Sky's The Limit - 26. Chapter 26

"Jonah, Mom's family, her Dad, was quite well off. Grandpa Tucker didn't want to just leave all his money and property to his kids, but the law in Tennessee and most places as I understand it, will usually only let a person skip one generation, to make a long story short, he left it to his grandchildren, us, in a trust. We can't touch any part of it till we finish college or reach the age of twenty-five."

"Well, that explains why Mom and Dad let you do this modeling thing till you're twenty-five."

"That's right Jonah, and I've loved every minute of it. But I still plan on going to college. I need a degree. But I can go to college and live off the trust without having to work unless I just want to."

"What about me?"

"Well your case is a little different. Mom had her own inheritance as did Uncle Chip, but Uncle Chip and Mom were named co-trustees of the trust. That means their job was to manage the assets of the trust. They got paid based on how much money the trust earned - the same way banks do, but their percentage was more than banks are usually paid. Uncle Chip used his to support himself and Uncle Billy, and make his own investments. He's quite well off. Mom put almost all of hers in a trust of her own for you and me to use for college and whatever else we need after we turn eighteen. I haven't needed to use mine yet because I make enough modeling to live comfortably. Dad and Uncle Chip have helped me invest it. You can use yours, when you're eighteen, to go to college anywhere you want."

"Wow, I never knew."

"There was no reason for you to know until now."

"So what now? I just go and live with Uncle Chip in Memphis?"

"That's pretty much it."

"Dad's okay with that?"

"Not really, he just doesn't have much of an alternative right now, and neither do you. We've been fighting about it ever since I showed him the letter. He's resisting, but he knows it's the only way for now."

"I don't even know Uncle Chip. I've only seen him a few times. I've never even seen Uncle Billy. Why would they want me? They don't even know me. Why didn't they ever come see us.?"

"Jonah, there was a falling out between Billy and Dad years ago. Uncle Chip is very protective of Billy. Billy has lived with Uncle Chip since he was about your age. Uncle Chip doesn't like to go anywhere Billy isn't welcome, but it has nothing to do with you. Uncle Chip does know a lot about you and does love you. You just have to believe me. He's in Birmingham now and has been checking on you every day since I called him."

"What did Dad and Uncle Billy fight about?"

"They will have to tell you that, but I doubt Dad will discuss it. It's just not my place to talk about that. I made a promise and I won't break it. When and if they tell you, you'll understand."

Sarah and I talked for at least another hour. She told me things about Mom I never really knew and a lot about what she knew about Uncle Chip and Billy. I can't say that the idea of moving to a larger city and away from that town I always hated didn't have its appeal, but leaving the only family I've ever known, all the friends I had left, especially Dex and Lori, was going to be tough. I was torn. But with all that had happened, I mean, my God, Zach was dead. I'm still numb. I know it'll hit just like Mom's death finally hit me. Where was Sky? How would I find him? How would he find me? I fell asleep while we were talking.

Later that morning, a nurse came in to remove the catheter. At least it was a male nurse. He was kind of cute, too, which caused an embarrassing moment once he was done. He just smiled at me. I don't think I'd had even had a hint of an erection since Sky and I were, well, caught. I really had been just so depressed I hadn't even thought about it. I think they were giving me some drugs or something that were altering my moods. I couldn't concentrate on anything for very long. It was like I was just reacting to things going on around me at that particular moment. I really wasn't feeling anything. I wasn't really sad, but I had absolutely nothing to be happy about either. For once in my life my emotions seemed to be gone.

Dad came back in around noon to give Sarah some relief. They went outside the room to talk for a few minutes and shortly, Dad came back. "Sarah tells me you felt like talking this morning."

"Yes sir."

"Jonah, I know the past week has been tough. Do you feel like talking about it?"

"I s'pose." I sighed. I mean, where am I gonna go? He's got a captive audience.

"Jonah, this thing with you and Skyler. I . . . It was just a shock, that's all. I was taught all my life that this is an unforgivable sin. When I joined the military it was an automatic dishonorable discharge. I still haven't been convinced that it's anything more than a choice. A poor choice. Fred McGee has given me a lot of material arguing that it is indeed biological, and I hafta admit that some of it is very persuasive. I still don't know how to deal with it. I need time Jonah."

"Yes sir." Did I just detect a chink in the armor? Doc McGee, I love you.

"I have another problem. Jessie. She wants you nowhere near her kids. Especially Jason, she ..."

"Dad, I know what she thinks. She's nuts. It's not contagious and I'm not a pervert. I don't go around molesting kids."

"I know that Jonah. It's just she has very strong opinions and attitudes. I don't know how to deal with that either. I'm trying to get Fred to speak with her too, but she seems very close-minded on the issue."

"That's one thing that's not my fault."

"I never said it was Jonah. But it still presents a problem with what to do about you - about how we're going to live together as a family. There's more to this, a lot more."

