Indiana Summer - 13. Puppy love

Disclaimer: This story includes sexual and romantic situations between consenting individuals. Any allusion to illicit or illegal activity, sexual or otherwise, is used only for enhancement of the story line and not promotion thereof. Remember AIDS, HIV and other STDs are a very real threat, please always practice safe sex.

I can prove copyright on this story so please don't copy or remove this story for personal use without my permission.
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Indiana Summer 13: Puppy love

I woke up Saturday morning nestled against a warm, soft; and yet firm…and very alive surface.

I lifted my head off the shoulder I was using as a pillow; it was Billy.

Breathing a sigh of relief and letting my head fall back on his shoulder I let myself remember the night before.

The rain had turned into a wicked thunderstorm. I had been afraid of thunder since I was a little kid.

Most kids are afraid of lightening, but not me. I always thought lightening had a wild sort of beauty to it.

Thunder though was a different story…it scared the hell out of me. Like I told Billy the night before, logically I knew what thunder was but it didn’t matter.
I don’t know if it was the sound alone or the way it just came out of no where and was suddenly all around you…just thinking about it made me shudder.

Without thinking about it I nuzzled closer to Billy’s’ neck. I tightened my arms around him as I inhaled.

He smelled good. Warm and clean with a hint of soap; most of it though was just pure Billy.

This was wrong, and a very bad idea. I knew I should move away and get up but it just felt so good.

We were both sitting against the wall next to the bed and Billy had his arm around me; the weight of his hand on my hip was nice. His other arm was resting palm up on his lap.

“Your breath is tickling my neck.” Billy’s whisper startled me but as I tried to pull away he tightened his hold on me.

“Just five more minutes.” He smiled and against my better judgment I lay my head back on his shoulder.

“Don’t you have to work today?” I asked quietly.

“Nope, Mr. Murphy told me that he could cover things on the weekend so I am free as a bird.” I had my eyes closed but I could hear the smile in his voice.

“That’s good. Walker has something planned for today. He wouldn’t tell me what but he advised us to wear something we could get dirty in.” I nuzzled against him again as I spoke, I could really get used to this.

“Part of me wants to be worried about that…” Billy’s voice trailed off with a sigh.

“And the other part?” I asked as I lifted my head to look at him.

Billy let his hand slide up from my waist to rest on my neck as he turned to face me.

“But the other part, and the one that is winning out, is enjoying this too much to really care about what Walker has planned.” Billy smiled a little as he spoke and before I could stop him he leaned in and kissed me…and without thinking I kissed him back…again.

It was just a soft, gentle brush of lips and it only lasted a few moments or so before my brain turned on and I pulled away.

I stood up and walked over to the window, a huge part of me was happy that he hadn’t tried to stop me…the other part…not so much.

I watched Billy’s reflection in the window as he stood up and walked up behind me.

“Billy look…” I tried to explain but he cut me off.

“No. It's ok, I’m sorry, I overstepped. It won’t happen again. I just got caught up in the moment.” Billy’s voice was low and apologetic, but not sad or hurt.

As I turned to look at him I had to master the urge to hug him.

He looked…fucking adorable standing there. His clothes and hair were rumpled from sleep I could still feel the soft warmth of his neck against my face, remembered the way he smelled. God I wanted him, wanted to forget all the reasons it would be a bad idea and just wrap my arms around him and make him mine.

I didn’t though. I nodded in answer and pushed it all away.

“Thank you for last night. It means a lot to me. It usually doesn’t affect me that bad but the storm woke me up and it got the better of me.” After what had just happened it was lame to thank him but…I didn’t know what to say or do.

Billy smiled at me and shook his head.

“Don’t thank me David; you’ve done so much for me…I’m just glad I was able to do something in return, to be here for you.” Billy was still smiling gently at me and I had to admit I was shocked…he really was making a lot of progress.

“I still appreciate it.” I laid my hand on his shoulder as I spoke, just to let him know that things were cool between us.

“Good, now get dressed, we’ve got more riding lessons to take care of today.” Billy replied as he turned away and headed for his closet.

“Yea, we need to get a hold of Walker too; he didn’t tell me what time this was suppose to happen today.” I said as I walked over to my trunk and dug out some clothes.

“Sounds like a good idea, why don’t you run down and give him a call. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” Billy’s voice was muffled as he rummaged around on the top shelf of his closet.

“On it.” I answered as I pulled on the last of my clothes.

* * *

Once David was out of the room I sat down on my bed and put my head in my hands.

‘Get it though your head you dumb ass…he doesn’t want you…stop throwing yourself at him.’ My own voice whispered in my head; I wondered if it was an improvement that it was my own voice insulting me instead of my dads…

‘I’m not throwing myself at him…I just can’t help it. I love him…I know it's probably just puppy love but still…doesn’t matter. I want him.’ I argued back for a moment before snorting in laughter…I had reached a new level of crazy…arguing with myself.

Pushing away all the confused thoughts and feelings I stood up and looked in the mirror on the inside of the closet door and fixed my hair.

“Suck it up Templeton,” I told my reflection sternly, “You keep on like that and you’re going to screw up a good friendship. It’s just puppy love.”

With that I gave myself a mental smack in the head and finished getting dressed and headed downstairs.

Halfway to the kitchen I ran into David, who was looking a little bemused.

“Damn, sorry bout that Billy, I was on my way back up to our room. I just talked to Walker. We’re supposed to meet him after lunch, bring water, and our swimming trunks.” David said but I was half listening, I got distracted by the surge of warmth I felt when he said ‘our room’.

‘Slip of the tongue Templeton, pay attention.’ I told myself silently.

“Ok NOW I’m worried. What in the world do we need our trunks for?” I asked rhetorically as we walked back into the kitchen, noting mom and dad weren’t there.

“I have no clue.” David said and I shook my head; Walker was planning something.

After a quick breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast I managed to find mom, knitting on the back porch, and told her where we were heading and that we’d be back for lunch. She smiled and gave David and I each a parting a kiss on the cheek before we sat off.

“Now you remember what we did yesterday right?” I asked as we saddled Elder and Shadow. It was cool how well Elder was doing with David, he walked right out of his stall with him standing there and stood right next to him as I saddled him up.

“Yea Billy, I remember it all. Shoulders, back, heels; the whole shebang.” David chanted out as he saddled Shadow.

Once we were outside I led a few laps around the barn before reigning Elder in and waited for David to do the same.

“Alright, yesterday we did a walk, now we’ll move on to cantering. It’s not much different than a walk but it is a little fast and tends to displace you some.” I walked David through the process and soon we were cantering down the corn field toward the pole corral.

David smiled at his success and I had to smile along with him, it was going to be fun when I got him to galloping.

“When do we get to work on galloping?” He asked excitedly, reading my thoughts.

