Sold Into Freedom - 21. Chapter 21

Matthew looked at the date squares, tempted to try one. Man, they look fantastic. They'll be even better with some of that vanilla ice cream.

"Don’t you dare, Mattie, you’ll spoil your dinner!" Gwen turned from the stove to look at her son. She smiled broadly. "Okay, everything is ready. Once Andrew arrives, we can talk for a little while and then start the veggies and potatoes. I think everything is under control."

"Yeah, Mom, I think you’re right."

Gwen stepped toward her son and put her arms around him. "Thank you for doing so much of it. It really helped me, and I feel like everything will go perfectly."

"You’re welcome. I’m sure it will be a great evening." Matthew kissed his mother’s cheek.

"I’m going to go and change now."

"Okay, Mom. I’ll do the same." He released the hug and started toward his room. "It smells wonderful in here by the way!"

"Thanks." Gwen was still smiling as she went to her room. She'd chosen to wear comfortable slacks and a pretty blouse. Deciding on the right outfit had taken an entire afternoon. I don’t want to look like some desperate middle-aged woman in teenage clothes.

⸛ 

In his hotel room, Andrew was dressed and ready to go. He double-checked that he had the gifts Maeve had made and the shawl he'd brought for Matt's mother. The author called home earlier that day to check in with Maeve and also spoke to his parents.

"All is well back home." Andrew swiped to open his phone. "I’ll give Matthew a heads-up and then grab a cab to his mom’s place. I'll take a taxi over there, but walk back, I think." He patted his belly. "I can use the exercise. Let’s hope for a good evening."

After picking up his bag and rechecking the room, Andrew left, ensuring the door closed behind him.

⸛

Matthew scanned the text he'd received and then slipped his phone back into his pocket. "Andy’s on the way, Mom."

Gwen fanned herself with her hand. "Oh, okay. Do I look all right? Does the house? Yes, yes, I think so." The nervous woman turned to her son. "Mattie. Is everything looking okay to you?"

"Yes, Mom." The young man walked over to his frantic parent. "Calm down. I promise you, the house, and especially you, look perfect. Andy is the most down-to-earth person you’ll ever meet."

"Oh, thank you." Gwen stopped her pacing and took in a deep breath. "I’m sorry. I’m just being silly."

"No, you just want things to be right and they are." Matthew reached out to hug his mom. "We’ll have a nice evening."

Gwen smiled. "Yes, we will." She bent slightly to look out the front window. "Is that his cab? Is he here?"

Before Matthew could answer, there was a knock at the door. He grinned. "Yep, I guess he is." Matt walked over to the door and opened it.

Gwen hung back a little.

"Come in, Andy." Matthew swung the door open and stepped back to allow the author inside. He closed the door.

"Thanks." Andrew smiled broadly at Matthew while he stood in the small entranceway. "Oh man, something smells amazing in here." He shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to Matt. He held onto the plastic carrier bag he’d brought with him.

Matthew grinned at his friend. "Andrew MacCabe, this is my mother, Gwen Foster. Mom, this is Andy."

"Hello, Mr. MacCabe. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Mattie’s told me a lot about you." Words tumbled out of Gwen, who smiled happily and shook Andrew’s hand.

"The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for inviting me." Andrew smiled and said, "Please call me Andy."

"Please come in and sit down." Gwen led the way to the small living room. "Mr. MacCabe…Andy, would you like something to drink? I made a batch of Belmont Jewel. It’s a nice cocktail. Basically, bourbon, lemonade, and pomegranate."

"Yes, please. That sounds wonderful." Andy sat on the sofa. He gazed around the small but comfortable living space while he waited.

Matthew hovered near the kitchen in case his mom needed him. "Weather stayed nice today. What did you do?"

"I took a nice long walk early and returned to the hotel for breakfast. I decided to take a little nap, and once I woke up, I had some emails to look at and did a bit of writing. I kept busy."

"That’s good. Sounds like a nice day."

Gwen returned carrying a tray with three glasses filled with ice. In a glass jug, the cocktail was a soft pink.

"Here, Mom, let me help." Matthew took the tray and put it on the coffee table for her. "There we are."

"Thanks, baby. I’ll pour." Once each lowball glass was full, a slice of lemon garnish would finish the presentation.

"Here you are. I hope you like it." Gwen placed the beverage on the small table to Andrew’s left.

Matthew stood with Gwen with his drink and made a toast. "To good friends and good food. Cheers."

"Cheers!" Everyone sipped.

"Wow, that is nice, Gwen." Andy smiled and took another sip. "I’ll remember this when I next have guests round."

"Thank you. I'm glad you like it." Gwen smiled, put her drink down, and perched in the armchair across from her guest. I better not drink too much. "Is this your first trip to Atlantic City, Andy?"

