Paul and Adrian - 1. Chapter 1

“Tomorrow I’ll be 18, and then I can tell the world. I’ll be on my own. I’ll be my own master. Then after saying all that, I sat down on my bed; who was I kidding. There was no way that I’d be self-sufficient. I had no job, and I still was looking forward to going to college. I had a scholarship that paid 50 percent of my tuition. I had worked every summer and saved enough to pay for my books and dorm. I still needed to have the money to pay the other half of my school tuition. And the only resource I had for that was my family. So no, I couldn’t tell the world, and I couldn’t be on my own or be my own master, at least not till I graduated from college. Reality is very sobering.

I’m the youngest of three children; I have an older sister and brother. My sister has graduated from college and is a nurse at our local hospital and is still living at home, at least until she meets a doctor to marry. That’s her goal, and I think that’s why she became a nurse, yea shallow, but I never said she was a brain. My old brother is two years older than me and is in college studying to work in Dad’s business as an accountant. Me, I want to be a teacher.

“I had applied to a college that was noted for its teaching curriculum. The one drawback my parents saw, I saw it as an opportunity, was that I’d have to stay on campus. It was too far to travel every day.

Dinner time was always family time; it’s where we discussed anything and everything. My sister started by telling me about this new intern that started at the hospital. I could tell she had her eyes on him; she seemed to glow as she outlined his virtues. My brother wouldn’t be home until later something about a school project, but I knew he had a date and wasn’t going to be home till morning.

“Dad, I received a notice from the school. They are recommending that I start this summer. They said that I could get two of my classes out of the way, and since I’ll have credit for my AP courses, I would be classified as a sophomore instead of a freshman in the fall. But I’d have to stay at school since it’s too far to travel each day. I could come home on weekends, which will save a little.”

“Did they say what the costs would be for you to stay on campus during the summer?”

“No, they did say my scholarship would cover that half of the costs for the courses.”

“You know if you had gone out for sports, you could have gotten a full scholarship.”

That was a sore point for my dad. He was a jock, my brother was a jock, but I was the book worm. It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in sports. It just took too much time away from my studies. During my senior year, all of my courses were AP courses.

“Yes, Dad, but I could never achieve the grades I had by dividing my time playing sports. I was essentially carrying college-level classes. I needed to use that time to study.” It wasn’t that I thought sports were a waste of time. I just felt that a gay guy should stay away from the locker room. I didn’t just sit on my ass. I ran each morning for 5 miles. I thought my body was in good shape; anyway, the adrenaline you get from running was better than trying to punch a ball around or tackling a guy twice your size.

“Do you have enough money saved to cover the expenses for these summer courses?”

“Yes, but I’ll probably have to have a roommate, and if I watch what I eat, I think I can make it.”

“If you’re going to be starting as a sophomore, maybe there’s enough money in the scholarship to provide for a room. You’ll need to check that out.”

In some way, I felt cheated. My sister didn’t have to work to save for college. She worked to buy clothes and didn’t save hardly anything. Dad paid for it all, and he paid the other half of my brother’s scholarship. But I haven’t heard him offering to pay any of mine. I wasn’t very close to my dad, he was a macho man, and I certainly wasn’t that. My brother was and took after my dad in build and looks. Unfortunately for me, I took after my mother, slim build, deep blue eyes, black hair, and a clear complexion. I was very fortunate that I never had any zits or other skin conditions common “to teenagers. I think running helps, cause when you run, you sweat a lot and you have to shower as soon as you get back; otherwise, you really stink.