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    Aditus
  • Aditus
  • Author
  • 05/01/2014
  • 41 Words
  • 1,435 Views
  • 21 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Mark - 1. Mark

Mark

 

Wisps of fog

faces, torn

gliding past my eyes.

 

Snow flakes

perfection, melted

running through my hands.

 

Rain drops

tears, dried

never moist my skin.

 

In vain.

 

In vain.

 

In vain.

 

This is the second poem I wrote in English. Yes I count the other one. (some of you might remember it :P )
Copyright © 2014 aditus; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 13
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Ashi

Repeated in vain sounds like the tear dropped three times. Whoever Mark is, he probably wants you to move on. Nice poem.

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Bill W

Short, but touching. I think Ashi hit it on the nose when he compared the 'in vain' to three tear drops. Nice job!

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Lisa

I like reading things from Mark's pov, b/c we were first introduced to the story with Sam and the first story had to do with him and his pov. I hated Mark right away after reading that story. lol

 

But the last story and this poem say it all. Mark's wishes and his tears are all in vain. He can shed as many tears as he wants, but he will never get Sam back again.

 

Great job, Addy! :2thumbs:

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nostic

It was nice, thanks for sharing. Hope to see the third, fourth and…. of your poems in English.

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Aditus
On 05/02/2014 05:38 AM, joann414 said:
Short and to the point. I do remember your other poem. Great job. :)
Should I re-publish it again? Hehe

Thanks Jo Ann, that's what I wanted. :)

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Aditus
On 05/02/2014 06:52 AM, carringtonrj said:
I like it. Subtle and simple and without wasted words. Nice job. x
Thank you. I still need to get a feel of writing poetry in English. I'm glad you like it. :)
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Aditus
On 05/02/2014 07:07 AM, Ashi said:
Repeated in vain sounds like the tear dropped three times. Whoever Mark is, he probably wants you to move on. Nice poem.
Yes! Ashi, with this comment you made me happy and proud. Thank you. :)He should definitely move on.
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Aditus
On 05/02/2014 08:35 AM, Cole Matthews said:
I just love this poem. It speaks of chances missed and opportunity lost. Simply lovely Addy!
Exactly. Thank you Cole, I couldn't have done it without your encouragement.
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Aditus
On 05/02/2014 09:23 AM, Bill W said:
Short, but touching. I think Ashi hit it on the nose when he compared the 'in vain' to three tear drops. Nice job!
Thank you Bill. And yes Ashi really hit it on the nose.
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Aditus
On 05/02/2014 01:43 PM, Lisa said:
I like reading things from Mark's pov, b/c we were first introduced to the story with Sam and the first story had to do with him and his pov. I hated Mark right away after reading that story. lol

 

But the last story and this poem say it all. Mark's wishes and his tears are all in vain. He can shed as many tears as he wants, but he will never get Sam back again.

 

Great job, Addy! :2thumbs:

Thank you Lisa. No mercy for Mark, huh? He will never get Sam back again, but maybe there is someone else for him, scars and all...
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Aditus
On 05/02/2014 02:35 PM, nostic said:
It was nice, thanks for sharing. Hope to see the third, fourth and…. of your poems in English.
Thank you nos. Haha, we will see about it. Glad you liked it. :)
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Aditus
On 05/04/2014 01:25 PM, comicfan said:
A loss that will not come again. Seems so forlorn Aditus. I feel sorry for Mark.
Just found this review, sorry for answering so late.

I never thought it could happen when I wrote 'The Wardrobe' but somehow I feel sorry for him too. He sneaked in and manged to become my favorite character actually. I'd like to give him his own multi-chapter story someday. For now it's just a poem. Thank you for your review Wayne.

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Slytherin

Hey :angry: I missed this one too when it came out *pouts* I Think I was on holiday then.. hmmm.. Poor Mark, pain, lonely, sad, heartache :(

 

Yes, I am now even more convinced that Mark deserves a story ! Go to work - Mark needs you ! :hug:

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Aditus
On 06/14/2014 09:38 PM, Slytherin said:
Hey :angry: I missed this one too when it came out *pouts* I Think I was on holiday then.. hmmm.. Poor Mark, pain, lonely, sad, heartache :(

 

Yes, I am now even more convinced that Mark deserves a story ! Go to work - Mark needs you ! :hug:

Ha, ha. Okay, let me think about this some more. It won't be an anthology story, but he will get his own, promise. :)

Thank you. *hug*

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Thirdly

Mark, the Haiku:

I stole Sam's keys to

run you over with a car

but, you were redeemed

  • Haha 1
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Thirdly
4 hours ago, Aditus said:

To be honest, I thought I deleted this. :gikkle:

What, no. It's one of your first English poems. And it's still good. Leave it.

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