Going Home - 1. Chapter 1

I could hear the song playing on my iPod and found it sort of amusing. I really guess I was in a New York state of mind, but only because I had to go back. There was so much there I didn’t want to have to deal with. That was the whole reason I had left home ten years ago. Funny, you can’t truly escape your past. Life has a way of forcing you to go full circle and face the things you would rather forget.

“Please return your seats to an upright position.” The flight attendant drew everyone’s attention with her sweet southern drawl. “At this time we ask once again that all electronic devices with wifi enabled are turned off as we begin to prepare for our descent. We will be arriving on time at McArthur Airport in Islip, New York. We hope you have enjoyed your flight.”

I looked out the window, and as we passed below the clouds, could already make out the ocean and Fire Island as the plane approached our final destination.

“It looks so beautiful, doesn’t it?”

I turned; the older lady who had been sitting next to me was looking out the window. I nodded, unable to say how I felt about finally coming home.

I carried a single piece of luggage as I exited the plane. I almost laughed as it struck me that I hadn’t been carrying much more when I left home years ago. There was just so much pain to deal with then, and now I was back to face more.

As I passed through the gates and out to where people were waiting, I watched as many of the people I’d been on the plane with were greeted by family and friends. My family knew I was coming in, but no one had come to greet me. I walked out the front doors of the airport and waved down a cab.

In many ways, it was stupid how I gawked at the changes. Ten years is a long time, and no place stays the same. For me, the island was frozen in memory, unchanging. Being here again I was faced with reality, and that included all the growth and changes that had occurred in my absence. The closer the cab took me to my parents’ home, the harder it was to believe all that had happened, as the places where my life had been lived failed to remain as they were. The restaurant I had worked in was now a laundromat, the movie theater was now a drug store, and the ice cream parlor where I had first met Mike was gone. A Home Depot stood where the strip mall had been.

As the cab pulled up to the address, I couldn’t help but stare. The house seemed smaller than I remembered it. They had redone the roof and reshingled the house as well. Now instead of the wooden shakes, the house was done in a deep blue vinyl. I grabbed the bag off the seat next to me and handed the driver her fare.

I stood for a moment and watched the cab pull down the street. A part of me wished I had never gotten out of it.

“Guess you made it.”

I turned around and looked up to find Lisa standing on the front step.

“Nice to see you too, Lisa. Why, yes, my flight was fine.”

“Yeah.” She wrapped her arms around herself and watched as I came in the gate and up the stairs.

“Am I the last to arrive?”

Lisa nodded. “Do you have a cigarette? Seems no one else in the family smokes.”

“Sorry, Sis. I never started.”

Lisa shook her head. “It’s going to be a long few days.”

I entered to find Frank and his wife, Sarah, sitting on the couch.

“Tim, glad you could make it.” Frank stood up and walked over to shake my hand.

“Frank, did I have a choice? And why are you so formal all of a sudden?”

Sarah stood up and walked over. “It's nice to finally meet you, Tim.” She gave me a hug and stepped back to wrap her arms around her husband’s arm.

Funny, Sarah and Frank had been married for six years. Frank didn’t even invite me to the wedding, but now, here he was, acting like my showing up was normal. God, could this get any weirder?

I looked around. The only one missing so far was Nicky. My dear ultra conservative brother, who wouldn’t wear white after Labor Day, think of cursing in public, or not wearing socks, even if he was in flip flops. Yes, his attitude and Dad’s anger - on top of everything else that final day - made my leaving New York possible.

“He is in the bedroom with Dad,” Lisa said, as she entered the house again.

“Who is?” I tried to stay calm, but this wasn’t going to be easy.

“Nick. He has been acting as Dad’s support since it happened.” Lisa moved over to the couch and plopped down.

“They’re waiting for you.” Frank pointed down the hall.

It wasn’t like I could forget where my parent’s bedroom was. I’d grown up in this house with all of them. Funny, I kept thinking that, as the baby, they were all supposed to help protect me, yet when the time came, no one did, and not one of them offered to help.

I set my bag down and took a deep breath before I headed down the hallway. Like everything else, this hadn’t stayed the same, either. My parents’ bedroom had always been a deep pink with a very modern white bed with the upholstered headboard. Now, the room was a soft baby blue with all oak furniture. The room wasn’t my only surprise.

