Escaping the Pain - 21. Chapter 21

Dane jerked when a large heavy hand came down on his shoulder. He whipped his body around and lunged at the blurry figure of a man, unable to see clearly through the tears filling his eyes.

"Easy son, easy," The man said. Dane paused, he knew that voice but it took him a minute to place it. The deputy! The older one, that’s it. Dane stood there panting as the deputy held him by the shoulders, "It's okay, you're safe." He waved two paramedics into the room and they rushed over to the two fallen bodies on the floor.

The female paramedic reached for her microphone and spoke quietly, "We're going to need another ambulance here, but call the coroner first."

Dane cried out and fought to get to Tap. Deputy McDiffey folded him into his arms and hugged him tight from behind. "No son, it's not for him. Calm down! It's not for him!"

The paramedic kneeling next to Tap was quickly cutting off his shirt, exposing his bloody chest and the shockingly small hole high in his left shoulder. There was a lot of blood for such a deceptively small looking wound. He rapidly assessed him and called over to his partner who was slowly assessing the other man, "I'm going to put on a pressure dressing and then we need to get him on the backboard and out of here. I can't find an exit wound."

"Got it," the woman said, rushing outside for the backboard and the gurney. Dane stood still, as they worked quickly. He barely registered the deputy moving back as Charlie came over and quickly supported him. Dane clutched the strong arms across his stomach and cried helplessly when he saw the horrible wound on Tap’s chest

"Tap, oh god!" a man's voice called out, his voice panicked. "No, that's my son in there, I know it is, let me in!"

Tap's father ran into the living room, looking at everyone wildly. He cried out when he saw Tap lying on the ground. Deputy Jolston barely managed to hold him back.

"Sir! He's alive but the paramedics are trying to work. Let them get him ready to go to the hospital, don't get in their way. He needs their help!" He fought to restrain the struggling man.

Dane's renewed sobbing got louder as he saw the anguish on Patrick's face. He looked away from Tap’s dad; sure he would hate him now. His entire body was limp in Charlie’s arms as he cried. The sound finally got through to Patrick as he watched the shallow rise and fall of his son's chest.

"Dane!" He jerked away from Deputy Jolston and reached for Dane who flinched back against Charlie.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Dane whispered in a hoarse voice. "It's my fault, I failed. I tried to get him to shoot me but it didn’t work, I'm sorry." He brought his hands up to his face to hide his eyes, weeping into his hands covered with the blood of his love.

"Oh no, son, no." Patrick pulled Dane away from Charlie and cradled him gently in his arms "Shhh... you didn't do this." He rocked Dane and cried with him. "You don't say sorry for this," he said fiercely, tipping Dane's head back to look in his eyes. "I don't blame you, do you understand? And neither would Tap."

Dane nodded and buried his face in Patrick's chest. He had been so afraid as soon as he saw Mr. Leeran that he would blame him for Tap’s injury. The shock that he didn’t blame him as much as Dane blamed himself was almost as hard to handle. The two remained locked together while the paramedics worked quickly to stabilize Tap and get him ready for transport.

"We need you to come with us," the female paramedic told Patrick. "The hospital is going to need you to fill out the medical forms and you should stay with him."

"Dane," Patrick said, rubbing the slender shoulders that still shook, "I have to go with Tap now."

"Go? You're going to leave me here?" Dane started breathing in shallow pants. He looked at Tap strapped to the white gurney stained with red smears and then back to Patrick's worried face. Patrick pulled back and Dane looked so frightened standing alone with his arms wrapped around himself that Charlie rushed back over.

"I'll take you Dane; we'll follow right behind the ambulance. I already gave the deputies my statement and you need to be checked out. They agreed to come to the hospital later to get your statement." Charlie pulled the resisting teen away from Patrick. "C'mon Dane, let go. I'll take you to my car. We'll follow Tap."

Patrick followed the paramedics with the gurney out of the apartment and Charlie and Dane trailed behind them. There were several police officers on the scene taking pictures and many of the neighbors had gathered in the parking lot and were craning to see what was happening but Dane didn't see any of that. He kept seeing the moment Tap fell over and over even as Charlie maneuvered him into the front seat and secured his seat belt. He stared straight forward and didn't say a word as they followed the ambulance all the way to the hospital.

**  **  **  **  **  **  **  

Charlie made Dane wait in the car until he grabbed a wheelchair from the emergency entrance. Veronica, Tap’s cousin, was working the nurse's desk in admitting and her eyes were red as she stared down the hall toward the surgical wing. Charlie wheeled Dane over to the desk, worried by his continued silence.

