Sky's The Limit - 25. Chapter 25

I was somewhere else for a while. I remember flashes of light then darkness. I remember thinking I heard my Mom's voice. I couldn't tell where it was coming from, like it was all around me. I couldn't make out all of what she was saying, but I heard her say my name and Sarah and Chip. It was a comforting tone like when I was a kid and had scraped a knee or elbow, or when bigger kids had been picking on me. But why was she talking about Uncle Chip?

I heard music. What is that? I know that. It's one of my Elton John albums. I must be at home, I ought to wake up, I really should. My head really hurts, I need to sleep some more. I still hear music. Now it's Billy Joel, my favorite, the original Piano Man album. Someone must've left my CD player on. Why can't I wake up? Why does my head hurt? What the hell is that smell? I think I'll sleep some more. Damn, the CD player's still on. What is that? Tourniquet? Evanescence? I haven't played that since that day. Sky!! Sky must be here. I gotta wake up. I gotta wake up.

I try to speak. There's something in my mouth. No, it's down my throat. I can't swallow. I think I'm moaning, or trying to. I open my eyes. Why the hell is someone shining a damn flashlight in my eyes? I move my head. Damn that hurt. Suddenly, I'm gagging. What the hell was that. Damn my throat hurts. I can't hear the music anymore. I'm still so tired. I've gotta sleep some more.

There it is again, music. Now it's classical. Wait a minute, I know that. Mozart, yeah, Mozart, Piano Concerto No. 24, tough piece, lots of minor chords and key changes. Want to wake up. No, still tired. The music has changed again. I'm sure it's Beethoven, but I don't know this one. I hear voices, is that Sarah? She's not due for days. That's Dad's voice. They're arguing about something. I hear my name. They're talking about me. I heard another voice. I don't know that voice, but I've heard it before. Maybe I can speak now. I want to see Sarah. I did it. I heard my voice. It was just a moan, but I did hear myself.

"Jonah? Jonah, answer me. Can you hear me?"

Yah, that's Sarah.

"Mmmph"

"Dad, he's coming around."

"Where?" I here myself barely squawk out.

"You're in a hospital sweetie, in Birmingham."

"Sarah?"

"Yes Jonah, Sarah. Open your eyes Jonah."

I tried to open them. Damn the light hurts. My head hurts. There's a pain in my left leg I just noticed too. "Too bright" I manage to squeak out.

"Open your eyes Jonah, please."

I open them again. It was Sarah. I look at her. She's beautiful as ever, but her makeup is runny. She's been crying. "Sarah? What? Why? Dad? Sky?"

Jonah, look at me. You were in a car crash. With Dexter. Do you remember?

No, no I don't. I can't think. I was in fight, yeah, I was in a fight with Doug.

"Jonah, wake up, it's Sarah. You were in a wreck in Dexter's jeep."

Car wreck? Yeah, I remember being chased by that red truck, Doug's truck. I remember them hitting us. That must be it. We wrecked and I'm in a hospital. "Dex, Zach, Okay?"

"Dex is here too, in another room. You're gonna be okay, Jonah."

"Zach?"

"We'll talk about them later Jonah. You were hurt pretty bad. You've got a broken leg, and they had to remove your spleen. You lost a lot of blood. You've had a really bad head injury and you've been out for a while."

"How long?" I whisper still not able to find a voice. My throat really hurts.

"Almost three days. It's Thursday afternoon. I've been here off and on since Tuesday evening."

Three days. I've been sleeping or whatever for three days? That can't be good. Broken leg? How the hell did I do that? What the hell is a spleen? I must not have needed it whatever it is. Maybe it's like an appendix or something.

"Jonah, open your mouth."

I open my mouth and she puts a spoonful of ice chips in there. Oh God that feels better. "Don't swallow them, Jonah. Just let them melt."

After the ice had melted, my throat felt better. I could swallow with less pain. "Dad?"

"He's here Jonah. He's been here since they brought you in. He's never left. He went to find your doctor."

"Sky?"

"I don't know, Jonah. His mom sent him off to some kind of counseling center somewhere last weekend. That's all I know, I'm sorry."