“You need some practice first. Galloping is the most fun, as well as the most dangerous of a horse’s gaits. You’ve got a lot of work to do before we get there but with the way you’re progressing you should be there in a week or so. I’ll have to work on teaching you the two point position. You’ve got to have that down before you can gallop.” I replied with a smile.

David’s smile fell for a second but it quickly came back into play.

“You know what; I think I'm enjoying this. There is something weird about it, peaceful.” He said as he patted Shadow’s side, he seemed more comfortable on Shadow than he had been on Speckle. I wondered about that, Shadow had been Seth’s horse.

As we trotted toward the woods, I figured we’d go back to where we had been the day before, I mentioned it to him.

“You seem more at ease on Shadow than you did Speckle. Shadow used to be Seth’s horse.”

“I dunno…I mean, yesterday I was nervous as hell so it was hard to relax. Today though…I’m still nervous but it’s different, it’s easier for me to relax on Shadow. Plus Shadow seems more at ease too.” David replied in a bemused sort of way.

“You’re a lot like Seth. Calm, composed, a little cocky. Maybe it is a familiarity thing, Shadow remembers Seth so he’s calmer.” I replied and David looked pensive.

“Billy…if I ask you something will you be honest with me?” David asked as he reigned in Shadow, stopping in the middle of the trail.

“Of course David.” I replied, worried about where this was going.

“The other night when I was helping you and your mom with dinner, you guys said having me around was like having Seth back. Do you guys like having me around for me or…or because I’m like Seth?” David’s voice was low and he wouldn’t look at me as he spoke.

I was thrown for a second but then I felt bad…I should have watched what I said. David was a lot like Seth and he did remind me of him…and I’m sure he did the same for mom. I knew enough about David to know he struggled to be accepted for himself, not as what people perceived him. He had created a bad reputation back home and had trouble changing how people thought about him.

“David I admit when we first started getting along with each other it was like having Seth back, and I enjoyed that. But now, and I can only really speak for me, it’s you. I don’t see you as a stand in for my big brother. The way I feel about him and the dynamic of our friendship is wildly different
I like the qualities that you share with Seth but I really like those unique qualities that make you, well, you.” As I spoke I reached out and put my hand on David’s shoulder.

“Thanks Billy…it really means a lot to me to hear that.” David said quietly as he put his hand over mine.

I smiled and nodded slightly and set off again, leaving David to follow me.

* * *

Billy and I were laying by the river when something occurred to me. This time it was my head resting on Billy’s stomach. He was lying beside the water, dangling his hand in the water and Shadow and Elder were close by, relieved of their Tack (a term to cover all horse riding gear that Billy had taught me).

“Billy you never did tell me how your dad got that scar on his arm.” My eyes were still closed but I felt Billy momentarily tense under my head before he relaxed.

“It was a few weeks after we got Elder. You see, Dad wanted him because Elder comes from good stock, he’d be a good breeding and show horse. The problem with Stallions though is that they don’t like to listen, they have to be broke, trained.

Elder was stubborn though, and dad was too, he didn’t want to listen to dad. That made dad mad, which made him mean. I don’t know what he did exactly but he made Elder scared and skittish whenever dad was around.” Billy stopped for a second and I waited patiently for him to continue.

“From the second dad brought him home though I was drawn to him. He was just a foal and I was just a kid. I started sneaking into the barn at night to see him. He didn’t trust me at first, wouldn’t let me close to him; he used to kick the wall so hard that I was scared he’d wake up dad.

I was patient though, I looked up how to actually break a horse and started trying it at night and when Dad was gone and to my surprise it actually worked, it took me a few weeks but Elder responded to me; just not to dad.

One day after school I was down at the corral with Elder and the others, I was leading him around by a lead and halter when dad came home. He saw me…he was pissed. That is the first and only time dad got physical with me.” Billy stopped again and sat up.

Crossing his legs he looked down into the water, absently rubbing his shoulder.

“Dad grabbed me by the shoulder, his grip…it was like getting caught in a vice…he actually bruised me…he was yelling at me. Asking me what I thought I was doing, and if I thought I could do a better job than him maybe I should drop out of school and start running the farm…he just wouldn’t stop.
I started crying…that just made him worse, he raised his hand like he was going to back hand me…that’s when it happened.

Elder suddenly came out of no where, he charged at dad. Elder reared back on his hind legs and dad tossed me away and raised his arm to cover his face and Elder’s hoof raked down his arm as he came down. Dad hit the ground and Elder stood over him…pawing the ground with his hooves.” Billy stopped rubbing his shoulder and closed his eyes.

This was one of the most traumatic experiences Billy had gone through, the fact that he was breaking down wasn’t surprising. I moved behind him and pulled him between my legs and wrapped my arms around his waist. It was a bad idea given what happened that morning but…Billy needed it.

Billy’s breathing eased up a bit and relaxed back into me.

“I grabbed Elder’s lead and pulled him away, he didn’t even fight. Once he was back with me it was like the whole incident had never happened. Dad didn’t see it that way though.

He got up off the ground and went back to the house…and came back with his rifle. Mom and Seth were gone so it was just me and dad.” Billy closed his eyes and put his face in his hands, I held on to him tighter while he got himself under control.

“Dad tried to make me get away from him…but I wouldn’t do it. He kept saying he was dangerous…needed to be put down. It was bullshit…dad was pissed that I had done something he hadn’t been able to, that I got Elder to obey me.

He was too scared to try and pull me away and when I wouldn’t listen…he lifted the gun and pointed it at Elder…and me. Now I know that dad wouldn’t have shot me but…back then…I wasn’t so sure.

I turned away and held Elder’s head and I waited. Everything back then was a storm of chaos; I was still playing my fiddle and taking crap from dad. Seth was talking about going away to school. I was starting to feel confused about sex…I just stood there and waited for it. It never came, I heard dad climb through the ropes and felt his shadow fall over me.” Billy stopped again and raised a hand to his eyes, he was crying.

“What happened next Billy?” I asked, making him laugh bitterly.

“I thought…I thought that maybe dad was going to apologize. That maybe he realized what a bastard he had been and make up for it…he put his hand on the shoulder he hadn’t bruised and told me…He told me if Elder ever got out of my control again he’d shoot him…then he walked away.” Billy finally broke, he brought his knees up to his chest and rested his head against his arms and sobbed quietly.

I tightened my arms around him and let him ride out the pain. Old man Templeton was a sick bastard, the man should have been shot the minute Billy had been born. Save both him and his brother years of pain.

“You never told your mom did you?” I asked, Annie wouldn’t have stayed with William had she known what had happened.

“Yes and no. She knows that I started training Elder behind dad’s back. She knows about the scratch and how he got it, without the bruising part that is. I never told her about him pointing the rifle at me…just that Dad said he would shoot Elder if he got violent again.” Billy spoke quietly.