“You could have at least dressed appropriately,” hissed Nicky, as he caught sight of me.

“It was nearly a hundred and two degrees when I boarded the plane. What I am wearing is appropriate for the travel I had to do.”

“You came.” My father’s voice was flat as he spoke.

“Of course, I came. My mother would expect no less.” I looked at him and waited for his comments to continue.

Instead, he sat on the bed and just nodded his head. I could see the grey had turned snow white, and the cold in his words didn’t seem to sting as it once had. When had he grown so old?

“She was our mother, too,” Nicky said quietly.

Funny, but Mom was the only one who kept in touch with me. She let me know what was happening. I sent cards to everyone for their birthdays, weddings, and Christmas but the only one who ever sent me a card back was Mom. So eventually, the family had narrowed to just Mom. She had supported me when everything came crashing down, but she was all there was.

“Yeah, but she was the only one who seemed to remember I was family,” I said to Nicky, looking him in the eye.

Nicky looked at me for a moment, and then turned away and looked at the floor.

“She said we did wrong by you, Tim.” My father’s voice was emotionless and he looked at me like I wasn’t really there. “We can’t even do much without you here.”

I blinked and looked at my father. What had my mother done?

_ * _ * _ *

The snow had finally stopped when I managed to finally get home again. My face was a mess of black and blue, swollen, and my one eye was nearly closed completely. I’d packed everything I could into a single bag and gone to my parents’. The taxi ride seemed to take forever, but I had never been so happy to see my parents’ place. I’d called Mom to warn her I was on my way there.

“Tim, Jesus, you look like hell, baby. Get in here.”

Mom stood on the stoop, no jacket, and the wind was whipping the snow off the roof and onto her head.

I hurried toward her and nearly completely broke down when she wrapped me in her arms.

“What happened? Where’s Mike?” Mom led me into the living room and sat me down.

“In the hospital. They won’t let me in to see him.” Every word hurt me to say, and even now, I wasn’t sure how he was doing. “The hospital would only let me wait downstairs and couldn’t tell me anything because I’m not family.” I just knew his parents wouldn’t let me in to see him.

“What happened?” Mom sat there, holding my hand, looking into my face.

“We’d gone out for dinner. He found this new Italian place he wanted to try. We were leaving to head home when the truck came barreling out of nowhere. He hit us with such force, the car rolled. I’m bruised and look like hell, but Mike ….”

Mom squeezed my hand.

I was crying so hard I couldn’t get a word out for a while. It was while I sat on the couch that Dad came home.

“Tim, you look like shit.” His voice cut through the sounds of my grief. “What? Your boyfriend get tired of you and beat you up?” He stood above me, arms crossed, sneering at me.

“Robert, your son was in an accident. Mike was hurt. If you can’t be nice, go in the other room!” Mom stood and glared at Dad.

Dad looked from her to me, and then he just walked into the kitchen.

“Were you checked out?” Mom looked me over carefully.

“Yeah. Nothing is broken. After a few hours of sitting in the lobby and being told nothing, I went home, but I can’t stay there, Mom. Everything reminds me of Mike. I want to know what is going on, but his parents won’t let me see him. I can’t even find out how he is doing.”

“You two have been together for three years. You think they would realize by now how much you love each other.” Mom held me close and let me cry.

She made me go lie down and rest. When I woke up hours later, the whole family had been called in.

“You look like crap, Tim. Can you even see out of your eye?” Lisa stood in the doorway, her latest tattoo outlined by an angry red inflammation.

“Not yet. Doctor said when the swelling goes down, I should be fine.”

Lisa nodded and led the way back to the living room.

“Damn.” Frank shook his head as soon as he got one look at me.

“So you survived.” Nick stood near Dad.

Dad sat in his usual seat and scowled at me.

“I thought your family might lend you support.” My mother came and gave me a hug.

“He doesn’t need our support. He has a whole community to back him up.” My father stared at me.

He hadn’t taken it well when I came out in my senior year of college. He greeted my announcement with scorn. The only thing that kept him at bay was my mother, who loved Mike like I did. I met Mike, and we had instantly become a couple. I’d never known how supportive a person who wasn’t my mother could be until I met Mike. He was my partner in every sense of the word.

“I don’t see why we all had to come.” Nick stood, as he always did, by Dad’s side. “I mean, it was an accident. If you are hurt, hire a lawyer and sue.”

