Butterflies Fly Free - 2. Chapter 2 – Colt

“I hope you like what you see,” Colt teased, when he noticed what I was staring at.

This caused me to turn a bright shade of red and yank my gaze away from his privates.

“Oh, um… I’m… uh… sorry, Colt,” I stuttered, while turning my head in the opposite direction.

I was chagrinned and embarrassed that I had been caught in the act, but I was also finding it hard to deny my attraction to him.

“It’s ok,” he assured me. “I don’t mind. Besides, I owe you a lot more than just a peek, especially after all you’ve done and are still doing for me.”

Even though he had meant his comment to make me feel better, it only caused me to feel worse.

“I’m sorry, Colt, I had no right to do that,” I told him, as I turned back and looked him in the face. “I should have turned away immediately when your towel fell open and you don’t owe me a thing. Please, accept my apology for gawking at you that way.”

“What? You didn’t like what you saw?” he wondered, while sounding confused and possibly even disappointed.

I could see the same hurt expression returning to his face that I had seen previously, so I felt obliged to respond.

“I didn’t say that,” I quickly corrected. “It’s just that I didn’t have the right, or your permission, to stare at your equipment that way.”

“But you’re attracted to guys, aren’t you?” he asked, seriously.

I couldn’t help but laugh after he said this, which made him flash me an angry, possibly bruised, expression in response.

“Didn’t you initially approach me outside a gay bookstore after I’d purchased a couple of gay DVDs?” I responded, rhetorically. “Of course I’m attracted to other guys.”

“You bought gay DVDs?” Colt squealed, as he jumped up from the arm of the chair.

To my surprise, Colt seemed to be ignoring everything else I had just said and focused only on the mention of the DVDs. This caused me to wonder if the rest of my statement had sunk in.

“Can we watch them now?” he whined, breaking my thoughts.

As I looked in his direction, Colt was acting as if he was finding it difficult to contain his enthusiasm about this possibility. Seeing how he was acting prompted me to chuckle again.

“Whoa, let’s slow down a bit,” I choked out, in between giggles. “How old are you and are you trying to tell me that you’re gay too?”

This time it was Colt’s turn to blush.

“Ok, I guess it’s time that I tell you about myself,” he conceded, “but this isn’t going to be easy.”

I had a feeling I could guess what he was going to reveal, but we both moved over to the sofa and got comfortable, as Colt began to fill me in about his background.

“I’m seventeen…” he began, but then stopped, unexpectedly, and stared at me.

I must have reflexively made a face after hearing him say this, but I didn’t mean to react negatively to his statement. It’s just that the information he’d just shared had startled me, because his face made him appear to be no older than fourteen, at least in my mind. Yes, he had assured me he was older than that when we first met, but I wasn’t convinced I should just take his word for it at the time. Colt must have sensed my disbelief, because he hurriedly got up and then raced back to the bedroom he had chosen to stay in. I thought I had inadvertently bruised his ego and he had gone to brood privately, so I was about to go apologize when he came trotting back to the living room, carrying something in his hand.

“Here, this should prove that I’m telling the truth!” he stated, defiantly, while handing the item to me.

It turned out to be his school identification card, which I examined carefully. It didn’t take long before I discovered that he was indeed seventeen and in eleventh grade, at least that was what was printed on his I.D., and since it was spring, this meant he was at the end of his junior year. I also noted that he would be turning eighteen before school started again in the fall, which nearly blew me away. When I looked up at his face, he quickly spoke again.

“Satisfied?” he asked, while looking anxious.

“Yes, you’ve made your point,” I agreed, and Colt seemed to relax a bit, because he released a deep sigh.

“Anyway, I left home because I just couldn’t take it any more,” he continued, before his voice suddenly started to choke up with emotion.

When this happened, I immediately began to feel badly for him. It was obvious he was having difficulty dealing with the emotional turmoil that had motivated him to run away in the first place, so I made an attempt to ease his plight.

“Colt, you really don’t have to do this,” I offered, while trying to be as understanding and sympathetic as I could.

“Yes, I do,” he countered, as he gave me a look of determination that let me know I shouldn’t argue this point with him. “I’ve never told anyone about this before, because I’ve never found someone I thought I could trust and who wouldn’t make things worse for me, but that’s no longer true. I know I can trust you, so please just listen, because I really want to do this.”

