Indiana Summer - 17. Timing

Disclaimer: This story includes sexual and romantic situations between consenting individuals. Any allusion to illicit or illegal activity, sexual or otherwise, is used only for enhancement of the story line and not promotion thereof. Remember AIDS, HIV and other STDs are a very real threat, please always practice safe sex.

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Indiana Summer17: Timing

‘Hey Baby Brother,

I’m glad you’re finally being honest with me. Don’t take this the wrong way but you’ve never been a great liar, even in writing you suck at it. I’ve known from the first letter you sent that you were lying about dad; you forget that I lived with him too, longer than you in fact.

I don’t care that you lied; I understand why you did it, even if you didn’t explain why in your letter. You lied to protect me; to keep me from feeling bad about leaving you there to deal with him alone.

The truth is that I DO feel bad about leaving you there with him, knowing full well what he was like and how he would probably treat you after I left. I didn’t know what else to do though, I just….I couldn’t stay anymore Billy.

Reading your last letter though showed me something important Billy; it showed me the kind of man that you’re growing into. The fact that you could come clean with me and tell what has really been going on shows just how strong your character is.

I want you to know though that if it ever gets too hard, ever gets to be too much to take that all you have to do is call me and I’ll be on the first flight there. I don’t know what I’ll do once I get there but I’ll be there for you.

Having said that I also want you to know that you can tell me anything, ever, and that it won’t change how I feel about you. I don’t know what these ‘issues’ you hinted at are, not for sure at least, I have my suspicions but I’m not going to hound you for details or start making assumptions.

You can tell me whatever it is whenever you want to do it, whenever you’re ready and I’ll be here through it with you.

I’ve been trying to think of ways that we can talk more frequently or directly but so far I’ve only been able to come up with one idea; buying you a cell phone.

You and mom wouldn’t have to worry about paying for it; I’d take care of it. My only worry is what would happen if dad found out about it.

You and I both know that it’s been a long while since I’ve been around our old man so I don’t know what he’s likely to do if he found out I gave you a cell. I’ve pitched the idea to mom in the letter I’ve sent with this one so you two can talk it over and decide if there is any risk involved and if there is if you guys think it’s worth it.

I’m gonna wrap this up now little bro, I’ve got some work to do.

I love you Billy and I look forward to seeing another letter from you in my mailbox,

Love,
Seth,

P.S How are things going with that boarder you told me about? He’s been absent from your last few letters. I don’t need to come and kick his ass do I?

P.P.S Tell Sam that if she doesn’t stop telling Marisa about my past girlfriends that I’m going to come up there and eviscerate Scrappy…I don’t mind them exchanging letters and all but still….damn.’

I read the letter through one more time and still had to raise a hand and wipe the tears away. Everything that I was scared of him saying, everything I had worried about was completely wrong.

“Told you so.” David whispered before pressing a kiss against my neck.

The two of us were sitting on some hay bales in the loft, David against the wall with me sitting between his legs.

“Yea, yea; don’t gloat. It makes you look like an ass and Sam is nowhere to be seen. You’re supposed to be setting a good example for Elder.” I replied as I carefully folded the letter and slid it into my pocket.

“Elder is in the corral, I don’t I have to worry about influencing him.” David replied with a smirk that almost immediately softened, “Seriously though, I’m glad Seth took everything so well. I’ve got to meet your brother one of these days; he seems like a cool guy.”

I leaned back into David’s embrace, laying my head back on his shoulder and looking up into the rafters.

“He’s one of the best men that I know. I miss him like crazy. You know I kinda feel bad about how I thought he might react. I didn’t give him enough credit.” I sighed, feeling slightly ashamed of how I had thought Seth’s reply might go.

“Don’t feel bad babe, it’s normal to be worried and nervous when you do the kind of thing you did. Seth is right though, coming clean about all that like you did, after so long. It takes guts.” David nuzzled into my neck as he spoke.

“I couldn’t have done it without you. I’ve said this before but you being here has done a lot for me. I don’t think I could have done any of this, come to term with all of this without you here.” I moved up to my knees and turned to face David as I spoke.

David smiled at me and moved to mirror my position. Reaching up he put his hands on my shoulders, letting his thumbs rub against my neck as he pulled me forward so that our foreheads touched.

“You don’t know how it makes me feel to have been able to help you come this far Billy. You don’t give yourself enough credit though, it doesn’t matter how much I wanted to help you. If you hadn’t wanted to change then it wouldn’t have mattered.” David replied, pulling us closer ‘til our noses brushed.

I put my hands on his waist and rubbed my nose against his, wondering if I could tell him what I wanted to say. Our camping trip had brought us to a whole new level of closeness with each other in more ways than one, but I was worried that what I had to say might be too close to breaking his ‘no I love you’ rule.

“I wanted to change because of you.” I whispered, throwing caution and worry away for the moment.

David’s reaction was immediate and exactly what I figured it would be. Suddenly he stiffened and started to pull away from me. I tightened my grip and didn’t let him go.

“Don’t, please. I’m sorry; just don’t pull away.” I whispered as I held him steady.

David sighed but stayed still.

“You promised.” David whispered to me, his eyes were squeezed shut tight.

“I promised not to say…not to say something else.” I edited my self as David stiffened again, assuming I was going to tell him I loved him.

“It’s the same thing.” David pulled back so that we could see each other clearly as he replied.

“I know…and I’m sorry. I didn’t even really mean it like that,” I was lying and David looked skeptical so I tried to explain more convincingly, “I meant I wanted to do it for you because you believed that I could. No one’s believed I was capable of big things in a long time, with the exception of Mom of course.”

David still didn’t look like he believed me but he nodded anyway and nudged his nose against mine with a smile.

“You need to have more faith in yourself Billy. You’ve got so much potential, and a lot of talent. You could make a career out of your violin alone.” David said as he lay back into a pile of loose hay that we had covered with an old blanket, and pulled me down to lay with him.

“No, my fiddle’s just for me,” I smiled as I stretched out and lay along his side, “I don’t want to be a musician anyway, not seriously.”

“What do you wanna do?” David asked curiously.

“I want to work with horses, raising them and training them. I dunno if you can go to college for that or not though. I’d really like to own my own ranch one day, maybe even be a breeder.” I felt a little dumb saying all that out loud, being a trainer had been a pipe dream of mine since I first started training Elder.

David hummed quietly as he settled into the fodder underneath of us.

“I think that would be something you’d be damn good at Billy. If you could take an abused horse like Elder and not only train him, but teach him to trust strangers, imagine what you could do with a fresh horse; one that didn’t have Elders hang ups.” David’s reply made me smile; it was nice to have someone around who had confidence in me again.

For awhile we just lay together and enjoyed the relative privacy of the loft. We’d been home since late Sunday night but we hadn’t had a lot of time to be together, unless we were working.

Monday dad had restocked our supply of hay and straw but he hadn’t been careful enough when he was loading it into the truck so the two of us had spent the better part of the morning sifting through the bales, sorting out hay from straw then we faced the challenge of moving it to the loft.

David and I worked well together getting it up to the loft by tossing it but it was hard work and both of us were sore by the time we were done. David thinks dad mixed the bales up on purpose, wanting to make our work harder, and he’s probably right. I just don’t want to think about it.

Tuesday went by with us making unnecessary ‘repairs’ to the horses corral. I was starting to think that dad might have an ambition to blow money or he really wanted to keep me and David busy.

Dad had decided that several of the ropes that created the corral needed to be replaced and between two posts he removed the ropes completely and had us set up a swinging metal gate.

The gate surprised me, mom had been asking for one for years but dad always shot her down, telling her they were too expensive.

David shifted underneath me and pulled my thoughts out of the past and into the now. Shifting around a bit I looked up at him. He had one hand behind his head and the other wrapped around my shoulders. His eyes were closed and he had a small smile on face as well.

I shifted around till I was straddling one of his legs and braced my hands on either side of his torso. David looked up at me, startled, but before he could say anything I leaned down and gave him a quick kiss.

“Not that I’m complaining but what was that for?” he asked as I pulled back, brushing my nose against his.

“Let’s get out of here. We’re done for the day. We can go for a swim or something.” I whispered to him, I wanted to get away, go some place were I didn’t have to worry about my dad catching us.

David smiled before moving onto his elbows and giving me a quick kiss before he responded.

“You’ll have to get off me first.”

I scrambled off David and helped him to his feet. We made down the ladder and had Elder and Shadow saddled in record time.

“Don’t we need to tell mom where we’re going?” David’s words froze me in my tracks. I turned to find David standing frozen next to Shadow, his face pale.

