Butterflies Fly Free - 3. Chapter 3 – Even Roses Have Thorns

The night passed by peacefully and I awoke early the next morning wonderfully refreshed and rearing to go. I knew it was likely that Colt wouldn’t be waking up for quite some time, so I went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, since I needed a cup of java to kick-start my day. While I waited for it to finish brewing, I went to the front stoop and retrieved the morning newspaper, since I’m a subscriber. I carried it into the kitchen, poured my first cup of coffee and then took both into the dining room, where I down at the table perusing the headlines, while getting my initial caffeine fix. I guess it must have been a half-hour later when a voice startled me from behind.

“Why did you get up so early?” it said, groggily.

I turned around to see Colt attempting to stretch his body back to life.

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” I apologized, “but I thought I was pretty quiet. You can go back to sleep, if you want.”

“You didn’t wake me,” he countered, quickly. “I just smelled the coffee and wanted a cup. Do you mind?”

“No, not at all,” I assured him. “Cups are in the cupboard to the right of the sink, cream is in the fridge and both the sugar and artificial sweetener are here on the table. Help yourself to whatever you need. By the way, what would you like for breakfast?”

“Uh, I can fix it myself,” he added meekly. “You don’t have to do it for me.”

“Well, I don’t really have much on hand,” I told him, “so I was thinking maybe we could go out to eat instead. That way we can talk while we wait for our food, because there are a few things we need to discuss.”

I suddenly noticed the expression on Colt’s face change to one of worry.

“Relax, it’s nothing bad,” I assured him. “You just need to make a few decisions, such as what you want to happen next. Does that sound ok to you?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, as he began to relax a bit, “but I hate for you to have to keep paying for me to eat at a restaurant. That’s more expensive than fixing something here. You know, we could just go to the grocery store and pick up a few things instead and then I can fix both of us breakfast. How about we do that instead?”

I was impressed with his concern about me spending too much, but there were other factors that had prompted my offer.

“Tell you what,” I responded, “I’ll take a rain check on having you fix breakfast for us, because I really don’t want to wait that long before I eat. We’d have to drive to the store, do our shopping, drive home and then prepare the food first, before we could eat, so if you don’t mind I’d really prefer to take you out instead. That way, not only will my belly get full faster, but we’ll also be able to relax and enjoy our time together, while we talk things over. Trust me, we’ll have plenty of time to fix our meals at home later.”

After thinking about this for a couple of seconds, Colt nodded his head in agreement, so we finished our coffee, before heading back to the bedrooms to get dressed.

After arriving at the diner, being seated and placing our orders, I decided it was time to get Colt thinking about his future.

“Colt, since you’re seventeen you are legally old enough to become emancipated from your parents and live on your own, unless you’d prefer to just wait a few months until you turn eighteen. I don’t think it would take much to become emancipated, if you’d prefer to do that now, but taking that route would protect us legally as well.”

“Emancipation? Isn’t that what Lincoln did for the slaves?” Colt wondered.

“It is, because he freed them from their masters,” I replied, “but in your case it would just mean that you would be freed from the control of your parents. Is that something you’d like to happen?”

“Yes! Doing that would be great,” he answered adamantly. “My parents have made it clear they don’t want anything more to do with me, so I don’t want to ever see them again either.”

I was sad to hear he felt this way, but I could understand why he did.

“Ok, if that’s what you want,” I told him, “but then what do you plan to do after that? Are you going to finish school or are you planning to get a job?”

He thought this over for a few seconds before he answered.

“I guess I’d like to finish school,” he told me, almost dreamily, “but I guess I’ll have to go to work in order to have the money I’ll need to live on my own.”

He seemed almost disappointed by the prospect.

“Not necessarily,” I countered.

My statement caused his head to jerk up abruptly, as he stared at me with a questioning expression upon his face.

“What do you mean?” he shot back. “How can I live on my own without any money?”

“Well, I’d be willing to help you with that, if you want,” I explained.

“Help me how?” Colt pressed, not understanding what I had in mind.

It was possible that he was concerned about the types of duties he might have to fulfill in order to gain my assistance, so I wished to dispel his fears.

“As long as you stay in school, I’d be happy to let you live with me and I’d take care of the financial matters for you,” I responded, while looking Colt straight in the eye. I saw his mouth drop open slightly, as my comment registered with him.

“But won’t that mean you’ll end up paying for my food, clothes and other stuff?” he wanted to know. “What would I have to do in return for you doing that?”

“Yes, I guess I would be paying for those things,” I admitted, “but I don’t mind and you wouldn’t have to do anything to pay me back. All I ask is that you keep your grades up. I have a decent job and can afford to help you out, but it won’t really cost much more than I’m spending now.”

