Indiana Summer - 9. Shattered

Disclaimer: This story includes sexual and romantic situations between consenting individuals. Any allusion to illicit or illegal activity, sexual or otherwise, is used only for enhancement of the story line and not promotion thereof. Remember AIDS, HIV and other STDs are a very real threat, please always practice safe sex.

I can prove copyright on this story so please don't copy or remove this story for personal use without my permission.
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Indiana Summer 09: Shattered

I watched with a guilty smile as David poured another cup of water over his head. With his back to me I had the perfect view of the little trickle of water as it cascaded down between his shoulder blades, mixing sweat, as it traveled down the smooth flesh till it vanished into the now damp waist band of his jeans

"I'm gonna step out to the open air for a sec if you don't mind." David said as he turned to me, lucky for me I looked away before he did or I'd have been caught staring.

"Not a bit, you can go inside if you want to, all that’s left to do is muck out the horse stalls." I said as I grabbed my shovel from by the far stall.

"Nope I just need a breather; I'll be back in five, sooner if I see your dad coming." David said with a slight laugh as he walked out.

I couldn't blame David for needing some air, the humidity had been getting worse since Sunday. I was used to it by now but he was still having trouble with it and since the barn was fairly closed off it made it worse.

Mom had been on high alert the last three days, checking on us ever couple of hours, making sure our cooler never went dry and making sure we both took breathers every now and then.

I finished my water and got to work on the stalls, David could catch up when he got back. As I mucked out the soiled hay I turned my thoughts to something more pleasant, long years of practice may have made me immune to the scent but it was still one of the chores I liked least.

Sunday at the river, that’s what kept coming to mind; specifically the images of David soaked to the bone and breathing heavily from playing around with us. David looked good wet, his short hair plastered down on his head, dripping off his short chest hair, making his skin looked like it was drenched in sweat.

Whenever David would grab me or jump on me I would wish I could have felt his bare skin, instead of feeling it through my shirt. I almost always wore my shirt when I went swimming, usually because Sam and I went with Walker and given the dreams I had had about him in the past I was afraid of what I might feel if Walker got his bare hands on my torso. That was Walker's favorite move, he'd sneak up behind you, grab you around the chest or waist and fall backwards into the water with you.

Now I had a new reason to be afraid, I wasn't worried about getting mushy or sexual feelings from Walker anymore...now I had a giant signpost on my chest, the scar that was left from my most recent cut. Sam knew it was there, but neither Walker nor David did. I didn't want David to see it, didn't want to have to tell him it was thoughts about him that had caused it.

Straightening up after I was done with the stall I let me fingertips wander over the scar, I could feel the overly sensitive little slip through the fabric. I felt it coming this time, and I didn't fight it; I closed my eyes and let the cold wave of shame wash over me.

I should have been strong enough to stop myself, smart enough not to let Dad get to me. I should have clung harder to the lessons Seth taught me before he left; but I wasn't. I let Seth down...I let myself down.

Just as I was drowning I felt a hand on my back, rubbing between my shoulder blades. David was back.

"Penny for your thoughts." David said and I let my hand drop to my side.

"I was thinking...about Seth. Seth was always stronger then I was, physically and mentally. He tried to teach me to be strong too; he said he wouldn't always be here to protect me. I'm afraid...I'm afraid I may have let him down." I forced the words past the lump in my throat.

"Why do you think that? I think he'd be proud of you." David said and I shook my head, he didn't understand.

"I wasn't strong enough to stop on my own, wasn't brave enough to ask for help...it took you coming here to get me on the right track. I couldn't protect myself, I couldn't live up to the lessons he taught me." I stepped away from David's comforting hand; I didn't deserve to be comforted.

"I know that I can't convince you that you're wrong Billy, not again. I know you won't let me. But you'll see it yourself. This is your second chance Billy, you were brave enough to accept my help, and you’re becoming stronger everyday you don't pick up that box. When Seth finds out, he's going to proud of you. Just like I'm proud of you." My breath caught in my chest when David said he was proud of me that little bit of encouragement helped me push away the doubts and the pain.

