Indiana Summer

N.O.I read this on the old eFiction site but figured I would start over now that it is here. I think for sure this is your best work. The way it flows is so smooth, the emotions are so tight you can feel them, the dialogue and inner monologues are perfect.I probably won't comment on most of the other chapters but will probably add some here or there as I re-read and see or feel new things. Looking forward to the next chapters. Andy

I have a feeling that Candace's and Billy's fathers have made some sort of arrangement to force the two to get married. Perhaps William's farm is not doing well, and Candace's father is thinking of helping out, assuming the two families merge. Otherwise, can't wait to see what happens next. ^^

On 02/07/2011 09:06 AM, Hermetically Sealed said:

I have a feeling that Candace's and Billy's fathers have made some sort of arrangement to force the two to get married. Perhaps William's farm is not doing well, and Candace's father is thinking of helping out, assuming the two families merge. Otherwise, can't wait to see what happens next. ^^

Hey Hermy (if i can call you that) A sneaky alliance, that is very interesting thought. I wonder if it is true. I hope that you will stick around to find out. Best,NightOwl

I love how much of a difference Billy and Dave make in each others life, the bond between them when they seemed so mismatched at first. (Plus they´re hot when they work together in the barn, all sweaty) And what´s going on between Billy´s Mom and his father? What are his father´s motives for being such an ass?

I loooove this story and need more soon.

Cheers, Clara

Please please don't stop writing this story. I have been an avid reader on gayauthors for years and this is my first review/comment on any story. I see that a few of your other longer stories haven't been finished and the last updates were a few months ago. This story is up there with DomLuka and Philips. I hope to read more from you.

On 02/24/2011 07:42 AM, acht-acht said:

I love how much of a difference Billy and Dave make in each others life, the bond between them when they seemed so mismatched at first. (Plus they´re hot when they work together in the barn, all sweaty) And what´s going on between Billy´s Mom and his father? What are his father´s motives for being such an ass?

I loooove this story and need more soon.

Cheers, Clara

Hey Clara, good to see you again, sorry it has taken so long. I enjoy the difference between the boys as well, I think the odds between them is why they seem to work so well together. (Yea I know I'm the author, I should know all this lol) They are hot when they work in the barn...those are my favorite scenes lol. I can't give you any details on to what William's motives are...you'll have to wait. Best, NightOwl

On 03/02/2011 02:07 PM, readingismytherapy said:

Please please don't stop writing this story. I have been an avid reader on gayauthors for years and this is my first review/comment on any story. I see that a few of your other longer stories haven't been finished and the last updates were a few months ago. This story is up there with DomLuka and Philips. I hope to read more from you.

Hello reading, good to meet you. I have no intention of ending the story...any time soon that is. I am honored that my story is the first that you've reviewed, it means a lot to me. I am sorry that it takes me so long to update, things are a bit...hectic. I thank you for your words, they mean a lot to me. Best,Nightowl

My own personal thoughts are that the old man put Candice up to it promising her something if she could get pregnant with his kid, thus securing (In his dad's messed up mind) the fact that his son might be a "sissy boy" and locking him into a heterosexual lifestyle which I am sure he thought would "cure" him of what he suspects.

 

I think his wife will find out and use it to divorce the pig. Just MY thoughts. But we may NEVER find out from this fantastic author because we are still waiting for another fantastic chapter!

 

lol, just kidding. This author is worth ANY wait.

r

(Some might think I was the pot calling the kettle black, but my stories aren't nearly as good as his. So my own lack of production doesn't count.)

I started reading "Indiana Summer" after work last night and I am now about two thirds through it... staying up way too late! (it is 2:25 am where I live, as I am writing this). I just want to say that this story is among the very best that this site has to offer, and I sincerely hope that you find the time and energy to complete it. Thank you so much for posting it, what I've read so far is an awfully good read.

On 04/01/2011 09:47 AM, ricky said:

My own personal thoughts are that the old man put Candice up to it promising her something if she could get pregnant with his kid, thus securing (In his dad's messed up mind) the fact that his son might be a "sissy boy" and locking him into a heterosexual lifestyle which I am sure he thought would "cure" him of what he suspects.

 

I think his wife will find out and use it to divorce the pig. Just MY thoughts. But we may NEVER find out from this fantastic author because we are still waiting for another fantastic chapter!

 

lol, just kidding. This author is worth ANY wait.

r

(Some might think I was the pot calling the kettle black, but my stories aren't nearly as good as his. So my own lack of production doesn't count.)

