Window Stories - 16. Chapter 16

We had dinner at the Casablanca Steak House. It is the classiest restaurant in town. Now I know why Gary had me dress up. He had reserved a table for us. The hostess led us to a table close to the entrance. I was glad because the restaurant aisles were too narrow for my wheelchair.

Our server was an attractive young lady. She appeared to be about college age. I asked her later, and she said she was attending a local university. When she said she was majoring in psychology, we talked about her future plans. She hoped to someday work in a children’s hospital. She smiled when I told her that she would find that very satisfying.

When I looked over at Gary, he was smiling broadly. “What?” I asked.

“You still have it,” he said admiringly. “You have a way of just brightening someone’s day.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged. “It’s my own life I can’t brighten.”

“Tell me about it,” he insisted.

We spent the rest of the evening talking about Roger and Allen. I was still depressed that I had driven Roger from my life. Over the years I had never sought any contact with him. I didn’t exist in his life, and he didn’t exist in mine.

“Maybe your grandson will be better,” he assured me.

I told him, “Colin seems to think that he wants to be a part of my life.”

“That’s wonderful,” smiled Gary. “There’s nothing like having a close family.” He frowned and added, “It’s also something I never had.”

“Tell me about it,” I said.

“Not too much to tell,” he replied sadly. “My mother and father are dead. They never got used to me being gay. If I visited them, I would have to go alone. They never wanted to meet any of the guys I was with. Everett and I fought over it. Every time I would leave the house, he would want to go. I was afraid that my father would say something, and there would be a big fight.”

“Any other family?”

“No,” he replied. “I had a sister, but she died a few years ago. She didn’t have any children, and her husband and I never got along. I have a few cousins, but I haven’t seen them in years.”

I laughed and said, “I guess we’ll both be going to our graves alone.”

“At least you’ll be going with Dwight,” he replied. “Everett was cremated, and his sister took his ashes. Just dig a big hole and toss me in it.”

I laughed and said, “At least the worms will have something to eat.”

“Shut up, Phil,” he smiled. “I was thinking of being buried in your backyard.”

“We could always have you cremated and tossed into the shrubbery,” I laughed.

Gary smiled and said, “That’s a plan.”

The server brought our dinner. Gary had ordered for me because I had forgotten my glasses and couldn’t read the menu. When she placed the prime rib in front of me, I gasped, “I can’t eat all this!” I looked at the plate with the largest cut of meat I had ever seen. The plate also had a huge baked potato, green beans and two rolls.

Gary placed the cloth napkin over his chest and said, “I’m starving. Eat up, Phil.”

The meal was one of the best I had eaten in years. I was used to eating large meals when I dined out with Dwight. It wasn’t unusual for us to spend over a hundred dollars at dinner. Looking at the large portions on the table, I figured it would probably cost double that now. However, one thing worried me. I didn’t have any credit cards on me. When I entered the nursing facility, I only had my insurance card and driver’s license. I had left my wallet in a dresser drawer. I had no way of paying for my dinner.

Gary gave me a puzzled look when I pulled out my phone and called Colin. I was hoping that he was at my home, and he could bring me my wallet. When Colin didn’t answer, I became upset. “What’s wrong?” asked Gary. When I explained my situation, he laughed. “Phil,” he said. “This dinner is on me. I had no intention of asking you to pay.”

I looked at the meal and replied, “But this is going to cost you a fortune.”

“Phil,” he said. “I haven’t been out in years. All I do is sit at home and watch television. The small price I’ll have to pay for your company is well worth it.”

I wanted to cry. I was thinking the same thing when I tried to call Colin. I wanted to show Gary how much I appreciated the pleasure of dining out with him.

“Then,” I insisted, “the next dinner will be on me.”

“Okay,” smiled Gary. “I’ll hold you to it. At least I’ll be able to see you again.”

I hated to admit it to myself, but I was becoming comfortable with Gary. The fact that we had known each other years ago made it easier. I always felt that after Dwight died, I would never find another man. I never wanted another man. However, with Gary it seemed different. There was no sexual attraction. Gary admitted that he couldn’t perform sexually. And it had been years since I even gave sex a thought. I had spent years in a sexually satisfying relationship with Dwight. Sex was something I never considered anymore.

Looking across the table at Gary, I knew that we complimented each other as friends. That friendship could bridge the gap of loneliness that we each felt.

Gary paid for the meal, and he left our server a generous tip. He tried to cover the receipt with his hand, but I managed to get a quick peek. I couldn’t believe how much a meal now cost. It was twice what Dwight and I used to pay.

When we got in the car, it was still rather early. It was just about a little past seven. I didn’t want to go back to the center. I enjoyed being out. It gave me a sense of freedom I hadn’t felt in a year. I asked Gary if we could just drive around town.

“Where to?” asked Gary as we drove out of the parking lot.