"Thank you David." I said quietly as I reached for my shovel.

"You're welcome Billy." David said and for a moment his hand was back between my shoulder blades, I could get addicted to that feeling.

                                                                     *      *      *

I sat down on the stairs as I watched Billy go down to collect the horses. I had to keep myself from watching his backside as he walked away; I was having some serious issues with keeping a distance between the two of us.

I cared about Billy, more then I've ever cared about anyone or anything, except for Baxter. A boy's first goldfish is a very important thing though. Now the memory of Baxter had a competitor.

I loved nothing more than listening to Billy talk about his issues as we worked, lay awake in the middle of the night or just walked around the farm. Twisted as it sounds it makes me happy because it means he's working through it, he's getting better.

When we don't talk about his problems he talks about how when he graduates he's going to go to Seth's and work on his ranch and go to school. How he wants to try and take Elder with him when he goes. He talks about being an Uncle and a Godfather to his soon to be niece or nephew, and I can't imagine a better person for either title.

Those are the thoughts I can't afford to have. I jumped into quicksand when I offered to help Billy.

I'll be leaving in a few months, I've got to focus solely on helping him as much as I can before I leave and hope that he maintains when I do...I can't afford to think about the way his shirt clings to his muscles when he sweats, or the way he ran his hands up and down my legs at the river...I can't think about him dreaming about me.

It wouldn't be fair for me to try and get involved with Billy in a sexual or romantic way, not with me leaving. Maybe if we were both local a relationship could be possible but not with me living across the country. Even that gentle kiss that keeps coming to my mind when he's upset would hurt him and I don't want that.

"Penny for your thoughts." Annie's voice cuts into my musings and caused me to jump in surprise.

"There aren't many. I'm just a little tired; this humidity has been sucking the life out of me." I replied as I hinged on a tired smile, which wasn't that hard. I was pretty tired.

"Haven't I told you yet that you can't lie to me? I see the look in your eyes, no there is something in that head of yours that you're not saying." Annie said as she walked behind me and sat down on the porch swing.

"You're not going to try and pry it out of me?" I asked as ten minutes go by without her saying anything.

"Nope, I'm not one to pry. I figure if it's something drastic you'll either break or force my hand." Annie said as she got up and walked into the house and I had to smile, she'd let me stew, women here are evil.

Speak of the devil, I saw Samantha walking up the driveway.

"Billy's down getting the horses if you're looking for him." I said as with a smile, I promised to be nice after all.

"I'm not. I want to talk to you, walk with me." Sam said as she grabbed my arm and drug me off the porch steps and toward the driveway.

"What the hell is going on here Sam, you know killing me violates the peace treaty, I've got witnesses." I laughed, but Sam didn't...she didn't respond at all, that worried me.

"Look just shut up and walk, I don't want Billy to see us together." Sam said and yanked on my arm, hard. I thought for such a small girl she wouldn't be that strong... I was wrong.

"I should tell you, I'm not interested in whirl wind summer romance." I said and Sam snorted in disgust but just kept dragging me toward the trees at the edge of the farm.

"Look don't make me kill you, I could get away with it." Sam said and the note in her voice did wonders.

"Okay, okay what do you want?" I asked and Sam took a deep breath, she was steeling herself for something.

"I wanted to talk to you about something that you said at the river, you mentioned something about gay guys...I was wondering if you knew any...back in California?" Sam asked and I wasn't sure how I felt about that question...I had to admit it had me somewhat worried.

"OK...lets back up for a sec. Why do you want to know?" I asked, evasiveness wasn't my strong suit but I needed to know what she was getting at before I gave anything up.

"Because I do." Sam said stubbornly.

"No dice Sam, you've got to give it to get it with me. Give me at least your reason, if not the whole situation, or I walk." I said and Sam looked as though she could slap me.

"OK, first of all let me go on record as saying that I am NOT prejudiced and I'm not trying to be stereotypical, I'm just curious about a few things." Sam said as her pale cheeks flushed a bit.