"Yes, it is, actually," said the writer. "The closest I’ve been before is New York City on book tours."

"Your last book was the one about human trafficking, right?"

"Yes, that’s right."

Gwen eyed her drink but didn’t pick it up.

Matthew moved to sit on the opposite end of the sofa from Andy.

Gwen smiled. "I haven’t read that one as of yet. I’m sorry. I’m not really sure it’s my sort of thing."

"No need to apologize, Gwen. I understand. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea." Andy pulled the bag he’d placed at his feet closer. "It’s very presumptuous of me, but I brought you a copy which I’ve signed for you."

Gwen gasped, and her hands flew to her mouth. "Oh, wow, thank you."

Andy got to his feet and handed her the book. "Please don’t feel you have to read it," he said.

"Oh, thank you, that's so kind of you, Andy. My goodness." Gwen opened the book to read the inscription: To Gwen, thank you for your hospitality and for reading my other works. With much appreciation, Andrew MacCabe. "Oh, this is kind of you. Thank you."

Gwen clutched the book to her chest and hugged it.

Matthew sat quietly, smiling at his mom’s happiness.

"It’s my pleasure, Gwen." Andy returned to the bag. "This is also for you. It’s Harris Tweed and should keep you warm when it’s chilly."

Gwen received the wrapped gift and carefully removed the paper. "This is so nice of you." She held up the beautiful item, finely woven in muted shades of mustard, teal, and raspberry.

Andy smiled. "My housekeeper helped me choose it. It’s the Stornoway Check Tartan. Maeve said it would be a good option because of all the colours."

"Oh, my, it is beautiful. I love it." Gwen wrapped the soft woolen shawl around herself and glanced at Matthew.

"It looks great on you, Mom."

"Andy, you’re so kind, and please thank Maeve for me as well." Gwen pulled the garment more tightly around herself.

"It’s our pleasure, Gwen." Andy reached into the bag once again. "Maeve sent some fudge for you both." Snapping his fingers, he pulled another box out. "Oh! And shortbread too." He placed the boxes on the coffee table in front of him. "Hopefully, both survived the trip."

Matthew had moved slightly closer. "Oh, that’s what I’m looking forward to!" He grinned.

"Mattie! After dinner. Speaking of which, honey, can you please start the potatoes?"

"Sure, Mom." Mattie got up. "Excuse me for a few minutes, Andy."

Andrew gazed upward at his friend. "Of course."

The meal and dessert had been a success. The happy company left the small dining area to the living room, where they sipped a small brandy nightcap. After an hour more of laughter and talk, Andrew reluctantly decided to call it a night and return to the hotel.

"Thank you very much, Gwen. The food was perfect, and so was the company." Andrew hugged his hostess. "Thank you again for your hospitality."

"It was so nice to meet you, Andy. I appreciate the lovely gifts and your coming over." Gwen couldn’t stop smiling. She was proud of how her meal had turned out and that she hadn’t had too much to drink.

"Goodnight and thank you again, Gwen." Andy pulled on his jacket.

Matthew grabbed his coat and said, "I’ll walk you back to the hotel."

"Okay."

The two men walked down the front steps, turned to wave to Gwen, and then strolled down the street.

"So, your week is nearly over," Matthew spoke softly.

"It is." Andy shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

"Is there anything else you’d like to see in the last couple of days?"

Andy stopped. "Yes. There is."

Matthew also pulled up. He smiled. "What?"

"You, Matt. I’d like to see you." Andrew stared into Matthew’s eyes. "It’s why I came here. I wanted to see you. See if there was—"

"Was what?" Matthew felt his throat tighten. Fear gripped him, but it also surprised him. Fear of what?

"If we have a connection. Is there anything between us?" Andy looked away and stared at a nearby house. "I've missed you. I know we didn't have a lot of time on the island, but I felt something."

Matthew sighed. "I dream about you. Well, I think it’s you. I don’t know who else it could be. You’ve been good to me. Generous and so kind when I arrived on the island."

"So, that’s all."

Matt bit his lip. "I don’t think…"

"Okay, Matt. I get it." Andrew spoke softly, desperately trying to hide his disappointment. "Friends then."

"I…I don’t know." Matthew reached and gripped Andrew’s arm. "Maybe that’s all I have right now."

"It's okay, Matt. Let's call it a night. You don't have to walk me back. I know the way. Let's say goodnight and just leave things as they are. It's been a great evening. I don't want to spoil it." Andrew smiled, but he didn't feel it in his heart.

"I’m sorry."

"No, please don’t be." Andrew patted Matthew’s shoulder. "It’s me and it’s fine. I promise. Let’s meet tomorrow for a walk or something. What do you think?"

"Okay, if you’re sure."