I let Elder stand on his own, knowing he wouldn’t take off, and walked over to him.

“Your mom, Annie, that’s what I meant to say. I didn’t mean that she was mine, she’s not. I know that. I didn’t mean to say that.” David rushed out in a panic.

I put my hands on David’s shoulders and ran my thumbs up and down his neck, hoping to calm him down.

“What were you thinking when you said that?” I asked him quietly.

David closed his eyes and shook his head.

I took a chance and moved closer to him, pressing my forehead against his.

“You can tell me anything David, you know that.” I said quietly and he nodded slightly.

“I will…later…I promise. Can we just go first, please?” David all but begged. I knew that this was something important and I didn’t want him to close off but I also knew enough about him to know not to push too much.

“Yea, but I’ll hold you to that. And don’t worry about mom, she won’t care.” I replied as I pulled away and swung up onto Elder.

                                                           *          *          *

Thankfully Billy didn’t bring up my little slip as he led us through the trees to where ever in the hell we were going. It was times like these that I was thankful that I had such a good connection with Shadow; I could trust him to follow Elder and Billy without having to worry about him straying.

Not having to worry about consciously following Billy and Elder left my mind free to wander. I knew that Billy was gonna want to talk about my slip and to be honest I had no idea what I was going to tell him.

Annie was great, she was warm and sweet and she treated me like I was one of her kids. The longer I was around her the more I found myself wishing that I was one of her sons; that I could have experienced the love and warmth that Billy and Seth had.

‘And you wonder why you accidentally called her mom, because you want her to be; dumbass.’ I berated myself as I ducked under a branch.

I didn’t have much more time to think on it though, Billy was slowing down and within a few minutes we had come into a familiar clearing. This is where Billy and I always came when we wanted to get away from the world for awhile. We’d untacked the horses and let them stay in the clearing while the two of us went down to the river.

“Race ya.” Billy smiled at me and winked.

“I dunno about you Billy boy but there’s no swim suit under these,” I said as I patted my jeans, “Just a pair of boxer briefs and me. You know I’m not opposed to being naked with you but you never know who might wander up.”

Billy’s smile got wider as he pulled off his shirt and kicked off his boots.

“I guess it’s just you, me, and our skivvies then.” He said as he pushed his jeans off to reveal a pair of bright red boxer briefs.

Billy left his clothes sitting in the shade of the trees by the clearing before running to the river and diving into the water. I couldn’t help but watch as his firm ass flexed and moved under the red fabric.

“You gonna stand there or you gonna come get wet?” Billy called out as he surfaced, blonde hair clinging to his forehead, sun shining on his wet skin.

I grabbed one of the blankets we always brought with us when we went for a ride or a swim before stripping down to my boxer briefs, black in my case, and followed after him. Unlike Billy, who showed off a near perfect forward dive, I cannon balled in; splashing Billy in the process.

“It’s about time.” Was all the warning I got before Billy jumped at me. The water slowed him down though; I managed to grab Billy as he came at me. Hugging him tight around the waist I twisted and tossed him back first into the water. The sneaky shit got me though; he grabbed one of my arms and yanked me in with him.

“Bastard.” I muttered to him as we struggled up to the surface, breathing hard.

“If only,” Billy laughed as he stretched, showing off his tight and toned torso perfectly, “My life may have been easier but who knows what else would have happened. Seth might never have left, never met Marisa and my future niece or nephew might never be born.”

I wadded over to Billy and wrapped my arms around his waist and nuzzled into his neck.

“And you might not have grown into the sweet, strong, stubborn and just fucking perfect man you are today.” I whispered against his skin.

I felt the heat radiate off Billy’s skin as he blushed and I smiled as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I’m not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination.” Billy mumbled into my ear.

I moved a hand up to the back of Billy’s head, caressing the wet strands as I placed little kisses on his neck, throat and shoulder.

“You’re perfect to me, and it’s not my imagination.” I felt Billy’s chest vibrate as he rumbled something I couldn’t understand in answer.

Billy’s hand’s left my waist and dipped into the water around me. I shivered a bit as he brought handfuls of water up and smoothed them over my body. I followed his example and mimicked him. Soon the handfuls of water disappeared and it was just the two of us running our slick hands over each others bodies.

“You know all of our intimate moments seem to be tied into water.” I whispered as I slipped my hands under the water to grasp the firm globes of his ass.

Billy chuckled and ran his hand up my torso and around my neck, linking his fingers behind my head.

“I dunno, and I don’t much care.” He said before leaning in and pressing his lips against mine.

I pressed my groin into Billy’s as I swiped my tongue across his lower lip. Billy groaned softly and swept his tongue against mine.

“Always, always so sweet and tangy.” I muttered as I moved from his lips down to his neck, licking the little droplets of water away.

“Extra OJ, just for you.” Billy laughed quietly, his fingers tangling in my hair and guiding me lower.

Instead of going lower I stood up straight and took his hands in mine.

“Come on.” Billy smiled shyly at me as I guided him back to the river bank.

Back on dry land I lay out the blanket and helped Billy lay down. Billy looked up at me, his baby blue eyes bright and beautiful, full of love and trust and need.

I pushed his legs wide and settled myself between them. Resting on my hands I hovered over him, brushing my lips against his and pulling back when he tried to reciprocate.

“Tease.” Billy whispered hoarsely.

I just shook my head and continued my exploration. I trailed my nose over his skin, down his cheek and across his chin and down to his neck. I pressed a kiss to his throat and licked across his Adams apple.

Then Billy's hands were on my sides, they stroked up from my waist to my under arms then back down over my chest and stomach. The feel of Billy’s calloused and work roughened hands over my skin made me shiver. No simple touch had ever affected me the way Billy’s did and I couldn’t imagine that any after it ever would.

‘If I ever let anyone else touch me like this, after I leave here.’ The thought erupted in my head before I could stop it and the weight of knowing that I’d be gone soon and that I’d never get to feel this again.

“Don’t David,” Billy’s words snapped my thoughts and I realized that I had frozen in place with my face buried in Billy’s neck, “Don’t think about it, stay here with me. This is all that matters, here, right now.” Billy’s words brought tears to my eyes, I tried to resist as his hand cupped my neck ; guiding me to look up at him. I didn’t want him to see.

Billy won though and when our eyes met I realized I wasn’t the only one crying. I didn’t want to think about it and I didn’t want him to either. I moved to lie on my side and pulled Billy to me, tangling our legs together as I crashed my lips against his.

He was reluctant for a moment but gave in and slipped it tongue out and swiped it against the seam of my lips. It was easy to realize that Billy wanted to control the kiss so I relaxed and let him take over, let him guide me.

With Billy in control of our mouths I was able to let my hands wander over his smooth skin. My fingers traced over the contours of his muscles, memorizing ever dip and curve and ridge of skin, bone and sinew.

Billy pulled away and whimpered against my lips as I gently pinched and tugged at one of his nipples. Billy retaliated by running his blunt nails across the sensitive patch of skin on my side, the sensation caught me somewhere between pleasure and pain.

It was damn good.

I buried my face in Billy’s neck again, this time inhaling the warm, earthy scent of his skin. Billy wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled my groin into his, his hard cock butting against mine through our damp underwear as I racked my teeth down his collarbone to his chest.

I fought the urge to clamp my teeth onto the hard muscle of his shoulder as we ground hard into each other, driving one another to completion. I wanted to mark him, claim him, I wanted everyone who saw him to look at him and know that at least for now he was mine.

‘You don’t need to leave a physical mark, show him how much you want him, how much you love and need him. Show him what love is, what he means to you. He’ll never forget.’ Part of my mind whispered.

Slipping my hand under the waistband of his boxer briefs I squeezed the firm muscle of his ass and pulled him as close and tight to me as I could, grinding against him as hard as I could.

Billy groaned loudly and forced my head up so he could press his lips against mine, the rough brush of his taste buds against mine as I licked into the hot cavern of his mouth made Billy shake and whimper deep in his throat.

His fingers bit into my side hard as Billy groaned into my mouth as his body froze against mine. I felt new warmth seep through the fabric of our underwear as Billy came hard. All it took was a few weak grinds against Billy’s semi hard cock before I came as well.

I rolled Billy onto his back and as he panted to catch his breath I kissed and licked his sweaty chest, enjoying the sharp taste against my tongue. Soon enough Billy caught his breath and pulled me up to kiss me. Unlike before this kiss was long, slow and languid.