I smiled and winked at him, to let him know I was being sincere.

“That’s really nice of you,” he agreed, “but I can’t make you do that. I wouldn’t mind living with you and all, but I don’t want you to have to spend more money on me.”

His face was set with determination, so I could tell it wasn’t going to be easy to change his mind about this.

“Ok, how about a compromise then,” I suggested. “School will be over in a month or so, so let’s get you through that first. You’ll have some catching up to do and that will be hard enough, especially with changing schools too. Once the academic year is over, I’ll help you find a job for the summer months, and then once school starts again in the fall, you’ll have a choice. You can continue to work weekends and do that for as long as you like, providing you keep your grades up, or you may stop working and just concentrate on your studies. Either option is fine with me, so does this meet with your approval.”

He studied my face for a few seconds and then began to smile.

“Yeah, that will be fine,” he answered, while looking a little more self-assured. “I’m willing to work both during the summer and again next fall, but I still don’t understand why you’re willing to do so much for me.”

“That’s easy,” I quipped. “In the short time I’ve known you, I’ve discovered that you are worth it. I just want to make sure you get treated a little better now than you have in the past.”

“I’m still not sure why you care,” he told me, “but I appreciate what you’re doing, so thank you very much. I promise that I’ll do everything I can to make sure you don’t regret this.”

“Oh, I’m sure I won’t,” I admitted, just to let him know I trusted him.

I guess my response must have paid off, because the look on his face was priceless and more than enough to compensate for whatever I’d end up spending on him. Even though I was only six years older than him, I was beginning to feel almost as if I were his father. Can you imagine that?

We were still lost in the moment, each consumed in his own thoughts, when the waitress showed up with our order. She placed the food in front of us, although I’m not sure either of us was totally aware of her presence or actions, but we both became aware when she spoke.

“Do you need ketchup or anything else?” she asked.

“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” I replied.

I also glanced over at Colt, to be certain that he didn’t want something else, but since he didn’t say a word in response, I guess he didn’t need anything either. This was good, because by this time the waitress had already walked away, as we slowly focused on the plates in front of us and began eating, but we did this in silence, since we were still lost in the emotional issues we had just been discussing.

Even though he never said anything, I could tell that Colt was deep in thought about something. I felt it best that I didn’t disturb his mental deliberations and let him continue with whatever it was that consumed him. When we finished eating, I led him out to the car, and when I turned around, Colt was standing behind me, on my side of the vehicle.

“Were you expecting to drive?” I asked, while trying to use a little humor to discover what was going on.

“Um, no,” he told me nervously. “I just wanted to do this,” he continued, as he threw his arms around my chest and squeezed tightly. “Thank you for everything,” he added, when he finally broke the hug. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Hey, none of this mushy stuff,” I quipped, as he moved away. “Just hop in, because we have a couple other stops to make before we return home.”

He raised his eyebrows questioningly, while trying to figure out what I planned to do next.

“Where are we going now?” he wanted to know, as he slid into the front seat.

“I guess I might as well tell you,” I explained. “If you’re going to stay with me and go back to school, then you’re going to need more clothes than what you brought with you, so I was going to take you to the mall to pick up a few things. After that, I thought we should stop at the grocery store and stock up on food.”

“Leo, you don’t have to spend more money on me,” Colt announced, while looking very concerned.

“I know I don’t have to, but you definitely need some new clothes, so I’m going to get them for you,” I responded, adamantly. “You don’t have enough decent things to wear to school and I don’t want you wearing the same things day after day. Now, don’t argue with me, because we’re going to do this. Ok?”

“Ok, but I’ll find a way to pay you back later,” he agreed.

How could I not be impressed with his desire to carry his own weight?

“If that’s what you want to do,” I conceded, “but it’s not necessary. This is just to get you started.”

He shrugged his shoulders slightly and nodded once more, to let me know he was giving in. I drove directly to the mall, so he didn’t have time to dwell on the idea for very long.

We went around to a variety of stores and picked up different things along the way. Colt kept arguing with me that this item or that one was too expensive and we could buy something cheaper, but I wanted him to be able to fit in with the other kids. It was going to be difficult enough to transfer and adjust to a new school this late in the academic year, without standing out by wearing clothing the other students would make fun of. After going into a detailed explanation about the facts of life with him, we each made a few concessions and came away with some things we both thought were acceptable.

After loading everything into the trunk of the car, we drove to the grocery store next. I took Colt down every aisle and would ask him questions such as if he liked a particular item or if he saw anything he wanted. He seemed hesitant to make suggestions, so I told him if he didn’t let me know what he liked then he’d have to eat whatever I prepared. Finally, he began to mention that he didn’t really care for some of the things I pointed out, so we’d switched to something he found more acceptable instead.

