Backwoods Reflections - 6. Reunion

1 hour ago, Parker Owens said:

I agree with @Mikiesboy. A reunion with cottonwoods and lilies and rippling water would be better than a recollection of what was a very hard time. 

Thanks, Parker.  I feel fortunate to live where I can have those reunions regularly.

57 minutes ago, chris191070 said:

This is lovely, but I wouldn't fancy a school reunion. I'd rather reunite with something more pleasant.

Thanks for writing this.

Thanks, Chris.  The poem probably overstates the case - the earlier ones were somewhat interesting - but at the last one, I realized it was a game I no longer wanted to play.

Thank You for This Beautiful Posting Today , Reunions with Nature Are  Always Happy & Relaxed Frame of Mind . I Attended an All Boys School , So Reunions Are Few and In Between Nowadays. The 8-9 Friends Who I Can Still Call Brothers Talk Regularly 📱

49 minutes ago, WolfM said:

Like the others, I'd much rather have a reunion with nature.

Thanks, Wolf.  I'll let you know if I see any lycans - or maybe a ghost cat. 

Were I younger and lived elsewhere, I might include the ocean and a surfboard in my reunion  

5 minutes ago, JohnnyC said:

Thank You for This Beautiful Posting Today , Reunions with Nature Are  Always Happy & Relaxed Frame of Mind . I Attended an All Boys School , So Reunions Are Few and In Between Nowadays. The 8-9 Friends Who I Can Still Call Brothers Talk Regularly 📱

Thanks for reading and for your observations, John.  It's those few with whom you have things in common who are important.  

I enjoyed my 5 year high school reunion very much.  The tenth had so many persons getting drunk and disorderly I left quite early.  Did not attend any more until the 40th, and a totally different crowd -- in terms of attitude --was at that one then.  No more reunions until the 50th, and I was able to attend that one without my spouse -- so was not as limited by spouse's severe mobility issues which had developed since the 40th.  By then most had mellowed.

But until after the middle of 2020, I enjoyed walking around the small family farm where I grew up as much or more than any of the reunions, or walking with my lifelong best friend on the family farm where he grew up.  (He was an only child, so no problems with inheriting it.)  His land is much more rugged than my family's farm was.  We have great memories of both farms, and the trees and fields.

Thanks for stirring up the memories, both positive and less positive, @Backwoods Boy.

5 hours ago, raven1 said:

I never went to a reunion from my high school or college years.  I also was raised in a small town, but being gay meant being outside the social circle.  There were none of the feelings or common experiences to bond with these people.  I do feel much more comfortable when in nature, and am closely bonded with the natural beauty and peace found in a forest.  Your words have much meaning to me.  Wonderful poem Backwoods Boy!

I, too, was outside the social circle for the same reason - but I hadn't yet grasped the reason.  Geography and parental constraints on socialization didn't help either.  There were some bonds of common interests, music for example, but none extended beyond the end of the school day.

I mentioned earlier one of my classmates who pointedly never attended a reunion.  I'm a slow learner - what you two figured out on graduation day took me fifty-plus years. 

3 minutes ago, ReaderPaul said:

I have never attended a formal college reunion -- although I have been to a few memorial services for classmates in college.  Being bisexual, and not admitting the same-sex attraction for some time, I felt out of place by being a very skinny, tall geek.  Two girls I had interests toward mad me cautious on the opposite sex.  One had been attracted since age 14 to a guy she eventually married, and they've been mostly happily married for over 50 years now.  The other went out with me on a date before the end of high school -- although I don't know why -- because she told me she wanted to date and marry a guy in the Air Force.  (I am guessing she went out with me once to keep her parents from knowing she was interested in this other guy -- who was five years older than she was, and who was more interested in getting into her pants than a serious relationship).

In college I did little dating.  Though I had a lot of casual friends, and one serious roommate/friend who still keeps in touch, I concentrated on studying.  But I still enjoyed walking around the family farm or country areas, and remembering.