“Just make sure you are okay,” Frank commented as he moved to get his coat.

“I never thought my children could be so ungrateful. You all use Tim, treat him like your servant, expect him to do it all just because you ask, and now he needs you. How dare you try to walk away.” Mom stood in the center of the room, her face red.

“Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll be okay.”

“See. He’s fine. I’m going home.” Lisa stood up, just as the phone rang.

Mom shot them all a look, they froze where they stood, and she went to answer it.

“Hello. Yes. Hi Marion. What? When? But. Marion… Tim, no, but … hello?”

During the conversation I felt my stomach fall away. Marion was Mike’s mother. She hadn’t called the apartment or my cell phone. She had called my mother. Something wasn’t right.

“What is it?” My voice was barely a whisper, and I wrapped my arms around myself to keep from grabbing my mother and shaking her ‘til she told me what she knew.

“Tim.” She put her arms around me and hugged me tight. “Mike died from his injuries. He died earlier. Marion just called to let me know.”

“I should go. I need to pick out his coffin.” My mind was spinning from things I might need to do to things I knew would have to be done. “What am I going to bury him in, Mom?”

“Baby … they won’t let you be a part of it. She doesn’t want you at the funeral.”

I just fell apart at that. I was being denied everything. Mike always said his mother would change and accept us both, but he was wrong. She was cutting me out of his life, his funeral, his existence. It was more than I could bear at all once.

“I don’t see why you are so upset. It isn’t like you were married or anything.” Nick commented as he sat down stiffly beside Dad.

_ * _ * _ *

“She left you as the executor of her estate,” Nick stated, once I had finally sat down that night.

“I really don’t need anything from her.” I watched as all my siblings stared at me.

“She has everything in her name. The house, the car, and most of the stocks are in her name.” Dad sat there, shaking his head.

“Frank, let’s go home. Leave your brother and father to sort this out.” Sarah tried to ease her husband out of the firing range that the house had become.

Funny, I hadn’t said anything, really. Lisa kept looking for a chance to smoke but had no cigarettes. Frank sat with his wife and looked really uncomfortable. Nick stood at Dad’s side, and Dad just looked old. The four of them talked at each other and occasionally to me, very politely. I just couldn’t figure out why. It was Lisa who let the whole thing slip.

“You don’t think she would actually force us to pay her back, do you?” Lisa asked Nick, when she thought I was out of hearing range.

“We all owed her money. None of us paid her back, but she had us all sign the loan agreements. If she left them to Tim, we are all in deep trouble,” Nick hissed at her.

“Why? I did nothing wrong.” Lisa stood and raised her chin.

“Not one of us did what Mom asked us to do. How many cards or calls did you make to Tim since he left?” Frank asked from his place on the couch.

“You borrowed money from your mother?” Sarah sounded shocked.

“Yeah, and she said it would be forgiven if I just kept in touch with Tim and gave her small payments.”

“You did, didn’t you?” Sarah got louder as she asked.

The only sound was silence.

I didn’t hear anything else as I left them all there to stew. I walked out into the warm summer night and watched as the fire-flies filled the air.

“God, Mom, what did you do? What sort of mess did I walk into?”

_ * _ * _ *

I felt like I walked into a horror show. I went to the wake, and my mother went with me. I signed the book and found the wake held a closed coffin. There was a picture of Mike from his graduation placed on top of the coffin. I found the small copy of his obituary where he was listed as a loving son, a graduate of college, and a hard worker. No mention of me or our years together was there. I’d been wiped from his life, like I’d never existed.

“I knew you’d show up.” I turned to find Valerie, Mike’s sister.

“I couldn’t stay away.” I walked into Valerie’s hug.

“Mike loved you. I knew you would come. You can’t stay. Mom will have you tossed. She forewarned the funeral director. You weren’t supposed to be able to get in.”

Valerie hugged me tight. She walked with me to the back where my mother was. She walked us out and filled me in on what had happened at the hospital. How the massive damage from the steering wheel had crushed his ribs, done damage to his lungs and his face. He had suffered a massive heart attack, and they couldn’t revive him.

“If you have anything left of yours in the apartment, go get it. Mom intends to clean it out and close it down tomorrow.” Valerie held me close and tried hard not to cry, but I could hear it in her voice.

