Sky's The Limit - 12. Chapter 12

Dad and I got home about mid afternoon that next day. I carried my bags in and plopped on the bed. I was just laying there for a while, staring at the ceiling, remembering the last couple of days and all the intense feelings I had about Sky.

Bang, Bang, Bang.

“Just knock on it, don’t knock it down, asshole.”

Dex walks in grinning. “Saw y’all pull in. How was the trip?”

“K” I said.

“Since when do you go with your dad on a business trip to a hick town like Jackson, Mississippi?”

“Actually it was a pretty nice place. Good restaurants, great food” I said.

“Ah, Grasshoppa is now galloping gourmet” he said in mock Chinese.

“Asshole” I snorted.

“Prick” he shot back.

“Seriously, Jonah, what’s the deal? You coulda stayed wid ya homey next door ya know.”

“Nah, remember I told ya bout this guy I met at Gulf Shores?”

“Yah, so?”

“He lives there and had invited me to visit, so I went. His dad and mine are in some kind of business together now.”

“What, like y’all stayed at his house or something?”

“Nah, we stayed in a hotel. He lives with his mom. His folks divorced. He just showed me around and stuff.”

“That’s cool I guess. What’s with all the clothes” he asked, looking at all the bags on the bed and floor.

“Dad wanted me to get some new clothes for school. He wasn’t going to have time take me to the mall in Birmingham.”

“You went shopping? Without even having to be drugged and dragged? You hate shopping for clothes.”

“Yeah, well maybe I decided one of us needed to look good when we start real high school.” I kinda had him there. The ninth grade at our school was actually separate from the regular high school. He dressed a lot like I did. A t-shirt and well-worn jeans was about as fashion conscious as he got.

“Yeah, well maybe I’ll just get those queer guys on TV to do me a makeover” he chuckled. “I gotta piss.” He headed for the door to my bathroom, right by the bed.

While he was in the bathroom, I heard Lori call from downstairs.

“Jonah?”

“Up here” I called.

She must have run up the stairs because in just a few seconds she was standing in my door. Before I could say anything she just blurted out “OK spill it! I want every detail of your date with the boyfriend!”

At that precise moment, Dex emerged from the bathroom. He looked over at Lori, who looked like that proverbial deer that was caught in the headlights. He then looked over at me, and I was probably turning blue because I couldn’t breathe. “Something you need to tell me here, Jon?”

“Jonah, I didn’t know...” Lori started to say.

I didn’t give her a chance to finish as I bolted out of the room, pushing her out of the way and running downstairs and out the door. I had no clue where I was going, but I had to get out of there. I ran to a park near our house, and down a trail going into a wooded area. When we were kids we would walk down there and play all sorts of games. We even built a fort. It had long since kind of fallen apart, but we would still go back there from time to time.

I ran past the fort to a small pond, sat, curled into a ball and just cried. What is it with me and crying lately? I never cried. Dad forbade it. Men don’t cry. I can’t help it, dammit. I just lost my best friend. He knows. Dammit!

“Stand up!” an angry voice behind me said forcefully. I ignored it.

“Stand up goddammit!” the voice repeated more forcefully. Dex and I both cursed a bit, but in the eleven or so years I had known him I had never, ever, heard the GD. His mom woulda knocked him into the next county if she’d heard it.

I slowly stood up and faced him. He took one stepped towards me and . . . pow. I felt a sharp sting on my left cheek as I fell backwards. He freakin decked me.

“What the hell was that for?”

“I thought I was your fucking friend!” he screamed.

“You are . . . or you were.”

“Friends fucking trust each other you damn idiot. Get up!”

“Not if you’re going to hit me again.”

“Come on asshole” He said as he extended his hand to me.

I stood and we just stared at each other. There was still anger in his eyes. I had never seen Dex truly angry. I mean he would get pissed at his sister or something, but he would be over it in like two minutes and then it was back to normal. He was the most laid back guy I ever met. This was a different Dex - a very angry Dex. He must truly hate me now. We just stared like that for what seemed like an eternity.

“Well, when the hell were you gonna to tell me?!”

“I was gonna to tell you Dex. I didn’t know how.”

“You knew how to tell Lori.”

“That was different. She thought I had a crush on her and I had to tell her the truth to keep from hurting her.”

“Oh.” He said in a more subdued tone as the anger started to fade. “You shithead! What the fuck were you thinking? What the hell did ya think I would do?” he asked.

My lame brain finally clicked in gear. “Wait a minute. You’re mad ‘cause I didn’t tell ya? Not because I’m . . . gay?”

“Damn right!” The anger returned to his voice.

“I honestly thought you would hate me because I was gay.”

“For a smart, nerdy kind of guy you sure are dumb.”

“I’m sorry Dex, I don’t understand.”

“Look you stupid prick, you’re the closest thing to a brother I ever had. You’re family, man. I don’t turn on family -- not over which way your damn dick swings. I don’t hafta like your choice of dates, but I love ya like a brother.”

“Dex, I didn’t intend for you to find out like this.” I said meekly.

“Well, dammit that’s what pisses me off. How did you intend for me to find out? What made you think I couldn’t handle it? I don’t get you.”

“I just didn’t think you would be so cool with it. I mean we’ve always kidded around about that being queer, or raggin’ about fags, and everything.”

“Jonah, think about it for a second. What does my dad do?”

“He’s the psychologist for the school system.”

“What does my mom do?”

“She’s a nurse.”

“Do you have any idea what it was like for me when we had ‘the talk’ at my house?”

“Well, Dex, I can honestly say it’s something I never thought about.”

“I’ll tell you what it was like. Mom handled the biology part about how a dick works, what a vagina is, where babies come from and everything - complete with pictures from her anatomy books. Then, dad takes over the psychological part, going into great detail how some kids question their sexuality, and how some people naturally prefer people of the same sex because they’re brains are just naturally wired that way, and if I was like that they would understand.”

“I fucked up, huh?”

“So, when didja figure it out?”

“That I fucked up, or that I was gay?” I asked smiling for the first time in this whole shitty conversation.

He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips at that remark, “That you were gay, shithead.”

“Before mom got sick. She was just too sick to make her worry about me. Now I wish I had. I still can’t ever tell Dad.”

“Yeah, I can get ya not wantin’ your dad to know. I could get my dad to talk to him, maybe.”

“I really don’t think it would help. Remember him and your dad getting into it that time when Dad made that ‘psychobabble’ remark?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, they didn’t talk for a couple of weeks over that one.”

We sat back down on the bank by the pond and just stared out over the water for a while.

“So, ya really like this dude?”

“Yeah, I do Dex. I don’t expect you to understand. I love him. It’s different from how I feel about you or Lori or anyone I’ve ever met or known. I’ve never ever had feelings like this.”

“Umm, have you guys like, uh, you know, done it?” He looked at me from the corner of his eye.

“Do ya really wanna know?”

“Not if you don’t wanna tell.”

There was a long pause and I took a deep breath. “Yeah, we have.”

“Damn.”