Suddenly, I understood why this was so important to him, so I put my arm around his shoulders and gently pulled his body against mine. He instinctively rested his head upon my chest, before he began speaking again.

“I’ve known I was gay for a few years now,” he confessed, “although at the time I didn’t put a name to it or consider what it meant. I just knew that I liked boys and would rather see them naked, instead of looking at a girl without any clothes on. Whenever my friends were gawking at photos of naked girls in magazines, all I could think about was what they would look like naked and how each of them was hung. I longed to be able to see their goodies and touch them there, along with doing other stuff with them, but I’ve never had a chance to try anything like that.”

He hesitated after saying this and glanced up at me, apprehensively. I assumed he was trying to gauge my reaction, so I merely looked in his direction and attempted to let him know that I empathized with what he was going through. It must have worked, because he started speaking again.

“The thing was, I never dared talk about any of this with my friends, so I never got the chance to try any of that stuff. No matter how much I wanted to, I wasn’t stupid and didn’t want to become a target for all the guys that hate queers, so I kept my mouth shut and didn’t let anyone else know what I was thinking. Let’s face it – I live in the south, in the heart of the Bible belt, so I’ve heard the sermons in church about how evil and sinful it is to be gay. I’ve also listened to the jokes the other guys tell about fags and seen how they harass others that they merely suspect of being gay, so I did my best to avoid having that happen to me.”

He stopped and swallowed hard after admitting this, to give the lump that had formed in his throat a chance to go down a bit before he continued. As soon as that was accomplished, he resumed his story.

“The fact is, even though I’ve tried hard not to let anyone know how I felt, one day something happened that totally destroyed my life.”

Colt suddenly hesitated after admitting this, and when I looked to see what was wrong, I noticed there were tears forming in his eyes. Seeing how he was currently reacting let me know how difficult it must be for him to confide in someone about these things, but it also helped me to understand the reason he felt he needed to finally share his secret with someone else. For that reason, I repressed my instinct to tell him that he didn’t need to continue or offer my sympathy for what he’d been through. Instead, I kept my mouth shut and merely squeezed his body against mine, to let him know it was ok and I was there for him. After a few more seconds of sitting in silence, he finally spoke again.

“It happened in gym class,” he reluctantly admitted. “I had just changed into my gym shorts and two of the jocks I thought were super cute started changing next to me. One of them had gone commando that day, so when he took off his jeans, I got to see his wonderful cock and sprang a woody. My shorts were tenting out big time, so I quickly attempted to turn away from them and hide what had happened, but before I could do that, the other guy noticed my predicament. Before I knew what was happening, he started screaming out that I got a boner from seeing his friend naked, so I must be a fag.”

Colt paused after admitting this, so it was obvious that even thinking about the day in question still bothered him. The tears were streaming down his cheeks and he began to sob softly, so I squeezed his shoulder and flashed him a weak smile, in an attempt to ease his pain. After a few seconds, he finally was able to get his emotions under control again and resumed his story.

“As soon as he did that, both of them started shaking their dicks in my face and began asking if I wanted to suck on their meat or if I preferred to have it shoved up my ass. I didn’t answer and hurriedly stuffed my clothes into the locker, so I could run out of there and get to the gym, but doing that didn’t end my problem. Things got even worse once class was over, because when we got back to the locker room and started to change out of our gym clothes, the pair began giving me even more shit. I guess that during class they had told a bunch of their friends about what had happened earlier, so now a whole group of them cornered me before I could get away.

“Those guys and their friends all started grabbing their crotches and waving their cocks at my face,” he choked out, “and then they wanted to know if I thought their dicks were better than a girl’s titties or pussy. Even though I thought they were, I didn’t answer and tried to ignore them. Finally, the gym teacher came in and told us all to hurry up and get to our next class, but that didn’t end the problem for me either.

“They must have told some of their other friends about me too,” Colt added, “because when that class ended a few people began screaming obscenities at me as I walked down the hall and then some guys in my next class started cracking jokes about me before the teacher arrived. They even threw crap at me and made crude gestures so I could see what they were doing, but they only did this whenever the teacher’s back was turned. They almost got caught once, when some of the other students started laughing, but they still kept it up. It didn’t even stop when we got on the bus, because they tripped, punched and just ragged on me about being ‘a fucking homo’ until I got off at my stop.

