappeared down the yard.

“So, y’all ever wondered how the kids look so much like these two, Ryan and Dillon?” Daniel asked with a smile on his face.

Both Ryan and Dillon looked at each other for a moment, nodding their heads in agreement. “Ha ha. This is a day of revelation! I’ve only just noticed.” Dillon replied. “Yeah, they both look like their parents, the same as you can see that Hailey and Lucas’ kids look like them.”

“Jamie-Ben - are you going to explain, or can I?”

Jamie just smiled at his brother-in-law, kissing Ben on the cheek and nodding ‘yes’ to Daniel.

“Ok, so, gotta say I just love this.” Daniel was all smiles. “These two finally decided that they would succumb to the constant questions from both their - our – mothers … you know, the grandbabies question.”

Everyone in the little group laughed. “Yep - all been there.”

“So, Jamie messaged Amber and Stephanie, without Ben knowing a thing.” Ben just shook his head and cuddled up to Jamie with such a smile on his face. “Asking his sister and sister-in-law if they would donate eggs for them to start a family, explaining that he had this grand plan to match Stephanie’s egg with Ben’s sperm, and match his with Amber’s. I swear, I heard her – Amber - squeal with delight from my place some five miles away!!”

Jamie smiled at the memory of his sister’s call. “Y’all couldn’t hear Stephanie, though, hey Daniel?” They both laughed at that. “She was deployed with the US 5th fleet at the time as a naval aviator, somewhere in the Indian Ocean, I remember her saying. She called me from the ship she was embarked on. I could hear the tears/emotion in her voice as she said, ‘Fuck’n absolutely! Take as many as you need, haha!’ So yeah, Stephanie and Amber donated the eggs; Jamie and Ben donated the sperm; the fertility clinic did their bit, and their awesome surrogate did the cooking, haha.”

Ryan and Dillon just looked at each other, dumbstruck. “That is just amazing! Maybe we could do that with your sister, Ry,” Dillon asked.

“I’ve already asked her. When I came out at 17, I asked if she’d help me out in the future with an egg if I wanted to start a family with someone. So, she went and got 6 eggs frozen.
Apparently, the closer you are to twenty, the better the eggs work with IVF. Lucky for me, she’s on track to be a biomedical PhD – well, senior at that time, but you know.”

Clearly that was a total surprise to Dillon. His mouth hung open like a barn door in the wind.
“So, when you’re ready, we can start, I guess.” Ryan smiled, kissing Dillon in a very tender way. It was beautiful to watch.

“Hmm, ok, so, yeah…” Jamie broke the love bubble for a moment. “Seems that Ben and I aren’t done with our little family just yet, are we Ben?”

“Ah no… Ok so Jamie asked last night if we could revisit the eggs we’ve got stored. There are two left, so we’re gonna speak to Alex’s surrogate and see is she’s interested in going around again,” Ben smiled.

“She is!” Jamie added in a casual tone, “I messaged her this morning and asked. She’s up for it. Might have talked her into both…”

The look of surprise on Ben’s face was priceless. “You’ve already asked her? Of course you have, Jamie!” Ben started to laugh. “Thank God I can’t get pregnant - he’d have me knocked up! Right, ‘knocked up’?” Ben inquired, not sure if he used the right Aussie slang.

“Yep. I’ll make an Aussie out of you yet, Benjamin.” Jamie leaned in closer so the others couldn’t hear, “but I’m willing to try get you pregnant, anytime-anyplace.”

Ben’s face turned a lovely shade of red.

Daniel smiled at his brother and partner. “And that’s why I love this guy,” he said, looking at Jamie. “There is nothing he wouldn’t do for my brother.”

..o0o..

The party was settling into a nice vibe. The kids had found a stash of treats from both their grandmothers, so they were silently watching YouTube while sitting in the shallow end of the pool, stuffing their faces. The older adults, Ben’s parents, Raine and Ann Maire, and Kate were sitting in a small group drinking some wine. Every so often, you’d hear laughter coming from them.