"I already know. Sarah and I have discussed it. Tell Jessie not to worry. The little faggot's goin' to go away and not make any trouble for her precious little kiddies."

"Jonah, I . . ."

"Don't, Dad. Don't tell me how sorry you are. I just don't wanna hear it right now. I'm dealing with a lot of shit. I just found out I killed a good friend, my best friend in the whole world is still unconscious in intensive care, I lost a guy I love with all my heart, and now I've lost my home and I have no one to blame for any of it but me. I really just don't want to hear it."

"Jonah, no, there is more. Jessie's pregnant"

"Damn Dad, when were you going to tell me."

"I just found out the night before Jessie left to see her ex-in laws. Then, when she got back all this happened. I haven't even told Sarah yet. But you see the problem. I wasn't prepared for all this Jonah. We've got one hell of a problem."

"No, you don't have a problem. I've decided I'm leaving. I mean if Uncle Chip really is willing to do this ... Just please, leave. I can't talk about it any more. My head is really hurting again. Just leave." I said as I started pushing my pain button. I hope the drugs will let me escape into sleep before I start crying in front of him. Please. More drugs. Anything, make this pain go away. Make all these thoughts go away. My head is going to explode. I saw Dad drop his head and turn to leave. The expression I saw was something I had never seen in him. It wasn't sad, it wasn't anger. It was surrender. That's it. He had given up. He fucking NEVER gives up. I won one. Finally, I won an argument with Dad. I got the freakin' last word. Wait a minute, what did I win?

It was just a few minutes before Dr. Wilkins came back in. "Jonah, I just spoke to your Dad. He said your headaches were back."

"Yeah, we were talking about . . . things, and suddenly it felt like my head would explode."

"Jonah, what were you talking about?"

"About everything, I mean, before this accident happened there was a lot goin' on. I mean, oh what the hell. Dad found out I was gay. I got caught in bed with my boyfriend. That's what the guy who hit us . . I mean that's what all this is about. That's the reason Zach is dead and Dex, my best friend in the world, is still in intensive care. I lost my boyfriend, and now I find out I can't go back home because my step mom is pregnant and she's some kinda homophobe and thinks I'll molest her precious little boy who's bigger than I am. Shit, my head."

"Wow, Jonah, that's a bunch of stuff to deal with alright. I'm going to give you something to help calm you, but it's not a cure. You need some counseling and I'm going to order it. Did you have counseling after your Mom passed away?"

"No sir, I mean Doc McGee talked to me some..."

"Jonah, I'm going to order counseling. I can't make you do it. There are a number of psychiatrists and psychologists here at the hospital as well as chaplains. Selecting someone that you can communicate with can be a highly personal thing. I'm also hoping we can discharge you soon, so long term counseling with someone here may be impractical. What I'm saying is that you need some help Jonah, whether it's here or when you go home. Being a teenager is tough enough, but a gay teen who's lost his mom, lost his boyfriend, traumatically outed, and now your friend that was killed, and the accident itself is an overwhelming load in anybody's book. Your body's been through a serious trauma Jonah. You almost died. In fact I understand that in the ambulance for a minute or two you were dead. Your mind is going through all this loss. It just hasn't all hit you yet. It will. You need to be prepared to cope with it."

"Let me think about it. I'm talking with my sister. Doc McGee is a psychologist. I know there's a lot locked up in my head. I'm still sorting through it. Can I get outta this bed?"

"Well, I don't see why not after the surgeon has removed that drain tube in your side. That should happen sometime today. After that, you should be able to sit in a wheelchair for a few minutes at a time. I'll set that up for you."

"Thanks"

After he left, a nurse came in and gave me a couple of pills and put something in my IV. I went back to sleep. I was sort of half-sleeping when I heard voices. It was Sarah, and that same voice from before that was familiar, but I couldn't recognize. I opened my eyes and there was Sarah talking to Uncle Chip.

"Hi" I said.

"Hey kiddo" Sarah said smiling at me.

"Hello Jonah" Uncle Chip said. "It's been a long time. You're Mom's funeral I believe."

"Yes sir."

"Where's Dad?" Sarah asked.

"I .... He had to leave." I said. Sarah looked at me strangely, then just frowned and shook her head.

I looked over at Uncle Chip. He was a nice-looking man, with short, very neatly trimmed dark hair. He also had dark eyes that were a bit like Sarah's and the small frame I shared with Mom, and he was slim and fit. Every time I had seen him, he was impeccably dressed in expensive-looking suits and always a perfect manicure. Today, though, he was casually dressed in a pair of khakis and polo shirt.

"Jonah, I'm here to talk to you. I know there's a problem at home, and well, Jonah, I want ... No, Billy and I want you to come live with us, as long as you want. No conditions, no questions asked, I want to give you a home. Your mom and I discussed this possibility when she knew she wasn't going to be here for you. I know Billy and I haven't been around much and when Billy's ready, we'll tell you all about that. I just want you to know it wasn't because of you or Sarah. We always wanted to be with you guys more I hope you'll let us make it up to you. Oh, and drop this Uncle Chip thing. It's just Chip."