“I thought once that horrible day ended the worst was finally over, but the assholes weren’t about to ease up,” Colt continued. “When I went to the cafeteria to eat lunch the next day, a few of them tried to trip me, because they wanted to see me fall or drop my tray. They didn’t have any luck doing it that time, but a couple of days later one of them did it again and this time I fell on the floor and landed with my chest and chin in the food. Everyone in the cafeteria roared with laughter when they saw the results of their actions, but I was totally humiliated. Once I was able to scramble back to my feet, I raced to the locker room so I could clean up. I even ended up having to wear the shirt I normally used in P.E. class for the rest of the day, since I couldn’t get the stains out of the one I had on and didn’t want to wear the badge from my ‘accident’ for the rest of the day. If that wasn’t bad enough, they even made fun of me for doing that too. Since I realized they were going to keep doing stuff like this just to make me miserable, I stopped eating in the cafeteria.

“Starting the following day, I began taking something to eat and drink from home and packed it in my backpack,” he confirmed. “Then, I’d carry it to the boys’ room during lunch period and eat it there. You see, I found a boys’ room that was in a seldom-used corner of the basement of the school, so I’d make my way there when lunch period started. I’d go to the stall located against the back wall and lock the door behind me, because I didn’t want anyone else to discover what I was doing. Then, I’d sit on the commode and eat my lunch, and that’s what I did for the rest of the time I attended school there. God, I totally hated having to do this and wished I could just change schools, but I knew that was never going to happen.”

Colt actually began to tremble as he told me this part of his tale, so I wrapped both of my arms around his body and embraced him in a tremendous hug. I could only imagine how terrible it must have been to feel he had to live like that, since the mere memory of those events still seemed to haunt him enough to elicit this type of a response. All I could think about was how I might ease his pain, but I never got the chance.

“After just a couple of weeks,” Colt continued, abruptly yanking me back to the present, “the rumors about me had spread to just about everyone in school – and even beyond. One day, the youth minister at my church confronted me about it too and demanded to know if the rumor was true. When I didn’t answer him, I guess he assumed it was and offered to get me enrolled in counseling sessions that would cure my sinful way. Remember, as of yet I hadn’t done anything, except for getting a boner in the locker room, and I’d never admitted that I was gay, yet everyone thought I was guilty of this ‘crime’ without any proof. That night, my asshole youth minister called the house and told my parents that I was a homosexual. He also advised them to make me get help and see the counselor he’d recommended. Now, my parents were also on my case, so my only refuge from these attacks was gone.

“My father immediately proclaimed that he wouldn’t have a fag for a son,” Colt admitted, as his eye began to water, “nor would he allow a ‘fudge-packing, backdoor driving queer’ to live in his home. I thought my mom would at least come to my defense, but she just looked at me and started crying. Then, my dad announced that I was going to have to attend the therapy sessions with the counselor my youth minister had recommended and I’d continue seeing him until I was no longer a sinful deviate.

“I wasn’t about to do what he wanted,” Colt stated, suddenly taking on a more defiant posture, “because I didn’t think I was a deviate, so that’s when I started making other plans. A couple of days later, I pretended to leave for school, but I just hid outside and waited until my parents left for work instead. Once I felt it was safe, I let myself back into the house, grabbed a bunch of my things and took off, because I knew I couldn’t live like this any longer.”

After saying this, Colt abruptly stopped talking and his eyes made contact with mine. It was very easy to see the pain etched on his face and read the anguish reflected in his eyes, which made it easy to understand what he was going through. It nearly broke my heart to see him like this, so my body involuntarily shuddered, as I considered the multitude of wrongs that had been heaped upon this poor young man. Instinctively, I began to hug him even tighter and we stayed like this for a couple of minutes more, while each of us gradually regained control of his emotions. I was still holding him when he began to speak again.