"Did they take Tap back already?" Charlie asked.

"Yes," Veronica looked over at him and then down to Dane. He had Tap's blood all over him. "Oh god, were you hurt too?" she cried, rushing around the counter. She grabbed a pair of gloves from the box on the counter, tugging them on.

Dane looked at her dully, "It's not my blood," he said before looking down at his red stained hands.

She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and checked his pulse. Contrary to his sluggish response and movements his heartbeat was hammering and his skin was clammy. She reached over the counter and grabbed the bicep cuff and wrapped it around his arm, rapidly pumping it up and listening intently as she bled off the pressure. She looked up at Charlie.

"He's in shock. Let's get him back to a bed and lay him down." She led Charlie over to an open bed and Charlie hoisted Dane to his feet and got him settled on the bed.

She called over to another nurse walking past, "Cherie, could you warm up some blankets please?" She pulled the sheet and blanket out of a drawer under the nearby table and laid them over Dane who shivered as the cold cloth slid across his body. She pulled out an IV kit and bustled around the bed. She looked less stricken then when they entered, her job keeping her focused from her worry about Tap. Dane had no such distraction and in his mind he just kept seeing Tap fall and the blood blooming on his chest. He didn't even feel the brief sting of the needle sliding into his arm.

His eyes stared down the hall much as Tap's had when he had waited for news of Dane after the car accident. Dane waited silently, ignoring the talk between Charlie and Veronica. The warm blankets and the fluids began to stabilize his body but his mind... that was fixated on the last sight he had of Tap being loaded in the ambulance, white bandages and red blood in shocking contrast as he lay bloody and unconscious.

It was at least a half hour of tension as they waited for news, any news at all. His eyes snapped to Patrick when he came stumbling out of the hall. Veronica rushed over and hugged him. Closing his eyes Patrick rested his chin on her head, rubbing her back. He said a few words tiredly and she rushed back over to the desk and picked up the phone.

Patrick spotted Charlie where he stood next to Dane's bed and he walked unsteadily toward them. Charlie pressed him down into the plastic chair next to the bed. Patrick was shaking now, the effort of holding together too much for him now that he had the space and time to let go.

"They said the bullet ping ponged around inside him. The bullet missed his heart but damaged a lot of the vessels and nicked his left lung. They have to try and take it out; it's just too close to his heart. They didn't tell me more. He's going to surgery now but the doctor said he's lost a lot of blood," Patrick said, his voice broken and barely above a whisper.

Dane's eyes shined with unshed tears and while he didn’t say anything his left arm slid across the bed, reaching for Patrick silently. Charlie breathed a sigh of relief at the movement, it wasn't much but it was better than Dane's previous near catatonia. Patrick took the beseeching hand and they clung together, both silently watching the hall.

Keri came running in about twenty minutes after Veronica had called her. She rushed over to Patrick, crying as she fell into his outstretched arm to weep against his strong shoulder. Dane kept a firm grip on his right hand. They waited there, Dane and Patrick, Keri and Charlie. Brett came in still dressed in his work clothes and he fell into his mother’s arms. Tammy came in minutes after, supported by her husband, just a month from her due date.

They all spoke quietly, touching each other and drawing comfort as they waited. Dane looked at each of them when they hugged him but he couldn't say a word. His entire self was wrapped up in that big body, lying helpless on a steel table as doctors worked to fix the damage his father had caused. Even if Tap survived what would he say? Would he want to be with the son of the man who tried to kill him? Dane waited, his hand gripping Patrick's the only comfort he would allow.

The surgery took hours while the family waited. A doctor had come over to check on Dane, making noises about him needing additional x-rays on his breaks but agreed to wait when Keri stepped in. The deputies, McDiffey and Jolston, came to the hospital looking very tired. They tried to talk to Dane but they might as well not have even been there for all the attention he would give them. They spoke again to Charlie but he couldn't tell them more than he had before. Dane wasn't talking and the only thing anyone could do was wait.

The whole family took in a deep breath when a doctor in a white coat and a nurse in scrubs came walking out of the hallway. They walked toward the large group, the doctor's face serious. It wasn't the comforting face of the familiar Dr. Wickels, the surgeon was a woman. Her nametag read Sarah Fosget.

"Are you the Leeran family?" she asked.