"Let's say I do know my fair share of gay guys back home, what EXACTLY are you looking to find out?" I asked and Sam looked ready to hit me again.

Sam walked away from me and for a second I figured she'd given up but she just sat down on a big rock under a tree.

"I'm...curious...as to how you can tell if a guy is gay. I know there is no big secret, universal sign but I was just wondering if there was anything...aside from something obvious." She said but instead of illuminating anything it just made me more confused.

I decided the best thing was to just...well play along.

"Sometimes you can tell. Usually it's nothing big or anything, and there is almost nothing universal. The way I've always noticed is usually by instinct. The way a guy looked another guy, something in the way he walked or spoke. Nothing effeminate or anything, just something that marked him as...different." I was severely bending the truth.

"Is that all?" Sam asked, looking a little dejected.

"It varies Sam. Why don't you tell me what you're really fishing for and maybe I can help you hook the big one." I said and Sam looked incredulous.

"Did the big bad city boy just use a fishing analogy?" She asked with a sneer.

"Bye Sam." I said as I turned to walk away but Sam was on her feet and grabbed me by the arm.

"Look, I'm sorry, this is a messed up topic for me to be thinking about. More than you can even know." Sam said and I was more than a little shocked to hear the desperation in her voice.

"I can't help you Sam if you're not honest with me." I couldn't help but feel a little over-whelmed by the situation I had gotten myself in.

"You have to swear, on what ever grave you hold sacred, that this stays BETWEEN US, no one else. Understand?" Sam questioned, squeezing my arm tightly.

"I swear, on my own future grave, that I won't say anything. Unless I absolutely need to." I said and Sam nodded reluctantly.

"Its Billy. I know you've not been here long but you've probably noticed that there is something...not really wrong with him but...he has a problem and I don't know what it is. He cuts...and I think he's getting worse." Sam said, it was easy to see she was choosing her words very carefully.

"And you think he's gay?" I asked, trying to look skeptical.

"I don't know, maybe. Billy doesn't get on very well with other guys. I thought at first it was just Andrew Mason and the way he acts around me but I've been thinking about it and the only men he's ever been close to, aside from Seth, are Chris and Walker. He tends to avoid other guys at all costs." Sam said but as she spoke she seemed to loose conviction, I could see why.

"And gay is the first thing you think of? Come on Sam. I haven't even been here a month and I can come up with more logical reasons then that." Sam didn't respond to this. I knew I was being too adamant, too dismissive, after all this was a golden opportunity. I had to feel her out more.

"Say for a second, completely hypothetical, he was gay and that's where his issues stemmed from and you found out. What would you do?" I asked and Sam looked at me with that same calculating expression Annie had used on me...I hope I didn't give away too much.

Sam didn't answer me for a long moment, so long I was starting to worry Billy would get back before she would, that was a situation I didn't want to explain. Sitting in a little clearing with his best friend, who didn't even like me that much.

"I don't have all day Sam, if you're not going to answer me that’s fine, it was a hypothetical question, but I really don't want to be caught here by Billy. So either answer or let me go." I said with a little more force then I intended, but it got my point across. Sam let go of my arm and gave me that wonderful little evil glare of hers; that was the Sam I had come to know.

"Billy's my friend... I'm just worried about him is all and I want to help him. I don't want to see him cut himself any longer. I care about him, he's like a brother to me; he's always been there for me whenever I've needed someone to tell my troubles to." Sam said as she let go of my arm and walked away.

"You're welcome!" I called as she walked off through the trees.

She didn't answer though, not that I expected her to, so I turned around and went to go find Billy, I'm not sure but I think I had good news for him.

                                                                     *      *      *

"Come on Elder, Shadow, Speckle, time to go in." I called as I untied the ropes to the corral and as always Elder herded the others over to me so I could hook them up.

"He's an awful handsome stallion, but then he's not the only one." I froze when I heard Candace's voice.

