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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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Backwoods Reflections - 2. Limericks on Quotes by Ben Franklin

"Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead." [1]

"Oh, I," said Miss Myrtle Purdue,

"Am the person to tell secrets to;

Though I know them ten years

They'll reach nobody's ears."

In an hour, the whole city knew.
(1963)

 

"Now that I have a sheep and a cow, everybody bids me good morrow." [1]

His wife, when the poor man was dead

Was cared for by friends, it is said,

The rich man should grieve

Since his friends will leave

The minute his will has been read.
(1963)

 

"... that all well-bred people forcibly restrain the efforts of nature to discharge that wind, that so retained ... not only gives pain, but occasions future diseases, such as habitual cholics, ruptures, etc..." [2]

On every man, per nature's code,

Is flatulence freely bestowed;

But those who obsess,

And try to suppress,

Have sometimes been known to explode.
(2023)

[1] Poor Richard's Almanack
[2] A Letter to a Royal Academy about Farting
Copyright © 2023 Backwoods Boy; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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ReaderPaul
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Number One is definitely a Franklin Quote, from "Poor Richard's Almanack," of which I have a physical copy I bought about four years ago of the collected "Poor Richard" sayings.

Number Two sounds like Franklin, but I don't remember for sure.

Number Three: Franklin said something about farts.  I don't remember if it was that exact wording.

Good going, @Backwoods Boy.

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Backwoods Boy
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3 hours ago, AC Benus said:

You're familiar with this classic of English poetry?

"Love is the Fart of Every Heart" ;)

https://gayauthors.org/story/ac-benus/the-great-mirror-of-same-sex-love-poetry/77

I was not aware of that delightful little number - over 400 years old, I see - and I hadn't yet arrived at it in your collection.  Thank you for pointing it out.  My education was far more "technical" than "liberal", a topic on which a formerly-mentioned English 101 professor gently chided me, and I ignored.

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Backwoods Boy
2 hours ago, ReaderPaul said:

Number One is definitely a Franklin Quote, from "Poor Richard's Almanack," of which I have a physical copy I bought about four years ago of the collected "Poor Richard" sayings.

Number Two sounds like Franklin, but I don't remember for sure.

Number Three: Franklin said something about farts.  I don't remember if it was that exact wording.

Good going, @Backwoods Boy.

Thanks for your support and observations, Paul.  To to expand a little, I recently found in my trunk of memorabilia an enlightening collection of poems from my adolescence, most of which were returned to that location to be found by my executor.  The first two limericks were from either a high-school or college assignment.  The second quote, according to internet sources, can be found on page 39 of a 2004 Barnes & Noble edition of Poor Richard's Almanack. 

The third limerick was inspired by indeterminate recollections about Franklin's perspectives on flatulence.  The quote is apparently the title of an essay written by Carl Japiske, so I have replaced it with a genuine, documentable Franklin quote.  The latter ended with the observations that, compared to the practical applications such as that which he proposes, other sciences are "scarcely worth a FART-THING".

So thanks for one more thing - keeping me honest. :) 

Edited by Backwoods Boy
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Backwoods Boy
3 hours ago, raven1 said:

Thanks Backwoods Boy.  I have always loved Ben Franklin's humor.  I need the laughs and forgotten where to find them.  Glad you put some them here to remind me.

I'd somewhat forgotten about Ben Franklin until I rediscovered the first two quotes and limericks in my memorabilia, but I need to renew the acquaintance.  A politician/diplomat with intelligence and wit - what a concept.  We could use a few of those these days. 

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