“Once I had my things, I started walking toward the city, but luckily I was able to bum a few rides, so I didn’t have to walk the whole way. I wanted to go there, because I’d been told there were places in the city where gays could hang out openly and not have to hide who they were. You see, while I’d been waiting for my chance to runaway, I’d started going to some gay chat rooms on the computer and discovered that a couple of the guys I met there lived in the city. They were happy to fill me in about this stuff and even gave me the names and addresses of a few places I might want to visit. I jotted down all of this information, because I figured if I went to any of those places then I might find someone who’d be willing to help me out. That’s how I ran into you, because I had written down the name and address of that bookstore as one of the places where I might find someone who might be willing to give me a few bucks. I guess I was really lucky that you were the first guy that came out and didn’t ignore me, like the previous guys had done.”

As I looked down at him, he flashed me a weak smile of thanks.

“I think I might have been the lucky one,” I told him, as seriously as I could, “because we’re not that different. You see, I have also just recently begun to open up about my sexuality and admit who I am, so maybe we can help each other through this.”

When I looked at Colt’s face again, his smile was so radiant that I could have turned off all of the lights in the house and still been able to find him in the dark.

“Leo, why are people like that? Why do they attack gays and others who are different and try to hurt them, even if they don’t have any proof they’re right?”

I knew he was looking for an answer, but I wasn’t sure I could give him one that would satisfy his curiosity.

“Colt, that’s a really tough question and there are probably multiple answers for it,” I began. “Some people seem to derive some sort of enjoyment out of belittling people who are perceived weaker or are different than themselves, but then there are others that foolishly buy into the garbage people are spreading about the group they’ve singled out. Finally, there are those people who only seem to be able to feel good about themselves when they are making others feel badly, but in those cases it’s more about them than it is about the people they’re picking on.”

Colt nodded his understanding, just before I heard the buzzer for the dryer go off.

“Hey, I’m going to go get your clothes and switch the others over from the washer to the dryer,” I informed him, “so I’ll be back in a few.”

He merely nodded in response, so I got up and headed toward the utility room. It took me a several minutes to fold everything and then move the second load to the dryer, so by the time I returned to the living room, I discovered Colt had fallen asleep on the sofa. I sat down in my chair, across from him, intending to watch a show on TV, but instead of doing that I found myself staring at Colt. I don’t know why I found him so fascinating, but I was content to just sit there and watch him lying on the sofa, sound asleep. It’s also when I began to take note of a few more details about his appearance. His brown hair was cut fairly short, yet still long enough so he could comb it across his forehead, and he had a noble Roman nose, that stood straight and proud in the center of his face. Unfortunately, his beautiful blue eyes were currently hidden beneath his closed eyelids and…

Wait! How did I know he had blue eyes? I’ve never been known to notice the color of a guy’s eyes before, so why did I notice his? I had to believe it was merely due to the number of times he had looked up at me through eyes filled with tears, which made it appear as if those dazzling blue orbs were watching me from beneath a pool.

I barely had time to reflect upon my atypical behavior and most recent observations when I found myself making even more mental notes about his appearance. This time, however, I focused on his delicate ears, strong chin and noticed how his upper lip seemed to be a bit thin, while his lower lip was full and puffy. As I continued to study him further, I couldn’t help but conclude that his features reminded me of the elfish qualities ascribed to characters I’d read about in fantasy stories. Even though some might not have found him handsome, or even modestly attractive, he seemed to exude a magnetic appeal that made me want to study him further.

As my eyes left his face and traveled down his torso, I couldn’t help but notice that he had the smallest nipples I think I’d ever seen on anyone, other than an infant. They were tiny, only slightly larger than an icon on a window’s screen, and a pale pinkish-red, yet I found them far more appealing than any nipples I’d ever seen. Below those delicate nubs, I could actually see the outline of each of his ribs and they led me down to his cute little bellybutton, which neither sank inward nor protruded out. His navel was merely an overlapping fold of skin that accentuated his midsection and looked so very perfect on him.

His arms and legs were both long and slender, with a limited amount of hair, while at the same time lacking definition and any serious muscle tone. In fact, his limbs had a spindly, bird-like quality to them, but on Colt they only seemed to accentuate his appeal. His hands were actually quite large, with long, thin fingers, while his feet where both long and narrow. I know my description probably doesn’t make him sound very attractive, but I found him quite intriguing. In fact, the only defect I found on his body was that he didn’t seem to have much of an ass. You see, he wasn’t blessed with a pert bubble-butt, the kind you so often hear described as being the most desirable, and instead his backside appeared to be flat and almost non-existent. The funny thing was, on him it didn’t seem to matter and I felt it only added to his cute, impish allure.