"He sure is, thanks. You really shouldn't be so close though, Elder isn't really fond of other people." I said as I put my hand on the side of Elder's neck, he was already tensing up.

"Of course, I wouldn't want to upset him." Candace said as she backed away with a smile.

Candace seemed to have a thing for clothing; they were always too small. Her jeans were tight and low cut, as was her midriff top. I'd never been shy around girls before, as a matter of fact if I wanted I could be something of a ladies man, but Candy...I really didn't want to be around her.

"So...what are you up to Candace?" I asked as I slapped Elder slightly on his flank, sending him ahead of me, Candace, and the other horses.

"Oh nothing much, out for a walk, checking out the old stomping grounds. Thought I'd come down and say hello. I really missed you you know, we had some fun times." Candace said with a smile. Despite her warm, inviting tone though her smile as cold.

"I dunno about that Candace, I mean we didn't really hang out much before you left. You did add a real...flavor...to the school though." I was doing my best to be polite.

"Well, maybe we can change that then." Candace said as she stepped in front of me and put her hand on my chest, it took a lot to suppress the shudder she sent through me.

"I...I dunno what you're wanting here Candace...but..." Luckily I was saved the need to formulate a coherent thought by a timely interruption from David.

"Hey Billy, I just wanted to make sure everything was OK...I saw Elder wandering around the barn. I was worried he got away from you." David said as he walked to us, patting my shoulder with just enough force to push me away from Candace's hand.

"No, no problem, I just sent him ahead...Candace stopped by...you know how Elder is with strangers." I said, silently begging David not to leave me alone with her.

"I know all too well what Elder thinks of strangers, I'm not going to forget getting backed against the wall any time soon, he's a scary beast that stallion." David said with a smile as he took hold of Speckle and started to lead him, keeping in step with Candace and me.

I swear I could have kissed him right there, I don't know what it was but something about Candace just rubbed me the wrong way... I didn't like the suggestion in her voice, the insistence of her touch.

Candace didn't say anything as we walked back to the barn and she left as soon as the three of us were inside, thankfully.

As soon as I was sure Candace was gone, without even thinking about it, I tossed my arms around David’s waist and picked him up in a hug.

"God, thank you, THANK you for coming when you did." I said as I stood David back on his feet, I had to laugh at the look of mingled surprise and amusement on his face.

"What, you don't like having Candace look at you like a lion looks at an antelope?" David asked with a smile as I shut Elder in his stall.

"Man...Don’t make me let Elder out. I really don't want to see you cowering against the wall again." I said with a smile and David just shook his head.

"Look, before we go in the house I need to talk to you, you're going to be mad at me, but please don't hit me again." David said with total seriousness in his voice...suddenly I was scared.

"While you were down getting the horses Sam came up here...we got to talking..." David said and launched into an explanation of what they had talked about.

Despite what he said I wasn't mad at him, David was just looking out for me.

"Don't beat yourself up David; I'm not mad at you. What do you think this means...do you think it's safe to tell her?" I asked with a hint of hope, but David shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another.

"I don't know Billy, she sounded sincere but...she didn't really give much away...I WANT to believe what she said...but something doesn't sit right with me. I'm not saying don't do it, but I'm not saying jump into it either...if you decide to though just be prepared for it to go bad." David said as we walked back to the house.

I understood what he was saying, what he meant.

"Do you think we could get more from her? I'd like to be as sure as possible before I say anything." I asked as we walked.

"We could probably do something to feel her out some more." David said as we paused on the steps.

"Let's...let's get something to eat...maybe something will come to one of us." I said and we went inside.

                                                                     *      *      *

For two days both Billy and I wracked our brains for some way of talking to Sam, of getting more information out of her, and we failed miserably. No question or conversation I could think of would work without tipping my hand, without giving away too much.

Billy for his part had seemed to have changed his mind, he looked upon her statement in a more positive light then he had before. I was still worried and thankfully he was listening to me and waiting before he said anything to her.