I nodded but didn’t say anything else; I let Billy soak up the calm around us.

I wasn’t sure how long we sat there until Billy spoke up, saying we needed to get back to the house for lunch.

Once Shadow and Elder were saddled again we set off up the slope, getting to the top before we mounted up. Once Billy was back in Elder's saddle he seemed to relax a little more, seemed to forget what happened down at the river.

Soon we were back at the house and once Elder and Shadow were tucked safely in their stalls we headed inside to eat, finding Annie sitting at the kitchen table pouring over a stack of official looking papers.

“What are you doing mom?” Billy asked as he pulled a jug of tea out the fridge and filled three glasses.

“Oh just going over some old papers, nothing for you to worry about. I’m sorry I got so caught up that I didn’t make anything for lunch, why don’t you boys make yourselves some sandwiches.” Annie hurriedly put the papers she was looking at into an accordion folder as she spoke.

“Yea, sure, you want one?” Billy asked as he pulled cheese, lunchmeat, and mayo out of the fridge.

“No thanks dear, I’m not hungry.” Annie replied as she scooped up the folder and scurried away.

“You have any idea what was in that folder?” I asked as we made ourselves some food.

“I know their marriage license and mine and Seth’s birth certificates are there but I don’t know what else. I think the deed to the farm might be in there too. Mom has always kept the important documents together.” Billy answered as he reached for a tomato on the window sill.

As we sat down at the table I couldn’t help but turn my mind to Annie. Why was she looking through old legal documents? What was she looking for? I don’t know why the idea struck with me as much as it did but I couldn’t help but think that there was something more going on.

                                                           *      *      *

David was thinking about something, I could tell by that far away look he had on his face. I couldn’t blame him, I was thinking hard too. I was wondering what mom was up to. I knew she was up to something; she had been really secretive lately, quiet, and increasingly irreverent toward dad.

When we finished our lunch and went upstairs to change into our trunks, we made sure to keep our backs resolutely to each other while we did so, even though I had a hard time doing it.

“When are we supposed to meet Walker?” I asked to keep from turning around.

“Honestly I have no clue; hell I don’t even know where we are supposed to meet him.” David replied behind me and I started laughing so hard I had to grab the wall to keep from falling over. Good thing I was already in my swimming trunks.

Before I had time to realize what happened David had an arm wrapped carefully around my throat and I felt his knuckles digging into the top of my head, asshole was giving me a nuggie.

Not to be outdone I turned in David’s grip and wrapped my arms around his chest and squeezed hard. David’s arms were suddenly at my sides and I felt his finger tips dig into my sides, tickling me.

I was psychotically ticklish and immediately let my grip on David fall away and tried to pull back, laughing hysterically and trying to push his hands away.

“Please…please…stop…can’t take it.” I wheezed desperately as tears sprung to my eyes.

Immediately David stopped tickling me but his hands stayed on my sides. Weakly I leaned forward and rested my forehead on David’s shoulder, only then noticing that he was shirtless.

“Don’t…ever…do that…again.” I tried to sound firm or angry but that was pretty much impossible when I was breathing like I had just run a mile.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t know you were that ticklish. I mean I knew you were pretty tactile…I’m sorry.” David stated quietly, apologetically.

I let my hands ghost over David’s bare stomach for a second before I pulled back, remembering what had happened this morning and not wanting to push too far like I had done then.

I couldn’t place the look on David’s face as I pulled away but I figured it for a mix between relief and guilt.

“It’s ok…just for future reference when I stop breathing then stop.” I smiled nervously as I ran a hand over the back of my head.

“Will do.” David replied as he reached for a plain white tank top that was laying on his bed, he pulled it on instead of the black t-shirt he had pulled on that morning.

“We should leave our shell’s here. I dunno what he has planned but I think it’d be a good idea; don’t want them to get lost.” David said as he pulled off his necklace.

I followed suit and pulled mine off and put it on the table by my headboard, missing the little weight of the corkscrew that had been around my neck.

Together we headed downstairs and I dug the cooler out form under the sink and started filling it up.

“I don’t think we’re going to have to worry about meeting Walker, he’s here.” David said as I turned the water off.

I watched out the kitchen window as Walker came up on the back porch, he caught sight of me and didn’t bother knocking before he came in.

“You two ready to go?” Walker’s deep baritone echoed through the kitchen.

“Yea we’re ready to go; now why don’t you tell us where we’re going?” I asked but Walker shook his head.

“You need to get a couple of towels too.” Walker said and David dashed upstairs for a couple of big beach towels. I’d never seen the ocean but we used them when we vacationed up on Lake Michigan a few years before Seth left.

“Good, now let’s get moving.” Walker said as he rubbed his hands together excitedly.

Using the towel for padding I slung the cooler around my shoulder and picked up a couple of plastic glasses and set off.

Both David and I tried to talk to Walker several times as we walked through the woods, trying to find out what was going on but Walker kept steadfastly quiet, instead he kept deflecting; talking about Chris and Julian and anything else he could.

“Damnit, I didn’t tell mom we were leaving.” I said and almost turned around before David caught hold of my shoulder.

“No worries, I saw her on my way downstairs and told her what was going on. She told us to have fun and be home in time to wash up before dinner.”

“Oh yea, you guys will definitely need to wash up by the time we’re done.” Walker laughed loudly as he pushed through the trees.

Just as I was about to try and ask again what was going on we pushed through a heavy group of tree branches into a wide clearing, I could hear the sound of the river but not see it.

What drew my attention though was the large circle of brown amongst the sea of soft green.

A mud pit had been dug in the clearing.

* * *

Billy was looking apprehensive but me, hell I was looking forward to it as Walker explained what was going on.

“I’ve been working on it all summer. Digging it a little at a time, combing through it for rocks and any other kinds of nasty surprises and now it is finally done. It’s about knee deep and we don’t have to worry about sinking further because I lined it with tarps before I filled it back in.” Walker’s voice was proud as he pointed to the blue square that was visible around the pit.

“You had us come out here to play around in the mud, just three of us?” Billy asked as he set the cooler down on the ground.

“No you goon. I can’t go around mud wrestling with two other gay guys, Chris would kill me. Even if they were you too, no we should have company shortly. Chris, Julian and Sam should be here any time.” Walker said as he stripped out his shirt and waded into the mud pit.

I followed Walker’s example and all but ripped off my shirt and started to wade after him.

“Come on Billy, loose the top and hop in, no sense ruining a good shirt.” Walker called before falling backward into the mud, keeping his head up though.

Walker stood up and shook some mud off his body, looking for the entire world as if his massive form was made of stone, and sat on the edge of the pit and fell back on the grass.

I turned to smile at Billy only to see him looking scared…one hand rubbing his chest, just over his heart.