Reluctantly, I pulled my thoughts away from studying Colt and came to my senses long enough to realize that he might be getting chilled lying there, nearly naked. Since I didn’t wish to wake him and make him go down to the bedroom he was using, because I felt he probably needed to sleep, I went and fetched a blanket, so I could cover him with it. I also lifted his head enough so I was able to insert a small pillow under it, in an effort to make him more comfortable. Surprisingly, he didn’t awaken as a result of my efforts, so I forced myself to gaze away from him and focused on the boob tube instead.

No matter how interesting the television show might have been, I found myself continually glancing over at Colt instead. For some strange reason, this boy totally fascinated me, yet I knew I couldn’t become too attached to him. I had no way of knowing if he might take off at any minute, thus leaving me all alone again and pining for the little rascal who had so easily and rapidly wormed his way into my heart. What was wrong with me? I know better than to let someone affect me so deeply, especially this quickly, so why was I letting it happen now?

‘Get a grip on yourself,’ I thought. ‘He’s six years younger than you and probably not interested at all, so you can’t get your hopes up, only to have them dashed later.’

I was still pondering these thoughts when the buzzer on the dryer sounded again, so I went back to remove the last of Colt’s clothing from it. When I returned, Colt was sitting up on the sofa, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized. “I guess I must have been kinda tired.”

“It appears so, but it is getting late, so why don’t you just head to bed and go back to sleep. Here’s your clothes,” I added, while holding the laundry basket out in his direction, after I’d added the last of the items to it. “You might want to put something on first though.”

He took the laundry basket from me, set it down beside him on the sofa and extracted a pair of his underwear from it. He then stood up and dropped the towel to the floor, so he could put them on. His lack of modesty amazed me, but then I thought that possibly since his towel had fallen open earlier and I had gotten a fairly lengthy peek at his goodies at that time, Colt probably felt he had nothing left to hide. Whatever the reason, it was precisely what he’d done.

“I’d rather stay and watch some TV with you,” he told me, once he’d put something on, “unless you’re going to bed too.”

I wasn’t, so how could I refuse such a lovely offer?

“No, I was going to stay up a little while longer, so if you don’t think you’re ready to go to bed yet, then it’s fine with me if you want to stay out here too,” I replied.

He smiled, sat back down on the sofa and began watching the television again, but then he suddenly stopped and shifted his attention back toward me.

“You can come over here and sit with me, if you want,” he offered, while trying not to sound too eager.

“Is that what you want?” I asked in order to give him an out, just in case he was merely trying to be polite.

After a few seconds of uncertainty and possibly some minor panic about revealing his true intentions, he finally answered.

“Yeah, I think it would be nice,” he replied, as he grinned slightly and somehow avoided making eye contact with me.

Since he seemed eager for this to happen, I got up from my chair, walked over to the sofa and sat down without getting too close, because I wasn’t certain what this was about. After a minute or so, Colt reclined backward, so he was lying on the sofa again, but this time he was using my leg as a pillow. He managed to do this without saying a word or looking in my direction, so I wasn’t sure if he merely did this without thinking or if it was a conscious act to make contact with me. Whatever his motivation, I enjoyed this temporary closeness with him, so almost without thinking, I put my left hand on his shoulder and began stroking his hair with my right. A few seconds later, I realized what I was doing and quickly moved my right hand to the arm of the sofa.

“Please don’t stop,” Colt almost begged. “That felt good.”

Encouraged by his comment, I continued what I’d been doing only moments earlier and we stayed this way throughout the rest of that program and the one that followed. We were both yawning by the time the second show ended, so we gave in and decided it was time to go to bed. As Colt made his way down the hallway to the room he was using, he carried the laundry basket filled with the rest of his clothing. While he was doing that, I made sure everything was turned off and the front door was locked, before I started down the hallway and made my way to my bedroom.

“Sweet dreams,” I said, as I passed by the room Colt was using.

“You too, Leo, and thanks for everything,” he answered, just before I passed through my bedroom door.

I quickly went through my nightly preparations and then slid between the sheets. However, as I was drifting off to sleep, I found my thoughts filled with visions of Colt.