"I am." Andrew offered a wisp of a smile. "Call me when you get up." He placed a hand on Matt’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thanks again for a great night." After a final nod, the author turned and walked away.

Fear and hopelessness swept over Matthew as he watched Andy leave. His stomach twisted, and he wrapped his arms around himself. This is not right. This was supposed to be good. The confused young man turned and walked the few steps back home. My home? This is Mom’s home. Where am I supposed to be? Where am I supposed to go? The familiar feeling of not belonging filled Matt.

Inside, Gwen stood at the sink. She hummed happily as she washed dishes. When the front door opened, she quickly dried her hands and went to look. What is going on? She watched her son close and lock the door. He removed his shoes and went to his room.

Gwen was about to call him but thought better of it. Whatever it is, I don't think it's good. Frowning, she returned to finish cleaning her kitchen.

In his room, Matt sat on the bed near the bedside table. He pulled the little drawer open and pulled out his notebook. After taking a pencil from the drawer, he opened the notebook, smoothed the page, and began to write.

 ⸛

Back in the hotel, Andrew stopped at the bar. He drank a couple of drinks in quick succession. After giving him the third, the bartender asked, "Are you okay, sir?" He made a big deal of wiping down the bar in Andy's vicinity. "You know what they say?"

Andy gazed at the bartender. "No. What do they say?"

"They say bartenders are good listeners. We learn to be." The young man grinned.

"Yeah?" Andrew sipped the third drink. "So, you wanna hear my long and sad tale of woe?"

"Only if you want to tell it."

Andrew laughed. "You just want me to slow down my drinking."

"I’m Jack," said the bartender. He started to wipe the gleaming wood once again. "I think you’d enjoy your evening more if you took a bit more time with your drinks. Of course, I can’t tell you what to do."

Andrew squinted at Jack. "That’s a veiled threat."

"What? I’d never threaten anyone." Jack grinned. "But yes, I guess you’re right. I can cut you off. Rather not go down that road though."

"Well, I appreciate that. I’ll behave. I’m Andrew, Andy."

"Nice to meet you. You staying here?"

"Yeah, for a couple more days. Then I’m going back home."

"Scotland, right?" Jack noticed a patron indicating she’d like the bartender’s attention. "Excuse me just a moment, Andy."

"Right, and sure, I’ll be here." Andrew smiled and sipped his drink.

"What can I get you, ma’am?" Jack walked down the bar to the waiting customer.

What are you doing, Andy? Whoever said drowning your sorrows was right to a point. But this pain relief is very temporary. Drinking will not change things. It won't make Matt see things differently. All it will do is make me suffer more tomorrow. Andrew sighed and sipped from the half-empty glass. This is my last one. I'll go upstairs and go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll regret this, and I'll regret pushing Matthew. Too late, I regret that now.

"So, are you gonna want another one of those, Andy?" Jack returned and went back to polishing the bar top.

"No, thank you. I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea."

Jack stopped and looked around him. "Well, booze dulls the senses. It helps with the pain, but not for long. It brings its own pain and whatever it was that pointed you to the bottle is still unresolved."

"That’s for sure." Andy lifted the glass and swallowed the remaining contents. "And that’s why I’m done. I’ll go up to my room and go to bed."

"Sounds like a good idea."

Andrew eyed the bartender. "Thanks for saying something. You made me reconsider."

"I’m glad. I hope whatever the problem is…well, I hope it gets better."

"Thanks. To be honest, it’s out of my hands. It was never my choice." Andrew slid off the chair and stood up. "Time will tell. Goodnight, Jack." Andrew smiled and reached out to shake hands with the bartender.

Jack did the same, and they shook. "All the best, Andy. Goodnight."

After departing the elevator, Andrew walked down the hall to his room. He unlocked the door and stepped inside. The author stood still and stared ahead as the automatic closer did its job silently until the final click. "How could I have so royally fucked this up?"

Andy walked to the bed and folded down the quilt and top sheet. He then pulled off his shoes. His clothes were left in a pile on the other bed.

"I’m on the drunk side." The author laughed a little as he slid into bed, and the room gave a quick spin before righting itself. "Is that a relative of the Dark Side? Come to the Drunk Side, Luke."

"I'm sitting here talking to myself aloud, which is bad, I think." Andy lay back, hands behind his head. "Thursday tomorrow. There are only a couple more days to try and figure this out. But something tells me nothing will be different when I leave." Matthew is not ready for the more I want.

Reaching over, Andy turned off the light. He pulled the covers up and over his shoulders. And I can’t change that. I can’t make it happen or change how he feels. So, we’ll have some fun together as friends over the next couple of days, and then I'll go home. I need to write and get on with life as best as possible.

⸛

The following days flew by. The two men ate, bowled, saw a film, checked several historic sites, and took Gwen out for lunch on Saturday.