Noticing exactly where Billy’s finger were rubbing I walked up to him and rubbed my thumb over the same area. I couldn’t feel what I knew was there but the shocked expression that quickly turned to fear and then shame told me I was right.

“How long ago?” I whispered after making sure Walker was still sprawled out on the grass. I knew it had to be recent, Walker and Sam knew about Billy’s scars and by now I figured they had filled in Julian and Chris, if only to keep them from asking questions.

The only way Billy wouldn’t want this one seen was if it was more visible than the others, newer, less faded.

Billy looked down at the ground as he answered.

“Not long after you first arrived.” His voice was so low it was hard for me to hear, even though I was close enough to feel the heat coming off his face.

Guilt suddenly crushed me and I knew that it was my fault. The first day I was here, the night I went walking…the day I teased Billy by showing off while I changed that morning.

“I want to talk about this later,” I whispered quietly and Billy nodded, “But for now we’re gonna have fun and you’re not gonna worry. Get your shirt off and get in the mud, fast.” I ordered quickly.

Billy looked a little apprehensive but he nodded and pulled off his shirt. We kicked off our shoes and socks and headed to the mud hole.

“Play along.” I whispered as we stepped down into the pit.

I had to admit it was an unusual feeling, unusual but not bad. The mud was cool and thick and clung to my legs as I waded into it. Moving was difficult but kind of fun at the same time.

As soon as Billy was in the mud with me I scooped up a handful of mud.

“Hey Billy,” I called as I raised the mud, “Heads up.”

Billy looked scared for a single second before the mud collided with his chest. I hadn’t thrown it hard so Billy’s gasp was more of shock than pain; which I was glad for.

Looking down at his chest though he smiled, I had completely covered his scar.

“You’re gonna pay for that.” I’m sure he was trying to sound menacing but the smile on his face gave it away.

“Hey you two don’t start until the others get here.” Walker’s voice pulled us out of our little staring contest.

We both looked over to Walker; he was sitting up with the mud caking to his arms and torso where he had fallen back into the mud. I caught Billy’s eyes and motioned toward the mud with my hand, he got the picture.

We both stooped down and scooped up a handful of mud and advanced on Walker.

“Now you two don’t do anything you might regret.” Walker said as he raised his hands defensively.

Both Billy and I must have been thinking along the same lines because we both spoke at the same time.

“Too late.” We chimed in unison before tossing the mud at Walker’s chest with a squelching sort of thud.

Walker just looked up at the two of us. He was smiling at the two of us but at the same time he looked a little sad, I wonder if Billy caught it too.

“Looks like they started the fun without us.” I smiled, my worries temporarily forgotten when I heard Julian’s voice behind us.

I turned around to see Julian walking hand in hand with Sam with Chris tailing along behind them, looking a little apprehensive.

“Well if you three were molasses slow we wouldn’t have had to.” Walker said as he pulled his legs out of the mud with a squelch and walked over to Chris, relieving him of his back pack.

That's when I noticed that all three of them were loaded down with stuff, Chris was carrying what looked like a hiking pack, and Sam and Julian were carrying each a large picnic basket.

“It looks like you planned on us being here a while Walker.” Billy said as Sam and Julian set their baskets down.

“Well, Chris and I are camping out tonight so one of those baskets is for us.” Walker said as he relieved Chris of his back pack.

“You’re looking a little apprehensive there Chris.” I said as Walker took his clean tanned hand in his dull gray muddy one and lead him over to the mud hole.

“I…I’m not scared.” Chris stuttered out, looking down at the pit worriedly.

“I didn’t say scared, I said apprehensive. There is a difference.” I said and Chris blushed, but was saved answering by Walker.

“Chris doesn’t like to get dirty, and he’s got certain…issues…with mud. Part of the reason why I set this up is to show him how nice it is to have some good dirty fun.” Walker placed a delicate strain on the word dirty, making Chris blush.

“Not like that…yet.” I heard him whisper to Chris.

“Come on Chris, it's fun.” Billy climbed out of the pit and walked up to the couple.

“I…I dunno…Maybe I’ll just sit out and watch you guys.” Chris tried to back away but Billy wouldn’t let him.

“Come on Chris, no one knows better than me how therapeutic it is to face your fears.” Billy took hold of Chris’s shoulder with his clean hand and led him over to the mud pit.

“Strip down and get in here with us Chris.” I caught on to what Billy was doing and decided to help out.

Hesitantly Chris pulled of his tank top, revealing a very toned, tanned, and lightly furry chest and stomach. He toed out of his shoes, leaving him barefooted in black swimming trunks.

Very aware that Walker, Julian and Sam were watching us I reached up and took hold of his hand with my muddy one and helped guide him down into the pit with Billy’s help.

“Just dirt and water Chris.” Billy said as he scooped up a handful of it and slapped it against Chris’s chest.

Chris shook a bit at the hit but after a few deep breaths started to calm down.

“See, it’s not gonna kill you. Now it’s time to get your hands dirty.” I motioned to the mud around us and Chris looked fleetingly up at Walker before he bent down and scooped up a handful, letting it slide between his fingers as he did so.

“I think he’s got it.” Billy said with a smile.

“Good, NOW we can have some fun.” Sam said before jumping bravely down in the mud pit, picking up a handful of mud and slinging it at Walker; catching in the chest and neck.

“That is for keeping it secret that you were gay for so long.” Sam said triumphantly.

“What about Billy, he did too.” Walker wiped the mud off his neck as he stepped into the pit; Julian was rummaging in one of the picnic baskets.

“We might need these.” He said as pulled out a tangle of swimming goggles and what looked like a shower cap.

He tossed each of us a pair of the goggles and helped Sam into the shower cap.

“If any of you laugh I’ll kill you.” Sam’s tone was deadly serious as she tucked her hair up under the cap.

None of us laughed at this, we all knew Sam would probably do it if we did. Either way, I’m glad that we had taken off our shells…this was gonna get ugly.

* * *

As the afternoon wore on, playful mudslinging and rough housing gave way to single wrestling matches between the six of us, currently I was facing off against Julian.

“Come on Billy, take his skinny ass down. Avenge my down fall.” David called out to me, only to be promptly swatted in the head by Sam.

David had drawn the short straw between us and had just lost spectacularly to Sam. She probably wouldn’t have been so hard on him but during their tugging and pulling he had tripped and knocked off her shower cap…just before he fell on top of her; successfully caking her red hair in mud.

“Yea Billy, come on; you can take me.” Julian mocked playfully, he was smiling though.

Before I could reply Julian lunged at me, well as much as you could lunge when you’re knee deep in thick, tacky mud.

The mud made him slow and let me grab his arm and toss him face first into the mud.

“You gone and got soft on me Julian, a forward attack; you’re better than that.” I taunted playfully as Julian picked himself up and wiped the mud off his face.