“It was our place.”

“The apartment was in his name.” Valerie shook her head. “She has Goodwill coming in the evening. Like I said, anything you want, you better go get.”

“I can’t believe Marion didn’t tell us.” Mom stood, shaking her head, her hand resting on my shoulder.

“She never accepted Mike being gay.” Valerie shook her head and rolled her eyes. “She kept saying he just needed to meet the right the woman and forget all about Tim.”

Every word Valerie said was one I suspected. Marion had invited Mike over for Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter, but they were always single invites. She always seemed upset whenever Mike and I stopped by for a visit. My mother invited us both over for dinner weekly, and Dad usually was silent through the meals. Mike thought he just never had much to say. I was always grateful he didn’t let his hatred spill out.

Mom drove me over to the apartment. There wasn’t much of my stuff there. I grabbed the rest of my clothes. Too many things were painful. I took our photo albums, some of the music CDs, and the stuffed teddy bear he bought me for our first Valentine’s Day. The rest of the belongings were Mike’s or stuff I just couldn’t bear to see without him.

“Are you sure you have everything? Marion is going to get rid of the rest of this tomorrow, Tim. You won’t have another chance, honey.”

“I know, Mom. The rest doesn’t really have any meaning without Mike.”

Mom walked over and hugged me. We took my few belongings down to the car. I was crying again and couldn’t function. She drove us home.

What I wasn’t expecting was the entire family sitting around the kitchen table. They sure weren’t expecting us from the sound of the conversation they were having, either.

_ * _ * _ *

We sat around a table as the lawyer finished reading the last part of my mother’s will.

“And it will be up to Tim what he wants to do with the debts owed to my estate. He is the executor of my estate, and that is final.”

Five faces watched my every move as I sat there, stunned. She had the house revert to Dad, but everything else was left basically to my discretion. Seems I was the only one who hadn’t borrowed, and each of my siblings were in to my mother for over twenty-five thousand dollars or more. They hadn’t paid her a dime back, and now it was time to collect, if I wanted to.

“There is a letter left for each of you.” The lawyer stood and passed them out. Mine was the thickest one.

I didn’t want to deal with this. Mom’s wake was tonight and the funeral tomorrow. All I really wanted to do was finish this and go home. My family hadn’t been there for me, and once I had done my duty to Mom, I didn’t really want to see any of them.

“Can I drive you home?” Frank stood waiting at the door.

“No, thanks. I need some time.” I looked at the envelope with my name in printed in Mom’s handwriting across the front. “Besides, I have some reading to do.”

I’d rented a car so I wouldn’t have to depend on the rest of the family. I ended up going to South Shore Manor, the same restaurant that Mike and I had our last meal in. I felt like I was on auto pilot. I sat at the table and just looked at the envelope.

“Tim?” a female voice asked from behind me.

I turned to find Valerie standing there with a little boy at her side and man behind her.

“Oh lord. Valerie, how are you?”

She walked over and hugged me.

“I’m great. This is Joseph, my husband, and my son, Michael.”

I looked down at the little boy who was presently hiding behind his mother’s leg and smiled.

“Nice to meet you.” Joseph reached out to shake my hand. “I’ve heard about you. Nice to put a face to the name.”

“Thank you.” I stared at Valerie. I had no idea what to say.

“Mom and Dad might never have accepted Mike and you, but I did.” Valerie smiled and pulled her son out from behind her leg. “Michael is named after his uncle.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, Michael.” I knelt down and looked at Mike’s nephew. He had the same big green eyes that both Valerie and Mike had, but that is where his similarity to his uncle ended.

Michael smiled and looked at his feet.

“When Valerie told me about her brother and you, and how she wanted to name our son after you both, well I couldn’t stop her.” Joseph smiled and looked at his wife before pulling her in for a hug.

“After both of us?” I looked blankly from Valerie to her husband.

“Yes, Michael Timothy Perez,” Valerie said with a smile.

“Me!” Michael cried loudly as his mother said his name.

The tears I had been holding back finally broke. The loss of my mother and Mike had been so hard on me, but seeing this little boy with the big smile and green eyes gave me hope for the future.

“Are you okay? Gee, Tim, you look worn out. Sit down.” Valerie grabbed my arm and made me sit.

“Hey, little man, what say we go order dinner and let Mommy talk for a moment?” Joseph looked down at his son with a smile.

