In Our Darkness - 20. Chapter 20: Frank's Discovery

Frank loved his wife. Maybe not with a wild and passionate movie romance type of love, but with a stable and committed kind. He knew she was peculiar, a bit standoffish, but he loved her nonetheless. She was a good nurturer. She was a great cook. And she would make a good mother one day. He always pined for a life of stability, having had to go through his parents divorce when he was young. He wanted the opposite in his own life. A calm and peaceful marriage. And she provided him with that. The two of them never fought about anything, besides IVF. And those weren’t really fights, just tense disagreements.

He loved that about her, that she was a rational woman. Sure, his best friend’s wife Elisabeth was gorgeous to look at, but Frank couldn’t imagine being married to her. He would have found it unnecessarily stressful. All her different high-heels and makeup products and clothes and the spontaneity she exuded in her day-to-day life, it wasn’t for Frank. He liked that Celia was low-key, he liked that she was a bargain shopper, he liked that she only had two pairs of high heels. She made their life simple and secure.

He still wasn’t sure how he lucked out with Celia. She was definitely the better looking one out of the two of them. But somehow when Elisabeth had introduced them, she took a liking to him. Not immediately, he could tell she was somewhat disappointed when she first met him. But slowly he grew on her. And eventually she agreed to move in with him.

And now they were about to celebrate yet another wonderful wedding anniversary, and he wanted to make something special for her. Forget the Tiffany necklaces, he wanted to give her something heartfelt, something unique. And a big part of him hoped that if she was moved enough by his thoughtfulness, she might consider his latest idea: adoption.

So he knew just what to make her: a scrapbook. Sure, it was a corny idea. But his wife collected every single piece of mail she received from friends or relatives. She held on to every single birthday card, love letter, and thank you note. So he knew she would appreciate a well put together scrapbook of sentimental notes and pictures. He pulled out her letter chest from under their bed, and started browsing through the endless array of envelopes and papers when his eye landed on a plain white envelope. He opened it and read the letter. He was confused. He read the letter again. And again. And again. And again. No, it didn’t make any sense. It couldn’t be. His breathing quickened and his heart accelerated. He felt the walls closing in on him. None of this made any sense.

***

Celia had very rarely experienced her husband being upset with her. Sure, he would be annoyed with her at times, but he was never truly angry. She thought to herself that he wasn’t man enough to ever be angry. He was too much of a people pleaser, too much of a sissy. She tried provoking him at times, but it always resulted in him just yielding to her wishes and being quiet, like a dog that’s been kicked a few too many times. It wasn’t fun, so she stopped trying.

But as he called out her name from their bedroom, she heard a note of something she’d never heard in his voice before: anger. At first, she was thrilled. What could have provoked him? Maybe it was the business card she got at the bar from a greasy looking and touchy-feely lawyer when she was out having drinks with a girlfriend the other day. Perhaps she left it out and it made Frank think she was cheating? She made her way into the bedroom, going through all the different exciting scenarios in her mind. She imaged the delicious argument they were about to get into. It would be attractive to see Frank get jealous. It would be exciting to see him man-up and assert himself.

However, when she walked in and saw the letter in his hand, all her fantasies dissipated.

“What did you do?” Frank asked her, staring at the letter in horror. Celia stood there, speechless. She wasn’t sure exactly how he had found it. He mentioned wanting to make a scrapbook for her, since he knew she enjoyed collecting postcards and anniversary/birthday/holiday cards she received. They had a wedding anniversary coming up, so he was probably trying to create something sentimental for her. Still, he should have asked before opening her letter chest. She felt a sense of fear course through her, this might be bad. This might be really bad.

“What the fuck did you do!?” he shouted. “Jesus, Celia,” he shook his head.

“I…I didn’t have the heart to tell them,” she replied.

“What do you mean you didn’t have the heart? This person is a witness to their accident, why didn’t you give this letter to them? Why didn’t you take it to the police? Why didn’t you tell me? This letter is from four years ago! For God’s sake, how could you have held onto it for so long without telling anyone?”

“I didn’t know what to say. They had both moved on, I just didn’t want to disrupt their lives with this stuff again. It’s all so sad. What’s the point?”

“Moved on? MOVED ON!? David is a full blown alcoholic who has destroyed his marriage, his career, and all his friendships. And Elisabeth is a shell of her former self, she has never forgotten what happened. Didn’t you think they’d want to see the person who caused the accident punished for what they did?”

“I…I don’t know. I just, I don’t think they should know Frank. I think they’ve suffered enough.”

“That’s not for you to decide,” he replied and pulled out his cellphone.

“Who are you calling,” she asked, but he ignored her.

“Fuck,” he muttered as whomever he called wasn’t picking up. He dialed again.

“Elisabeth,” he said and Celia felt herself shrinking like a deflated balloon. “No, please no,” she begged him, but his face was harsh. She ran out of the room, but he ran after her. He caught up to her in the living room, grabbed her arm harshly and forcefully sat her down on the couch.

“Look, I’m sorry to spring this on you. I tried calling David but he’s not answering. I need to tell you something, and it’s VERY important. Is there any way you could come over here now?… Yes, it’s extremely important…Okay, see you here.”

Celia looked at him with nothing in her eyes. Her fear was gone all of a sudden. She didn’t realize just how tired of pretending she really was. But now, everything was out on the table. They sat in silence until the doorbell rang.