I was sitting on one of the outdoor lounge chairs. Ben was sitting between my legs, leaning against my chest. Lucas, Hailey, Daniel and Ella, Amber and Trev were doing the same. Their little circle took up half the yard, with Stephanie, Todd and the rest of our friends either sitting on yard chairs or on the blankets and pillows on the lawn when a loud and familiar voice came from the side gate.

“G’day, mate! What’s digg’n?” I couldn’t spin my head around any faster.

“Ty! About time.” Ben automatically moved forward a little so I could get up. I almost sprinted to the gate when my buddy grabbed me in a huge bear hug.

“Shit, man – you’re gonna snap my ribs.” I dropped, half-bent over for a moment, trying to get my breath without fainting.

“Oh shit! Sorry … forgot about that,” Ty grimaced.

Sam was standing to his side all smiles.

“Hey, Sam - how’s it going?” I called out as I stretched out a free arm and pulled him into a more gentle Jamie-Ty crush. “So, what’s happening guys,” I asked as we walked over to the crowd, most of whom were standing now to greet these two.

“We’ll I did a thing.” Ty looked coyly between Sam and me. “I asked Sam to marry me, and he said yes!”

“That is fucking awesome! Hey guys Ty asked Sam to marry him!” The look between those two was just perfect. They’d been together for years now. I was wondering if it was going to happen or not … just guess everyone does stuff at their own pace right.

Everyone cheered and started to crowd around them, offering their congratulations. The parents table had seen what was going on and were making their way over to congratulate them. After everyone had their fill about how Ty popped the question, when was the wedding, etc., we settled into chill mode.

“Hey, Jamie … you got a sec?” Ty asked.

“Sure, buddy.” We walked over to the side of the yard where there were less people.

“I wanted to ask you, because we’ve been mates since we were 4years old, right?”

“Yeah, of course Ty. What do you need?”

“I’d like you to be my best man, my oldest friend. It would mean the world to me.”

I was silent for at least 30 seconds … me silent, right! “Ty I’d love to … I’d be honoured. I’m so happy for you guys … so happy. It’s awesome.”

We talked for the next half-hour about where our lives had taken us, reaffirming that we were all good about the whole Sam-Me-Him thing – like, shit, that was years ago.

“I’m in demand, man,” I laughed with Ty. “Josh Nicolls and Ryan - you know, Tom’s Ryan? - are getting married in July next year. Josh asked me to stand up for him too.

“Get this, though: Josh has been a regular visitor to our place for years, same with Cali-Ryan. Before he asked me to stand up for him, Josh and Ben went out for a coffee, where Josh asked Ben if he’d be ok with it, you know - me being his best man.”

Ty looked a little concerned for a moment. “Should I ask Ben if it’s ok? I know we talked about it all after your wedding and all, but should I check in?”

“Mate, you, Gav, Dave and Adam are my oldest friends. I think that buys you extra cred, but by all means, if it’s a concern with you, go chat with him before we say anything.”

“Thanks, mate. I will, just in-case. So, any way, what happened with their coffee, Ben, and Josh?”

“Oh yeah, right. So, Josh, and Hailey and Gav… she happened to stop in and by a coffee, so they asked her to join. Gav was staying with us for a week due to his work, so he came along. But anyways … Yeah, Josh wanted to make sure that things were cool between Ben and him, even though we’d never actually hooked up, Josh and me.” I pointed between myself and the open space between Ty and me.

“Josh was all happy, super happy for Ben and me, saying he counts us close and great friends.”

“Yeah, nice guy that Josh,” Ty remarked.

“Yeah, so, Josh talked about how I ‘apparently’ threw myself at him that night back in LA - remember the night of photos?” I started to shake my head for a moment, reliving parts of that night again. “Fuck, I was a dick, wasted, and a dick.” I could hardly recall it without feeling somewhat uneasy about how much of a dick I was.

“So, Josh came straight out and said that he was a good guy resisting me throwing myself at him… go figure. That I was so wasted, common theme that night… he could see that under the frat house behaviour that I was a good guy.” Fuck, I always, still do think Josh is a great guy, “So many others wouldn’t have given it a second thought of taking advantage of my crazy state.”