“I don’t know,” I replied. I did know where I wanted him to take me, but I was afraid to ask. I wanted to drive past my home. However, it had been almost a year since I was last there. I thought the sight of seeing it might be too emotional for me. As we drove down several blocks, I finally got up the nerve to ask him to take me to my old neighborhood.

He didn’t hesitate when I asked. In fact, I think he was expecting me to want to visit my home. We were there in about ten minutes. My heart began pounding when we turned onto the street where I lived. As we drove up the incline leading to my home, I could see it in the distance. It didn’t appear any different than when I left. The yard was meticulous. It appeared that more shrubbery had been added around the house, and a young maple tree had been planted by the driveway.

As we got closer, I noticed a car parked in the driveway. It appeared to be Colin’s. He and Jason must be inside checking it out like I had asked him to do.

“Whose car is that?” asked Gary. I told him I believed that Colin and Jason were there. He drove up the sloping driveway and parked behind Colin’s car. Colin and Jason exited the front door with wide smiles.

“Hi, Phil,” said Colin cheerfully. “We weren’t expecting you.”

I grinned and replied, “I had to come by and make sure you didn’t soil the sheets.” Gary began laughing uproariously as Colin’s face reddened.

Jason laughed and said, “We changed the sheets. The ones with cum stains are in the washer.”

“Jason!” shrieked Colin. “They are not!” I looked over at Gary as he watched Jason put his arms around Colin and kiss him on his cheek. “Not funny,” said Colin with a frown. When Jason kissed him again, he started giggling.

I got out of the car, and Gary helped me into the wheelchair. I looked at Colin, and he raised an eyebrow. “How do things look,” I asked.

Colin grinned and replied, “Pretty good, I see.”

“No,” I smiled. “I meant how does the house look?”

“It’s in good shape,” he replied. “A little dust here and there, but not too bad.”

Jason walked up behind me and took the wheelchair handles. “Would you like to take a look?” He pulled me toward the back door. “You can’t enter the front, but I believe we can get you through the mother-in-law suite.”

I had to hold back tears as I entered the house. Even though I had never spent a night in the suite, I looked around to see if I could stay here. It was much larger than the room I had at the nursing center. It had a small living area with an adjoining kitchen with a small table and chair. Dwight had thought ahead in case his mother might become unable to walk in her later years. He had handicap bars installed in the bathroom. To the right was a wide door leading to the bedroom. It had a queen-sized bed, two dressers, a recliner and a large screen television on the wall. I thought, ‘It is perfect for me.’

Jason wheeled me into the main quarters. Everything seemed the same as the day I had my stroke. I looked at the spot on the kitchen floor where I had fallen. Fortunately, I had my phone on me, so I was able to call the help.

Colin and Jason looked around in amazement. Gary had been in my home several times, so he wasn’t amazed at the size. “You lived here?” asked Jason, He then let out a low whistle. “It’s so…so… big. My little apartment would fit in your living room.

I laughed and replied, “My husband, Dwight, designed the home. He always liked things big.”

Gary giggled and said, “Then why did he end up with you?” Colin and Jason laughed as my face reddened.

Finally, I replied, “He never had any complaints.”

“I’m sure he didn’t,” giggled Gary. “Come on, I want to see the rest. It’s been a while since I was here last. Does that big pool still work?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “It’s been drained for years.”

Jason said in awe, “It’s like an oasis back there. Colin and I would have gone swimming if there was water in it.”

“When I get home,” I said without thinking, “I’ll have the pool filled, and you and Colin can come over anytime to use it.”

Jason asked, “You’re planning on returning here?” They all stood and stared at me.

“I want to,” I replied as I looked at Colin. “I’m going to ask Susan and Stanley to move in with me. That is, if she will.”

“Who is Susan?” asked Gary. I explained that she is my nurse. I briefly told him about the problem she was having with Stanley and her husband.

Gary patted me on my shoulder. “You never change, Phil. Always thinking about others.”

“I’m thinking about myself too,” I replied. “I’ll never be able to live by myself. I’d rather live here with Susan and Stanley than stay in a nursing home.

Gary asked, “Can you afford it?” I looked at Colin when he grabbed his mouth and started laughing.

“Yes, Gary,” I can.

Gary winked and added, “Maybe I can move in with you.”

“Maybe,” I replied. Colin grabbed the handles to my wheelchair, and we headed to the back patio. It was beautiful. The landscapers had done an excellent job of making it look like a tropical forest. The patio furniture had been stored, so there was no place for the others to sit. I pointed at a retaining wall and told them to sit.

“What do you think, Colin?” I asked. “Do you think that Mike can arrange things for me to return?” I looked over at Jason. “Am I strong enough to live independently?”

“I don’t see why not, Phil,” he responded thoughtfully. “I can come by in the evenings so you can continue your therapy.”

“Only if I can pay you,” I insisted. “I’m not going to be a charity case.” Jason smiled and nodded his head.