About then I hear a door open and Dad's voice. "Jonah, you're awake. Good, you're doctor will be here in just a few minutes. Try and stay awake for us son.

"Music?"

"I found your Ipod in your room. I went and bought one of those player stands and I've just been letting it play." Sara said. "You've got a very cool but eclectic variety of music in there. I finally heard the rest of that Marc Broussard album."

A guy in scrubs walked in and comes over to my bed. "Jonah, I'm Doctor Wilkins, I'm one of your doctors here at the hospital. I just need to check you out, okay?"

I nod my head as he proceeded to shine a little light thing in my eyes, asked me to count his fingers, and then listened to my chest with a stethoscope. He wrote something on a chart, then asked me to grip his finger and squeeze. He pulled the sheets down and poked something in the bottom of my right foot "Ouch."

He pulled the sheet back up to my waist and pulled up the gown I was wearing. There was a large bandage on the left side of my torso, and a tube coming out of it. "Don't worry Jonah, it looks worse than it is. We had to remove your spleen, you lost a great deal of blood before they could pull you out of that jeep, but you'll be just fine. This tube may come out tomorrow morning, that's up to your surgeon. I then notice for the first time that I'm hooked up to all kind of monitors and have an IV in my left hand. "Are you in any pain, Jonah?"

"Headache."

"That's to be expected with a brain injury like you've had. You'll also have some pain in that leg when the current dose of pain medication begins to wear off. I'm going to order a pump so you can administer your own when you're in pain. Don't worry, you can't overdo it. It locks out to prevent that. Your leg was pretty bad. You had compound fractures in both bones of your lower left leg, but the breaks were pretty clean and should heal well. You've also got a couple of cracked ribs. I suspect at least one of those happened when they had to give you CPR in the ambulance. We almost lost you. Oh, and you're also wearing a catheter in your penis which we can remove as soon as you're ready to use the urinal or bedpan. Maybe later tonight if you stay awake for awhile."

"Any questions, Jonah?"

"My friends okay?"

"I'm not their doctor, but I'll see what I can find out for you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Oh, and one other thing. Your dad had us run some other tests he said you had scheduled with your family doctor last week. You'll be glad to know your negative for any STD's"

"STD's?"

"Sexually transmitted diseases. Your Dad said that you were going to be tested this week."

I looked over at Dad who was turning sort of red and looking at the floor. Sarah was glaring at him angrily.

"Thanks" I said as expressionlessly as I could manage. Dad walked outside with the doctor. I can hear muffled voices outside the door.

"Sarah? More ice."

She put another spoonful of ice in my mouth. I let it melt. That felt so much better. I could now swallow with little pain.

"Sarah, dad found out. About me and Sky. It's been horrible. You said you would help me. I can't go on like it was last week. I don't wanna go back there." I know there are tears in my eyes.

"Ssshhh, Jonah, I know all about it. I will help. I promise." She said as she took my right hand in hers and stroked my forehead.

"I dreamed I heard mom. She was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't make it out. It was something about you and me and Uncle Chip."

"Oh my God. Jonah, do you have any idea what it was she was saying?"

"No, but she was trying to comfort me. Make me feel better, like when I was a little kid and something was wrong. I remember hearing my name, your name and Uncle Chip. The next thing I remember is hearing some of the music."

"Jonah, we have a lot to discuss when you're a little stronger. Maybe tomorrow. Mom left me a letter of instructions about what she wanted if something happened to Dad, or to you. Dad and I've been talking, no - fighting about this. Jonah, I want you to know that I won't ever let anything bad happen to you."

About that time, Dad walked back in. Doc McGee was with him.

"Doc?"

"Hi Jonah, I'm so happy you're awake. We were really worried about you." He said smiling at me. He looked so tired and for the first time since I've known him, old.

"Dex here? Ms. McGee?"

"He's still in intensive care and hasn't come around yet. He also had a really bad head injury and they're keeping him unconscious until some of the swelling in his brain goes down. They may try to wake him tomorrow, and Jean is here too, but she's with Dexter. Can you tell us what happened?"