“All this from a guy that I hadn’t know all that long, really. We’d been hanging out for a short time, but he was starting to catch feelings for me. I wanted to make it clear - super clear - that he couldn’t be happier for Ben and me.”

Ty jumped in. “It was meant to be Ben and you, Jamie. You needed to go find yourself again after all that nasty work stuff and divorce and leave that trail of broken hearts.

“Josh described it like I was a little kid, running through a wheat crop, running my hands over the heads of the wheat, just enjoying running, which, in hindsight, was pretty frigg’n accurate.”

“How did how Josh know about that stuff, Jamie?” his friend asked, somewhat confused that Josh knew this stuff about Jamie then. It wasn’t widely known, really.

“Apparently Ty. I was at one point in the fetal position on Tom’s floor, letting it all out, and Josh was comforting me. I don’t even remember it. Maybe it was a little breakdown.” Jamie shook his head.

A determined look crossed Ty’s face. “Yeah, I’m going to go have a chat to Ben, first-mate. Then we’ll see if he’s totally ok with it. If he’s ok, great - and if not, I get it.”

“Thanks Ty. It means a lot to me that you’d consider Ben’s feelings in this, notwithstanding our friendship.”

“That’s exactly why, buddy, because of our friendship.” Ty leaned over and kissed Jaime’s forehead.

..o0o..

“Hey - come on guys… let’s dance. I think that’s our song!” I yelled out.

“Thanks, Jamie. I’m gonna sit this one out,” Hailey gently rubbed her very oversized belly.
“Um-yeah, Hails. The last thing we want with all these kids and extended family around is our very own nature show - child birth in our yard, haha."

I playfully rubbed Lucas’ shoulder. “You stay here, buddy, and look after your lovely - and my beer. Look after, I mean - don't drink it.”

Lucas just smiled at me, "Sure." He proceeded to gulp the bottle. "Oops … my bad," he teased while poking his tongue out.

Grabbing Ben’s hand, I gently led him toward a clear dance space, but not before leaning in and kissing my cousin on the cheek… okay, and Lucas too. He was being so sweet, kissing and her telling her how much he loved her - any idiot could see that. The one thing both Lucas and I had excelled in was getting this - our choice of life partner - right.

“Hey you … like my outfit?” I gave him one of my thousand-watt smiles.

Ben laughed, then got that look in his eye - like I was candy and he needed a sugar fix. “I can’t believe that Mitt and Peter talked you into wearing your lederhosen. Hmm… that last time you wore this was our …“

“…Third wedding anniversary. I remember,” I sighed while pulling Ben up against me. I took his hand in mine, bringing it to rest against my chest over my heart.

We started to slow dance to ‘Cold Play Yellow – A song that so-so much summed up soul mate. We danced slowly, looking into each other's eyes. Time just stood still, my mind full of the memories we'd created together, our family, friends, our kids.

“Jamie,” he asked in a low voice, his head resting on my shoulder. “A job has come up that would be amazing for me, I think - Director of Training – trauma - for a service.”

I couldn’t help hide the surprise on my face. “Wow! That sounds amazing, Ben. Have you applied?” Our heads were resting on each other as we slowly danced.

“No, Skip. I wanted to talk to you first, as I would need us to relocate if I were successful.”

Pulling back, I looked into Ben’s beautiful eyes, his smile was so comforting, I felt warm all over.

“If we need to move, no problem, Tex … anything for you.” I paused to gently kiss those amazing lips. “I’d change jobs if I had to … not a worry.”

A smile wrapped over Ben’s face. “Well, that might be a necessity, as there is also a Fire Service Deputy Chief’s position open too!” he replied, kissing along Jamie’s jawline.

His gentle murmurs ignited a fire within me. Damn - I love this man!

“Ben…” My mind fast-forwarded, thinking if I’d heard about any Deputy jobs coming up. The only one I’d just found out about was back in Australia.

“Yes, Skip.”

