Connor and the Wolves - 35. Wolf's Claim

It was over. Connor had given Soren an excuse to break up with him. Khurtschono wasn’t talking to him. Soren could go back to the way things were before. He could be normal again, just like he wanted.
So why did his heart ache so much?
‘Please call me.’
He couldn’t call. Better just to let the relationship die out. No matter how many times Connor messaged or tried to call him, Soren could not return the calls.
Besides, it still hurt. Was that all he was to Connor? Some charity case for him to parade in front of his parents? Soren was not going to be used like that.
He just needed to hold firm. Stay away from Connor. It would be easy. All he had to do was quit the track team. And after last Varyal, no one would blame him. He hoped.
An alarm beeped, and Soren shut it off. Four in the morning. He hadn’t slept at all. Maybe he’d stay home. He needed to catch up on chores around the house anyway. The herb garden needed trimming, the fish weir needed emptying, there were potatoes to replant.
He didn’t want to do any of it.
“Okay, Soren. Time to get up.”
He remained in bed. Staring up at the ceiling, Soren felt a cold breeze wash over him. He could just lay here all day, and let the world go on around him. What did it matter? He’d always be fighting for survival, never any peace. Wouldn’t it be easier to just give up?
A thunderous knocking ripped him out of his thoughts. Groaning as he stood up, Soren grabbed his phone and turned on the torch. He shuffled through the house, opening the front door.
Kurt stood on the other side, clad in worn clothes and her muck boots.
“Good, you’re here,” she muttered, pushing into the house. “Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I wasn’t trying to blow you off. You… weren’t supposed to be there, and that was my fault.”
Soren blinked slowly, his mind struggling to keep up.
“Uh…”
“I’d like to make it up to you,” Kurt interrupted. “Aav said you can come over for dinner tonight. We’ll handle Altanchono; I swear he won’t be a problem.”
“I-”
“You don’t have plans with Connor, do you? I mean, I understand if you do, and we can reschedule.”
Kurt sucked in a breath. Soren shook his head slowly, trying to clear it.
“Uh… yeah. Yeah, I can… I can come over for dinner.”
“Good,” Kurt said. “And you’re getting a ride this morning so… uh…” She paused, finally noticing Soren’s nudity. “Uh, get dressed. You can help me muck stalls.”
“Right,” Soren muttered, turning back to the bedroom.
It only took a minute to dress for the day. Soon, Soren was trailing Kurt through the dark woods. The soft nickers of horses greeted them as they approached the barn, and Soren opened the stalls as Kurt poured oats into troughs.
With the horses moved, the two got to work on the stalls. A few minutes of scooping manure had the stalls cleaned. Soren felt good about the work. He was finally helping someone for once, instead of the other way around.
“Hey.” Soren looked up. Kurt stared at him from the stall next door. “No hard feelings about the guild, right? I did it to Altanchono, and it would be a bit hypocritical if I didn’t kick you out too.”
Soren shrugged.
“To be honest, I was never really into the game,” he admitted. “It made you happy though.”
“You didn’t have to pretend for me,” Kurt said, dumping shavings in the stall. “I’m a big girl. I can handle having friends who aren’t into the things I enjoy.”
“Okay. I’m… uh, I’m thinking about quitting the track team,” Soren said.
That brought Kurt up short.
“What? Why? You love running! And if you’re not part of the team, you won’t see…” Her eyes narrowed. “Okay, what happened between you and Connor?”
Soren winced, staring at the fresh shavings in his stall.
“He bought me lunch yesterday, then told his father he was feeding the poor,” he grumbled.
“Idiot.” Kurt kicked her stall shut and grabbed the wheelbarrow. “I told him not to talk about money. So what, are you giving him the cold shoulder? Make him earn your forgiveness?”
“I’m breaking things off.”
The wheelbarrow tipped, dumping its contents all over a stall mat.
“Fuck!” Kurt grabbed her rake again as Soren hurried to upright the wheelbarrow. “What the fuck for?! A lame joke?! Connor’s always joking about something.”
Soren sucked in a breath, grimacing at the smell of manure. He shuddered, scooping as fast as he could to avoid answering.
“Stop,” Kurt scowled. “Look at me, and tell me again that you are leaving your mate over a joke.”
Images flashed through Soren’s mind. Connor scarfing down an entire fish to avoid hurting his feelings. Connor wearing the bracelet he’d made. Connor holding Soren in his lap, combing through his hair.
He squeezed his eyes shut.
Connor telling River he’d spent the day feeding the poor.
His eyes opened.
“I am leaving Connor,” Soren said with steel in his voice. “I will not be anyone’s charity case. I survived this long on my own, and I can continue surviving.”
Kurt stared at him.
“Fucking idiots, I swear.”

