Butterflies Fly Free - 4. Chapter 4 – Making Adjustments

After a lengthy discussion, we decided it would be a good idea if I drove Colt around the local area to get him acquainted with it. I also used this opportunity to take him by the local public school, as well as past a prominent private school, in an effort to get him thinking about which institution he might like to attend. While we were out, we also stopped and picked up a few things I thought he would need for his classes, no matter which school he chose to attend.

When we got home, we checked out both schools’ websites, so Colt could find the additional information he would need to know in order to make his decision. Even though Colt seemed to prefer the options offered at the private school, he stated he would attend the public school instead. When I asked what led him to make this decision, he explained that he thought I had already spent too much on him, so he didn’t want me to have to pay for him to go to the private school too. I quickly countered that it wouldn’t be a problem, but he continued to hold firmly to his stance, so I tried to explain why I thought the private school would actually be a better option for him.

“Colt, the private school has smaller class sizes, which means your teachers will be able to spend more time helping you catch up on the material you’ve missed,” I reasoned. “The private school will also be more likely to have additional resources, such as tutors, lectures on CDs or other learning aids that will help you master the material.”

I was convinced it would be to his advantage if he went to the private school, so I also pointed out that it wouldn’t actually cost very much, since there were only a couple of months left before the end of the school year. I explained that the school would pro-rate the tuition to cover only the time he was there, so the money shouldn’t be a consideration in his decision. After he thought about it some more, he finally agreed to go to the private school, so then we began discussing how he’d prefer to travel there each morning and back again each afternoon. We lived far enough away from the school that he would be able to take the bus or I could drop him off on my way to work and then pick him up again later. If he wanted, I could also buy a bicycle for him to ride back and forth to classes, so he wouldn’t have to wait around for me to get out of work. Colt thought about this briefly and then stated that he’d like some additional time to think about it before he made up his mind, so I told him that would be fine.

Now that nearly everything had been taken care of, I told Colt I would drive him to the school the following day, so we could get him enrolled. I then asked him to put all of the things he was going to take with him in one place and lay out the clothes he was going to wear, so we wouldn’t have to rush around in the morning. He fussed a bit about having to do this and informed me that he always waited until the morning before deciding what he was going to wear that day. However, I told him I wanted everything to go smoothly in the morning, because we had to get to the school early, before classes started, so I could enroll him before I left for my place of employment.

I explained that the process was going to take some time and would go more smoothly if it took place before the other students were there, so there wouldn’t be any distractions. I reminded him that I needed to get through this as painlessly and quickly as possible, because I would be taking time off from my job to do this and didn’t want it to take longer than necessary. I was planning on calling in and giving my employer very short notice that I would be delayed as it was and didn’t want to aggravate the situation by being extremely late and causing my boss to become upset with me. After listening to my argument, Colt gave up his protest and did as I requested.

The rest of the day went smoothly and Colt talked almost non-stop, as he asked more questions about the school, the types of students that went there and anything else that popped into his mind. He also wanted to know how we were going to get his records transferred from his old school, since he didn’t want them contacting his parents and seeking their consent. I explained that since he was seventeen, I believed he was old enough to make the request to have this done, but if the school had problems with that, then I would contact a lawyer to find out what it would take to have him declared emancipated from his family. I explained that if we did this, then it would remove the last obstacle and allow him to make his own decisions, but it would legally protect me as well. After hearing my response, he seemed satisfied, so we moved on to other things.

“Leo, I see you have a portable basketball hoop outside,” he commented, while carefully gauging my reaction. “Do you play?”

“Of course I do,” I replied grinning. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have it.”

Colt didn’t realize it at the time, but he had accidentally ventured upon one of my passions. I absolutely loved the game. Even though I was only a slightly above-average player, I was a college basketball junkie and followed the sport religiously. I would watch nearly every televised game, but I would also personally attend any nearby games I could get tickets for.

“Ok, I want to challenge you then,” Colt announced, looking confident.

Noting his positive attitude and smug demeanor, it made me wonder what secrets he was holding back about his athletic prowess.

“Done,” I announced, since I was looking forward to the opportunity to test his skills.

We hurriedly went to our rooms and changed into appropriate attire, before I went to fetch the basketball out of the garage. We took a few minutes to loosen up first and then took a few practice shoots, before we began our game. From the start, Colt’s raw ability impressed me. He was extremely quick, his actions were smooth and his knowledge of the basics of the game was sound. He also had a slight advantage, in that he was a bit taller than me and had longer arms, which made me work hard just to keep up with him. The only thing in my favor was that his shooting was a little rusty.

