In Our Darkness - 15. Chapter 15: The Life of Andy

13 Years After The Accident

What was worse than getting evicted while going through withdrawal, 19-year-old Andy Morris wondered to himself as he stood in the middle of his sad excuse for a studio apartment while his landlord droned on about how she’d given him enough time, how he owned her three months in back rent, and how he needed to get the hell out immediately.

As much as Andy wanted to get the hell out, he had nowhere else to go. This was the only home he ever had, and he didn’t want to be back on the streets.

“This is unconstitutional man,” he griped back at her, pulling on the string of his washed-out black hoodie. “You can’t just kick me out, I have rights.” His alert blue eyes darted around the room helplessly. This room was all he fucking had, and now he was going to lose it. He continued the fight, but he knew that the battle was lost. He had no ground to stand on. He was about to become homeless, yet again. He didn’t even have a car. He gave the box that possessed all his belongings a swift kick and hurt his big toe in the process.

“Ow! Goddamit,” he cussed and kicked the box again.

“You need to leave, asshole,” his landlord Susan asked for the fifth time. She was an older Polish woman with a big heart, but once you crossed her, she did not play around. And it looked like Andy had crossed her for good this time.

“Alright, chill for one second. Let me just get my thoughts together. Jesus.” She was about to throw something at him when they heard a knock on the open door followed by a soft female voice.

“Let’s drop that candle, Mrs. Kasinski, I don’t want to charge you with assault,” detective Bryce said as she walked in.

“Oh, thank God you’re here detective Bryce, this woman is trying to kick me out against my will! She just barged in here telling me to leave. There’s laws against that, right? This isn’t legal! She didn’t even knock!”

“I’ve given him sufficient time to leave, please, I need to rent out this apartment, can’t you do something?” Mrs. Kasinksi asked Kat Bryce.

“Andy, you can’t stay here, you know that.”

“I get it, alright, I get it. But can’t I just have some time? I need to get my possessions in order, I mean, I need to put everything together and find a place to store it.”

“Everything you own is in that box!” shouted Mrs. Kasinski. “A bong pipe and syringes—isn’t that all you need anyway?” she asked sarcastically.

“Now, now, let’s all calm down. Mrs. Kasinski, can’t you give Andy until tomorrow, out of the kindness of your heart?” Kat asked the stunned and very annoyed landlord. “I will personally escort him out tomorrow,” she added.

Mrs. Kasinski wasn’t happy about this arrangement, but she slowly nodded her head in agreement.

“Fine, you have until 1:00pm tomorrow. But not a minute longer. And I am holding you responsible for him,” she said addressing Kat.

“You have my word,” Kat promised.

“Thank you, you’re a life saver detective Bryce,” Andy said as he closed the door behind Mrs. Kasinski. “I’m sorry she called you out here for this.”

“Andy, what happened to getting your life together?” the pretty red-headed detective asked. Although she was many years older than him, Kat Bryce was the most naturally beautiful woman Andy had ever seen. Her shiny red hair, tightly pulled into a bun. Her beautiful pale complexion and bright eyes. And her stunning red lips. If Andy Morris felt deserving, he would have made a move on her. But, he knew beautiful female detectives wanted nothing to do with scummy junkie 19-year-olds. However, a man could still dream.

“I know, I know, I was doing really good but, shit just came up.”

“Shit just came up, hmm,” she replied walking over to his box, as he tried covering it up. “Andy, you need to stop doing drugs, you need to get help. You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do not waste it on this toxic crap. Do not waste it trying to escape reality. Reality is harsh, but it’s also beautiful.”

“Right on, Shakespeare, thank you for that speech,” he replied jokingly. He was grateful for the friendly banter him and Kat indulged in. He met her two years ago when a neighbor of the house he was squatting at called in a complaint. She was the nicest cop he’d ever met, and in his short life he had met quite a few. She encouraged him to get help, go to AA, get his life together.

“I’m serious. You’re a bright, intelligent, capable young man. I don’t want to see you waste yourself like this. There are many great resources.”

“Yeah, yeah, the places where they tell you what to eat, when to sleep, and teach you all about Jesus Christ. Sorry detective Bryce, but if I am going to kick this, I want to do it on my own.”

“Andy, that will be extremely difficult. Everyone needs support, especially when they’re vulnerable. You need to get back in AA. You need a support system.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Andy muttered under his breath. He knew she was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. He wanted to do things on his own. He was always independent, and he wanted for it to stay that way. But, he needed to figure something out. And quickly, because he was about to be back on the street, yet again. Andy had been on the street since he was fourteen, so it’s not like this was anything new. But now that he got used to his little apartment, and having a couch to sleep on, and a bathroom to use at any time, he didn’t want to leave. He was finally comfortable. Or as comfortable as he could ever get.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it. But I’ll be back tomorrow,” she warned.

Andy kicked the box that contained everything he owned once again. He looked through his belongings. A bunch of crap, he thought. A bong, a pipe, jeans, three t-shirts, five pairs of boxers, a pack of gum, and a calendar. He shook his head in disbelief. He flipped through the calendar, then he pulled out a joint from his pocket and lit it. It was September 4th. He hated September 4th.

He was now officially homeless. Not for the first time in his life, but this time felt especially hopeless and morally degrading. Before, he’d always have something to look forward to, some sort of hope of a better life. Even if it was as small as to get high again, see a cute girl, or hang out with a friend. Now, he had nothing left. No car, no place to live, no prospects. He had worn out the welcome of the few friends he had.

He left his place in the early hours of the morning, before detective Bryce had the time to come and escort him out. He didn’t want the embarrassment of that. He didn’t want her to see him be thrown out on the street.

He sat on a bus bench, trying to figure out his next move. Sell weed and coke? He could go to prison. At the same time, at least in prison he’d have three meals and a bed. He could try to get a job, but who would hire him? He hadn’t even finished high school. He was without prospects. He had nobody to call. The thought of calling Jack crossed his mind. Jack was a distant memory now, but a good one. Andy had few rare memories from this time in his life, but that man was one of them. But he didn’t even have his number. And why would Jack try to help him? He was a complete stranger by now, not even related by blood.

Andy felt the emptiness inside his stomach settle. This was his lowest low. His rock bottom. There was nothing to live for anymore, and no hope of things ever getting any better. He was convinced that things would always be this way. That he would never crawl out of this fog. He was damaged for life and he had to accept it. He was a burden, even to himself. He had to relieve the burden.

There was no starting over. There was nothing left to do but get high and hopefully never wake up again, and he knew just the place to do it at.