Elisabeth walked in looking just like her old self, but a little sadder. She was wearing skinny black jeans, a grey V-neck t-shirt and a nicely fitted jacket. Her hair was once again a cascade of beautiful loose waves. Celia couldn’t understand how a woman could just move on after her child was so brutally taken away from her. How did Elisabeth just go back to being Elisabeth, with no extra wrinkles? It all deeply infuriated her.

All of a sudden, she felt a note of joy when she realized that Elisabeth wasn’t going to look so good once she found out about the letter. Once she knew that the answer to all of this had been at her fingertips for all this time. If only she’d been nicer to Celia, if only she’d been kinder, if only she wasn’t a man stealing whore.

Frank looked embarrassed and ashamed as he handed her the letter, and Celia couldn’t understand why. Why did he have to cower to Elisabeth just because she was beautiful.

“I don’t know how to say this Liz, so I’m just going to give you this. I found it in Celia’s possession just now. It’s dated four years ago. I’m so very sorry.”

Elisabeth accepted the tattered old envelope containing the latter with apprehension. She looked at the envelope, who it was addressed to, then she looked at Celia.

“Celia, what’s happening?” she asked confused, but the blonde woman just sneered back at her. Elisabeth had never seen her face adorned with such a hateful expression.

Elisabeth could never explain to herself or to David exactly why she was still friends with Celia. There was a moment in time when the two of them were close, where she felt a great degree of affection for the woman. That moment had long passed. She still cared for Celia, but the two of them had drifted apart, and not just a few feet apart, no; oceans apart.

With age Celia became more peculiar and…twisty. It was something Elisabeth couldn’t explain, but she was oddly evasive, antisocial at times, and Elisabeth swore that in certain instances she could see a glint of pure hate in her eyes. But she chalked it up to the unfortunate way she met David before she knew that he was Celia’s crush. However, Celia must have gotten over it by now.

And Elisabeth rarely felt pleasure from hanging out with her. But she couldn’t see herself breaking up a friendship when Celia had been intimately involved in her life for so many years. They were together graduating from high school, then college, then in each other’s wedding pictures. It would be like cutting away a piece of herself. She didn’t have it in her to end things, when there was no real good reason. Yes, her friend could be a bit of a stick in the mud at times, but she was still a good friend overall. Always helpful, always on hand to be the responsible one and point out to Elisabeth how careless she was.

She opened the letter and started reading. Each word felt like a knife stab in her gut. Celia observed as Elisabeth’s eyes involuntarily filled with moisture. She enjoyed it. She enjoyed the sadness.

“How long have you had this?” Elisabeth asked her.

“Years,” Celia replied smiling. Elisabeth couldn’t comprehend.

“Why?” she muttered.

“I don’t know Elisabeth, why do you do the things you do?”

“Celia…you knew what this would mean to me. Why would you withhold this from me?”

“Oh, don’t play the victim. You were never a victim, Elisabeth. I was the victim!” she yelled and Frank put his head in his hands, unable to grasp what was going on.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” he said.

“Sorry!? Why are you sorry, Frank? She’s been taking from me my whole entire life. Taking, taking and taking. So what, I took one thing from her. Now she knows how it feels.”

“What are you talking about?” Elisabeth replied, truly baffled.

“Everything! You took everything! All my toys had to be your toys, all my friends had to become your best friends, my own mother even liked you more than me! But I was fine with all of it, because I loved you, because you were my friend, I was fine with being on the back burner, I was fine with sharing. But then you had to go and take David too. And that, I just couldn’t forgive.”

Frank furrowed his brows as he heard the impossible words come out of his wife’s mouth. Now he was even more confused than Elisabeth.

“You took David and you gave me his best friend as scraps, and your old house as a sad consolation prize. That was your shitty apology. I couldn’t get over it. No, never.”

“I didn’t ‘take’ David. We fell in love, Celia. He wasn’t some product you had dibs on. We met, and we fell in love. I’m sorry that he turned out to be some boy you had a crush on, but it would have never worked out between you two regardless of me being there, don’t you understand?”

“How dare you,” Celia replied now getting animated as she got up from the couch. “You don’t know what would have happened if your greedy, perfectly manicured, perfectly styled bitch of a face hadn’t clouded his judgement.”

Elisabeth shook her head, and something sparked in her eyes, something like pity, which infuriated Celia even more.

“Your baby dying was karma for all that you’ve put me through,” she said, delivering the final blow. Elisabeth stood there, reeling from shock. Her own best friend. She always knew Celia was a little kooky, a little manic, her and David used to laugh about her idiosyncrasies. And she did feel bad when she found out David was the boy Celia had a crush on. But by then it was too late, Elisabeth couldn’t help that she fell in love with him. She didn’t think it was this serious. She knew Celia could hold a grudge, but she never expected something like this.

Elisabeth turned to Frank, “I’m taking this to the police. I’m really sorry Frank, I didn’t know…I should have never gotten you involved with her.”

Frank just nodded his head. He stood there like a statue.

“Go, and good luck.”

Celia stood in front of him. She looked positively insane. Frank had never before felt the type cold chill that came over him as he heard his wife speak in that manner. The cold chill that spread down through his spine and bones. A cold chill of fury.

“Listen, we’ll be fine. We’ll do the stupid IVF, like you wanted, ok? We’ll have a baby. Alright? Everything will be alright.” She was speaking in a calm tone now. Like he didn’t hear anything that she had said before. Like she was the same wife he thought he had.

He raised his arm and slapped her so hard that she fell to the floor. His hand stung with a million little prick points, but he was deadly calm. She cried out from the floor, but he didn’t hear. He walked upstairs, packed a travel bag with his essentials and walked out of the house.