I got the feeling though that I would have been able to come up with some better ideas had I not had to put up with Candace for the last two days.

Billy may not have come right out and said it but you would think his actions alone would be enough for the damn bimbo to get the hint, he didn't want her around. Yet for the last two days she has shown up and watched as we worked, constantly talking and touching Billy, shamelessly flirting with him.

Today was no different; we were barely in the barn five minutes before she came in, hopped up on the work bench and proceeded to bug the hell out of us. Today we'd be working on the hayloft so I was up there tossing bales down to Billy so that he could stack them up till we were done with our repairs and I was continuously seized with the urge to drop one over the railing onto her poofed up, bleach blonde head.

Candace took any excuse she could to touch Billy too, from running her hand down his arm or across his chest slowly under the pretext of brushing away some dirt or dust or handing him a cup of water and letting her fingertips ghost over his hand as she pulled away.

Under normal circumstances I wouldn't have been so pissed by the way she was acting but it was easy to tell that Billy was uncomfortable with her there and with the attention she was throwing at him. I came close to strangling her on Thursday when she *accidentally* spilled a cup of water on her too small white t-shirt and made such a show of cleaning up, right in front of Billy, then walked around with it soaked the rest of the afternoon, her bright red bra easily visible underneath.

Something else that bugged the hell out me was the fact that Mr. Templeton didn't seem to mind her being there. Whenever he would come in to inspect when she was there she would immediately turn on that overly sweet smile and bat her eyelashes at him and act all innocent and he would lap every bit of it up.

Hell he gave her permission to be there, saying that we could probably use some entertainment while we worked, so long as she didn't get in the way. Billy paled when he said that; he, like me, had been hoping he would tell her to get lost.

What bothered me most of all wasn't he overly sexual advances on Billy, the fact that she had the Old Man wrapped around her little finger, or even the fact that I was sick of tripping over her as we tried to work. No, what really had me pissed was the fact that Billy and I couldn't talk when she was around, not about his issues or anything else for that matter; Billy was just too self-conscious around her and kept all clammed up when she was around.

I was really missing our conversations.

"Hey Candy, will you do me a favor?" Billy asked after I tossed the last bale down to him and came down the ladder, I was surprised to hear him call her that, he had been calling her Candace.

"Of course Billy, anything you want me to darlin'." She said in this would-be seductive voice, putting a delicate strain on the word *anything*, I wanted to vomit.

"It's awfully hot today, would you go down and check on the horses for me, make sure they still have plenty of water, just don't get too close." Billy said with a smile and Candace's own smile faltered for a second before she could recover it.

"Of course darlin', I'll be right back." She said and Billy smiled as she turned and walked away.

Once she was out of the barn door Billy walked over and peaked out before turning back to me, the relieved look on his face said it all.

"I say we lock her and Sam in a room together and just put her out of our misery." I said as I handed Billy a cup of water, he took it with a smile.

"Hell with that, I say we knock her in the head, tie her to a canoe, and send her down the river." Billy shook his head, he was just as sick of her as I was.

"You bring the boat, I'll bring the rope." I said and Billy laughed.

"I'm really sorry about her David. Candace and I barely said two words to each other before she left. I dunno why she's so high on being around me now...I just wish she'd go away." Billy said as he sat down on a hay bale, running his hands nervously up and down his thighs.

"Don't apologize Billy, it's not your fault she's following you around like a dog with a bone." I said with a smile and Billy laughed, he is the first I have ever told that and actually got the joke.

"I'm usually not like this when it comes to being around girls, it's just something about her, the way she talks...how she's always got a hand on me somewhere...from anyone else I could brush it off but her....she just makes it...wrong somehow." Billy said as he looked up at me, the confusion he was feeling was mirrored well on his face.

"I know it Billy, I see how uncomfortable she makes you," I said as I sat down next to him and put my arm across his shoulders. Despite what he was saying about Candy I'd found that Billy was a real tactile kind of guy. A squeeze of the shoulder, a playful slug on the arm, even a slap on the back seemed to make him smile more than with just words, "You should just be honest with her, tell her that having her around is distracting and that you’re not interested in her and her being all touchy feely with you makes you uncomfortable." I squeezed Billy shoulder for good measure as I spoke, and just like I knew he would, he relaxed and gave a sideways smile.