"Well, that was delicious." Gwen smiled at Andy. "Thank you for inviting me. I enjoyed it. I’m delighted you were able to come over and visit us."

"I am too, Gwen. Thank you for your hospitality as well. It was great to meet you and see your hometown." Andy smiled. "I hope you’ll decide to visit Scotland one day. We’d be happy to have you."

Gwen smiled at Matt. "Did you hear that, Mattie? That would be wonderful to see all those castles and things."

"Yeah, Mom, it would. You'd enjoy it. There's a lot to see." The visions of Windy Island swam in Matthew's mind. The dream had now lasted longer, and if he stopped for long enough while awake, the island would also appear in his daydreams. "Maybe you should plan to go."

Andrew noticed his friend had not said we.

"Okay, have a safe trip back, Andrew. I better get a move on; my shift starts soon." Gwen got to her feet. She held out her hand as Andy rose too. They shook hands. "Take care," she said.

"Thanks, Gwen. You do the same. All the best."

With that, Gwen bent to kiss Matthew's cheek and said goodbye to him. She hurried away.

Andy looked at Matthew. He’s been so quiet. "Matt, are you okay?"

"I feel like this wasn’t what you wanted…this trip." Matthew’s voice was a whisper.

Andrew sat back and sighed. "I'll be honest. I'd hoped for a different outcome. Or, at the very least, something to show me there was more between us."

"I’m sorry you wasted your time." Matthew's shoulders slumped as he flattened his palms on the table.

"It wasn’t a waste." Andrew reached across the table and grasped Matt’s forearm. "I’ve had a great time. I’m glad we had the chance to spend some real time together."

"What happened to me…and Ahmet. I’m trying to get past all of that and him. It’s hard, Andy. It’s so hard. One minute, I feel like I'm so close, and then the next, it's like I'm back at the beginning." Matt's eyes were moist as he continued, "I know I feel close to you and Windy Island, but it's a million miles away. But it's been in my dreams nearly every night since I left there."

"You mentioned unfinished business."

"That’s how it feels. And when I wake up, and it’s still fresh, I feel like I could turn over and you’d be there. And you’d make it all okay."

Andrew watched a tear run down Matthew’s cheek. "Matt—"

"No, please don't say anything." The young, tortured man swiped at the tear. "I want that. But now-here, I can't even let you touch me."

After withdrawing his hand, Andy said, "Maybe this was too soon. I’m sorry. I’m putting a lot of pressure on you that you don’t need right now."

"I’m sorry."

"Please, don’t be. Don’t be sorry. Maybe you need more time." Andrew squeezed Matt’s arm and then released him. "You’ve been through so much. I think it’s safe to say we like each other and enjoy spending time together. That’s a good thing."

"Yeah."

"Then this visit was worthwhile. It answered some questions for us, right?" Andrew scrabbled, trying to stop the threatening negative spiral that loomed over the conversation. "The best thing is we're friends, and that's a good place to be."

Hope tickled in Matthew’s brain. "So, do you still want to stay in touch?"

"Yes, very much. Let’s keep talking." Andrew smiled at his friend. "I need to reduce the pressure and expectations. One day at a time, Matt."

"I think some time will be good for both of us."

"I think you're right." Andrew's smile was genuine—the first heartfelt one for a while. "I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should plan a road trip together, somewhere neither of us has been. What do you think?"

Matthew was quiet for a moment while he considered the idea. He grinned before he said, "You know, that sounds awesome. Let’s think about where we could go. It will be a little while before I can get off work again. But we could decide and then save and figure out the details."

"Great, that’s our project then while we’re apart."

Matt checked his watch. "You should think about heading out."

"Yeah. It’s a drive, but that’s okay. I’ve enjoyed this week, Matt. Thank you." Andrew leaned forward. "I care about you, Matt. If you need help or anything at all, you can come to me, okay? There are no strings attached. We’re friends if nothing else, and that’s important to me."

"Thank you, and I mean it, Andy."

"Good. Well, I best go and get my things and be on my way." Andrew stood. He pulled out his wallet and withdrew several bills to leave on the table.

Matthew rose also. "Let me help."

"Thanks, but it's probably best to say goodbye here. It’s easier that way."

"Okay." Matt started to extend his hand, then changed his mind and gave Andy a brief hug. "Thank you…for everything."

"It’s been my pleasure." Andy stepped back to give Matt his personal space. "Please think about that road trip, okay? Email me your thoughts."

"I will." Matthew felt a lump in his throat. "Bye, Andy."

"Speak soon, Matt." Andy left the restaurant and walked the block to the hotel. As he walked, he opened his phone and pulled up the app. Using it, he arranged to have his rental car brought up.

Several hours later, he sat on the jet, ready for the return flight home. As the plane left the earth Andrew wondered if he'd ever see Matthew again.

****