The Last Unicorns - 1. Chapter 1

No one could deny the view was incredible: Snow-capped mountains to the east and the endless expanse of the Pacific to the west. John Reynolds admired the vista before him and hoped his replacement would appreciate it. So many hours of his life had been spent accomplishing great things. He was going to miss it.

A sharp rap of knuckles on the door jamb interrupted his rumination. Turning, he smiled as his cohort in life crossed the threshold.

“Are you going to stare out the window all day or would you kindly haul your ass down to the shindig Kelly spent a thousand hours planning?”

“Shut it.” John flipped Rick the bird. “Like you don’t have mixed feelings about all this.”

Rick strode across the plush carpet. His silent footsteps carried him forward until he invaded John’s personal space. Strong arms wrapped themselves around John’s waist as he settled himself into an embrace that was much needed. John inhaled the familiar aroma of bergamot, sandalwood, and the unique scent that belonged only to Rick.

“I do have mixed feelings. I love my job and the people I work with, but I love you more, and it’s time to focus on us. It’s time for you to stop crunching numbers and for me to stop pimping myself out to bring in new clients.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Was that in the job description for your replacement?”

‘Yes, it was. Needed–one highly motivated individual to sell their soul and whatever else it takes to bring in multi-million-dollar accounts. You will be rewarded with pats on the back and, if you’re lucky, a blowjob from the CFO.”

Laughing, John pulled Rick closer and kissed his cheek. “You’re lucky those blowjobs were a unique perk that only applied to your contract.”

Rick leaned back and gave him a proper kiss, then said, “I hope I can negotiate them into my new contract.”

“Mmm, I think we can work out a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

“Good. Now let’s get going. Kelly will kill me if I don’t get you downstairs in the next five minutes.”

John groaned. “Do we have to do this?”

“Yes. It’s not every day that the CFO and CEO of a Fortune 500 company retire together so they can ride off into the sunset and travel the world for their enjoyment instead of pampering business clients.”

Knowing Rick was right, John glanced out the window again then took his husband’s hand and allowed himself to be led through the ornate outer reception area for the executive offices.

His and Rick’s retirement had been a long time in the making. Six years ago, when they turned fifty, they realized they didn’t want to work themselves into the ground for another fifteen years. They never had kids; instead, they had invested wisely and managed to build a solid financial portfolio.

John was a numbers guy. Once the decision was made, it was easy for him to expand and diversify their investments to ensure they would be able to retire comfortably. As it stood, the profits from their investments now netted them more income than their generous salaries. They didn’t live ostentatiously but instead lived modestly and would continue to do so. The one exception to their lifestyle would be a generous yearly travel budget.

During their careers, they had ample opportunities to travel the world. However, sightseeing was often limited to a few hours or maybe a day if they were lucky. Both had places they would love to return to and explore more in-depth.

The executive offices took up the entire sixtieth floor. It was a short elevator ride down ten floors to the event center. The large space hosted the company’s annual gala for its clients, which had grown from a small appreciation dinner for less than two hundred to a major shindig hosting nearly fifteen hundred at last count. If the company expanded according to plan, it would need to relocate to a larger venue.

As the soft whoosh of the elevator stopped, Rick reached up and adjusted the bow tie of John’s tux. Smiling, he returned the favor. They were the epitome of a successful power couple as they exited the lift and stepped into what was affectionately known as the holding cell. The only access to this foyer was from the executive offices, and it allowed the highest-ranking employees and the owner to make a grand entrance into the event center.

William Knowles stood at the window overlooking Seattle’s skyline. The Space Needle provided a beautiful backdrop as the sun dipped below the horizon. The owner of Knowles Initiative Marketing Solutions, better known as KIMS, turned to greet them.

“Hello, boys. You look like you’re ready to take on the world.”

John reached out to shake the man’s hand but instead was pulled into a hug. Rick was drawn in too. They had worked together for thirty-five years. William was only a few years older and didn’t seem to be in any hurry to hand the reins of his company over to his sons, Devin, Kade, and Joel, who were more than capable of handling the company. It wouldn’t be long, though. Devin would be stepping into John’s shoes as CFO, and Rick had been mentoring Kade for the past two years, grooming him to take his place. As the eldest, Joel had already taken over many of his father’s duties. The next generation was poised to take the company into a new era.

“We’re going to do our damnedest,” Rick replied, grinning from ear to ear.

One of the double doors leading into the event center opened, and a petite redhead stuck her head in. “Oh good! You’re here. Are you ready for your grand entrance?”

Rick chuckled. “As ready as we’ll ever be. Take it away, Maestro!”

Kelly, the redhead, motioned to William. He would be giving the introductions. The older man winked before going to join Kelly. She opened the door enough for him to step past her. A few seconds later, applause broke out as he stepped up to the podium on the front stage. John and Rick listened as their boss and friend started touting accolades.