We stayed lip locked till the need for air pushed us a part, we stayed close to each other, brushing our noses together between short chaste kisses as we looked into each other’s eyes.

Billy smiled at me and stood up and reached out a hand and pulled me up with him. Still smiling he made something of a show of skinning off his boxer briefs and cleaning himself with the still wet fabric.

I admit I was kind of fascinated as he pulled his foreskin back to clean underneath it. It took a lot of effort not to drop to my knees and inspect the soft flesh up close. Once he was done he tossed the soiled fabric next to the blanket and waded over to the river.

“You coming?” He called after me, breaking my trance.

Shaking myself I followed his example then went after him.

We used the water to clean up further but it was mostly just an excuse to touch each other. I ran my fingertips down the slightly irritated red lines of skin where I had scraped my teeth, making him shiver.

I leaned forward and licked the overly sensitive skin before resting my chin on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his waist. Billy mirrored my position and pressed a kiss against my neck.

We stayed like that for a long while, touching from toe to chin as the cool water swirled around us. Before too long passed the sky overhead started to darken with gray clouds and a distant rumble of thunder sounded.

“I guess we should get back, I thought the weather was supposed to be nice today.” Billy said quietly as he pulled away.

We walked hand in hand back to the bank. After we collected out soiled underwear and our blanket we walked up to the tree where we had stashed our clothing and got dressed.

Soon we had Elder and Shadow saddled and were on our way back to the house. As we rode the sky continued to darken and just as we finally came into sight of the house a bolt of lightening arced across the sky, spooking Elder and Shadow as it went.

“Whoa boy, calm down, it’s alright.” Billy crooned as Elder danced skittishly on the spot.

“We need to get these guys back into the barn, fast.” I said as I stroked Shadow’s neck, ironically he hadn’t acted as severely as Elder.

“Yea, let’s go.” Billy said as he wheeled Elder to face the barn and took off at a quick trot.

I followed after him as fast as I safely could. We had just made it into the barn and dismounted when a peal of thunder rent the air. Shadow tore out of the light grip I had on the reins and bolted toward the back of the barn.

I didn’t have the chance to go after him though, the thunder strike had spooked Elder worse, he tossed his head and reared back on his hind legs. Billy had been standing close to his front and Elder’s neck and smacked him in the face, dazing him and knocking him to the floor.

“BILLY!!!” I shouted and tried to move to his side. Elder stood between us though and as he came down on his front hooves he turned in my direction, his eyes wild. He continued to stamp his hooves and every time I tried to move closer to him he took a skittering step back, toward Billy’s prone body.

Not wanting him to trample Billy I froze in place and tried to figure out what to do. Going for help was out. William would just shoot him and Annie was too afraid to get close to Elder.

Fear

‘Horses, like any other animal, can sense when you’re afraid or nervous. They pick up on that and act accordingly,’

I stood up straight and breathed deep, trying to calm down and clear my head.

“Easy boy, its ok, come’ere.” I called softly to Elder, keep my hands up and open like Billy had taught me.

Elder snorted and tossed his head a little but took a tentative step toward me.

“That’s a good boy. Come on big guy. Come’ere so I can get your tack off you.” I moved closer to him as I spoke and Elder continued to creep closer to me.

Once we were in touching distance I ran my hand up and down the side of his head and between his eyes, both motions I knew helped calm him down.

“Billy, you ok?” I asked as I looked around Elder to see Billy sitting up.

“Yea I’m just dazed, I was waiting to see if you got him under control before I got up. I didn’t want to risk spooking him more.” He replied as he stood up and shakily came up to my side.

I put an arm around his waist as he too put a hand on Elders head to calm the horse down.

Together we got both him and Shadow calmed down and put back in their stalls. Once we made sure they would both be ok I pulled Billy into my arms and held him tight.

“Fuck I was scared when I saw you hit the ground. Don’t you dare fucking do that to me again.” I fought back the tears as I buried my face in his shoulder.

Billy held me tight and ran his hand up and down my back.

“I’m sorry David; I was scared too. Elder hasn’t spooked that bad in a long time. You handled it good though, Elder’s never reacted that well to anyone but me.” Billy replied as he pressed against my neck.

I smiled into his shoulder and pulled back and pressed my forehead against his.

“I learned from the best. It was your lessons that taught me what to do.”

Billy smiled at me and gave me a quick kiss before taking my hand and leading me up to the entrance of the barn. The rain was coming down in buckets now so it was unlikely that anyone was going to see us.

“I’m glad something I taught you has stuck with you.” Billy said as we leaned back against one of the doors just inside the safety of the barn.

“Everything about you has stuck with me Billy. And it always will.” I replied and Billy blushed.

“Same here.” He whispered so low that the rain almost drowned the words out.

I moved so that we were standing toe to toe and reached out and took his hands in mine.

We stood there in silence just looking each other over as the rain pounded down. After a second Billy smiled at me and pulled me out into the rain. The water was cold and heavy as it poured onto our heads and shoulders but none of that mattered as Billy closed his eyes and turned his face to the sky. Smiling he took his hands out of my grip and ran them over his face and through his hair, like he was washing away his worries and pain.

Following his example I ran my hands through my hair and turned my face to the sky. I let the rain wash it all away, nothing mattered, nothing existed except for this minute, except for Billy.

‘I’ll be gone soon…but I’ll never forget him or the time I’ve been here.’ I thought to myself and as I opened my eyes and looked at Billy, I knew he wouldn’t forget me either.

                                                           *          *          *

After me and David had gotten inside and we dried off and changed I went to find mom, leaving David to his own devices for awhile.

“Hey, have you read Seth’s letter?” I asked once I cornered her in the kitchen.

“Yes I have, have you read yours?” She asked with a grin.

“Yea. What do you think about his idea, do you think we can take the risk.” I asked her quietly.

Mom chewed on her lower lip for a moment, I knew that was a bad sign; it meant she was worried.

“You don’t think it’s a good idea do you?” I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice; I didn’t want her to feel bad.

“Oh honey, I would love to be able to talk to Seth as much as you and I’m not as worried about your father finding out as what he’d do if he did. Baby I don’t want to see anything happen to you.” She said as she cupped my cheek.

I put one of my hands over hers and met her eyes, wanting to try and see if she was saying what I thought she was.

“Do you really think he’d hurt me if he found out?” I asked carefully, wondering what her answer would be.

Mom chewed her lower lip again before shaking her head.

“No baby, not really. I just…I just don’t know what he’d do. I know you’ve been through so much, I just don’t want you to be hurt anymore.” Mom was holding tears so I put a hand on her cheek and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

“Let me take the risk mom. Nothing dad could do or say would compare to getting to talk to Seth again. Please.” I didn’t know if she would do it or not but I had to try and convince her.

Mom gave me a wane smile but nodded her head.

“Let me think about it honey. I just…I don’t know.” She replied and I nodded before giving her another kiss on the forehead.

I left mom to her cooking and headed back upstairs to find David. Pushing open the door to the dinning room I ran straight into someone and for one second I thought it was my dad.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized it was just David.

“Shit, sorry ‘bout that. I didn’t know you were there.” I said with a smile, David gave me a strange look.

“No worries. You’re looking pretty relived though, you expecting someone else?” He asked with a small smirk.

“No, I was just worried that it was Dad; he’d probably berate me for bumbling around.” I replied and David looked skeptical.

David took me by my wrist and pulled me upstairs to my room. Once we were inside he turned to look at me quizzically.

“What were you and your mom talking about?” David asked as he sat down on his bed.

“Nothing important.” I replied, wondering what he had heard.

“So talking over Seth’s idea about the cell phone isn’t important,” He asked quietly, “Why you lying to me Billy? Why didn’t you have me come with you? I might have been able to help you convince her.” David looked up at me with a sad look on his face.

I sighed and sat down next to him and put my arm around his waist.

“That’s why I didn’t have you come with me. If mom says yes and we do this and it goes bad…I didn’t want you to get involved in it. Dad would pull you into it and you’d end up getting in trouble along with me.” I told him quietly.

David looked over to me and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“I guess I can’t fault you for looking out for me. However having heard you say that I wonder if I should offer you the use of this?” David said as he pulled a black cell phone from under his mattress.

“Where did you get that from?” I knew he hadn’t been allowed to bring it with him.

“My uncle gave it to me. Incase of emergency. He wouldn’t care if it was used for other stuff.” David smiled as he flipped it open.

“You’re serious. You’d let me call Seth?” I asked in disbelief.

David smiled and put the phone in my hand. I stared down at the little black phone, Seth’s cell number swimming through my mind. I flipped it open and had Seth’s number half way dialed before I turned to David.