It was a very intense match-up and we were both highly motivated to win, since we each had something to prove to the other. The game was nip and tuck the entire way, but I managed to pull ahead at the end and won by a couple of buckets. I think this shocked Colt, but it also made him look at me differently. I believe before we started playing that Colt assumed the six years difference in our age meant I wouldn’t be able to compete with him physically, but it now seemed as if this particular misconception had been dispelled. Once we finished playing, it was almost as if we were just two high school buddies who had just finished playing against each other.

Since we had each worked hard trying to win, we were both more than a little exhausted and quite sweaty from the activity, so we went inside to clean up. I used the bathroom off of my bedroom, while Colt used the shower in the bathroom off of the hallway. I must have been a little quicker than he was, because when I came back out I could still hear the water running in the other bathroom as I walked by. Since I figured he must also be hungry by now, I went out to the kitchen and started preparing dinner. I had only been working on it for a few minutes when I was startled by the sound of his voice.

“What are we having?” he asked.

As I turned around to answer him, I noticed he was drying his hair with the towel, while standing naked in front of me. I was completely shocked and momentarily left speechless, but I couldn’t pull my eyes away from his marvelous body. As I glanced upward, I could see a smug, self-satisfied expression on his face.

“Do you think it’s wise to run around the house like that?” I asked.

I felt I should say something about what he was doing, even if I was slightly unsure as to how I should broach the topic.

“It’s not a big deal,” he explained. “I’ve been naked in front of other guys before, like in the locker room and the showers at the pool.”

He flashed me a very seductive grin after he finished saying this.

“But what if someone happened to come to the door or saw you standing there like that through one of the windows?” I asked, as I resorted to saying something my parents might have said. I actually cringed as the words escaped from my lips.

“Hey, if it gives them a thrill,” he teased, as he winked at me, “but I don’t think anyone can see in and I’d have time to get back to my room before you opened the door.”

I couldn’t think of anything else to say to him, so I turned back to the task at hand.

“I’m making chicken with a sweet and sour sauce glaze,” I told him, without looking in his direction. “I’m also fixing a couple of baked potatoes and a salad to go along with it. Is that ok with you?”

“Yeah, it sounds fine,” he told me, while he continued to stand behind me and dry off.

Since I didn’t want him to know that his actions were getting to me, I continued to concentrate on what I was doing, but I knew he hadn’t left the kitchen. However, by the time I turned back around, he had been considerate enough to wrap the towel around his waist. That took some of the pressure off of me, but I was still mildly aroused just thinking about him being there and knowing what was under that small piece of fabric.

“You’re better at basketball than I expected,” Colt stated, interrupting my thoughts.

His comment almost made it sound as if he’d expected me to have one foot in the grave. Hell, I’m only twenty-three. Does he really think THAT is old?

“You are too,” I shot back, not conceding anything.

“It was fun though,” Colt countered, “so I hope we can do it again.”

“Oh, I don’t see why not,” I responded, “as long as you don’t mind getting beat every time.”

I added that last part to get him going.

“Hey, you just barely won today, but next time I’m going to beat the pants off of you,” he challenged, confidently.

“Then we’d better play indoors, because I’m not a nudist at heart, like you seem to be,” I teased back.

At first, he seemed a little shocked by my comment, while thinking I was criticizing his earlier behavior, but then he must have realized I was just joking.

“Well, I can’t help it if you’re ashamed of your body,” he jabbed back. “And I promise I won’t make fun of your little pee-pee.”

Ouch! That shot was below the belt. Not only had Colt mocked my manhood, but he also used the childish name for it, in an attempt to gain a sense of superiority over me.

“Oh, a wise-guy, huh?” I countered, just before I wielded about and grabbed hold of him.

Now that I had Colt in my grasp, I immediately began to tickle him, as punishment for his insolence. As he squirmed about to get away, his towel fell to the ground, so now I was attacking a wiggling, naked boy. I was about to ease up on my attack and let him go, since I began to feel this had already gotten out of hand, but when I did, he attacked me and tried to tickle me back, so I couldn’t just ignore the challenge. As each of us continued to try to get the upper hand, it soon became obvious this had blossomed into more than just a tickling match. Colt was definitely quite aroused, and so was I, but my erection wasn’t quite as obvious as his, since I was still fully dressed. Finally, I decided it was time to end the shenanigans.

“Ok, truce,” I called out, trying to give him a chance to quit gracefully.

“What’s the matter, getting tired old man,” Colt quipped, issuing a new challenge.

“No, I was just giving you a way out, so you wouldn’t have to lose again,” I replied, offering a dig of my own. It didn’t go unnoticed.