“Good evening, everyone. Thank you so much for coming. As much as I love these gatherings where we can celebrate our colleagues’ accomplishments, I’m sad that we are losing two men who have become family to me. I’ve known John and Rick since the very beginning when I started this company almost thirty-six years ago. They were fresh-faced college graduates with nothing more than a piece of paper saying they graduated and an incredible drive to make a difference.”

Several people whooped from the audience.

“Yes. Boy, what a difference they made. John and Rick started at the very bottom, and with grit and determination, over the years, they proved they had what it takes to help make KIMS the success it is today. I am eternally grateful for their hard work and dedication. Without further ado, I’d like to introduce tonight’s honorees, John and Rick Reynolds.”

Kelly threw open the double doors, and Rick grasped John’s hand as they stepped into the spotlight to the sound of thunderous applause. Most of the company’s six hundred Seattle employees and their significant others were in attendance, along with close to three hundred from their satellite offices. The turnout was humbling for both men.

William shook their hands, then stepped aside to allow them access to the microphone. Rick gave John a nod and shifted over to allow his husband to speak first. Although their positions in the company held the same status, John was more gregarious and more comfortable giving speeches.

He approached the microphone and waited for the applause to die down. Rick stood to his right and placed a hand on his husband’s lower back in solidarity.

John cleared his throat. “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Rick and I are genuinely awed that so many of you chose to be here. It’s been our privilege to have been a part of KIMS since its inception all those years ago. We’ve seen many people come and go, but what has impressed me the most, is the number of you who have joined our ranks and stayed because this is a company that you believe is worth staying for.”

Another round of wall-shaking applause broke out. Several moments passed before it hushed.

“That right there, my friends, is why Rick and I consider you family. We’ve been honored to work with William to bring KIMS from this little start-up marketing and advertising company to one of the most successful businesses of its kind. Each and every one of you has contributed to that success and I can’t express our thanks enough. Now, I know you don’t want to listen to me ramble on all night. I’m sure you’re hungry, and let’s face it–many of you are here for the free food.”

Laughter rippled through the venue.

“We won’t let you starve. Besides, Kelly would hand our butts to us in a sling if I don’t shut up soon. She has more speech time built into tonight’s agenda, but first, let’s enjoy an amazing dinner.”

During the meal, a huge screen dropped over the stage, and a slide show of photos documented John and Rick’s careers. Damn, they were so young when they started. Rick was baby-faced and looked twelve instead of twenty-one. John fared better and appeared at least eighteen.

They gradually aged as each photo progressed. Shots of them at their desks, in meetings, and heads together during long-ass strategy sessions slowly rolled past. There were plenty of pictures from all the corporate team-building weekends. John winced when he saw the one of his terrified face as he clutched the railing of the platform he’d jumped from when he idiotically agreed to bungee jump if his team met their fourth-quarter goal in 2002.

In contrast, there was a photo of Rick with a shit-eating grin on his face the moment before he jumped out of a plane because he lost a bet to another employee. His attraction to an adrenaline rush never ceased to amaze John.

When she saw that John and Rick were finished with dessert, Kelly beckoned them up to stand at the podium with her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please continue to enjoy your coffee and dessert while I get on with our program. First of all, it’s been an honor and privilege to work with these two men. Rick and John hired me twenty years ago as an assistant marketing developer. It quickly became apparent that I was out of my depth. Instead of firing me as they should have, Rick and John brought me into a meeting with Mr. Knowles. I was scared to death, but it turned out to be the best work-related conversation I’ve ever had. Rick pointed out that I sucked in marketing.”

Kelly looked at Rick as the audience laughed. “But he didn’t make me feel bad about it, because he also told me he admired the way I worked with people. He explained that they were considering creating an event planning department. In fifteen years, the company had grown to the point where it made sense to hold events to promote not only itself but employee development. John didn’t ask me if I thought I could do the job. He told me I could do the job. I didn’t want to update my resume, so I agreed, even though I was skeptical. When Mr. Knowles agreed with them, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let them down. They were right. John and Rick saw something in me other than a mousy, little recent college grad trying to fake her way through a job she had no business doing. I found my calling thanks to them, and that’s why I put this together. Please listen to what all of you had to say.”

What followed could only be described as a tear-inducing praise fest. Kelly recorded dozens of employees giving a short statement about the men they were honoring. The common theme was how down-to-earth and nice they were. The accolades were genuine. From the newest intern to William Knowles himself, so many employees were grateful to have worked with them.

The department heads banded together to present John and Rick with their retirement gift. The men had specified they didn’t want any presents so instead, the managers from every division decided to create a college scholarship program for employees’ children. Every applicant would receive one thousand dollars for every semester they maintained a 2.0 GPA average or better. Mr. Knowles gave his blessing the moment they approached him with it.

“Wow!” John exclaimed as they were presented with a gilded sign bearing his and Rick’s name that would hang in the main lobby. Each year, a plaque with that year’s recipients would be hung below it. “We’re blown away by this gesture. It’s absolutely perfect. Thank you so much.”