"Yes," Patrick said as he stood up and put his free arm around his wife's shoulders. She held him around his waist with both arms. Patrick's fingers were red where Dane's hand gripped his, their knuckles both white with the strain.

"I'm Dr. Fosget. Your son is out of surgery. There was pretty wide spread damage in his chest cavity but we repaired all the minor damage and managed to close the hole in his lung. He was a very lucky young man," she said. "That bullet could have caused a lot more harm than it did. He's got a slight concussion and he's going to need a blood transfusion. We plan to keep him for a few days observation to make sure he doesn't develop an infection but then he should be able to go home and finish recovering there."

There were smiles and tears all through the group as Patrick and Keri fervently thanked the doctor that had saved their son's life. Dane cut through all the noise with a single question.

"When can I see him?" Dane's face was stony with none of the relief the other faces showed.

The surgeon took in his appearance and then looked at Patrick. At his nod she looked back to Dane. "I would like you to get cleaned up and let the other doctor look at you before you see him. Everyone who goes into his room needs to make sure they are not sick and wash their hands. He should be in recovery now but it might take a while before the anesthesia fully wears off. You can see him after they transfer him to his room."

Dane was rigid, barely able to wait but he forced himself to nod. He needed to get to Tap but he knew from his last stay that the doctors wouldn't take no for an answer. Maybe not right now-but never no. He barely stood all the tests, shrugging when the doctor told him how lucky he was to not have re-broken his leg. He was ordered to stay off it for a few days and given new crutches since one of his old ones were now evidence.

While they waited for a nurse to bring him some towels to clean up with and some scrubs to wear the deputies took the time to get Dane’s statement since he was talking again. More worried about their son now Patrick and Keri walked slowly toward the recovery room to see Tap.

"Tell us what happened," McDiffey asked quietly, his notepad held ready.

"We came home early from the game and we were going to... uh, I mean Tap was going to take a shower." Dane blushed and then continued, his hands clenched in his blankets. "Tap went into the bedroom. I was in the kitchen. My dad came out and threatened to kill us, saying a lot of stuff about the money my mom had and how we were..." Dane winced and whispered, "dirty faggots.

"He hit Tap a few times and I knew I had to give Tap a chance to get away so I tried to get him to point the gun at me instead. It worked, sort of. Then the gun went off and I don't know... I just hit him. I was so angry he hurt Tap; I thought he killed him. I wanted to hurt him back. Then I heard shouting and another gunshot. When I looked up Charlie was there, a gun in his hand."

Dane looked at Charlie, a frown on his face, "You're a nurse. Why did you have a gun?"

Charlie looked embarrassed, "I didn't really lie to you. I am a nurse, or at least a paramedic. Well, I used to be. It got a bit boring so I started training to be a police officer. I'll be done soon; I'm just waiting for a class to go through the Academy so I can join."

"But... why? Wait. Does that mean Mr. Echels hired you as a... a bodyguard? Did he know what you are?" Dane asked.

"Yes, of course he knew. He was worried about you after your father left his office. My grandfather used to deal with some very lowlife scum types. He can smell a criminal a mile off."

Dane's mouth dropped open, "Your grandfather?"

Charlie chuckled, "Yep. Gotta love the wily old man. I'd trust him if I were you. He's always done right by my brother and me. Especially when our mother ran off and left us with him and Grans. Apparently she and our dad were a lot more alike than she wanted to admit."

Dane just shook his head, "This is just too much." His free hand came up to rub at his forehead.

"It's okay son," McDiffey said, putting his pad the breast pocket of his shirt. "We have what we need. Someone will be in touch in a day or two, okay?"

Dane nodded, his eyes still closed.

"I'm going to have to head home now, Dane," Charlie said. "I'll call Grandpa when I get home. Give Tap a hug from me." Dane nodded again but kept his eyes closed; He didn't open them until the nurse arrived with his towels and pulled the curtain around the bed. Tammy and Brett both went back with the nurse for a quick visit while Dane cleaned up.

Finally it was his turn. He was rolled back to Tap's room just across the hall from his room during his hospital stay. Brett was just turning away when Dane came in. He had tears on his cheeks but he smiled. Dane looked at him to avoid looking at his boyfriend lying in the bed.

"He fell back asleep a bit ago," Brett said. He paused by Dane's wheelchair and impulsively leaned down to hug him. "I'm glad you're okay too." he said quietly. Giving him an extra squeeze he stood back up and left the room, leaving Dane to watch him leave with a puzzled look on his face. Dane looked down at his lap, biting at his bottom lip and twisting his hands in the blanket they had put over his lap. He sat and listened to the various machines in the quiet of the room, biting his lip until it started bleeding.