"There was a fight at school. Mr. Lee saw some of it. Doug Morris attacked me in the parking lot along with one of his friends. He had started with the faggot crap earlier that morning before school. I took out Doug, and Dex blocked the other guy. Mr. Lee came up after it was over. Dex, Zach, and I left, and went to the Sonic. Doug and his buddies showed up there in his truck. We didn't get out or anything, but just left. Right after we turned down the road that goes to our house, Zach saw them behind us. Dex tried to let them pass, they wouldn't. They bumped the back of the jeep. It's all kinda blurry, sorta like it was dream, but that's the last thing I remember ‘till I woke up here a few minutes ago. Where's Zach? I think remember Zach screaming."

"Son, I'm afraid I have some real bad news about your friend, Zach." Doc said taking my hand. I noticed Sara coming up to the other side of the bed and taking my other hand.

"What? No! What is it!?

"Jonah, I want you to get a grip on yourself." Doc said calmly. I started looking around the room. At some point Dr. Wilkins and a nurse had walked in .

"Jonah, this is going to be a shock. Zach didn't make it. He was thrown clear of the jeep, but his head hit a rock or tree, we just don't know. The truck that hit y'all left the scene. One of the boys in the truck called the sheriff's office and told almost the same story you just told us. It was almost half an hour before anyone even found you guys or the wreck. The jeep went down into a deep ditch or ravine and hit a tree. They almost lost you in the ambulance because it took them nearly an hour to get you out, and you had lost a lot of blood. You're very lucky to be alive. So is Dexter."

I just lay there a moment. It was the same way I felt when mom told me about her cancer. I felt like I had just been kicked in the gut. I couldn't breathe."

"NO!! YOU'RE WRONG. ZACH'S NOT DEAD. I JUST SAW HIM. HE WAS SITTING RIGHT BEHIND ME!!" I scream as loudly as my sore throat would let me. I was still struggling to breathe. My chest was hurting now.

"I'm so sorry Jonah," Sarah said squeezing my hand gently.

"NO NO NO NO NO ----- NOOOOOOOOOOOO........" I'm just wailing now.

The nurse put something in my IV. I continued to sob.

"Jonah. None of this is your fault." I hear Doc saying. "You didn't ask for this to happen."

"Didn't I?" I sob. "If it wasn't for the queer kid -ME, this wouldn't have happened." I notice about here that I'm feeling really lightheaded.

"Don't you dare blame yourself for this Jonah." Doc said "I know you better than that. You're smarter than that. What happened here was a crime, and you three kids are victims. It's a stupid, senseless crime committed by a stupid kid who was probably taught to hate since he could speak. Zach had been a victim of this sort of thing before, you know that."

"Yeah, and so have I, in Gulf Shores." I said now feeling much calmer and somehow uninhibited. Like I could say anything. I didn't care.

"What!?" I heard Dad say somewhere in the background. "Those guys in the alley with the knife that David heard about. That was you?"

"Yeah, we couldn't tell ya cause you'd figure out the two gays being attacked were me and Sky."

"Dammit Jonah, you coulda been killed."

"Isn't that why you paid for all those Karate' lessons?"

"NO! I mean yes. Hell, Jonah. Damn, ya know, I gotta give ya credit. You laid out two armed thugs single handed, and took out Doug, the biggest linebacker on the football team. Ya' got guts kid, I'll give ya that."

"Armed thugs!? Jonah, you didn't tell me about that." Sarah interjected.

"It wasn't a big deal. Only one had a knife. The whole thing lasted about thirty seconds."

"Yeah, and the two thugs wound up unconscious, with concussions and multiple broken bones as I recall." Dad huffed.

"Four D's, Colonel. Disarm, disable, dominate, and deter." I said firmly.

"Well, I'll be damned." Dad said.

"Well, Jim, looks like there's a lot more of you in Jonah than you knew." Doc said with a chuckle.

"I made a mistake with Doug. I showed mercy, weakness I shoulda finished it."

"Jonah, you know that's wrong and not what you were taught. If you'd done that, you could be the one looking at life in prison." Dad said.

"Yeah, maybe, but Zach would be alive and Dex would be okay. I'm tired. I think I need to sleep." My head was really spinning now. I heard the doctor say something about the medication and I would be out for a few hours.