Julian scooped up a handful of mud to toss at me so I dodged to the left, but he had another one waiting for me as I moved and caught me in the stomach.

Doubling up a bit from the hit gave Julian time to get his arms around me, squeezing my arms to my side.

“I dunno, frontal attack seems to work.” Julian hissed breathlessly as he squeezed a bit tighter.

“Yea, it might have been; if you hadn’t pinned my arms to my side.” I replied before I forced my arms out, breaking Julian’s slippery grip.

Before he had time to recover I wrapped my arms around his waist and hoisted him up over my shoulder. Bending forward as I did to lessen the force of the impact I let him fall off my shoulder, back first into the mud.

“Alright, alright. I give up. Two out of three falls.” Julian said as he struggled up. I held my hand to help him up.

Once the two us were out of the pit it was decided to wash up and take a break. Chris was a little reluctant, once he loosened up a bit he got really into it, slinging mud like a mad man.

“Don’t look so down…we can come back later and have more fun…just the two of us.” I heard Walker whisper to him as we walked, making Chris blush under the dried mud under his face.

Seeing the two of them, as well as Sam and Julian walking hand in hand caused a little twinge of jealousy in my chest. It was dumb I know but I couldn’t help it…as scared as I was of the prospect…I wanted to be with someone.

I wanted to be with David.

“You ok Billy?” David asked as he laid his hand on my shoulder.

“Yea, I’m fine. Why you ask?” I asked, covering my feelings easily.

“You were looking a little spaced out is all.” David replied as he fiddled with the rope of our cooler.

“I was just thinking of the four of them,” I said as I pointed ahead of us to Walker, Chris, Julian and Sam, “It’s nice that they’ve got each other; makes me a little sad is all…happy for them…but sad.” I replied, feeling it would be best to be honest with him.

“You want that…want to be with someone.” David replied knowingly.

“Yea…I mean the idea of dating a guy still scares the hell out of me but yea I’d like to know what that feeling is like.” I replied quietly as I felt heat flood my neck and around my ears.

“You know what Billy…I would too.” David said softly.

I smiled slightly as the six of us came up to the bank of the river, noticing some rolled sleeping bags and small fire pit near the bank.

“This is where Chris and I are camping. I figured it should be near water, that way we’d get the chance to clean up.” Walker said as he waded out into the water.

We all dropped what we were carrying and followed him out into the water. It was nice to wash off the dried and caked mud in the cool water, but a nice hot shower would be nice too when we got home.

I dunked under the water and ran my hands through my hair to clean it out some. When I came back up Julian motioned to my chest.

“How did you get that scar on your chest Billy.” He asked and I paled…the water had washed off my protective coating of mud.

Immediately a thousand excuses and stories went through my mind, trying to think of something to tell him, it was David’s hand on my shoulder that brought me out of my haze.

I took a deep breath and tried to let go of the tension that had suddenly hit me.

’No more lying Billy.’ I thought to myself.

These were my friends after all, I could trust them.

“I wasn’t as accepting of being gay as Walker and Chris were. I thought it was wrong and that it made me sick or crazy,” I said as I touched the scar on my chest, “I used to cut to relieve the feelings…this was my most recent one.”

Julian looked stunned as I finished. Before that might have worried or freaked me out but David had his hands on my shoulders; it was hard to panic when he was touching me.

What I didn’t expect though was for Julian to up and hug me. After a few moments of being stunned I relaxed into Julian’s strong grip and hugged him back. Julian’s torso was warm and hard against mine, it was nice. I wasn’t like when I hugged or was close to David, this was more like when Seth was home.

Water splashed and I felt three more pairs of arms wrap around me. Walker’s tree trunk arms, Sam’s thin delicate limbs and Chris’s wiry arms all wrapped around my body and squeezed tight.

It was like a dam broke in my chest and suddenly I was crying. Not huge wracking sobs, just tears falling down my face, my shoulders shaking I was just overwhelmed…I dunno if it was from grief or worry or even relief. It just…it felt good, I felt…safe, comforted.

Slowly the four of them fell away and I found myself pushed into another grip. A warm chest pressed to my back, familiar arms wrapped around my chest as my friends fell into the water, playing and splashing.

“See Billy, they love you.” David whispered in my ear.

“Yea…I never thought…I never knew.” I didn’t have the words to go on, to articulate the sense of family and acceptance I was feeling.

“I love them too.” ‘And you’ I added silently as I rested a hand over David’s on my chest.

                                                           *      *      *

Bill and I sat on the back porch that night after Dinner; it was nice, quiet except for the sound of the crickets chirping and other bugs buzzing around.

“What do you guys do out here for the forth of July?” I asked as I rested my hands behind my head.

“It depends. Sometimes we go to town to watch the fireworks display or go down to Walker’s or Sam’s for a cook out, and sometimes we don’t do anything; just sit at home. To be honest it pretty much depends on what kind of mood dad is in at the time.” Billy answered with a smile. Despite the answer though he was smiling, he had been a bit giddy ever since we got back from hanging out with the others.

“So what do you think will happen this year?” I couldn’t place Mr. Templeton’s mood the last few days. When he wasn’t tending to the crops he was gone, usual at another farm.

“No idea. Walker mentioned a bonfire party while we were at the river but he wasn’t sure. Said he’d get back to us.” I was confused at this, I didn’t remember Walker mentioning anything about that, and I told Billy as much.

“Yea that was probably because you, Chris, and Julian were having too much fun rolling around in the grass like a couple of two year olds.” Billy smiled at this.

“Yea well that was because you said you were too tired. Beside I like a bit of roughhousing.” I tried to act a little snide but my smile threw it off. I don’t remember what started it but somehow, while Walker, Sam and Billy were talking I ended up playfully rolling and fighting in the grass with Julian and Chris.

“Yea I noticed that you seemed to be really enjoying yourself while you were playing.” Billy smirked, cocky shit.

“Yea, I like to wrestle, not fighting but wrestling. There is something…primal…about the press of one body against another, the movement. Pitting your strength and power against your opponent, fighting for control, fighting for dominance. Even when you’re just rolling around for fun like we were.” I closed my eyes and smiled a bit, thinking back to earlier.

“You make it sound like it turns you on.” Billy said sarcastically, making me laugh a little.

“Maybe a little bit yea, but not physically. It’s more mental, kinda like a high. It kinda makes me giddy.” I answered, trying to put it into words.

Billy though just smiled and shook his head.

“I like to roughhouse too. Seth and I used to play fight all the time. Me and Walker too, till he got so damn big he could crush you with his thumb.” Billy laughed.

“I Dunno, he and Chris were having a helluva time in that mud hole earlier today.” I smiled and thought back to when Billy and I first came home. Even though we had washed up in the river there was still a coating of dirt and mud on our skin and in our hair; Annie nearly had a heart attack laughing at the pair of us.