"I know...I should...I'm just worried, Dad gave her free reign to be here and everything." Billy said and that confused look was back on his face.

"Yea I know, that’s got me stumped." I said and Billy nodded his agreement.

"We'd better get back to work; the sooner we're done the sooner we can go in and get rid of Candace." Billy said and I let my arm fall from his shoulder as he stood up and held a hand out to pull me to my feet.

That was something else I'd noticed, Candy never came around the house, never got near anywhere Annie could be.

Billy and I grabbed our hammers and went our way up to the hay loft and started tearing up the floor boards. The cross beams underneath were still in good condition but the floorboards were thinner than they should have been and as such wore out more quickly, becoming flimsy and flexible in places.

This had been the only project Annie fully supported, Billy told me she worried that he might fall through it one of these days.

"Yoo hoo, I'm back. The horses are fine, though you might want to consider covering the troughs at night, just in case; it's looking a little murky." I heard Candace call sweetly as I tore up a floor board with Billy.

"And just who might you be?" I heard Annie's voice and I had to smile, she didn't sound too pleased.

"Goodness, Mrs. Templeton you haven't aged a day. I certainly have though, it's no wonder you don't recognize me. It's me Candace, Candace Murphy." I heard Candace say sweetly, though not as trashy as she used on me and Billy.

"OK, now that I know who you are, why are you here. My boys are trying to work." Annie said, her voice had a hard edge to it that sent a chill up my spine...but that could have been because she called me one of her boys...I liked the sound of that, a lot.

"I, I was just stopping by for a visit Ma'am, Billy and I go way back you see, just thought I'd say hello." Candace said, her voice having become wonderfully meek and a little scared sounding caused me have to bite down on my fist to stifle the laugh. I would have killed to stand up and watch the action but it was too tempting of an idea.

I glanced over at Billy; he was holding his sides and biting his lower lip to stifle laughter.

"Well like I said the boys are working, if you want you can come by later. It's not safe having folks walk around when there is construction going on. You'd better hop on out of here." Annie’s voice making it clear that Candy didn't have a choice.

"Yes Ma'am, sorry Ma'am." Candace said quietly and I heard footstep leaving the barn.

Soon as I figured it was safe I stopped biting my hand and started cracking up, Billy joined me soon after. It shouldn't have been as funny as it was but still neither of us could stop laughing, just the idea of brash, brazen, Candace getting put down by Annie.

"When you two are done cackling I expect you to finish that loft, before I'm calling an ambulance because one of you have fallen through and broken a leg." Annie called out but her stern voice just made us laugh harder.

"Yes Mom." I called out before I froze, all humor suddenly forgotten...I had just called Annie mom...I had meant to say Ma'am, she hated when I did that.

I looked over at Billy, he was till laughing weakly and Annie didn't respond, hopefully laughing while I did it made her think I said something else.

"Come on; let's get busy before she gets back." Billy said once he got himself under control and the two of us went back to work.

                                                                     *      *      *

I was down getting the horses when I heard Sam called my name; I looked over and saw her coming out of the trees near the corral.

"Hey Roses." I called as Sam came closer, for some reason one of my nicknames for her when we were kids came to mind, her hair was red as roses after all.

"Hey there, Violet." Sam said with a smile, she knew I hated it when she called me that...blue eyes, violets are blue...

"You know I hate that nick name right?" I said as Sam hugged me.

"Since when have I ever cared?" She asked with a smile as she pulled away.

"I don't think you ever have to be honest." I said before untying the corral ropes and calling for the horses.

"So how you been doing? We haven't had much of a chance to talk since the barn dance." Sam questioned as I fastened Shadow and Speckle into their bits.