“Where is it - the-it-they-jeez- jobs.” Sometimes, English is truly my second language.

Ben pulled back a little and looked me dead square in the eyes. “Australia! And before you say ‘no’ outright, I think we should talk about it.”

My mind was instantly spinning as though I’d been tipped upside down and spun around a hundred times. “Ok… we can talk about it, but… what about our lives here, our home, jobs, kids.”

“Australia was ok enough for you to grow up in. It’s only for 4 years… maybe.” Ben smiled.

“If that’s what you want, Tex, I’ll go wherever you go.”

“Ok. Let’s talk about this tomorrow, ok? Right now, Skip … you need to kiss me.”

Ben let out a little quiet groan, as we pressed our lips together. I could feel myself smile inside as I wrapped my arm around behind my husband gently pulling our bodies together slowly dancing while looking into his eyes. As the song finished we pulled back a little. Our lips barely broke contact.

"Thank you, Ben."

The yard was alive with the sounds of family and so many friends that are part of our family: the Rush and Spence families. Kids were squealing. Laughter filled the air like the backing track to the music that is our lives, enveloping us all and adding a bond of love that was open and easy for all to see.

Lucas, Hailey, Ben, and I were as close as we'd ever been. Our kids were always together, much in the same way that Lucas and I had been when visiting as we grew up, but now we only lived ten minutes from each other, well - for the moment, maybe.

As I looked out past Ben’s shoulder, out across the yard - the space that was filled with family, friends - memories of my dad too flooded around me. I miss him so much, but know he is here with me - with us - in so many ways. In my heart, too, is Sean: he will always be there. As dad was my first hero, an amazing example of a man, Sean was my first love. But they are all second place to Ben.

Laughter filled the air, snapping me out of my own mind. Wow - to think this was all brought together by a series of events/accidents, starting with looking out the window of my lawyer’s office into that blue sky, drunkenly booking flights to the US; Lucas’ and my – our - epic road trip. I had -no, have -, so much to be thankful for.

A warm feeling washed over me. I felt comfortable, happy, but above all, in love.

“For what?” He nuzzled against my neck.

“For pulling me out of that truck six years ago… reviving me?” Ben’s hand slipped up my neck, gently tilting our foreheads together.

“I’d do it all and more in a heartbeat, Jamie. I never imagined I could be so happy.”

“And, yeah,” I laughed a little, “don’t think I’ve forgotten that it took years for you to finally admit IT WAS YOU, that revived me over and over in the back of the bus. Thank you, Tex.”

“Was me… what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replied with a sly smile.

I smiled as it dawned on me. “That’s why.” A warm smile wrapped over my face.

“That’s why what, Jamie?”

“You, when we…” for some stupid reason I blushed, “when we make love, you put your hand on my chest, over my heart.”

A shy, almost timid, look swept over him. “Not sure what you mean. I love feeling you as you come in me.”

Through our shared looks, there was agreement: I knew it was, because he was admitting to me that he saved me – then, and often since - with his love. Leaning into him, I gently kissed those soft warm lips. “You revived me then. You do every day with your love.”

Breathing in his scent, still as intoxicating today as it was the first time I smelled it, I couldn’t help but smile like a school kid that made the team. “But most of all, Ben, for giving me a family of our own, for sharing your life with me, putting up with my at-times childish ways, for making me the happiest man, something I thought I’d never feel in so many ways.”

His eyes looked up into mine, taking me in - those sky-blue babies, that I get so lost in. He wasn’t saying a word. Those plump, sweet lips remained silent, but his eyes conveyed so much.

We were gently swaying with the music, or maybe to our own beat - to be honest, I couldn’t say.

“I swear sometimes I look into your eyes and time stops. Everything just fades to nothing and all I see, hear, feel is you, Ben.” I kissed him gently – featherlight … once, twice and a third time, each one becoming deeper, till my head was spinning.

Our lips finally came apart. We both smiled at each other, resting our foreheads against the other in a sweet-timid way,

“Benjamin Rush Spence - Ben - thank you for letting me love you today, tomorrow - Forever.”

The End