There was a change in the beeping noise in the room. Dane's head shot up. The first thing he saw was Tap's large feet hanging off the end of the bed. Running his eyes up Tap's body he flinched at the large white bandage on his chest where the sheet had slipped down. Finally he looked at Tap's face looking into his eyes. They were dark with pain and the drugs dripping into his arm through the IV.

Tap stretched out his hand, "Hey," he said.

Dane's lips quivered and he took in a shuddering breath, "Hey," he said back. He stared at Tap, lost in the memory of him falling to the floor after he was shot. He didn't even feel the tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Shh, s'okay," Tap murmured, "C'mere." His hand was still stretched out toward Dane. Dane leaned forward and their hands folded together. Dane's breath caught when Tap squeezed his hand hard and smiled; unable to hold it in any longer he leaned down and put his forehead on their linked fingers and sobbed. His slender shoulders shook with the force of his shuddering breaths.

Tap reached over carefully with his free hand and laid it on Dane's head, running his hand through the silky black locks. He made a few shushing noises and then just let Dane get it out. Gradually his cries slowed and he sat there hiccupping and sniffling. Tap rubbed his neck.

"Look at me," Tap said.

Dane looked up. The pale skin around his eyes was red and his cheeks were still wet. His free hand came up and wiped at the tears on his face.

Tap looked at his body closely, "You okay?"

"Me?" Dane asked. His eyes were wide and his mouth dropped open.

"Yeah, you."

"Jeezus, Tap. Why are you asking about me? I’m fine! My dad shot you! You could have died because of me. You're lying in that bed because of me!" Dane shuddered, "I could have lost you. I will never be able to forgive myself for you getting hurt because of me."

"It wasn't your fault!" Tap said hoarsely. "I saw what you did, I know what really happened. You tried to get him to shoot you to protect me. You lunged forward and he pointed the gun at you. If I hadn't stepped in front of you he would have shot you in the head." Tap coughed.

Dane stood up, balanced on his good leg. He saw the ice chips sitting in a cup on the side table and handed it to Tap. He took a deep breath after he sat down, "I didn't want you hurt because of my inability to stand up to my dad. I let him hurt me; I couldn't let him hurt you."

"You did stand up to him. You stopped him from killing us both. I'll be okay. Are you going to be okay?" Tap asked after he swallowed.

"I'm fine, I didn't get hurt again," Dane told him.

"Good." Tap handed the ice back to Dane and leaned back against the pillow with a sigh. "I'm tired." His eyes blinked slowly.

"Go to sleep," Dane told him. He laced his fingers in with Tap's and rubbed the back of his hand with his fingertips until he fell asleep. Dane laid his head on the bed next to his thigh and sighed. Closing his eyes he finally relaxed and soon he was snoring gently.

**  **  **  **  **  **  **

After speaking to the doctor again Keri and Patrick went to the cafeteria to get some coffee.

"It was so close, Keri. We almost lost our son," Patrick said quietly, pain lacing his voice.

She put her hand on Patrick's on the table, "But we didn't. He's going to be okay and we don't have to worry about that man anymore."

"But what about next year when he goes away to school? There are bigots everywhere. The boys won't be safe all the time."

"No, you're right," she said. "But we can't wrap him in bubble wrap and put him on a shelf in the closet. He's grown and has to live his life. Dane makes him happy and being together is a big part of their strength; they protect each other from all sorts of harm. At least we know Tap will have someone with him who will always care for him and watch to make sure he stays safe."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Patrick looked frustrated.

"I guess I was lucky, you had to see Tap in that situation, I didn't. This has to be harder for you. I trust that there is still more for our son to do in life and that he will make it there. I worry about him all the time; this is just one more thing I didn't expect to have to deal with. I have to stay positive for him, falling apart won't help any. Besides, I figure this is your turn, you're going to have to be the one to hold my hand when he leaves home for the first time." Keri smiled and leaned over, giving Patrick a brief kiss on the lips.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

**  **  **  **  **  **  **

When they walked back into Tap's room they saw the two boys sleeping quietly. Tap's medicine was wearing off and he was getting a bit restless. The sound of the door closing woke him up and he groaned a bit. That sound was enough to bring Dane's head shooting up off the mattress.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Do you need a nurse?" he asked anxiously.