“It was nice what you did earlier, helping Chris out like that.” Billy smiled sheepishly at me.

“Yea…He just looked so scared. I’ve never met anyone who was afraid of mud before.” Billy laughed but immediately looked a little guilty.

“Don’t look so guilty, it is funny, in a way. Just so long as you aren’t cruel about it, and neither have I.” Billy’s guilty look vanished at this.

“I don’t think that he is afraid of it anymore though…Hell I can’t even bring myself to think what happened in that mud after we left.” Billy shook his head, he was smiling though.

I smiled too at the vision that came to me, Walker and Chris rolling around naked in the mud, teasing and groping each other in the slippery earth. It was a hot vision.

“Good god…you’re picturing it aren’t you?” Billy asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Oh come on, like you aren’t?” I answered, fighting the blush on my neck.

Billy just laughed and shook his head.

We spent a little longer on the porch, sitting quietly or just talking. Not for the first time I felt an ache. I was going to miss this when I went home, I didn’t have anyone like Billy back there; no one I could just sit with and talk to.

Julian ran in a circle of good people, jocks mostly, so I didn’t want to drag him down with me. He went out of his way to talk to me and be nice to me back home but I know he took flak for it more often then not.

Feeling suddenly cold I shifted my position. I turned on the steps to look out at the road, brought my arms up to rest on my knees, fighting the tears I felt stinging my eyes.

* * *

Something was wrong, I don’t know what it was but I watched as he changed his position. Before he was open, happy and carefree…now though, he had pulled his arms and legs into his chest, closed, cut off; hurting.

I moved off the swing and sat down on the steps behind him. I put my legs on either side of him and wrapped my arms around his chest.

“What’s wrong David?” I asked quietly. I didn’t care if mom or dad walked out on us like this, my friend was hurting.

“I…I’m going to miss this. Miss being around people who accept and trust me…people who like me.” David answered quietly, resting his forehead against his arms.

“I’m sorry for everything that happened to David. I wish I could make it better.” I didn’t know what to say, he had told me what his life was a like back home but…there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

“Don’t be sorry Billy. It’s my fault,” I tried to argue here but he wouldn’t let me, “It is my fault. I…I stopped trying after mom left. I knew I was fucking up and I didn’t care…I just kept on, pushing the boundaries and breaking the rules.

Not even going to juvy kept me clean…I wasn’t strong enough to keep trying when I got out. I just got bogged down by all the shit people kept hurling at me and I crumbled and just went back to my same old crap.” Finally David broke and his shoulders started to shake. I tightened my grip on him and waited.

When he calmed down some I leaned forward and spoke in his ear.

“You’re stronger now though. You saved me from myself, and you’re strong enough to do the same thing for yourself. Maybe being out here is just what you need, time to gain some perspective and get you’re strength up.”

David lifted his hands and gripped my arms and turned his head to look up at me and smiled.

“Thanks Billy…it means a lot to know that someone has confidence in me.” David smiled as he lay his head back against my chest.

Just like that I made a really dumb decision and leaned forward and kissed him…again. And again he kissed me back.

But only for a second, before I could even savor the feeling he had pulled away.

‘So much for puppy love.’ I thought silently as I felt my heart break in my chest at the look on his face, I was about to be shot down again and this time…fuck, this time it was going to hurt…

* * *

I saw it coming this time when Billy leaned forward and kissed me. I shouldn’t have responded but I kissed back again, it wasn’t anything serious, just a press of lips moving carefully against each other.

I swear it only lasted about five seconds before I pulled away. This time though it hurt more. After everything the two of us had been through and talked about and helped each other through in such a short amount of time, this just felt like the natural progression.

Kissing Billy, touching him, being with him…all of it just felt so good and so right and maybe it was; but it wasn’t possible. I knew neither of us would want to let go once we got started but there was no way I could avoid leaving in September.

I stood up and turned away from the shock and the hurt on Billy’s face. After a few deep breaths I turned back to him, noting his stoic expression.

“I’m sorry Billy…we can’t…I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you.” I wanted to rush up and hug him as I saw his stoic expression start to crack. His eyes started to glisten in the dark with tears and I could tell he was biting the inside of his lower lip.

After a few seconds of swallowing hard he turned away and raised a hand to wipe his eyes.

“It’s ok…I understand now. I’ll stop pushing and I’ll do my best to stop letting this get in the way.” I heard him say quietly, his shoulders started shacking and I knew he was crying.

I walked up and put my hand on his shoulder, intending on apologizing again but the second I made contact with him he shot out of my grip like I burned him.

As quick as he could without running he took off into the house. I wanted to follow him and try to explain, I was sure that whatever he ‘understood’ wasn’t what I was going for. I decided against it though, for the second time in twelve hours I had shot him down, I figured it was best to let him get his head together first.

Not wanting to stay around the house in case he came back out or Annie or William came out I turned and walked down toward the corral, pulling out my cell as I went. Briefly I considered calling my Uncle, it was still early in Davis, but I didn’t.

Uncle Scott had warned me about this, he knew what was going on in my head and warned me to be careful…and I didn’t listen. I didn’t want him to know how badly I had screwed up…I didn’t want to disappoint him.

I leaned against the ropes and just looked around. I saw the troughs for the horses and remembered how Billy had covered the hay trough for me before the rain we got the other day…he didn’t want me to get in trouble with his dad.

God how could I do this to him after everything he’d done for me. I had told him things that I hadn’t told anyone else, he’d helped me face problems and issues I had since my mom walked out and this is how I repay him, fucking hurting him like this.

‘You are a complete fucking jerk. If you had the slightest bit of decency you’d call dad and beg him to let you come home. Just leave Billy to get over this…infatuation…with you.’ I said to myself. I figured I was right, after everything I had helped him out with it was only natural for him to develop a crush on me.

I was the first single gay guy he had come into contact with after accepting the fact that he was gay himself…I had helped him to get there after all, it was to be expected.

‘So that is Billy’s excuse, but what about you?’ My mind asked me quietly.

Me…that was easy. I loved Billy, I cared about him and I want to take care of him and be there for him. In all honesty I didn’t think it would last forever but…indulging it even for a little bit would be bad.

I don’t know how long I stayed there against the ropes thinking everything over before I went back in the house. I was surprised when Annie or William didn’t say anything to me, but then again they seemed to be talking in the living room, civilly for once, so I just head up stairs to Billy’s room.

Billy was asleep in his bed, the blanket was wrapped tight around him but I could tell he was curled up into himself; his legs pulled to his chest. He had left the light on, for me I suppose, so I stripped out of my shorts and made to lay down.

As I pulled my cover back though I saw something that made tears jump to my eyes.

Billy’s shell necklace was no longer on his table…but placed very deliberately on my pillow.