“What time is it in Colorado?”

David smiled and looked at the clock by my headboard.

“It’s three here so it should be about one there. If I remember my time zone correctly.” He replied with a smile.

I smiled back and even though my hands were shaking a bit I managed to finish dialing the number.

It rang so many times that I figured I was just going to get the voicemail and just as I had resigned myself to leaving a message someone picked up.

“S.M.T Ranch, Seth Templeton speaking, how can I help you?” Seth’s deep baritone caused my breath to hitch; it’d been a long time since I heard his voice.

“Hello, anyone there?” He said again and it took David nudging me in the shoulder to get me to respond.

“H…hey big brother.” I replied stupidly, it was the only thing I could think of.

Seth gasped and I heard a dull thud on his end of the phone, as if he had dropped something.

“This had better not be some kind of joke or a wrong number….Billy?” He asked his voice hoarse.

“I know it’s been awhile but don’t you even recognize my voice anymore?” I asked, feeling much better knowing he was as nervous as I was.

“Holy shit…it really is you. I’d recognize that cocky draw anywhere. It’s damn good to hear from you Billy. How are you calling, I don’t recognize this number? Are you at a friend’s or did you get a cell? I told you and mom in my letters that I’d buy it.” Seth’s voice was a mixture of indignation, happiness and worry all at the same time.

“It’s good to hear you too Seth. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you.” I replied, unable to go on because of the lump in my throat.

“Oh yes I do little brother…You’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you. Not being able to see or talk to you made it feel like I was missing a part of myself.” I could hear the emotion in Seth’s voice and could practically see him crying, just like I was.

I had to swallow hard before I couldn’t say anything, it took me a few moments but as David wrapped an arm around my waist it helped to calm me down.

“Sounds about right big bro…To answer you though no I’m not at a friend’s house, and I no, I didn’t get a cell. Mom is still debating on whether or not it’s a good idea for you to get us one. David, the friend of mine that’s staying for the summer, let me use his phone to call you.” I told him and Seth chuckled.

“He’s a friend of yours now huh? I guess that’s a good thing. Your letters have been kinda vague where he’s concerned. Tell him I said thanks for letting you call, if it’s gonna run his bill up I’ll be more than happy to mail him some cash for it.” Seth said and I felt the back of my neck creep, the tone of Seth’s voice made it pretty clear that he was very interested in David.

“I’ll tell him, he’s annoyingly noble though; I doubt he’d let you pay him for talking to me.” David smiled at me and shook his head as I spoke, mouthing the words ‘No way’ as he did so.

“Well the boy has definitely earned my favor for this, and you make sure he knows that if he needs something just to let me know and I’ll make it happen if it’s in my ability,” Seth’s voice was solemn for a moment before he perked up, “How are you two really getting along….You’re letters said he’s been helping you through some things. I ain’t gonna ask what they are; you’ll tell me when you can. But he’s not using this to his advantage or anything is he? Making trouble at all for you?” Seth asked, ever protective.

“No Seth, nothing like that. Me and David get along really well, and we work together real well too. We’ve already got all the repairs and rebuilds that Dad wanted done, at least the ones mom will let us do. I actually think he’s making stuff up to keep us busy.” I said before telling him about replacing the poles in the corral and setting up a metal gate.

“Yea it sounds like the old man is grasping at straws. Being a beach bum an all he probably figured David wouldn’t be any use on the farm.” Unlike dad Seth was being playful; he didn’t really mean any insult to David.

“Yea he’s really shown him up, David’s got quiet the construction background. He’s helped build houses before and from what I understand he’s studying to be an architect.” I winked at David as I spoke and he gave me a quizzical look.

“Well that’s good. It makes me feel better knowing that you’ve been working with someone who can keep up with you. You’ve always been a good hand at hard labor Billy. You’ve got a lot more to offer than a strong neck and back though Billy boy, you’ve got skill and talent. Don’t you ever forget that; don’t let Dad take it away from you.” Seth’s voice held an undercurrent of authority that I hadn’t heard in a long time and unlike Dad’s authority, cold and unyielding, Seth’s was tempered by understanding and even a little bit of praise.

Without even meaning to I sat up a little straighter and nodded my head, before realizing that he couldn’t see me.

“I dunno how skilled and talented I am Seth but I won’t forget.” I replied and David nudged me again, his stern look silently berated me for being down on myself.

“Yea ‘cause a lot of country boys can play classical violin pieces like an expert after two months of lessons and teenagers frequently train abused, near wild stallions.” The sarcasm in Seth voice was heavy but it still made me blush a bit.

“It sounds great when you say it like that…you make it sound like I hung the moon.” I told him and Seth chuckled quietly.

“Unless you’ve got other plans I want you to come here after you graduate Billy. I know Sam and the others are going away; Sam told me in her letters, and Mom will understand. What you’ll be doing here ain’t much different than what you’re doing there at home. You might even like it.” Seth reiterated the offer from his letter and I realized I’d never given him an answer.

“I’ve got to think about that a bit more Seth. I’ll give you an answer soon. I promise.” I told him quietly. I really wanted to go out there but there were a few things that I needed to take care of first.

“You’d better little brother. I hate to say this but I’ve got to go. I have a meeting I need to get to. If you can I want you to call me back soon. I miss you Billy. And I love you.” Seth said quietly.

“I’ll do my best Seth. I promise. I love you too.” I said but kept the phone to my ear for a few moments after Seth had hung up.

After a minute, when the reality that I had just talked to my brother for the first time in a long time finally sank in, I closed the phone and handed it back to David. As he took it I leaned and kissed him hard before wrapping my arms tight around him.

“You don’t have any idea how much that meant to me.” I whispered as I buried my face in his neck.

David held on to me tight and pressed a kiss against the side of my neck before he spoke.

“Yea I do, a little bit. You can call him anytime you want Billy. And between the two of us, I think it’s a good idea to let him get y’all a phone.” David replied and I felt him smile against my neck.

I pulled away and smiled back at him. With the rain showing no sign of letting up and since dad was down talking to Mr. Murphy about the roof and mom was doing god knew what I convinced David to lay back on his bed with me.

“What all did you two talk about?” David asked as I settled down against his chest, my arms wrapped around him.

I told him everything that Seth and I had said. He smiled and agreed with Seth that I had talent and he sympathized when I told him about my worries for going to Colorado.

“I’m sure your mom would adapt Billy. She’d want you to be happy. Your dad…I honestly don’t know. He’d probably get over it eventually.” It was easy to tell that David didn’t believe a word of the last part of his statement but I let it drop, for now.

“I can’t leave Elder here if I go.” I said after a while. I couldn’t even think about leaving Elder behind if I left.

“I know. To be honest I don’t think either of you would survive too long without one another. You’re a part of each other.” With my head on his chest I couldn’t see it but I could hear the faint smile in David’s voice.

A truer statement had never been made. Elder and I had a connection. We were both tormented by my dad, and we both overcame what he’d done to us and learned to trust; Elder with my help and me with David’s. There was no way I could leave Elder if I went to Colorado.

There wasn’t much else to say after that so I closed my eyes and made myself comfortable and let myself slip into a light doze.

                                                           *          *          *

The next week passed as uneventfully as the last few had with nothing more dramatic happening than Elder getting a little wild with me when we tried to see if he would work with me without Billy around.

It didn’t start off all bad. I managed to get him out of the barn but then old man Templeton roared into the driveway in his beat up old pick-up, gravel flying as his tires spun. I dunno if it was the noise or the sight of his old tormentor but Elder went stiff legged and tossed his head, knocking me away.

Elder probably would’ve done a lot worse but Billy, who had been hiding nearby just incase something bad happened, intervened and got the horse calmed down before he could bolt, or worse.

Fortunately though the mishap hadn’t set our progress back too far, Elder was still more than willing to walk with me and let me be in charge of him, so long as his master was within his sight.

“Hey city boy.” Sam’s voice broke me out of my thoughts as I spread straw in the horse stalls.

I finished spreading the straw I had in my arms before I turned to face the pint sized red head.

“Hey Scrappy.” I replied, smiling at her scornful look. I’d never tell her but a few days ago I had finally broken Billy down and got him to reveal the origins of his and Seth’s Scrappy taunts.

It turned out the Samantha had been a Scooby Doo fan when she was a kid and one of her most prized possessions was a stuffed Scrappy Doo. Even though I didn’t let her know I was privy to her little secret I still called her Scrappy whenever I had the chance, just to annoy her.