“I let you win at basketball,” he responded, although I knew it wasn’t true, “but this time I’m going to beat your butt.”

“Oh, so you’re into that kinky stuff,” I shot back, instinctively, although I later regretted my impulse to put a sexual twist on our verbal joust.

“You’d probably like that, wouldn’t you?” Colt countered quickly, having picked up on the sexual innuendo.

Encouraged, he redoubled his attack upon my body. Now, it was an all out wrestling match, but I had a definite advantage, since I weighed more than Colt, so I used it to my benefit. I quickly took him to the floor and pinned him on his back, with my butt resting across his hips and my hands pinning his arms above his head and against the floor. I was also doing my best trying not to notice his erection pressing against my backside.

“Now do you give?” I asked, hoping to put an end to this nonsense.

“No, way!” he countered, before doing something totally unexpected.

As he was refusing to surrender, he somehow managed to flip me off of his waist and onto my back, while taking advantage of my momentary lapse in focus. Since I had been expecting him to concede and end the struggle, I wasn’t prepared for this maneuver. However, he was now straddling my thighs and leaning forward, so he was able to grind his midsection against my own. I wasn’t sure if this was an unconscious or conscious action on his part, but I was afraid of totally losing control of the situation, so I used every ounce of strength I could muster to gain the upper hand again. To his complete surprise, I rolled him off of me and pinned him against the floor again, but this time I kept him there until he gave up. Before he conceded defeat, however, he managed to pull off one final surprise. As I sat on top of him, demanding he declare me the victor, he lifted his head and kissed me on the lips.

“Ok, you win this time too,” he stated, cheekily, after breaking the kiss.

Suddenly, I understood the reason he was giving up. It was because he felt he’d won more than just this little struggle. He had managed to wrestle naked with me, humped his erection against mine and gave me a kiss. I wasn’t sure if doing these things, or something similar, had been his intention all along, but if it had, he certainly had been successful at carrying out his plan.

After I let him up, I went back to fixing dinner, but my head was spinning from everything that had just taken place. There was no doubt in my mind that Colt was coming on to me and I didn’t know how to handle it. On one level, I wanted to just pick him up, whisk him down the hall to my bedroom and give in to our lust, but on the other hand I was afraid of doing anything like that. It certainly wasn’t because it broke society’s laws or there might be criminal repercussions from such an encounter, because legally he had reached the age of consent in this state.

What troubled me about this situation was that in the short time I had known Colt, I found myself increasingly attracted to him. I had also been deeply affected by his actions, but knew I couldn’t allow this to continue, so now I was worried that I might hurt his feelings, especially if I forced him to discontinue these sort of activities. I hated it whenever I thought Colt was upset with me or, worse yet, if I felt he hated me, so I had to walk a very fine line to keep those things from happening. It’s just that I wanted him to feel the same way about me that I did about him, but I also needed to be sure he wasn’t merely doing these things because he felt obligated or that he owed me. If we were going to end up being lovers, I wanted him to give himself to me fully and freely because that’s what he wanted to do and not out of some misguided sense of duty or as a way of compensating me for what I was doing for him.

Colt continued to flitter about the house, while remaining completely naked and acting happier than I had seen him up to this point. I watched him intently, since I needed to find a way to discover why he was doing these things. Maybe I shouldn’t be so worried about his motives and merely enjoy the fact that he had made a play for me and was obviously willing to give himself up for my pleasure. The problem I was having was being convinced he was doing this for the right reasons. I wanted, no make that needed, something more than just a one-night stand or short-term relationship.

It’s possible that I feel this way because I’ve been guilty of imagining a moment such as this for far too long. I’ve been continually praying for the chance to fall in love with someone like Colt, so now that he’s come into my life, this underlying desire might be affecting my judgment. Now that something like this might be in the offing, I wanted it to result in a deep-seated commitment and the never-ending type of love that poets and writers so elegantly romanticize. This concept was just so ingrained in my psyche that I felt committed to accept nothing less, yet I also didn’t want to turn him away. The more I pondered this situation, the more confused I became about what the future might hold for us.

Colt, on the other hand, seemed relaxed and happier than he had been since we first met. He would continually brush against me whenever he passed by and then smile broadly in my direction before he walked away. I knew this was a sexual game he was playing, so I began to worry where it might be leading. Did I let him get the wrong idea when I allowed him to grind against me when we were wrestling? Should I have chastised him for having done it afterward? Should I have also protested when he kissed me? Was I making another error in judgment now by allowing him to run around naked and not demand that he get dressed? Was letting these situations pass without speaking up going to backfire on me later? I was totally confused and unsure what to do next or how to respond. Instead, I decided to wait and cross that bridge when we came to it, although I had no idea when that might be.