“Okay. Be back, Mommy.” He grabbed his father’s hand, and the two walked off to the counter.

“Mom passed away. I only came home for her funeral,” I finally managed to get out.

“I saw in the paper she had passed away. I’m so sorry, Tim.”

“Yeah. She sort of left me to deal with my family. Funny, she was the only one there for me when Mike died. Now all of them need me to decide if I let them off the hook or make them pay.”

Valerie cocked her head and looked at me. “I’m not sure what you mean, Tim. But you were always the most forgiving and loving man I’d ever met. You and Mike just faced each day so full of life. Tell me you found someone new.”

I almost lied to her, but this was Valerie, the kid sister I never had. She had warned me about Marion planning to get rid of the apartment and had let me escape with my memories.

“I only began seeing someone right before I had to come here. He wanted to come with me, but I didn’t want to expose him to my family, especially now that Mom wouldn’t be there.”

“Yeah, your mom was a special lady.” Valerie reached over and held my hand.

_ * _ * _ *

It was nearly a week after Mike died that I came to my decision.

“I can’t stay here with you and Dad.” I was standing in the living room looking out at the snow as it fell softly again. There was getting to be a small pile of it every few days that needed shoveling.

“Damn right you can’t. You’re old enough to be out on your own.” My father’s voice cut across the room, and I turned to see him watching me from his rocking chair.

“You’re welcome here always, hon. This is your home, too.” Mom stood and came over to hug me.

“You are always such a child, Tim.” Nick stood in the doorway of the kitchen. “Just move on. I mean, you weren’t married and all. It isn’t like you two had children.”

I turned and looked at my brother with contempt. Maybe it was because he couldn’t seem to keep the same girl. He changed dates like some men changed their underwear.

“Nicholas!” My mother turned and glared at my brother.

“Leave him be. The boy is entitled to his opinion.” My father looked at my brother and smiled.

Michael Kincade was gone. I’d never hold him again, touch his face, or hear his voice again. I needed space, a chance to begin fresh, and to get away from my family.

“I don’t see what the problem is. I thought you’d be over it by now.” Nick stood there like an idiot.

“I see,” I said as I walked over to him. “So if you fell in love, and your girlfriend died, you would be in the bed of a new girl within a week.”

“No, but that would be me and a woman,” he growled at me.

“I got news for you, Nick. If you are in love, doesn’t matter what the sex of your partner is. However, I guess that is a bit too much for you. Hope you don’t ever fall in love, ‘cause I doubt you could handle the reality.”

“You apologize to your brother, Tim. So help me God, only one of you ever acted like my son and a human being.” My father stood up and moved to my brother’s side.

“I’ve had enough. You act like this is nothing. I lost my partner. Someone who was there when I was sick, held me when I hurt, loved me like no other person ever has. He died. He didn’t leave me. He didn’t find someone else. He was killed in an accident.” I could barely breathe.

I rushed down the hallway to my old bedroom and tossed my stuff in the single bag there. I made sure I had everything and turned to find my mother in the doorway.

“Do what you have to do, Tim. I know they don’t understand, but I do. Please don’t forget me.”

I walked over and hugged my mother. “How could I forget the woman who has always been in my corner?”

“I want to give you some money. That way, you have something to start off with.”

“No, Mom. I don’t want your money. I need to do this on my own. I have to start over, and I need away from everything here. If I am not reminded of Mike or have the family telling me how I am less than a person, well, it will be easier for me.”

“Are you sure, Tim? A few hundred even?”

I kissed my mother’s cheek. “Thanks, Mom. But I think I can be man enough to stand on my own two feet.”

“Just know if you ever do need money, don’t be afraid to ask for it.”

I’d been on the phone with different friends and relatives while I tried to pull my act back together. Alison, a friend from college, offered to let me stay with her. She even knew of a job opening down in Jacksonville where I could put my degree to work for me. It would be a massive change, but my family had made it clear that staying home wouldn’t mean support.

“Mom, I’m moving to Florida. Alison offered to help me get set up. I’ll be okay. I promise.”

I took the Long Island Railroad to the city and then a train south to Florida. All I had was a single bag of clothes, some music, and a stuffed teddy bear, but I was leaving a family divided behind me.