Hey ricky, Hmm ricky, quite the investigative mind you've got there my ole' friend. But one wonders if you struck gold or not, you'll have to wait and see. Annie is up to something, not even I am sure what she's got cooking up. I'll give yall a hint though, Old Man templeton will be VERY surprised. I promise to have an update as soon as meingly possible(considering I work more slowly than your average person lol). Best,NightOwl

On 04/16/2011 10:30 AM, Pipo said:

I started reading "Indiana Summer" after work last night and I am now about two thirds through it... staying up way too late! (it is 2:25 am where I live, as I am writing this). I just want to say that this story is among the very best that this site has to offer, and I sincerely hope that you find the time and energy to complete it. Thank you so much for posting it, what I've read so far is an awfully good read.

Hello pipo, good to see you. i am glad that you lik the story and i appologize for being so long in answering your review. I thank you for your kind comments and the story will be continuing as soon as i can. Best,NightOwl

Beautiful chapter Nightowl! I looove this story! I'm so happy David and Billy decided to get together even if David has to leave soon which I hope he won't. Can't wait for the next chapter, I hope we won't have to wait too long

Interesting story with excellent character development. I like where the story is going: you can't help but root for Billy and David. The rotating POV adds interest to the story as a whole.

 

Now for a little criticism: There are more than a few spelling, grammar and syntax errors. These should not be difficult to clean up.

On 06/12/2011 10:00 AM, Anya said:

Beautiful chapter Nightowl! I looove this story! I'm so happy David and Billy decided to get together even if David has to leave soon which I hope he won't. Can't wait for the next chapter, I hope we won't have to wait too long

Hey Anya, happy to see you here. I am glad that you liked the chapter, and the story overall. It was a long time in coming for the two of them but one has to hope they make the most of the time they have together, because no one really knows how long that is. best,Nightowl

On 06/13/2011 08:42 AM, ghrays said:

Interesting story with excellent character development. I like where the story is going: you can't help but root for Billy and David. The rotating POV adds interest to the story as a whole.

 

Now for a little criticism: There are more than a few spelling, grammar and syntax errors. These should not be difficult to clean up.

Hello Ghrays, good to meet you. I'm glad you find the story to be interesting, and I hope you continue to do so. I've read single person POV but I find it's actually easier for me to write in a multiple perspective. Thanks for pointing out my issues. I'm planning to go back over the story soon to remove the issues. best,NightOwl

I read it all with one sitting And My conclusion is... I want next chapter soon!!!!!

 

I hate the visit is coming to an end for David, maybe they will work some kind of plan to be together.

 

I'm a devoted reader, hun. Just keep adding chapters!

On 06/14/2011 05:22 AM, Marzipan said:

I read it all with one sitting And My conclusion is... I want next chapter soon!!!!!

 

I hate the visit is coming to an end for David, maybe they will work some kind of plan to be together.

 

I'm a devoted reader, hun. Just keep adding chapters!

Hey Marzipan, First off sorry that it took me this long to reply, somehow I got lost in the process and forgot I had reviews. It does suck that the 'visit' is coming to a close soon and I do wonder what they will do. I promise to have more chapters up soon. best,Owl

Oh, feck. FECK FECK FECK, feckety feck. I never read incomplete stories and somehow I didn't catch that this one is incomplete. When will it be done? It's one of the best I've read for ages. I don't like where it's headed, though. I have a different outcome in mind. I hope you're just teasin our asses! Quality!

On 08/09/2012 09:41 AM, NotNoNever said:

Oh, feck. FECK FECK FECK, feckety feck. I never read incomplete stories and somehow I didn't catch that this one is incomplete. When will it be done? It's one of the best I've read for ages. I don't like where it's headed, though. I have a different outcome in mind. I hope you're just teasin our asses! Quality!

Hello NotNoNever, it's nice to meet you.

 

First off I want to apologize getting you hooked into a story that's not complete. I actually do feel bad about it, even though I'm very glad that you have enjoyed the story thus far.

 

I am currently working on the newest chapter to the story and it is my sincere hope to have it finished within 5 to 7 days. I've been running into issues with my job and relatives that have thrown off my schedule.

 

I'm curious though as to where you think the story is heading exactly. Everyone seems to have an idea but you've left your idea hanging a bit. I guess turnabout is fair play though huh?

 

I'm very glad and very touched that you think so highly of my work, it stokes the fire on my heals to get a new chapter out.