“Laugh it up city slicker,” Sam replied without too much head in her voice, “Where’s Billy at? I figured he’d be in here, you two are joined at the hip most of the time these days.” Sam replied and I had to wonder if I was hearing a shadow of suspicion in her voice.

“You make that sound like that’s a bad thing Sammy,” I said with a wide smile and a wink, “Billy however ain’t here. He’s up at the house, working with Jack Murphy on the roof.” I replied as I walked over to the small water cooler and got myself a drink.

“I didn’t think Annie was letting you guys work on the roof, too dangerous.” Sam cocked an eyebrow at me.

“She wasn’t, at least not on our own. I guess Murphy has experience with roofing so after all the help William has given him the last few months he agreed to fix the roof.” I replied and Sam nodded.

“Well that’s good I guess. You’ll be able to move into the guest room when the repairs are done. It must really suck sharing a room with Billy.” Sam’s voice was carefully light but her eyes told a different story, she was fishing.

“I don’t really mind. I could have worse roommates than Billy. He’s a heavy sleeper so I don’t have to worry about waking him if I need to get up in the middle of the night. He doesn’t snore either.” I didn’t know, for sure at least, what Sam was looking for but I wasn’t going to give it to her without a fight.

“Oh I understand that. I’ve had a few sleepovers with Billy when we were younger. He was actually a kind of clingy sleeper, always had to have something in his arms, usually he’d pull his pillow from under his head. He still does anything like that?” She asked with a casual air.

I had to suppress a smile. Billy was a clingy sleeper, not in a bad way, but he did like to cuddle. At least when the two of us were in bed together, which had been happening more and more lately; when it was just him though I never noticed him holding on to anything.

“I wouldn’t know; I don’t pay that much attention to how he sleeps. We’re friends but were not that close.” I told her and Sam’s eyes flashed.

“Exactly how close are you then?” She asked, her voice had lost its casual tone and taken on an edge of seriousness.

Realizing that I had screwed up and given Sam her opening I adopted as much casualness and confusion as I could.

“I just told you Sam, we’re friends. We haven’t known each other as long but I figure we’re about as close as the two of you, or at least as close as he is to Chris and Walker.” I replied, hoping Sam would stop digging, I realized now what she was looking for.

“Don’t bullshit me David,” Sam spat, suddenly irate, “I saw how Billy was after you shot him down, he was lovesick enough to go off with Candace of all people. Are you really gonna stand there and try and tell me that all that is just water under the bridge?”

I really didn’t want to be having this conversation with Sam, for several reasons. The biggest one being that I didn’t want a lie to later come back to bite me in the ass with her. I already knew that Sam held grudges and didn’t forgive easily. If I told her that nothing was going on between me and Billy and if he told her later that there was she’d come at me guns blazing. It wouldn’t matter if I was only doing what Billy wanted me to do.

Not wanting to lie or tell the truth I decided to try and segue.

“He didn’t go off with Candy. He thought he had misjudged her and was giving her a second chance. He did that because that’s what Billy does, big heart and all that. He sure as hell didn’t do it because he was pinning after me and looking for a replacement, she doesn’t have the right equipment after all.” I replied, happy to see that Sam looked stymied. Sadly it didn’t last too long.

“You can spout all the crap out that you want Baily but I know Billy a lot better than you do. I know he’s a got a big heart and I know he gets attached to things…to people. Since Seth lit out on his own he’s kept himself to himself mostly, some might even say that’s a good thing given how easily he gets attached, it’s kept him from getting hurt; if you get my meaning.” Sam said; it wasn’t like she could get any blunter.

“I don’t think I do Samantha, why don’t you explain it a bit better.” I pretty much figured out what she was chasing but I wanted her to say it.

Sam looked me in the eye for a long moment and I had to wonder if she was going to say anything more. Just when I had given it up as a lost cause and was gonna tell her to beat it so I could finish my work she spoke up, her voice low.

“I mean, city boy, that you won’t be here much longer. ‘Bout another month and a half right? I know how Billy feels about you and I’m pretty sure you feel the same.

I don’t want you leading him on or making promises to him that you can’t keep. Don’t give him the hope that he’s been looking for for a long time that you can’t make good on. Billy needs, and deserves, someone that can stand by him through thick and thin, be there for him when he needs it, someone a phone call away…country away and we both know that ain’t you.” Sam’s words cut into me like a knife through paper. I wanted to be angry at the accusations but in my heart I knew she was right. What Billy and I were doing was only gonna cause him to hurt.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing were not involved then huh,” I replied with a cocky smile, “If you’ll excuse me though I’ve got a lot of work to get done so unless you want to help shovel horse shit I’d like you to get going. Your air of bitchiness and self righteousness is distracting.” I probably ruined the nonchalant effect I was trying to create in order to keep her from finding out just how close to the truth she actually was but part of me didn’t care, I wanted her gone.

“You just keep what I said in mind.” She said before turning to leave the barn.

I watched her walk away for a moment, silently wondering if Billy would be upset if I shoved a pitch fork through her back, before I turned back to the horse stall to finish my work.

Try as I might though, I wasn’t able to get Sam’s warning out of my head. I already knew everything she was telling me, I had been over on my own and with Bill several times. We both knew how the other felt and while I was willing to force everything back down inside I don’t think Billy was.

‘If only I didn’t live on the other side of the country.’ I thought to myself as I worked on cleaning Elder’s stall.

Being closer really would solve all my problems, well, most of them at least. Billy and I would get to stay together and see where our relationship would go and I would be able to stay around Billy and the others.

Billy wasn’t the only one I had fallen in loved with. I loved Annie too, and Chris, Walker….and even Sam when she wasn’t being a bitch, had become the best friends I ever had.

As I worked a thought came to me, something that seemed both genius and insane at the same time.

‘Annie, Billy and the others all like having me around…William hates me so he would be an obstacle…I’ve begged him once though….doing it again wouldn’t be so bad. Dad…he’d be another problem. I’m sure he wouldn’t be keen on my idea but if he heard how well I had been doing out here…he might just go for it.’ I thought to myself and seemingly on it’s own a plan began to form in my mind.

Smiling at my new idea I went back to my work.

                                                           *          *          *

Mr. Murphy and I and just got to the ground when Sam came around the corner, her bright red hair pulled back into a ponytail.

“Hey Sam, what are you doing up here?” I asked as she stepped close to me, ignoring the fact that I was soaked in sweat and stank of roofing tar, and gave me a hug.

“Do I need a reason to come see my favorite man?” She asked sweetly as she pulled away.

I quirked an eyebrow at her, Sam was rarely sweet.

“No but with as much time as you’ve been spending with him I figured Julian had been given that title.” I replied and was gifted with sight of Sam blushing something she swore she wasn’t capable of doing.

“Yea well he hasn’t, you will always be my number one Billy,” She replied seriously, “Plus him, Walker and Chris are off doing god knows what so I can’t really be with him right now anyway.”

“Oh so you come and see me as a last resort, I see how you are.” I told her as I started to help Mr. Murphy gather up the materials from off the ground. We were about done with the roof. A few more days and we’d have everything finished.

“Ok I admit that I have been a little preoccupied lately, but what can I say. It happens. I’m sorry.” It always amazed me how Sam could apologize and it sound NOTHING like an apology, at all.

Before I could say anything else though Mr. Murphy turned around started at the sight of Sam.

“It can’t be Miss Sammy Cain. Girl you’ve done gone and grown up on me.” He said and I had to resist the urge to pummel him as he looked Sam slowly up and down, the lecherous grin making it obvious what he was thinking.

Sam offered up a wicked smile as she spoke but Mr. Murphy didn’t seem to notice it.

“That’s what time does to you Mr. Murphy. I was really sorry to hear that Candace left again. I was really looking forward to catching up with her.” Sam said innocently, well it was innocent to someone who didn’t know her. If you did then you realized that it was just her being condescending.

The effect was immediate and just what Sam was going for I’m sure. Mr. Murphy’s face lost it lecherous smile and turned into more of a grimace. With a huff he turned and when back to what he was doing.

“Yea well, some things can’t be helped.” He muttered as he turned away.

I glared a bit at Sam who just shrugged and went to wait for me on the back porch. Turning I helped Mr. Murphy put away the rest of the materials we were using.

“Was that really necessary?” I asked her once I was done. She was laying on the back porch swing and looked over to me with a raised eyebrow.

“He deserved it; you saw how he was looking at me. Pervert must run in that family.” She said as she watched Mr. Murphy’s truck pull out of the driveway.