Once we finished our shopping, I drove home and Colt helped me carry everything inside. Once we finished doing that, Colt went to put his things away in his room, while I took care of the groceries. When he came back out a few minutes later, I was nearly finished with that task.

“Leo, how did you get your name?” he asked, and then quickly realized his question didn’t sound exactly polite. “I mean, I know your parents named you and all, but isn’t Leo kind of an old man’s name.”

I giggled at his comment, which caused Colt to look nervous. I figured he was worried that he might have just hurt my feelings.

“A bunch of my friends used to tell me the same thing,” I added with a chuckle, “and you’re right. It’s not a name you hear much any more. The thing is, when I was born in August, under the Zodiac sign for ‘Leo,’ my mother thought it was a divine signal that I should be named after her father, Leo. That’s how I wound up with each of my grandfathers’ names and became Leo Edward.”

“I think they should have put them in the other order,” Colt announced, while making a slight face.

I couldn’t argue with his logic, because I’d also heard that same comment from my friends before, but I decided to use the same logic against him.

“I guess,” I told him, “but didn’t you get teased about being a young horse?”

At first he acted shocked that I had mentioned this, but then he began to laugh.

“Yeah, many times,” he admitted, “but it wasn’t too bad.”

“Well, neither was the teasing I got about being named Leo or being compared to a lion or an old man,” I joked back.

Colt looked over and studied my face briefly.

“I’m glad you didn’t get upset when I asked you that question,” he admitted, looking somewhat relieved.

“Colt, don’t ever be afraid to say or ask me anything,” I assured him. “If I don’t like what you say or prefer not to answer your question then I’ll just tell you, but I’ll never get angry. You don’t have to worry about expressing exactly what’s on your mind. Ok?”

He smiled.

“Yeah, it’s more than ok,” he replied.

We continued chatting a while longer, until it was time for lunch, and after we finished eating, I asked Colt what he wanted to do next.

“Didn’t you say you bought a couple of DVDs at that store?” he wanted to know, while his eyebrows danced up and down.

“Yes,” I admitted, while already having a fair idea about where this was going.

“Well, how about we watch one of them,” he suggested.

I must admit that I initially liked his idea, but then I began to have second thoughts. My first concern about doing what he wanted was of a legal nature, because even though I knew Colt’s ID showed he was older than the state’s legal age of consent, I realized school identifications can be easily faked. Maybe he really was only fourteen, as I first suspected. Not only that, but it could also be argued that he would have to be 18 to view these pornographic materials, since that’s how old you had to be to purchase them in a store or to view adult sites on the Internet. For that reason, I was more than a little concerned about indulging him on this. Besides, we were in the south and sometimes law enforcement has a way of making things look the way they want and far worse than they actually were. I didn’t want to put myself in such a situation, so I was hesitant about giving in.

As I continued to ponder this dilemma, I began to realize there was more to my reluctance than possible problems with the law, but how could I tell Colt this? How could I let him know what my real concern was? I had already begun to hope that I’d be able to build a lasting relationship with him, but I didn’t want it to happen until he was of age. I didn’t want our first time together to be driven by porn, because I was afraid we might both lose control and be tempted to do something, just because our hormones had been ramped up a few notches by watching the actors. If we eventually did make love to each other, I preferred it not be cheap and dirty and that he’d be legal. The first time should be special and leave us with memories we could cherish, so I didn’t want it to appear as though an erotic DVD had fueled our physical attraction to each other. If this happened, I didn’t want Colt to ever have any regrets about what we did, but the problem was, he continued to press me for an answer, so I had to tell him something.

“Well?” he whined, while looking at me hopefully.

“Colt, I’m not going to say you can’t watch the DVDs,” I began, “but I don’t feel that I can legally show them to you. However, if you happen to find them laying around and decide to view them on your own, well… how would I know, if I wasn’t there at the time.”

I thought that would satisfy him, but I was wrong.

“Come on, Leo. I want us to do this together,” he whined. “I’m not going to tell anyone, so how would they know?”

He looked crushed and I couldn’t blame him. In reality, I was a little disappointed too.

“Look, I’m not going to stop you from watching them,” I told him. “It’s just that I think it would be best that we not do it together.”

“But I want to watch them with you,” Colt announced, before his face suddenly began to turn red.

That’s when I realized there was possibly more to his desire than just seeing nude bodies and watching sex scenes, so I wasn’t sure how to react. I began to suspect that Colt was hoping to use the DVDs to get me in the mood to do something with him, and as much as I would have liked that, I was sure we would both come to regret it later. I didn’t want it to happen under those circumstances, especially since he wasn’t exactly legal.

“Colt, I can’t do that,” I told him, frankly. “I’ll think about it some more, if you want, but it’s my opinion that it just wouldn’t be right.”

