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    AC Benus
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Thousandth Regiment - 20. "I've sacrificed me to many fair women"

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20. Ich gab mich soviel blonden Frauen hin,

O Leben, sprühend, o beglückter Tanz!

Nun hallt das Schicksal härter, und ich bin

Dem wilden Sterben hingegeben ganz.

 

Aus den verschanzten Höhen welch ein Glanz

Vom Feuerschein der flammenden Bezirke!

Und ist so purpurstolz und heiß, als wirke

Lebendig Blut sich in der Felder Kranz.

 

Musik! Die Kugeln peitschen hell den Wall.

Musik! Granaten schlagen taumelnd ein.

Da stürzen Tag und Träume jäh zusammen.

 

Nun will ich durch den Schlachtenüberschwall

Im steilen Stolze meiner Jungend flammen

Und wie mein Degen blank und siegend sein.

 

                              ---

 

20. I've sacrificed me to many fair women,

O life, its spurting. O giddy dancing!

Now resounds a harsher fate, and I am

Set on a feral death sacrificial.

 

What splendor from the height of the entrenched hills

By firelight of the blazing environs!

For it goes so magenta-proud, weaving

Sanguine blood through the fields' living garland.

 

Music! Bullets brightly scourge the ramparts.

Music! Bombs floggingly hammer us down.

Around us tumble both days and our dreams.

 

Now demands I flame through slaughter's excess

In the pole-rigid pride of excessive youth

To bare me like a sword, naked and won.

 

                              ---

 

 

 

_

Copyright © 2019 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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He knows he is to be sent across the no man’s land where blood and earth flow, where only the king of hell in his purple robe would feel welcome. The sestet is especially arresting in its images. I again thank you for bringing these poems to us. 

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The contrasts in the pictures are so extreme and yet in their intensity so similar. There is a lot of tempo in this sonnet and it has the effect to bring into the moment, which loads the reader (or just me) with an overwhelming amount of emotions. Outstanding translation because (with my limited English abilities) it creates the same effects as the original. 🙂

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To me, reading this, this morning ... he talks of dance, music, hills alive with fire, while the ground is sopping with blood. All of it conjures a scene from a hellish dance macabre. And the noise of the gun, whizzing bullets and bombs, add to the terror i see and feel. i just want to turn away.

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23 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

He knows he is to be sent across the no man’s land where blood and earth flow, where only the king of hell in his purple robe would feel welcome. The sestet is especially arresting in its images. I again thank you for bringing these poems to us. 

Thank you for reading and commenting, Parker. I appreciate it.

The term purpurstolz here, which I have loosely rendered as 'royal purple,' is a challenging one. The stolz can mean egotistical, conceited, prideful, arrogant, haughty, but in the context of the entire poem, Death is crowned with a regal status. This explains (...I hope...) my decision here.

I mention this as only one example from many. Sometimes the turn of phrases have so many interpretive allusions, I scratch my head and hope things fall into place in the translations. Nobody said this was easy, but I've taken the task unto me, and will complete it :)

Thanks again!      

 

Edited by AC Benus
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11 hours ago, Lyssa said:

The contrasts in the pictures are so extreme and yet in their intensity so similar. There is a lot of tempo in this sonnet and it has the effect to bring into the moment, which loads the reader (or just me) with an overwhelming amount of emotions. Outstanding translation because (with my limited English abilities) it creates the same effects as the original. 🙂

Thank you, Lyssa. As you know, I am always looking at the way the lines are constructed. I do hope to capture the cadence of Hans' varied moods and settings, and sometimes wonder if it comes through. Your praise here is welcomed feedback that I can manage it, at least sometimes.

Thanks again for all your support, technical and otherwise. I appreciate it :)

 

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6 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

To me, reading this, this morning ... he talks of dance, music, hills alive with fire, while the ground is sopping with blood. All of it conjures a scene from a hellish dance macabre. And the noise of the gun, whizzing bullets and bombs, add to the terror i see and feel. i just want to turn away.

Thank you, Tim. I think your interpretation is an impressive one. The cadence of the poem (the original) contains a bit of dance tempo, so perhaps a dance macabre is exactly what the reader is meant to see and feel. That this comes through in my translation to you is wonderfully encouraging feedback.

Thanks once again!

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I wish I could perfectly render the dispassion of the original opening line. If space were not a consideration in the translation, I would have Ich gab mich soviel blonden Frauen hin reading: I have given myself up in regards to many fair women. The "in regards to" captures the dispassion I have mentioned, and I wish I could use it in my translation. 

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