“True, but still, you’re the reason his daughter left. It’s kind of evil to torment him like that.” I said as she moved her legs so I could sit down.

“Evil or not it was effective. So what are you doing the rest of the day?”

I leaned back against the padded head rest and went through the chores I would usually do. David was probably done with the horse stalls. The water trough was going to need emptied and scrubbed out, same with the feed trough. The corral was starting to stink a bit so I wanted to try and shovel out some of the excess manure. Speaking of manure, the compost pile needed to be rotated as well.

“Quite a bit, why? What are you wanting to do?” I asked her as I rolled my shoulders, trying to relieve the ache in my shoulders.

“Nothing really, I’m game for anything. I’m bored.” I had to chuckle a little bit, Sam was always bored.

“Well if you want you can stay here and help out some.” I told her before running down the list of chores that still needed to be done.

“You’ve got to be yanking my chain hillbilly when you think I’m gonna help you do any of that.” Sam scoffed.

“Don’t tell me that dating Julian had turned you into a girlie girl. Used to be that you didn’t mind rolling up your sleeves for a little dirty work.” I told her, causing Sam to glare at me.

“Get something straight right now Billy Boy. I am not now, have not been nor will I EVER be a girlie girl. I am still perfectly capable of doing good old fashioned manual labor. I just prefer not to if I can help it.” She replied with all of her usual snap and seriousness.

I smiled at her and leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, easing her brittle attitude.

“Don’t worry about it Sam, you’ll always be my girl; even if you are going soft on me. Beside me and David are more than capable of getting the rest of the work done.” I smiled and Sam rolled her eyes a bit.

“Yea I’m sure you two can take care of things. If you can keep from ogling each other long enough.” Sam scoffed.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, worried about what she was implying.

“Oh come on Billy, do I need to spell it out for you.” Sam asked as she swung her legs off my lap and sat up.

“Let’s go for a walk.” I said, worried about mom or dad overhearing what was being said.

Sam nodded and together we set off toward the horse corral. David was standing near the inside of the barn and as he made toward us; I waved him off discreetly. David’s expression became worried but he nodded and retreated back inside.

“Talk.” I said to her quietly.

“Alright, I’m just gonna come out and say it. I know something is going on between you and David and don’t tell me there isn’t. I’ve seen how you two look at each other, how you act around each other.” Sam said as she slipped her hands into her pockets.

Sam spoke with such certainty that I wasn’t sure if I could lie to her. I really wanted to keep what was going on between David and me quiet, if only because I knew Sam would have some sort of issue with it but at the same time if she already knew what did it matter?

“Maybe there is and maybe there isn’t. What would it matter anyway?” I asked as we came up to the horse corral.

“It would matter because he isn’t going to be here much longer. He’s leaving Billy. I know you, you’ve got so much heart and you feel things so deeply that no matter what it was that was going between you it would tear you apart when he had to leave. I don’t want to see you that hurt, Billy.” She said as she raised one of her hands to my neck.

“What if I was willing to take the hurt that I know would come if I were able to be with David, if only for a little while.” I said quietly.

“Why would you do that Billy?” Sam looked as confused as I had felt a few months ago.

“Because I love him.” I mumbled out without looking at her.

“Billy,” Sam started but before she could get started I headed her off.

“Don’t ask me how I can be in love with him or any of that other crap. I know everything that you’ll want to say to me. I do love David; I can’t help how I feel about him. I know David’s leaving soon and I know that it’s gonna kill me when he does but I honestly don’t care. I’ll take the pain if it means I can have some time with him.”

Sam let her hand fall from my cheek and tucked both hands back into her back pockets.

“There’s nothing I can say to change your mind is there? Nothing that I can do to get you to put a stop to this before you get in too deep?” She asked worriedly.

“It’s already too late for that, Sam.” I told her in an undertone, my neck and behind ears heating up as I remembered our camping trip and all the things we had done since.

Sam shook her head and turned to watch the horses.

“Jesus Billy…how could you go and get yourself mixed up with David. I understand he’s a nice guy and the only gay guy you’ve ever known beside Chris and Walker but…knowing that it’s impossible to pursue it after the summer…I just don’t understand.” She said quietly.

“I figure I could do it for the same reason you’ve gotten yourself mixed up with Julian.” I told her with a smile.

“It’s not the same thing, Billy.” She replied quietly.

“How is it not the same thing, Sam?” I asked curiously.

“Because I’m stronger than you Hill Billy,” She said as she turned to me, her eyes bright, “I can take it when Julian leaves. I’m not as deep as you are.” Sam did her best to sound convincing but I had to wonder if she even believed what she was saying.

I stepped up to Sam and put my arms around her waist and pulled her close. Sam came willingly and put her head on my chest.

“I think you’re just as deep as I am, if not deeper Sam. Yea you might be stronger than me but I’ve got a lot of experience dealing with pain. I’ll manage once David leaves.” I told her quietly. Sam stiffened in my arms and looked up at me.

“I don’t want you to go back to that place Billy. You hated yourself and I hated what you did to deal with it.” Sam’s voice was worried.

I shook my head before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

“I’ll never go back to cutting Sam. That’s one of the best things about David; he’s taught me how to cope.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” She said quietly.

“Sam…I don’t want to get hurt either but the simple fact of the matter is I need this. I need to feel and experience everything David is giving me if I ever want to have the guts to pursue a relationship with someone else once he’s gone.

I’m not delusional enough to think that what David and I have is gonna last forever, even if he lived right down the road. They always say that first loves never lasts so what’s the harm in exploring it while I’ve got the chance?” I couldn’t tell if I had convinced Sam with my little speech or not.

‘Probably not given that you don’t even believe half of what you just said.’ I thought silently as Sam stared up at me, calculating.

It was true. It didn’t matter if it was one year or ten years down the road. I’d never love anyone the way I did David. I loved everything about him; he was smart, sweet, strong and beautiful. I even liked the soft way he snored at night.

After a minute Sam nodded and pulled out of my grip, she even wiped her eyes a bit on the pretext of brushing a stray hair out of her face.

“I guess there’s nothing I can do or say. I just want you to know that no matter what happens Billy, I’m gonna be here for you.” She said as she took one of my hands in both of hers.

“I know Sammy, and I’ll be here for you too.” I said as I brought her hands up and pressed a kiss to them.

We stood there talking to each other for a little while before Sam decided she needed to get home and try and do some house work her mom had assigned her.

“So you’re not really bored, you’re just playing hooky.” I smiled as she glared at me.

“Whatever. Just remember there is a dance Saturday night. Chris and Walker expect you both to show up, Walker is playing again. And Chris and Julian have convinced him to try and sing.” Sam smiled as she spoke, for all her teasing about Walker not speaking she knew he would make a great singer.

Not that it would stop her from busting his balls after he was done.

“I promise we’ll be there, even if I have to drag David down the ladder again.” I told her and she smiled at the mention of David’s slight fear of heights.

“Good. Now walk me back to the driveway like a gentleman.” She said as she looped her arm through mine.

“I’ll walk you back to the driveway like a gentleman if you channel your inner cowgirl and walk the horses back to the barn with me.” I smiled as she cocked an eye brow at me.

“I think I can do that.”

I smiled and let go of Sam’s arm and opened the new gate on the corral. I let out a loud whistle and horses, herded somewhat by Elder, ambled over to me. I handed Sam Speckles lead and halter while I clipped Shadow’s onto him. Once they were ready to go I gave Elder, who stood patiently nearby, a tap on his hindquarters to get him going.

Sam watched the stallion go a little wide eyed, she always though it was amazing that I could get Elder to obey me with the ease that I could.

“You know you’d have a hell of a time catching up with him if he ever decided to run off on you.” She said as we walked back to the barn.

As unwilling as I was to admit it I knew she was right. Elder had never once ran off on me, if anything he usually ran TOWARD me when he got spooked, but that thought was never far from my mind.

“I know, I think about that every time I set him off on his own like that. I don’t think he’d go far, probably just back to the barn or up to the house but if dad ever saw him galloping off on his own, I wouldn’t be able to stop him from hurting him.” I told her quietly.

“Why not put a halter and lead on him then like you do these two?” She motioned to the other two horses.

“Honestly I don’t really know. Elder had never minded a lead and halter and I doubt he would care if I cinched one on to him. Maybe it’s because he listens to me so well. I don’t need to have a lead and halter on him for him to follow me and listen to me. I call to him he comes, I tell him to stop he stops.” I told her as Elder stopped outside the barn and waited on us.

