Dear, Grocery Shoppers - 2. Noah! You're Needed on the Front End!

Dear Grocery Shoppers,

My name is Noah Fields (Hi Noah), I’m twenty-eight, and I’m the husband of your favorite author, Aaron Stone. (OMG he really exists!) And before I get into a story of my own, let me just do a quick introduction of myself. I work in retail, just as my husband has stated on the last episode of DGS. Where I work currently, I’m one of the managers and despite my fancy job title (Senior Fashion Coordinator), all it really means is key holder and in charge of all department leads. So I guess you could say I’m pretty important and even then, it’ll depend who asks! I hold a Strategic Communications Degree, which basically means I have a set of skills that are pretty universal but unique nonetheless.

As Aaron mentioned, he’s a terrible person. I know him better than most and I can assure you, he is (a brief pause followed by an awkward but sarcastic laugh), but I’m no better. And as you take the time to get to know me, whether it’s because of your curiosity, you’ll quickly find that I’m one of the most honest people in your life. Even if that means I gotta keep it real.

Now that we’ve covered the basics, let us begin to take a journey inside my mind. I am someone who believes, given the amount of knowledge we as society have, we all have to have a good strong built foundation. For instance we’ve all had to learn ABC’s, 123’s, Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star, you get it. So it is my belief that there’s no reason to have such confusion in retail and fast food places. Here’s an example: you’re a cashier, a customer walks up to the counter where you’re at and asks if he/she can get a price on a shirt, yet it clearly has the price tag on there. You laugh, but I couldn’t be more honest. It happens to me on an hourly basis. I told the customer that it was $7.99 or something. She said, “Can you check it anyway because I got it off such & such rack.” I scanned the item, said it was still $7.99, and she was like...that can’t be right.

At that moment, I took a deep breath, because it just came to me that this woman has no common sense. Remember, I’m not talking to her about a subject where you would clearly have to have certain skills. For instance working in the medical field as, let's say a doctor. Not everyone can be a doctor but everyone can be a wedding planner. Get it? Ok, so let's get back to the story at hand. I mentioned to her in the calmest of voices:

“Ma’am, as I’m sure you got it off such and such rack, but we have other customers always putting things in the wrong spot, as well as letting their kids run wild, who keep grabbing stuff and putting it wherever. For example, this $7.99 shirt you’re getting was on the such and such rack. My staff & fellow management team do our best to organize as much as we can but there’s only so many of us and a lot more of you. That’s not on us, so would you still like to buy this shirt?”

So, she could have just literally said, “Okay, I’ll get it,” or, “No, I’m not gonna get it.” Instead, I get, “Alright, I’ll buy it, but you didn’t have to be so rude.” Like Aaron said, these people are from the fifties. They like to be all nice and shit to your face, but the second something don’t go their way, they get in a damn fit.

Whether you purchase this merchandise or not, I get paid the same. I’m paid by the hour, not the job, nor is my pay commission based. You now have taken a small glimpse inside my mind. You’ve been given just a small taste, just a bite, but as we dive into the depths of my mind you’ll come to the realization of many things.

Dear Grocery Shoppers, you’re in for a rude awakening here, and although you might not want to hear this, it is something you need to hear. I don’t want to have to deal with little inconveniences at my job that makes me think twice. But I need to, because unfortunately, dealing with this stupidity is part of the cost of living, along with my time in order to be paid handsomely.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “But Noah! You’re being paid handsomely so you should be able to put up with it.” And you’re right. I can put up with it, but like most people, I have a boiling point. I guarantee you that if I pulled even a small percentage of these stunts, you’d wanna bite my head off, among other things. Why do you think retail is essential? Because half of the time, the stores are short staffed with people coming and going. Whether it’s because they’re legitimately moving on to better things, or they got tired or what you, your friends, colleagues, family, and peers were putting them through on a daily basis. Put something in perspective before you go out shopping next: think about what you do at your job. If you work with any sort of shopper, come up with a list of actions that would just irritate you, or cause more work on yourself. Now play that scene in your head. Don’t deal with customers? Gotcha. Imagine a coworker doing something crazy like spilling coffee on your keyboard. All I ask is for you to think about what you’re gonna say or do, and see if that would be worth spending the air in your lungs to speak.

My name is Noah, and welcome to the journey of the inner depths of my mind as I point out some the most mind blowing experiences you’ve ever seen. I’m not the best at writing, but that’s what I got a husband for. He’s got that private school education and he’s the author here, so he can deal with all the editing and stuff. That’s all the time I have for today, until next time.