While we ate dinner, Colt chatted excitedly throughout the entire meal. He commented about our basketball game and told me how much fun he’d had, but he also mentioned the wrestling match that followed. He even asked more questions about his new school and inquired about what type of job he might be able to find for the summer.

“How about taking care of lawns for people who either can no longer do it themselves or just don’t want to be bothered,” I suggested. “That way you can continue to work for them on the weekends once school starts again in the fall. Most of the demands on your time will be made during the summer months when the grass grows the most, so there won’t be as much to do once classes begin, unless they want to hire you to take care of the leaves too.”

“I guess that sounds like a good idea,” he responded, “since I did those kind of things at home. The only problem is that I don’t have any equipment to use, unless the people let me use their lawnmowers and other tools.”

“Well, I suppose most might,” I told him, “but I already have all of the equipment you will need and I’d be happy to let you use it, if they don’t have the appropriate items. So, what do you think?”

Colt readily agreed that he liked my suggestion, so now all he had to do was line up some prospective customers and establish appropriate fees. I could tell he was trying to figure out how he might do this as we ate, so I gave him time to come up with an idea on his own.

After dinner, Colt helped me clean up and put things away, while humming some of his favorite tunes as we worked. He seemed as giddy as a schoolgirl experiencing her first crush and this sent up another red flag for me. I didn’t say anything though and allowed him to continue on his merry way, and when we sat down to watch television later, he even asked me to sit on the sofa with him. I agreed to do so and plopped down beside him, and then he immediately leaned back against me and stayed that way while we watched a couple of programs.

When the last show ended, I decided it was time for bed, since we both had big days ahead of us tomorrow. When I suggested this to Colt I expected an argument, but much to my surprise, he eagerly agreed to my request. I watched in awe as he headed down the hallway and entered his room, while I locked up the house and turned off the lights. Once I had completed those tasks, I went to my own room as well.

After a quick wash up, I stripped down to my underwear and slipped into bed. I was just beginning to doze off, when I heard the door to my room creak open. Although I felt I knew who was there, I still opened my eyes halfway and watched as a shadowy figure entered. I thought Colt might have experienced a bad dream, although I doubt he would have had time to fall asleep yet, so it was possible he could just be too excited to sleep and wanted to talk some more. I opted to wait and see what he was going to say or do next and was somewhat taken aback when he merely walked over to the other side of my bed, slipped under the covers, put his arm over my body and cuddled up against me.

“Colt,” I began, as I rolled over to face him, “what do you think you’re doing?”

“I was lonely and wanted to be with you,” he explained, meekly.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” I told him. “We both need our rest tonight and I’m not sure either of us will get much sleep like this.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, seemingly confused by my response.

“What I mean is, I for one am not used to sleeping with another person,” I explained, “so just having someone else in my bed might keep me awake most of the night.”

Although I couldn’t see his face to read his expression, I knew he was disappointed, as indicated by his response.

“Oh, I see,” he whispered in a huff. “So you want me to go back to the other bedroom?”

“I think that would be best,” I answered, although my heart had its doubts. “Don’t you?”

“Not really,” he replied, dejectedly. “I think I would sleep better in here with you.”

I could tell I had crushed his hopes yet again, but I also understood that I couldn’t let him move things along at such a rapid pace. If something was going to happen between us, I wanted it to happen slowly and over a period of time, not in the blink of an eye. I didn’t want to totally dash his hopes either, because I wouldn’t mind doing something like this sometime in the future, so I phrased my response carefully.

“Maybe another time,” I suggested, to let him know he wasn’t being completely rejected and offering him a ray of hope. “If it wasn’t going to be such a long and busy day for us I might reconsider, but I think it would be best if we didn’t do this tonight.”

“All right,” he said, as he crawled out of my bed, “but I don’t agree.”

That parting shot let me know he was still unhappy about my decision, without allowing the situation to disintegrate into a fight. I watched as he slinked out of my room, like a puppy that had just been scolded, so it was quite obvious he wasn’t happy.

It took a while for me to fall asleep after he left, mainly because I kept thinking about what might have been. I’m not sure if people can really fall in love this quickly or if we were both merely responding to each other’s particular pain and loneliness. Was this truly love or were we just grabbing at a quick and easy way to end our unhappiness? I, for one, needed something more than an easy fix for such a complex problem.

Eventually, I fell asleep, but I endured a fitful night’s rest. I was still disillusioned and very tired when the alarm went off the next morning, but I got up nonetheless. As I did, my only thought was, ‘what is this day going to bring?’