“Altanaa, get your butt down here!”
Soren carried his cereal bowl to the sink. He glanced around warily, looking for Skylar, before dunking the bowl under the water to wash.
In the entrance hall, Catherine gathered her keys as Kurt pulled on her shoes. Altanchono came bounding downstairs, skidding to a stop by the front door. His head turned and he and Soren locked eyes.
“Altanchono.” Catherine’s sharp voice yanked the neko’s attention back. “What did I say?”
“To leave Soren alone,” Altanchono pouted.
“Or you’ll have to stay home again. And you don’t want that, do you?”
The neko shook his head violently. He pulled on his shoes before running outside.
Drying off the bowl, Soren set it with the other dishes before joining Kurt and Catherine at the door. They followed Altanchono outside, heading toward a small black car.
“Where’s John?” Soren asked.
“Hospital,” Kurt said. “He got bit by a snake yesterday.” Her face scrunched in concentration. “Eastern Blacktail Rattlesnake, I think?”
“Is he okay?” Soren demanded.
“Yeah, they just wanted to keep an eye on him. Maybe give him another shot. Skylar’s with him,” Kurt replied.
“Altanchono, you sit up front,” Catherine said, unlocking the car.
“Whoo! Front seat!”
Kurt and Soren slid into the back seat, and Soren wrestled the seatbelt on.
“You should toss a rock next time,” he said as the belt clicked.
“Huh? Oh… I guess. He was trying to shoo it away with a stick,” Kurt added.
“Yeah, that’s bad. Any stick is going to put you within biting distance of an angry snake. Rocks work better.”
“Do you come across a lot of snakes?” Catherine asked as she drove down the long drive to the highway. “Khurtschono mentioned you spend the summer as a wolf.”
“Yeah,” Soren said. “I try to avoid snakes though. And skunks. Deer make for good food if I can herd them into a trap, but usually I stick to squirrels or rabbits.”
“Well, you’re always welcome at our house if you want something warm,” Catherine said.
“Yeah, especially if you help with the horses,” Kurt added, casting a side eye at the mage.
Soren wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly what the neko was doing, offering him a way of earning his meals. It made him feel a little better about taking food; if he had an invitation and a way to pay for the meal, he’d happily eat dinner with the werewolves whenever they let him.
Though he’d have to find some way of dealing with the tea they gave him.

The smell of lavender filled Soren’s nose. He sipped at a black tea, finally feeling awake as the caffeine started working within him. It was a shame that the caffeine took until the end of first period to really affect him, but he didn’t miss much in the WolfRoom.
Things were going to be okay. He could compromise. Kurt was still his friend, and he could still quit the track team to avoid Connor. It was best for everyone.
The chime rang cheerfully through the school. Wolves began filing through the door, and Soren carried his cup to the sink, rinsing it out.
“Hey Soren, got a minute?” Samuel asked as the last werewolf left.
“Uh… sure?” Setting the cup aside, Soren turned to face the man.
“I wanted to ask how things were going with… Connor, right?”
Soren’s face soured. Why couldn’t people just let him break things off in peace?
“That bad?” Samuel nodded sympathetically. “You know, everyone has bad days. Even non-wolves. Do you want to talk about it?”
Not really. Yet Soren found the words spilling from his mouth.
“I don’t know. He was really sweet yesterday. Brought me lunch and he took me to the river. No one’s ever done that before. But then we got to his home and he told his father he was just feeding the poor.”
Samuel winced. “I can see how that would be upsetting.”
Tears prickled Soren’s eyes. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. It wasn’t like their relationship was real. It was all lies.
“What if it’s all lies?” he whispered. “What if there’s no mating urge?”
“Hmm…” Samuel pressed his fingertips together, taking a deep breath. “Well… have you considered that your claim might appear different from most claims? Perhaps your wolf craves affection and love, and views Connor as the one most suited to give you what you both need.” His gaze hardened. “Or it is a lie. You saw something you wanted, and you took it, forging a claim where there was none to get your way. That is a very serious issue, Soren. If it is true.”
Soren shuddered, staring at the floor.
“I don’t know,” he breathed. But he did know. He’d known since the words first blurted from his lips. He was a horrible person, and he couldn’t be with Connor.
But surely there was a way to ease out of this, without ruining this eggshell of a friendship with Kurt.
“I don’t think I want to see Connor any more.”
“Soren.” Samuel set a hand on the mage’s shoulder. “You’re bringing up some very heavy topics. If there is any bond between you and Connor, being away from him is going to be excruciating. But if you faked the whole thing, hoping for… well, I don’t really know… but if it’s fake, then you really should come clean to Connor. He deserves to know the truth.”
It was painful. Excruciating? Soren wasn’t so sure about that. But there was a void in his chest that wasn’t there before, and he didn’t know if it was because of Connor.
Not that it mattered. It was all fake. And it needed to end.