Rick leaned in and added his thanks. His voice cracked with emotion. “This means so much to us. I hope everyone with kids going to college will take advantage of this scholarship. It would mean the world to us.”

Once again, applause threatened to weaken the building's foundation. As it died down, the men started to leave the stage.

“Uh-uh. Not so fast, you two.” Kelly stopped them from going any further. “There’s one more thing that needs doing.”

John’s heart plummeted to his stomach as he watched her drag a tattered box to center stage. No. It couldn’t be. She wouldn’t do this to them at their retirement celebration. Rick’s eyes widened, and he tried to step back. Looking over his shoulder, William Knowles grinned evilly and nudged both of them toward Kelly and her evil box. The crowd began to murmur as they realized what was happening.

“Oh, shit,” John muttered as Kelly opened the flaps of the well-worn box.

“That’s not the first phrase that came to my mind,” Rick quipped, trying to duck to the side. William blocked his way.

Kelly reached into the box and drew out two unicorn headbands that had seen better days. She presented them with a flourish. Those at the tables closest to the stage started giggling.

“Now wait a minute!” John protested. “This is retirement, not a promotion.”

Kelly wagged her finger back and forth, making the faded glittery streamers hanging from the headband in her right hand sway as if they were buffeted by a light breeze. “Nice try. Retirement is the ultimate promotion. It’s what we’re all striving for.”

“Shouldn’t Devin and Kade be doing this?” Rick asked.

Kelly patted his cheek. “They’ll have their turn. Right now, this is about the two of you. Suck it up, you’ve got a job to finish.”

William stepped up to the microphone. “For those of you who aren’t familiar with what’s about to happen, let me enlighten you.”

John sighed, and Rick’s shoulders slumped as they accepted the inevitable. At least it would be over soon, and it was all in good fun.

“As you know,” William continued. “These two men were part of the original team I hired when I started this company thirty-five years ago. Most of those first employees moved on, but there is still a small group that has been here since day one. I’m not sure exactly how or why the tradition started, but I know who was responsible. Her name was Jessica, and she was my first administrative assistant. I’m sure many of you remember her, as she was here until she retired about ten years ago.

“Now, Jessica loved three things: her family, her job, and unicorns. Her office was bedecked with the creatures. I had to build a case for her to display them. She threatened to quit if I didn’t. I was afraid to lose her, so I agreed. Anyway, she adored incorporating unicorns into any holiday she could. One year the Christmas tree was decked out in nothing but unicorn ornaments. Forget the Easter bunny, she had an easter unicorn. St. Patrick’s Day would bring unicorns with green manes and tails and a shamrock painted on their ass.”

The crowd laughed.

“You get the picture. Well, in the early days, we didn’t have all of the departments and divisions that we have now. That came gradually. Each time we created a new division or department, I tried to promote internally. Jessica got it into her head that every promotion needed a unicorn celebration. It started with the headbands Kelly has.”

Kelly held up the ancient items. Even though they were over thirty years old, they had been well taken care of. They were identical. The headband itself was rainbow-striped. The horns were now off-white as opposed to the snow-white they once were. Glittery silver foil strands hung from the base of the horn, creating a magical mane for the wearer. She reached into the box and pulled out two white belts. Attached to the back of them was a bundle of more glittery foil strands that would make the tail once it was buckled around the wearer’s waist.

Rick hid his face in his hands. John could only shake his head. Both were remembering the previous occasions when they had to don the ridiculous getup.

“As the years passed,” William continued. “Each department created its own tradition regarding promotions and how to celebrate them. Those of us who were here from the beginning, regardless of which department they were promoted in, got the unicorn headbands. Not only do the proud recipients get to don the beautiful accessories.” William beckoned John and Rick over so Kelly could help them transform into unicorns. “They also get to sing a song.”

The crowd roared its approval.

“I can’t wait for him to retire,” Rick muttered as Kelly adjusted the headband. He cinched the white belt with a tug and shook his ass to make the foil strands sway.

When they met Kelly’s approval, she spun them around to face the audience. Shouts and wolf whistles filled the air. William handed them a piece of paper with the lyrics. Gradually, the noise settled down as everyone waited for them to start. Jokingly, Kelly blew an old-fashioned tuning whistle.

The guys took a deep breath and sang:

“I’m a promotion unicorn,

Dancing with my magic horn.

Climbing over everyone,

In my quest to get it done.

Squashing rivals like a bug,

All while giving them a hug.

I’ll run them over with my car,

Knowing that I’m getting far.

“Cuz I’m a promotion unicorn,

Dancing with my magic horn.

Pushing my way to the top,

No one can ever make me stop.

I’ll steal the glory and the praise,

A corner office and a raise.

Move on over, it’s your loss,

Now you get to call me boss.

“I’m the promotion unicorn,

Dancing with my magic horn!”

The crowd was on their feet as the song came to an end. John looked at Rick and then busted out laughing. Of all the silly traditions, this was one they would never forget. It was an honor to be the last unicorns of the careers.