 

thankyou and best wishes,

Owl

Brilliant. And I can't wait to see all the little hints come to fruition (so far I've come up with at least two for every character mentioned. That family is the exception where the daughter is gone and I regard the sons as a trio...)

 

This story is my first in read that does not claw at my heart as other stories of a similar vein tend to. It is not a roller-coaster, but at the same time the flow is there - rising and falling. My heart still is subject to g-force, but not at the expense of real-event scenarios. As such the way events are smoothed through was expertly handled to great effect. My only snipes would be a lack of gap (or narration) for the camping - it goes from night one to post camping trip - so either a greater break or a greater summarising paragraph for the time in between would make that flow easier. CH17 is a pain as it sounds like an ending. If it wasn't for all the hints at character progression (and thus action) for all the characters I might have not seen the "in progress"...

 

As I said, what you've done with all the characters is brilliant: they each are individuals that don't stick to a clichéd stereotype. Especially when you explain the dual sides to Billy's character [with/out Dad] that his actions are understandable unlike other stories where characters become suddenly bold or irrational. I do expect at least two twists with Sam, one with Annie and one with Billy's father, but as I said, I'm intrigued with what you'd do with the rest and these...

 

I would recommend reading two stories that are similar (I would say a mix, but it is amazing in that it remains unique still) if you would like to gain perspective or inspiration for what I have and am going to say.

 

There are the odd errors - typos really - that a reader can read over logically and [one recommendation is apt for this] I would have liked to seen a bit more description, maybe more variation in the future also. Simply put, running horses encompasses more tasks like cleaning equipment and a little clarification on things (like equipment ["tacks" was the best one you've done in here] or the layout of the place and maybe people) would be better with narration (so it makes decisions or moods or topics more clear). One example is the "I love you" issue as there is no 'repercussions' when they say it after there agreement and there is no reasoning for why the reaction to it after at least two "I love you" moments.

 

To surmise: The shifting points of views are clear but not tidily distinct as you did with Sam, but they work well with only the odd time-jarring issue clouding the form as well. The realism, to reiterate, is phenomenal. If anything, the lack of detail (horse grooming, building work, places, geography) lessens this as you loose that depth, but characterisation is spot on. I can't wait to see what you have in store and I'm happy to talk more about specifics (like the recommendations or other odd moments) if you want.

 

A solid 5 star from me as there is exceptional work here that I have never seen done properly/explicitly like this and you can definitely count on my support ~starts to browse other works by the author~

Fantastic story! Best I ever read on this site (and the level is already high ) Really can't wait for more of this. And a sequel or two... Or three I'm hooked by those two and their lives!

So I spent the last 45 minutes watching those two cutie patooties on that video nikitwinki (probably got the name wrong), put in his/her review. I couldn't get enough of those guys and now I gotta check out his site. What a hunk! lol

 

I have so many things I have to do but I know I'm just going to veg in front of Mark Miller's YouTube channel.

 

Oh yeah, I still have to read the latest Max and Josh. Well, now they're gonna have to wait b/c I'm obsessed with watching Mark Miller. Thanks for that, nikitwinki.

On 09/28/2014 01:40 PM, Lisa said:

So I spent the last 45 minutes watching those two cutie patooties on that video nikitwinki (probably got the name wrong), put in his/her review. I couldn't get enough of those guys and now I gotta check out his site. What a hunk! lol

 

I have so many things I have to do but I know I'm just going to veg in front of Mark Miller's YouTube channel.

 

Oh yeah, I still have to read the latest Max and Josh. Well, now they're gonna have to wait b/c I'm obsessed with watching Mark Miller. Thanks for that, nikitwinki.

hello Lisa, it's good to see you again.

 

I spent quite some time watching those too. They are awfully adorable.

 

best,

Owl

On 07/02/2014 01:49 AM, Pierre Ghislain said:

Fantastic story! Best I ever read on this site (and the level is already high ) Really can't wait for more of this. And a sequel or two... Or three I'm hooked by those two and their lives!

Hello Pierre, good to meet you.

 

I am very glad that you ahve enjoyed my work so much. I promise that there will be more of the story and I hope to see you around for future chapter.

 

I also have some ideas as to what some sequel would be like but no concrete direction just yet.

 

best

Owl

I've read every chapter and I'd really like to see more. I do hope you'll share an ending.

 

I don't actively seek out "beautiful boy teenage love" stories, but I came across yours in the Most Favorited Stories link, started in, and stayed till the end.

 

If nothing else, know that this story is still snagging new readers.

 

In hope of closure,

PBax