"I just hurt," Tap coughed. "My throat hurts and I think I need more pain medicine."

Keri walked over to the bed and hit the call button linked to the nurses’ station. She motioned Dane to sit back down in his chair when he stood up to give Tap more ice chips. She scooped up a small spoonful and put it in Tap's mouth. As they started to melt and trickle down his throat he sighed in relief as the scratchy ache was soothed a bit.

A nurse poked her head into the room, "Do you need something?"

Keri looked at her, "Yes, my son needs more pain medicine."

The older nurse walked into the room and her eyes flared when she saw Tap in the bed and Dane in a set of hospital scrubs and sitting in a wheelchair.

"Good heavens, what have you two done to yourselves now? Did you miss us that much?" She smiled at them and then picked up Tap's chart. "Alright big guy. This says you can have more pain medicine; I just need to go grab it. No mischief while I'm gone, you hear?" She shook her finger at them.

"Whatever you say Denise. I know to listen to you. You might have to lay down the law on the big guy here though," Dane said lightly.

Tap grunted, his eyes narrow and frowning at Dane. "Traitor. You're supposed to be on my side."

Denise laughed. "I'll be right back," she said.

Keri and Patrick were smiling at the boys. "Obviously you guys are doing a bit better," Patrick said.

"Yeah," Dane said, "Tap talked some sense into me. I'm still really sorry that my dad shot him though."

Keri walked over to Dane and hugged him, rubbing his back. "You couldn't control him Dane, and it wasn't your job to. You tried to protect Tap and you were willing to risk yourself to do that. You did more than most people would. Thank you." Dane just nodded, overwhelmed as he hugged her back.

Keri stood back up and wiped a hand under her eyes as the nurse came back in carrying a syringe and a small vial. "Here's the fun juice!" she said.

Tap chuckled and then groaned, putting a hand on his chest. "That hurts."

"Well you did just have major surgery, dear. Stop giggling like a school girl," Keri said.

Tap tried to laugh again and groaned instead, "Stop that Mom!"

"Okay, sorry dear." She grinned at him. Tap got his sense of humor from his mother and now that she knew her son was going to be okay she was trying to lighten the atmosphere in the room. Things were going to be okay now..

Denise did a quick vitals check and then injected the medicine into the spare port on Tap's IV. "This is going to hit you pretty quickly. Don't be surprised if you sleep most of the day away."

"Day?" Tap asked.

"Yes, it's 7 am," she said.

Tap looked at the window and the sun was just peeking over the edge of the mountain. "Hmm..." he looked at Dane, "no wonder you look tired. You need to go home and rest."

Dane looked a bit panicked at the thought of going back to the apartment, "I can't go back there. Not now, not alone."

Tap looked startled, "No, I didn't mean there. I meant home, my home."

"Yes Dane," Patrick said, "you can't live on your own right now anyway. The doctor wanted you to take it easy for a few days. You can sleep in Tap's room of course."

Dane looked uncertain, "I don't know."

"We won't take no for an answer Dane. You're part of our family now and you are always welcome to come home anytime." Keri said, ruffling his hair.

Dane looked at Tap, "Is... is that okay?" he asked.

Tap smiled sleepily, "I can't think of a better place for you than in my bed," he said before yawning. His eyes slid halfway shut, "Now I just have to get back in it too." He smiled blissfully at the thought as his eyes slid all the way shut. A moment later he let out a small snore.

Patrick looked over at Denise, "You don't mess around, do you?"

"Nope," she laughed. "I do have another patient to get to though now that I know he's okay. You guys go home and get some rest. I'll be here til 7:00 tonight. I'll watch over him."

"Thank you," Keri said, spontaneously giving her a hug that was returned warmly.

"Let's go get Dane's release paperwork and get him home," Patrick said, pointing his chin at the teenager that was leaning back on the bed with his forehead on Tap’s hand again. "I think someone needs a bed before he gets a crick in his neck."

Dane squeezed Tap's hand and then Patrick pulled his chair out of the room backwards. Dane fixed the image of the small smile on Tap’s face as he rested in his mind to erase the earlier images of Tap hurt. Seeing that look unknotted something deep insde Dane that had been hurting.

“I know he’ll be okay but I can’t wait until I get both of you boys home where you belong.” She rubbed Dane’s arm and he leaned into her as they waited for Patrick to bring around the car. Dane blinked back tears. After his mom died he didn’t think he would ever consider a place home again. He was glad he was wrong.

“Me too,” Dane said.