I picked up the necklace and held onto it tightly as I flipped the light off. Once I lay down though I held the fragile little shell close and started to cry.

“God Billy…I’m so sorry.” I whispered brokenly into the dark.

* * *

The Fourth of July sucks. I should be laughing dancing and having fun like my friends instead of sitting in the loft of the old barn where we were partying.

Usually there would be a bonfire somewhere but not this year; no one seemed to want to put the effort into it. So earlier that morning word got spread around that there would be another Barn Dance that night to celebrate, it was pretty much the worst kept secret around, pretty much every parent knew where their kids were gonna be that night; with the exception of mine, of course.

Actually I wasn’t so sure about that. Mom had convinced Dad to spend the night in town, just the two of them, at a hotel to celebrate. Dad left explicit instructions that David and I were not to leave the house while they were gone.

After what happened the night before though that wasn’t going to happen. I got up early, made myself some breakfast and took off with Elder. I couldn’t be around David, it hurt too fucking much. I wanted him…I loved him…but he didn’t want me.

Despite that though I still wanted him to be with me as a friend. I needed time to get my head right around that concept. I used to have a crush on Walker and I managed to compartmentalize that; sure this was much, much different but I was confident that I could work this out too…I just needed some time.

I didn’t manage to stay away from the house for very long though, I didn’t want to be alone, and something told me Elder wasn’t in the mood either. After riding around for a few hours I found myself at the table for lunch, across from David.

He apologized again, and again. I told him that it was ok and that I needed some time myself to think about everything and he seemed to be ok with it, if a little down trodden. He was a sweet guy, he was sad that he had upset me.

“Could he be anymore perfect?” I asked myself quietly as I looked down at the mass of writhing bodies on the floor below me.

“Well if you’re talking about yourself than no, you really couldn’t be.” That voice made me jump, why oh why did it have to be her to find me?

“Hey Candace, what brings you up here?” I asked as I turned to look at her. For once she was wearing clothes that actually fit her. Sure her black top was tight but not low cut and covered her torso completely. Her jeans were ripped at the knees but weren’t revealing or skin tight either.

“I saw you up here and thought I would come up and offer you a peace offering.” She replied as she held up a red plastic cup.

“A peace offer?” I asked as I took the glass from her, I had to resist the urge to sniff it. There was two bowls of punch, one was spiked and one was normal.

“Well maybe an apology is more appropriate,” She said, looking sheepish, “I got to thinking about all the trashy shit I had done and how it must have looked after you left the other day. I’m sorry about all that.” Candace smiled and I had to admit, when she wasn’t trying to get in your pants she was actually pretty pleasant.

I took a sip of the punch and sorta grimaced at the taste, it wasn’t alcoholic but it tasted…off…kind of bitter.

“This isn’t the spiked one is it? I don’t drink.” I asked and Candace shook her head.

“Oh no, I made sure to get the regular stuff, I don’t drink either. It does have a funny taste though; I think someone might have put a rotten fruit into it. You want mine instead?” She asked as she offered me the other glass she was holding.

Feeling suddenly guilty I shook my head. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had screwed up. Not wanting to be impolite I took a few more drinks.

“So what are you doing up here instead of being at the party?” She asked as she leaned next to me.

“Eh, I’m just not in the mood to party…or be a fifth wheel. All my friends have paired up so I’m the only one on his own.” I replied, smiling carefully.

“What about that one guy who’s staying with you…David I think it was? What is he doing? Couldn’t you two hang out?” Candace asked curiously, I hope she didn’t see me stiffen up.

“He’s down there somewhere enjoying himself. I dunno. I guess I’m just not in the partying mood.” I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.

“Well then, why don’t we get out of here? We can go for a walk. I don’t much feel like being here either; Dad thought it would be a good idea.” Candace said, rolling her eyes.

Thinking that maybe I had judged Candace a little too harshly I decided it would be a good idea. I didn’t really want to be alone but at the same time I didn’t feel like being down in the party either, a walk sounded like a good idea.

I drained the rest of my nasty punch and headed down the stairs with Candace.

* * *

“Hey David, have you seen Billy?” Sam called to me over the music as she and Julian came to the corner where I was sulking

I didn’t really want to be here but Walker had insisted when he called that I show up so I didn’t have much choice, it was either come and or incur the wraith of Walker Kong.

“Not since we got here. He was over by the back entrance last time I saw him.” I sipped at my punch as we spoke; it had a fruity tangy kind of taste to it.

Sam looked at me closely before she told Julian to go ask Chris and Walker. Once he was gone she turned back to me, hands on her hips and looking determined.

“Ok Baily, why don’t you tell me what’s going with you and Billy? You two have been inseparable for weeks, now suddenly you are on opposite sides of the room; and you look like someone kicked your puppy.” Sam’s voice was low enough that only I could hear her.

For a second I considered lying to her but I knew it wouldn’t work. And I was actually afraid of what she would do if she caught me in a lie. This chick scared me…which was hard.

So I told her, about everything. The near miss on the porch after we ran through the rain, Billy holding onto me the night of the storm, kissing him the next morning and shutting him down. Kissing him that evening and shutting him down again…When I told her that he had cried over it she looked so furious I worried for my safety.

“And don’t give me that death look…Billy isn’t the only one hurting.” I bit off harshly and Sam cocked an eye at me.

“Good, you’re a moron. Now come on, I’ve got a bad feeling.” Same grabbed my arm and hauled me off the crate I was sitting on and through the party.

We found Walker, Chris and Julian in the corner where Chris had his equipment set up, all three of them looking apprehensive.

“What’s going on?” I asked once we were close enough to them to keep others from hearing us.

“I was just about to come get you. Walker heard some whispers a second ago. A few people saw Billy leaving through the back door…with Candy.” Chris said and Sam’s jaw dropped…and my blood ran cold.

“No way…Billy hates her, there is no way he would go willingly with her.” I tried…and failed…to keep the panic out of my voice.

“I know but…word is they were talking and laughing. I don’t know how reliable the source is but it’s easy to tell that he isn’t here.” Walker looked worried as he spoke and I flashed back to what he was saying last week, about how Candy being around was kind of suspicious.

“We need to go look for him, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Sam said before taking off, leaving me Walker and Julian to follow.

“Let me know what’s going on!!!” Chris called, he had to stay with his equipment.

As the four of us took off into the woods, looking for signs of Billy and Candy, I couldn’t help but feel sick at my stomach…something was wrong.

* * *

We hadn’t gotten very far into the woods before I started to feel a little dizzy and hot. Everything was kind of fuzzy around the edges.

“I...I think that the fruit they used in that punch…might have…might have gone bad.” I mumbled out as I slumped against a tree. I started laughing as I spoke…for some reason it seemed funny.