I still have cousins in the area where I grew up.  I enjoy seeing them on occasion, but do not want to live in that "redneck" region.  Where I live now is a little more liberal, but has taken a hard "right turn" since 2008.  

In general, I enjoy observing nature more than pretending to a be impressed by a lot of the meaningless social action I see around me.

Ah, yes, the games people play.  I've also never attended a college reunion - too far away and no social life there either - just another rat in the maze.  In addition to still being ignorant/in denial, I had a single-minded focus on a degree and the part-time jobs required to make that happen.  Afterwards, I kept in touch with one roommate - for a while.  One more life-experience that was educational but certainly not worth repeating.  I like your phrase "meaningless social action".  Not my cup of tea either.

I have to agree with the others, that getting back to nature is better than revisiting a brief moment in life. A few people that were my good friends in high school, are still my friends today. The others were people I knew for a few short years in my youth, and people come and go in our lives with great regularity. My high school maintains a website where they list all those from every graduating class that have passed away. From time to time I go to my class year to check, and I am always amazed at how many people that I knew are already gone. I knew them as teens, and back then, I would have never dreamed how short some of their lives would be. I can picture their faces as they were, but, amazingly, can't think of much else about them, which only proves that I didn't really know them at all. Life is full of people we 'know', but don't share life with. Brief encounters, not carried forward.

I have always resisted returning to those days, by going to reunions. I have stayed close to my friends. The others in my graduating class were  people I shared a brief moment with, and whom I have moved on from now. I don't want to go back in time. I don't want to know that the promises of those times were not fulfilled for so many.

Nature is more forgiving, less personal, and far less likely to hurt.

27 minutes ago, Geron Kees said:

I have to agree with the others, that getting back to nature is better than revisiting a brief moment in life. A few people that were my good friends in high school, are still my friends today. The others were people I knew for a few short years in my youth, and people come and go in our lives with great regularity. My high school maintains a website where they list all those from every graduating class that have passed away. From time to time I go to my class year to check, and I am always amazed at how many people that I knew are already gone. I knew them as teens, and back then, I would have never dreamed how short some of their lives would be. I can picture their faces as they were, but, amazingly, can't think of much else about them, which only proves that I didn't really know them at all. Life is full of people we 'know', but don't share life with. Brief encounters, not carried forward.

I have always resisted returning to those days, by going to reunions. I have stayed close to my friends. The others in my graduating class were  people I shared a brief moment with, and whom I have moved on from now. I don't want to go back in time. I don't want to know that the promises of those times were not fulfilled for so many.

Nature is more forgiving, less personal, and far less likely to hurt.

 

An excellent summary.  What I find interesting is that the one or two classmates I connect with now are not the ones I was thrown together with then.  I'll have a "reunion" with one of those later in the summer - neither of us are excited about the group reunion.  In fact, few seem excited about it except for the one or two obsessed with "getting together before we all die off".  Why?  May the obsessed enjoy each other's company.  

On 5/9/2023 at 3:13 PM, Backwoods Boy said:

An excellent summary.  What I find interesting is that the one or two classmates I connect with now are not the ones I was thrown together with then.  I'll have a "reunion" with one of those later in the summer - neither of us are excited about the group reunion.  In fact, few seem excited about it except for the one or two obsessed with "getting together before we all die off".  Why?  May the obsessed enjoy each other's company.  

I understood many years ago that, for some, high school was the time of their lives. I find it sad to think that some people feel they had lived their best years by age 18, and that life after that was just a disappointment.  My life has only improved since that time. I have no desire to go back.

2 hours ago, Geron Kees said:

I understood many years ago that, for some, high school was the time of their lives. I find it sad to think that some people feel they had lived their best years by age 18, and that life after that was just a disappointment.  My life has only improved since that time. I have no desire to go back.

 

Thanks for your observations, Geron.  I attended a number of "significant" reunions early on, but found them to be increasingly disappointing.  There are some personal issues involved, too, but the net result is that, at this point, I choose to be more selective.