"I'm good, been working my ass off on the barn with David. Waiting on Seth's next letter, I'm hoping it will get here soon." I said but got the distinct feeling that Sam was fishing for something.

"That’s good to hear. I sent him a letter too; he'd better reply to me too if he knows what’s good for him." Sam said and I had to smile at that.

"So, how are you getting along with the City boy?" Sam asked as we walked back to the barn.

"Really good actually. I just had to give him the chance. If you guys could stop sniping at each other you would probably like him too." I said as I shook my head.

"I DO like him, why do you think I'm such a bitch to him. It's out of affection." Sam said, the sarcasm was skillfully down played.

"Whatever you say Sam," I said as we got into the barn, "He's really nice, he's been helping me a lot lately." I said without thinking as I ushered the horses back into their stalls.

"Helping how?" Sam asked quietly and I made a bit of a show of shutting Elder in his stall before I answered...Sam's tone made it clear, she knew what I meant. Pretending I was talking about the construction would be pointless.

"We've been talking, a lot. He...he understands where I'm coming from with all this. He's made me face some things; he's helping me get better." I was trying to pick my words carefully, I didn’t want to give too much away.

"Billy, damn it stop being vague. Either be honest with me or clam back up. Being in between isn't going to work this time." It was hard to place Sam’s tone, it was something like hurt and anger.

I didn't intend on telling Sam so soon...I wanted to take David's advice and get a better grasp of Sam's thoughts, but now it was too later.

I clamped down on the nervousness that threatened to overwhelm me by biting the inside of my lower lip, it wasn't a cut but the pain was enough.

"David told me that you two talked earlier, that you were worried about me...I should have told you this a long time ago Sam, you're my best friend and I hope you won't be mad at me for not doing this sooner. I'm gay Sam.
I've been fighting against it since Seth left, that's why I was cutting. If my dad finds out I'm a dead man Sam so I'm begging you, whatever you're feeling about this please, don't tell him...don't tell anyone...he can't find out while I'm still living here." I was rushing my words a bit to make it easier to say...not that it worked.

Sam didn't say anything... she just looked at me with this stunned look, eyes wide...shinning little tears sparkling around them. I tried to step closer to her but she just backed away, the surprised look still on her face.

Before I could do or say anything Sam turned around and hurried off, not really running, just walking quickly.

That's when everything came crashing down, I felt like acid had been poured into my body as the horrible, bubbling pain erupted in me. I was fucked up, I was wrong, David was wrong. How could either of us be right if Sam walked away?

I wasn't aware of moving at first, it didn't hit me until I found myself standing blankly outside my bedroom door, before I could do anything the door opened on its own, and David was standing behind it.

"Billy what’s wrong?" David asked quietly as he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me inside.

                                                                     *      *      *

Billy's head was on my shoulder crying his eyes out; his arms were wrapped so tightly around my waist that it was painful.

We sat there on my bed, him telling me incoherently between sobs what had happened in the barn with Sam, telling her he was gay and her walking away from him.

I couldn't help the tears that slid down my face as Billy cried.

"This is your fault you damn MORON, you promised him... you promised him it would be OK, swore that things would be OK, convinced him to trust you. THIS is what people get when they trust you, they get SCREWED!

His world is crumbling, he's in more pain than your miserable ass has ever felt and it’s your FAULT!!!!" My own voice screamed at me inside my head.

God this was my fault, I promised him.I was so sure that Sam would be the one, that she'd be my proof. Sam loved Billy, more than anyone else...just like always I followed my instincts and instead of getting screwed I hurtsomeone else I cared about...I hurt Billy.

I didn't deserve to sit here comforting him, not when I was the one who had fucked up his life in the first place.

Billy deserved better, better than Sam, better than his father...better then me.

To be continued......
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I hope you all enjoyed the chapter; I will have more to you soon. As always I love to get your thoughts and opinions so feel free to email me at allenarcane88@yahoo.com, drop me a PM, write me a review or visit the discussion forum.

I read and respond to everything.

Discussion forum link
http://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/26094-indiana-summer/