“Hmm don’t worry Billy boy. Candace is here to take good care of you,” Candy whispered in my ear, making me shiver, “There is a clearing up ahead, lets get you up there so you can relax.” She wrapped my arm around her shoulders and put hers around my waist.

Everything went weird, light and sounds became all distorted and fuzzy and before I knew it I was being lowered to the ground and propped up against the tree. I felt someone straddle my lap and felt long fingered hands working up my shirt.

Immediately my mind when to David, I tried to open my eyes but they were too heavy so I lifted my stiff, heavy arms and reached for him. It didn’t feel like David though, the hair was too long, shoulder too narrow and chest was way too….giggly.

The person moved their hands lower, pawning at my jeans. I struggled, tried to throw them off but my body was too heavy and before I could do anything my button and zipper were down and long nails were scrapping my skin as they slipped under my boxer briefs.

Suddenly there was shouting and yelling and screaming and the world tipped sideways and everything went dark.

* * *

“I think there is a clearing up ahead, lets look there.” Sam called out to us, we had split up once we reached the trees, it was a dark moonless night so we had a better chance this way.

The others called out affirmatives and we pushed forward.

The second we stepped into the clearing my blood ran cold.

Billy was sitting against a tree on the far side of the clearing, struggling weakly as Candace, naked save for her bra and panties, sitting on his lap.

I couldn’t do anything but shout for the others as Sam darted forward and grabbed Candy by her hair and drug her off Billy.

Rushing forward as Billy fell sideways to the ground I barely noticed when Sam drug Candace to her feet and landed a ringing back hand across her face.

“Billy…Billy wake up.” I shook his shoulders and I spoke, desperately trying to wake him up.

Billy stirred and mumbled something but didn’t wake.

“You pathetic whore what in the fuck did you do to him?!?” Sam screamed at Candace. I heard Candy mumble something followed by another slap.

“Don’t you dare lie to me again you bitch.” Candace screamed and this time I looked over, Sam was twisting her blond hair violently.

I turned back to Billy as Candace babbled out what she had slipped Billy, some sort of sedative…and a Viagra. Looking him over I saw that his pants were undone so I hurriedly fastened them as Walker and Julian crashed into the clearing.

“You three get him home and take care of him,” Sam said with another violent tug at Candy’s hair, “I’ll deal with this pathetic piece of trash.”

For once neither of us argued, Walker came up and scooped Billy effortlessly into his arms. Julian and I followed him out of the clearing leaving Candace to her fate…at Sam’s hand.

                                                             *      *      *

Sam's POV

“Look here bitch bag,” I whispered as the guys vacated the clearing, “I don’t know who put you up to this but you’re gonna go back and tell them it didn’t work.”

“No one put me up to anything.” Candy shrieked at me, but she wouldn’t look me in the eye.

Another slap to loosen her up, not as hard as before but she’d be feeling it in the morning.

“I told you not to lie to me. Now, I know you’re not smart enough to cook this up. You’re gonna tell them it didn’t work. You’re not going to tell them why or how it happened either. Then you are gonna tell your daddy that you want to go back to your aunts.
I swear Candace that if I ever see you again or if anything happens to my boy because of this…they will find you floating face down in the river and they will never, NEVER find out it was me.” I twisted her hair again, this time it made her eyes tear up.

Disgusted I tossed the piece of trash back to the ground, down in the dirt where she belongs.

“Remember Candy, no one finds out what happened here. Or you’re a dead bitch.” I spat on the ground in front of her and took off into the trees. I needed to let Chris know what was happening and then find the others.

* * *

I thanked god that Annie had convinced old man to go out for the night as we walked up the stairs to Billy’s room. Halfway to the house Billy had woken up and started to struggle in Walker’s arms, we got him called down but currently he was still struggling weakly and crying.

“Billy shhh, it’s ok, you’re home now.” Walker crooned quietly as he lay Billy down on his bed. God I felt useless, I was cold and couldn’t stop shaking…I couldn’t get the idea of what would have happened to Billy if we hadn’t got there in time.

Billy stopped struggling once he was laid down but he was still crying quietly.

“Don’t want….don’t want her…want…need David.” Billy mumbled through his tears.

Julian and Walker both looked at me knowingly and before I could move Walker had grabbed my wrist hard and drug me over to the bed.

“You take care of him. If anything happens call Julian’s cell then 911.” Walker said as he put a piece of paper with Julian’s number on the table.

I looked up at them dumb founded, they couldn’t be leaving me here alone. Julian must have read my thoughts or something because he spoke up.

“Yea we can, I dunno what all she gave him but I’m pretty sure once he finds out you’re here things are gonna come out…things that aren’t for us to know about. Not like this. Call us if he gets worse.” With that he and Walker left me there with Billy, the closing door seemed to echo through the room.

I didn’t know what to do. Billy’s breathing and pulse seemed to be ok but he was still crying and saying my name. Being careful not to hurt him I lifted his head and sat down on the bed, pull his pillow into my lap I let him rest back on it.

“Shh, it’s ok Billy…I’m right here.” I said quietly as I stroked his hair.

“Dav…David?” Billy whispered brokenly.

“Yea Billy I’m here, it’s ok. Just relax; you need to sleep this shit off.” I tried to sooth him to sleep but he rolled around and looked up at me, his eyes were bright and a little dilated but shockingly clear for a guy who had been drugged.

“I’m so sorry David…so sorry…I didn’t mean to…I didn’t think about it…she didn’t seem the same.” Billy whispered as more tears ran down his face.

“Billy don’t apologize to me. You don’t have to answer to me and I’m not mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I ran my hand through his hair again, trying to make him feel better.

“Yea I do…I do…I do because I want you…I love you. And you…you don’t want me.” Billy turned his head buried his face against my stomach.

Billy thought I didn’t want him…Is that why he walked off with Candy?

“God Billy… how could you think that? I do love you and I do want to be with you. We…we just can’t. There is no way…hell, I’m leaving in less than two months.” I shouldn’t have said anything but the logical part of my mind had turned off, I was running on pure emotion.

Billy looked up at me. Now he was looking out of it. He smiled crookedly at me and reached up to touch my face. I leaned into his gentle touch, god this was a bad idea.

“You love me.” He whispered in awe.

I didn’t know what to do, it couldn’t happen. I would hurt us both too much.

“You remember any of this in the morning and we’ll talk. Sleep now.” I ordered quietly. Billy nodded and let his hand fall to his side. He pushed his face back against my stomach and I leaned back against the wall and tried to drift off.

Tomorrow…tomorrow was going to be difficult.

To be continued……
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I want to thank Rush for her work in editing, without her I would be nowhere. As always, I love to get your thoughts and opinions so feel free to email me at allenarcane88@yahoo.com, drop me a PM, write me a review or visit the discussion forum.

I read and respond to everything.

Discussion forum link.

http://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/26094-indiana-summer/