Dinner is Prompt-ly at Eight - 19. Chapter 19 The Senses of the Heart

Well written. Feelings of melancholy.

I know what Phillip feels like. My mother was the communication link that kept everyone up to date on family news. After she died, my father forgot to tell me his brother-in-law had died for several months. My brothers and their families have drifted away from me. Neither of my sisters-in-law are interested in hosting holiday gatherings with my younger brother pointing out that their house is too small for gatherings and my older brother's family just being unwilling.

My favorite Aunt & Uncle or my cousin (their daughter & son-in-law) have hosted all the family holidays for the last several years. When my mother was still capable of hosting, the holidays were traded between my mother and her younger sister so neither hosted both in one year and Thanksgiving & Christmas were rotated between the two houses. We did the rotation for about 20 years. I live in a studio apartment, so I won’t be hosting any gatherings here. By default, my favorite Aunt & Uncle have become the Matriarch & Patriarch of our two families. (My favorite Aunt & Uncle, and her younger sister are the only ones in their generation with fully functioning memories, two older aunts are having memory problems and my mother was the oldest. We don’t really have much to do with my father’s family, but my father’s older sisters have both passed. The oldest sister’s husband was the one mentioned above. The other sister’s husband is apparently still alive, as are the youngest brother and his wife.)

As we have gotten older the larger family has drifted too. My youngest cousin only talks to me. I hadn’t realized that until my aunts complained about him never returning their calls, emails, or snail mail. So now I’m officially his contact from the rest of the family. My aunts were worried that I’d drift off too – and I probably would have except that I wanted to be at least a little part of my nieces and nephews lives. But that hasn’t worked out very well for me since I haven’t seen my younger niece in a couple years and it’s been about 7 or 8 years since I saw her brother or their mother.

My older brother rarely communicates with me. My younger brother is supposed to be my family contact, but I usually only hear from him 2 or 3 times a year. He occasionally tells me when family or family friends have died.

I should point out that only two of my cousins have gotten divorced – the one who only speaks to me and the older son of my father’s oldest sister. Everyone else is still married. So unlike many other families, that isn’t the reason for the disconnection. That a pretty good record for my parents and their seven siblings (6 marriages), my two brothers and our 13 cousins (I think there’ve been 14 weddings if you count the post-divorce marriage). There’ve been at least 3 or 4 weddings among the next generation including my older nephew.

You did well with the senses, also with the melancholy that creeps into our daily lives when we least expect it and all it takes is some small something to tip the balance.

11 hours ago, BlindAmbition said:

Well written. Feelings of melancholy.

Thanks.  I didn't have time to plan it, so once again, I wonder where this came from.  We're having a wonderful time, so where did the melancholy come from.  It's interesting to consider.  

I really appreciate the kinds words. 

9 hours ago, droughtquake said:

I know what Phillip feels like. My mother was the communication link that kept everyone up to date on family news. After she died, my father forgot to tell me his brother-in-law had died for several months. My brothers and their families have drifted away from me. Neither of my sisters-in-law are interested in hosting holiday gatherings with my younger brother pointing out that their house is too small for gatherings and my older brother's family just being unwilling.

 

My favorite Aunt & Uncle or my cousin (their daughter & son-in-law) have hosted all the family holidays for the last several years. When my mother was still capable of hosting, the holidays were traded between my mother and her younger sister so neither hosted both in one year and Thanksgiving & Christmas were rotated between the two houses. We did the rotation for about 20 years. I live in a studio apartment, so I won’t be hosting any gatherings here. By default, my favorite Aunt & Uncle have become the Matriarch & Patriarch of our two families. (My favorite Aunt & Uncle, and her younger sister are the only ones in their generation with fully functioning memories, two older aunts are having memory problems and my mother was the oldest. We don’t really have much to do with my father’s family, but my father’s older sisters have both passed. The oldest sister’s husband was the one mentioned above. The other sister’s husband is apparently still alive, as are the youngest brother and his wife.)

 

As we have gotten older the larger family has drifted too. My youngest cousin only talks to me. I hadn’t realized that until my aunts complained about him never returning their calls, emails, or snail mail. So now I’m officially his contact from the rest of the family. My aunts were worried that I’d drift off too – and I probably would have except that I wanted to be at least a little part of my nieces and nephews lives. But that hasn’t worked out very well for me since I haven’t seen my younger niece in a couple years and it’s been about 7 or 8 years since I saw her brother or their mother.

 

My older brother rarely communicates with me. My younger brother is supposed to be my family contact, but I usually only hear from him 2 or 3 times a year. He occasionally tells me when family or family friends have died.

 

I should point out that only two of my cousins have gotten divorced – the one who only speaks to me and the older son of my father’s oldest sister. Everyone else is still married. So unlike many other families, that isn’t the reason for the disconnection. That a pretty good record for my parents and their seven siblings (6 marriages), my two brothers and our 13 cousins (I think there’ve been 14 weddings if you count the post-divorce marriage). There’ve been at least 3 or 4 weddings among the next generation including my older nephew.

Thank you for sharing.  Perhaps some of my instinct in this prompt was from a residual fear or an understanding extended family and immediate family are relationships that need nurturing to remain connected.  My parents are alive and my grandma is still kicking at 98 years old, but there is always that wonder.  My niece and nephews are older and less likely to attend events.  Phillip may have been my subconscious worry.  

Your references are interesting, because they certainly tell a tale of their own.  After writing it, Valkyrie and I both considered what was happening next after Phillip walked across the imaginary line.  What interaction would Phillip have with his neighbors?  We will see if that comes to fruition.  

2 hours ago, Stephen said:

You did well with the senses, also with the melancholy that creeps into our daily lives when we least expect it and all it takes is some small something to tip the balance.

Thank you so much.  I think I did pretty well.  There is a melancholy which seeps into the basement of our minds and lies in wait for when we 'go there.'   That is a good characterization of the situation.  Writing helps me process this usually.  Perhaps it was time for me to do so.  

I appreciate the thoughtful insight!  Thanks!!!

There is always a path if we are willing to take it... years of living has taught me that... and that is what I felt here. Being alone is a choice, and he made a different one when he stepped over into the next yard. Friendships, even temporary ones, can be our saviors. Sad and yet uplifting. Beautifully done, Cole... there is an important message in this little piece... cheers... Gary....

On 10/8/2017 at 10:49 AM, Headstall said:

There is always a path if we are willing to take it... years of living has taught me that... and that is what I felt here. Being alone is a choice, and he made a different one when he stepped over into the next yard. Friendships, even temporary ones, can be our saviors. Sad and yet uplifting. Beautifully done, Cole... there is an important message in this little piece... cheers... Gary....

Thanks Gary. There are points in every person’s life and at different points when things are challenging. I think we help each other by showing how we deal with it. We can cry, be sad, and then breathe deeply and step forward. I agree. 

Thanks for the awesome review.

Oh, thank god for him being invited to cross that line in the end. Family can be so many things. He needs a pack, however small. Somewhere to connect. Perhaps he can get that next door. 

38 minutes ago, Puppilull said:

Oh, thank god for him being invited to cross that line in the end. Family can be so many things. He needs a pack, however small. Somewhere to connect. Perhaps he can get that next door. 

That is so true.  Most of the time, we are sad not because we crossed the line but because we hadn't.  We can let fear keep us from our next adventure.  Phillip needs it badly.