"Thanks. Uncle Chip, I . . .I mean Chip . . . I guess I don't know what to say but thanks. I mean, I don't have much of a choice. I'm not welcome at home anymore. I would love to stay with Sarah, but she's gone more than she's home. I.... I don't have anywhere else ..." It was then I lost it. Totally lost it. I started to sob. The reality that I may never go home again hit me like a ton of bricks. I wouldn't have Dex and Lori by my side. I would have to go to a new school. All these thoughts flooded my brain, but still, my overwhelming loss, that loomed over all of this was Sky. I needed to hold him, to just touch his face, or his hair.

Sarah came over to me and bent down and took me in her arms. I hugged her and just sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for all this. I don't have any right to cry. It's all my fault."

"Jonah, you've got to stop blaming yourself. You have every right to cry. God knows you've been through enough. I don't know how you've held up as well as you have."

"Jonah," I heard Chip say, "as soon as we get you to Memphis, we're going to find you the very best help we can to help you cope with everything. Don't you dare tell your Dad, but I've had a long talk with Sarah. I'm going to do everything I can to help you find that young man of yours. He didn't just fall off the planet. We'll find him."

"Why would you do that?" I asked wiping my eyes.

"Why wouldn't I? I told you Jonah, I'm here to help you."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, Jonah. Just accept the help when you need it. No man is an island."

"Yeah, I know. Another good friend has already explained that to me."

* * *

By the next day the doctors had removed the tube and I got to sit in a chair for the first time, and could actually go to the bathroom instead of that nasty bedpan. The damn cast was a nuisance and I had to keep the leg elevated, but it was an improvement.

Dad came by that morning but he was still very distant. I think he just didn't know what to say to me anymore. I don't guess there was much else to say. He and Sarah spoke quite a bit. There was still no news on Dex but I wanted to go visit him, even if he wasn't conscious yet. They got me into a wheelchair and off we went.

When we got to the intensive care waiting room, Ms. McGee jumped up and ran over to me. She bent down and started hugging the stuffing out of me. My ribs were still sore, and I jumped when she squeezed me.

"I'm sorry, Jonah. I know better than that. I bet you are sore. I'm just sooo glad to see you up."

"Thanks, I'm glad to be up."

"How's Dexter, Jean?" Dad asked.

"They've completely removed the respirator yesterday afternoon. His vital signs are stronger and he's holding his own. They're still hoping he'll wake up on his own just anytime."

"What about the other?" Dad said

"Wait, what other? What don't I know?"

"Jonah," Ms. McGee started, "He has a spinal cord injury, it's kind of unusual, they call it SCIWORA. As I understand it there's no broken vertebrae, but some sort of damage to the spinal cord in his neck, like a contusion or something that they could see on the MRI. They don't know if he'll be able to walk or not, or have the complete use of his arms and hands. We won't know ‘til he's awake and they can do some more tests."

"Oh my God! How can this get any worse?" I started to cry again. I couldn't help it.

"Jonah, Dex is alive and we will be fine. I want you to go back with me on the next visit. I need you happy for him. We'll go in about five or ten minutes." I composed myself and when it was time, she wheeled my chair next to the bed. She wanted me to talk to him, to see if maybe he would wake up.

"Ms McGee, if you want me to talk to him like when we're together, you better plug your ears."

She laughed. "Jonah, I've heard many of your conversations you didn't know I could hear."

"Oh God," I chuckled.

"Dex! You jerk, wake up! I'm here. It's no fun watchin' you sleep all day man. C'mon, time for you to terrorize some women bud." I grabbed his hand. "C'mon dammit, yer pissin' me off. I mean it. Wake your sorry ass up!"

"Grasshoppa?" came the whisper.

"Oh my God! Yes! Dex! Pleeeezzze wake up! Pleeeezze!"

"Mom?"

"I'm here Dexter. Jonah's with me. Wake up honey, please wake up."

"Get some ice," I said.

She put a spoonful of ice chips to his lips and he opened his mouth. "Just let them melt, Dexter."

About that time a nurse and someone I assumed was his doctor came in and started checking him out. It was really getting crowded in the small room and I decided to ease on back out.

"Dex, I'll be back. Wake up buddy. We seriously need to talk."

Someone pushed me back into the waiting room and Lori was just walking in with her mom. She saw me and came running over. I threw my hands up in self-defense.

"Hug gently, still sore."

She just put her hands on either side of my head and kissed me right on the lips and then just started kissing all over my face.

"Okay, okay, you tryin' to make a straight guy outta me or something?"

"If I thought it'd work, I woulda' started a looong time ago." She said smiling at me. "How ya' doin?"

"Better now. I've got you here, and I just saw Dex. He's starting to wake up. He spoke to me."