“See what I mean?” I asked as I patted him on the flank and he moved into the barn toward his stall.

As we got the three of them settled into their stalls Elder snorted a little bit.

“I know you didn’t get your usual amount of exercise, let me and David get the corral cleaned up a little bit and the troughs cleaned and refilled and you can go back out.” I told him as I stroked him between his eyes.

Immediately Elder calmed down and nickered a bit, obviously pleased.

“Tell me the truth,” Sam said as I walked her to the drive way, “You don’t have some sort of freaky psychic connection to that horse do you?” I had to laugh at Sam’s question; it brought to mind a similar one David had asked me.

“No Sam, no psychic link or telepathy or anything like that. Elder and I just understand each other.” I told her, she never seemed to be able to get over how well I could handle him.

“If you say so,” She replied before going up on her tip toes and pressing a kiss to my cheek, “I’ll see you Saturday night if not before.”

I watched Sam walk away for a moment before heading back to the barn and climbing into the hay loft. Just like I figured he would be David was laying back on the little nest of straw that we had set up in the corner of the loft, well out sight from below.

We had set it up just after our camping trip as a little place where we could go to get some privacy. It wasn’t much and we didn’t dare do anything too extreme but it was nice just to have some place where we could go to just lay down with each other to relax for a little while.

“I thought I might find you up here.” I said as I lay down next to him, the bristly fodder shifting under the blanket we had lay down atop it.

“Yea well I figured you’d probably want to talk when you got done with Sam.” David said as he wrapped an arm around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder.

“What makes you say that?” I asked as I slid one arm underneath him so I could pull him closer to me.

“You had that look you get when something serious is going on.” David replied with a wane smile, he really did know me well.

I let out a sigh and in the interest of keeping everything straight between us I told him everything Sam and I had talked about. As I spoke David’s face became more and more inscrutable until I had no hope of figuring out what he was feeling.

“Yea that’s pretty much what she said to me too before she went to find you.” He said quietly before he related to me the conversation the two of them had had, one that Sam neglected to mention.

“It sounds like she didn’t get what she wanted out of you so she came and got it from me.” I whispered to him once he was done.

“She didn’t get what she wanted out of you either. She knew we were involved with each other; confirmation wasn’t what she was looking for. She wants us to break off what we’re doing. Keep you from getting hurt by me leaving.” David replied equally quiet.

I rolled over and shifted my position until I was lying face to face with David.

“David…it wouldn’t matter if we broke things off now or later. It’ll still hurt like a bitch. Time doesn’t make much difference in this case.” I told him seriously.

“Time…time can pull you in deeper, make you feel more than what you feel now. Make you more invested.” He replied without meeting my eyes.

I moved closer to David and rubbed my nose against his as I lay a hand on his waist.

“I can’t be more invested than I am now David, and I think we both know that.” David blushed and smiled a bit before pressing his forehead against mine.

“You know how I feel about you, I just hate to know what this is going to cause when I leave.” David replied sadly.

“Let me ask you something David, how are you going to feel when this ends? Is it going to hurt you to go back to California and leave me here?” I asked him quietly, everyone was so worried about me but no one seemed to care about David’s well being, not even him.

David was silent for a moment before he swallowed hard and nodded his head carefully.

“I’m gonna feel like shit; being here, not just being with you but being here has been one of the best times of my life and I don’t want it to end. I don’t want to leave you because you mean so damn much to me and I want you in my life.” David’s declaration was the closest he’d come to saying I love you in a while so it made me smile.

“So it’s agreed, we’re both gonna feel like shit when our time together is up. It wouldn’t matter if we broke things off now or the day before you have to leave. So why don’t we just forget about it and take the time we have left and make the most of it, consequences be damned.” My proposition was a simple solution to a not so simple problem but after a minute David smiled and closed the gap between us to press a kiss to my lips.

“I agree.” He whispered as he pulled me close.

We stayed together like that for a little while longer before I managed to convince him that we needed to get up and get busy on what was left of our chores.

By the end of the day David had acquired a distinct hatred for composting after helping me stir the heap.

“What exactly is this for?” He asked from under the bandana he had tied over his mouth and nose in an attempt to ward of the smell of dung and rot.

“Fertilizer.” I told him, a grin concealed under my own bandana.

After all the work was done for the day and the two of us had showered we helped mom cook dinner, (more like we cooked dinner ourselves while mom supervised) and after we ate we went upstairs to relax.

Before we went to bed David rubbed the ache out of my shoulders that had been sitting there all day from my work on the roof. The domesticity of the day brought a pang of longing into my chest. I could easily get too used to this, working through the day, making and having dinner with him, and ultimately spending the night in bed with David was an all too enticing fantasy.

With a little imagination I could even see the two of use going to school together with Sam, Walker and Chris and shoveling snow and splitting wood to sell in the winter.

‘He’d probably hate having to check on the horses when the temp got too low. It would make the trips to check the kerosene heaters easier, we could alternate’ I thought with a small smile.

“What are you over there smiling about?” David asked from his bed. It was one of the few nights he managed to convince me to sleep on my own, sighting that being crammed into bed with him would bother my back.

“I’m just remembering Sam’s expression the first time you called her Scrappy. She looked like she was either about to die, or kill you.” I lied smoothly, not wanting him to get upset with what I had been thinking about.

“Yea that was pretty funny.” David replied sleepily as he turned his bedside lamp off.

I just smiled as the room was plunged into darkness and David snuggled in under his blanket.

“Just remember,” David’s voice was muffled from where he had his face buried in his pillow, “After she kills me she’ll be coming after you. No one else would have to stones to tell me what Scrappy was all about.”

That caused me to laugh hard, pretty much because it was true. NONE of our other friends would have the guts to speak of Sam’s Scrappy Doo infatuation.

Once I was done laughing I rolled over and let myself fall into sleep.

                                                           ~          ~          ~

The rest of the week went by pretty much like the first part of it had, working, riding and spending as much time with David as I could. We spent Saturday morning down at the river with Sam and the guys.

Somewhat reluctantly I filled the guys in on the change in mine and David’s relationship. To my surprise though, none of them seemed to object, at least not outright, the three of them seemed to accept the nature of our temporary relationship with ease.

After spending the day swimming and horsing around a bit we went back to the house to clean up and have dinner.

It was late before we were able to sneak out for the dance, dad had stayed up late watching T.V and I wanted him to be in bed for at least two hours before we attempted to go down the ladder. David was much calmer this time around but he still looked a bit pale as we got back on the ground.

“I dunno why we can’t just go down the stairs.” David complained as we trudged through the trees to the old barn.

“My parent’s room is right across from the stairs. Do you really want to risk getting caught sneaking out?” I asked him quietly.

“It wouldn’t be the first time you know.” David joked.

I just shook my head.

Before too much longer the light from the old barn started to permeate the darkness of the woods and the sounds of music and indistinct lyrics broke the silence. After a few more minutes of walking we finally arrived at the old broken down structure.

“You know I still can’t believe that you all get away with coming here.” David said loudly as we stepped into the barn. Chris was in the corner pumping out music while Walker and his band were on stage setting up.

“To be honest we’re not really getting away with anything, the barn dance is the worst kept secret around. Most of our parent’s used to come to these things when they were our age and know that it’s nothing more than shouting, screaming, dancing and music so they tend to look the other way when a brawl breaks out, it’s never anything serious, usually nothing more than a bloody nose or a fat lip.

If you look around the barn you can even see where repairs have been made that no one out here seems to want to take credit for.” I pointed out a relatively new ladder that led up to the loft above the makeshift stage and numerous places around the walls where new planks had been fitted over the old ones to cover up holes.

“It’s kind of scary to picture your mom and dad meeting here and dancing.” David said with a smiled as we moved over to Chris’s area.

“Because they didn’t, Mom isn’t from around here. She didn’t meet dad till they were in college in Indianapolis, most of mom’s family is in Michigan.” I replied as I pulled my coat off and tossed it down with Chris’s.

David smiled and tossed his coat down with mine.

“I didn’t know that your mom wasn’t from around here. Do you know anything about her family? Do you see them?” David asked as we pushed through the crowd to get to the food and drink table. There was no kind of real schedule as to who brought food and drinks, if you wanted to bring something you did.

“I don’t know too much about them no, they like to keep to themselves. Her dad died a few years ago and her mom is kind of….eccentric. I’ve got a couple of uncles and an aunt but I haven’t seen them in a few years. Mom keeps in regular contact with them though.” I replied I poured us each a glass of punch.

“Are you two going to stand there all night or are you going to join the party?” Sam asked as she came up behind us.