I guess I was talking more about what I thought he might want to do, rather than just watching a DVD. I could read the disappointment on his face, which made me feel badly, but both of us might have felt worse about it at some point later, if I’d actually given in to him. To avoid a prolonged confrontation, I went outside and got busy puttering around with some yard work I needed to do. Even though my heart wasn’t into it, it did help to distract me and get me away from having to deal with Colt’s request.

When I came back inside, I noticed Colt had gone to his room and shut the door, so I didn’t bother him. Instead, I washed up and began to prepare dinner. When it was ready, I called Colt and he came out, but he didn’t speak at all, which meant we ate the entire meal in silence. This made me begin to question if my earlier decision was going to destroy everything we had gained up to this point and then I wondered who would end up giving in first. After dinner, we cleaned up the mess and went in to the living room, so we could watch some television, but once again this was done in silence. Colt sat on the sofa, while I relaxed in my favorite chair, but we didn’t look at or speak to each other.

We watched a couple of programs this way, without either of us saying a word, but eventually Colt got up and went to his room, without even glancing at me as he passed by. I was really worried that I had made a major blunder in dealing with him and that maybe he would change his mind about staying with me, but I hoped not. It was just that he seemed to take my refusal to watch the DVDs with him as more of a personal affront and an insult, which was certainly not what I had intended.

I decided it would be best to not confront him about this tonight, so I planned to wait and see how things went from here. I couldn’t help but be deeply concerned about his reaction though and wondered how this was going to end up. As I made my way down the hallway to go to my bedroom, I noticed his door was closed, the light was off and I couldn’t hear any sounds inside. Silently, I crept past his room and went to my own, so I could turn in for the night. I didn’t fall to sleep right away, since my thoughts remained on Colt, as I continued to question my previous actions.

I had a very restless night and actually wondered if I might wake up in the morning and find him gone. I hoped not, but only time would tell. When my eyes popped open around the usual time I got up, I went to make a pot of coffee and read the newspaper, after confirming everything looked the same as it had when I went to bed the previous evening. While the coffee was brewing, I decided to prepare things so I could make some French toast when Colt joined me, and once I had everything ready, I sat and waited. In fact, I waited over an hour and he still hadn’t shown, so I debated about having my breakfast without him. However, I just didn’t feel right doing that, so I went down and knocked on his door.

“What?” came the response from inside.

“Colt, I just came to see if you were hungry,” I told him. “I’m ready to make French toast and thought you might like to come join me.”

He did not respond.

“Colt, I’m not sure what you think I might have done, but nothing has changed between us,” I offered. “I still welcome you into my home and look forward to you staying here.”

I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I lowered my head and turned away from the door, ready to return to the kitchen. Just as I took my first step down the hallway, I heard Colt’s door open. I stopped and turned back to look in his direction.

“Do you have maple syrup too,” he asked in a whisper, while still avoiding my gaze.

“Oh, course,” I told him, encouraged. “French toast just isn’t the same without maple syrup.”

After making this comment, I merely turned and walked back to the kitchen, while hoping Colt would follow. Fortunately, he did. Maybe things weren’t as bad as I had imagined or possibly his teenage need for food was far greater than the hurt I’d caused him.

I immediately began to fix the French toast and piled it onto Colt’s plate and it was disappearing nearly as quickly as I could make it. Seeing he was enjoying this, I continued to make more for him, until he told me he was full, and then I fixed some for myself.

“I’m sorry, I thought you’d already eaten,” Colt apologized, when I sat down to eat. “If I’d have known you hadn’t, I would have waited until you had something first, before I asked for more.”

He looked as if he felt terrible about making me wait to eat.

“Colt, it’s not a big deal,” I remarked, thinking this would make him feel better. “In fact, it felt good watching you enjoy my cooking so much.”

His head suddenly tilted upward and he flashed me a huge smile. A few seconds later, he stood up, walked behind me and wrapped his arms around my body, from behind.

“Thanks, Leo. I’m sorry I was being such a jerk earlier,” he told me.

“Would you like to talk about that?” I asked, hoping I could discover exactly what had been bothering him. He looked at me for a moment, before he replied.

“No, maybe it would be better if we forget it happened,” he replied. “I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry, but I think we should leave it at that.”

“If that’s what you want,” I told him, while remaining slightly disappointed that we hadn’t cleared the air.

I was afraid something like this might surface again in the future, but I didn’t think pushing him now would help either. In fact, I was worried that it might put us in worse shape than we were before. Accepting the small victory I had already gained, I let the topic drop. Instead, I tried to determine how he wished to spend the day, because I wanted to make the most of it. After all, it was Sunday and I would have to go to work tomorrow, after taking him to be enrolled in school.