Colin continued, “Susan and Stanley can help you take care of this big place.” I smiled and nodded. “However, I’m concerned about you living alone in the suite. What if you fell again and no one would know. You really should have someone around at all times.”

I laughed and joked, “I can buy one of those things you wear around your neck. If I fall, I can press it and holler, ‘Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!’”

Colin furrowed his eyebrows and said, “Not funny, Phil.”

“Okay,” I apologized. “I’ll be okay.” I looked at Jason and asked, “Do you see any problem with me living by myself?”

He shrugged his shoulders and said, “If you take it easy and don’t try to do anything you shouldn’t, you should be okay.”

I giggled and stuck my tongue out at Colin. “See.” He rolled his eyes.

Gary said, “I’m serious, Phil. I can move in with you, if you want. I’ve been living alone in my house for years. I’ve been thinking about selling it and moving into a small apartment. I’ll gladly pay to rent out a room here. I won’t be by myself.”

“No,” I said sharply. “You won’t pay me a penny to stay here.”

A huge smile lit up Gary’s face. “You mean you want me to stay with you?”

I returned his smile and replied, “Maybe. Neither of us is getting any younger. It could be a solution for both of us.” I grinned and added, “Just don’t think you’re going to take advantage of me.”

“Honey,” laughed Gary. “That ship sailed years ago.” Everyone started laughing.

We sat and admired the lush greenery surrounding the pool. Jason said he couldn’t wait until the pool was open so he could swim. I laughed and said, “I only allow skinny dipping.”

Jason laughed and responded, “I’m game. I don’t have anything to be ashamed of.”

Colin turned a bright red when I looked over at him and replied, “That’s what I heard.” I then turned to Gary and pointed my fingers eight inches apart.

“Damn!” giggled Gary as he looked admiringly at Jason.

Colin shouted, “Enough! Jason and I aren’t going to skinny dip.” A slight smile formed on his lips. “At least not when you two dirty old men can watch us.”

“Damn,” exclaimed Gary.

“Colin,” I said seriously. “I have another request.” He nodded his head. “Do you think you could set up a meeting with Mike and Allen? I would like to meet my grandson.”

“I don’t see any problem with that,” he replied. “Allen seemed like he would like to meet you, too. I’ll call Mike and arrange something.” I smiled and nodded my head.

I looked at my watch. It was getting late. “I should get back to the center,” I informed Gary. I told Colin to check on getting a service to inspect and clean the house. I also asked him to find a pool company that could get the pool in working order.

Colin said he would get on it in the morning. “Jason and I will remain behind, and I’ll take a few notes.”

As Gary wheeled me away, I hollered out, “Don’t stain the sheets!” I was afraid that Gary was going to push my wheelchair into some shrubbery because he was laughing so hard.

On the way back to the center, Gary asked if I was serious about him moving into my home. “I never really thought about living with another man after Dwight. It will be strange to have someone else in the house. But we’ve known each other for years. I think we’ll be perfect roommates.”

“Yeah,” smiled Gary, “Roommates. I like the sound of that. Two old queens living together. Which one of us does the cooking?”

“You, of course,” I replied with a smile. “This old queen doesn’t cook for anyone.”

Gary asked, “I have only one question. Do you have somewhere I can do my pottery? I don’t want to give that up. I do most of my work from home.”

“Sure,” I said. “Dwight had a workspace in the garage. I’ll see if Colin can find someone who can turn it into a pottery room.”

Tears welled up in Gary’s eyes. “If you weren’t such an ugly old queen,” he said jokingly, “I might just kiss you.”

“You wish,” I said with a smile.

Gary helped me out of the car and into my wheelchair. I wanted to walk; however, it was late, and I was exhausted. After helping me into bed, Gary said goodbye and left. My aide came in and gave me my evening meds. After she left, I turned out the light and looked out the window. I expected someone to appear, but no one did. No one was left. My past was now just that, my past.

I have a new future ahead of me. I thought about my stroke and how that may have been a blessing. If not for it, I would be living a lonely existence. I would probably just be waiting to die.

Now, I can see tomorrow. I am going to return to my home, but with friends. The house will again echo with the sounds of laughter and joy. If things turn out well with Stanley, he will bring a youthful vibe into the house. That is something that Dwight and I missed. We had once talked about adopting children, but we never did. I always thought it would be hypocritical to take in someone else’s child while I had abandoned my own.

I am determined to rectify the mistakes I have made in the past. I want my meeting with Allen to go well. It is too late to change my relationship with Roger. However, Allen will give me a new beginning. There is also Derek, his son, my great grandson. He should be about eleven or twelve. I want to provide for him everything I didn’t give Roger.

Before turning out the light and going to sleep, I looked out the window. Looking back was a man with his arm around a young boy. He was the same boy I had seen earlier in the window. With tears rolling down my cheeks, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Thanks for reading!