“That depends, are you gonna dance with me?” David asked as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close.

Sam looked down at the arm around her waist and cocked and eyebrow at David but made no attempt to move out of his hold.

“That depends, are you gonna be able to keep up with a country and southern rock beat? There’s a little rock and some jazz thrown in every now and again but none of that rap or pop crap you’re probably a fan of.” Sam asked with a cocky look but her voice held no heat.

“First off I listen to rap and pop about as much as you do. Personally I’m more of an adult alternative and classic rock kind of guy,” David replied and Sam smiled, “Second off, don’t EVER insult a gay guy’s dancing skills.” David leaned close to Sam’s ear and whispered the last part so that only the two of us could hear.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Sam replied as he stood up straight, but didn’t relinquish his hold on her, “So are we gonna do this or what?” Sam said as she motioned to the dance floor behind them.

David gave me a small smile and together the two of them made their way to the dance floor.

I just smiled as they pushed their way through the throngs of people and moved to where I could see them.

As I watched them bump and roll to Jason Aldean, Julian sidled up to me.

“You know for a California boy he can move to country.” Julian smiled as he spoke.

“You’re a California boy too and you can still move to a steel guitar.” I replied but Julian look mortified.

“I may live on the coast Billy boy but my heart and soul has never left these old back roads.” Julian spoke seriously.

I put an arm around his shoulders in a one armed hug and smiled.

“That’s good to know Julian.” I told him with a smile.

“You know, I see how you look at him, like I look at Sam. You’re in love.” Julian said quietly, it wasn’t a question.

“Yea I am. I didn’t know you loved Sam though.” I replied in an effort to change the subject, I figured I knew where this was heading and I didn’t want to go there.

“I’ve been in love with Sam since I was ten years old.” Julian replied with a smile.

I turned to look at him and he just shrugged his shoulders.

“It was nothing more than a stupid little boy crush on the sweet girl down the road but I still hated to leave and I never forgot about her. Seeing her again when I came back, I was a dead man.” As Julian spoke a slow song came on and Sam and David slowed their movements to dance.

“What are you going to do when you leave?” I asked him, wondering what he would say.

“I don’t know yet, I honestly try not to think about it.” Julian said quietly as he focused on Sam.

“So you’re not going to hassle me about being with David?” I asked him quietly.

“Nope, I came over here to tell you to take advantage of every moment you have with him. Both you and David deserve this.” Julian said as the song ended and he waded through the crowed to get to Sam.

                                                           *          *          *

It was easy to see that Sam was impressed with my dancing skills, if I do say so myself. We had fun laughing and dancing and I thought for once that things between us were going to be ok.

Until a slow song came on.

We held each other as close as we dared and slowly turned on the spot but when Sam looked up at me I knew I was in for it.

“You know you’re going to break his heart right?” She asked seriously.

“He’s gonna break mine, I figure it’s an even trade.” I know it was too aloof sounding but I didn’t want to have this conversation again.

Sam though didn’t like it; she dug her nails into my side where her hands rested at my waist.

“It’s not the same. Billy isn’t like you. He’s…fragile.” Sam said as her grip eased up.

“I’m sure Billy appreciates your faith in his character.” I replied and Sam glared at me.

“You know what I mean.” She huffed through gritted teeth.

“Billy is a lot stronger than you think Sam. We’ve talked about everything you’re trying to throw at me and he decided that he wanted our relationship to continue.” I told her and Sam bristled even more.

“And you’re selfish enough to go along with it.” She said with venom.

I had to admit Sam calling me selfish hurt a bit; she had no idea how hard I strove to prevent this relationship from even starting.

“No more selfish than you getting involved with Julian.” I said, hoping to turn the tables on her.

“I’m not in love Julian and he’s sure not in love with me.” Sam scoffed but her eyes told a different story.

“And Seth say’s Billy is a bad liar. He’s obviously never heard you lie before.” I laughed a little and saw Julian approaching us.

“You can say you don’t love him as much as you want but take one look in his eyes and you’ll be able to see how he feels.” I told her as the song ended and I pushed her toward him.

“You guys have fun?” He asked as he wrapped an arm around Sam’s waist.

“Yea, it was nice.” I told him with a wink, letting him decide what it meant.

I left the two of them in the middle of the floor as a new song came on and made my way over to Billy.

“Thank you.” I said as I took my drink from him.

Billy looked bemused for a second before smiling, knowing him he probably forgot that he was holding it for me.

“You’re welcome. Did you enjoy dancing with Sam?” He asked with a smile, he probably expected to hear how she had been bitching about it or something.

“Oh yea, it was fun, she’s actually pretty good.” I smiled; I had no intention of telling Billy what Sam had said.

“I’d like to be able to dance with you.” Billy mumbled as his face heated up.

I smiled and moved as close to Billy as I could and ran my hand over his.

“I’d like to do that too.” I whispered, making Billy smile.

The two of us spent the rest of the party not getting too far out of each other’s space. We took turn dancing with Sam, unfortunately, and Billy introduced me to some of the local girls.

When Walker’s band took the stage everyone stopped to watch as Walker stepped up to the mic.

Walker’s deep, rich baritone caused a gasp to run through the crowd. The man’s voice ran over you like warm honey, thick and sweet; much better than the guy who had been singing for them before.

I dunno if the songs they sang were originals or covers but Walker’s every note was perfect and when their first set finished applause rang through the barn like a thunder clap.

As the night wound down I decided that given Sam’s numerous attempts to break us up that I would let Billy in on my plan to stay; at least in a round about way.

While he was busy talking to Walker on stage I went to Chris and requested a song I had heard a few weeks back in the truck with Billy, something I thought would be perfect.

Chris smiled when I asked him to play the song, I didn’t tell him why but I figured he’d probably guessed.

“Alright, alright, alright y’all, here is our last tune of the evening. This is a very special request that goes out to our resident horse whisperer, you know who you are, and you’d better know who this is from.” Chris announced just before the music started.

‘Six lanes
Taillights
Red ants marchin' into the night
They disappear to the left and right again
Another supper from a sack
A ninety-nine cent heart attack
I got a poundin' head and an achin' back
And the camel's buried in a big straw stack’

As soon as he heard Chris’s dedication Billy spun around and faced me. He smiled at me and shook his head playfully, but then the chorus started in.

‘I'm gonna live where the green grass grows
Watchin' my corn pop up in rows
Every night be tucked in close to you
Raise our kids where the good Lord's blessed
Point our rocking chairs towards the west
Plant our dreams where the peaceful river flows
Where the green grass grows’

As the chorus faded Billy looked at me again, a question plan on his face. He brought a hand up and tapped his chest, asking me.

I nodded in return and mimicked his motion, tapping the center of my chest. Billy looked awestruck and I motioned with my head toward the door before walking out, I knew he would follow me.

I walked into the shadows of one of the trees and waited for Billy to make an appearance, soon he appeared and I let out a low whistle to get his attention.

Billy’s eyes found mine in the shadows and he came after me. Once he was by my side I grabbed his hand and pulled him deeper into the trees, once I figured it was safe I stopped and leaned back against a tree.

“Did you mean what I think you meant?” Billy asked me quietly, not meeting my eyes.

“Yea I did, I haven’t figured how yet but I’m gonna make it happen, even if I have to live in the old barn and eat squirrels to survive.” I replied seriously, it was actually an idea I had considered.

“Why would you do that…leave everything you know behind…just to stay here? The winters are brutal, the summers hot, my dad is an ass.” Billy replied in a whisper.

I pulled Billy close to me and lifted his chin till he looked me in the eye.

“Because you’re here and I love you. Because being here with you and your friends and your mom makes me feel more at home than I have in years. Because I may not know where this thing between us is going to lead but I want to find out.” Tears sprang to Billy’s eyes after I told him I loved him and by the time I was done he was all but bawling.

I wiped away his tears and pulled him close and brushed my lips against his. Not a real kiss, just a reassurance.

“I love you, I want you and I need you. I will beg both your father and mine to let me stay. Hell I will pay that man rent if I have to. I’ll do anything short of sexual favors if I have to.” I swore and Billy smiled at me.

“Dad would probably get on board with all that except that last one.” Billy chuckled and I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around him and pull him close to me.

“We’ll figure it out Billy boy, I promise.” I whispered as I held him tight.

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

I want to thank Rush for her work in editing, without her I would be no where. As always, I love to get your thoughts and opinions so feel free to email me at allenarcane88@yahoo.com, drop me a PM, write me a review or visit the discussion forum.

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