_*_*_*

“So, do we have to pay you back?” Lisa asked, looking at me with a cigarette dangling from her lip as I walked to the end of the driveway to await my cab.

“I don’t think we should have to,” Nick chimed in. “I mean the money came from Mom, not you.”

“I’ll have the first payment ready in a week, Tim.” Frank stood a bit apart from the rest.

It had taken a week to finish everything that had to be done immediately. Most of it I was going to have to do through the lawyer, until it was time for me to have to sign things. Then I might have to fly back up.

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. The lawyer said I had a little time yet to decide if I was going to make you pay it back, with interest, or let it go.”

Lisa and Nick turned pale. They had taken the largest amounts and given Mom nothing. Not that Frank had paid anything back, but his total sat just at just twenty five thousand dollars, which was small compared to my other siblings.

“I never realized with the small closet of clothes and how she acted just how much money Mom had squirreled away over the years from her various jobs. She was a damn smart investor.” I looked over at Nick. “Funny, you went to school for investment banking. So how did you end up borrowing so much from Mom?”

Nick refused to look at me. “None of your goddamn business.”

“Okay. And, Lisa, what about you? You always say none of us could understand your life. How are my niece and nephew? Do you get visitation with them?”

“Their father lets me have visitation only if there is an authorized person with them.”

“I’m assuming your money was for the court cases.”

Lisa didn’t say anything, but fingered the names of her children that were tattooed on her arm.

“I borrowed for the house. I wanted Sarah and me to have a nice house. I have all sorts of loans from my years in school, so I couldn’t get another loan,” Frank said quietly, while glancing at his wife. “Mom set me up with the capital for our house.”

“You know, I find it funny. You all looked down at me. God knows when I needed you most, none of you were there for me. Nick, you took great pleasure in telling me I couldn’t even know what love was.”

Frank was the only one who blushed. His wife held his hand, but looked at me unsure what I was going to do.

“Frank, I’ve already talked to the lawyer. Your bill is reduced. Sarah, it was nice meeting you. I hope when you have time, you will remember to call.” I shook Frank’s hand before turning to Sarah who smiled and hugged me tightly. Then I turned to face my remaining siblings.

Lisa and Nick looked at Frank with smiles on their faces as he walked away with his wife.

“I believe, however, that Lisa and Nick borrowed at six percent interest and haven’t ever made a payment.”

“Two percent. It was only two percent,” Lisa nearly screamed as she looked at me.

“No, two percent was if you made payments. If none had been made by the time the debts became mine, then a full six percent would be made retroactive. It was in the contract the lawyer showed me.”

Nick looked ghostly pale as he realized how much he had borrowed and what that would amount to with interest.

“You wouldn’t actually charge us interest, would you?” Lisa asked, her eyes wide.

“Let me tell you something, Lisa. I came home to bury my mother. Frank and Sarah were at least cordial to me. You want to know who showed me the most sympathy?”

I looked at Lisa and then at Nick.

“Valerie. Mike’s sister is the one who showed me the most kindness. I found out she even named her son after Mike and me. Your children were born, and I had to find out from Mom. I sent them gifts, and you never even acknowledged you got them.”

Lisa sat down on the stoop and began to cry.

“Although, you at least admit to your children. Nick paid to have his girlfriends leave him alone.”

“How dare you?” Nick stood there, his face red.

“I’ll tell you how I dare. Mom’s letter to me filled me in on everything. She may have given you the money, but she also found out why you needed it. You have three kids, Nick. Twin girls and a boy from two different mothers.”

Nick just stood there.

“I’m sure Dad will be so proud of you. Mom kept in touch with the women who had your children. They knew their grandmother.”

“I never knew.” Nick whispered the words as he stood there. The look of shock showed how little he had known Mom.

“Yeah, well, the money you both owe is going to be put in trust for them and all of Mom’s grandchildren. Hell, Frank and Sarah might have children, too, who will get a part of it.”

Lisa looked at me and cried. Nick stood there in silence.

“Mom taught me one important thing; you always take care of family, especially when they are in need. You love them and you try to help them. You don’t care about your children, so I will, with the promises you made to Mom.”

A cab pulled up in front of the gate, and I moved to put my bag in the car.

“Your first payments are due to the lawyer at the end of the month. I wouldn’t suggest paying late. If you do, the interest rate will go up.” I climbed in the car to head home.

I hated New York.