I heard Dad talking to Doc McGee, "Fred, let's talk outside and let Jonah rest."

"Sarah, don't leave me."

"I won't Jonah, and I'll be here when you wake up. Jonah, you're an amazing kid."

"K, thanks."

* * *

When I woke the room was dark except for a couple of nightlights. I could see the window, and there was no light. The clock said three o'clock. "Sarah?"

"Here Jonah," as a light came on. She must have been awake. She was sitting in a high back chair with a pillow.

"Sarah, I think I can talk now, if you want. I think I need some pain stuff though. My leg hurts pretty bad. I hadn't felt it before. Not like this."

"Here, Jonah," she said handing me a remote of some sort with a single button and connected to a wire. "They hooked up your ‘pain pump'. Just push the button when you're in pain and it releases some medication into your IV. You're limited to one dose every few hours, but it's there when you need it."

"Thanks." I said asI clicked the button.

"Where's Dad?"

"He went home to get some rest and get a few things. He'll be back in the morning."

"Like he's really worried about his little faggot son."

"You misjudge him some Jonah. He still loves you, you're still his son. The gay thing goes against an entire lifetime of how he was raised and taught. It's going to take him time, a lot of time. He still may never accept it."

"No, Sis. You weren't there, you don't know. He locked me in that room with no contact with anyone. They even brought my meals to the bottom of the stairs and left them. No phone, computer, nothing. No contact with a living soul ‘til he dragged me to church to humiliate me in front of everyone I knew. That's not love."

"I'll admit he went too far. What did you expect?"

"I didn't intend for him to find out. Not like that. If that little shit had just knocked instead of barging in."

"And if you had locked your door . . ." she started to say.

"Sis, I know I screwed up. But that doesn't excuse . . "

"No, Jonah, it doesn't excuse his reaction. But you've got another problem. I'll bet you haven't seen or spoken to Jessie since this happened."

"No."

"And if that bitch has her way, you won't either. She's the worst homophobe I've ever met. I went to the house when I first got here to get a key that was in some of my stuff at the house. We had it out over you big time. She's not speaking to me either, and right now that suits me fine. I think if she said anything to me right now I'd simply just slap the pure shit out of her. Dad's caught in the middle of that. I don't think he's prepared to split with her, but they've been fighting about it. She really doesn't want you there. I think she's afraid you're going to molest her little angel."

"Oh, puleeeze" I moaned. "So, what's my choice? I go home and spend the rest of my life or until I turn eighteen locked up in that room? Alone?"

"No, Jonah, you do have a choice, but it's not going to be easy, not at first."

"What?"

"Maybe you should just read this. This is what was in my lockbox. It's from Mom."

Sarah,

If you're reading this, it means that something has happened to Jim, or something has happened and Jonah can no longer stay with him. Jonah is special, Sarah. He is so smart. Smarter than me or anyone I have known. He is also emotional, and sometimes has trouble hiding his feelings. He sometimes expresses that in his music. I love to hear him play, and sing. It always brightens my day, but it also tells me when he's hurting. He doesn't even know it, but he often reveals his feelings in his music. For some time, especially the last year, I have suspected that something is troubling him; that he's trying to hide a secret that he thinks his father could never accept. I've seen it before.

If either of these contingencies has occurred, it is up to you to carry out something that I have set up for Jonah. Contact Chip immediately and tell him that Jonah is in need of shelter. He knows what that means. It's our little code. He is prepared to take Jonah and raise him as his own. He was named testamentary guardian in my will should something happen to Jim, or, in the other case, my lawyer has the necessary guardianship papers already drafted that require only Jim's signature. His card is in the envelope, and he will speak with you about it.

Sarah, when you were eighteen, you were told about "The Trust". Jonah does not know. You should tell him now. I'm sorry to burden you with this, but I know you love your brother and have always tried to protect him. I beg your help this one last time.

I will always love you both.

Mom

I looked up at Sarah, and she was looking at me. We both had tears streaming down our cheeks.

"She knew, didn't she" I whispered.

"You never could fool her ya' know."

"Sarah, what's goin' to happen to me now? What's the trust?"